James Scouller's Blog, page 10
June 27, 2014
Leadership & The Act of Will: Part 2
This is the second in a series of five blog articles on the act of will. The act of will is the art of getting personal things done. All leaders, ultimately, have to get things done and this is why it’s so helpful for them to understand that the act of will is a process with six stages.
The act of will is not just a matter of deciding or choosing, as some people think. There is more to it than that. Roberto Assagioli outlined the six stages of the act of will in his book, The Act of Will nearly fifty years ago. His six stages were:
1. Purpose (or aim or goal)/evaluation/motivation/intent
2. Deliberation
3. Choice and decision
4. Strengthening faith/conviction/certainty
5. Planning
6. Directing the execution
In this article, we’ll look at the first stage: Purpose / Aim/ Goal – based on Evaluation, Motivation and Intent.
The act of will always involves a purpose, a vision or a goal you want to reach. But although this is the beginning, it’s not yet will in action as it remains in the realm of imagination.
If you are to act on the purpose, you must evaluate it – meaning you will assess how important it is to you. And for you to act, the evaluation must arouse motives strong enough to create a powerful intent to achieve the goal.
What arouses the motives? Your values. Your values are beliefs about what is important to you, what you care about most and, therefore, what naturally motivate you. Thus, your values are the mould on which sit your most naturally motivating goals.
This first stage is more complex than it looks as it can come about in more ways than one, which Assagioli explained when he wrote:
“In the … [first] stage, four elements have been grouped because they are interrelated in such a way that they should not be treated as different stages. In fact, a purpose is the will to reach a goal, an objective; but a goal is not such if it is not regarded as valuable. Similarly, a motive is not a motive if it does not “move,” if it does not impel toward a goal. And the direction of the motive is given by intention.
Moreover, these aspects do not always succeed each other in a fixed order. Sometimes a motive or an intention appears first to the consciousness, for example, a prompting toward some ideal not yet clear or defined. Or one becomes aware of a moral, social, aesthetic, or religious value, which only later becomes connected to an aim, a specific goal to be achieved. At other times the vision comes first, the intuitive flash, the illumination that reveals a goal or a task to which a value is then attributed; and this arouses the motives which urge toward actualisation and the intention to achieve it. Thus there can be a variety of dynamic relationships among purpose, evaluation, motive and intention.”
( The Act Of Will by Roberto Assagioli, Psychosynthesis & Education Trust, 1974, pp.140-141.)
This stage is crucial, yet few leaders understand it. For if they are to engage others commitment to act, they must connect with others values. The goal or vision or mission or whatever you want to call it must be something that their colleagues care about, it must motivate them. Failing to choose a purpose or goal that others don’t really care about is the first step towards failure. Yes, you can use force or deception to motivate others for a while, but what happens when they encounter obstacles? The chances are their motivation will dip and they’ll abandon you.
In part 3 we will look at the second stage: Deliberation.
The author is James Scouller, an executive coach. His book, The Three Levels of Leadership: How to Develop Your Leadership Presence, Knowhow and Skill, was published in May 2011. You can learn more about it at www.three-levels-of-leadership.com. If you want to see its reviews, click here: leadership book reviews. If you want to know where to buy it, click HERE. You can read more about his executive coaching services at The Scouller Partnership’s website.
June 15, 2014
Leadership & The Act of Will: Part 1
This is the first in a series of five blog articles on the act of will. The act of will is the art of getting things done. All leaders, ultimately, have to get things done and this is why it’s so helpful for them to understand that the act of will is a process with six stages.
The act of will is not just a matter of deciding or choosing, as some people think. There is more to it than that. Roberto Assagioli outlined the six stages of the act of will in his book, The Act of Will nearly fifty years ago. His six stages were:
1. Purpose (or aim or goal)/evaluation/motivation/intent
2. Deliberation
3. Choice and decision
4. Strengthening faith/conviction/certainty
5. Planning
6. Directing the execution
Before explaining them, I’d like to make two points:
Not Every Stage Is Needed
Not every act of will follows these stages consciously – or needs to follow them – because your aims or problems may not demand such thoroughness, perhaps because what you’re aiming to do is so simple or familiar.
What he outlined was a model of complete, purposeful action because some important acts of will demand careful thought and step-by-step execution.
Not Every Stage Is Equally Important
The six stages aren’t equally important in every act of will.
One act of will may demand close attention to one stage and hardly any to the others. Another may stress different stages.
So for example, a student leaving university may have to spend much time pondering her career goals and deliberating on the alternatives. After that, the decision may come easily and assuming her choice fits her talents and values well, she may have no doubts over her ability to reach her goal – meaning the faith/conviction/certainty stage would need no attention. Perhaps she will spend some time on working up a plan, but not use much energy on directing herself as she’s so motivated.
A top professional tennis player, on the other hand, may have a clear goal to win Wimbledon and spend no time on deliberation and making a choice, nor have difficulty in working out a plan or sticking to it. But he may doubt his ability to reach this prize, in which case working on faith, conviction and certainty would be the key for him.
Next, in part 2, we’ll look at the first of Assagioli’s six stages of the Act of Will: Purpose /Aim /Goal.
June 5, 2014
Responsibility and Leadership
Over the last five years, many leaders have told me stories about performance issues with a colleague. In essence, the person isn’t performing well and the leader is unhappy about it. I’ll usually ask them what they’ve already tried and they’ll either tell me they haven’t raised the issue, or they have, but they’ve used vague language and not said what they really wanted to say. Either way, the underperformance continues because they’ve avoided the problem.
When I ask why they typically say, “I can’t do or say so-and-so because he/she will feel hurt or they will lose confidence.” When I probe further, the truth eventually emerges:
They don’t want to tell their truth because they are afraid of the other person’s reaction.
And, at a deeper level, they don’t want to feel bad about themselves – they don’t want to feel they’ve done or said something unpleasant and thus feel they’ve been nasty.
This is a common dilemma for leaders. But what’s the way out? This matters because if the leader doesn’t act, he or she isn’t leading.
There’s more than one solution, but here I’ll suggest one insight that clients have found useful. It’s the difference between the “responsibility for” and the “responsibility to”.
You see, every leader has a responsibility to their group, team or organisation to do the best they can to provide leadership. This includes talking honestly with people when their performance undermines the group’s potential or results. But in talking honestly the leader has a responsibility to the other person to say what they want to say skilfully, powerfully and respectfully, without ducking issues, while trying to hold a two-way connection.
But here’s the key point: the leader has a responsibility to the organisation and the other person to be open, but he or she does not have a responsibility for the other person’s reaction. Once you’ve discharged your responsibility to the other person as best you can, he or she is responsible for their reaction.
When this insight lands, it can transform the leader, especially if he or she understands why we migrate across the invisible border between “responsibility to” and “responsibility for”.
In my view, “responsibility for” is a psychological distortion of the leader’s legitimate “responsibility to”. So a deeper understanding, I find, makes it less likely they’ll get caught by the “responsibility for” trap.
So why do we get caught into taking responsibility for others’ reactions to us? Usually because there’s something negative (often unrecognised) that we believe about ourselves.
For example, we may believe that although we’re good at our jobs, we’re also unattractive in some way and therefore open to the threat of being rejected. Perhaps we see ourselves as ruthless, a bully, overambitious or, alternatively, we may view ourselves as dull, grey, bland and uninteresting. Thus, our thinking goes, if we reveal these unattractive qualities by being too open we may get – indeed we probably will get – a reaction we don’t want from other people. They may become angry, hostile and start criticising us. Or they may feel angry, but give us the silent treatment, simmering with resentment. Either way, it’s a reaction we don’t like because it confirms what we already knew (or rather believed): that at heart we’re not innately likeable or attractive and are always one step away from the pain of rejection.
So we adopt defence mechanisms to prevent ourselves having this unpleasant experience. One classic defence among senior executives is to not speak our truth. By withholding, we believe we’re less likely to upset the other person and therefore less likely to be rejected. The problem, of course, is that we fail to deliver as a leader by ducking a key responsibility.
Whatever it is we believe about ourselves, we have an attachment to avoiding an unpleasant outcome (usually rejection). But that attachment only comes about because, deep down, we feel negatively about ourselves.
Of course, if leaders want to be completely free of a tendency to wander into the “responsibility for” zone they must unearth and dissolve their most limiting self-image beliefs, but that’s another discussion. Yet the point I’m making is that simply being aware of the difference between “responsibility for” and responsibility to” can make life much easier for leaders.
May 5, 2014
Discerning Between Self and False Self Impulses
After The Three Levels of Leadership came out in 2011, readers followed up with questions on leadership, leadership psychology and self-mastery – all of them interesting. So interesting, in fact, that I’m releasing my answers here as they supplement the “Three Levels” material and others may find them useful. Here’s the thirteenth in the series. I’ll post the others over the coming months…
Q13. How do you discern between a False Self impulse and truth?
A. “In other words, how do you know if your feelings or an urge to act spring from the real you, the Self, or instead from the sum total of your limiting beliefs, which I call the False Self?
The short answer is, you use your intuition to discern the difference.
Intuition is that sense of knowing without step-by-step reasoning and without being contaminated by the filter of prejudice. I explained more about intuition in chapter 5 of The Three Levels of Leadership and in this earlier blog article here.
Of course, that leads us to the question: how do you develop your intuition?
The answer is that you have to practise stilling your mind so you can hear (or notice) your intuition.
That’s when the twin practices of Self Enquiry (perhaps, but not necessarily, working with an executive coach) and Mindfulness Meditation are very helpful.
If you want to know more about these, either click the Tool Downloads tab at the top of your screen or click here to go to the Tool Downloads page. Then click items 5 and 6 to receive free PDF outlines explaining how to practise each method.
Remember, neither method offers a quick fix, but stick at it faithfully (which means daily practice) and as the months go by you will notice changes in yourself. More specifically, in your ability to choose your intellectual, emotional and behavioural response to outer events under pressure.”
March 2, 2014
What Is The Link Between Emotion And Leadership?
After The Three Levels of Leadership came out in 2011, readers followed up with questions on leadership, leadership psychology and self-mastery – all of them interesting. So interesting, in fact, that I’m releasing my answers here as they supplement the “Three Levels” material and others may find them useful. Here’s the twelfth in the series. I’ll post the others over the coming months…
Q12. What is the link between emotion and leadership?
You Are More Than Your Mind
“You as a Self have a mind, but you are not your mind, you are more than your mind – as you experienced in the exercise this afternoon when I asked you to concentrate on an object. Your mind is your creative tool. It’s the sandbox in which you play; in which you connect with others, express yourself, learn and grow as you go through life.
Four Levels of Mind
Now I explained that in the model I use with clients (the model I’ve described in chapter 8 of The Three Levels of Leadership) your mind has four levels: Higher Mental Mind, Lower Mental Mind, Emotional Mind and Physical Mind.
You could see these as four grades of mental energy, vibrating, if you like, at different rates, but interpenetrating the same space, just like the energies of the electromagnetic spectrum. For example, you have TV and radio signals passing through your bodies right now.
Higher mental mind is where you create and store your most abstract, fundamental beliefs about yourself and the world. It is also the source of your ability to think abstractly – to handle abstract concepts like love, freedom, leadership and beauty – and see patterns and connections among what would otherwise be separate pieces of data.
Lower mental mind is where you create and hold your beliefs about your capabilities; about what you are capable of doing and achieving in this world. It’s also the source of your ability to think more concretely, to colour in the detail of your abstract thinking.
Emotional mind is where your lower and higher mental thought energy is put into motion – which is what enables you to act on your thoughts. Emotional mind is also the source of your beliefs about what is right and wrong. Emotion exists to give intensity, direction and texture to your thoughts and beliefs so they feel real, so you want to act on them. But emotion is also there to give you information because if you’re feeling something, that gives you clues to your underlying thoughts and beliefs. (By the way, the fact that your emotions offer you information comes as a surprise to many managers, in my experience.)
Physical mind is where mind meets brain. This is where you have the electro-chemical activity of the brain. And physical mind houses your field of conscious awareness – the thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and so on that you are aware of from moment to moment.
A Tool of the Self
Now with this background in mind I hope you can see that emotion is simply one of the four levels of mental energy. It’s essential for helping you translate thoughts into actions.
So what’s the link between emotion and leadership? It is an essential tool of the Self. For it allows you to connect with others by helping you feel what they are feeling. It is therefore the foundation of empathy.
It also allows you to connect with the more unconscious levels of your mind by telling you something about yourself – usually about something you believe in relation to what’s happening around you.
And, of course, it’s essential to connect with your emotions if you want to translate your ideas into action and, indeed, want others to act on your ideas – which will mean you will need emotional content in how you communicate. For if you want others to act, you will need to move them emotionally. In other words, you will need to have an emotional effect on them.
All this is popularly known as emotional intelligence. Good leaders realise the importance of emotional intelligence intuitively even if they don’t understand it consciously.”
What Is The Link Between Emotion & Leadership?
After The Three Levels of Leadership came out in 2011, readers followed up with questions on leadership, leadership psychology and self-mastery – all of them interesting. So interesting, in fact, that I’m releasing my answers here as they supplement the “Three Levels” material and others may find them useful. Here’s the twelfth in the series. I’ll post the others over the coming months…
Q12. What is the link between emotion and leadership?
You Are More Than Your Mind
“You as a Self have a mind, but you are not your mind, you are more than your mind – as you experienced in the exercise this afternoon when I asked you to concentrate on an object. Your mind is your creative tool. It’s the sandbox in which you play; in which you connect with others, express yourself, learn and grow as you go through life.
Four Levels of Mind
Now I explained that in the model I use with clients (the model I’ve described in chapter 8 of The Three Levels of Leadership) your mind has four levels: Higher Mental Mind, Lower Mental Mind, Emotional Mind and Physical Mind.
You could see these as four grades of mental energy, vibrating, if you like, at different rates, but interpenetrating the same space, just like the energies of the electromagnetic spectrum. For example, you have TV and radio signals passing through your bodies right now.
Higher mental mind is where you create and store your most abstract, fundamental beliefs about yourself and the world. It is also the source of your ability to think abstractly – to handle abstract concepts like love, freedom, leadership and beauty – and see patterns and connections among what would otherwise be separate pieces of data.
Lower mental mind is where you create and hold your beliefs about your capabilities; about what you are capable of doing and achieving in this world. It’s also the source of your ability to think more concretely, to colour in the detail of your abstract thinking.
Emotional mind is where your lower and higher mental thought energy is put into motion – which is what enables you to act on your thoughts. Emotional mind is also the source of your beliefs about what is right and wrong. Emotion exists to give intensity, direction and texture to your thoughts and beliefs so they feel real, so you want to act on them. But emotion is also there to give you information because if you’re feeling something, that gives you clues to your underlying thoughts and beliefs. (By the way, the fact that your emotions offer you information comes as a surprise to many managers, in my experience.)
Physical mind is where mind meets brain. This is where you have the electro-chemical activity of the brain. And physical mind houses your field of conscious awareness – the thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and so on that you are aware of from moment to moment.
A Tool of the Self
Now with this background in mind I hope you can see that emotion is simply one of the four levels of mental energy. It’s essential for helping you translate thoughts into actions.
So what’s the link between emotion and leadership? It is an essential tool of the Self. For it allows you to connect with others by helping you feel what they are feeling. It is therefore the foundation of empathy.
It also allows you to connect with the more unconscious levels of your mind by telling you something about yourself – usually about something you believe in relation to what’s happening around you.
And, of course, it’s essential to connect with your emotions if you want to translate your ideas into action and, indeed, want others to act on your ideas – which will mean you will need emotional content in how you communicate. For if you want others to act, you will need to move them emotionally. In other words, you will need to have an emotional effect on them.
All this is popularly known as emotional intelligence. Good leaders realise the importance of emotional intelligence intuitively even if they don’t understand it consciously.”
December 6, 2013
What We Can Learn From Mandela’s Greatness As A Leader
Nelson Mandela died yesterday, Thursday 5th December 2013, at the age of 95. He will have a state funeral that millions around the world will no doubt watch. So what is it about Mandela that made him a great leader and, more usefully, what can we learn from his example to grow ourselves as leaders?
Above all, perhaps, we can learn that greatness is not inborn, but is created in the crucible of self-aware, self-willed experience. For the Mandela who entered prison in 1963 was not the man that emerged in 1990.
His closest ally, Oliver Tambo, talking in the early 1960s, described him in this way: “As a man, Nelson Mandela is passionate, emotional, sensitive, quickly stung to bitterness and retaliation by insults and patronage.”
Yet 30 years later people would talk of his “air of majesty”; his extraordinary dignity, repose and stillness; the remarkable absence of bitterness and the powerful sense of forgiveness, understanding and compassion; and his “golden, luminous presence”. Richard Stengel, his biographer, commented on the effect of being in his presence in this way: “You felt a little taller, a little finer.”
These characteristics of the post-release Mandela had a remarkable impact on those he met, which is partly why he’s seen as a great leader. The most extraordinary effects were on those who previously considered him their chief enemy.
Like Kobie Coetsee, South African Minister of Justice in the last 14 years of apartheid. When interviewed by a journalist years later, he wept as he recalled Mandela’s “nobility”.
Then there is Nïel Barnard, who was head of South African Intelligence during the 1980s and early 1990s. At the time, many saw Barnard as a sinister figure. Yet some years after Mandela’s release he talked fondly of him as “the old man”.
And perhaps most remarkable of all was the case of Constand Viljoen, head of the South African Defence Force between 1980 and 1985. He went on, in the early 1990s, to become leader of a far Right resistance movement preparing for terrorist war against a Mandela-led democratic government. Then Mandela met him secretly, which led Viljoen to abandon his plans. A reporter recalls seeing him at the opening of the new parliament at the moment Mandela entered the chamber. He reported that Viljoen’s “eyes shone with the purist’s devotion”. Viljoen later confirmed in an interview that this interpretation was correct. By then, for Viljoen, a farmer long-retired from politics, Mandela was a hero.
But he didn’t just affect individuals, which I refer to as “private leadership”. He could influence and win the trust of tens of millions at a time of extraordinary tension. In other words, he was strong on “public leadership” too. That’s why he was a great leader.
Mandela’s positive effect on the whole South African nation, especially the whites, probably stemmed from the way he addressed the nation on TV in 1993, a year before he became president, after Chris Hani, leader of the ANC, was assassinated. He said, “Tonight I am reaching out to every single South African, black and white, from the very depths of my being… Now is the time for all South Africans to stand together against those who, from any quarter, wish to destroy what Chris Hani gave his life for – the freedom of all of us.”
How did Mandela, previously jailed as a saboteur and enemy of the state, become like this – a man for everyone in South Africa; a man trusted by all; a man who could stop bitterness and revenge in its tracks and lead people on a path to non-violent reconciliation? And what can this tell us about how to become the greatest leader we can be?
Surely it tells us that he used his prison experience as the anvil on which he forged his character… and that we can use our experiences, however difficult, to do the same.
What happened in prison? I suggest that he learned to control the only thing he could control: himself. In other words, he learned to control his reactions to whatever was happening around him and to him. Thus, he developed what I have described in The Three Levels of Leadership as the first quality of pure leadership presence: Personal Power.
But he did more than that. He also developed the fourth quality of presence: Balance. Balance is a powerful sense of will, of purpose, refined by sensitivity to the dignity, rights, free will and importance of other people. It emerges as the will to serve. Archbishop Desmond Tutu recognised this balance when he said of Mandela, “Like the true leader that he was, he led for the sake of the led and not what he got out of it.”
The key, I feel, if we’re to use Nelson Mandela as an inspiration for our growth as leaders, is not to see him as a saint, the like of which we can’t match, or a perfect leader.
Those who knew him well insisted that he wasn’t a saint. There are stories of infidelities during his first marriage and his coolness towards his children. Indeed, Mandela himself said more than once, “I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.” As a leader, his failure to consult ministers before announcing policy decisions seemingly infuriated them and made them feel undermined; and his poor judgement in appointing old friends to high office – and reluctance to remove them when they underperformed – attracted criticism.
The point is that we don’t have to be perfect as leaders. Perfection is just a man-made mental construction that’s of no use to us in our quest to be the best leaders we can be. Nelson Mandela showed us that it’s best to cast aside the idea of perfection, accept that perhaps we weren’t at our best in the past, take our own development in hand – hopefully, without the need to spend three decades to in prison – and forge our character, values and vision anew.
Thus, we first learn to lead ourselves. And then in leading ourselves, we’re better placed to lead and serve others.
November 14, 2013
Influence versus Manipulation
This is a short case study on how an unhelpful, fuzzy mental model can block leaders from asserting themselves wisely and skilfully. In this instance it was to do with what the client felt about “influence” and “manipulation”.
The CEO’s Initial Problem
Last year, an executive coaching client, a CEO, complained to me that her direct reports (and others) deluged her with data, often copying her in on emails, memo and reports she felt she didn’t need to know about. This all left her feeling “overloaded” (her word).
However, as we talked more, she realised that for years she’d sent out the classic senior manager’s message: “I don’t want surprises.” So guess what. She didn’t get surprises! Because everyone was determined to tell her every detail so they could never be accused of surprising her. After all, they could always claim, “But I told you; it was in the email/report I sent you.”
Changing Their Behaviour
That led us to talk about what she might do to prompt a change in their behaviour.
We discussed how important it was for her to first clarify her intent and be clear on what she wanted… and check that what she wanted was wise, that is, that it would bring her the benefits she wanted without unpleasant side-effects. After all, that’s exactly what had happened with her “no surprises” edict – she got something she didn’t want (too much information) as well as no surprises.
Then we talked about expressing what she wanted from her colleagues communications-wise, making sure she included emotional content (perhaps her feelings about being overloaded). She realised that if she included her feelings, it’s more likely her colleagues would see her as a real person, empathise with her and adjust their behaviour. For one of the many problems that CEOs face is that their people don’t see them as real flesh and blood human beings with their own hopes, fears and aspirations. This is very common, I find.
Hidden Mental Model
Intellectually, she knew what she had to do, but there was a mental barrier. She asked, “In trying to change their behaviour towards me, isn’t this manipulation?”
There was something about the way she used the word “manipulation” that suggested she was judging it negatively. On querying it, she did indeed feel badly about manipulation. We learned that in her mind she held a model, a continuum, with influence at the “good end” and manipulation at the “bad end”, like this:
The trouble was, she couldn’t distinguish between “influence” and “manipulation” and this was inhibiting her from asserting herself and telling her colleagues how she wanted them to behave towards her when it came to information.
Cleaning Up The Mental Model
As we talked it through, she managed to distinguish between influence and manipulation as follows:
Armed with this distinction, she felt ready to express what she wanted from her colleagues with a clear intent, while revealing how “information overload” affected her emotionally (and making sure they didn’t flip too far the other way).
This “influence versus manipulation” block is something I suspect inhibits other leaders from acting assertively. So I hope in telling this story that some readers will feel able to break out of their self-created mental prisons and be the leaders they want to be.
November 4, 2013
Connecting Without Over-Analysing Others
After The Three Levels of Leadership came out in 2011, readers followed up with questions on leadership, leadership psychology and self-mastery – all of them interesting. So interesting, in fact, that I’m releasing my answers here as they supplement the “Three Levels” material and others may find them useful. Here’s the eleventh in the series. I’ll post the others over the coming months…
Q11. How do I connect with others without over-psychoanalysing myself and them?
“The short answer is: let your true Self flow.
But that’s easier said than done, for how many people are letting their true Selves flow? Very few, I suggest.
When a river is prevented from flowing it’s only because there is some kind of obstruction in the way. Perhaps some large rocks. And it’s the same with your psychology. When you as a Self can’t flow, can’t express yourself naturally in a way that’s powerful, wise and helpful, it’s because there are obstructions in your psychology. Those obstructions are your false, limiting beliefs. In other words, your False Self.
So if you want to connect with others consistently you’ll have to learn and understand what is in your psychological container – your mind – that’s getting in the way and let go of these obstructions. Thus, you will have to take the time to know yourself. You may call that psychoanalysing yourself. I call it simply knowing yourself.
As you come to know yourself better and learn to discern your limiting beliefs (i.e. obstructions) and let them go, you will find you become better at understanding other people. For they are not so different from you as you might have thought. Everybody’s versions of the main psychological issues are unique, but from my coaching experience I find the underlying themes are society-wide.
I’m not sure what you mean by “over-psychoanalysing yourself and others”. So I find it hard to comment on that part of the question. But what I can say is this. Concentrate on working on yourself, on understanding yourself and letting your false limiting beliefs go, and you will find it becomes easier to connect with more people at will.
But take note: it’s not about becoming a brilliant psychoanalyst of others; it’s about understanding and mastering your mind and its contents. In other words, it’s about self-mastery.”
September 10, 2013
Can The False Self’s Beliefs Motivate You?
After The Three Levels of Leadership came out in 2011, readers followed up with questions on leadership, leadership psychology and self-mastery – all of them interesting. So interesting, in fact, that I’m releasing my answers here as they supplement the “Three Levels” material and others may find them useful. Here’s the tenth in the series. I’ll post the others over the coming months…
Q10. Can the False Self ‘s beliefs motivate you?
“The short answer is yes…
Two Types of Motivation
You need to understand that there are only two basic forms of motivation. The first you could call “towards” motivation. The second is “away from” motivation.
“Towards” motivation involves you moving towards a goal, a target, a purpose or an aim that’s important to you – one that reflects your true Self values.
But “away from” motivation is about avoiding events, circumstances or results you want to avoid.
Can you see that “away from” motivation is driven by fear? And what’s the hallmark emotion of the False Self? It is fear. Yes, sometimes you will find pride, but the principal False Self emotion is fear. Thus, the False Self is very good at providing fear-based motivation.
An Example
Let’s take a practical example so you can see this mechanism in action…
Many leaders feel deep down that they’re not good enough for their role so they fear exposure as a fraud – being revealed as not good enough. So for them the experience of getting something wrong, making a mistake or failing is horrendous. Failure simply isn’t an option for them.
So now a person like this becomes attached to the opposite of failure – to achieving success in whatever way they define and measure success. Thus, he or she is motivated to attain whatever success means to them. In this way the False Self provides energy; it provides the motivation to act.
The Problem With False Self Motivation
What’s the problem you might ask? Surely, if it provides motivation that’s good enough, isn’t it?
Well, yes, it does indeed provide motivation. But it’s motivation tinged by fear. And thus the person with “away from” motivation is always frightened of slippage, of something going wrong, of missing the target.
So this person is always on his guard, always tense. There’s always a layer of nervousness and stress and this provides interference when the going gets tough – as it always does at times in organisational life – which can lead you to make poor decisions and behave unskilfully. That’s when your leadership presence is no longer there. That’s when those around you will sense your fear and guess what? Your power to lead will begin to slip, you’ll lose the regard of your colleagues (we used to call them followers) and gradually execution of your organisation’s key initiatives will start to slip.
For when you’re in the grip of the False Self you’re not choosing your responses to events or others’ behaviour, you’re simply driven by old patterns. But you’re pretending to be in control. And that’s not just inauthentic, it’s hard work. In fact, it’s exhausting.
A Never-Ending Treadmill
That’s not the only problem. You see, even if you achieve your target, if your mind is gripped by the idea that you’re not good enough, you will be on an endless treadmill. Because no success will ever be enough.
You have to keep running, you have to keep succeeding because otherwise you’ll be reminded of the belief you hold in Higher Mental Mind: that you are simply not good enough. And it’s deeply shameful, deeply painful, to hold a belief like this. So many people try to push it away by constantly succeeding, by constantly doing better than others. But it’s exhausting, it’s stressful, it is never-ending and it makes it impossible to lead from a position of real presence – it always threatens to undermine your mental and emotional resilience.
So yes, False Self beliefs can indeed motivate you. But the question is, do you want them to motivate you? Do you want them to be your dominant form of motivation? Do you want to be a victim of them? If you don’t, then I suggest you follow the path of self-mastery.”
