Evan Dorkin's Blog, page 36

Beasts of Burden: Animal Rites 2nd Printing Now Available

The second printing of Beasts of Burden: Animal Rites is now available at Amazon (Thanks to Dusty for the heads up!).

Here's a handy link to the Amazon listing.

Comic shops and book sellers should have it next Wednesday (apparently some shops already started receiving copies, such as Bergen St Comics in Brooklyn, NYC). And of course there are stores that still have copies left of the first printing on their shelves. So, if any of you H.O.F. faithful were thinking of picking up a gift copy or wanted to pick it up, there you go. 

Thanks to Dark Horse for getting the book back into print so soon and to the readers and retailers who helped move the first printing.

If I hadn't mentioned it before, Jill and I are working on some new short stories for 2011, and I'm hoping we'll be able to get another one shot in as well to keep things moving along. We'll see what the coming year has to offer up. First 2010 has to die the miserable death it deserves.


 

I've Got Spies

This was the H.O.F.'s contribution to the Mad Magazine Special devoted to Antonio Prohias' wonderful Spy vs Spy characters. As a fan of the strip from childhood, I have to admit I was pretty geeked out to have been asked to do one of the five new pin-ups included in the Special (the others are by Peter Bagge, Bob Staake, Tom Bunk and Jim Lee). I think Sarah and I did a pretty good job of it, to be honest -- it's rare that I do something I'm really happy with, but this is one of those times.

I ended up drawing a lot more Spies than we needed for the background, I could have drawn a dozen more, I was having a really good time with it. I thought I drew a lot but the Tom Bunk piece out-details all of us combined by far -- he turned in a two-page spread of scores of Spies and death contraptions, a Grand Guignol ala Rube Goldberg and Prohias. Pretty intense.

BTW -- This is a low-resolution image, kids! Buy a copy -- it's still on supermarket shelves! We've seen copies in our local Stop And Shop. Sorta kinda maybe CHEAP!

Tell them Evan Dorkin sent you -- and they'll say, "Who the %$&#! is that?"

Brooklyn Comics and Graphics Festival Rundown/Rambling

I had a terrific time at the BCGF yesterday, the show had a great vibe, a lot of energy, a lot of folks walking in, some off the street unaware the event was taking place until they walked past it. This included a few local cartoonists and comics fans.  I ended up bunking with Jim Rugg and his friend Jason Lex for much of the show, which turned out to be fortunate as I sold enough books and crafts to cover Crushy's follow-up vet visit, more or less. So, thanks to Jim for sharing some table space. And it was great talking comics and movies and art and girls and high school and conventions and industry dirt and doings with Jim and Jason after the event at a local pizza joint. We were still at it on a windy corner  for fifteen freezing minutes before we headed off.

Speaking of speaking about comics, Irwin Hasen was unable to attend as expected, so Paul Pope, Dan Nadel and I just talked old cartoonists for a while. Paul was pretty sick with a cold, Dan's polite, so I did my talking bit for a reason, for a change. I enjoyed it and while the audience was stone still silent for stretches of time, they seemed to wake up here and there and enjoy parts of the discussion. Even when promoted to chime in the folks mostly clammed up. I had fun, hey, looking at Roy Crane and Toth slides and whatnot and shooting the shit, I can talk comics until the comics industry comes down around my ears. And then keep talking.

I met (surprise-presence at the show) Matt Groening for the second time, albeit this time around it was less embarrassing and pleasant, as I didn't stammer and yammer nervously in front of him as I did many SDCC's ago.  I mostly listened to him and Dan Nadel speak, when introduced by Dan I mentioned I was doing stuff for Bongo and he thanked me and I thanked him for their generous page rates and then I listened to him tell Dan about his hotel woes and schedule. He's right regular for an icon and super-successful entertainment industry person, at least that's the quick impression.

While I was doing the panel Groening had walked past Jason and Jim's set-up and had seen the Treehouse of Horror copies I had on display -- he signed them and they all sold while Jason and Amber Delaney (who is a member of the Comic geek Speak podcast and was super-helpful and great to talk to) were sweet enough to cover my sales while I was away from the table. And I have one Groening-signed copy for my own, duh-haw, huh huh. We all agreed I did better at the table when I was away which I guess speaks towards their sparkling personalities and my, uh, well, personality. Seriously, though, I wasn't a jerk at all, yesterday. Unless anyone thinks otherwise. I even smiled a bunch of times, as Calvin Reid duly recorded for the Publisher's Weekly twitter feed. I wasn't able to display any art either at Jim's table or the Picturebox table while signing there, so staying up until 3 a.m. prepping the portfolios was...well, not a great use of time, in hindsight, and a sleep-killer. But I did need to organize the art for updating the website and listing some things on eBay, so, hey, it got done. I sold a lot of copies of Beasts of Burden and the Hellboy crossover, surprising as I was really the only straightforward genre guy at the festival (as far as the guest list went, but overall as well) besides Pope, and he straddles the art/genre fence in a manner I don't. So, yeah, I felt a little weird, especially signing next to Sammy Harkham and plopping down my stuff in-between a horde of honest-to-gosh art comics and books. But hey, I signed a lot of stuff, more than at the NYCC by far. Even signed a hardcover of Animal Rites or two, some Bill and Ted's trades, a few copies of World's Funnest and several copies of the Wednesday Comics HC. One never knows. I was busy all day, laughed a lot, did a small number of sketches (including a color-penciled version of Japanese icon Booska, which I quite liked) had a swell time and only felt nervous or out of place or intimidated a few times. Maybe when I'm 50 I'll get some worry-free sleep before a show, it gets better as I get older.

Got to walk and talk with the super-cool Mad-man Ryan Flanders, spoke very briefly to Charles Burns, wanted to talk to Doug Allen but wasn't sure which fella behind the table was Allen and which was Gary Lieb and got anxious about looking stupid and never walked up and committed after floating by three times. Never got to meet Lynda Barry. Was late to the party once again and got to Kate Beaton's table too late to buy a copy of her book. Saw Kim Deitch but never got to say hello, Ditto Nick Bertozzi. Caught up with Mr. Stephen Charles Manale who was doing terrific $2 caricatures to attendees while selling prints and not nearly enough books (shame on you folks). OMG Lauren Weinstein and Tim Hodler's daughter is adorable. Waved hello to Matt Madden in passing. Caught up with Dustin Harbin and bought his diary comics, he gave me an original strip-- ye gods does he work super-small and Hunt 102-tight on those babies. Amazing (shame on folks for not gobbling up these beauties at only $10 a pop!). Always good to see Bob Schreck and Randy there, nice surprise to see them. Good to briefly see Scott Eder and the artwork he had on display, always a draw-dropping array of stuff that makes me wish I had a trust fund for original art. Talked briefly to Sammy Harkham about Kramer's #7, listened as he discussed the next Kramer's with a few readers. Saw a lot of fabulous work (which I wasn't in a position to buy, unfortunately), and felt that the idea of a curated show definitely has advantages in certain respects to an open-invite show like MOCCA. Not a shot across the bow comment or a slag, mind you, the phrase "certain respects" was carefully chosen. Each approach has advantages and disadvantages, but speaking to the content and timbre of the work on exhibition, a curated event will always have a stronger thrust, even if you don't cotton to the choices. I did. I thought the material and artwork on display was invigorating and I wish I could have sampled something from just about every table. Really wanted to pick up the Gluyas Williams and Percy Crosby book/portfolios at the Rosedbud Archives table, who also had information on a planned Percy Crosby Skippy project.  And a host of books and minis from folks I'd not heard of looked inviting. But the dough was earmarked for Crushy, two slices of pizza and a beer, and the all-mighty gas and toll fund. Did you know the Verazzano Bridge is now $11? What a world, the Bloomberg NYC Mall. One nice plus -- free parking on the street. Sweet. They'll meter those curbsides soon, I'm sure.

Oh, I did get a batch of neat-looking freebie books from Robin McConnell (whose excellent-looking Inkstuds book of cartoonist interviews is out), whose publisher told him to give out books from the line when the show was in the closing stages. He didn't seem to have much left (from anecdotal evidence, and what a few folks told me, sales seemed to be pretty strong. People went home with less, it seemed, unless they re-stocked with new comics bought from exhibitors) and I look forward to going through the titles I made off with, including Children of the Atom by Dave Lapp, Lillian the Legend by Kerry Byrne, The Big Book of Wag by Joe Ollman and Ruts and Gullies by Phillipe Girard. Bill Roundy gave me one of his Bar Scrawl minis, and a few attendees tossed me minis and previews.

And I'm certainly forgetting some folks I spoke to, met, or annoyed, and for that I apologize.

Nuts and bolts stuff: Liked the venue well enough, clean, semi-charming, the lights in the gymnasium were old-school yellow-creepy-dim, but it wasn't too cold or too hot and the crowds only became stifling a few times as folks flowed through pretty well and the panels were held downstairs. Only real complaint was the discussions were on the other side of a large space downstairs where the Asian-Style Hot Dog concession was set up, the chatter from folks eating and talking and ordering and milling about  made it tough to be heard during the panel despite the use of microphones. Since the event was free, the tardy and the curious were still waltzing in as late as 8:3o, taking programs and bags and hitting the tables. Did I mention I parked for free? Always cool. 

So, yeah, good time. Wish I had enough energy to have attended the after-party, my neck and back were killing me by 7 pm, and my eyes were giving me problems, I was tired. But happy. Even sleeping badly and having to slap on the neck-brace in the wee hours of the night didn't dampen the good feeling. Still feel like crap, but them's the breaks.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to say hi and get something signed, pick something up, wish Crushy well, give Sarah and Emily their best, say nice things about Beasts of Burden, etc.  All appreciated.

Now back to work, cleaning up, catching up, and as much Alleve and Pepsi Throwback as I can stand.

A Few Things

Here's my schedule for tomorrow's Brooklyn Comics and Graphics Festival:

3-4: Signing
4-5: Panel: When Comics Were New
5-6: Signing

The signings will be at the Picturebox tables. The panel is being re-purposed, unfortunately Irwin Hasen, who was the focus of the talk, has bowed out due to feeling under the weather. As it stands now, the panel will now basically be Paul Pope, Dan Nadel and myself open-mike kibitzing about comics while we all look at slides of various cartoonists' work. Sounds like it could be fun, certainly the three folks involved have opinions on this and that, we'll see what happens.

I'm planning on bringing some artwork and some comics which will be made available during the signings. I'm packing up copies of the Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror, individual issues of Beasts of Burden and the Hellboy/Beasts of Burden crossover, possibly a copy or two of the Beasts of Burden hard cover, and a few odds and ends from my SLG output. I haven't received my comps of the Liberty Comics Annual yet, apparently Image dropped the ball on that and the CBLDF is stepping in to get those out to contributors. So, I won't have any of those on hand. I think that's everything, book-wise. Oh, I also might bring some HOF items along, we still have some book marks, buttons and pencil cases left. I'm not sure how things will be set up and what I can display without making a logistical mess of things.

I think that covers tomorrow's doings. Hope some of you will be there, it looks to be a cool event. I may even be able to attend a panel or two for the first time in ages. Or I'll just sabotage Jim Rugg's table all day, I dunno.  I'm thinking about becoming a Convention Gremlin as part of my new heel persona.

Otherwise:

I finished up a guest cover for a DHC comic yet to be announced.

The Super-Martian-Robot-Girl strips are all done for the Oni Yo Gabba Gabba! anthology (I may have posted that already, sorry).

I'll be appearing/signing at Comic Book Jones on Dec 18th as part of their 3rd anniversary celebration. Not sure who else will be appearing, I'll have links and info asap.

I've been told by a reliable source at Dark Horse Comics that the second printing of the Beasts of Burden: Animal Rites hardcover arrives at Diamond on 12/7, and will be in stores that ordered it on 12/14.  So it's a potential gift item after all. Maybe. .

Speaking of Beasts of Burden, I'm currently working on the script for a new short story for 2011. And maybe some other stuff. More on that later. Maybe.

I'm also finally beginning to draw a Bart Simpson 10-pager I wrote last year.

Also juggling in some commissions, hoping to get those out to folks as soon as I can.

I just received a copy of Superman Archives volume 8 from DC Comics. Because I wrote the introduction. Yeah, I know, weird.  See, Mr. Mxyzptlk debuted in the time-frame covered in the book, which caused reprint editor Scott Nybakken to think about irritating characters, which is how my name came up. For the record, I tried not to promote myself in the introduction, encapsulate the plots of every story in the book, include spoilers, use any exclamation points to punch up a sentence, or the hoary old manfan-phrases "ish", "mag" or "ye" anything. You're welcome. There is, however, one typo in the introduction. Not my fault.

To those folks who ordered artwork during the Crushy the Cat Telethon, thanks again, the art will start to go out Monday. We hope to have the art page updated with new items fairly soon.

Finally, I've put up a small set of cartoonist photographs on my Flickr account, which I will be adding to by and by. Something to do, I guess.

Here's George McManus, creator of Bringing Up Father. He was successful, talented, prosperous and famous. Can you imagine?



Over and out.

Winston

Our Thanks

I'd like to thank the folks out there who've helped us out with our cat Crushy's vet bill -- those who bought art or donated funds, those who have sent along their well-wishes and those who helped spread the word about our situation. Crushy is still with us, and hopefully will be for at least a little while. He's not in an emergency situation but it's obviously late in the third act, as it were, and the curtain is closing soon. How soon, we don't know. He's losing weight and he's slowing down. We have medicine for his eye and his high blood pressure, which is what has caused the bleeding in his eye. His retina is okay and his eye isn't scratched or damaged, which obviously is good. We need to take him back to the vet in a week to see if anything's changed. We're spoiling him with attention and giving him a lot of love. And we'll see how it goes. 

For those who purchased artwork from us, we'll be sending orders out asap, we picked up more envelopes and supplies today. We hope to add more art to the online list as soon as we can, and there will likely be some e-Bay art auctions set up soon as well.

In the meantime, Sarah has set up a page to sell the last of our 2010 H.O.F. Crafts of Fun -- Devil Puppet hand puppets, Milk and Cheese pencil cases, bookmarks, buttons and magnets. These items were produced for the 2010 con season and we're offering what's left through the mail.  I also may bring some of these items to the Brooklyn Comics and Graphics Festival this Saturday. FYI, there's only 3 Devil Puppets left, and when they're gone, they're most likely gone for good. I don't think Sarah's planning on making any more of those. Actually, I don't know if we're making any of this stuff again. Maybe the buttons. I dunno.

Anyway, here's a drawing I did for a friend's website a while back. It never got used and it's of a cat. Take it away, cat:




That's not a middle finger for you, folks. Honest. You've been peachy.

Thanks.

Art For Sale For Our Cat's Sake

Our cat, Crushinto, aka Crushy, aka The Orphan, has to go to the vet tomorrow, he's got blood in his eye and it could be from high blood pressure, from some kind of trauma he's suffered, or from the effects of age and winding down. Whatever it is, we'd of course like to have him examined and we're in a financial crunch at the moment and so in an effort to come up with the necessary funds for an exam we've dropped the prices on our art for sale page and will be putting up some e-bay auctions of art (and stuff) asap. We'll also have more art available up on the website asap and if anyone is looking for something they aren't seeing please feel free to ask.  I'll also be happy to take commissions if anyone's interested, they'll take some time owing to prior commitments but I figured I'd throw that out there. Prices vary, the average Milk and Cheese commission piece I do in b&w is around $200, but I can do smaller stuff, whatever.

We'll be taking Crushy in tomorrow whatever happens, as he needs to be looked at. The situation isn't good because if he needs expensive treatment we're not in a position to take care of that, as much as we love him. We also don't want to drag out his time if he's in bad shape, we don't think that's fair to an animal and we went through that accidentally with a misdiagnosis on our cat, Pixie, who was far sicker than just the thyroid condition we were having him treated for. Crushy's at least 13 (we'll never know exactly, as we rescued him from the street after he was abandoned by neighbors, which is why he was called "The Orphan", and where the name/character came from for the orange tabby in Beasts of Burden), it's very possible he's just leaving us, it's his time, and this is the last night we'll have with him. But we obviously want to make sure of what the situation is, it could possibly be high blood pressure and the medicine might be something we can scrape up month-to-month. We're unfortunately in freelancer cash flow purgatory during what has been a tough year (decade). Anyway, I know there are far more dire emergencies and greater causes out there, we're not looking for any handouts, just seeing if anyone wants some of our stuff cheaper than it usually goes for. Our art sales always go towards paying the bills, this one just happens to involve our pet who's going through his own rough time. We want to do right by him, it's not his fault we're not doing better. 

Okay. Thanks for your time. Hopefully we won't have to post this sort of thing again. And hopefully tomorrow won't be as awful as I'm afraid it might be. Fingers crossed.

What We've Been Up To Lately

WORK

We turned in our two Super-Martian-Robot-Girl stories for the Oni Yo Gabba Gabba! anthology. Late, unfortunately, even after a delayed start that was not of our doing, I ended up drawing more than I had expected/planned, costing us time and giving Sarah a lot to color. Less than the Simpson's job, more than I'd have liked. Maybe trying to put as many characters into the second strip finale wasn't the best idea, but I just couldn't  leave out some of the monsters and whatnot from the cartoon episodes. I'm a helpless fanboy slob when it comes to those things, what can I say? But it looks good.

According to the Comiclist website, the second printing of Beasts of Burden: Animal Rites is shipping Dec 22nd, 2010. I hope that's the case, it would be great to have that available again sooner rather than later. Even Amazon's out of it now. Speaking of Beasts of Burden, I'm starting work on some new short story scripts around the start of the new year. No schedule or dates set yet, as soon as I can say more I'll say more.

Between then and now I'm finishing up a guest cover for DHC and then drawing a ten-page Bart Simpson story that I wrote for Bongo some time last year. I might start work on some anthology stuff and some more licensed character stuff in the next few weeks, not sure how that's shaping up.

The Mad Spy Vs. Spy Special is out now, featuring pin-ups by Bob Staake, Peter Bagge, Tom Bunk, Jim Lee and Sarah and myself. I'm really happy with the way our piece came out, and Emily is now a Spy Vs Spy fan after reading the Special. I haven't shown her the Complete Spy vs Spy book that we were sent as reference yet.

NOT WORK

I read and enjoyed Lucky in Love, by George Chiefeet and Stephen DeStefano, published by Fantagraphics. Great book, with world-class virtuoso cartooning, makes me wish the second book was imminent. Stephen is a friend and I didn't pay for the book but that doesn't affect my opinion of the work. The story is fun and engaging, sometimes depressing and at times riveting, detailing the life of a small Italian-American named Lucky and his travails growing up -- his family life, his friends, women (and the lack thereof), his  (non-combat) service in World War 2. It also deals with truth and its permutations, how we fool ourselves and others,  Hollywood "truth", military distortion, misconception, white lies, bullshitting amongst friends, lying to make others feel better, self-deception, corruption. The art evokes Kurtzman and Gross and even Tezuka in the design of one female character, intentional or not. But it's all DeStefano brilliance, classic construction, composition, depiction, distortion, exaggeration, gesture, line work, design, detail -- the ditched airplane dream sequence alone is worth the price of admission, a terrific sequence that might make you think of a lost Frontline Combat  nightmare without the set piece feeling like a superficial fan homage. Other than a little heavy-handedness here and there in the script I had no problems with this little gem. Check it out if you like comics.

I lost my wallet. Considering the state of things, and the fact that I only had a few dollars in the wallet, the worst thing about it is that I really loved my trusty red Tintin wallet, a gift from Sarah from a ways back, and hated to see it go. The replacement is another gift from Sarah from a ways back, a blue, European-style Tintin wallet. The red wallet held up so well I never needed the replacement. Hopefully I won't lose this one as well.

We took Emily to her third Aquabats concert, and had a nice time hanging out afterward with the Bat Commander and company. Emily had fun but I think she enjoyed hanging out in the tour bus more than anything. We saw some funny video of the Bat Commander ice-skating at Rockefeller Center. A nice break for the family.

I'm reading a lot of Lovercraft. Borrowed from the library, along with a Jason book and the first volume of Detroit Metal City or whatever that manga's called. Not much time to read lately, but the Lovecraft's kinda work-related, so, gotta catch up on it.

Still haven't found Shyly Horniram but I haven't exactly looked that hard for him. I'll get a picture of him up here one day, though. Satyr Masters FTW.

All for now.

Brooklyn Comics and Graphics Festival

The Brooklyn Comics and Graphics Festival is being held on December 4th in Brooklyn (duh), NY, former home of the Dodgers and Evan Dorkin. Speaking of Evan Dorkin (hey, that's me!),  he and I will be a real, actual guest at the Festival, for reasons only Dan Nadel knows. Personally, I have a feeling I've only been invited to the shindig to carry Irwin Hasen's luggage and run for sandwiches.

Otherwise, the guest list is all killer, with no filler: Lynda Barry, Charles Burns, Bill Griffith, Kate Beaton, Jillian Tamaki, Renee French, Adrian Tomine, Sammy Harkham, Gabrielle Bell, Paul Pope, Brian Chippendale, Irwin Hasen, Mark Alan Stamaty, Jordan Crane, Anders Nilsen, Leanne Shapton and Johnny Ryan.

Exhibitors include folks like Jim Rugg, Doug Allen, Mark Newgarden, Julia Wertz, Jason Little and Gary Leib. Publishers like D&Q, Adhouse and Sparkplug are setting up. I'm sure lots of other nifty creators and creative types will be there as well.

Speaking of Hasen, I'm on a panel dedicated to the veteran cartoonist of Golden Age and Dondi fame, along with Paul Pope and Nadel. I think we're supposed to nudge Hasen and keep him talking, although that's probably not going to be a problem. Hopefully some folks will come to listen to the guy discuss a life -- an actual, real, long life -- in comics. Hopefully they won't make me clean up after him. He talks while he eats, I hear.

The full list of panels and conversations can be found here .

Satellite events taking place during the weekend of the show can be found here.

The whole damned shebang happens here:

Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Church
275 North 8th Street
Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY

Cost: FREE to the public.

I have to say, other than the panel, I have no idea what I'll be doing during the festival. I don't think I'm supposed to set up anywhere and do sketches or sign stuff other than for a short , dedicated "guesty" signing time. I think. I'd be perfectly willing to sit at a table all day doodling and signing anything, but I'm a guest, and I don't know what that means or how that works, I'll ask and get back to you. I'm trying not to worry about it too much, because based on most recent events I've attended, I won't be very busy if I sign. I don't make the kinds of comics most folks at this show create, I don't make "graphics", I know I'm going to feel odd man out. But it's a short drive and I like Dan and I'm chuffed at being asked to participate and help clean up afterward and I'm trying to get over my anxiety issues so I figured why not go and see some neat stuff and a few people I know and maybe talk comics with folks. Right? Right. My lack of art credentials don't mean Jock Mahoney here because I'm a guest. Gonna stay positive here. Yeah. Even if I do have to get the sandwiches and a Dr. Brown's Cream Soda for the Dondi guy.

Deep breath. Deep breath.

Anyway, so you're going, right? You should go. Just go. Bring something for me to sign so I look popular. The Hellboy crossover, the Animal Rites book, the Simpsons Treehouse issue (not the one with the formalism, the one with the Jack Kirby and blood spatter gags), the Liberty Comics thing nobody talked about, some of my older, funnier work you liked back in college or junior high, whatever. All I'm saying is don't leave me high and dry in my own home town, okay? Don't make me drive home crying like the kid at the end of The Last American Virgin. I'm having enough trouble already with this whole comics thing, so step lightly, okay? Don't Break The Ice, fer chrissakes.  

Did I mention it's free? 

Satyr Masters From Abyss

Back in the 1990's I was one of five NYC-based cartoonists (the other four being Robbie Busch, Mark Badger, Stephen DeStefano and Kyle Baker) working on a joint anthology comic called Instant Piano. The book had a troubled history, which I'll avoid detailing in any way, shape or form here, eventually coming out as a four-issue mini-series from a very patient and slightly-confused Dark Horse Comics. Anyway, this isn't about the comic, not really. This is about the sort-of kind-of mascots of Instant Piano. 

This is about the Satyr Masters of Abyss.

What are the Satyr Master of Abyss?

Exhibit A:




Satyr Masters of Abyss, as you may be horrified/delighted to note, was an action figure series from parts unknown, featuring the Satyr Masters (From Abyss), an unholy conglomerate of the Ninja Turtles, The Warriors and the 70's-era NYC West Side Highway rough trade element. Satyr Masters was a toy line bootlegged from Hades, a plastic abomination, a cheap trick on unsuspecting children. Satyr Masters was awesome.

We had Stephen DeStefano to thank for introducing the Satyr Master line into our lives. We were meeting up at Kyle's apartment one day, and Stephen arrived with a set of five of these wonderful off-off-off brand carded monstrosities, one for each of the Instant Pianists. Five pieces of destiny, much like the Glave, from Krull (Look, I don't know how many pieces a Glave had, so shut up, I don't care if it's six or eight or two, I only played the video game, I didn't see the movie. Krull movie:  for suckers. Krull video game: for the gentry. Deal with it).

Anyway. Here's the best thing, the thing that will make your day, because your day is miserable, isn't it? It's the glorious, Saul Bass-inspired back card art  showing the entire line of Satyr Masters From Abyss.

Drink this fine expensive wine in, brothers and sisters:




As you may have noticed, Stephen color-coded the back cards for each person. And yes...I was awarded "Shyly Horniram".

Shyly Horniram. 

I'm not going to crack wise about that name, despite the temptation. Nor will I make fun of any of the Satyr Masters From Abyss. It is an insult to your intelligence, it is wholly unnecessary, it is simply not the right thing to do. Because I want you to luxuriate in that back card and enjoy it as if you came upon it in some corner bodega, a hidden Chinese market, that neighborhood deli gone to seed, hanging behind various other knock-offs, bootlegs and cheap, possibly dangerous carded playthings produced for the poor, the hapless, the damned. You've stumbled on something wonderful and terrible. Satyr Masters From Abyss.

I believe Kyle was graced with Mad Gorinka. I can't remember which others were handed out. Readers of Instant Piano may have been confused to find a reference to Mad Gorinka and Podleski in a panel or two of the comic. I believe Kyle doodled a number of Satyr Masters into the background of a panel. It doesn't matter. It isn't about the comics. It's about the Satyr Masters.

From Abyss.

Please feel free to discuss this phenomena at length in the comments section below. I know, words fail, but perhaps you can rise to the occasion. The characters, the names, the weaponry, the presentation, all beg contemplation, categorization and carping (Sample: "Cheeky Mummiah? Good heavens, man! A Mummy is not an animal, that's seemingly incongruous with the overall concept of the line. Unless...saints preserve us...unless those infernal bandages of antiquity hide the visage of some unknown beast! A cheeky beast!)

And if, as unlikely as it may seem, any of you out there have actually crossed paths with the Masters, we want to hear your story. We need to hear your story. There are still so many questions that remain unanswered -- were all the Masters produced, immortalized in plastic? Where have they been sighted other than NYC? Is there any manufacturing information at all to be had, or were these borne of factories dark and unknown to mankind, subterranean in origin, or ensconced beneath the waves within cursed R'lyeh, where dead Cthulhu waits dreaming? 

I have no friggin' idea.

I only wish Stephen nabbed more of these things. And that I could find my Shyly Horniram. He's here somewhere, this I know. And even if he wasn't, he'll always be close to my heart. Because, thankfully, he isn't Silly Cocky.

The floor is now open.