Lori Hatcher's Blog: Refresh Blog, page 77

Last words are precious

Last words are precious.

Visiting at a family member’s bedside at the end of a long illness, I watched the tender hugs, tears, laughter, and the carefully chosen words she exchanged with family members and friends in that sacred place.

There was a lot of reminiscing. “Remember when we . . .” would spark a lively skip down memory lane. Although she didn’t say much, her eyes smiled. Ours did, too, though oftentimes, when she wasn’t looking, we’d turn away to blink back tears.

There was business that needed to be taken care of. “Make sure you make my house payment. Don’t forget my check to the church. Take care of each other.”

The words I heard most often at her bedside, though, were words we don’t hear often enough. “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me? I love you.”

I’m grateful God gave us precious time to say everything that was important before we said goodbye. Not everyone has this privilege.

If someone precious to you died today, what would you wish you had said?

Would you wish you had told her how much you appreciate her? Would you regret not calling or visiting him more often? Would you yearn to ask forgiveness and make things right? Would you wish you could tell her you love her one more time?

Thankfully, we don’t have to wait for deathbed vigils to say and do the right things. Healing, reconciliation, and affirmation are just a phone call or visit away.

If there’s something you’ve left unsaid for far too long, why not do something about it today? Someday you’ll be glad you did.




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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

If Your Children Turn Out Badly, Is It Your Fault?

I recently participated in an interesting online discussion about kids, and culture, and parenting. One conscientious mom wrote, "If your children turn out badly, there's no one to blame but yourself."

I respectfully disagreed. 

My response generated quite a few grateful emails. It was evident I had struck a nerve. It made me wonder how many Christian parents are living in fear that if they don’t do everything “right,” their children are going to turn their backs on God and it will be all their fault. 

I agree that one of our best responses to the culture is to train our children in the ways of the Lord. And I also used to think that the primary responsibility for the way my children turned out was up to me. If I homeschooled them or didn’t homeschool them, sent them to youth group or didn’t send them to youth group, had devotions with them, taught them to memorize Scripture, took them to church every time the doors were open, then they’d grow up to love God. If I messed up somehow, or failed to do something important, it would be my fault if they went astray. 

When I’d see families with wayward children, I’d secretly assume (but never say aloud) that there must have been some inconsistency or failure on their part as parents. Maybe they look spiritual on the outside, I’d think, but behind closed doors, well . . . 

I’ve come to realize, however, that I was presumptuous in thinking I held the power to make my children turn out “right.” I realize that I was powerless, through the force of my will or the conscientiousness of my parenting, to compel my children to love God. 


I now know that I can till the ground and plant the seeds of faith, but only God can make them grow. By assuming the misplaced responsibility for what were, ultimately, my children’s decisions to make, and thinking that if they turned out “bad,” it was my fault, I had assumed a responsibility that wasn’t rightfully mine. 

If your children grow up to love God, it will be because of God’s mercy and grace (Gal. 1:15). If they grow up to reject him, then they alone will bear the responsibility for their choices. Your parenting can put them on the right path, but only their choices and the work of the Holy Spirit can keep them on it. Thinking it’s all up to you is assuming a burden and responsibility no parent should bear. 

I’m not saying we’re not responsible to rear our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, because we are. Deuteronomy 6 gives Christian parents very clear instructions. What I am saying is that we can do everything right (as if we can really do everything right), but the choice to follow God is, ultimately, up to our children. 

As I look back on my active, homeschooling, child rearing years, I’d still homeschool. I’d still take them to church. I’d still teach them to memorize God’s Word, and so on and so on. What I would do differently would be to pray more diligently and earnestly for God’s Holy Spirit to draw my children to himself and conform them to his image. Because this is something only God can do. 

This is my prayer for you all, as you parent your children in faith.


" . . . God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace. . ." 

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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love

I think I’ve bought ten copies of Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love over the years. I always keep one on my bookshelf, but the others I’ve given away. My husband and I first read it when we lost my brother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and my sister within eight-months time. I wish I’d known about it when my granny passed away. And now, in the days following my mother-in-law’s death, we’re reading it again.

Ironically, we’re reading the copy we gave her when she was walking through the loss of her two children.

Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love, by Raymond R. Mitsch and Lynn Brookside is a small, unassuming book that spreads a healing balm on the raw wounds of grief. Comprised of 70 daily devotions, this little book has walked us through the roller coaster of thoughts, emotions, and physical manifestations of losing loved ones.

It came highly recommended by a dear friend who had lost his young wife to spinal meningitis and had sought counsel from Raymond, a clinical counselor, in the early days of his grief. His family has given away more copies of this book than we have.

Each daily reading identifies and validates the different thoughts, emotions, and physical manifestations people experience when they’re grieving. Did you know grieving people often suffer from loss of concentration, panic attacks, and sleeplessness? Or that sometimes they feel anger toward their loved ones who have died? Did you realize it’s normal for them to suffer flashbacks of the last time they saw their loved one? Or to hear their voices or think they see them in a crowd or driving down the road?

Each short chapter talks about a different aspect of grief. Because both authors have lost loved ones, (Ray lost his father when he was 12 years old), they also share snippets of their own grieving experiences. This makes the book seem more like a conversation with an empathetic friend than a grief-counseling manual.


Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love is especially helpful for those who are suffering a significant loss for the first time. It’s also been helpful to my husband and me with every subsequent death we’ve experienced. While the process of grieving grows more familiar with every loss, each death is different, and we find different parts of the book resonating with us depending on what we’re wrestling with.

What brings us the most comfort as we work our way through this book—again—is that Ray and Lynn are Christians, and this is a Christian devotional for dealing with grief and loss. The book’s foundation is the hope-filled truths of Scripture, and their words are Spirit empowered. From the first devotion to the last, they share the basis of our hope as believers, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18:

“Brothers, we don’t want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of them, who have no hope. . . .” 

 If you’re grieving today, or you know someone who is, I highly recommend Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love.


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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Tea Parties and Worship -- Taking Your Imagination for a Walk

I recently had the pleasure of watching a tiny girl host an imaginary tea party. 

With delicate movements, she skillfully filled each invisible glass with invisible tea. She doled out invisible cookies onto invisible plates and sampled her invisible delicacies with obvious delight. She said please and thank you to invisible guests and smiled charmingly at their silent answers. Her powers of imagination were astounding for one so young, and I was delighted to be invited to the soiree.

We expect children to use their imagination, and we recognize this as a mark of intellectual growth. Grownups, however, often set their imaginations aside. We choose to concentrate on the “real” world—the things we can see and touch. We forget there is a greater world beyond us.

Today, perhaps inspired by my recent tea party hostess, I dusted off my out-of-shape imagination and took it for a walk. We were responding to an invitation that read like this:

“Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; bring an offering and come into his courts. Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth.” 

As we strolled down Psalm 96 Lane, my Host gently prompted me,

Let the heavens rejoice. 

I imagined what it might look like when the heavens rejoice.

In my mind’s eye I saw sunbeams shining from behind clouds like giant spotlights. I visualized the silent symphony of a yellow/orange sunrise dotted with black silhouettes of soaring geese. I pictured the extravagance of a setting sun painted with a hundred shades of pink and purple.

This is what it might look like when the heavens rejoice.

Let the earth be glad. 

I imagined what it feels like when the earth is glad. I suspect the sun shines warmly upon us, and the breeze blows sweet and refreshing across our faces. The fragrance of rain-dotted earth, flower-strewn paths, and rushing mountain streams fill our nostrils with sensory delights.

This is what it might feel like when the earth is glad.



Let the sea resound, and all that is in it. 

Resound means to ring with sound—loudly, boldly, extravagantly. When I picture a resounding sea, my ears echo with the noise of frothy waves breaking on rocky cliffs. I see a mammoth whale launching itself into the air in a powerful arc and crashing into the water with mighty splash. I picture pods of smiling dolphins dancing on their tales in a delicate, choreographed ballet, the air filled with their clicks, and chirps, and laughs.

This is what it might sound like when the sea resounds.

Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them. 

What might it look like when the fields and everything in them is jubilant? Jubilant means to be filled with joy, to exult in triumph and satisfaction. My mind’s eye sees miles of golden fields dipping and swaying as the wind keeps time with its wheat stalk baton. I see spotted fawns prancing and dancing with cotton-tailed bunnies. I watch as a flock of crows rise as one amidst a cacophony of flapping wings and noisy squawks. I see mighty elk rear back, tuck their heads, and connect with a crash that rattles their powerful antlers.

This is what it might look like when the fields are jubilant.

Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy. 

What might it sound like when the trees of the forest sing for joy? I picture a grove of yellow Aspen trees, their heart-shaped leaves jangling in the wind like a million topaz jewels. I see the massive redwoods bending their heads, whispering the secrets they’ve gathered over the centuries. I hear the cicadas, tree frogs, and nightingales singing us to sleep with their woodsy lullaby.

This is what it might sound like when the trees of the forest sing for joy.

“Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; bring an offering and come into his courts. Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth. (Psalm 96:8-9)

When was the last time you worshiped the Lord? If it’s been a while, why not open your Bible to Psalm 96, take your imagination by the hand, and walk through the beauty of his holiness? And if your imagination needs a little jump start, spend some time with a child. There’s a very good reason their angels always see the face of God.


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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

How to Protect Yourself from an Extra-Marital Affair

The media continues to buzz with stories of notable Christian men caught in or confessing to adulterous affairs. These men's families are destroyed. Their ministries are thrown into turmoil. And the world, the flesh, and the devil carve notches into their evil belts and smile.

Adulterous affairs seldom make our local news unless the people involved are high profile citizens, but the effect of their sin is equally devastating. I’ve seen smart men and women who love God risk their families, ministries, careers, wealth, and reputations because they’ve become emotionally involved with someone other than their spouse.

The why is complicated, but I think I discovered a clue to the how during my quiet time.

Job was a righteous man, by God’s standards, one who “feared God and shunned evil.” He was committed to purity and took special steps to avoid temptation and lust. “I have made a covenant with my eyes,” he said. “Why then should I look upon a young woman?”

He recognized what many people forget—that when we allow our eyes to go places they shouldn’t, our minds, and often our bodies follow closely behind. Jesus said, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mat. 5:28).

Listen again to Job, “If my step has turned from the way, or if my heart walked after my eyes,” (Job 31:7). “If my heart walked after my eyes. . .” What a painfully accurate description of what happens when people commit adultery.

Think about David and Bathsheba. David saw her on the roof bathing. Instead of turning his eyes away, he continued to look. His lingering look led to lustful thoughts, which led him to covet Uriah’s wife, which led him to commit adultery.

I wonder how many sins we could avoid if we didn’t allow our hearts to walk after our eyes.

Dave Carder is the author of Close Calls! What 
Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage. His book contains the list, “19 Danger Signs of Close Call Relationships.” Based on years of counseling research, he’s identified the actions that often precede extra-marital affairs. The list is eye opening and frightening.

Even more eye opening is his description of how subtly and innocently most extramarital affairs begin. Because men and women are thrown together so much more in today’s society than they used to be—at work, the gym, and yes, even at church, the possibility for temptation is higher than it’s ever been. It’s not unusual that men and women spend more time together every day with someone other than his or her spouse.

This opens up a whole new world of temptation. Regularly working together on business projects, working out at the same gym, and even ministering together on a worship team or a church committee throws members of the opposite sex together in ways that didn’t happen 40 years ago.

I’ve included Part I of Carder’s interview with Moira Brown below. If you’re reading by email, CLICK HERE TO VIEW Dave Carder’s interview. It contains wise advice about how you can protect your marriage against adultery. You owe it to yourself to watch it, then share it with your spouse and other people you care about.

Getting married takes work. Staying married takes even more work. But it’s worth it. May we heed the wise warning of 1 Peter 5:8:

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.”



 


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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Chocolate Crying Days -- Planned Parenthood and Abortion

There are days when all I want to do is eat chocolate and cry. Sometimes I eat chocolate then cry. Sometimes I cry and then eat chocolate. And sometimes I cry while eating chocolate. 

Yesterday was a chocolate cry day. As I typed, there were tears threatening to tumble from my eyes. Three Snickers wrappers sat next to my computer. They were as empty as I was. 

I’m a tenderhearted person. I do my best to avoid sad animal stories, news reports about cruelty to the elderly, and documentaries about child abuse. I know it’s out there, and I’m committed to do whatever I can to prevent it, but I can’t know the details. They linger in my mind, haunt my nights, and, yes, bring about chocolate cry days. 

This is why I’ve been diligently avoiding the Planned Parenthood videos. I understand the tragedy of abortion. I was nine years old when Roe v. Wade promised a new kind of reproductive freedom to women. 

As an unsaved teenager, I bought the “progressive freedom” lie hook, line, and sinker. If I’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock like some of my friends did, I’d have marched right down to the nearest abortion clinic, handed over my $350, and signed the paperwork to “fix my problem and get on with my life.” This makes me just as guilty as anyone who’s actually had an abortion, I think. Didn’t Jesus say if we commit sin in our hearts, we’re as guilty as if we’ve actually done the deed? You’ll never hear condemning words from me if you were deceived into having an abortion. 

But today, while I was working on the Internet, there they were—horrible, graphic pictures of tiny little baby parts swimming in blood. 

And my heart broke. 

My heart broke for the young women. 

Pregnant, scared women who have been lied to and deceived into thinking abortion will make their problems go away, when in reality their problems will have only just begun. No one tells them their abortions will haunt them every day of their lives. That they’ll see their babies’ faces everywhere they look. That they’ll track their children’s ages and imagine what they would have looked like at 3, at 5, at 13, at 18. That they’ll suffer guilt, depression, and shame. 

And my heart broke for the babies. 

Nearly 50 million babies aborted since Roe v Wade legalized abortion*. Stalin killed 4-10 million Russians, and they called him a murderer. Hitler killed nearly 10 million Europeans, and they called him the master of genocide. Doctors kill 50 million babies, and we call them women’s rights activists. 

These babies were future fathers and mothers, teachers and nurses, scientists and Sunday school teachers. They were someone’s sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren. They were tiny, perfect, beautiful people who died before they lived in what should have been the safest place in the world—their mothers’ wombs. 

And then my heart broke for our world. 

So sick and depraved that we murder our infants in the name of women’s rights and sell their body parts on the black market while the collective conscience looks the other way. 

We do not deserve God’s mercy. 

Yet he offers it freely. 

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;” says the Lord, “I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God. I will save you from all your uncleanness” (Eze. 36:26-29).


Chocolate and tears won't save us. New legislation won't save us. Protests won't save us. Only God can save us—our nation, our families, our children, and the babies who have no voice but our own. 

Father, I pray you will have mercy on our souls. Sweep across our nation with the power of your Holy Spirit. Break our hearts over our sin. Lead us to confess and repent. Remove our hearts of stone and replace them with hearts of flesh. Save us, Father, for you are our only hope. 

In the mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen. 


*http://cnsnews.com/news/article/nearl...


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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

5 Surprising Things that Happen When We Read Our Bibles

I try really hard not to say, “You should . . .,” because it seldom goes over well. 

Whether I’m talking to my husband, my adult children, or my friends, the words, “You should . . .” usually invite heated discussion rather than speedy compliance. Even as a writer, basic blogging courses teach, Never make your reader feel as though you’re preaching at them. As I’ve matured, I’ve learned to use the subtleties of communication to change an imperative into an option. “Perhaps you’d like to consider . . .” or “Have you thought of . . .” 

But today, I’m breaking all the rules. Because it’s important. Because I’m passionate about it. Because your spiritual life depends on it. Here goes: 

You should read your Bible every day. 

And here’s why—surprising things happen when we read our Bibles. Here are five of them: 


1. We have more peace. In this frantic, stress-filled world in which we live, who wouldn’t like more peace? Peace, in its truest form, isn’t the absence of strife; it’s the gentle resting of a child in the arms of her father. “Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble,” Psalm 119:165 tells us. When we read God’s Word, he reminds us he is in control, and we are safe. 

2. We live a purer life. Think of the ills that plague our society: murder, rage, adultery, gossip, promiscuity, abortion, alcoholism, drug abuse, robbery . . . I could go on forever. Applying God’s Word to our lives protects us from these. “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word,” says Psalm 119: 9. 

3. We experience God’s provision. “No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless,” Psalm 84:11 says. This is a conditional promise—if we live blamelessly (not perfect, but diligently trying to obey God), God will meet our needs. And we cannot live blamelessly without spending time in God’s Word. 

4. We experience deeper and more satisfying relationships. How many times, when we’re struggling to be a good spouse, parent, family member, or friend have we said, “I just wish there was a book I could read”? Well, there is—the Bible. The best relational advice in the world is sitting quietly on the pages of Scripture just waiting for us to read and apply it. 

5. We talk with the God of the universe. When we pray, we talk to God. When we read God’s Word, he talks to us. Think about how excited you’d be if you could talk to the wisest man in the world. Now multiply that wisdom by a gazillion, and you get a glimpse of what happens when we spend time in God’s Word. In addition to wise counsel, God’s Word speaks love, tenderness, encouragement, hope, and perspective. 

I hope by now you understand why I broke my rule and told you, “You should read your Bible.” And I also hope, as you’ve read five of the surprising things that happen when we spend time in God’s Word every day, you’re intrigued and challenged to read your Bible every day. Of all the disciplines of the spiritual life, daily Bible reading is the one that will impact your life in the most amazing ways. 

My short list is incomplete. I’d love to hear about the benefits you’ve discovered as you’ve read your Bible. Leave a comment below and share your thoughts. If you're reading by email, CLICK HERE to leave a comment.

And if you'd like to hear a lovely musical rendition of Psalm 84, I invite you to worship with Jason Silver.






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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Someone's praying for you

There are times in a person’s life when it’s hard to pray. Times of confusion and chaos. Times of loss and grief. Times of panic and fear. Times of hopelessness and struggling faith. 

When the circumstances of life squeeze hard and leave us gasping for breath, it’s hard to form specific, faith-filled prayers. When the events of a crisis speed past us, and we feel like a puppy that wandered onto the interstate, the mental concentration to petition heaven just isn’t there. When we’re holding on to life and sanity with all we have, and all we have isn’t much, there’s little energy left to claim God’s promises. 

This is when the prayers of others carry us. 

I’m very fortunate to have brothers and sisters in Christ who pray for me and with me. It is a great gift. I hope you have mighty prayer warriors in your life, but if you don’t, do not despair. Every believer has the greatest prayer warrior in the world interceding for him or her. Romans 8 tells us his name—the Holy Spirit. 

The third member of the trinity, God himself, prays for you. 

In the dark night of the soul, you are not alone. The Holy Spirit of God is there to strengthen you, guide you, sustain you, and ask God the Father for exactly what you need to make it through. Listen to Romans 8:26: 

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” 

When we are confused, afraid, weak, and hopeless, God himself, through the person of the Holy Spirit, prays for us. 

Not only prays for us, but searches our hearts so deeply that he knows everything in them. He sees our fears, our pain, our guilt, and our shame. He is intimately acquainted with all our ways, but instead of condemning us, he uses his knowledge to pray for us. 

And he prays for us according to God’s will. 

Because I am mortal, I have limited understanding and wisdom. When I pray for others, I’m not always sure of what to pray. I don’t know what’s best for my friend who’s struggling in her marriage, or my neighbor who’s stuck in a dead end job. I don’t know how to counsel my husband who’s making significant life decisions. 

But God is all knowing. We never have to fear that the Holy Spirit will ask for something on our behalf that isn’t God’s best for us. We can trust him. Here’s proof from Scripture: 

“And he (God) who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will” (Romans 8:27). 

If you’re struggling today, cry out to God. Tell him your hurts, needs, and fears. Cling to him in faith, knowing that as you pray, and even if you are unable to pray, God the Holy Spirit is praying for you.


“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men” 
(Psalm 107:28-31)


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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Could God Be Testing You?

My grandmother was a Portuguese immigrant. The daughter of textile mill workers, she was much older than the English speaking students in her class, and they mocked her. She quit school after the fourth grade when she learned to read, write, and do simple math. 

At 14, she lied about her age so she could join her parents and eldest brother in the mill. When mill work became too strenuous, she hired herself out to babysit other mill workers’ children.


She once told me a story about the first man for whom she worked. “Money was always tight,” she said. “They had five children. But every now and then Mr. P. would leave money lying around on a table or a dresser. I wondered why he would be so careless. . .”

Peering at me over the top of her over-sized reading glasses, she raised an eyebrow and shook her finger. “THEN I figured it out. He was testing me. He wanted to see if I was honest.” Her eyes looked beyond mine and into the past. “I never took anything,” she said softly. “Not even a coin I found in his pocket when I was doing the laundry.”

The concept of testing is biblical.

God tested Abraham when he told him to sacrifice Isaac on the altar (Genesis 22:1). God tested Hezekiah, too: “But when envoys were sent by the rulers of Babylon to ask him about the miraculous sign that had occurred in the land, God left him to test him and to know everything that was in his heart” (2 Chr. 32:31).

Because God is omniscient (all knowing), he knew Abraham would trust his promises and be willing to sacrifice Isaac on the altar, so why did he test him? He knew what was in Hezekiah’s heart and how he would respond to the test set before him, so why did he test him?

And why does he test us?

Maybe because Abraham needed to know whether he loved God more than anyone and anything else. And maybe because Hezekiah needed to know whether his heart was wholly committed to the Lord.

Times of testing, when circumstances are overwhelming and God seems far away force us to make a choice: will we believe God’s promises, or will we allow our circumstances to steal our faith?

Joshua summed up the choice in one sentence: “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve,” (Josh. 24:15). 

Mr. P. didn't leave money around because he hoped my grandmother would steal. He left money around so she could prove  she was honest. God doesn't test our faith because he hopes we will fail. He tests us so we can stake our faith firmly on him.

If you’re going through a faith crisis, I challenge you to keep your eyes on Jesus. Trust him with your past, your present, and your future. Throw in your whole lot with the one who loved you enough to die for you.

I can say with confidence, God will not disappoint you. 


When you weather a crisis and come out on the other side with your faith not only intact, but stronger than ever, God will use your testimony to strengthen and encourage others. He’ll give you authentic and indisputable faith stories. He’ll use your tears to water others’ fledgling faith, and he’ll use your obedience to accomplish spiritual deeds on his behalf—all because you passed the faith test.

So how do we pass? By mustering up our own courage, strength, or trust?

No.

We pass God's test by clinging tightly to his hand, asking him to strengthen us, and trusting his will for our lives. We say with Joshua, “as for me and my household, (no matter what) we will serve the LORD.” 

I hope one day I'll hear God say the same words he said to Abraham: “Now I know that you fear God.”

What about you? Are you experiencing a trial? Could it be a test from the Lord to strengthen your faith? God's given you the power to pass the test, and he's rooting for you.  How are you going to respond?


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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

When Your Life Feels Like a Roller Coaster

Thirty years ago my husband of two days put me on Space Mountain at Disney World. I say put because there was no way on God’s green earth I would have voluntarily climbed into that capsule of death and flung my life to the wind. I was tricked, blindsided, and betrayed. 

For two days, on many of the attractions at Disney, we had climbed into seats and fastened our belts. Some seats stayed in place and shook, pitched, and swayed dramatically without ever leaving the ground (the now defunct Mission to Mars). Others separated from their rows and carried us gently through misty prehistoric landscapes populated by audio-animatronic dinosaurs belching sulfuric gasses as we passed (ExxonMobile’s Universe of Energy). Still others ferried us from one cherubic scene to another as happy children sang “It’s a Small World.” 

It was my first trip to Disney World and our honeymoon week. Knowing that Disney was considered an “amusement park,” I made it clear to my new groom that I did NOT like scary rides. The most dangerous ride I’d ever been on was the carousel at Crescent Park. “No tilt-a-whirls, no Scramblers, not even a Ferris Wheel,” I explained, “and certainly NEVER a roller coaster. I’m a coward, and I plan to stay that way.” 

Initially apprehensive that one of the rides we went on might be too fast or too scary, I gradually relaxed and began to enjoy myself. My trust in my new husband grew. He had made a great choice for our honeymoon destination and was kind and patient with my limitations. 

Until Space Mountain. 

Since I’d grown up 1,000 miles away in New England, Disney World was the place where rich kids and their parents went on vacation. I didn’t know any rich kids, so I’d heard very little about the theme park. I had no clue what any of the rides were. 

My husband, on the other hand, had lived in Jacksonville. He had visited Disney World 14 times. He knew the park as well as he knew his own neighborhood. When he suggested it as a honeymoon destination, I was thrilled. 

That fateful morning we walked through the park hand in hand, eager to begin our day. “Let’s go here,” he said, pointing to a huge, circular white building that looked like an upside-down cupcake wrapper. Giant letters that spelled out Space Mountain adorned the pleated top. 

“OK,” I replied, following trustingly behind. Blind trust accurately describes the only reason I remained in that serpentine line winding slowly past signs that warned If you have a heart condition, do not ride this ride, and If you are prone to anxiety attacks, panic disorders, or fainting spells, do not ride this ride. Not even the sign that said Secure your hats and glasses prior to entering clued me in to what was ahead. 

Finally it was our turn, and the attendant directed me to the front seat in the front car. My new husband sat immediately behind me. I buckled in, the attendant checked my seat belt, and I settled back for the ride. Must be a constellation show, I thought, noticing that the room on the other side of the small doorway through which we would soon travel was dark. 

And that’s the last pleasant thought I remember. Hm . . . we’re going up . . . what’s that clacking noise? . . . it’s really dark in here . . . when does the narration begin? . . . all I see are a few stars . . . this is pretty lame . . . wonder why they call it Space Mouuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu 

The seat dropped from under me, my seat belt grabbed me, and I hung, suspended between the hard cold car and eternity. I crashed down onto the seat, only to rise again, with only a length of belt and a flimsy buckle tethering me to my torture chamber. 

I wedged my shins against the front of the car to brace myself, smothered a scream, and wondered if two days of consummated marriage disqualified me for an annulment. I want to die, I thought. No, I want to live. I want to live so I can kill my husband. 

The fact that we’ve now been married for 30 years clues you in to the fact that not only did I survive my ride on Space Mountain, but so did my husband. When the longest ride in the history of Disney ended, he took one look at my white face, teary eyes, and scraped shins and realized he had made a serious mistake. “No roller coasters” to him had meant, “no scary roller coasters.” To me, it meant, “nothing faster than the tea cups and saucers.” 

He apologized. I fumed. He humbly begged my forgiveness. I silently ignored his pleas. He promised to never ever ever ever to do such a thing again, and I relented. We did love each other, after all, and it was our honeymoon. 

In November, to celebrate our 30th anniversary, we’ll be returning to Disney World, but that’s not why I thought of Space Mountain today. I thought of Space Mountain because my roller coaster experience reminds me of life. 

Life often chugs along smoothly. We have money in the bank, our bodies are healthy, and our relationships with friends and family are strong. 


But sometimes the sky grows dark. Uncertainty looms. The bottom drops out from under us, and we wonder if the slender cord we’re trusting in is enough to hold us. Worse yet, we wonder if the One in whom we’re trusting might not be worthy of our trust. Has He abandoned us? Left us in the dark to face our fears alone? Thrust us into the unknown with no way out? 

Even more unsettling, was it He who buckled our trusting selves into the very car that will carry us to our destruction? Have we been tricked? Blindsided? Betrayed? 

Thankfully God’s Word answers these questions for us: 

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you are with me” (Ps. 23:4). 

“I will never leave you or forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). 

“For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men” (Lam. 3:31). 

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 2:4-7). 

If you feel like you’re on a roller coaster in the dark today, I pray these truths will comfort and encourage you. Remember, “the eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deut. 33:27).


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If this post was meaningful to you, would you consider sharing it with a friend by clicking on one of the buttons below? Did you know you can receive bi-weekly Hungry for God posts sent directly to your email inbox? Visit http://www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com and click on the link in the right hand corner to Subscribe Via Email.

Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher