Evan Dorkin's Blog, page 37

Art on E-Bay

We have put up another round of artwork on e-Bay, for folks to potentially bid on and help keep the House of Fun funded to some degree.

This time around there's a nice Bill and Ted's semi-splash page inked by Stephen DeStefano (from issue #2),  a page from the Kamandi story I drew for Bizarro World, a Milk and Cheese trading card cel, a lot of 8 or so designs, mouth/expression charts and stuff from the Welcome to Eltingville pilot, that Unus the Untouchable pin-up I recently posted here, a Mad Magazine illustration and some Superman Adventures designs (Solomon Grundy from an unfinished pitch and General Zod from the first Supergirl comic we wrote). I also put up one of the little "Monster" drawings I've done, a rejected version of "Der Kommisar" (I finished it but decided to re-do it, don't remember why) .

You can see the auctions here.

Thanks for your time and attention.

So, The Object Of The Game Is To Capture Junior Tracy In The Act Of Sodomizing a Scottie Dog..?

Once unmasked as the game's master sodomy villains, you as Mr. Super Detective gets to punish them with your official ridiculous-size Super Detective Magnifying Glass -- using the sun's very own rays to burn a hole through the enemy's dastardly brains.

Who wouldn't want to play such a wonderful Mystery Card Game as Dick Tracy, Super Detective? 

Crime Stoppers: Would You Wear These?

Height of Cool?



Or Depths of Ridicule?

My Brand? Why, It's --

-- of course!

The Time is Nigh For The Return of The Fudge Judge

It's been a while. Always good to see you, Fudge Judge.



Don't be such a stranger.

Hellboy/Beasts of Burden, and Whatever Else Might Be On Your Mind

Any comments or questions regarding the Hellboy/Beasts of Burden crossover, or, as the subject indicates, anything else, let me know down below. Buy any comics besides ours? Have tickets to see Pee Wee Herman in NYC? (I'm jealous, if you do). How's your halloween costume going, y'know, that "drunken person" outfit you're working on? Seen any good movies, read any good books for pumpkin season? Finding that thar Throwback Pepsi-Cola easily enough?

Me? Been busy working on the (late, but getting there and looking pretty okay) Yo Gabba Gabba strips, been tired, been on a rotten schedule, been unable to come up with any decent blog posts, been working on stuff I owe people, been junking more of the collection. Been trying to watch the old Karloff Mummy for Halloween, haven't had time to sit down long enough. Halloween is all about Emily nowadays, anyway, which is more than fine, bit I do miss thew ye olde days of Shocktober at the Lawgiver's, watching horror DVD's and running the foul mouth like a busted tap. I have ben able to read some horror books and comics, mostly in short bursts, some Lovecraft-based stories from old pulps and fanzines (partly for Halloween, partly for "mood" research for what I hope will be an eventual Beasts of Burden story centering on Dymphna and some of the non-dog characters), that Fantagraphics pre-code horror comic anthology. Fun stuff. I've been listening to a lot -- perhaps too much - old time horror radio and mystery shows. I'm exhausting the output, delving into UK and Australian and South African series, BBC serials and shows and readings of short stories and whatnot. Been drawing, and at times it gets boring, so I find these old shows quite alluring.

Sort of a poem, that last bit. Sort of a stupid poem. Sit down, Mr. Dorkin. That wil be quite enough of that.

Anyway, I hope folks liked the comic book if they picked it up/read it at the store/pirated it/shoplifted it/borrowed it. My sincere thanks to Mike Mignola for the crossover idea and for lending us his biggest contract star (not to mention his alternate cover), to my partner Jill Thompson for her always wonderful artwork which brings Burden Hill to life, to Jason Arthur for the lettering under pressure, and to our crackerjack editorial team -- Scott Allie, Sierra Hahn and Freddye Lins. Not to mention, thanks to Sarah for her assistance and advice. And anyone else at DHC who had a hand or lent a paw towards getting this nail-biter production of a comic onto the shelves on time, despite the odds against it.

I have no idea when Jill and I are going to get another Beasts of Burden comic done. Hopefully we'll have something out in 2011, fingers crossed. We shall see.

Latersville, gang. Have a safe and happy Halloween. It's the bestest holiday there is.

Hellboy/Beasts of Burden One-Shot Out Wednesday 10/27

I hope folks enjoy what Jill, Mike, DHC and I put together for you for Halloween. 





Take care.

Some More Simpsons Treehouse Art

Page 4 pencils:



Page 15, inked, with colors by Sarah:



Other than the opener, this is the only page where we lost some visuals due to the lettering (or, rather, due to my dense script).

Anyway, thanks to those of you who picked up this year's Treehouse from Bongo, and those of you out there who chimed in on the story. I'm glad some folks enjoyed it.

Some Comics For Sale

Hey, kids --  as we're cleaning, culling, organizing and mulling, some items from the HOF coffers are cropping up that we're going to offer up for sale here on the blog rather than eBay to see if anyone wants them or if we donate them to the Center For Cartoon Studies, or the Salvation Army. Or just burn them for winter heating.

First up are a few golden age Marvel Masterworks hardcover collections. All of these are variant versions (meaning the dust jackets match the original Masterworks editions) and are in great shape. Read once, shelved or boxed up afterward. Published at $55, we're asking $25 which includes media mail shipping.

What's up for grabs:

1) Golden Age Sub-Mariner Comics Vol 1 HC variant edition, Bill Everett, Paul Gustavson (Masterworks vol 47, collects SM #1-4)

2) Golden Age Human Torch Comics Vol 1 HC variant edition, Carl Burgos, Bill Everett, (Masterworks vol 51, collects HT #2-5a)

3) Golden Age Marvel Mystery Comics Vol 2 HC variant edition, Bill Everett, Carl Burgos, Irwin Hasen, et al  (Masterworks vol 60, collects MMC #5-8)

Also available:

4) Roy Rogers Archives vol 1 HC- Dark Horse -  $15 with media mail shipping
If anyone wants any of these, drop me an e-mail at -  evandorkin at gmail dot com -  (or click on the "Write Evan" link on the left and down a bit), please put "BOOK SALE" in the subject if you can, and let me know what you'd like. First come, first served.

If anyone wants more than one item we'll calculate a new shipping amount for the combined books. If you wish to use a different USPS shipping service (Priority Mail, etc), we can calculate that as well.

PLEASE NOTE: We're accepting Paypal only (sorry if that doesn't work for you), and only shipping to the Continental U.S (also sorry).

Guess that's it. We have some other books and comic lots I might toss on the chopping block in the near-future. Possibly some stuff from my files, things we've worked on and have too many copies of. I'm not sure what we have left. We'll also putting some more HOF art up on eBay soon, just FYI. Everything counts in small-to-moderate amounts.

Thanks for reading the ad.

Latersville, folks.

Can't Touch This

And then there's this guy.

Let's get the obvious, inevitable juvenile stuff out of the way before we get into any unforeseen juvenile nonsense: You know who this is, right? And you know his name, right? Yeah, that name.

Unus. Unus The Untouchable.

I'm sure every Real Frantic Marvelite Zombie has called this idiot Anus The Untouchable at one time or another. I mean, could it even be helped? We're all human (except for those lizard people who run the world, but let's be reasonable here, folks) and sometimes these things can't be helped, even if we're trying our best to act civilized and upper class like the appalled gentry in the "Would you please pass the jelly?" Polaner All-Fruit Spread commercial. It can't just be me that eyeballed the name "Unus" for the first time and immediately saw that "U" morph into an "A", leading to a giggle fit.  It can't be just me who wondered just what the hell Smilin' Stan and Jolly Jack were thinking. I mean, besides:

STAN: Gotta get this book done, Jack.
JACK: I know, I know. Gimme a minute. Okay...we did a magnetic guy, a vanishing guy...a fast guy, a fat guy...so...how about ...uhhhh, an untouchable guy?
STAN: An untouchable guy? What do you mean?
JACK: (gesturing with his hands to evoke a force field around himself) Yknow, he's got a force field or something. Nobody can get to him if he don't want them to.
STAN: Huh. Untouchable. Okay, not bad. What'll we name him?
JACK: I dunno. How about something like...Onus?
STAN: Aha! That's it! Unus! Unus the Untouchable! 
JACK: It's O --

Stan CLAPS Jack on the back as he moves towards the door, throwing his sports coat over his shoulder.

STAN: Okay, Jack, go home and make some magic! I gotta get going, got a licensing meeting with Marty!
JACK: Hey, uh, Stan, about that thing I asked you about, y'know  --
STAN: Can't, Jack! Gotta go! Gotta go!

The door SLAMS as Stan exits the office.

STAN (os, fading): I'm gone! Excelsior!

Jack stares at the door for a beat or two. Nothing moves in the silent office save for his cigar, playing back and forth in his clenched jaw.

JACK: Asshole.

Anyway, is.anyone a fan of this Unus guy? Really? You're lying. You are! It's UNUS fer chrissakes! Nobody draws Unus unless they have to, or they're stupid and want to make fun of Unus on their lame blog. UNUS!

Listen to me!

I'm not sure, and I'm not looking it up or worrying about it any, but besides his name being stupid -- it might actually be his actual birth name, for all we know while reading his first lame appearance in X-Men # Whatever-the-Fuck. Unus was this doof's ring name in the professional wrasslin' game, as exciting a handle as Bastion Booger or The Red Rooster. Actually, it might be more exciting than The Red Rooster. Actually, it is, but so is "Mr Wrestling 2". Or, "Dondi". So, before Unus became a boring super-villain, he was called Unus by his friends, loved ones and associates. As in, "Hey, Unus, while you're up, get me a beer, too!". "Unus, my man, hey, it's been a while!". "I'm sorry Unus, but we're repossessing your vibrating bed.".Is Unus a first name or a last name? Johnny Unus? Unus O'Brian? Dondi Stuart Unus?

I say thee ewww. I'd rather be called "Dorkin" than "Unus". And I hate that name.  That...that name of mine.

Wait a minute. Back it up.

Another wrestling digression, with feeling: Being untouchable, I have to say, is a very, very boring wrestling gimmick. I'd have rather watched Gorgeous George or Tricky Ricky Starr any god-damn-day than this dopus standing there while his opponents don't touch him. He stands there, and somehow is a popular attraction. "Tonight! See --Unus The Untouchable --Not Get Touched!" They say them tickets sell like hotcakes, Joe, like hotcakes. I say bullshit, Joe, because this premise DOES NOT WORK. Wrestling, like boxing and pornography, is all about people getting touched, getting touched with style. Or...something. Wrestling is not about not-touching. So, Unus as a big draw, nuts to that. He'd be covered in tossed plastic cups and half-eaten hot dogs in the middle of the ring. Or not covered, I guess, clearly he wouldn't want to let that stuff touch him, because he's not a monster heel like, say, Scott Hall, who in his prime (?) could work with a beer tossed in his face. Anyway, I don't believe in Unus as a wrestler, and this doesn't allow me to believe in him as a super-villain. So there.

And it doesn't help Unus' case any that his origin stinks. His origin is...oh, hot diggity, it's that old lazy standby, the comic book writer's friend -- he's a mutant. No origin story. Unless you count being asked to be evil an origin story:

PANEL ONE
MASTERMIND is talking to Unus in his trailer.

1) MASTERMIND: So, Unus...want to be evil?
2) UNUS: I dunno. I gotta think about it.
3) MASTERMIND: Oh. Um. Okay.

PANEL TWO
On Mastermind, fists clenched, thinking to himself.

4) MASTERMIND (thought balloon) Bah! I wasn't prepared for things to turn out this way! 
5) MASTERMIND (thought balloon): Must report back -- to Magneto!

Whatever.

Unus wears stupid wrestling gear, which, by and large, translates into stupid evil gear: Black trunks with an odd design that might look comfy in an Erik Von Daniken book, worn over itchy-looking longjohns. Or something. The longjohns have a turtleneck collar. I guess Unus can be touched by sudden chills and drafts. His boots are okay. Wrestling boots are almost always okay, as long as they don' t have fringe on them. You may notice I have a lot more to say about professional wrestling than Unus The Untouchable. He's dishwater dull, this fellow. A silly gimmick, a terrible name, a boring costume, a nothing personality. I'd be surprised if they made a Heroclix of this guy. Uninteresting. Uninspired. Double-plus ungood. Unus is in the same sinking lifeboat with the Vanisher and The Toad, in my opinion, two other mutant mishaps whose main ability is to bore readers. And since this is my blog, my opinion counts more than anyone else's, yes, even more than the late Donald O'Connor's.

So.

Unus stinks. I wouldn't touch him with a you-know-what. Those lines I drew around him? Yeah, they could be taken for a visualization of his force field in effect. They could also be traditional stink-waves emanating off his stinky ol' self. You know where I stand.

Away from Unus. Far, far away from Unus.

I thank you.