Rebecca Jones-Howe's Blog, page 22

“I have work, then a dinner thing, and then I am busy trying to become who I am.”

I haven’t been up to much as of late, other than working until my eyes cry and waiting for rejection slips to come back (most recently from Birkensnake and LampLight magazines, which I will submit to again because I’m such a masochist!) so I can cry some more, maybe even over a bottle of wine (if I’m lucky enough to have one lying around…)

Really, though, things haven’t been all THAT bad, so here’s a little vanity to at least make this website seem the least bit current. Recently I purchased myself the Deborah Lippmann “GIRLS” nail polish collection (you know, like, based off the hit HBO show) from my off-price retail workplace, because we got it in and it was half the price off the website.

I don’t always bother all that much because [A] I don’t really do the whole salon thing, [B] I work in a warehouse and my nails break just as fast as they grow out, and [C] Doing them myself is a massive endeavor that consists of sweatpants and having to do something that requires a lot of hand use RIGHT AFTER I’ve done that third coat plus topcoat over a bunch of other coats that hadn’t actually dried yet.

Nevertheless, after painting on a couple coats of Hannah Horvath’s signature “Hapless Hunter Green” shade, I then proceeded to make dinner by peeling potatoes and defrosting chicken and cutting a bunch of other vegetables and my nails survived, so that’s kind of a bonus. I’d even go so far as to say that this set is totally worth the original asking price of $45. I even did an accent nail with some China Glaze “Golden Enchantment”, which I figured I’d probably mention only because all those trendy nail polish blogs do. And this wouldn’t be a true nail polish post if I didn’t post the official-looking photo with the bottle, so here you go:

Shock Totem Reviews ‘The New Black’

John Borden of the great literary horror magazine, Shock Totem, has given THE NEW BLACK (which features a reprint of my story, “Blue Hawaii”) a great first review.

Here’s a little of what he had to say:

“The New Black is a great collection of incredibly unique fiction. I honestly liked every story in here, and I usually don?t say that about an anthology. It was also nice to encounter so many authors with whom I was unfamiliar. A strong compilation of talent. Very strong.”

Read the full review.

The anthology doesn’t come out until May, but you can pre-order it now on Amazon.

Things I Did Instead of Writing Tonight

- Had a bath

- Crocheted a granny square

- Watched Shaun of the Dead

- Drank a whole bottle of wine

- Wrote this blog post

In my defense, though, I DID write a scene, but it definitely wasn’t what I hoped to conquer.

The scene wasn’t even sexy.

I’m rambling.

So it’s the weekend and I can totes drink. Tonight I’m drinking some cheap-ass Gewurztraminer and it is pretty damn chill. I’m feeling it, but I’ve already had near about half the bottle or so, sooooooooooooo…

I tagged this post under the drunken webcam thing, only I’m so damn sick of turning on my webcam because my laptop’s pretty damn clogged with dust and shit, and every weekend Jon and I have off together I forget to buy canned air. Which reminds me that I should buy canned air tomorrow but I’ll probably forget.

And So Continues the Tradition of Late Updates…

I was gonna make a New Year’s post but that didn’t happen. Yesterday I was gonna make a post about turning 27 but then I had to clean the house before all my party guests came over and, well, that didn’t happen either. It’s okay, though, because I never really made any resolutions about making more periodic updates on my website. All I wanted was to stop drinking on weeknights, which didn’t really happen last night, but come on, it was my birthday.

That all said and updated, I can finally write a real update with some real shit. 2014 is gonna be madhouse great because:

1. The New Black, which you can now pre-order on Amazon.

2. I finally, FINALLY had a story accepted at PANK, which was a welcome Christmas Eve miracle. Not only was it an acceptance, but it was an acceptance for their print edition, which comes out sometime in mid-2014. I’ll obviously make a late update when I DO find more news, but in the meantime, I’ll just share this sexy hipster graphic excerpt:

3. Imma gonna finish mah short story collection, which is gonna be so ballin’ you just don’t even know.

“I Think Your Hair Looks Much Better Pushed Over to One Side”

I thought Charli XCX’s new song, “SuperLove” was too much bubblegum pop at first but it sort of grew on me.

To be entirely honest, though, when I watch this video I’m totally envious of her ability to piggyback dudes in a pleated mini-skirt without showing off her knickers. I know it’s camera tricks and all, but still.

You’ll Never Get with the Cool People

Lately I’ve been sending my stories to the higher and more prestigious “literary” magazines. Seriously, it’s no fun and very unrewarding, for the wait times are long and the responses are 100% form rejection letters.

No joke.

Here’s the latest:

Dear Po-Ass Writer,

We regret that we are unable to publish “Shittastic Story You Worked So Hard NOT to Put A Sex Scene In”. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider it, and we wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Regards,

Too Cool For You, Bitch

It’s paraphrased, but you get the point. I am just not cool.

Sometimes I think about writing a parody Taylor Swift album wherein Taylor Swift is a poor little writer and all the Greek God dudes are replaced with big-wig magazines that will help said writer carve a name for herself and give her all the self-esteem in the world.

I think about this and then I think about all the advice I was given about dating in high school. You know, like, “Don’t go after the hot guy you’ll never ever have a chance with. Go after the dude who actually likes you.”

Over the spring I had quite a bit of luck pursuing the noir/edgy magazines, what with my offbeat tales of feminism and hot hot sex. To be honest, I didn’t think of myself as much of a pulp writer, but it seemed the place where my work best fit, and I picked up a lot of readers from Out of the Gutter, Pulp Modern, ManArchy and Punchnel’s. It’s definitely a part of literary world I can call home, but I don’t really want to just do the one-trick pony thing. I’ve got other stories in me and places I’d love those stories to be published, and getting into THOSE sections of the world is a total pain in the ass.

And honestly, I’m a bit of a recluse, so sometimes I never think it’s worth the effort. One day, when I get that legit acceptance letter and I get paid like, more than twenty bucks for a story, it’ll be totally worth it. I know it’ll be worth it, but this whole waiting game thing is still difficult to deal with. Most of the time I just feel like I’m doing nothing and dragging my feet, and then I get another rejection and it’s like being smacked in the face, and it sucks because I’ve got some great stories that seriously need to be read.

But you know, in time.

At this point, however, hype is building with The New Black, the first anthology to be released by Dark House Press in 2014. A reprint of my story, “Blue Hawaii” will appear within its pages. Recently I got to sift through the advanced reading copy, and holy shit is it fantastic. The forward by Laird Barron is an amazing summary of the neo-noir genre. Richard Thomas’ introduction is a wonderful first impression of the writers within. And the layout and artwork (by the fabulous Luke Spooner of Carrion House) is seriously amazing. It’s the best-looking book I’ve ever had work featured in.

It’s like a 12 on a scale of 10.

Here’s a sexy little peek for ya:

Half the Lights are Burnt Out on My Pre-Lit Christmas Tree

I’m of the “don’t set up the Christmas decorations until December first” variety. I think it’s a good rule, and typically I tend to wait until longer to put my decorations out anyway, because laziness and all that.

This year, though, I decorated the ‘ole driftwood wreath all spifftastically, and so I decided to keep up my ambition and do the same thing with the tree. I’ve got the whole white mid-century look going on, and I got this tree a couple years ago thinking the whole pre-lit deal with make for easy setup. Except last year half the lights were burnt out and I boxed the tree away thinking I’d have more patience to deal with it this year.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Share some of your decorating woes with me? Make me feel better? Please?

Brewery Parties are the Best Holiday Parties

Last night was Jon’s Christmas work party. I always enjoy the perks of being married to a brewer, one of which includes a Christmas party where there’s free booze. I always think that must be a nice thing, to be able to celebrate the holidays by drinking all the alcohol you broke your ass all year producing.

So I took my very first bathroom selfie at said party, which I don’t think is stooping all that low considering that the bathroom was really nice at the venue AND I was sporting my new outfit, which was this amazing 60′s-inspired Scallop Lace Dress from Shophill Boutique (an indie British brand that I’m now hooked on).

Seriously, Fuck November

It’s probably just the whole daylight savings curse of darkness, but November always beats the shit out of me. Like seriously destroys the caving walls that hold my soul together. It’s probably just because I’m a retail worker facing the impending doom of a first world capitalist Christmas, but November is basically that time of year where my sanity tries to hibernate from the threat of imploding on itself. It’s just one of those things I’ve learned to accept, is that come November I’m really not going to get any shit done.

The truth is that this November I applied for a job promotion I really wanted and then faced some immediate regrets about applying for said promotion and then faced some pretty horrible dread about what the future meant regarding said job promotion. The truth is that once US Thanksgiving comes and goes and I give way and spend probably way too much money on early online Black Friday sales that I feel just a bit better.

Also, the job isn’t going so bad and now I work mostly early shifts, which is all I ever really wanted in life, was a little damn reliability.

I also FINALLY finished the story I was so excited about starting on my third wedding anniversary (which was on fucking October 16th, mind you), so I’m actually feeling pretty proper now. Typically when it comes to writing stories I like to build myself little playlists to listen to while I’m writing them. The problem is that I usually don’t come up with the right tracks to add to the story playlist until I’ve slaved in agony over a couple shit drafts. The fact that the shit drafts I wrote of my current WIP (“work in progress” for you rookies) were so agonizing to go over made the creation of the following playlist feel like some kind of mental orgasm that was so amazing it kept me up until midnight with endorphin rush of FINALLY FUCKING FINISHING SOMETHING AT LONG LAST!

For real, though, this playlist is like, the epitome of greatness. Just listen to it and feel the impact of my musical tastes. And maybe guess what my story might possibly be about.

Rabbit Hearts and Trophy Wives by Rebecca Jones on Grooveshark