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A LOOK BACK: “Better Places”

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3 Times I Was Pitched to Join An MLM

It’s become a coming of age moment, that part of your life when you get pitched to join an MLM. Think of any time that an old high school friend slid into your DM’s with an emoji-ridden message like:

Hey, hun! I hope it isn’t weird to message you out of nowhere but I have an opening in my business that I think you would be AMAZING at! Be your own #bossbabe, work from home and get paid up to $4000 a month! Message me any time if you’re interested!

MLM pitches of this ilk have ravaged the internet in recent years. They also take the form of “product tester/model” pitches, raffle pitches or “I’ve got X number of spots left this month!” pitches. Regardless, they’re all the same. MLM pitches seek to make a sale, or better yet, a recruitment.

So, in the interest of delving into what I hope will be a small series of blog posts on MLM’s, allow me to share the 3 times that I was pitched to join an MLM in real life.

The Houndstooth Coat Lady

Back in 2009, I struggled to get a hold of adult life. Sure, I lived in a townhouse with my boyfriend and another roommate. I managed to settle into my retail job for 4+ years. My anxiety, however, prevented me from ever feeling confident and secure. Self-confidence always plagued me, though I vowed that I’d figure it out eventually.

Well, one night I worked a late shift at my retail job and I noticed this pretty woman in an amazing houndstooth coat. So chic! So Gossip Girl! She carried that air of confidence that I desired, and lo and behold, she caught sight of me.

The MLM Pitch

She wanted to buy a piece of wall art and I offered to carry it to the front for her, but she stopped me before I could leave.

“I just wanted to say how pretty you are!”

“Oh, thanks,” I said, shocked that she would ever think so.

“If you ever wanted to try working for this skincare company I joined, I think you’d do well.” She slipped me her business card. “Give me a call sometime!”

I slipped the card into my apron pocket and carried the piece of wall art to the front for her. At the end of my shift, I walked home and checked out the website. The company? Arbonne. Back in 2009, Arbonne focused more on skincare than the weight loss supplements they do now. I browsed the website, intrigued.

The MLM Business

The bottles carried a minimalist look, featuring that mint green / bamboo combination that was so hot at the time. This woman thought I could sell these high products? Surprise struck me. I browsed further into the business pages, realizing that “working” for Arbonne involved selling these expensive products to friends and family. But who, out of my friends and family, would purchase a skin rejuvenation kit for over $100?

No one. Which meant that running my Arbonne “business” would require approaching strangers and asking if they would like to purchase a skin rejuvenation kit for over $100?

I seized up. The thought of working for a company so luxe, of working with a woman so chic, was so enticing, but my anxiety prevented me from doing so.

I never called the woman.

Later, I candidly mentioned the business proposition to my coworker, Laura. “She thought I’d be good it!” I said, trying to boast confidence.

“Oh God,” Laura said, upon mention of Arbonne. “They do that shit all the time. They try to recruit anyone.”

Admittedly, I was miffed, but in the progressing weeks the woman would return in her houndstooth coat. So chic. So alluring. I avoided her, refused to make eye contact. Eventually, I realized that she wasn’t going to mention Arbonne to me again.

Why? Because I shunned her. Later I’d realize how good that would feel.

The Free Makeover Lady

A few years after the Houndstooth Coat MLM Pitch, I helped a middle-aged woman at work with some bedding. In the middle of my rambling about the sheet set she considered buying, she stared me right in the eye. I stopped talking.

“You are very beautiful. You have a beautiful face, you know that?”

“Uh, thanks?” I said, unsure as to where she saw this alleged “beauty”. Self-confidence still hadn’t found me. I did my makeup but struggled to get it right.

The (AwKwArD) MLM Pitch

“Say,” the woman said, “if you and bunch of friends want to come have a party at my place, I would love to give you all makeovers!”

First off, why would you say I was beautiful and then offer me a makeover? Secondly, why would I visit your house not knowing you at all?

“I work for a company and we have so many great products. These parties are a ton of fun.”

“I…its really hard to get all my friends together because we work,” I tried. An excuse, yes, but I attempted to feign politeness.

“Does this not sound like something you’d be interested in?”

“Uh, no,” I said. “Not really. No.”

“Oh, okay then.”

The MLM Business

This woman didn’t seem too phased. I sold her on the sheets and she went about her way. I failed to discover which MLM she worked for, though it was makeup-related so I assumed it was Mary Kay.

The Weird AF Manic Pixie Dream MLM Lady

Flash forward to December of 2019. Six months pregnant with my son, things were getting tough, and I struggled through my work shifts with the sole intention of getting the hell home. One late shift, I overheard a young blonde-haired woman sporting a pixie cut calking to my co-worker, Sarah.

“Oh, you look really cute!”

Sarah thanked her, but continued with her work.

Eventually, the pixie-woman found her way to me, where I was rearranging clearance artwork on one of the shelves.

“Oh, I love your outfit!” she exclaimed.

Being pregnant and also self-absorbed (and now possessing the self-confidence I spent a decade craving), I thanked her for the compliment. She picked through the wall art and considered a few pieces, but once she finished browsing, she stuck around. This proved awkward, as I despise doing manual labour in front of watching eyes. Not to mention, my pregnancy also made tasking awkward AF.

To make matters even more awkward, pixie-woman started down a weird line of conversation.

“It must be so cool to work here!” she said.

“Yeah, I’ve worked her for 13 years.”

“Oh, my God, that’s crazy!”

“Yeah, I said, “but I also write part time.”

“Oh, my God, really?!”

I then made the mistake of venturing down the writer wormhole. I told her about my book, which she went on to ask me about. Really, I shouldn’t blame my nature. All a writer ever really wants is a chance to talk about their work, but this line of conversation went south rather quick.

The Insanely Awkward and Vague MLM Pitch

“So, would you say that you’re a person who likes flexibity?” she asked.

Oh fuck, I thought.

“Uh, kind of,” I said.

“Would you be interested in trying new things?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “This job works for me.”

“Because I have some friends who used to be private detectives and they both LOVED their job, but then they tried this new business opportunity and now they make like hundreds of thousands of dollars every year.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, good for them!”

“Well, we can totally set up a time to meet for coffee together.”

WTF?!

“It’s totally no pressure,” she said. “They’ll tell you everything that they do and we’ll talk about working this business together. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?”

“No,” I finally said.

She looked deflated. “You’d rather just work here?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I work here and I do my writing at home. This works for me.”

FINALLY, she left me the hell alone.

The MLM Business?

Now, I’m really unsure as to what kind of business she was promoting here, but I can on only guess it’s one of those new scam companies that buy domain names and optimize their SEO scores to rank on Google only to resell those domain names to real business wanting to get hits. Lately I’ve been plagued with ads for these sort of “businesses” on Facebook. I can’t tell if they’re MLM’s or not.

This woman was so damn vague about that she was recruiting me for, though. I remain stunned at her pitch.

Furthermore, WHY THE HELL DO I KEEP GETTING PITCHES AT MY JOB?!

My MLM Rant

Look, I get it. I realize that mY cOrPoRaTe jOb iS aLsO a PyRaMiD, but don’t pretend that your MLM “business” isn’t. (I would rather combine forces and blame late stage capitalism for all of our working class woes, but that’s another blog post altogether.) But if you INSIST on telling me that my job sucks, then I’ll retaliate. Fine.

My job pays me a wage for my labour. That’s what a job is. A company hires you to work for them. You don’t buy a starter pack. You don’t invest before working. They interview you, make sure you’re qualified. They give you the things needed to work the job, like an apron, and a box cutter, maybe a pair of steel-toed shoes. The company INVESTS in your labour, and every two weeks they pay you a wage. (This is without mentioning vacation time, bereavement leave, medical benefits, etc.)

At an MLM “job”, you don’t get paid for your labour. As easy as it is to make fun of all the re-posted inspirational quote graphics, all the selfies of Hunbots drinking nutritional shakes, the cold messages and the emoji-infested robotic Facebook posts, that stuff does take a LOT of time. And, much of what #bossbabes get for that time (LABOUR!) is a bunch of angry and alienated friends and family and MAYBE a sale or two, which pays a measly commission rate. How much product do you need to buy to get that commission, to maintain your rank, to keep your upline (ahem, boss) happy? Working in an MLM (for most participants) is time-consuming and grating, and and I honestly don’t think the payoff is worth the emotional toll.

But I digress.

The World of MLM’s

Long story short, I’ve recently done a deep dive into the world of MLM’s (otherwise known as “network marketing”). Firstly, my obsession stemmed from the obscure posts appearing in my Facebook timeline, some of them from friends and some longtime acquaintances.

Secondly, I’m doing research. For what, you ask? Maybe it’s a short story. Maybe, just maybe, it’s something else. You’ll have to join my Patreon to get the details. And yes, it’s funny that I’m whoring out my side-venture in an MLM post. I’m okay with that. I’m not gonna slide into your DM’s with my exclusive short stories.

Tell me Your MLM Pitch Stories

Have you been pitched? If so, was the pitch made in real life or online? Was the pitch made by a friend or a stranger? How awkward was it? Lastly, have you ever joined an MLM?

Do share in the comments below!

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How to Write a Sex Scene

Sex scenes have hit mainstream fiction with a fury (and I ain’t complaining!) But how do you know if your readers will feel the heat? Admittedly, when I first started writing seriously, I wrote sex scenes all the time. While my fiction has tamed over the years, I still have my written sex scene advice ready, and I’m going to share some of y tactics with you. In no time, you’ll have the tactics and the confidence to write some hot sex scenes.

Note: In this post, I’m talking about writing sex scenes in regular fiction. While erotica writers might benefit from these tips, this advice doesn’t pertain to erotic fiction, wherein the sex is the main focus of the story, and thus, must be more detailed.

What Makes a Sex Scene Hot, Anyway?

First off, shed the idea that a written sex scene will have the same impact that a visual sex scene has. A visual sex scene, be it on Lifetime, HBO or PornHub, for example, satisfies the voyeuristic part of your brain. A written sex scene provokes the reader to feel something deeper than lust.

Satisfaction. Obsession. Sadness. Rage.

If you want to write a hot sex scene, the ultimate goal is focusing on two things, which are TENSION and CHARACTERIZATION. So let’s get right down to achieving that in your sex scenes.

Don’t Get Physical

Now, you might be saying, “BUT THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT, REBECCA! WHAT THE HELL?! I CAN’T WRITE A SEX SCENE WITHOUT SEX!”

Active description is important for the sake of establishing the scene, but don’t get mechanical when you write your sex scene. Use description to build tension through simple visuals. For example: My shaking fingers fumbled over the buttons of her blouse. Or: She braced her legs around his hips. Or: Their laboured breath burned down her neck.

A Bad Example:

Here’s a very over-described excerpt from V.C Andrews’ Secrets of the Morning. In this scene, our protagonist Dawn shares a stage kiss with her signing teacher, Michael Sutton, only to give to her desire for him when he kisses her for real:

He took my wine glass from me and put it on the table. Then he turned back to me, moving his face toward mine slowly, and ever so slowly, brought his lips to my lips. I closed my eyes the moment we touched. This time my lips parted beneath his prolonged kiss. I gasped because his tongue touched mine, but I didn’t pull away. When he lifted his lips from my mouth, I stared to open my eyes, but he kissed them, kissing my eyelids softly and then kissing my cheek and moving down my neck.

Secrets of the Morning, page 164

Is this sexy? No, it’s not. This scene tries to portray Michael’s unwavering lust and Dawn’s naivete, but it focuses less on action and and more on body parts. All those lips and mouths and eyes? All I’m seeing here is the accurate portrayal of a Biblical angel.

Please don’t write your sex scene like this!

Your reader knows how sex works. Therefore, they do not need the detailed play-by-play of thrusts or position changes, or what one partner’s tongue feels inside the other partner’s mouth. (Unless the emotion you’re going for is disgust, of course!)

What does the sex make your protagonist feel? Is he angry? Is she empowered? Are they relieved? Overall, how does the sex change your character?

Avoid Common Sayings

Dialogue like OH YEAH, or OH GOD, I LOVE IT, or YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!

Your sex scene isn’t porn. Those commonplace sayings might peak your brain when you’re actually having sex, but they look cheesy in dialogue form.

Remember that your characters aren’t real, and thus, the sex they have cannot attain that carnal level that might entice you in an HBO sex scene. Your character’s mind-shattering orgasm is not going to make your reader feel anything, no matter how much your character screams during orgasm.

The sex your written characters have should irrevocably change them, which means that a bunch of YEAH BABY’S! is not going to cut it. Unless you want your story to appear on Literotica, do not write your sex scene with this garbage in it.

A Good example:

Here’s a scene from my short story, “Cat Calls” (available in Vile Men). In this scene, an emasculated property manager, Jason, who has emotionally distanced himself from his bread-winner wife Leslie, finally gives to the advances of a young woman who’s sexually harassed him for weeks on his train:

“Do you wanna know what I feel like?”
Her skin’s warm, soft. I slide my palm up her thigh and under her dress. She’s smooth, her inside an abyss, slick lips warming my fingers. I stare out the window at the passing blur of all the shitty apartments that I control.
“How big is your dick, Jason?”
“It’s six inches,” I say.
“Is that not big enough for your wife?”
My throat tightens. “It used to be.”
The train shakes as it slows. I slip against her. She smells like rainwater.
People board, their gazes falling toward her open legs. She clutches my hand before I can pull away.
“Let them look,” she says. “Let them think what they want. I just want you to do this for me.”

The woman’s dialogue maintains power in this exchange. As a result, Jason gives to her commands and his resolve withers as she proceeds to interrogate him. While there’s heat in this scene, the ultimate mood becomes rather demoralizing for Jason. And that, my friends, is the power of a hot sex scene.

Avoid Extended Similes / Metaphors

One thing I’ve noticed about the Literary Reviews Bad Sex Award in Fiction is how many of the winning passages are loaded with similes and metaphors. Typically, writers use these tactics as methods to make the scene more pretty or impacting, but ultimately they’re just distracting AF.

I don’t wanna see a couple boning in a dirty motel room only to be magically transported to a fluffy cloud. Another thing I don’t wanna picture is a flowing waterfall or a breezy meadow with cotton billowing about. Furthermore, I don’t wanna visualize a woman’s chest as a pair of chocolate mountains or a dude’s boner as a long sword. Don’t make me think about my vaginal walls getting sliced.

A Good Example:

Here’s the sex scene from my love story, “Tourist” (available in my free ebook, Bedside Stories. Much of the story’s mood and imagery centers around grey skies and moody ocean settings, specifically Atlantic City. In this moment, my protagonist, an emotionally-withdrawn Angie, finally allows herself to be vulnerable with her love interest, Francis.

His slow caress takes me. He lays me down on the bed, soft covers under my back, warmth encircling me. He slips his fingers under my panties, eases his reach inside of me. The tremors fill me. My grasp slips over his shoulders. My fingers curl gently through his hair. He holds me close, pulls my legs around him.

I breathe in deep, taking in the scent of Atlantic City’s boardwalk, the ocean in my lungs. I gasp and moan. I ride the waves until I’m shaking.

Focus on Tension

Think about horror. In horror, it’s the unknown that you’re afraid of. You see bits of the monster. You hear things. Feel things. You’re terrified. But the goal of a horror movie is to ultimately see the monster.

So, when you’re writing your a story, think of the sex as the monster. Before the ultimate scene occurs, you need to tease it. Show hints of it. Build the tension. Sex is the monster.

A Good Example:

Gillian Flynn’s Sharp Objects, (the show of which I raved about back in summer of 2018) contains a lot of great sexual tension. While the book is a murder mystery / family thriller, I did find myself quite gripped with the relationship between journalist Camille and the detective, Richard. Both exchange information on the case back and forth. Richard’s dialogue remains deliberately cheesy throughout their exchanges, but Camille’s inner monologue adds to the tension , creating a darker theme to her attraction to him, as well as supporting the overall mood of the novel:

Normally, Richard was the kind of guy I disliked, someone born and raised plush: looks, charm, smarts, probably money. These men were never very interesting to me; they had no edges, and they were usually cowards. They instinctively fled any situation that might cause them embarrassment or awkwardness. But Richard didn’t bore me. Maybe because his grin was a little crooked. Or because he made his living dealing with ugly things.

Sharp Objects, page 144

See what I mean? Those last few sentences really add tension.

Keep the sex Brief

No sex scene should be longer than a page. Ideally, the sex itself shouldn’t span more than a couple paragraphs. Why? Because AGAIN, writing isn’t porn, and the goal of a porn is to turn you on and get you off.

The goal of a literary sex scene is to make your reader feel something, so don’t get technical. Mapping your sex scene like a refrigerator schematic is not going to make your reader feel much. It’s gonna read like a textbook.

Sex at the end of the day is simply an act. To write a hot sex scheme, focus on the result of the act. Focus on the change, because fiction is about change.

So, What Have We Learned?

To summarize, if you want to write a hot sex scene, make sure you focus on your characters. So make sure you prioritize those emotions! Use proper dialogue. Build tension. Consider the tone of your story and allow it to build to that pivotal moment. This combination will give you maximum heat potential, thus allowing your readers to enjoy your fictional sex.

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4 Vintage Boutiques I Love

It’s been a while since I decided to quit fast fashion. I’ve done well. In fact, I made most of my clothing purchases from vintage boutiques and I can tell you that it’s been a great experience. It’s been and I know that I need to recommend some of my favourite vintage boutiques on to you.

But first, why should you buy vintage?

Wearing vintage is a hobby. Sure, you could pursue the thrift store every day, but finding quality stuff proves difficult. That’s why I love shopping boutiques. Each boutique owner plays the role of curator, hunter, stylist. While buying vintage can be expensive, the price is worth the effort of the shop owner. They find good stuff, and they find stuff in a variety of sizes.

Through Instagram, I’ve befriended a few boutique owners. There is a real community around vintage. PLUS, you get great pieces of clothing that nobody else has. Individuality. Also, quality. Most vintage comes in great condition and will last a long time.

Lastly, I will say that my style has broadened since buying from online vintage boutiques. It’s been a fun endeavor, and I love trying on looks that the boomer women rock in my church and pulling it off.

Clotheslines Vintage

I stumbled across Candace’s shop on Etsy and fell in love with her selection and prices. Based in Barrie, Ontario, Candace specializes in a broad variety of vintage basics and casuals. For the price and service and selection, I’d say that Clotheslines Vintage easily tops my list of vintage boutiques. I’ve bought a ton from her.

Most of the boutique seems to focus on a late 70s to early 80s aesthetic, though it does have some fantastic 60s winter coats I would kill for, as well as a haven for lovers of 90s denim. I particularly fell in love with her separates, many of which are great 80’s-era blouses that are versatile AF. Here’s the first piece I bought (my first boutique vintage purchase ever, which sparked my addiction:

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A post shared by Rebecca Jones-Howe (@rebeccajoneshowe) on Oct 28, 2019 at 1:59pm PDT

I’ve purchased plenty of times from Candace and her shipments always arrive with a little message and a nice discount code for future purchases. It’s uh, part of the reason why I keep coming back. No joke, literally in the middle of writing this, I received an unexpected card from Candace, thanking me for shopping with her in 2019. And yeah, she gave me another generous discount code. And yeah, I bought some more things.

I’m particularly fond of her separates. Of specific note is her selection of wool pleated skirts. I remember wanting to don them in high school so I could ride my bike and feel like Sylvia Plath every day, but finding larger sizes always proved difficult. And ladies, I am literally living my fantasy now, thanks to Clotheslines Vintage.

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A post shared by Rebecca Jones-Howe (@rebeccajoneshowe) on Dec 22, 2019 at 2:44pm PST

Neutral Ground

Alysha Cassis-Shaw runs Neutral ground out of NYC. The boutique specializes in vintage pieces in a neutral colour palette. Think browns, beiges, blacks, white, and the occasional metallic piece. Her collection is high quality, true vintage (20 years or older) and each piece is truly unique.

Alysha and I message shortly after I made my original Instagram post (the pink blouse above) about quitting fast fashion. I bought a lovely 80’s era cream sweater from her back in November and it came beautifully wrapped with a kind personal message about our online interaction. It was so very personal and meant a lot.

The prices are in the higher range, due to the specialized pieces. That being said, they’re pretty fair for what you’re getting. The sweater I purchased had a very minor flaw, which was why it was discounted, but I only paid $35 US, which is quite a good price for a proper sweater.

I’m wearing it here with a skirt I scored from a clothing swap. It’s a lovely cropped sweater that looks great tucked or untucked. I absolutely love the puff sleeves and the pearl details over the ribbing. The sweater is snug and zips up in the back. They just don’t make them like this anymore.

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A post shared by Rebecca Jones-Howe (@rebeccajoneshowe) on Dec 8, 2019 at 3:07pm PST

Innersinn Vintage

Run by Kate out of Toronto, Ontario, Innersinn Vintage operates exclusively via Instagram. This format of purchasing things online was a bit new to me, but then I found an amazing 80’s blouse that I had to have (featured below), and I DM’d Kate and went through the process of purchasing via e-transfer. Honestly, it’s simple and very personal but there’s something I really appreciate about that kind of transaction.

For one, the payments go directly to the shop owner, which is great because there is no massive third-party corporation getting any of the funds. Second, I like getting to know people. Millennials tend to avoid face to face conversation with strangers, but the Internet can prove to create community between people who have never met and I quite enjoyed the conversation I had with Kate about the online vintage community.

Innersinn specializes in very romantic 50’s-looking pieces. The boutique carries a TON of wool skirts that my Sylvia Plath heart would buy if you’d all just support my Patreon. I definitely appreciate it’s balance of both statement and essential pieces.

Below I’m wearing my AMAZING massive-collar cream blouse paired with some modern pieces in my wardrobe. I love the looks you can achieve when mixing one old-time-y piece with modern elements. It adds a lot of texture and dimension to an outfit.

I can’t wait to pair it with some of my sleeveless dresses because this collar is the perfect size for visual impact. They honestly don’t make clothes like this anymore and this is one of the absolutely best things about buying vintage.

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A post shared by Rebecca Jones-Howe (@rebeccajoneshowe) on Jan 12, 2020 at 3:58pm PST

Flying Apple Vintage

If you’re looking for CLASSIC vintage pieces, well, this is your haven. Based in ??????, Flying Apple carries everything that your retro heart could ever desire. I found their shop on a whim and I couldn’t browse through their selections without adding a batch of items to my online cart.

Their shop is the most advanced of all the ones I’ve listed, giving you the ability to search via size, era, or for specific items, such as tops or dresses, etc. The only major qualm I have is that they use UPS as their courier service and I hate UPS with a flaming passion. You can also purchase via Etsy, so I’m not sure if their Etsy shipping is different than through their official store. Next time I buy from them I will be sure to let you know.

Below is the ridiculously unique 70’s dress that I HAD TO HAVE when I browsed their shop. It was about $90 US, which honestly isn’t much for a dress this amazing. It’s definitely not practical but the sizing pretty much suited my body type perfectly and there’s no way you can’t let that kind of piece go.

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A post shared by Rebecca Jones-Howe (@rebeccajoneshowe) on Dec 15, 2019 at 2:35pm PST

Do You Buy from Vintage Boutiques?

Would you consider it? Why or why not? At one point in time I found the pieces too expensive, but again, with a boutique you’re paying for curation. Boutique owners also launder the items, deal with stains, etc. They’re thrifted items but it’s not shopping thrift, browsing through endless racks full of soiled two-year-old Wal-Mart clothes.

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MOODBOARD: “Modern Ruins” Short Story

Okay, so I wrote a short story for January, and then January came. I got paranoid. I tried to write a new story but my ideal stalled. Then I started a second story and the plot caught on and I managed to finish it within two drafts. If I can keep this up, we’ll be in amazing shape for the upcoming year, though I have addressed some of my woes in my last blog post. You came here for a moodboard, though, so let’s talk about “Modern Ruins”.

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Inspiration

I’ve been on an urbex binge. I mean, I have been since summer but it’s made a comeback, specifically in the form of dead malls. The topic of changing retail has a real cult following online and I will admit that I’ve definitely found a home. I get this weird kind of delight when the latest franchise decides to close all its locations. It’s witnessing a part of history.

But, of course, when an abandoned mall gets torn down, an Amazon fulfillment centre pretty much takes its place, and there’s a sad reality in that, specifically with Rolling Acres Mall in Akron, Ohio:

I did mention this mall in a previous (Patron only) post. My city doesn’t have a mall nearly this large, but as a 90’s kid I do have fond memories growing up in those “last hurrah” days before the economy slowed and online shopping saw its rise.

I did mention this video in my recent Patron-exclusive post, but I’ll share it here for the rest of you. This is another video fo Rolling Acres Mall in its abandoned state, shortly before Amazon purchased and demolished the site to build a fulfillment centre. I find this video very unsettling to watch, as most “urbex” videoscan be. The idea of a space modern made for being sitting derelict is an odd one, and it’s that feeling that inspired “Modern Ruins”.

Personal Stuff

I mentioned in my CANDID UPDATE post a few of the things I’ve been dealing with. Those issues found their way into my writing this month and I have found it cathartic.

Modern parenting and life in general proved tough more often than not. Between endless work and preparing dinner and taking care of the kids there’s little time for breaks. Essentially that is what Modern Ruins is about, is thinking back nostalgically to when life was easier. Simpler. When the romance of life actually felt like a thing instead of a bullshit Instagram photo laden with hardcore presets.

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I did, however, frame this story form a man’s perspective, which I do enjoy doing from time to time. Sure, it’s very feminist of me but I do think it’s important to recognize some of the issue that the opposite sex deals with. “Modern Ruins” is quite similar to another male-driven story in Vile Men, “Slippery Slopes”, only this one’s less criminal and features some subtle gothic horror touches.

Local Flair

So, obviously a good part of “Modern Ruins” centers around a dead mall. In my case I took a local mall in my city, Sahali Mall. It’s a small mall with only two anchor stores. Back in 2014 when target made an attempt to invade the Canadian market, we had a Target in one of the mall’s two main anchor stores. The inside of the mall has a few local-based businesses and a pub, but that’s about it.

The mall struggled when Target left, but managed subdivided the massive Target location, which now houses a Planet Fitness, Value Village, and a trampoline park. The Safeway grocery chain occupying the second anchor was recently bought out by FreshCo.

I remember working Christmas gift wrap tables there back in the mid to late 90’s when the mall was relatively busy. It was never my favourite local mall, though it was the only one in town with a fountain. The fountain was removed sometime in the aughts, which always made me really sad for some reason. “Modern Ruins” features the mall, renamed “Sahali Summit Mall” in an abandoned state with the two anchor stores intact.

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It was a lot of fun playing with reality. Most of my stories take place in Kamloops and I do make an attempt to keep things accurate. With “Modern Ruins”, however, I had to set the story before Target closed its Canadian stores. The story mentions the Rolling Acres Mall (demolished in 2017) and its rebirth via Amazon (in 2019), so I confess that I played with the timelines a little.

Why? Because I set the damn story during Valentine’s Day, and without Target the protagonist wouldn’t have anywhere else to get his wife a card.

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You wanna Read?

I wrote this story in just over a week and I’m really excited about it. Of course I had to make it Valentine’s Day-themed but there’s no real romance or cheese. This year I’m really trying to integrate more touches of horror to my work and “Modern Ruins” definitely caters to a includes a bit of horror within a literary bent.

You can access “Modern Ruins” on February 1st via my Patreon at the $5 short story tier. (My first exclusive story, “Hostages” is already available!) I’ll be writing a story a month for the entirety of 2020. I’m thankful for those who’ve supported me already and I hope you’ll consider joining if you haven’t already.

Many writers have successfully managed to earn a a side or full income through Patreon and I hope to do the same. My goal at this point is to earn enough money to cut my full-time job down to part time. By doing so, it’ll be easier for me to juggle raising my kid with my writing.

“Making it” as a writer is a lofty goal. It warms my heart when people tell me that my work has moved them. I love getting comments and emails. If you love my work and want to read what I’m putting my heart into this year, please consider joining. At $5 bucks a month, it’d be like you treating me to a Starbucks Americano and also getting my daughter a cake pop.

A little bit goes a long way.

Lastly, I want to thank Emily and Jeff for being my first two Patrons who joined immediately after my Patreon launched. Your support is immensely appreciated and means the world to me. I really hope you enjoyed “Hostages” because I’ve got a lot more where that story came from.

IMAGE CREDITS

The post MOODBOARD: “Modern Ruins” Short Story appeared first on REBECCAJONESHOWE.COM.

3 Simple Ways to Stay Motivated while Writing your WIP

It’s so easy to dream up a story, identify that inciting moment, mold the characters, weave together a plot. Bam, you’ve got yourself a new “WIP”. But the writing part? The best way to get your story written is to hunker down and write it, but how does one do that, exactly? Motivation is a tricky beast, and I’ve got 3 simple ways to stay motivated while writing your WIP.

Make a Playlist

I know I’ve mentioned this in a previous post on a similar topic, but it’s a tactic that I now swear by. Playlists have been a holy grail for me. At first they were a fun addition I’d make for myself but they quickly became a tactic I realied on to stay grounded with my work (specifically when I was in transit to work and back, not working on my story).

Honestly, though, there’s something great about picking a mood, a sound, and combing through my music library for songs that give the story some veins and blood and emotion.

The first week of this month, I really struggled with the first draft for my new Patreon story. At first I didn’t have an idea. I struggled with concepts. I managed to slam down a couple of paragraphs the next night, but I went to bed feel unfulfilled.

The next night, after putting the kids to bed, I plopped in front of the computer without any ambition to write. Instead I spent a bulk of the night searching for songs that evoked that “dead mall feeling” that I wanted to evoke in my story. And, well, what felt like two hours of wasted time actually benefited me the following night. I churned out a handful of scenes that formed themselves into a first draft, which I printed out the next morning.

I’ve honestly no idea when I last wrote a story that quickly. And I’ve finished a second draft that’s pretty much solid gold and ready to go for February. It takes place around Valentine’s Day and features a dead mall and is sort of about that that millennial fear of getting older. (Hit up my Patreon if you’re interested in reading when it drops.)

Do More Research

Every story you write needs a little research. Even if you’re “writing what you know”.

Even if you think you’ve researched enough, go back and do more. Said research doesn’t even need to make an appearance in the story. You don’t have to prove your research. Good research should ground you in your story. Good research should help you stay motivated while writing your story.

My favourite place to do research is YouTube because it has everything. People share all sorts of stuff. You can sit back and make a bag of popcorn and enjoy your so-called “writing time”.

I particularly enjoyed my research for this story because it revolved mainly around dead malls. Just type the term into YouTube and you’ll fall down the same wormhole I did last summer. In particular is this video of the Rolling Acres Mall that I watched over several times. Specific details did find their way into my story, too.

Make sure you check out the rest of the videos in Dan Bell’s “Dead Mall Series“. It’s niche Youtube at its best.

You never know what you’ll pick up, even if you watch a video several times over. Go ahead and wander, explore, learn! There’s a massive wealth of knowledge (and a potential new story lead!) online and you’ve got nothing but time, my friend!

Create a Moodboard

Plenty of designers use moodboards to convey a theme or look to clients. As a writer, you can utilize the power of the moodboard as well. Sure, writers work with words, but visuals always help. I mean, we all fantasize what your novel covers will look like, right?

Visual components always draw people in. That’s why I started making what I called “sexy hipster graphics” back in the day. They ultimately became useful for my “Vile Men promo cards, which I didn’t hand out and still have an abundance of. Moodboards? Well, if you’re facing a block with WIP, then making one can help you stay motivated while writing.

[image error]A moodboard for an unfinished WIP from when I first attempted writing horror. This was one of my very fist moodboards and every time I look at it I still wanna go back and finish this damn story.

I use Photoshop and these free templates for my moodboard. Gimpshop is a free Photoshop alternative, though I’m aware that it has a bit of a learning curb that varies from the Photoshop experience. There are plenty of collage apps online too, yet those apps can be limited if you’re as nit-picky about graphics as I am. Type ‘free moodboard maker‘ into Google and plenty of options will come up. I can’t verify as to the quality, flexibility or freedom of these apps, but if you’re truly stuck with your work, why not take a few apps for a test drive?

I get my images from Unsplash and Pixabay, but there are plenty of free stock photo sites out there. Typically I’ll play with the exposure, contrast, levels and other such adjustments in order to get the images to convey the same mood.

The key to a good moodboard is including a variety of images. I like to have a couple images that focus on details pertaining to the story, plus a couple of “texture” images. Usually I’ll include one image of any protagonist without focusing too much on their faces. I prefer to leave those details for the reader to imagine.

Lastly, to convey that the moodboard is about a story, I’ll take one quote from my WIP to feature over one of the “texture” images. Boom. You’ve made a graphic a part of your writing process. Be inspired.

So, are you motivated?

Well, these three tips should help you stay motivated while writing. They usually work for me, and in fact, I’m planning on utilizing them with the stalled piece I mentioned yesterday.

The post 3 Simple Ways to Stay Motivated while Writing your WIP appeared first on REBECCAJONESHOWE.COM.

3 simple Ways to Stay Motivated while Writing your WIP

It’s so easy to dream up a story, identify that inciting moment, mold the characters, weave together a plot. Bam, you’ve got yourself a new “WIP”. But the writing part? The best way to get your story written is to hunker down and write it, but how does one do that, exactly? Motivation is a tricky beast, and I’ve got 3 simple ways to stay motivated while writing your WIP.

Make a Playlist

I know I’ve mentioned this in a previous post on a similar topic, but it’s a tactic that I now swear by. Playlists have been a holy grail for me. At first they were a fun addition I’d make for myself but they quickly became a tactic I realied on to stay grounded with my work (specifically when I was in transit to work and back, not working on my story).

Honestly, though, there’s something great about picking a mood, a sound, and combing through my music library for songs that give the story some veins and blood and emotion.

The first week of this month, I really struggled with the first draft for my new Patreon story. At first I didn’t have an idea. I struggled with concepts. I managed to slam down a couple of paragraphs the next night, but I went to bed feel unfulfilled.

The next night, after putting the kids to bed, I plopped in front of the computer without any ambition to write. Instead I spent a bulk of the night searching for songs that evoked that “dead mall feeling” that I wanted to evoke in my story. And, well, what felt like two hours of wasted time actually benefited me the following night. I churned out a handful of scenes that formed themselves into a first draft, which I printed out the next morning.

I’ve honestly no idea when I last wrote a story that quickly. And I’ve finished a second draft that’s pretty much solid gold and ready to go for February. It takes place around Valentine’s Day and features a dead mall and is sort of about that that millennial fear of getting older. (Hit up my Patreon if you’re interested in reading when it drops.)

Do More Research

Every story you write needs a little research. Even if you’re “writing what you know”.

Even if you think you’ve researched enough, go back and do more. Said research doesn’t even need to make an appearance in the story. You don’t have to prove your research. Good research should ground you in your story. Good research should help you stay motivated while writing your story.

My favourite place to do research is YouTube because it has everything. People share all sorts of stuff. You can sit back and make a bag of popcorn and enjoy your so-called “writing time”.

I particularly enjoyed my research for this story because it revolved mainly around dead malls. Just type the term into YouTube and you’ll fall down the same wormhole I did last summer. In particular is this video of the Rolling Acres Mall that I watched over several times. Specific details did find their way into my story, too.

Make sure you check out the rest of the videos in Dan Bell’s “Dead Mall Series“. It’s niche Youtube at its best.

You never know what you’ll pick up, even if you watch a video several times over. Go ahead and wander, explore, learn! There’s a massive wealth of knowledge (and a potential new story lead!) online and you’ve got nothing but time, my friend!

Create a Moodboard

Plenty of designers use moodboards to convey a theme or look to clients. As a writer, you can utilize the power of the moodboard as well. Sure, writers work with words, but visuals always help. I mean, we all fantasize what your novel covers will look like, right?

Visual components always draw people in. That’s why I started making what I called “sexy hipster graphics” back in the day. They ultimately became useful for my “Vile Men promo cards, which I didn’t hand out and still have an abundance of. Moodboards? Well, if you’re facing a block with WIP, then making one can help you stay motivated while writing.

[image error]A moodboard for an unfinished WIP from when I first attempted writing horror. This was one of my very fist moodboards and every time I look at it I still wanna go back and finish this damn story.

I use Photoshop and these free templates for my moodboard. Gimpshop is a free Photoshop alternative, though I’m aware that it has a bit of a learning curb that varies from the Photoshop experience. There are plenty of collage apps online too, yet those apps can be limited if you’re as nit-picky about graphics as I am. Type ‘free moodboard maker‘ into Google and plenty of options will come up. I can’t verify as to the quality, flexibility or freedom of these apps, but if you’re truly stuck with your work, why not take a few apps for a test drive?

I get my images from Unsplash and Pixabay, but there are plenty of free stock photo sites out there. Typically I’ll play with the exposure, contrast, levels and other such adjustments in order to get the images to convey the same mood.

The key to a good moodboard is including a variety of images. I like to have a couple images that focus on details pertaining to the story, plus a couple of “texture” images. Usually I’ll include one image of any protagonist without focusing too much on their faces. I prefer to leave those details for the reader to imagine.

Lastly, to convey that the moodboard is about a story, I’ll take one quote from my WIP to feature over one of the “texture” images. Boom. You’ve made a graphic a part of your writing process. Be inspired.

So, are you motivated?

Well, these three tips should help you stay motivated while writing. They usually work for me, and in fact, I’m planning on utilizing them with the stalled piece I mentioned yesterday.

The post 3 simple Ways to Stay Motivated while Writing your WIP appeared first on REBECCAJONESHOWE.COM.

CANDID UPDATE: Current WIP, Mom Life, Writer Woes, Anxiety

To view this content, you must be a member of Rebecca's Patreon at $0.01 or more - Click "Read more" to unlock this content at the source

The post CANDID UPDATE: Current WIP, Mom Life, Writer Woes, Anxiety appeared first on REBECCAJONESHOWE.COM.

UPDATE: Mailing List issue Fixed

This post is just a quick heads up to anyone to attempted to join my mailing list after the the website relaunched. In my hastiness, I forgot to setup the optin widget have my form set up correctly. I noticed my gaffe and have corrected the error!

If you signed up and have yet to receive the welcome newsletter (which features a picture of me eating SPAM), then please sign up again below!

Join the RJH Mailing List (again!)

I do apologize for this n00b mistake and I’ll be back to blogging legit author shit soon!

The post UPDATE: Mailing List issue Fixed appeared first on REBECCAJONESHOWE.COM.

DARKEST HOUR – A “Grown-Ass” V.C. Andrews Review

Finally, we’re here at the end of the V.C. Andrews Cutler series. Let’s review Darkest Hour. We’ve endured the hardships of Dawn Cutler, forced ourselves to watch the curse continue with her daughter, Christie, and now we’re going back to the source of it all with Grandmother Cutler. Or rather, Lillian Booth. Yes, let’s revisit the horrible Grandmother Cutler in her V.C. Andrews protagonist days, shall we?

GROWING UP ON THE THRIVING PLANTATION CALLED THE MEADOWS, LILLIAN BOOTH CHERISHES THE BRIGHTEST, HAPPIEST DREAMS. . .

Lillian’s world is full of grand parties, of sunshine and promises, as thrilling as the fairy tales Mama spins for her and her little sister, Eugenia. Non one, not even her cold, stern Papa and her Bible-spouting sister Emily, can crush her spirits — until the day Emily reveals the shattering secret of Lillian’s birth, a secret Mama sadly cannot deny. Still Lillian refuses to believe Emily’s hateful claim that she is evil, a curse . . . even when sweet, gentle Eugenia loses her fragile hold on life, and Mama retreats further into her fantasies.

But when tragedy befalls her best friend, the one boy whose tender heart mirrors her own, Lillian comes to believe Emily’s grim words. Meekly, she endures her penance, finding a strange solace in the endless repetition of prayers in a room stripped of all comforts. Lillian’s heart is torn anew when, in a drunken haze, Papa subjects her to the most brutal degradation.

Then Papa loses the Meadows in a card game, and Lillian is faced with a new and terrifying prospect. Arrogant, handsome playboy Bill Cutler will return the plantation — if Lillian will marry him! Now Lillian must leave her girlhood home behind, and make a bold new beginning as the mistress of a hotel called Cutler’s Cove . . .

NOTE: The back cover blurb is literally ONE PARAGRAPH. Normally I don’t alter the text, but this was a great abhorrence that I refused to let stand.

About Darkest Hour

As with most 5th books in a V.C. Andrews series’, Darkest Hour is a prequel. These prequels are often pointless because they delve deep into revelations we’ve already experienced the shock of in previous books in the series. I guess they’re supposed to shed light on previous characters, but seeing that Grandmother Cutler was such a villain before, it’s odd to see her in this “innocent” light.

Lillian is NOT Grandmother Cutler and I fail to see how Lillian could become Grandmother Cutler, even with the events that take place.

Dawn and its subsequent books take place sometime in the 1980’s. We never learn of Grandmother Cutler’s actual age, but let’s just say she’s in her 70’s. Darkest Hour starts when Lillian is 4 years old. A little subtraction would lead this book to take place somewhere in the 1910’s – 1920’s.

The family uses horse-drawn carriages and the estate is beginning to suffer problems as a result of the Civil War. I’m a big sucker for anything turn of the century, so I was quite excited for this book.

My Copy

I purchased this copy from the same bookstore as the previous four books in the series. It’s in what I could consider “very good” condition. One crease runs along the spine. The top corners have sustained a bit of wear, but the bottom ones have managed to survive previous readings. Pages remain crisp and white.

I quite like the cover of this book. The keyhole is of the standard “protagonist’s face in the moon” variety. The tree stands ominous in the foreground. The colours of the moody sunset make this cover very eye-catching. Honestly, any V.C. Andrews book that features bare trees gets a thumbs-up from me. Gothic vibes created!

What I must take issues with, however, is the damn stepback picture:

[image error]

This book takes place in the 1910s, so why in hell is Lillian wearing an 80s monstrosity of a floofy dress?! Look at those MASSIVE earrings on Georgia! Look at that ridiculous matching necklace! What’s with those massive princess skirts and giant balloon sleeves!

The only period appropriate pieces in this picture are Eugenia’s wheelchair and possibly Emily’s dress, though I’m not sure if the peter-pan collar is accurate o the period. I’m pretty sure that casual dress collars went right up the neck. One could argue that Jed’s outfit fits, but that bow and jacket look a bit too streamline for look like a turn of the century suit. The jacket collar appears too low. Oh yeah, and men (especially wealthy ones) went to the barber religiously.

Like, I’m not a fashion student of any sort, but I’ve watched enough shows from that time period to know historical inaccuracies when I see them. Those hairstyles are quite Back to the Future-inspired for the Edwardian era.

The Review

To be honest, by this point in the Cutler series, I was about ready to be done. The formula gets exhausting. Three books with the main protagonist? Then one poorly-written book with the protagonist’s spawn? Then we have to go back in time and live through revelations we’ve already experienced lackluster shock from? By this point I was about ready to go back to my daily life listening to how climate change is going to kill us all.

But on I suffered!

An Innocent & Pretty, Yet Completely Naive Female Protagonist

Now, we all remember Grandmother Cutler from Dawn. Horrible. Insistent. Fodder for the whole “OK, BOOMER” trend. In Darkest Hour, we meet Lillian Booth at the age of 4:

In Mamma’s mind, I would eventually go to a fine finishing school, just like she did, and when the time was right, I would be introduced to fine society, and some handsome, wealthy, young southern aristocrat would begin to court me and eventually come calling on Papa with a request for my hand. We’d have a big, elaborate wedding at The Meadows and I would go off, waving from the back of the carriage, to live happily ever after.

My daughter is four. She does not speak like this. You could argue that this is Lillian speaking as an adult about her 3-year old experience, but even I don’t speak of my 4 year-old self this way.

This is the problem I have with Andrews’ protagonists when the books start them off this young. This book could have started with Lillian as a teenager like other Andrews tales. Nevertheless, we have to endure a quarter of his novel featuring scenes of Lillian being tormented by her older sister, Emily.

Also, Lillian learns that her mother isn’t actually her mother, but Momma’s sister, Violet, who tries to marry for love and ended up pregnant and, obviously, dead form childbirth.

A Tragic Death

Much of Lillian’s more pleasant earlier memories take place with her younger sister, Eugenia, who is confined to a wheelchair due to her cystic fibrosis. Eugenia lives most of her life vicariously through Lillian’s days at school, and though her growing infatuation with her friend Niles.

As Lillian ages, she ventures out alone with Niles to his “magic pond”. Niles insists that the pond is magic because when you make a wish in front of it, the wish will come true. They end up sharing their first kiss at this magic pond. After enough stories about the pond’s magic, Eugenia begs to see it, so Lillian creates an elaborate plan to take her little sister there.

Unfortunately, Emily soon catches wind of their excursions plays a bunch of horrible pranks on Lillian to prevent her from taking Eugenia out committing sins. Still, Lillian can’t help herself. She and Niles take their budding sexuality a bit further. Lots of hardcore breast action takes place:

I saw his eyes drink in my bosom and when I closed my eyes, I envisioned his hands on my breasts. Right now, his right hand rested on my side. Slowly, I lowered my left hand to his wrist and then brought his hand up until his fingers grazed my breast. He resisted at first. I heard him take a deep breath, but I couldn’t stop. I pressed his palm to my breast and then brought my lips to his. His fingers moved until they settled over the nipple of my breast and I moaned.

Not as much breast as that scene from Honey, but it’s enough brast action to send Lillian into a spiral of moral paranoia. She runs home and find’s the doctor’s carriage in front of the estate house. Eugenia gets smallpox and you know what Lillian does to try to save her?

I’ve got to tell you all about what happened to me at school today and what Niles Thompson did to defend me. You want to hear that, don’t you? Don’t you, Eugenia? And guess what?” I whispered, leaning toward her. “He and I went to the magic pond again. Yes, we did. And we kissed and kissed. You want to hear all about it, don’t you, Eugenia? Don’t you?”

Eugenia’s response:

A Hostile Maternal Figure (+ Bonus Mean Girl!)

Lillian’s mother, Georgia isn’t so much a hostile figure as she is a hopeless romantic. Georgia switches from seeming like a caring mother to a self-obsessed and vain mother obsessed with hosting fancy parties. Then Eugenia dies and Georgia takes that classic Cutler tailspin into crazy-town.

Georgia stays in her room and rufuses to open the blinds. She gains weight (a classic V.C. Andrews trope to indicate one’s downfall) and loses her facial glow. Lillian grows concerned and attempts to get her father, Jed, and her sister Emily to help but both of them insist that Georgia should have prayed more.

Eventually Lillian attempts to confront her mother directly, only to find her sitting before her vanity, brushing her hair in a daze. Georgia then mistakes Lillian for her bio-mom, Violet:

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. I hate my marriage; I’ve hated it from the beginning. Those wails you heard coming from my room the night before my wedding were wails of agony. “

Georgia confesses the tragic reality of her arranged marriage to Jed Booth, along with her yearning for what Violet had with Lillian’s real father, Aaron. Georgia slips spends the rest of her days locked away in hallucination.

I struggle a lot with Georgia because she’s a wonderful tragic character, but the book pretty much just utilizes her for a plot-convenient death, which we’ll get to in a moment.

In the meantime, let’s take a moment to address Emily, who we all loved to hate in Secrets of the Morning:

I mean, that’s pretty much it. She does do some pretty heinous stuff for the sake of proving to Lillian that she’s a horrible evil no good very bad sinner. Examples:

Drowning Lillian’s cat Cotton when Lillian and Eugenia get too obsessed with it. Hides Eugenia’s wheelchair in a barn with a skunk, so that Lillian gets sprayed with the skunk and has to get all her hair chopped off.Discovers Lillian walking out of the woods with Niles and goes and rats her out for being a total JEZEBEL to Papa.

Which leads us to…

A Beloved Doting Paternal Figure

There is no “Daddy” in this book. It’s far from that. Jed Booth is your standard asshole dad who insists on being called Captain even though he never joined the military. White male privilege at its best. He runs The Meadows in a domineering manner, losing his temper whenever he sees fit.

He also eats obnoxiously. And he always shouts “God’s teeth!” when he’s frustrated, which is a phrase I’ve never heard before. Is that a real thing? Like a real phrase people used to say?

So yeah, Emily tells Jed that Lillian’s been whoring it up. Papa finally steps in, but instead of being fatherly, he goes full perv-mode and feels a teenage Lillian up in her bedroom. It’s an uncomfortable scene that I refused to bookmark which is fine because there’s much more nastiness to come.

One night, Niles climbs into Lillian’s bedroom window and the two engage in some PG-13 loving.

Lillian and Niles manage to stop themselves from going all the way, and Niles leaves in the night by climbing down the house’s drainpipe. Then the next morning, (of course!) Niles is found dead with a broken neck. Jed becomes furious with Lillian and has a doctor come in to check her hymen to see if she actually boned Niles or not.

In light of this plot point, and in light of recent celebrity news, please allow me to make one quick public service announcement:

AN INTACT HYMEN DOES NOT MEAN A WOMAN IS A VIRGIN.

WOMEN CAN BREAK THEIR HYMENS BY DOING THINGS OTHER THAN HAVING SEX, SUCH AS RIDING A BIKE.

SOME WOMEN NEVER BREAK THEIR HYMENS.

AN INTACT HYMEN IS NOT A SIGN OF VIRGINITY.

Incest!

As The Meadows proceeds to lose money and staff is let go, Jed progresses quickly into alcoholism. One night he falls down the stairs and breaks his leg. Bound to his bed, he insists that Lillian assist him in his daily routines. Sure, she does a great job balancing the books, but he also makes her change him and give him sponge baths.

One night, Jed gets cold, so instead of asking for another blanket, he asks Lillian to get into the bed with him, and then we all know what happens next. Emily gets pregnant from this encounter, and of course, Jed refuses to take the blame:

“Why am I shouting? She’s pregnant with that dead boy’s baby. That’s why,” he said quickly.

“It’s not true, Emily. It wasn’t Niles,” I said.

“Shut up,” Emily said. “Of course it was Niles. You had him in your room and you did a sinful thing. Now you’re going to suffer for it.”

“There’s no reason to let anyone else know,” Papa said. “We’ll keep her hidden until afterward.”

“Then what will you do, Papa? What about the baby?”

“The baby . . . the baby . . . “

“It’ll be Mama’s baby,” Emily said quickly.

Lillian ends up confined to her room under threat of horsewhipping, even though every time she acts out she’s never reprimanded more than being forced to read a bunch of Bible verses. There’s little I remember of this portion of the book, up until the part when Lillian pretty much says “SCREW THIS”and escapes the house to visit the stupid magic pond again.

By this point, Lillian’s sporting a 7-month pregnancy belly and can’t make it all the way there, or all the way back. She flounders and collapses and drags herself as close as she can back to The Meadows. Then, just like Dawn, she gives birth to a preemie baby TWO MONTHS EARLY that somehow survives without any medical intervention.

A Rags to Riches Plot

Baby Charlotte is born to the world and passed around from woman to woman in the household. Lillian fails to have a decent bonding moment in the story, but she claims to love her daughter and blah blah blah. Once again, like Dawn, she fails to deal with any real postpartum issues at all. Then Georgia dies and Jed goes further into his drinking.

He begins having poker games and one night wages the entire estate to a man named Bill Cutler. Bill ultimately wins. Bill is also a gross perv who takes an eye to Lillian, and in a desperate attempt to save the only thing he has left, Jed trades the estate for Lillian’s hand in marriage.

Fantastic Psychological Horror

I quite like this plot development because it takes things full circle with Lillian having to live the exact same life that her adopted mother Georgia did. By this point in the book, Lillian’s pretty much down with the idea that she’s cursed for life. Her only worry is not being able to take Charlotte with her and she makes one last-ditch attempt to get Jed to do the right damn thing:

“I want Charlotte.” I want to be able to take her with me when I go,” I said.

“Charlotte? Take the baby?” He thought for a moment, his eyes fixing on the rain-washed windows. For a moment he was really considering it. My hopes began to soar. Papa had no real love for Charlotte. If he could get her of too . . . then he shook his head and turned back to me. “I can’t do that, Lillian. She’s my child. I can’t go giving up my child. What would people think?”

He promises that maybe Charlotte will get to spend more time with Lillian “in time”, and that’s pretty much the extent of Lillian’s protest for HER OWN CHILD. She’s totally fine with leaving HER OWN CHILD in that house of horrors.

So I suppose in a way, that’s some fantastic psychological horror, but I don’t think it’s the kind of psychological horror that Neiderman was going for.

In the end, Lillian marries and lives a loveless marriage with Bill Cutler at Cutler’s Cove. Bill Cutler ends up being quite the dud and so Lillian takes over the books and the management and pretty much everything else. She’s happy. She’s home. And there’s no sign of her turning into the horrible woman she’s manifested to by the time Dawn comes around.

A Vivid Gothic Setting

I dunno, we get to spend more time at The Meadows in the tail end of its glory days, which is cool, but the estate really isn’t much of a character in this book as it was in previous ones.

Some Good Olde School Misogyny

Lillian hits puberty at a young age (though it’s not explained what age, specifically). Of course, the first period scene is a grand moment of absolute horror, unlike the experience that most girls have with their first period. Cramps and blood and much sobbing occurs.

Then, of course, Georgia gives Lillian “the talk” and of course, it’s the wrong damn talk:

The changes in me that followed were a great deal more subtle. My bosom continued to sprout a little bit at a time until Mamma remarked one day that I had cleavage.

“That little dark space between our breasts,” she told me in a whisper, “fascinates menfolk.”

She went on to tell me about a female character in one of her books who deliberately sought out ways to reveal and make the most of it. She wore undergarments that would life and squeeze her breasts, “making them bulge and their cleavages deepen.” The very thought of such a thing made my heart pound.

“The men talked about her behind her back and called her a tease,” Mamma said. “You have to be careful from now on, Lillian, that you don’t do anything to lead men to believe you’re anything like that sort. Those are loose women who never win the respect of a decent man.”

None of this ultimately matters because Jed rapes Lillian and then Bill Cutler stalks her though the Meadows when she’s walking around with a baby of all things.

He stepped closer to me, so close I felt his breath on the back of my neck. “You do a lot around here, I bet, don’t you?”

“I do my chores,” I said, reaching down to give the baby one of her toys. I didn’t want to look at Bill Cutler. I was uncomfortable under such male scrutiny. When Bill Cutler gazed at me, he gazed at all of me, his eyes traveling up and down my body every time he spoke. I felt just like one of the slave girls must have felt on the auction block.

Gah! Ugh!

Some Really Bad Writing

I feel like I’m growing a little blind to the excessive paragraphs of melodrama. Lillian’s angst doesn’t resonate quite as effectively as Dawn’s did. Still, there a moments here and there when Lillian goes into a spiral of mind-pity.

We’re all being tested, I concluded. Deep in my heart, buried under mountains of pretend and illusion, was the realization that the biggest test of all was just ahead. It was always there, lingering over The Meadows like a dark cloud that was oblivious to the wind or to prayers. It hovered, waiting until its time came.

And then it released the rain of sadness over us, the drops so cold they were to chill my heart forever and ever.

Rain and cloud references frequent this novel. It’s a pretty standard reference in plenty V.C. Andrews books, but I particularly noticed them in this one. Here’s another cloud one:

I lowered my head and with a heart so heavy it made my steps ponderous, I headed toward the house. When I looked up, I saw that a long, heavy cloud had slipped over the sun and dropped a veil of gray over the great building, making all the windows look dark and empty, all except one window, the window of Emily’s room. In it she stood gazing down at me, her long white face casting a look of displeasure.

Another quirk that bugged me about this book was Niles’ stupid magic pond. At first it’s kind of cute. H takes Lillian there and tells her to make a wish and dip her fingers in. Simple. Easy. Then he gets all smarmy and manipulative, making up new rules about the pond every time they go there. IN this scene, he uses the magic pond to fix Lillian’s chopped-off skunk hair:

“Go on, close your eyes,” he urged. I did so and smile at the same time. I hadn’t smiled for days. I felt the drops sink through my shortened strands and touch my scalp and then, quite unexpectedly, I felt Niles’s lips touch mine. My eyes snapped open with surprise.

“That’s one of the rules,” he said quickly. “Whoever puts the water on you, has to seal the wish with a kiss.”

First, “Niles’s” is an actual typo in the book.

Second, Niles is a manipulative little turd and I’m glad he’s dead because if he had the chance to grow up, he’d be coaxing insecure girls to bone him in college.

My Final Thoughts

To be honest, I failed to retain much of this book. It’s hard caring about characters you hated originally. It’s hard forcing one’s self to commit to a new novel that I know will be lackluster. It’s the main problem with prequels, is knowing everything already. Some awful rape occurs and it’s difficult to really feel it justified when Lillian simply shrugs it off instead of really working through it.

My main qualm was a bulk of the plot focusing solely on Lillian’s life at The Meadows. I’d have preferred to see more of Lillian’s life after marrying Bill Cutler and growing into the woman she becomes by Dawn. I wanted to see her become a villain, not a typical V.C. Andrews character who we have to somehow fill the gaps with by novel’s end.

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