Lori Hatcher's Blog: Refresh Blog, page 52

Five Ways to Disagree without Being Disagreeable

“Whoever writes this stuff is very ignorant of the Bible and its meaning. . .”

“Someone who denies Christ and isn’t very educated wrote this *#%.” 


These are two comments I received lately in response to one of my articles, two of a long string of responses. Some were positive and kind. Others respectfully disagreed with a point or two I made. And others were rude, disrespectful, and abusive. 

The contrast got me thinking. 

We live in a country that allows its citizens to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of persecution or imprisonment. Social media, especially, gives the average person the platform to air their views on a far-reaching and even global stage. But does the freedom we enjoy give us carte blanche to say whatever we think however we want? 

I think not. 

Especially if we’re believers. God holds us to a higher standard than our civil authorities, and we answer to a higher law than that which rules our nation. 

Unless we live alone in a cave on a mountain in Tibet, we’re going to eventually encounter someone with whom we disagree. 

So how do we disagree without being disagreeable? 

Here are five ways: 

1. Examine our motives. 
Why are we disagreeing? To be contrary and stir up dissention? To demonstrate how smart we are? If so, Proverbs 16:28 has a word of warning: “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.” 

If, however, we embrace a belief or perspective that differs from the person with whom we’re talking and have pure motives, we might have legitimate grounds to approach someone. 

2. Pray about the right words. 
The right words, carefully chosen, can unlock a person’s heart and open their mind to consider an alternative view point. The wrong words can cause someone to shut down or react defensively. The best hope we have to convert someone to our perspective is to speak thoughtful, intelligent words, seasoned with grace and truth. 

If we have a legitimate concern to share with another, and our motive is to educate or edify, Ephesians 4:15 gives us wise guidance: “. . . Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Speaking the truth in love requires us to approach someone with whom we disagree gently, humbly, and respectfully, with the desire to educate, not insult. 

3. Choose our timing well. 
Especially if the point of disagreement makes you angry, don’t open your mouth (or your computer) immediately. Take time to think, pray, consider the facts, and examine your motive. Many times I’ve been convinced I was right until I talked to the Lord about it. If, after time and prayer, you still feel compelled to address the issue, choose a time that allows for a thorough, unhurried talk. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,” James 1:19 tells us. 

4. Ask, does it really need to be said? 
Much of what we disagree about probably doesn’t need to be spoken aloud. But some of it does. How do we know? Here are a few things to consider: If you don’t speak up, will it harm the person? Does the Bible give clear biblical precedent or is it a biblically grey area? Is it a major point or a minor point, a matter of principle or a matter of preference? Is it any of your business? Proverbs 26:17 cautions, “Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own.” 

5. Focus on the idea, not the person. 
The examples I shared at the beginning of this post are examples of attacking the person, not the idea. Name calling, defamatory statements, comments about one’s salvation, education, or personal life have no place in the discussion. Other readers who disagreed with me focused on the biblical reasons they took exception to what I’d written. This is healthy, helpful, and respectful discussion. I welcome it.

Philippians 2:3-4 gives us perhaps the greatest guideline for dealing with disagreement: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” 

So the next time we wonder if we should disagree with someone, we’d do well to examine our motives, pray about the right words, choose our timing well, ask if it really needs to be said, and focus on the idea, not the person. 

Then, we can successfully disagree without being disagreeable.



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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Satan's Favorite Question

When I was younger, I believed a lot of lies. And I’m not talking about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus (oops, sorry, spoiler alert). 


I believed I’d be fulfilled if I chose the right career, happy if the cute guy in Algebra class asked me out, and secure if I earned plenty of money. 

I believed my parents were out-of-touch, my friends were all-knowing, and everyone else’s family was way cooler than mine. 

I believed education was the key to success, women’s liberation would set me free, and faith was quaint and outdated. 

Most of all, I believed I was the master of my destiny. 

Then I discovered the Truth. 

I discovered I’d been looking at life upside down and believing lies that originated in the dawn of time. Genesis 3:1 contains history’s first lie, one humanity has been happily swallowing since. 


“Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, ‘Did God really say, “You must not eat from any tree in the garden”?’” 

There you have it – the essence of mankind’s deception, in one tiny little sentence. God is lying to you.  

Such a simple plan, yet so fatally effective – get Adam and Eve to doubt God’s Word, and they’re sunk. Finished. Destroyed. And not only them, but their descendants to thousands of generations. Satan for the win! No wonder Jesus called him, “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). 

It’s easy to see Adam and Eve’s error from our 21st-century perspective. We look down our theologically-superior noses and wonder how they could be so gullible. Trust a talking snake instead of the God who made them? You’ve got to be kidding. 

Yet if we’re not careful, we eagerly sink our teeth into the same deceptive fruit as our forefathers. Every time we think or act contrary to God’s Word, we stand shoulder to shoulder with Adam and Eve, nodding our bobble-heads to Satan’s lies. 

You can’t afford to give to God’s work. Let the rich people donate. 

Stay in that difficult marriage? You deserve someone who treats you better. 

Believe God can soften that wayward child’s heart? Give up, and quit praying. 

Work hard, be honest, and put others before yourself? You’ll never get ahead that way. 

Trust God to redeem the bad/sad/broken parts of your life? Forget it. Your life is too messed up to fix. 

Pray instead of taking matters into your own hands? What a waste of time. 

A new year has begun, one filled with choices. At the root of every circumstance and situation is the question Satan asked: “Did God really say . . .? Who are you going to believe – me or God?” 

When I was 18 years old, I rejected the lies in favor of the Truth. I placed my faith in Jesus Christ and committed my life to following him. I acknowledged the truth -- that he was the master of my destiny. But that was only the beginning of walking by faith. 

Every day since, I face the same choice. You do, too. Who are we going to believe? Every decision we make and every action we take boils down to this question. 

Whatever you’re facing right now, God’s Word has the answer, and you can trust it. 

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). 

And so I ask, Who will you believe today?



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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Look for Opportunities, not Excuses

Nell and Lairy Easterling are 93 years old. They are founding members of our church. For more than 50 years, they’ve served faithfully, given generously, and modeled the faith life to our congregation. 

Nell’s also a really good cook. 

As I sat across from her at a recent pot luck dinner, I asked for the recipe for the dish she’d brought. As with most good cooks, she could recite it from memory. 

But halfway through, somewhere between the cottage cheese and the Mandarin oranges, she stopped.Catching her husband’s eye, she tapped the tablecloth in front of her. 

“Honey, let’s take these home and wash them,” she said. He nodded. “We can’t do much anymore, but we can do that.” 

I wrote down the rest of the recipe, but came away from the conversation with much more than instructions for a new dish. Without realizing it, Mrs. Nell had shared a life lesson with me. 

I told my husband about it on the way home. “If I was 93 years old, could barely walk, and had been serving in the church for three-quarters of a century, I think I’d probably say, ‘I’m old. I’ve done my time. Let someone else do it.’"

"Instead she looks around and says, ‘I wonder what I can do to help?’” 

Mrs. Nell is living out 1 Samuel 12:24: "But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart."  

Her example challenges me to serve God with the abilities and resources he’s given me. To jump in wherever I see a need instead of waiting to be asked. To look for opportunities, instead of excuses. 

As we begin the new year, will you join me in pledging to serve God whenever he gives us the chance and the ability? If every church member served this way, imagine what God could do. 

Now it's your turn. Has there been someone in your life who has modeled biblical servanthood? I'd love to hear about them. Leave a comment in the box below and share your story.

Happy New Year!



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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Looking for Opportunities, not Excuses

Nell and Lairy Easterling are 93 years old. They, along with Nell’s sister, Josie, are founding members of our church. For more than 50 years, they’ve served faithfully, given generously, and modeled the faith life to our congregation. 

Nell’s also a really good cook. 

As I sat across from her at a recent pot luck dinner, I asked for the recipe for the dish she’d brought. As with most good cooks, she could recite it from memory. 

But halfway through, somewhere between the cottage cheese and the Mandarin oranges, she stopped.Catching her husband’s eye, she tapped the tablecloth in front of her. 

“Honey, let’s take these home and wash them,” she said. He nodded. “We can’t do much anymore, but we can do that.” 

I wrote down the rest of the recipe, but came away from the conversation with much more than instructions for a new dish. Without realizing it, Mrs. Nell had also shared a life lesson with me. 

I told my husband about it on the way home. “If I was 90 years old, could barely walk, and had been serving in the church for three-quarters of a century, I think I’d probably say, ‘I’m old. I’ve done my time. Let someone else do it.’"

"Instead she looks around and says, ‘I wonder what I can do to help?’” 

Mrs. Nell is living out 1 Samuel 12:24: "But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart."  

Her example challenges me to serve God with the abilities and resources he’s given me. To jump in wherever I see a need instead of waiting to be asked. To look for opportunities, instead of excuses. 

As we begin the new year, will you join me in pledging to serve God whenever he gives us the chance and the ability? If every church member served this way, imagine what God could do. 

Now it's your turn. Has there been someone in your life who has modeled biblical servanthood? I'd love to hear about them. Leave a comment in the box below and share your story.

Happy New Year!



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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Top Ten Posts of 2017

Today, as we welcome in a new year, I'd thought it might be fun to revisit the ten most popular posts on Hungry for God in 2017. And to have a SHAREATHON to welcome in 2018.

I'm so grateful for you, dear friends, for reading, commenting, sharing, and praying for me and the ministry of Hungry for God. If you've been blessed by what you've read this year, would you consider sharing this post (or the link to this post) with a friend or on social media? Please invite them to subscribe. My goal for 2018 is to encourage even more busy women to spend time with God. Thanks so much for helping,
Lori






And now, the TOP TEN POSTS OF 2017 (just click on the title of each to read them again):


#1 – 7 Signs God is Calling You, Part I and II. Have you ever wondered if you’re hearing from God? Here’s biblical direction to help you know.  

#2 – It’s All a Matter of Perspective. What is the single greatest influence in your life? Many will say perspective. If you’re looking for a way to influence your life for good in this new year, you’ll want to read this. 

#3 – Easter in August – A Biblical Perspective on the Solar Eclipse. In this guest post, Gloria Barrett opens our eyes to the amazingly spiritual aspects of the August 21 solar eclipse. You’ll want to revisit this hauntingly beautiful essay. 


#4 – Half Empty with a Bug in the Bottom, or Full and Running Over? We often encounter negative people with sour dispositions. This humorous post shares a way to turn negativity around. 

#5 – Hope for the Brokenhearted. Sometimes life overwhelms us and leaves us feeling broken. Here’s powerful, lasting hope. 

#6 – A Sweet Tip for Resolving Conflict. We all disagree – with our spouses, friends, family, and co-workers. Here’s one way to ensure a healthy, positive resolution to those heated squabbles. 


#7 – When God Doesn’t Live Up to Our Expectations. Let’s face it, sometimes God leaves us hurt and disappointed. How do we handle the feelings without losing our faith? 

#8 – A Word from God for Those Who Want to Quit. If you’re ready to throw in the towel, pack your bags, and go home, here’s strong spiritual encouragement to help you keep moving forward. 

#9 – Two Ways the Holy Spirit Speaks to Us. That mysterious third member of the Trinity – when he speaks, how can we be sure it’s him? 

#10 – An Alternative to Complaining. Oh my, we’re so good at complaining. But does it ever accomplish anything? Here’s an alternative that could make all the difference.






May God draw you ever nearer to himself in this new year. Blessings to you, and Happy New Year,

Lori





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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

The Two Most Important Questions in the Bible

In Genesis 3:9, God asks one of the two most important questions in the Bible. 

Picture the scene. The paint is barely dry on God’s creation masterpiece. The world is pristine. Animals and humans live in perfect harmony. Adam and his new bride, Eve, are naked and unashamed. No sin corrupts their relationship—with each other or with their creator. God and Adam walk and talk together in the cool of every evening. 

Until Satan and his evil henchman, Sin, enter in. They lie to Eve, cause her to doubt God’s goodness and tempt her to disobey God’s instructions. From the first bite of that toxic fruit, she and her husband are naked and ashamed. They stitch pitiful faux coverings for themselves and hide from the God they once fellowshipped with. In disgust and judgment God could and should have turned his back on them, but instead he comes calling. 

And he asks the question: “Where are you?” 

His question to Adam and Eve is his question to us as well: Where are you in relationship to him? Are we, like Adam and Eve, partially-clothed with our own pitiful attempts to cover our sin? Hiding from him because we’ve disobeyed his instructions and spurned his love? Or are we naked and unashamed, clothed in Christ’s righteousness and walking in sweet camaraderie and obedience? 

This piercing second question of the Old Testament can only be answered by a thorough understanding of the first question of the New Testament: 

“Where is He?” 

“Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, saying, ‘Where is He who has been born King of the Jews?’” (Mat. 2:1-2 NKJV). 

It really doesn’t matter where we are in relationship to God unless we know where God is in relationship to us. 

And where is he? Seeking us. 

"For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost," (Luke 19:10). 

Once he finds us, he offers salvation without cost or merit. “He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy,” Titus 3:5 says. And once we accept him as our Savior, he bestows upon us the wealth of his kingdom: forgiveness from sin, freedom from guilt, and a life filled with hope and peace. 

If Christ is our Savior, he is “near to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18), with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9), and seated at the right hand of the father, interceding on our behalf (Rom. 8:34). He goes before us (Psa. 23:3) and lives in us (1 Cor. 3:16). Best of all, he eagerly waits to welcome us home to live with him forever. (Eze. 37:27). Savor 

The two questions, “Where are you?” and “Where is He?” prove God isn’t distant or disinterested. Instead, he eagerly desires a relationship with us.

As you begin a new year, take a moment to ask yourself these two questions: Where am I in relationship to God? and, where is God in relationship to me? Your honest answers will set the stage for a year of plumbing the depths of God’s love for you.



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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

What You Don't Want to Miss this Christmas

I sit in the semi-darkness of a cloudy December day. The bustle of early morning has passed, and, for a brief interlude, quiet has settled over my home like a warm blanket. I hesitate to turn on the light, afraid that the brightness will frighten the silence away. 

Silence is precious in this week before Christmas. 

So is solitude. 

Today I’ll babysit for the littles so their mama can shop unhindered. I’ll make a holiday meal for a friend, wash three loads of laundry, and host the final men’s Bible study of the year. I’ll write in the snatches of time between microwave and dryer beeps and answer a dozen phone calls and emails. 

But in this brief moment before the world elbows its way into my day, I sit in silent contemplation. 

Until someone appears in the doorway of my sanctuary. 

Reverent and respectful of this holy pause, he waits quietly until I notice him. 

Emmanuel. 

God with us. 

God with me.  

Always the perfect gentleman, he doesn’t push himself in. He waits to be invited. To sit with me. To share my contemplation. To speak his heart and listen to mine. He adds some thoughts about my day I haven’t considered, takes a task off my  To Do list, and adds one of his own. 

I tell him about the things that weigh heavy on my heart. Wayward family members, strained relationships, financial challenges, health concerns. 

He takes the burdens from me and hands me peace in exchange. 

As the calendar steamrolls toward Christmas, you may not think you have time for quiet contemplation. Do it anyway. Set aside a few quiet moments to fellowship with Emmanuel, the God who is with us. 

It's what Christmas is all about.



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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Why We Can Trust Jesus with Our Past, Present, and Future

“Who is Jesus?” I heard a little girl ask her mother. 

Her mom thought a moment, then answered. “He was a good man who lived a long, long time ago.” 

This young mother’s answer wasn’t inherently wrong, but it was . Let's look at a verse that captures the essence of God much more accurately. 


"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty” (Rev. 1:8). By describing himself this way, God reminds us of his three-fold nature. 

First, he describes himself as “the one who is.” This phrase has the power to calm our troubled hearts when we feel like the world is spinning out of control. When we wonder whether God truly exists. When our fears loom large and our faith hides under the bed. 

This verse answers our anxious plea, “God, where are you?” with the beautiful truth, I’m right here. 

John penned the book of Revelation in the first century after Christ’s resurrection. The Roman government was persecuting the early church, at least one pastor had been martyred, and John himself was exiled to the island of Patmos. It was a turbulent and frightening time. 

But God came to John in a vision and reminded him, I am here. I was crucified. I died. I was buried. I rose and ascended into heaven, but I haven’t ceased to exist. I am actively involved in everything that happens. Fear not. 

God’s second description of himself, the one “who was,” identifies him as the self-existing one. By using this phrase, God removes a tremendous burden from our shoulders. He tells us we don’t have to figure out what’s right and wrong, because he’s already done it for us. 

When he designed the world, he put laws and principles in place that are true and right. When we obey these principles, we reap the benefits of his wisdom. Genesis 1:1 reminds us, “In the beginning, God . . .” 

Because the world began with God, not mankind, he’s the ultimate authority. One day, every person, leader, government, and spiritual force will answer to him. By basing our lives on his Word, we can make decisions with confidence, knowing our choices please him. 

Finally, by describing himself as the one “who is to come,” God gives us hope to hang our weary hats upon. 

One day, God will come in power and authority to right every wrong. He’ll judge the ungodly, reward the faithful, and set up a kingdom that will never end. He’ll banish sin, sickness, and Satan, and defeat the power of death once and for all. He’ll wipe every tear from our eyes. Best of all, he’ll gather us to himself, reunite us with our believing loved ones, and reward us for our faithfulness. 

As you ponder the truth that Jesus is “the one who is, and who was, and who is to come,” walk boldly into your day. Remember that we serve the God who created the world, is actively present in it, and will one day come again. Nothing is truer than this. Like John on the island of Patmos, we can stake our lives on it.



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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

Welcome to My Home at Christmas -- a Vlog

Merry Christmas! 
Today I thought it would be fun to do something different. Instead of a written blog post, I put together a little impromptu vlog -- a video blog. In it, I invite you into my home and share a few ways we decorate to make Christmas special. Don't worry -- it's not like the dreaded home movies you used to snooze through as a kid. This one's quick and fun.
So come on in. Welcome to my home. I'm glad you're here.




If you're receiving this by email, click HERE to watch the video.



And if you're still looking for a perfect Christmas gift for that family member, friend, kids' teacher, or babysitter, why not give her a copy of my devotional book, Hungry for God ... Starving for Time? I'd be honored to be part of your gift giving this year. CLICK HERE for the Amazon link.





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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher

When "the Happiest Season of All" Isn't

The holiday season can make us profoundly aware of all that is wrong in our lives. Watching holiday specials featuring happy families gathered around the Christmas tree makes us grieve the imperfections in our own families. The endless ads for the latest and greatest possessions remind us of our meager bank accounts. The health and apparent well being of others stand in sharp contrast to our own physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges. If we’re not proactive, the “happiest season of all” can become the saddest one.

Unless we let gratitude rescue us.

Social media was full of memes and posts about gratitude during the Thanksgiving season. That’s good. By nature we are self-centered, selfish, ungrateful people. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. I know this because most of the time, I am a self-centered, selfish, ungrateful person.

Occasionally, however, the goodness of God overwhelms me, and gratitude bubbles up.

It happened today in a most unlikely place – my laundry room. Rain had been falling for three days. This probably doesn’t sound like much to those of you who live in places other than the sunny South, but for us, three days of rain with two more forcasted is unusual. And inconvenient.

My gratitude erupted when I pulled the first of two loads of clothes out of the washer and stuffed them into the dryer. I’m so thankful I have a clothes dryer, I thought, and grateful tears welled up. For ten years I lived without one.

On sunny days I’d hang our laundry on a backyard clothesline, and on rainy days I’d string it up all over the house like a Chinese laundry. Remembering those days triggered my grateful response and tendered my heart to recognize God’s goodness.

Another gratitude eruption happened the day I gave blood. “Thirteen point six,” the phlebotomist announced as she read my hemoglobin level. “Thank you, God,” I blurted out.

The technician looked at me strangely, so I explained. “For many years my hemoglobin was so low I couldn’t donate blood. In fact,” I paused, “someone had to give me two pints of blood. Now I donate every chance I get. I’m so grateful to be well.”

Gratitude often wells up on a spiritual level, too. I shared my salvation story recently with a new friend. As I told her my story, all the emotions of those empty and fearful days returned, and I was once again a profoundly lost young adult.

“I’d been living my life my way, and doing a lousy job of it,” I told her. “I was anxious and afraid. I had major life decisions to make and no wisdom to draw from. I went to bed crying and woke up crying.” Tears pricked my eyes at the memory, and I blinked them away.

“Finally, when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I went to talk with the pastor of the church I’d been attending. ‘Lori, don’t you want to surrender your life to Christ?’ he asked. ‘Let him take control.’ His words stirred something deep in my soul. I did want someone bigger and wiser to order my life. I bowed my head and prayed, ‘Lord, I’ve been doing things my way for too long. I don’t want to live this way anymore. I surrender my life to you. Whatever you tell me to do, I’ll do it.’”

“My life’s never been the same since,” I continued. “I have peace, even when things aren’t going my way. I’m not afraid of the future. And I have a wise, loving Father to pray to whenever I need wisdom and direction. I’m very grateful.”

If we let it, gratitude can ride in on a white horse and vanquish the demons of self-pity, comparison, and depression. It can open our eyes to the goodness of God and spotlight his gracious hand in our lives. And it can remind us of how lost we were, and how far we have come.

If you’re struggling this holiday season, will you pray this prayer with me?

Father, thank you for your presence in my life. I’m very grateful you promise never to leave me nor forsake me. Thank you for providing everything I need, and much of what I want. Help me be grateful for what I have instead of dwelling on what I don’t. Lord, I miss the friends and family members who are missing from our holiday celebrations, but I thank you for the years we had together. Thank you for my family—my imperfect, struggling, sometimes heartbreaking family. Help me love them as you love me. Most of all, thank you for sending Jesus – for loving me when I am unlovable, pursuing me when I neglect you, and preparing a place for me where I will live with you forever. I am most richly blessed.




[image error] Dear Hungry for God friends,

I suspect there are quite a few busy women on your Christmas list. Friends, co-workers, fellow church members, and your children's teachers, coaches, and babysitters, to name a few.

If you'd like to give them a gift that will draw them closer to the Lord, encourage them to spend time in God's Word, and think biblically, Hungry for God ... Starving for Time, Five-Minute Devotions for Busy Women is the gift you're looking for.

And what about those friends and loved ones who may not have a relationship with the Lord?

In the last devotion in the book, I share, in a winsome and non-threatening way, what it means to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you give someone you care about a copy of HFG, you'll not only be passing along spiritual encouragement, you'll also be sharing the gospel. Either way, you could change someone's life forever.

And that's what Christmas is all about.



I'm excited to say that
Hungry for God . . . Starving for Time  has 105 reviews and a 4.8 star rating on Amazon. It received the Christian Small Publisher Book of the Year award in 2016.

If you live in the Columbia, South Carolina area, I'd love to autograph and personalize copies for your special friends. Email me at LoriAHatcher@gmail.com.








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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher