Colin Wright's Blog, page 17

Control

There’s a concept in psychology, locus of control, that refers to the degree of control we believe we have over our lives.

The theory is that some of us see the world as a whirling mass of unknowable, external forces over which we have little or no influence, while others are more likely to perceive things as being within reach and manipulatable—we can pull levers, shift stones, build stuff, and reorganize things.

Most of us exist somewhere in between these two extremes, neither feeling...

Resolutions

At some point amidst the hubbub of the next few weeks, muffled by the cacophony of marketing messages, social pressures, and self-imposed constrictions, limitations, pressures, and anxieties: reclaim a few minutes to stop, take a few long, slow, deep breaths, and just sit with the moment.

Reflect on where you are, how you got there, and the many massive and minuscule positive aspects of the life you’re living. Think about the tiny pleasures and the wonderful people you’ve known.

Consider that...

Notes to Self

I keep a little file on my computer where I write notes to myself about things I’ll likely need to be reminded of at some point.

I check these notes any time I’m feeling unmotivated, psychologically down, physically sluggish, or in some other way not like myself.

The list is ever-evolving, but here’s what’s on it right now:

You feel better when you drink water regularly throughout the day.

You feel better when you workout periodically throughout the day.

You feel better when you sleep for at...

I Don’t Know

There are few more powerful phrases one can utter than “I don’t know.”

Many societies disincentivize the admission of ignorance, equating it to stupidity or inability. And the more mastery we achieve, the more we’re pressured—overtly or covertly—to avoid appearing to not know something, anything, about our field (or fields) of focus.

This unfortunately tends to stifle growth and evolution. It keeps us from questioning and growing throughout our lives.

Even if we’re unable to find answers to...

Badass

I remember the moment, many years ago, when I realized I didn’t have to be a badass.

There’s a pervasive myth within the world of entrepreneurship—and within many adjacent sub-cultures—that in order to succeed, you have to be hard, have to be ruthless, have to be borderline sociopathic.

This truism is reinforced by the people we tend to celebrate, the stories we tell, and the lessons we teach both consciously and unconsciously about what “success” looks like.

For a long time, I tried to fake...

Empathy

The word “empathy” is, in its modern incarnation, typically used when we feel bad for someone or to express a sort of sympathy. We use it to convey that we recognize and feel their pain or discomfort or sorrow.

The more complex definition of the word, though, implies that we not only sympathize—feel bad for them—and we don’t only feel bad because they feel bad—a shared understanding of loss or grief—we also understand what they’re going through from their perspective. It’s imagining how the...

Habits

What we do isn’t truly who we are, but it’s a suitable stand-in for many practical purposes.

What we do is informed not just by our beliefs, biases, experiences, expectations, and other internal circuitry, it’s also informed by the structures we put into place around us.

These structures—our habits, routines, rituals, limitations—are exoskeletons that protect our soft bits and strengthen our weakest muscles. They have the potential to hoist us higher than we’d be capable of climbing, unaided, and they ca...

Self-Care

Like so many things that have gone from artisanal to industrialized, self-care, as a concept, has become a bit diluted and at times misunderstood.

A similar thing happened to cheese during WWII, when—in an attempt to fill the void left by European cheeses that were no longer arriving in suitable quantities in the US (for understandable reasons) and to ensure troops fighting overseas had sufficient dairy product in their rations—the US government made significant investments in a heavily processed type of c...

Productive

There are countless justifiable ways to respond to a less-than-ideal situation.

We can get angry. We can get anxious. We can get sad or vengeful or solution-oriented.

We can clam up or get loud. We can make a sharp, strident offense our defense. We can reinforce our walls and throw rocks from behind the parapet.

None of these options, or any of the others we might choose, consciously or unconsciously, thoughtfully or reflexively, are inherently wrong or right. They’re all different and they achieve different things.

Some of them achie...

Non-Partisan Thinking

The term “partisan” can refer equally to someone who believes in a particular ideology or cause very strongly, or someone who arms themselves and hides out forests, caves, abandoned buildings, or other tactically significant locations to take pot shots at their perceived enemy.

This etymological parallel is no mistake, as ardent support of a cause can lead to the literal or figurative militarization of belief.

Over time, our sincere convictions can become distorted into something we didn’t intend for them...