Dave Barry's Blog, page 115

ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

Huge asteroid the size of the Leaning Tower of Pisa flew closer to Earth than the MOON this month

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

THERE IS JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD

Housewife who repeatedly called her husband and his friends as they watched football together demanding to know when he would be home is convicted of harassment

(Thanks to Roberto)

IT IS EVERY BIT AS ATTRACTIVE AS IT SOUNDS

A Los Angeles teen who designed and made a Marie Antoinette-style prom dress completely out of duct tape was named Wednesday as the winner of a national scholarship contest.

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

THIS GOOD DEED WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED

Stuck squirrel rescued from toilet paper tube

(Thanks to John Lobert)

STORYBOOK ENDING OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Woman gored by bison at Yellowstone on proposal trip gets engaged in hospital

(Thanks to John Lobert)

'WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?'

Man who stole 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs jailed for 18 months

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS IS THIS KIND OF CRAP

Four women involved in chaotic semi-naked Las Vegas brawl were fighting over the same married man

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who notes that "He wasn't even there.")

AND IN GOLF

A flying passerby sparked a momentary pause in play after it pooped on Viktor Hovland at the Open Championship.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service plans to indict two Fairbanks, Alaska, residents for operating an illegal outfitting business involving bear hunting, prostitutes, and gallbladders.

(Thanks to Glenn Nelson)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Lioness believed to be on loose in Berlin

(Thanks to Nicholas Read)