Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 20

Why You Need a Why

Three Actions to Help You Stay Motivated

Have you ever asked yourself that question? “Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Why do I want to be married? Why do I want to have children? Why do I want to work from home? Why do I want to lead worship at the church?” (Insert your own idea here.)

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If you don’t know the why behind your biggest dreams and desires, then all they will ever be for you is a dream. Without the why it’s virtually impossible to stay motivated to reach your goals.

Gail Hyatt says, “People lose their way when they lose their why.” She’s so right.

Last year I set a goal to open Freedom Outreach, the day program portion of Esther’s House, by September 5, 2016. There was only one ginormous problem. I spent most of September confined to my bedroom thanks to the ugly attack of black mold, even living in a motel room until we could find another place to live.

It was hard for me to keep pushing through. I was too tired to think about getting the doors open. Too tired to think about the next step in front of me. Reaching the goal seemed too far out of my reach. I felt like I just couldn’t do it. Felt like I was letting everyone else around me down. People were waiting for me to make this happen. Failure screamed at me loudly.

But I realized something important in the midst of that trial. I’d forgotten my why. I wasn’t pursuing Esther’s House just because it was something fun to do.  Are you kidding? It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. In order to stay motivated to keep moving forward, despite the trials in my way, I had to dig deeper, but most importantly I needed reminded of why I was pursing this dream. I needed to be motivated again.

Did you know for less than $1/day, YOU can literally make a difference between life and death for each woman who walks through the doors of Esther’s House. Click here to learn more.

So… I went back to my list of key motivations I’d written out when I set my goals for 2016, which I do every year through the 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever goal setting course with Michael Hyatt. Here they are:

To see women set free.
To offer the full experience of the program.
To teach women about God’s love for them.
To see women learn God’s plan for their lives.
To make disciples and share God’s Word.
To give women a safe place for healing.

It was so invigorating to see that list again, to be reminded that I wasn’t just doing this for me – I was doing this for other women desperate to understand freedom. It spurred me forward to keep fighting the battle.

If you’re struggling to push forward, don’t beat yourself up. You’re human. But let’s get back on track together and that starts with finding our why. Here are three actions to help you do just that.

Identify your key motivations. Why is this goal important to you? What’s at stake if you achieve it? Or if you don’t? My goal of getting Freedom Outreach open was important to me, as you can see by the list above, but my number one motivation was to see women set free. What was at stake if I didn’t keep pushing forward? Women understanding the fullness of Christ and the freedom he offers.
Record your motivations. It makes a difference when we write things down. When you’re feeling discouraged, going back to a list that’s right in front of you vs. in your heard is great inspiration for moving forward. I have my motivations written out in bulletproof from in Evernote, but maybe you just need them on your refrigerator door. Find what works for you.
Prioritize your motivations. After you’ve written down your motivations, figure out which is your most compelling and move that to the top. My top motivation to see women set free wasn’t the first thing I’d written down, but after going over the list it was the most compelling to me. All the other motivations fall underneath that one.

Good news. We didn’t hit our goal of September 5, 2016, but we did open the doors to Freedom Outreach on November 15, 2016. We’d love for you to check us out… 

One of my goals for 2017 is to find a plastic surgeon to remove the extra skin from my 145 lb. weight loss. Perhaps during that search I might feel some discouragement. That’s normal. But keeping my list of motivations in front of me, remembering why I want to do it, that’s what will keep me going. A few of my motivations for achieving that goal is knowing it will increase my confidence, I’ll be able to fit into a pair of jeans easier, and it will inspire others to keep pushing forward in their health-related goals.

So.. what’s your why? What do you want to see happen in your life and 2017 and what will motivate you to keep pushing towards that goal?

Remember to review your motivations often, and even more when you’re feeling discouragement. Remember, you lose your way when you lose your why.

“

If you don’t know the why behind your biggest dreams and desires, then all they will ever be for you is a dream.

—SUNDI JO

Question: Do you have a goal you want to achieve this year? What’s your key motivation for pursuing it? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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How to Resolve Your Past

4 Key Steps to the Resolution You Need

You’ve got some dirt in your past, right? Some of it was kicked up by your own poor choices and some was thrown in your face by others set out to hurt you.

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First of all, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’ve ever been hurt. I’m sorry for the words he spoke over you that cause you to wake up everyday questioning your identity. I’m sorry that you’ve been using the same coping mechanisms over and over again trying to prevent yourself from feeling the despair of being abandoned by your mother all those years ago. For whatever has happened to you, I’m sorry.

But here’s some hope I want to share with you. You can overcome your past. You can come up out of the dirt and be victorious in today, tomorrow, and the rest of your life. I promise you it’s possible because I’m living proof.

Here’s the thing though… you’re going to have to take a shovel and dig a little bit. And it’s going to hurt. And you’re going to have to feel. And you’re probably going to get angry, sad, angry again, and feel more emotions than you knew possible. But it’s worth it. It’s worth it, my friend. And you only have to do it one next right step at a time.

If you want to take control of your future, you’re going to have to resolve the past.

If there are some deep-rooted issues you’re trying to work through, I recommend seeking an outside source. Never be too proud to seek counseling. Shoot…. I counsel women all the time and still go to counseling. We’ve always got issues we’re working through.

In 1981 the United States Army created a powerful process called the After Action Review. It’s purpose is to connect past experiences with future action. It’s in this process God can take what’s been done to us and use it for the free future that awaits us.

Whether you’re looking back on the past year, week, or ten years of your life, the After Action Review is a good way to get started. Here are four steps to walk you through the process.

Step 1: State What You Wanted to Happen. 

It’s important to think about those things you wanted to accomplish, whether you accomplished them or not. Take some time to write down what you had in mind.

In 2016 I wanted to finish the book I’d started. I wanted to get in better shape. I wanted to get the doors to Esther’s House opened. I wanted to pay off some hospital bills.

Did you know for less than $1/day, YOU can literally make a difference between life and death for each woman who walks through the doors of Esther’s House. Click here to learn more.

Step 2: Acknowledge What Actually Happened.

Everything doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes obstacles pop up we have no control over. Sometimes the complete opposite happens and we’re blessed beyond anything we could’ve imagined.

I didn’t get the book done. Instead of getting in to better shape I wound up with an illness I’m still recovering from months later. I experienced tragedies, deaths, and lots of disappointments. However, great things happened too. We got the door to Esther’s House opened and women are finding freedom as we speak.

The good comes with the bad and the bad comes with good. Regardless, it’s important for us to acknowledge it all.

Step 3: Learn From the Experience. 

This is the biggie. No matter what’s happened, there’s always something to learn. Whether you just finished building a house, getting a new job, adopting a child, or making a recipe that totally failed or succeeded, ask yourself what you can learn from the experience.

“

If you want to take control of your future, you’re going to have to resolve the past.

—SUNDI JO

Regarding the sickness that knocked me to the curb for a bit, I learned so many valuable lessons. Actually, I’m still learning. I have to take care of myself to be able to take care of others. God has ginormous plans for me and I have to honor the one and only body I’ll ever have. I don’t have the same amount of energy everyone else has right now and I have to learn to walk in the parameters of that, not pretend I can do more than I’m really capable of.

Step 4: Adjust Your Behavior Based on What You’ve Learned. 

This isn’t a lesson in behavior modification. I don’t believe in that. We have to get to the root of the issue first. But, in this case, adjusting your behavior is more about learning from your experience and asking yourself, Okay, what can I do differently this next time that I didn’t do last time?

As I’m learning how to take care of my body in this stage of life, I realize I can’t eat the same things everyone else eats. So, I can take small steps when dining out with friends and choose not to eat the rolls the waiter sets in front of me. What may be enjoyable for those around me is despair for me. I’m learning to be okay with that. Adjust my behavior in that way is preparing me for a great future.

Whether you’re overcoming a mound of dirt or a few pebbles that have been kicked your way, there’s always something to learn. Remember, you have to dig to overcome. It’s just the way it is.

But you can do it, my friend. I know you can. You can overcome whatever has been done to you. You can live in a future brighter than you ever imagined. You can conquer because God created you to do just that.

Question: What have you learned from a specific experience that will help you live in a better future? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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How to Take Charge of Your Future

3 Truths to Help You Believe in the Possibility

You’re afraid. I get it. Staying stuck seems easier because it’s been your normal for years. You’re getting ready to celebrate another birthday and the negative voices whisper to you again. It’s just one more year you’re going to fail. It’s just one more year you’ll stay stuck in your past.

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We’ve approached another new year and your resolution has already been tossed out the window. It’s just another year you have to survive until you make it to the next one.

But what if it’s not just another year? What if this is the year for a new normal? 

I’m afraid too sometimes, my friend. More than sometimes if we’re being honest. History tells us we haven’t gotten what we wanted out of life so there’s just no point to keep trying. It’s hard to keep dreaming when your dreams have been shattered. Or maybe you don’t even know how to start dreaming because you’ve just been walking through life trying to survive.

Your past doesn’t have to control your future. Instead, you can use your past to change your future. You can use it as a catalyst to overcome, to conquer, and to achieve those dreams God has put on your heart.

Michael Hyatt says, “Your past is gone. You can’t fix it. The future is bright with possibilities.” He’s so right. Your future, my friend, is bright with possibilities…

In order to get there, you have to get rid of the things holding you back and implement some new thought patterns into your life. To get started, here are three truths you need to embrace in order to overcome your past and take control of your future.

Truth #1: Your Limiting Beliefs are the Only Thing Holding You Back.  

Allow me to introduce you to one of your worst enemies, cynicism. It’s easy when things go wrong to get a negative view of the world, others, and ourselves. It’s easy to throw our hands up in the air and give up.

But here’s the thing about easy.. You weren’t meant to live an easy life. You were created to live an exciting life – a life with purpose. And when we’re pursing the destiny God has designed for us, obstacles will come, but we don’t have to allow them to keep holding us back.

“

You were created to live an exciting life – a life with purpose.

—SUNDI JO

You have to replace those limiting beliefs with some liberating truths.

Here’s an example of a pretty vulnerable limiting belief I found myself struggling with a few weeks ago as I worked on setting my goals for 2017:

Limiting Belief: I’ll always be single. I’m just not the right kind of person for marriage material.

Liberating Truth: God has amazing plans for my future spouse and I. I have everything I need now to be a good wife.

You get to decide whether to sit in the negative or walk in the truth. It’s up to you.

Did you know for less than $1/day, YOU can literally make a difference between life and death for each woman who walks through the doors of Esther’s House. Click here to learn more.

Truth #2: You Have More Power than You Think.

Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you’re right.”

Change is only possible if you make the decision to change. It’s really up to you. Of course things are going to happen in life that knock you off course. There will be things that happen that are completely out of your control. Life doesn’t always go the way we want it to, but that’s not what I’m referring to here.

When we live in excuses and negativity about what’s possible for us, we’re giving power to the enemy to make decisions for us in this one and only life we get. That’s malarkey! The enemy doesn’t get to rule your life. You belong to God. You are a joint-heir with Christ! You have the power to keep walking towards the dreams and desires God has called you to.

Do you think you can or do you think you can’t? Either way, you’re right.

“

Do you think you can or do you think you can’t? Either way, you’re right.

—SUNDI JO

Truth #3: You Have More Resources than You Could Possibly Imagine.

This is a big one for me, especially as I lead Esther’s House and we step into new levels of faith, like signing the lease on the Farm House. I just love calling it the Farm House.

It’s hard for me not to freak out and wonder how in the world we’re going to pay for it. How will we get the staff we need? How this? How that? A million questions and I start to panic. And when I panic it’s because I’m living in the wrong mindset. I’m living in a scarcity mindset, focusing on my lack instead of abundance. No.. I’m not preaching the prosperity gospel.

Michael Hyatt says, “Resources are not the issue. The issue is clarity.” That’s so true.

When I step back and view this circumstance from a place of rest, the bigger picture comes back into focus. I remember I’m not in this alone. I remember God has partnered with me to offer hope to the broken, and He will never fail me or abandon me. He won’t leave the women we’re serving through Esther’s House either because that’s not who He is. When clarity comes, I stop panicking and instead keep pushing forward. It’s amazing how the resources show up.

Right now, in the midst of your circumstances, the resources are already there. You just have to get clarity on what they are. 

So, what’s holding you back? What limiting beliefs are you allowing to keep you stuck? Whatever it is, God wants to replace those beliefs with His truth.

He wants to take cynicism from your heart and help you view life from a place of gratitude. And remember that’s it’s a process, not an overnight cure. Sometimes you have to grow into your liberating truths. And that’s okay. You just have to done one day at a time. One next right step at a time.

I’m cheering you on, friend. I’m in your corner. Believe in the possibilities. This is your year.

Question: What’s a limiting belief you’re currently believing and what liberating truth can you replace it with? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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HOW TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR FUTURE

3 Truths to Help You Believe in the Possibility

You’re afraid. I get it. Staying stuck seems easier because it’s been your normal for years. You’re getting ready to celebrate another birthday and the negative voices whisper to you again. It’s just one more year you’re going to fail. It’s just one more year you’ll stay stuck in your past.

[image error]

We’ve approached another new year and your resolution has already been tossed out the window. It’s just another year you have to survive until you make it to the next one.

But what if it’s not just another year? What if this is the year for a new normal? 

I’m afraid too sometimes, my friend. More than sometimes if we’re being honest. History tells us we haven’t gotten what we wanted out of life so there’s just no point to keep trying. It’s hard to keep dreaming when your dreams have been shattered. Or maybe you don’t even know how to start dreaming because you’ve just been walking through life trying to survive.

Your past doesn’t have to control your future. Instead, you can use your past to change your future. You can use it as a catalyst to overcome, to conquer, and to achieve those dreams God has put on your heart.

Michael Hyatt says, “Your past is gone. You can’t fix it. The future is bright with possibilities.” He’s so right. Your future, my friend, is bright with possibilities…

In order to get there, you have to get rid of the things holding you back and implement some new thought patterns into your life. To get started, here are three truths you need to embrace in order to overcome your past and take control of your future.

Truth #1: Your Limiting Beliefs are the Only Thing Holding You Back.  

Allow me to introduce you to one of your worst enemies, cynicism. It’s easy when things go wrong to get a negative view of the world, others, and ourselves. It’s easy to throw our hands up in the air and give up.

But here’s the thing about easy.. You weren’t meant to live an easy life. You were created to live an exciting life – a life with purpose. And when we’re pursing the destiny God has designed for us, obstacles will come, but we don’t have to allow them to keep holding us back.

“

You were created to live an exciting life – a life with purpose.

—SUNDI JO

You have to replace those limiting beliefs with some liberating truths.

Here’s an example of a pretty vulnerable limiting belief I found myself struggling with a few weeks ago as I worked on setting my goals for 2017:

Limiting Belief: I’ll always be single. I’m just not the right kind of person for marriage material.

Liberating Truth: God has amazing plans for my future spouse and I. I have everything I need now to be a good wife.

You get to decide whether to sit in the negative or walk in the truth. It’s up to you.

Did you know for less than $1/day, YOU can literally make a difference between life and death for each woman who walks through the doors of Esther’s House. Click here to learn more.

Truth #2: You Have More Power than You Think.

Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you’re right.”

Change is only possible if you make the decision to change. It’s really up to you. Of course things are going to happen in life that knock you off course. There will be things that happen that are completely out of your control. Life doesn’t always go the way we want it to, but that’s not what I’m referring to here.

When we live in excuses and negativity about what’s possible for us, we’re giving power to the enemy to make decisions for us in this one and only life we get. That’s malarkey! The enemy doesn’t get to rule your life. You belong to God. You are a joint-heir with Christ! You have the power to keep walking towards the dreams and desires God has called you to.

Do you think you can or do you think you can’t? Either way, you’re right.

“

Do you think you can or do you think you can’t? Either way, you’re right.

—SUNDI JO

Truth #3: You Have More Resources than You Could Possibly Imagine.

This is a big one for me, especially as I lead Esther’s House and we step into new levels of faith, like signing the lease on the Farm House. I just love calling it the Farm House.

It’s hard for me not to freak out and wonder how in the world we’re going to pay for it. How will we get the staff we need? How this? How that? A million questions and I start to panic. And when I panic it’s because I’m living in the wrong mindset. I’m living in a scarcity mindset, focusing on my lack instead of abundance. No.. I’m not preaching the prosperity gospel.

Michael Hyatt says, “Resources are not the issue. The issue is clarity.” That’s so true.

When I step back and view this circumstance from a place of rest, the bigger picture comes back into focus. I remember I’m not in this alone. I remember God has partnered with me to offer hope to the broken, and He will never fail me or abandon me. He won’t leave the women we’re serving through Esther’s House either because that’s not who He is. When clarity comes, I stop panicking and instead keep pushing forward. It’s amazing how the resources show up.

Right now, in the midst of your circumstances, the resources are already there. You just have to get clarity on what they are. 

So, what’s holding you back? What limiting beliefs are you allowing to keep you stuck? Whatever it is, God wants to replace those beliefs with His truth.

He wants to take cynicism from your heart and help you view life from a place of gratitude. And remember that’s it’s a process, not an overnight cure. Sometimes you have to grow into your liberating truths. And that’s okay. You just have to done one day at a time. One next right step at a time.

I’m cheering you on, friend. I’m in your corner. Believe in the possibilities. This is your year.

Question: What’s a limiting belief you’re currently believing and what liberating truth can you replace it with? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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Mastering the Art of Rest

How to Step Into a More Intimate Relationship with God

For the last six years I’ve chosen one word to be my anthem for the year and it’s amazing what’s happened as I have challenged myself to focus on one simple, yet powerful word.

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I’ve been proactive walking in truth, living more radical thanks to David Platt, being more intentional in my relationships, learning to me more productive thanks to the mentorship of Michael Hyatt, and saying no to good things so I can say yes to even better things.

Last year I chose the most powerful word I’ve ever lived out: trust. Holy Smokes did God ever take me on a challenging ride of trust in 2016. I didn’t get everything right, but if God were giving a grade I’d say I got a B+. On December 28, 2016, as I signed the lease on the Farm House for Esther’s House, that word rolled off my lips with more fervor than I can describe. In 2015 I moved back to my hometown in the snow with the last $1000 to my name to open Esther’s House, and I thought that was trust… until my pen hit the paper last week.

It’s time to step it up in 2017. 

This year changes everything. This year I focus on the one word that will change everything about how I live my life, how I see others, and how I grow in my intimacy with the Father.

This year I pick the most powerful verb I’ve ever chosen: REST. 

Yep… you read that right. Here’s what I’ve learned about rest in the last few months. When someone told me I needed to rest more after getting sick this summer, I got mad. All I had done was rest, lying in bed, unable to do more than sleep for days. The only thing I was missing was some bon bons and Netflix binging. That was my definition of rest anyway. But I was wrong… Deeply wrong. 

Did you know for less than $1/day, YOU can literally make a difference between life and death for each woman who walks through the doors of Esther’s House. Click here to learn more.

The next morning I opened my journal, sarcastically writing to God, “Okay, here I am, ready to rest. Show me what you want me to do.” Those words have changed everything about my life and who I am. God answered that snarky request with so much grace and mercy I can’t even begin to describe to you.

He led me to Exodus 33:14: “The Lord replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.” I personalized for myself, taking out Mose’s name and inserting my own.

“I will personally go with you, Sundi Jo, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.”

Those words are changing everything. Everything. Despite any circumstances. Despite heartache. Despite trials. Despite sickness. Despite broken relationships. Everything will be fine for me. Everything will be fine for you too, my friend. 

And so here I am… on a journey of uncovering the art of rest. The gift of rest. The greatest action we can take, because it’s in the place of rest where God meets us most.

Graham Cooke says, “Every circumstance you encounter already has rest in the issue. No matter what. It’s the one thing God has blessed and sanctified in his relationship with you.”

I’ve barely scratched the surface of understanding what rest truly means. I can’t wait to uncover more in 2017. I can’t wait to live my life from a place of rest. I can’t wait to share with you everything I learn.

“

Every circumstance you encounter already has rest in the issue.

—SUNDI JO

2017 is a year of endless possibilities for you, my friend, despite any challenges. I encourage you to ask God to show you what word He wants to embed on your heart this year. What’s the one word which will take you to a new level in your relationship with Him?

My friends over at oneword365.com would love to be a part of celebrating your word with you. Head over there and join in on the one word partay!

Discover the big impact one word can make.  One word. 365 days. A changed life. 

Question: What’s the one word God has put on your heart for 2017? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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The Evidence of Stepping Out in Faith

Why You're Playing a Vital Role in Offering Freedom

When we take a step of faith, God will ALWAYS show up. Always… Stepping out requires courage. It calls for doing things afraid. It requires obedience. But those three things always turn into something we could never imagine prior to taking that first faith step.

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“I’m starting to see myself as Christ sees me,” she said. I couldn’t help but smile and fight back the tears as I heard her confidently speak those words. June is falling in love with who she is in Christ and if you and I are smiling about it, imagine the smile on God’s face.

We opened the doors to Freedom Outreach, the day program offered by Esther’s House, in November, and WOW, has God been moving full speed ahead in getting his message of redemption into the hearts of hurting women. You, my friend, play a vital role in that miracle. Your prayers and support have helped us move mountains in discipling women, including June.

As we say goodbye to 2016 and prepare for 2017, I can’t wait to see what God has in store. He never ceases to amaze me. This last year has been full of trials, victories, and tests, but in the midst of it all, God has been ever present.

Our most important goal for this year is to help the women who will complete the program in 2017, finish well. With your help, free women like June will:

Hold her head up high with confidence in who she is in Christ.
Make eye contact with the world without shame.
Become an ideal employee, full of integrity.
Renew broken relationships with her children.
Seek healthy relationships, helping her continue to grow in her walk with Christ.

When God calls you to fulfill the destiny He has designed for you, you better be ready for a battle. Boy… have I been in my fair share of fights with the enemy as I’ve embarked on this journey of pursuing Esther’s House. As we prepared to launch Freedom Outreach in September, I was hit with a debilitating sickness in August caused by black mold. I struggled to hold onto my own identity in Christ as I worked hard to remind other hurting women to keep hold of theirs. The devil was mad, but I was even more furious. No way was he keeping this program from opening, not on my watch, and certainly not on God’s watch.

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So here we are… victorious over the enemy’s schemes, watching women find freedom, grasp God’s love for them, slowly unpack their past and hand it over to God for healing, and understand the meaning of redemption. Though we’ve barely scratched the surface, God is moving mountains in June’s heart.

June is opening her heart to dream again. God is reminding her of the plans He has for her life. He is graciously reigniting the fire in her heart and helping her to realize she is able to pursue those dreams He’s placed within her.

When I first met June last year, her eyes were tired. She didn’t speak with hope. Enthusiasm was gone. She was simply surviving. But there was a spark, a desperation to burn bright once again. That little shred of hunger in her soul helped her to reach out for help. I’m so proud of her.

I wish you could be there to see the look on the faces of these women when they “get it.” What an honor it is to walk through this redemption process with them. Though you may not be physically be present in the process, you still have the opportunity to be there in other ways and be a blessing to women as they seek freedom.

We need your help to continue this mission of offering hope. We need you to continue pouring truth into their hearts. We need your support in helping women understand they don’t have to hold onto the baggage of their past any longer. 

As we embark on the journey of making 2017 our BEST YEAR EVER, will you prayerfully consider financially supporting Esther’s House, helping us continue offering hope to hurting women?

“

When God calls you to fulfill the destiny He has designed for you, you better be ready for a battle.

—SUNDI JO

In the upcoming year, we have some big plans, including finding a more permanent location to host Freedom Outreach. (We’re grateful for First Christian Church in Belle, Mo., for allowing us to host the program there).

I can’t wait to see what God does in 2017. What about you?

As the year closes, will you join us both financially and prayerfully in setting out to make 2017 the best year ever?  Every penny spells out hope and redemption for women who’ve forgotten the plan God has for her life.

Thank you for your partnership. We are beyond grateful and pray God’s blessings over your generous obedience.

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Happy New Year!

Sundi Jo Graham

Founder

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The Power of Community

Why Hospitality Isn't Dead

Hospitality. Does it still exist today in this “all about me” world? We live in a culture where our goals have turned into getting what we want when we want it, finding that 15 minutes of fame and serving ourselves. I’m guilty of all of the above.

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The Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines hospitality as “the act or practice of receiving and entertaining strangers or guests without reward, or with kind and generous liberality.”

In a recent conversation with some friends, we were discussing the power of community and whether or not there was still a need for hospitality.

My heart has been in an odd place lately, struggling through some broken relationships, feeling lonely in some of my recent trials. I’ve grieved broken friendships, quarrels with family, and the fact that I can’t always make everything right. I’ve questioned the motives of others and struggled through forgiveness.

Who is really for me? I’ve asked myself that question several times.

But then I looked around the room and I saw the definition come to life again. I was quickly reminded of the power of community.

There sat Tim in his Celebrate Recovery t-shirt, grizzly beard and backwards baseball cap, laughing about who knows what, and I was reminded of the “entertaining guests without reward” part of the hospitality definition. On Tuesday nights he picks up Caleb and they hang out. A man redeemed from the life of drug dealing takes hours out of his evening to walk the love of Christ into a 15-year old boy desperate to know that all men in his life aren’t bad.

Mitchell the preacher man sits next to him doing his best to corral us all together to get back to the original topic we were discussing. It’s nearly impossible. I think of the day he showed up at my doorstep when my dog was hit by a car and killed, and without question, he scooped him up and buried him for me. I think of the day he and his wife Rebecca sat on my couch and called me out for refusing to get out of my pajamas while living in a pool of self-pity. Good news: I finally got up and took a shower making the rest of the world very happy.

I smile at Sheena who showed up at my door a few weeks ago for Peppermint tea and gave me a Chicago Cubs ornament. We sat at the kitchen table and talked about life and prayed. And I think of the day her die-hard Cubs fan husband Kyle gave up his ticket to the game to cheer me up from an aching heart.

Our conversation is interrupted by Cari’s contagious laughter and I’m reminded of the beauty of old relationships. “I used to change your diapers,” she constantly reminds me. Then I went years without seeing her, but moving back to my hometown, it’s like we were never apart. And this particular morning I open a gift from her – a new coat – a gift from God after just having a conversation with another friend days earlier that my coat was getting a little worn.

Then I start to tell the story of the woman who contacted me the day before wanting to buy Caleb Christmas presents, giving us both a Christmas we’ll never forget, showing this amazing boy just how much he is loved by God. I share the news, reminded of how amazing our God is and Marcie slides the box of tissues over because she knows me too well. She knows the water works are about to turn on.

I think of the heater Marcie let me borrow to get through the freezing winter. I think of the day I cut my finger and she showed up with a box of band-aids while she laughed at my dramatic effort not to pass out. And again, I think of the day she walked out into the middle of the street without an ounce of hesitation and picked up Zeke and wrapped him in a towel, then knelt down by my side and prayed over me.

I beg Rebecca to let me touch her pregnant tummy and she refuses, threatening my very life with the look in her eyes if I even think about it. But I’m reminded of the time she let me borrow her car for a week when mine wasn’t working. She saw a need and offered without an ounce of hesitation.

Then there’s Tony and Marge, with their hearts full of love and compassion for others. Tony, my annoying brother in Christ, would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. I think of the night Caleb was struggling, and there was Tony at our doorstep, to love Caleb with truth and grace. He wasn’t there as the “small town cop.” He was there as a friend and a man with a concerned heart for a kid who needed loved. And that’s what he did, loved with words and a bear hug.

And Marge… what can I say? A woman whose words are so full of wisdom that I need to write them down when she speaks. I think of the day she sat in the doctor’s office with me as I tried to process the word “stroke”, and the night she showed up at the ER to pray over me.

I’m smiling… reminded that hospitality is alive and well… reminded of the amazing people I get to do life with and I’ve only been able to mention a few.  The messy, beautiful, heartbreaking, crazy, real, vulnerable, raw power of community is alive, and I call them friends. Friends who serve without seeking a reward.

Healing happens in community. We’re not meant to do life alone. We’re not meant to sit in isolation and deal with our struggles ourselves. Is there a time to sit quiet with God alone and allow Him to heal us? Yes, but more often than not, He heals us through others. He surrounds us with a small community of people who are for us, who love us, who call us out on our crap when we’re making poor decisions, and who shows up at our doorstep when life is hard.

What a beautiful reminder that life isn’t about us. It’s not about our 15 minutes of fame. It’s not about how many selfies we can take. It’s about community, serving, healing, living selfless. 

And it all comes back to Jesus, the greatest example of hospitality we could ever have. The greatest leader of community we could ever know.

Go serve someone today. I dare you…

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How to Accomplish Your God Given Dreams

7 Steps for Taking Control of 2017

I’ve been jotting down some ideas on what I want to accomplish in 2017 for the past few weeks. Usually after Christmas myself and a few friends sit down together to map out our goals and drams for the new year.

Here’s what I know I don’t want to happen. I don’t want a year of busyness without something tangible to show for it. Actually, that’s a trick statement. I believe if we live life so busy we don’t know which way we’re going, good fruit doesn’t come from that.

As you look back on 2016, how do you feel about the year overall? Did you see good fruit? Were you too busy? Did you get sidetracked on accomplishing your goals? Was life just way too much to keep up with?

Here’s a secret: Maybe you’re making it harder than it’s supposed to be.

Seriously.. think about that for just a second. Life isn’t easy by any means. Achieving our goals and dreams isn’t easy either. But… what if we make it harder than it’s supposed to be? The process of pursuing goals isn’t easy, but it’s simpler than you think.

My friend and mentor Michael Hyatt is hosting 7 Steps for Taking Control of 2017 on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of next week,  Registration is free. If you sign up, you’ll discover:

The common and seemingly positive goal-setting strategy that is likely sabotaging your success (and what to do instead)
A simple but powerful principle that will enable you to defeat procrastination once and for all
One single strategy that will instantly make you 42% more likely to accomplish your goals–it’s shocking how many people miss it
The secret to making it through the “messy middle,” when you have too much invested to quit but are not sure you can finish
How to “quit-proof” your goals to ensure 2017 is the year you finally cross that big one off your list
A simple, proven solution to ensure you never get overwhelmed (or paralyzed) by a big goal again
Clarity on your next steps toward accomplishing what matters most—and the courage you need to take action

I’ve been talking a lot about goals lately, I know. It’s because I’m super passionate about not only achieving what God has desired for me, but for you to do the same. I love to see people be successful in living out their passions – the very gifts God has put in them.

Register for this Free Webinar

Whatever you’ve got going on next week, I encourage you to save a time slot and tune in.

I promise it will be worth your time, and if you don’t walk away inspired and encouraged to make 2017 your BEST YEAR EVER, you can dump me in a bathtub of freezing water, and I hate freezing water! All you have to do is register.

My friend, I believe now is the time to become the best version of you – the person God created you to be – full of purpose and passion and dreams. It’s time to do the things that matter.

Here’s what Michael says: “When you master the process of achieving your goals, you can transform virtually any aspect of your life—your family’s legacy, your waistline, your financial situation, your marriage, or anything else you’re not satisfied with.”

Let’s use our time well together. Let’s achieve our dreams together. Let’s rock our goals like never before. This new webinar will show you how.

Register for this Free Webinar

“

The process of pursuing goals isn’t easy, but it’s simpler than you think.

—SUNDI JO

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Why You Should Be Planning Your Funeral Now

What Will People Say?

Several weeks ago I attended the funeral of a family friend. As I sat there listening to the preacher honor her, my heart sank looking around the room. Less than 40 people showed up.

I looked at the pictures her family had pasted to the whiteboards standing around the room. She was smiling, of course. Each photograph portrayed beautiful memories of a life well lived – dancing, bowling, cooking, posing with grandkids and great-grandkids.

I knew there was no doubt a period of happiness in her life, those pictures proof of a joy-filled time in her life. But what I remembered about her wasn’t that season of her life. I remembered the bitter, broken heart that often spewed venomous words. As I looked at the pictures again I found myself wishing I could remember the happy memories.

She died at home with her family surrounding her – what a gift that was I can imagine – knowing she wasn’t alone. But I have to wonder how alone she really was when she took those final breaths on this earth. How many regrets did she have? How many amends did she wish she would’ve made? Did she wonder what she could’ve done differently with her life?

Her funeral has me taking a deeper look at my own life. 

When I die, will there be more than 30 people at my funeral? I type that and wonder if it’s a selfish question, so I check my motives and God reminds me that my heart is right in asking the question.

At the end of my life, as people attend my funeral, these are the words I hope are spoken:

“She made we want to know more about Jesus.” 

My heart’s desire is that my actions in this short time on earth was a walking testimony of the love of God for others.

Life isn’t about our happiness.

A family member stood up to honor our friend and she said, “I remember her doing what she wanted to make herself happy. That’s what her life was about, doing what she wanted. That’s the way we should all live, doing what makes us happy.”

My stomach cringed as she spoke. I wanted to speak up. My heart was screaming, “No! That’s not it at all. That’s not what this life is about. Life isn’t about you.” I wanted to hug her. I wanted to ask, “Where is Jesus in all of this?” But I sat silent in my tears, broken-hearted for my friend. Broken hearted for her family. And I prayed under my breath, “God, draw them to you.”

What is your life score?

I’m still young and I have a lot of life left in me I hope. But I never want to take that for granted, because I never know when God will take me to hang out with Him for eternity.

When I get to the end of my life, I want to be an empty salt shaker, having given those around me a deeper thirst for Christ like my friend Gary Smalley did.

What about you? 

When is the last time you took an assessment of your life? Are you living the life God has designed for you? Are you living a life filled with joy or despair? Are you leaving those around you thirsty for more?

When your life ends who will be at your funeral? 

My friend and mentor Michael Hyatt is offering a free LifeScore™ Assessment, where you can clarify what’s working in your life and what’s not.

I just took it and scored a 79. I’m in a good spot, but I want to be better. I want my health in a better place. I want stronger relationships. I want to be all God wants me to be in leading Esther’s House. 

I want to live the life that matters most – not the one that just makes me happy. What about you? 

Once you discover your LifeScore,™ you can quickly see opportunities for growth and what is working well. If you take it quarterly, you have a built-in way to measure your growth over time and stay motivated toward what matters most to you!

“

I want to live the life that matters most – not the one that just makes me happy.

—SUNDI JO

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How Gratitude Sets You Up for an Amazing Year

8 Strategies Influencers Use to Accomplish God's Best

With Thanksgiving approaching in just a few days, perhaps you’re thinking of all the extra things you’re thankful for – family, friends, your job, and Grandma’s banana pudding pie (maybe that’s just me).

But what happens when Thursday is over and the dedicated day to be thankful won’t come again for another year? Can we still have hearts of gratitude? Can we follow the advice of Paul in 1 Thessalonians and give thanks for everything? I hope so.

Have you ever wondered how some of the people who inspire you most stay so successful? So positive? I would bet for starters they view life with a heart of gratitude.

My mentor Gary Smalley was one of those guys. My friend Jennifer. My friend and virtual mentor, Michael Hyatt, is one of those people.

Speaking of Michael, he recently asked thirty well known influencers to share how they set themselves up for success as the New Year approaches. Several of them, including Lysa TerKeurst, Chalene Johnson, Andy Andrews, John Maxwell, and Dave Ramsey gave us a peek into their year-end process and guess what?

Expressing gratitude was a key factor to their success and happiness. 

This week in America we’re celebrating Thanksgiving. What a great time to get started learning their best practices for getting a grateful jump on the New Year and applying them to our own lives, eh?

“I enjoy taking the Thanksgiving Holiday to be thankful for all the positive things that happened over the past year, as well as assess how I can change my perspective on the negative things that happened to a healthy one,” said Award Nominated Podcaster, Erik Fisher.

“This sets up the time between the end of November through New Years day as part celebration and part solitude and pondering and closing up old business,” he said. “Doing this is like starting the New Year with an empty in-basket.”

Life coach Tony Robbins keeps a journal of “accomplishments and magic moments” that he revisits. He captures standout moments throughout his year and draws principles from these to set his goals for the New Year.

I don’t know about you, but this gets me fired up – not only for Thanksgiving week – but to finish 2016 out strong and start 2017 even stronger! 

Hyatt says, “Taking stock of the past year is the best way I know to set yourself up for success in the next.”

“

Expressing gratitude is a key factor for success and happiness.

—SUNDI JO

This review process was a little different for each, but most seemed to focus on what went right, what went wrong, and what could be learned for the upcoming year. In those responses were thoughts about the importance of staying positive and expressing gratitude—which leads directly to the other best practices they shared with Michael.

He’s sharing eight different practices from these well-known influencers in his free ebook, Achieve What Matters in 2017: 8 Strategies Super-Successful People Are Using to Accomplish More Next Year.

It reveals what Andy Stanley, Lysa TerKeurst, Amy Porterfield, John Maxwell, and other high achievers do to get clarity on what matters most, boil it all down to actionable goals, and schedule it for success in the New Year.

Get your copy of Achieve What Matters in 2017 by clicking below.

Click Here for Your FREE ebook

 

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