Dave Barry's Blog, page 206

EVERYBODY OUT OF CANADA *NOW*

B.C. has a problem: Goldfish as large as a football are rapidly cloning themselves

(Thanks to B&C)

BECAUSE ALL THIS TIME YOU���VE BEEN WONDERING

Adam West's Frantic Batman Performance Was All Because Of Some Itchy Tights

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

HOOT COURT

Owl swoops into courtroom, sends magistrate 'running out screaming'

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Guess who put him up to it.")

WAKE UP, CANADA

Squirrel in equipment causes downtown Edmonds power outage Wednesday afternoon

(Thanks to EricY)

WE ASSUME THEY'LL USE A DELOREAN

Scientists Are Preparing to Create a Traversable Quantum Wormhole

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, who says "These scientists have never been to the movies.")

IF PEPPERONI WAS INVOLVED, IT'S A FELONY

A Summerfield man was arrested after allegedly slapping a woman���s face with a slice of pizza during an argument.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

THE GOOD NEWS: THEY'RE ABOVE-AVERAGE DRIVERS

Florida's Burmese python population explodes, and USGS says it's 'likely impossible' to eradicate them

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

WE ASKED CHATGPT, AND IT SAID: 'THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. YOU CAN TRUST ME!'

In San Francisco, some people wonder when A.I. will kill us all

(Thanks to EricY, who says "If the squirrels don't get us first.")

NO WORD ON HOW MANY GIRAFFES IT IS

Asteroid to fly between Earth and the Moon this week: report

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

HELP YOURSELF

Crocodile joins picnic, steals cooler box

(Thanks to John Lobert and Ralph)