Lori Hatcher's Blog: Refresh Blog, page 48
May 30, 2018
Love Makes the Difference
When it comes to children and spiritual truth, I’m never sure who is the teacher and who is the student. Such was the case during a conversation I had recently with my oldest granddaughter, Lauren.
“Gigi!” she said as she bounced into my house one Friday morning. (If you’ve spent any time lately around preschool girls, you know that every statement ends in an exclamation point, and that they run, skip, bounce, or hop everywhere. Walking is never an option.)
“I drew you a picture so you’d remember me while I’m in New-Ork.” She waved the masterpiece in her hand. “See, it’s you and me on a mountain. And I wrote my name on the bottom so you’d merember who drawed it.”
“You know something?" I said, scooping her up and twirling her around in a happy circle. "I think about you every day. Every. Single. Day. You know why?”
She thought a moment, then said matter-of-factly, “Because you love me?”
“Yup. Because I love you. And you know what? There’s someone else who thinks about you every single day. Can you guess who?”
She thought a little longer, following the trajectory of my thoughts.
“God?”
“Yup.” Her blue eyes lit up with the success of nailing the correct answer.
“He thinks about you every single day . . . Do you know why?”
The pause was longer this time, but then, “. . . because he loves me?”
“Yes!” I said, “He loves you so much he never stops thinking about you.”
When Jesus said we must become as little children to see the kingdom of God, I think he had in mind simple conversations like this one. If we, like little Lauren, accepted without conditions the fact that God loves us and never stops thinking about us, it would eliminate much of the angst we feel every day.
This circumstance I’m experiencing . . . if God loves me, then I can trust him to use it for good in my life.
This hard path I’m walking on . . . if God loves me, then he won’t abandon me to face it alone.
This heartache . . . if God loves me, then he can heal my heart and restore my joy.
What are you going through right now? Would it look different if you viewed it through the certainty of God’s love? Try it and see. Then trust, pray, and rest.
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1).
One of my favorite songs about God’s love is David Crowder’s “How He Loves Us.” I hope you carry its message with you all day long. If you’re reading by email, CLICK HERE to listen to David Crowder’s “How He Loves Us.”
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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
“Gigi!” she said as she bounced into my house one Friday morning. (If you’ve spent any time lately around preschool girls, you know that every statement ends in an exclamation point, and that they run, skip, bounce, or hop everywhere. Walking is never an option.) “I drew you a picture so you’d remember me while I’m in New-Ork.” She waved the masterpiece in her hand. “See, it’s you and me on a mountain. And I wrote my name on the bottom so you’d merember who drawed it.”
“You know something?" I said, scooping her up and twirling her around in a happy circle. "I think about you every day. Every. Single. Day. You know why?”
She thought a moment, then said matter-of-factly, “Because you love me?”
“Yup. Because I love you. And you know what? There’s someone else who thinks about you every single day. Can you guess who?”
She thought a little longer, following the trajectory of my thoughts.
“God?”
“Yup.” Her blue eyes lit up with the success of nailing the correct answer.
“He thinks about you every single day . . . Do you know why?”
The pause was longer this time, but then, “. . . because he loves me?”
“Yes!” I said, “He loves you so much he never stops thinking about you.”
When Jesus said we must become as little children to see the kingdom of God, I think he had in mind simple conversations like this one. If we, like little Lauren, accepted without conditions the fact that God loves us and never stops thinking about us, it would eliminate much of the angst we feel every day. This circumstance I’m experiencing . . . if God loves me, then I can trust him to use it for good in my life.
This hard path I’m walking on . . . if God loves me, then he won’t abandon me to face it alone.
This heartache . . . if God loves me, then he can heal my heart and restore my joy.
What are you going through right now? Would it look different if you viewed it through the certainty of God’s love? Try it and see. Then trust, pray, and rest.
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1).
One of my favorite songs about God’s love is David Crowder’s “How He Loves Us.” I hope you carry its message with you all day long. If you’re reading by email, CLICK HERE to listen to David Crowder’s “How He Loves Us.”
If you enjoyed this post, why not subscribe? I'll send you twice-weekly 5-minute devotions to help nourish your soul.
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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
May 27, 2018
The Call of the Mountains
I spent last week at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in Black Mountain, North Carolina. Still tender from the experience, I thought I'd share a bit of my heart.
If you had asked me 20 years ago, I’d have said I was a beach girl. Growing up on the shores of Narragansett Bay, the scent of the sea has always drawn me.
But then I discovered the Blue Ridge Mountains. Part of the Appalachian Trail, these verdant peaks exude a magnetism all their own. Musical streams wind silver threads through otherwise silent forests. Soil damp with leaves, and moss, and dew carpet the paths, inviting me deeper.
God walks among these hills, and it is here that I most often catch a glimpse of him. A flash of his diadem in the sunbeam that strikes the water. The crimson of his pierced brow in a flower petal. The whisper of his voice in the trees, and the water, and the wind.
I first heard his call to write in these mountains. And here I first uttered the words I’d been too afraid to say before:
I am a writer. I write for God.
There’s no turning back from statements like this.
My mountain path winds always upward, defying the forces of gravity that seek to pull me back. Busyness, discouragement, family responsibilities. I can’t neglect those I love and say I write for God. That would be blasphemy.
Sleep is often the gift I lay upon God’s altar. “It’s better to be sleep-deprived than God-deprived,” Becky Tirabassi once said, and it is true.
My early morning writing time becomes my worship. First I read his Words, then I write my own. Lord, speak through my sluggish brain and stumbling fingers. Help me create something beautiful.
On busy days when I cannot write, something deep inside me aches. My soul grows restless, longing to find release in expression. “If you can do anything else and be happy,” a writing colleague once said, “do it.”
But I cannot. I am besotted.
And so I press on. I pour myself out. I plant a thought and examine it. Weed or flower? Worthy or worthless? Hours of labor land in the compost heap to be ground into mulch and tilled under to feed the next seedling.
Occasionally a blossom rises from the earthy soil. It startles me. An acceptance letter. A publishing credit. An email from a reader saying thank you. Or, wonder of wonder, a book contract.
Do these affirmations change anything?
No.
I am a writer. I write for God – the God who sees what I do in secret and promises to reward me.
“God is not unjust;” his Word assures. ”He will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them” (Heb. 6:10).
Where I live, I cannot see the mountains. If I’m not careful, I forget they’re there.
So I return every year to the place of my calling. To remember. To reflect. To rest.
I pick up my staff again and set my face toward the summit.
One day, like Moses on Mt. Nebo, God will call me home.
But until then, I am a writer. I write for God.
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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
If you had asked me 20 years ago, I’d have said I was a beach girl. Growing up on the shores of Narragansett Bay, the scent of the sea has always drawn me.
But then I discovered the Blue Ridge Mountains. Part of the Appalachian Trail, these verdant peaks exude a magnetism all their own. Musical streams wind silver threads through otherwise silent forests. Soil damp with leaves, and moss, and dew carpet the paths, inviting me deeper.
God walks among these hills, and it is here that I most often catch a glimpse of him. A flash of his diadem in the sunbeam that strikes the water. The crimson of his pierced brow in a flower petal. The whisper of his voice in the trees, and the water, and the wind. I first heard his call to write in these mountains. And here I first uttered the words I’d been too afraid to say before:
I am a writer. I write for God.
There’s no turning back from statements like this.
My mountain path winds always upward, defying the forces of gravity that seek to pull me back. Busyness, discouragement, family responsibilities. I can’t neglect those I love and say I write for God. That would be blasphemy. Sleep is often the gift I lay upon God’s altar. “It’s better to be sleep-deprived than God-deprived,” Becky Tirabassi once said, and it is true.
My early morning writing time becomes my worship. First I read his Words, then I write my own. Lord, speak through my sluggish brain and stumbling fingers. Help me create something beautiful.
On busy days when I cannot write, something deep inside me aches. My soul grows restless, longing to find release in expression. “If you can do anything else and be happy,” a writing colleague once said, “do it.”
But I cannot. I am besotted.
And so I press on. I pour myself out. I plant a thought and examine it. Weed or flower? Worthy or worthless? Hours of labor land in the compost heap to be ground into mulch and tilled under to feed the next seedling.
Occasionally a blossom rises from the earthy soil. It startles me. An acceptance letter. A publishing credit. An email from a reader saying thank you. Or, wonder of wonder, a book contract. Do these affirmations change anything?
No.
I am a writer. I write for God – the God who sees what I do in secret and promises to reward me.
“God is not unjust;” his Word assures. ”He will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them” (Heb. 6:10).
Where I live, I cannot see the mountains. If I’m not careful, I forget they’re there.
So I return every year to the place of my calling. To remember. To reflect. To rest. I pick up my staff again and set my face toward the summit.
One day, like Moses on Mt. Nebo, God will call me home.
But until then, I am a writer. I write for God.
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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
May 20, 2018
Friendship Shows Itself in Unusual Ways
Some of the "besties" God has blessed me withFriendship shows itself in unusual ways.
One friend of mine, a nurse, recently demonstrated her love and care for me by presenting me with a pair of compression socks. I’m preparing for a trip that will involve 24 hours of driving over some 1,200 miles. She was worried about me.
“Nurses wear compression socks all the time,” she said, “they help prevent clots and make your legs feel so much better.” I’ve always associated compression socks with surgery and senior citizens (no offense to you senior citizens), but these were not your grandma’s compression socks – they’re black with rainbow-colored polka dots. I can’t wait to wear them.
Another friend, my neighbor, heard I’d had a hard day. Meet me at the fence, she texted. We pass everything over our backyard fence – samples of new recipes, extra onions, garden fertilizer.
But this time she handed me half a slice of pound cake someone had shared with her. It was still warm. And she gave me the best half – the top, with that amazing crust. Now that’s love.
My best friend in college pulled me aside one day to inform me that half the girls in my class were angry at me. I’d been lazy and had neglected my duties in the dental clinic, and they were righteously indignant.
She could have joined in as they griped and complained about me, but instead she did the hard thing. She confronted me, in love. I was mortified. That evening I wrote notes of apology and taped one to each girl’s locker.
No one ever mentioned the incident again, but I learned two lessons. First, pull your weight and work hard. Second, being a friend sometimes means saying hard things.
This year I’m reading through the Bible again. I just read about David and Jonathan. Although they should have been enemies, pushed apart by jealousy and rivalry, instead they were friends from their first meeting. First Samuel 18:1 describes their relationship: “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.”
Like my examples above, David and Jonathan’s friendship was characterized by love, generosity, and loyalty. They enjoyed each other’s company and doing things together. They gave willingly and generously. They stood by each other during dark days.
I hope you have at least one friend who loves you like herself. If so, I encourage you not to take her for granted. It’s easy to allow the pace of life to keep us from cultivating our most meaningful relationships.
June 8 is National Best Friend Day. Why not make plans now to do something special with that friend who makes your life smile?
And what if you don’t have a David/Jonathan-type friendship? Pray. Ask God to give you one. Then watch for opportunities to show friendship to others. Look for chances to serve rather than be served. Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV) reminds us, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.”
Remember that 24-hour, 1,200-mile road trip I’m planning? I’ll be traveling to attend my dear friend Debbie’s wedding in Delaware.Debbie and I became friends ten years ago when she was a new member of our Sunday School class. Hearing that she had just had knee surgery, I volunteered to bring her lunch.
As we visited, we discovered a mutual love for God and his Word. Our hearts have been knit together ever since.
If suspect that if I hadn’t stepped out of my comfort zone to serve someone I didn’t know well, Debbie and I might never have become friends.
That’s a sad thought. Over the past 10 years we’ve served, prayed, laughed, and ministered together. My life is richer because I know her.
What about you? Do you have a treasured friend? What makes your friendship special? Leave a comment below and share your story. If you're reading by email, click HERE to visit Hungry for God online and leave a comment.
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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
May 17, 2018
Comfort in Two Quotation Marks -- Hope for the Grieving
My friend and his wife have an ongoing bet. If he fails to notice her haircut within 24 hours, he has to take her out to dinner.Sometimes he wins. Sometimes he loses.
It’s crazy, really, how someone who lives in the same house, sits at the same breakfast table, and sleeps in the same bed can miss something as obvious as a haircut. And it goes both ways—it took her two days to notice that he’d shaved the mustache he’d worn for six months.
There is a danger in the familiar. It’s possible we become so familiar that we fail to really see.
This happened to me at church recently. The worship leader announced the hymn for the day: “It Is Well with My Soul,” and launched into the familiar story behind the song.
“Horatio Spafford’s wife and four daughters were sailing to England when a horrible storm arose. . .”
I’ve heard the story a hundred times. But that day, as I sang the words from the hymnal, I noticed something I’d never seen before.
Not a haircut or a mustache, I saw something that makes this precious hymn even more meaningful and deep: two quotation marks.
The last verse of the hymn reads:
And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
“Even so,” it is well with my soul.
A writer uses quotation marks to show he's quoting words from another source. And what was the source that brought Horatio Spafford comfort as he mourned the loss of his beloved daughters?
The Word of God.
“Even so,” is a quote from 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14.
As Horatio sailed the ocean that had swallowed his children, broke his wife’s heart, and plunged him into a deep, gut-wrenching grief, the Word of God spoke hope and comfort.“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.”
God used the truth Horatio Spafford had stored in his heart to speak comfort to his broken heart.
You will see your daughters again, the Holy Spirit whispered. Grieve, but don’t grieve as those who have no hope. You believe in Christ—that he conquered death, hell, and the grave. His resurrection proved that death could not hold him. Mourn your loved ones. Mourn them deeply, but fear not. You will see them again. They rest safely in the bosom of Jesus, and he will bring them with him on the last day.
“Even so,” it is well with my soul.
If you’re grieving the loss of someone you love today, may God give you eyes to see the familiar. May his Word give you comfort and hope.
May it be well with your soul.
“It is in the quiet crucible of your personal private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given in compensation for what you’ve been through.” ~Wintley Phipps
If you're reading this by email and would like to hear Wintley Phipps' version of "It Is Well with My Soul," CLICK HERE.
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May 12, 2018
My Imperfect Mother
My mom and me. Isn't she cute?I’m glad I don’t have a perfect mother. Can you imagine what it would be like to eat the dust from following that train? Instead, I have an authentic mother – one who did the best she knew how and trusted God with the rest.But my mom did a lot of things right. Today, on Mother’s Day, I thought I’d list a few.
1. She taught me there’s no shame in just being a mother.
She never went to college. She never dreamed of a career or sought professional recognition. From early on she aspired to be a wife and a mother, and she’s accomplished it gloriously – for 57 and 54 years respectively, and counting.
2. She showed me how to care for others.
Our family has a long history of looking out for their own. It's what we do. As a child, Mom saw her godmother care for her mother-in-law for 11 years following a stroke. Mm took her own mother, my grandmother, into her home until Granny’s health deteriorated to the point where she needed professional attention.
She babysat countless children, and every one of them tried to call her Mama. No surprise, really, because she loved them like her own.
When my first daughter was born, there was no question. Of course she would care for her while I worked part time. Unlike other new mothers who sobbed all the way to work that first day, it never occurred to me to cry. I knew my newborn was safer in my mother’s arms than in my own. This was one of the greatest gifts of my life.
3. She gave me the blessing of security.
She and dad stayed married, even when marriage wasn’t fun. It never once occurred to me that my parents might split up. Ever. That, too, was a great gift.
I never wondered if she’d be home when I got there. Or if there’d be food in the fridge, clean clothes, and someone to ask about my day. My sisters and I knew what we were having for dinner on any given day because Mom had a meal plan that included seven meals. Spaghetti day was my favorite. Hot dogs and beans not so much. There was that time when she cooked liver and tried to pass it off as steak, but I’ve forgiven her. Even the greatest can have a momentary lapse in judgment.
4. She’s loved me well.
I knew from an early age that my mom thought I was intelligent, creative, and clever, but she didn’t shower me with praise. It was just understood. She was proud of my accomplishments but never pushed. If I’d chosen mediocrity, she would have loved me the same. Knowing this gave me the freedom to achieve without the pressure to do so.
Sometimes even now I catch her bragging a bit about something I’ve accomplished. It makes me glad she has something to say. Every child, 5 or 50, wants to make her parents proud.
My mom gave me a gift in her imperfect mothering, one that, instead of excusing my own faulty attempts, makes me want to try harder. I know what an impact her influence has had on my life. If I can do as well as she did, I reason, perhaps my daughters and grandchildren will be similarly blessed. May God’s gracious hand make it so.
Thank you, God, for bypassing the perfect mom and giving me instead the perfect mom for me. She’s a gift I’ll never take for granted.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you!
"Every good and every perfect gift comes down from above, coming down from the Father of lights" (James 1:19).
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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
May 9, 2018
Pet Peeves and Power Words - Which Do You Share Most?
If I asked you to list five pet peeves in two minutes or less, could you do it?
Oh yeah. After a 90-minute commute in bumper-to-bumper traffic, I’ll take up that challenge with grumpy glee.1. People in the right lane who drive past the sign that says, “Right Lane Closed Ahead. Merge Left” until they can’t go any farther, then expect the sign-abiding people who merged left a mile ago to let them in.
2. Patients who show up late to a dental appointment, then spend 15 minutes chatting it up with the doctor before they mention their health concerns.
3. The automated checkout voice that prompts you (at ear-splitting decibel levels) to put the item you just scanned into the baggage area. Every. Single. Time.
4. The certainty that if I leave my house without makeup to run to the grocery store for one item, I will meet everyone I know – on Aisle 1. .
5 If a bird plops on my windshield, its deposit will land at eye level on whichever side of the car I’m sitting on – on the day I run out of wiper fluid.
There, that was easy. I think it took me less than a minute to list those five gripes.
Now, if someone asked me to list five things I appreciate, could I rattle them off as quickly? Or as passionately? Maybe not.
Humans are negative creatures by default. We have to cultivate character traits like gratitude and appreciation. They just don’t come naturally. Think about it. Which is more likely to come out of your mouth – a complaint about something your kids or your husband failed to do? Or a word of appreciation for something they did?
Consider your most recent restaurant experience. When the time came to figure the tip, did you scroll through all the ways your server met your needs or quickly list the ways she failed you?
Proverbs 25:11 reminds us, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” I wonder, how often do our words shine like gold?
My friend Lisa is an encourager. Every time we visit, she says something that makes me feel good. Her comments aren't just empty flattery, they're thoughtful and timely. She’s a great example of how to use encouragement as a mighty force for good.
Today is a new day. We get to choose whether we’ll use our words to build up or to tear down. If we want to be most like Jesus, instead of grumbling and fault-finding, we can channel our thoughts toward gratitude and affirmation. We can speak golden words that warm others with their glow.
I began this post with a list of pet peeves. I’d like to end it with a list of things for which I’m grateful. Then perhaps you’d join me by leaving a comment sharing what you appreciate.
If we begin each day with gratitude instead of grumbling, we’ll find it easier to carry the positive words into the rest of our day. Then we’ll be able to bless others. And isn’t that much better than griping and complaining?
I’m thankful for:
1. Kind smiles on strangers’ faces.
2. The way my tiniest granddaughter calls me, “my friend Gigi.”
3. Books that go beyond our hearts to touch our souls.
4. Early morning breezes.
5. Simple kindnesses.
Now it's your turn. For what are you thankful? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
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Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
May 6, 2018
"Lies Moms Believe" -- Book Review and Giveaway
Have you ever sincerely believed a lie? Oh, boy I have.
Some were simple and innocent. When I was very young, I believed dogs were male and cats were female. I don’t think anyone told me that. I just figured it out.
When I was a teenager, I believed my friends were smarter than my parents, I was going to marry my high school boyfriend, and if my good works outweighed my bad works, I’d go to heaven someday.
Adulthood cleared up those misconceptions, but brought with it a brand new batch of convincing lies. And then motherhood buried me in them.
I believed because I didn’t enjoy other people’s children, I wouldn’t be a good mother.
That the “experts” could do a better job teaching my children than I could.
That I was sacrificing my personal and professional development by staying home with my kids.
That some women were natural-born mothers, and the rest of us would always struggle.
Because I believed these lies, I often felt discouraged and defeated. I was hamstrung by forces I thought were beyond my control.
If I was more easy-going, my kids would be happier (and so would I). I have to choose between the structure I need and the freedom they need. We can’t have both. Because fun doesn't come naturally to me, my kids are missing out.
Like the Charleston, South Carolina biting gnats famous for tormenting tourists and natives alike, these lies would swarm around me looking for vulnerable spots and tender places to bite. I spent more than a few dark days pondering my inadequacies.
Now that I’m on the other side of active motherhood and further along in my Christian life, I recognize that many of the things I believed were bold-faced lies from Satan’s lips to my ears. This is why I jumped at the chance to review Rebekah Hargraves’ new book, Lies Moms Believe and How the Gospel Refutes Them.
In this easy-to-read, conversational book, Hargraves tackles 32 of the most common lies mothers believe and divides them into five categories: Lies about the work of motherhood, lies about how God views us as moms, lies about ourselves as moms, lies about our children, and lies about our parenting choices.
And Hargraves doesn’t pull any punches. Lie #1 will make your heart race just considering the implications that it might not be true:
Lie #1: Motherhood Is a Woman’s Highest Calling.
In addition to some of the lies I believed, she uses solid Scripture to debunk statements like:
I am to find my ultimate fulfillment in motherhood.
Mommy guilt is just something I have to live with.
My children would be better off having a different mom.
I’m selfish if I have any “me time,” or I need a lot of “me time.”
Then she boldly (but lovingly) calls us to consider that perhaps some of these statements aren’t true either:
Children are really expensive.
Children ruin a marriage.
And The most important thing is my child’s education.
What I appreciate most about Hargraves' book is how she goes about dismantling the lies – she counteracts them with the truth of Scripture. Second Corinthians 10:15 tells us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Scripture, and that’s what she does – somehow without being preachy or boring.
If you’ve ever struggled with discouraging mom thoughts, this book is for you. I believe in it so much that I’m willing to send a copy (with its accompanying Bible study workbook) to one lucky (United States) reader. To enter your name in the drawing, leave a comment on this post sharing one lie you’ve struggled with as a mom. At the end of the week, I’ll draw one name randomly from those who commented and announce the winner. Be sure to check back to see if you won. If I draw your name, I’ll need you to message me your mailing address.
Finally, let me leave you with an encouraging charge from the final page of Lies Moms Believe :
“When mommy guilt begins to weigh you down, I pray you will remember that, as my friend Tina says, 'Our scars are not who we are; His scars are.' When you are tempted to believe you are enough, I pray that you will remember instead that He is, and therein find your strength and the power needed for this journey of mothering. . . I hope you remember the beautiful words of Zephaniah 3:17 and embrace them as your own:
Rebekah Hargraves"The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
“The Lord is for you, mamma, and has fully equipped you for the high and holy calling of motherhood. You’ve got this! You can do it!”
If you're reading by email, CLICK HERE to visit Hungry for God online and leave a comment.
If you enjoyed this post, why not subscribe? I'll send you twice-weekly 5-minute devotions to help nourish your soul.
Because women need to connect with God in the craziness of life.
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If this post was meaningful to you, would you consider sharing it with a friend by clicking on one of the buttons below? Did you know you can receive bi-weekly Hungry for God posts sent directly to your email inbox? Visit http://www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com and click on the link in the right hand corner to Subscribe Via Email.
Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
Some were simple and innocent. When I was very young, I believed dogs were male and cats were female. I don’t think anyone told me that. I just figured it out.
When I was a teenager, I believed my friends were smarter than my parents, I was going to marry my high school boyfriend, and if my good works outweighed my bad works, I’d go to heaven someday.
Adulthood cleared up those misconceptions, but brought with it a brand new batch of convincing lies. And then motherhood buried me in them.
I believed because I didn’t enjoy other people’s children, I wouldn’t be a good mother. That the “experts” could do a better job teaching my children than I could.
That I was sacrificing my personal and professional development by staying home with my kids.
That some women were natural-born mothers, and the rest of us would always struggle.
Because I believed these lies, I often felt discouraged and defeated. I was hamstrung by forces I thought were beyond my control.
If I was more easy-going, my kids would be happier (and so would I). I have to choose between the structure I need and the freedom they need. We can’t have both. Because fun doesn't come naturally to me, my kids are missing out.
Like the Charleston, South Carolina biting gnats famous for tormenting tourists and natives alike, these lies would swarm around me looking for vulnerable spots and tender places to bite. I spent more than a few dark days pondering my inadequacies.
Now that I’m on the other side of active motherhood and further along in my Christian life, I recognize that many of the things I believed were bold-faced lies from Satan’s lips to my ears. This is why I jumped at the chance to review Rebekah Hargraves’ new book, Lies Moms Believe and How the Gospel Refutes Them. In this easy-to-read, conversational book, Hargraves tackles 32 of the most common lies mothers believe and divides them into five categories: Lies about the work of motherhood, lies about how God views us as moms, lies about ourselves as moms, lies about our children, and lies about our parenting choices.
And Hargraves doesn’t pull any punches. Lie #1 will make your heart race just considering the implications that it might not be true:
Lie #1: Motherhood Is a Woman’s Highest Calling.
In addition to some of the lies I believed, she uses solid Scripture to debunk statements like:
I am to find my ultimate fulfillment in motherhood.
Mommy guilt is just something I have to live with.
My children would be better off having a different mom.
I’m selfish if I have any “me time,” or I need a lot of “me time.”
Then she boldly (but lovingly) calls us to consider that perhaps some of these statements aren’t true either:
Children are really expensive.
Children ruin a marriage.
And The most important thing is my child’s education.
What I appreciate most about Hargraves' book is how she goes about dismantling the lies – she counteracts them with the truth of Scripture. Second Corinthians 10:15 tells us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Scripture, and that’s what she does – somehow without being preachy or boring.
If you’ve ever struggled with discouraging mom thoughts, this book is for you. I believe in it so much that I’m willing to send a copy (with its accompanying Bible study workbook) to one lucky (United States) reader. To enter your name in the drawing, leave a comment on this post sharing one lie you’ve struggled with as a mom. At the end of the week, I’ll draw one name randomly from those who commented and announce the winner. Be sure to check back to see if you won. If I draw your name, I’ll need you to message me your mailing address.
Finally, let me leave you with an encouraging charge from the final page of Lies Moms Believe :
“When mommy guilt begins to weigh you down, I pray you will remember that, as my friend Tina says, 'Our scars are not who we are; His scars are.' When you are tempted to believe you are enough, I pray that you will remember instead that He is, and therein find your strength and the power needed for this journey of mothering. . . I hope you remember the beautiful words of Zephaniah 3:17 and embrace them as your own:
Rebekah Hargraves"The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." “The Lord is for you, mamma, and has fully equipped you for the high and holy calling of motherhood. You’ve got this! You can do it!”
If you're reading by email, CLICK HERE to visit Hungry for God online and leave a comment.
If you enjoyed this post, why not subscribe? I'll send you twice-weekly 5-minute devotions to help nourish your soul.
Because women need to connect with God in the craziness of life.
Enter your email address and VALIDATE the Feedburner email sent to your inbox.
Delivered by FeedBurner
If this post was meaningful to you, would you consider sharing it with a friend by clicking on one of the buttons below? Did you know you can receive bi-weekly Hungry for God posts sent directly to your email inbox? Visit http://www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com and click on the link in the right hand corner to Subscribe Via Email.
Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
May 2, 2018
"Fear Not" -- Comfort with Teeth
A struggling friend once accused me of having a Pollyanna approach to life. You just think happy thoughts, look on the bright side, and focus on the good. You pretend the bad stuff doesn’t exists.
Seriously? Does she really think this is how Christians deal with trials?
If my husband came home with a frightening diagnosis or a pink slip in his lunch box, would I say, “Oh, don’t worry. Everything’s going to be fine”? Probably not.
I would, however, speak biblical truth to him – comfort with teeth. And a backbone.
I would speak one of the most common phrases in the Bible, “Fear not.” But I wouldn’t stop there.You see, “Fear not,” even when it comes from the Bible, isn’t enough. “Fear not” is only half the story. God’s repeated command to his children is powerful because of what comes afterthe command.
When we face times of trial, sickness, or loss, it isn’t enough to hear someone (even God) say, “Don’t be afraid.” We need to know why we don’t have to be afraid.
Thankfully, when God challenges us not to be afraid, he also tells us why.
Listen:
"Do not be afraid, (insert your name here). I am your shield, your very great reward." (Gen. 15:1).
“Fear not, for I am with you,” (Gen. 26:24).
“Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you," (Deu. 31:6).
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand,” (Isa. 41:10).
When God says, “Fear not” to his children, he backs it up with offers of his help, presence, and protection. No matter what comes into our lives, we don’t have to be afraid, because God is our advocate. Whatever we face, we’ll face with him. And he is a mighty powerful ally.
Will he protect me from every sad, bad, hard trial? No. As long as we live in this sinful, broken world, we will have tribulation. “But be of good cheer,” Jesus said, “I have overcome the world.”
"Do not be afraid,” he commands in the final book of the Bible, “I am the First and the Last,” (Rev. 1:17). In the end all will be made right. In the meantime, God will walk beside me into every trial I face. And with him by my side, I need not be afraid.
To my friend who called me a Pollyanna, I say, that’s powerful comfort – comfort with teeth. And a backbone.
For some musical reinforcement of "Fear Not," I know you'll enjoy Keith and Kristyn Geddy's "Consider the Stars." If you're reading by email and can't see the video, click here to listen to "Consider the Stars" on YouTube.
If you enjoyed this post, why not subscribe? I'll send you twice-weekly 5-minute devotions to help nourish your soul.
Because women need to connect with God in the craziness of life.
Enter your email address and VALIDATE the Feedburner email sent to your inbox.
Delivered by FeedBurner
If this post was meaningful to you, would you consider sharing it with a friend by clicking on one of the buttons below? Did you know you can receive bi-weekly Hungry for God posts sent directly to your email inbox? Visit http://www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com and click on the link in the right hand corner to Subscribe Via Email.
Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
Seriously? Does she really think this is how Christians deal with trials?
If my husband came home with a frightening diagnosis or a pink slip in his lunch box, would I say, “Oh, don’t worry. Everything’s going to be fine”? Probably not.I would, however, speak biblical truth to him – comfort with teeth. And a backbone.
I would speak one of the most common phrases in the Bible, “Fear not.” But I wouldn’t stop there.You see, “Fear not,” even when it comes from the Bible, isn’t enough. “Fear not” is only half the story. God’s repeated command to his children is powerful because of what comes afterthe command.
When we face times of trial, sickness, or loss, it isn’t enough to hear someone (even God) say, “Don’t be afraid.” We need to know why we don’t have to be afraid.
Thankfully, when God challenges us not to be afraid, he also tells us why.
Listen:
"Do not be afraid, (insert your name here). I am your shield, your very great reward." (Gen. 15:1).
“Fear not, for I am with you,” (Gen. 26:24).
“Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you," (Deu. 31:6).
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand,” (Isa. 41:10).
When God says, “Fear not” to his children, he backs it up with offers of his help, presence, and protection. No matter what comes into our lives, we don’t have to be afraid, because God is our advocate. Whatever we face, we’ll face with him. And he is a mighty powerful ally.
Will he protect me from every sad, bad, hard trial? No. As long as we live in this sinful, broken world, we will have tribulation. “But be of good cheer,” Jesus said, “I have overcome the world.”
"Do not be afraid,” he commands in the final book of the Bible, “I am the First and the Last,” (Rev. 1:17). In the end all will be made right. In the meantime, God will walk beside me into every trial I face. And with him by my side, I need not be afraid.
To my friend who called me a Pollyanna, I say, that’s powerful comfort – comfort with teeth. And a backbone.
For some musical reinforcement of "Fear Not," I know you'll enjoy Keith and Kristyn Geddy's "Consider the Stars." If you're reading by email and can't see the video, click here to listen to "Consider the Stars" on YouTube.
If you enjoyed this post, why not subscribe? I'll send you twice-weekly 5-minute devotions to help nourish your soul.
Because women need to connect with God in the craziness of life.
Enter your email address and VALIDATE the Feedburner email sent to your inbox.
Delivered by FeedBurner
If this post was meaningful to you, would you consider sharing it with a friend by clicking on one of the buttons below? Did you know you can receive bi-weekly Hungry for God posts sent directly to your email inbox? Visit http://www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com and click on the link in the right hand corner to Subscribe Via Email.
Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
April 29, 2018
The Spanking I Deserved
“Spank me! Spank me! I need you to spank me!” I was 6-years-old, and I had done something mean-spirited and selfish. The details escape my memory, but the intensity of my guilt and shame do not. I was a good girl, but under my generally compliant disposition lurked a selfishness I continue to fight to this day.
On that fateful day, my father called me on it, but because I was usually obedient, he was reluctant to punish me. Most kids would have been delighted by this, as my husband points out every time I tell this story, but not me. My sensitive soul knew I had sinned, and without loving discipline and punishment, there would be no absolution. No freedom from guilt. No peace.
“Spank me! Spank me! I need you to spank me,” I cried to my father, pointing to the switch usually reserved for my less-obedient sister.
My father knew little of the biblical principles of repentance and forgiveness, so what could have been a valuable teaching moment left him bewildered. He reluctantly took the switch and gave me a few gentle swats on my backside, then hugged me tightly as I sobbed in relief.
“. . . your rod and your staff, they comfort me,” says Psalm 23:4.
Now that I’m a believer, I understand what David the shepherd-boy meant when he penned this beloved psalm.
Sometimes I sin against others, and ultimately, against my spiritual Father. And although Christ absolved me of my sin on the cross, he continues to correct my behavior and conform me to his image. Sometimes he uses his Shepherd’s crook to guide me gently back from the edge of destruction. Other times he uses a stronger form of correction--his Shepherd’s rod. Both instruments and methods are effective tools in a loving Father’s hand, but the rod definitely hurts more. Natural consequences of our sinful decisions can affect us for years (speeding tickets, financial loss, or health problems). Spiritual consequences can do the same (lost trust, opportunities, or our testimonies).
However God manifests his discipline, his actions are evidence of our relationship with him. Like any good father, he cannot and will not allow his children to continue to sin without correcting us. He loves us too much. This should give us great comfort.
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." (Heb. 12:5-6).
Long ago, my 6-year-old soul knew this—that if my father loved me, he wouldn’t allow me to continue to sin. My 50-year-old soul gains great comfort from this as well. What about you?
Are you experiencing the Lord’s discipline because of sinful actions? I encourage you to do whatever it takes to make things right with others and with God, then rejoice, because God loves you enough to correct you.
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May I tell you about my book,
Hungry for God … Starving for Time, 5-Minute Devotions for Busy Women?
Today's women want to connect with God, but in the craziness of life, it’s just not happening. You want practical, biblical answers to situations you face every day, but you don’t have hours to pore over Scripture.
You need a resource that answers the questions you’re afraid to ask out loud. Questions like:
• Is my situation hopeless?
• If God already knows what he’s going to do, why bother to pray?
• Why have you allowed this to happen to me?
• No one appreciates what I do. Why shouldn’t I quit?
Each devotion begins with a Facetime question and ends with a biblical answer wrapped in a modern day parable. Like a spiritual power bar, Hungry for God … Starving for Time is packed with enough scriptural nutrition to get you through the day. Wherever you are—in break rooms, carpool lines, or wherever you can snatch five minutes of quiet reflection—Hungry for God … Starving for Time, 5-Minute Devotions for Busy Women is for you. If this post was meaningful to you, would you consider sharing it with a friend by clicking on one of the buttons below? Did you know you can receive bi-weekly Hungry for God posts sent directly to your email inbox? Visit http://www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com and click on the link in the right hand corner to Subscribe Via Email.
Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
April 27, 2018
Powerful Hope When You're Ready to Quit Praying
What is your most long-standing unanswered prayer?
I have friends who have been praying for decades for their children's salvation. And friends who have labored for years over their daughters’ infertility.
One of my neighbors prays daily for researchers to find a cure for a disease that has the power to kill two of his grandchildren before they reach age 30. He’s been praying this prayer for eleven years.
I pray every day for beloved prodigals, broken relationships, and healing.
Sometimes I grow weary.
When I don’t see results, I wonder if my prayers are accomplishing anything. Might my time and energy be better spent doing something? In my darkest times of doubt, I wonder if God is even listening. Or if he cares.
Do you ever feel this way?
Then Luke 18:1 is a special gift for us today.
“Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.”
I take great comfort in knowing that Jesus knew I’d grow weary in prayer. Not only that, but he inspired the gospel writer Luke to pen Scripture with me (and you) in mind -- so I wouldn’t give up.
“Keep praying,” he says. “I hear you. Your prayers matter. I’m knitting them into the fabric of events, and one day it will all make sense. And it will be beautiful. Trust me. Don’t give up.”
If you’ve labored long over a loved one, a circumstance, or a need, take a deep breath. Cry if you need to. Then ask God for the faith to persevere. He will have his perfect will and way, and I want to be a part of that.
Don’t you?
I want to pray with you for your deepest need. Leave a comment in the box below and tell me how. If you're reading by email, click HERE to visit Hungry for God online and leave a comment.
For extra encouragement, I hope you enjoy Lauren Daigle's "I Will Trust in You." If you're reading by email and can't see the video, CLICK HERE.
If you enjoyed this post, why not subscribe? I'll send you twice-weekly 5-minute devotions to help nourish your soul.
Because women need to connect with God in the craziness of life.
Enter your email address and VALIDATE the Feedburner email sent to your inbox.
Delivered by FeedBurner
If this post was meaningful to you, would you consider sharing it with a friend by clicking on one of the buttons below? Did you know you can receive bi-weekly Hungry for God posts sent directly to your email inbox? Visit http://www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com and click on the link in the right hand corner to Subscribe Via Email.
Copyright 2012 by Lori Hatcher
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A place to refresh your faith, hope, and prayers with 5-minute weekly posts.
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