Sbr Martin's Blog - Posts Tagged "alcoholism"
"Using the 'F' Word in Fiction" - Guest Post on Author Wodke Hawkinson's Blog
As an author, it is a great compliment to be asked to write a guest post on another author's blog. Check out my recent post on author Wodke Hawkinson's blog. And be sure to explore the other guest posts - fresh talent awaits!
http://findagoodbooktoread.com/wodke-...
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Repost:
Using the "F" Word in Fiction
Oh, behave! I’m not being nearly as scandalous as the title of this guest post would suggest. The “F” word to which I’m referring is “Fact,” and its use in fiction can be just as challenging, just as brow-raising, as the dirty word you likely thought I meant.
My fiction has been described as “psychological and thoughtful” by Midwest Book Review, my characters as “flawed and believable, yet familiar” by Publishers Weekly. One book review blogger recently wrote: “Martin has created characters so real, so rich in character that you know in your heart that these character(s) must be real.”
And these are just the comments of strangers, of persons who do not personally know me or who know nothing of my past, present, or future. The comments and questions that roll in from those in the know are even more loaded.
“Wow, I never knew you felt that way,” said one friend.
“I’m glad you finally got it all out,” said a distant family relation.
“I have to ask,” posed my publisher, “is this based on your own life?”
To date, I’ve published two titles of contemporary fiction—“in wake of water,” released Nov. 2011; and, “pig,” released June 2012. In addition to the rich character development noted by various sources, both books have in common the fact that they touch on touchy topics, very real and very disturbing possibilities in the human condition.
“In wake of water” centers on a female lead who contemplates suicide following the losses of her immediate family members. Her tendencies are counterbalanced by a male lead who greatly fears death, life, and living. As the story unfolds, small-town secrets are revealed in a thought-provoking tome of sex, deception, ignorance, and guilt.
Honored as a Second Prize Quarterfinalist in the 2012 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest, my second novel, “pig” also discusses death and loss, among other ostensible themes. “Pig” is the story of Lily, a troubled woman seated at her husband’s funeral, whose life is recalled in a tensely tense-shifting narrative of domestic abuse, adultery, alcoholism, motherhood, and redemption.
As my fiction focuses on humans (rather than otherworldly creatures such as vampires, werewolves, or cyborgs) and explores very real human scenarios (as opposed to things such as time travel, mind control, and immortality), it instantly raises questions among readers. And, when those readers take a look at my extended bio, the questions keep coming.
My mother passed away in 1999. My sister, my only sibling, died in 2001. My father keeled over in 2003. All one has to do is read the first page of “in wake of water” to see these facts mirrored in my fiction. The question then becomes, “Does it stop there?”
Yes and No. Quite simply, these facts were brought into my fiction because they are compelling. They are the stuff that makes for a good read, the stuff that makes a work not only readable but also relatable.
Indeed, we write what we know, but we also write what we don’t know, what we want to know, and what we can never know. My true story, alone, without fabrication or exaggeration, is not exceptional. What makes it exceptional is the way that my fact is intertwined with the purely fictitious, or supplemented by fact found elsewhere in this world.
Carrying over into “pig,” one then wonders if the next chapter of my reality was laden with abuse, alcoholism, adultery, and other “A” words. Sure. A little here. A little there. But nothing in “pig” is fact in its entirety. Again, it’s the compelling stuff that makes for a good story. A curly hair of truth beneath a fake wig that’s tidy.
I am reminded of the disclaimer that accompanies most works of fiction these days—that little blurb on the copyright page that mentions how any resemblance of the forthcoming story to persons, places, or things, whether of fact or of fiction, is purely unintentional. And as I am reminded of this, I remind my reader of this, too.
Something may sound familiar, but that doesn’t mean it is. Something may sound factual, but that doesn’t mean it is. Something may sound unbelievable, but it may be that very thing which is most true.
Were I to write a work of fiction about an African American President of the United States of America, that would not mean that the novel was about President Obama. Were I to write about a disease that killed people indiscriminate of any identifiable factor or predisposition, that would not mean that the novel was about Cancer. So too when I write about a gal who lost her entire family, or a lady who liked to booze it up, that does not mean these works are about me, though they may seem to imitate my intimate.
My biggest goal in writing is to have my words invoke thoughts and feelings in my reader, and, for that reason, I often write of those things that invoke thought and feeling in my own mind. If it works on me, it’s my hope that it’ll work on my readers.
I don’t think, by the way, that this is something one could escape entirely just by writing in other subgenres of fiction, or by creating more ethereal characters. Who among us has not been ensnarled by the beautiful eyes of a vampire, or haunted by the isolationist tendencies of any other nonhuman? Who hasn’t been perplexed by the twin paradox? These things too invoke in us something that their authors surely intended to stir. They just aren’t subjected to the same level of “fact v. fiction” scrutiny because of their very premises.
The novel I’m currently writing has much to do with murder. I’m hoping that my friends, family, and followers don’t soon question whether I am, in fact, a murderer. But, then again, would this query be any more absurd than the ones asked following my first two novels? Are we not each of us, at one point or another, cast into a spot of murderous inclination, just as we are cast into moments of despair and desperation?
“Pig” and “in wake of water” are available for purchase and lending on Amazon, accessible through my author profile at http://amazon.com/author/sbrmartin.
Follow my writing on Facebook at http://facebook.com/sbrmartin.pig and http://facebook.com/inwakeofwater.
Rate/review me on goodreads at http://goodreads.com/sbrmartin.
Media inquiries and/or general queries can be sent directly to sbrmartin@sbrmartin.com.
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http://findagoodbooktoread.com/wodke-...
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Repost:
Using the "F" Word in Fiction
Oh, behave! I’m not being nearly as scandalous as the title of this guest post would suggest. The “F” word to which I’m referring is “Fact,” and its use in fiction can be just as challenging, just as brow-raising, as the dirty word you likely thought I meant.
My fiction has been described as “psychological and thoughtful” by Midwest Book Review, my characters as “flawed and believable, yet familiar” by Publishers Weekly. One book review blogger recently wrote: “Martin has created characters so real, so rich in character that you know in your heart that these character(s) must be real.”
And these are just the comments of strangers, of persons who do not personally know me or who know nothing of my past, present, or future. The comments and questions that roll in from those in the know are even more loaded.
“Wow, I never knew you felt that way,” said one friend.
“I’m glad you finally got it all out,” said a distant family relation.
“I have to ask,” posed my publisher, “is this based on your own life?”
To date, I’ve published two titles of contemporary fiction—“in wake of water,” released Nov. 2011; and, “pig,” released June 2012. In addition to the rich character development noted by various sources, both books have in common the fact that they touch on touchy topics, very real and very disturbing possibilities in the human condition.
“In wake of water” centers on a female lead who contemplates suicide following the losses of her immediate family members. Her tendencies are counterbalanced by a male lead who greatly fears death, life, and living. As the story unfolds, small-town secrets are revealed in a thought-provoking tome of sex, deception, ignorance, and guilt.
Honored as a Second Prize Quarterfinalist in the 2012 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest, my second novel, “pig” also discusses death and loss, among other ostensible themes. “Pig” is the story of Lily, a troubled woman seated at her husband’s funeral, whose life is recalled in a tensely tense-shifting narrative of domestic abuse, adultery, alcoholism, motherhood, and redemption.
As my fiction focuses on humans (rather than otherworldly creatures such as vampires, werewolves, or cyborgs) and explores very real human scenarios (as opposed to things such as time travel, mind control, and immortality), it instantly raises questions among readers. And, when those readers take a look at my extended bio, the questions keep coming.
My mother passed away in 1999. My sister, my only sibling, died in 2001. My father keeled over in 2003. All one has to do is read the first page of “in wake of water” to see these facts mirrored in my fiction. The question then becomes, “Does it stop there?”
Yes and No. Quite simply, these facts were brought into my fiction because they are compelling. They are the stuff that makes for a good read, the stuff that makes a work not only readable but also relatable.
Indeed, we write what we know, but we also write what we don’t know, what we want to know, and what we can never know. My true story, alone, without fabrication or exaggeration, is not exceptional. What makes it exceptional is the way that my fact is intertwined with the purely fictitious, or supplemented by fact found elsewhere in this world.
Carrying over into “pig,” one then wonders if the next chapter of my reality was laden with abuse, alcoholism, adultery, and other “A” words. Sure. A little here. A little there. But nothing in “pig” is fact in its entirety. Again, it’s the compelling stuff that makes for a good story. A curly hair of truth beneath a fake wig that’s tidy.
I am reminded of the disclaimer that accompanies most works of fiction these days—that little blurb on the copyright page that mentions how any resemblance of the forthcoming story to persons, places, or things, whether of fact or of fiction, is purely unintentional. And as I am reminded of this, I remind my reader of this, too.
Something may sound familiar, but that doesn’t mean it is. Something may sound factual, but that doesn’t mean it is. Something may sound unbelievable, but it may be that very thing which is most true.
Were I to write a work of fiction about an African American President of the United States of America, that would not mean that the novel was about President Obama. Were I to write about a disease that killed people indiscriminate of any identifiable factor or predisposition, that would not mean that the novel was about Cancer. So too when I write about a gal who lost her entire family, or a lady who liked to booze it up, that does not mean these works are about me, though they may seem to imitate my intimate.
My biggest goal in writing is to have my words invoke thoughts and feelings in my reader, and, for that reason, I often write of those things that invoke thought and feeling in my own mind. If it works on me, it’s my hope that it’ll work on my readers.
I don’t think, by the way, that this is something one could escape entirely just by writing in other subgenres of fiction, or by creating more ethereal characters. Who among us has not been ensnarled by the beautiful eyes of a vampire, or haunted by the isolationist tendencies of any other nonhuman? Who hasn’t been perplexed by the twin paradox? These things too invoke in us something that their authors surely intended to stir. They just aren’t subjected to the same level of “fact v. fiction” scrutiny because of their very premises.
The novel I’m currently writing has much to do with murder. I’m hoping that my friends, family, and followers don’t soon question whether I am, in fact, a murderer. But, then again, would this query be any more absurd than the ones asked following my first two novels? Are we not each of us, at one point or another, cast into a spot of murderous inclination, just as we are cast into moments of despair and desperation?
“Pig” and “in wake of water” are available for purchase and lending on Amazon, accessible through my author profile at http://amazon.com/author/sbrmartin.
Follow my writing on Facebook at http://facebook.com/sbrmartin.pig and http://facebook.com/inwakeofwater.
Rate/review me on goodreads at http://goodreads.com/sbrmartin.
Media inquiries and/or general queries can be sent directly to sbrmartin@sbrmartin.com.
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"Shootin' The Breeze with Sarah Beth Rem-Martin (Sbr Martin) author of 'Pig' and 'In Wake of Water'" - Interview by Madison Sevier
Today I made a virtual stop at the blogspot of Madison Sevier to discuss a wide range of topics from my work-in-progress and the authors who've inspired me to John Stamos, zombies, and thrift stores - http://madisonsevier.blogspot.com/201....
Madison is a fun-spirited gal, to whom my work was referred by Night Owl Reviews reviewer Stacey Jo. Her blog is relatively new, but it's already jam-packed with interesting material. When you're done reading my interview, click on the links to her previous posts and keep reading!
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Repost:
Shootin' The Breeze with Sarah Beth Rem-Martin (Sbr Martin) author of 'Pig' and 'In Wake of Water'
Hi Everyone! Today, I've baked up a batch of brownies and brewed a HUGE pot of coffee. We're having company! Yay!
Today, my dear friend and very talented author, Sarah Beth Rem-Martin a.k.a. Sbr Martin is stopping by to chat. Without further ado, let's get to it!
Hope she likes flowers...
WELCOME to my place, Sarah! Come on in and get comfy. Enjoy the brownies and coffee and we'll get down to business whenever you're ready :)
Sit right there, my beautiful friend while I tell folks a little about your book.
First, I'd like to tell everyone how absolutely amazing your book, 'Pig' is. My friend, Stacey Jo read and reviewed it. That girl was down right speechless! When she could speak again, she was tongue-tied. Now, if you ask me...any book that can do that to her is a book I HAD to read. Stacey Jo was right! I don't want to spoil anything for those who haven't had the chance to read it, but 'Pig' is the most mind-boggling story I have ever read. I thought I had it all figured out and then WHAM! Yes, friends, it is so very damn good!
Here are a few promotional tidbits, purchase links and the review by my friend Stacey Jo. While y'all peruse those, I'm going to get our friend Sarah some more coffee.
Purchase links:
Pig is FREE for PRIME members right now: http://www.amazon.com/Pig-ebook/dp/B0...
In Wake Of Water is also FREE for PRIME members right now: http://www.amazon.com/In-Wake-Of-Wate...
Sbr's website: http://sbrmartin.com/
Stacey Jo's 5 STAR, making a 'Top Pick' Review of 'Pig' for the highly acclaimed Night Owl Reviews: http://www.nightowlreviews.com/nor/Re...
Now let's get back to my guest. Sarah, since this is your first time here I'll let you in on a little secret :)
Instead of doing the normal round of questions, I like to jazz things up. It's a 'get-to-know-you' session and readers love to know real things about their favorite authors. If any question is too personal or you'd rather not answer, just say so, okay?
Sounds good to me, Madison. Ask away—the sky’s the limit!
**Awesome! Since we are coming up on the 'dog-days' of Summer, what's your favorite season?
I like late-fall, when I’m neither sweating nor shivering. I’m a little picky about how I dress. I don’t like wearing shorts, and I hate wearing coats. So fall suits me perfectly, if you’ll excuse my pun.
I have to agree on the 'coats' thing. I want to hibernate every winter.
**Can you pick one thing you LOVE about every season?
My favorite thing about each season is that all seasons change. Each year, we get a little of this, a little of that, something else, and then the other thing. The changing of seasons is one of the only predictable, constant things we have going for us in this world. No matter what is, or isn’t, going on in our personal lives, the seasons continue to change. The Earth keeps on living a life of its own.
Beyond the deeper meaning of it all, I like to watch the seasons change. Seeing leaves turn colors, flowers bloom, tiny snowflakes fall and then melt—it’s all beautiful.
That's a beautiful answer. I have to agree, the magic of it all is wonderful. Sometimes, I just wish I could watch winter in a snowglobe. Ha ha!
**What's your favorite holiday?
Halloween. It’s when all the freaks come out and play. I always liked the holiday as a kid, because I have a sweet tooth and was all about getting tons of free candy. As a young adult, I liked it as a party holiday, where grown-ups got dressed up and drunk. Now that I have kids of my own, I like seeing it through their eyes, witnessing their awe and joy at all that goes down on that festive eve. Plus, I still have a sweet tooth… It’s my duty to ransack their loot.
Agreed! Ransacking is the best part.
**Do you have a favorite food (comfort or otherwise) recipe? If so, would you mind sharing it?
I’m overweight, so there a lot of foods in which I excessively take comfort. In college, when I’d bring a friend home for dinner with my family, I’d always preface their visit by saying, “Once you have dinner at my house, you’ll finally understand two things—why I’m fat, and, why I’m crazy.”
My mom and grandma were great cooks, and I learned a lot from them. But what I learned wasn’t so much recipes as it was techniques. People have asked me to share a recipe with them before, only to be disappointed when I tell them that I have no recipe to share. Sometimes my friends think I’m being elusive, but I’m not. I really do just go with the flow when I cook.
I don't think you're fat, I think you're perfect as you are. I love the fact that you 'wing it' when cooking. Sometimes, that's more fun anyways. Following your own path, right?
**Okay, Favorite drink (alcoholic and/or non)?
How boring is this? My favorite drink is water—very cold water, preferably with chipped ice that I can chew. As far as alcoholic beverages, I avoid them nowadays. I’m a recovering alcoholic. But when I did hit the sauce, I was a Long Island Iced Tea, Irish Car Bomb, and 22-ounce whatever-is-cheapest draft kinda gal.
Congrats on your sobriety! Kudos to you for sharing that with us :0) LOVE IT! I'm not a big drinkin' kind of gal either. Too much to do around here.And water isn't boring, it's the one thing we all need and I commend you for not being afraid to say you love it.
**How about your favorite place to shop?
I am addicted to shopping in thrift stores, absolutely addicted! Not only are the bargains great, but I approach each trip to the thrift store as a mission, a game of sorts, where I am tasked to find either something that is ridiculously more affordable than retail or something that is incredibly stunning because it is true antique, heirloom, or vintage quality.
I’ve found a lot of amazing pieces at thrift stores In Pittsburgh, PA, where I live. From authentic Coach handbags ($12) and Coldwater Creek knit denim jeans ($3.98) to eye-catching jewelry (typically under $10) and mint-condition DVDs ($1.99), I’ve acquired so much cool stuff that’d otherwise be beyond my means.
Again...LOVE IT! There are so many great finds out there and they are cheap! I need to go shopping with you. You've scored some pretty awesome stuff :0)
**Who would you say is your favorite author and what is your favorite book by that author?
My favorite author would have to be John Gardner, author of my favorite book, “Grendel.” I totally dig how Gardner approached that novel, writing as the antagonist in the 8th century epic poem “Beowulf.” But I dig his style of writing even more.
I first read the novel in high school, but still remember my favorite quote by heart:
"Pick an apocalypse, any apocalypse. A sea of black oil and dead things. No wind. No light. Nothing stirring, not even an ant, a spider. A silent universe. Such is the end of the flicker of time, the brief hot fuse of events and ideas set off, accidentally, and snuffed out, accidentally, by man. Not a real ending of course, nor even a beginning. Mere ripple in Time's stream."
Beautifully written. Deep. Disturbing.
I have to agree. I am now hooked and need to read that for myself. Thank you.
**Favorite book series?
Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I loved each and every book in the series, and learned a lot about my own writing goals from Rice’s work. Her characters are so deep and compelling, which is something I like to consider a hallmark of my own fiction.
AR is one of my favorites, also. As for your characters, they are definitely deep and compelling. I can attest to that.
**What is your favorite thing about being an author?
I’ve been profoundly affected by some of the books I’ve read so far in my life. Both my writing and my outlook on life have been honed through reading the works of others. It’s my greatest hope that my writing will reach out and touch someone the way that so many other authors’ books have grabbed a hold of me.
I am moved by the thought of someone miles away from me kicking back with one of my books, sipping coffee as she shakes her head in disbelief every now and then, pausing to consider what she’s just read, or racing to her favorite chair so that she can sit down and pick up where she left off. To think that my words can reach and touch others is a mind-boggling thing.
Beautifully said, Sarah. You definitely touched Stacey Jo and me. We still talk about your book. Constantly shaking our heads because it's phenomenal. I think she'd be a great side-kick for you (if she ever gets un-tongue-tied, LOL). She hasn't stopped telling everyone she meets and knows about 'Pig'.
** What are the top 5 things on your bucket list?
Other than enjoying a long life where I get to see my daughters grow to be healthy and happy, I’d have to say:
1. Write and publish 5 books in 5 years;
2. Have (at least) one of my books turned into a movie;
3. Go to SeaWorld and be the one who gets selected to kiss Shamu;
4. Acquire property along the Maryland-Delaware border, close enough to the beach for easy access but far enough away so as to limit the possibility of seasonal/water devastation; and,
5. Come up with better things to include on my bucket list.
Aww. I love your Bucket List!
**Okay, if someone were to write a book about your life, what would be the title?
“sbr.” It’s short. It’s simple. It’s me.
LOVE!
**What's the one place you've always wanted to go but haven't?
John Stamos’ house…
LOL! I'm sure some of our readers would agree with you.
**What is your all-time favorite vacation spot?
Ocean City, Maryland. Whenever I think of that location, I always smile. My family vacationed there often when I was a child, and my husband and I take our own kids there now. We typically like to go in the off-season, when it isn’t so crowded and is more affordable.
The ocean and the beach are so very stunning, a living portrait of Mother Nature at her best. The way that the boardwalk flushes to the sand and adds human traffic to the equation is intense. Walking on the boardwalk, one can be both a part of civilization and of nature at the exact same time, dispelling the myth that man can’t have the best of both worlds.
Ocean City sounds amazing. Some of my friends have gone and they love it too.
**Coffee or Tea? (yes, it matters (0: )
Coffee. I enjoy its flavor, but not nearly as much as I enjoy its effects. Oddly enough, I didn’t start drinking coffee until I was 30. Before that, the caffeine had such pronounced effects on me that I simply couldn’t drink it. Just one cup had me so wired that I felt like a drug addict with ants under my skin. I couldn’t sleep and had to keep busy with whatever insurmountable tasks I could find.
Once I had kids, however, this all changed. I needed the caffeine boost to keep up with them, and to get things done. The effects have worn off over time. I’ve built up my tolerance, so to speak. But now, like a true addict, I need my daily fix. I’m unapproachable before that first cup of coffee in the morning. So don’t even *try* to talk to me before I’m about six ounces in!
LOL. There I have to disagree. I'm all about the flavor and before my first cup, I'm about as approachable as a mama bear in the Smokies. After that first, heavenly cup, I'm sweet as can be.
**When shopping, do you prefer paper or plastic?
Plastic, by default. I do most of my household shopping at Walmart these days, and they only use plastic. More and more stores, it seems, are doing away with paper. Growing up, my mom used to always say, “Paper and plastic, please.” It made the bags more durable and easier to carry, and we’d use the double-bags as a sturdy trash receptacle in our 13-gallon garbage cans.
Same here.
** Dog or cat?
Woof woof. I’m a dog person through and through, both in terms of pet preference and in terms of my own personality. Petting, kissing, snuggling in bed, going for long walks, being silly, and playing interactive games—I ain’t talkin’ about romance here. I’m talking about life’s essentials, what I need to survive comfortably. I like to get reassurance from others, and like attention, praise, and companionship. Dogs need these things, too—and they tend to dole them out as well.
Cats are too independent for me. Kittens are fun, but the typical cat is a little too adult-like for my tastes. She’s like a mature friend who doesn’t ask much of you, who comes and goes as she pleases and expects you to do things according to her schedule and her needs. Plus, I’m highly allergic to certain breeds of cats. We tried having a kitty for a while, but had to surrender her to the shelter because I couldn’t breathe around her.
As you can see, there's a mix of everything around here/. But, I knew you were stopping by, so I tucked away the kitties for our visit(0:
**Would you rather have Chinese, Italian, Mexican or none of the above?
Well, Madison, what are we talking about here—food or men? Not that it matters though, because my answer would be the same to either question: all of the above.
As far as food goes… I love Italian food, and can cook some pretty tasty Italian grub. For this reason, I don’t really like to eat at Italian restaurants. When dining out, I prefer to eat cuisine I can’t make at home. I haven’t mastered the art of Chinese cooking, so I like to hit fancy Chinese joints every now and then. I’m not really down with the fast-food Chinese spots or buffets though. Authentic Mexican fare is another favorite. I can make some mock Mexican dishes at home, but much prefer the real deal at a proper cantina.
OMGOSH! Too funny! LOVE IT! I guess I should have clarified that a bit **snickers**
**Okay, serious question time. ( LOL ) IF there was a zombie apocalypse, what would be your weapon of choice and why?
A huge silo filled with reefer. Smoking pot kills brain cells, right? If we had an ample supply of marijuana, we could all smoke it and kill off our brain cells until our brains became unappealing and unappetizing to the hungry zombies. Then they would starve to death and become extinct. And, hey, even if things didn’t work out as planned, at least we’d all go out with a bang!
PFFT! I am so sorry for blowing my coffee all over you. Let me just get that cleaned up. That is the funniest answer I have ever gotten! And it makes perfect sense LOL!
**What three things would you want to have with you if you were stranded on a mountain?
There are two ways to answer this question.
The most practical response would somehow involve things that could get me off of the mountain—like, (1) a fully-functional helicopter; (2) a well-trained, alert, and sane helicopter pilot; and, (3) enough fuel to safely carry the pilot and me to a non-isolated, civilized destination.
But that answer isn’t any fun! It doesn’t tell you anything about my personality, now does it? So, in the alternative, I’ll say: (1) a Nintendo GameBoy with immortal batteries and a Tetris cartridge; (2) a down-feather pillow in a water-repellant pillowcase; and, (3) black eye-liner. The necessity for these particular items need not be explained.
You are such a riot! I'm all about the eyeliner and I'd add mascara. Both can be used for keeping the harsh glare of the sun out of your eyes (0; LOL That was fun! I love random questions :0) Thank you so much for participating and for sharing a bit of yourself with us, Sarah.
But, we need to get back to your writing career. What do you have planned for the upcoming months? Any super-secret WIP's you can tease us with?
Yep, I’ve got a WIP… It’s called “No. 20,” and it begins: “My name is Salvatore Monticelli. I have killed 19 people, and am currently plotting the death of No. 20.”
I already have the whole story written in my head. All I have to do is tap it out on my keyboard. I started tapping away at it last month, but had to force myself to stop. I don’t start writing a book unless I intend to finish writing it within three to six months. I’m gonna be “going away” for 90 days shortly, so I didn’t want to get too deep into “No. 20” before I left. I’ll just keep developing the story in my head and churn it out when I get back.
Now, to where am I going? Hmm, Madison, I won’t answer, since you didn’t ask. Let’s just say this: It’s not John Stamos’ house…
Wow! I have goosebumps just imagining your next book! So excited! As for you leaving town for a bit...booo! I will definitely miss you and I hope you'll stay in touch :0) John Stamos doesn't know what he's missing.....
Thank you so much for shootin' the breeze with me, Sarah. I really enjoyed having you here.
Now, readers I cannot emphasize enough how badly you need to add Sarah's books to your TBR pile. Alot of you follow my friend Stacey Jo's reviews and you know she means business when it comes to books. So, please get your hot lil' hands on 'Pig' and be sure to let everyone know, by leaving a review on amazon or goodreads what you thought of it. Okay?
Until next time, everyone, I send you hugs and kisses!
XOXOXOXOXOXO,
Madison
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Madison is a fun-spirited gal, to whom my work was referred by Night Owl Reviews reviewer Stacey Jo. Her blog is relatively new, but it's already jam-packed with interesting material. When you're done reading my interview, click on the links to her previous posts and keep reading!
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Repost:
Shootin' The Breeze with Sarah Beth Rem-Martin (Sbr Martin) author of 'Pig' and 'In Wake of Water'
Hi Everyone! Today, I've baked up a batch of brownies and brewed a HUGE pot of coffee. We're having company! Yay!
Today, my dear friend and very talented author, Sarah Beth Rem-Martin a.k.a. Sbr Martin is stopping by to chat. Without further ado, let's get to it!
Hope she likes flowers...
WELCOME to my place, Sarah! Come on in and get comfy. Enjoy the brownies and coffee and we'll get down to business whenever you're ready :)
Sit right there, my beautiful friend while I tell folks a little about your book.
First, I'd like to tell everyone how absolutely amazing your book, 'Pig' is. My friend, Stacey Jo read and reviewed it. That girl was down right speechless! When she could speak again, she was tongue-tied. Now, if you ask me...any book that can do that to her is a book I HAD to read. Stacey Jo was right! I don't want to spoil anything for those who haven't had the chance to read it, but 'Pig' is the most mind-boggling story I have ever read. I thought I had it all figured out and then WHAM! Yes, friends, it is so very damn good!
Here are a few promotional tidbits, purchase links and the review by my friend Stacey Jo. While y'all peruse those, I'm going to get our friend Sarah some more coffee.
Purchase links:
Pig is FREE for PRIME members right now: http://www.amazon.com/Pig-ebook/dp/B0...
In Wake Of Water is also FREE for PRIME members right now: http://www.amazon.com/In-Wake-Of-Wate...
Sbr's website: http://sbrmartin.com/
Stacey Jo's 5 STAR, making a 'Top Pick' Review of 'Pig' for the highly acclaimed Night Owl Reviews: http://www.nightowlreviews.com/nor/Re...
Now let's get back to my guest. Sarah, since this is your first time here I'll let you in on a little secret :)
Instead of doing the normal round of questions, I like to jazz things up. It's a 'get-to-know-you' session and readers love to know real things about their favorite authors. If any question is too personal or you'd rather not answer, just say so, okay?
Sounds good to me, Madison. Ask away—the sky’s the limit!
**Awesome! Since we are coming up on the 'dog-days' of Summer, what's your favorite season?
I like late-fall, when I’m neither sweating nor shivering. I’m a little picky about how I dress. I don’t like wearing shorts, and I hate wearing coats. So fall suits me perfectly, if you’ll excuse my pun.
I have to agree on the 'coats' thing. I want to hibernate every winter.
**Can you pick one thing you LOVE about every season?
My favorite thing about each season is that all seasons change. Each year, we get a little of this, a little of that, something else, and then the other thing. The changing of seasons is one of the only predictable, constant things we have going for us in this world. No matter what is, or isn’t, going on in our personal lives, the seasons continue to change. The Earth keeps on living a life of its own.
Beyond the deeper meaning of it all, I like to watch the seasons change. Seeing leaves turn colors, flowers bloom, tiny snowflakes fall and then melt—it’s all beautiful.
That's a beautiful answer. I have to agree, the magic of it all is wonderful. Sometimes, I just wish I could watch winter in a snowglobe. Ha ha!
**What's your favorite holiday?
Halloween. It’s when all the freaks come out and play. I always liked the holiday as a kid, because I have a sweet tooth and was all about getting tons of free candy. As a young adult, I liked it as a party holiday, where grown-ups got dressed up and drunk. Now that I have kids of my own, I like seeing it through their eyes, witnessing their awe and joy at all that goes down on that festive eve. Plus, I still have a sweet tooth… It’s my duty to ransack their loot.
Agreed! Ransacking is the best part.
**Do you have a favorite food (comfort or otherwise) recipe? If so, would you mind sharing it?
I’m overweight, so there a lot of foods in which I excessively take comfort. In college, when I’d bring a friend home for dinner with my family, I’d always preface their visit by saying, “Once you have dinner at my house, you’ll finally understand two things—why I’m fat, and, why I’m crazy.”
My mom and grandma were great cooks, and I learned a lot from them. But what I learned wasn’t so much recipes as it was techniques. People have asked me to share a recipe with them before, only to be disappointed when I tell them that I have no recipe to share. Sometimes my friends think I’m being elusive, but I’m not. I really do just go with the flow when I cook.
I don't think you're fat, I think you're perfect as you are. I love the fact that you 'wing it' when cooking. Sometimes, that's more fun anyways. Following your own path, right?
**Okay, Favorite drink (alcoholic and/or non)?
How boring is this? My favorite drink is water—very cold water, preferably with chipped ice that I can chew. As far as alcoholic beverages, I avoid them nowadays. I’m a recovering alcoholic. But when I did hit the sauce, I was a Long Island Iced Tea, Irish Car Bomb, and 22-ounce whatever-is-cheapest draft kinda gal.
Congrats on your sobriety! Kudos to you for sharing that with us :0) LOVE IT! I'm not a big drinkin' kind of gal either. Too much to do around here.And water isn't boring, it's the one thing we all need and I commend you for not being afraid to say you love it.
**How about your favorite place to shop?
I am addicted to shopping in thrift stores, absolutely addicted! Not only are the bargains great, but I approach each trip to the thrift store as a mission, a game of sorts, where I am tasked to find either something that is ridiculously more affordable than retail or something that is incredibly stunning because it is true antique, heirloom, or vintage quality.
I’ve found a lot of amazing pieces at thrift stores In Pittsburgh, PA, where I live. From authentic Coach handbags ($12) and Coldwater Creek knit denim jeans ($3.98) to eye-catching jewelry (typically under $10) and mint-condition DVDs ($1.99), I’ve acquired so much cool stuff that’d otherwise be beyond my means.
Again...LOVE IT! There are so many great finds out there and they are cheap! I need to go shopping with you. You've scored some pretty awesome stuff :0)
**Who would you say is your favorite author and what is your favorite book by that author?
My favorite author would have to be John Gardner, author of my favorite book, “Grendel.” I totally dig how Gardner approached that novel, writing as the antagonist in the 8th century epic poem “Beowulf.” But I dig his style of writing even more.
I first read the novel in high school, but still remember my favorite quote by heart:
"Pick an apocalypse, any apocalypse. A sea of black oil and dead things. No wind. No light. Nothing stirring, not even an ant, a spider. A silent universe. Such is the end of the flicker of time, the brief hot fuse of events and ideas set off, accidentally, and snuffed out, accidentally, by man. Not a real ending of course, nor even a beginning. Mere ripple in Time's stream."
Beautifully written. Deep. Disturbing.
I have to agree. I am now hooked and need to read that for myself. Thank you.
**Favorite book series?
Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I loved each and every book in the series, and learned a lot about my own writing goals from Rice’s work. Her characters are so deep and compelling, which is something I like to consider a hallmark of my own fiction.
AR is one of my favorites, also. As for your characters, they are definitely deep and compelling. I can attest to that.
**What is your favorite thing about being an author?
I’ve been profoundly affected by some of the books I’ve read so far in my life. Both my writing and my outlook on life have been honed through reading the works of others. It’s my greatest hope that my writing will reach out and touch someone the way that so many other authors’ books have grabbed a hold of me.
I am moved by the thought of someone miles away from me kicking back with one of my books, sipping coffee as she shakes her head in disbelief every now and then, pausing to consider what she’s just read, or racing to her favorite chair so that she can sit down and pick up where she left off. To think that my words can reach and touch others is a mind-boggling thing.
Beautifully said, Sarah. You definitely touched Stacey Jo and me. We still talk about your book. Constantly shaking our heads because it's phenomenal. I think she'd be a great side-kick for you (if she ever gets un-tongue-tied, LOL). She hasn't stopped telling everyone she meets and knows about 'Pig'.
** What are the top 5 things on your bucket list?
Other than enjoying a long life where I get to see my daughters grow to be healthy and happy, I’d have to say:
1. Write and publish 5 books in 5 years;
2. Have (at least) one of my books turned into a movie;
3. Go to SeaWorld and be the one who gets selected to kiss Shamu;
4. Acquire property along the Maryland-Delaware border, close enough to the beach for easy access but far enough away so as to limit the possibility of seasonal/water devastation; and,
5. Come up with better things to include on my bucket list.
Aww. I love your Bucket List!
**Okay, if someone were to write a book about your life, what would be the title?
“sbr.” It’s short. It’s simple. It’s me.
LOVE!
**What's the one place you've always wanted to go but haven't?
John Stamos’ house…
LOL! I'm sure some of our readers would agree with you.
**What is your all-time favorite vacation spot?
Ocean City, Maryland. Whenever I think of that location, I always smile. My family vacationed there often when I was a child, and my husband and I take our own kids there now. We typically like to go in the off-season, when it isn’t so crowded and is more affordable.
The ocean and the beach are so very stunning, a living portrait of Mother Nature at her best. The way that the boardwalk flushes to the sand and adds human traffic to the equation is intense. Walking on the boardwalk, one can be both a part of civilization and of nature at the exact same time, dispelling the myth that man can’t have the best of both worlds.
Ocean City sounds amazing. Some of my friends have gone and they love it too.
**Coffee or Tea? (yes, it matters (0: )
Coffee. I enjoy its flavor, but not nearly as much as I enjoy its effects. Oddly enough, I didn’t start drinking coffee until I was 30. Before that, the caffeine had such pronounced effects on me that I simply couldn’t drink it. Just one cup had me so wired that I felt like a drug addict with ants under my skin. I couldn’t sleep and had to keep busy with whatever insurmountable tasks I could find.
Once I had kids, however, this all changed. I needed the caffeine boost to keep up with them, and to get things done. The effects have worn off over time. I’ve built up my tolerance, so to speak. But now, like a true addict, I need my daily fix. I’m unapproachable before that first cup of coffee in the morning. So don’t even *try* to talk to me before I’m about six ounces in!
LOL. There I have to disagree. I'm all about the flavor and before my first cup, I'm about as approachable as a mama bear in the Smokies. After that first, heavenly cup, I'm sweet as can be.
**When shopping, do you prefer paper or plastic?
Plastic, by default. I do most of my household shopping at Walmart these days, and they only use plastic. More and more stores, it seems, are doing away with paper. Growing up, my mom used to always say, “Paper and plastic, please.” It made the bags more durable and easier to carry, and we’d use the double-bags as a sturdy trash receptacle in our 13-gallon garbage cans.
Same here.
** Dog or cat?
Woof woof. I’m a dog person through and through, both in terms of pet preference and in terms of my own personality. Petting, kissing, snuggling in bed, going for long walks, being silly, and playing interactive games—I ain’t talkin’ about romance here. I’m talking about life’s essentials, what I need to survive comfortably. I like to get reassurance from others, and like attention, praise, and companionship. Dogs need these things, too—and they tend to dole them out as well.
Cats are too independent for me. Kittens are fun, but the typical cat is a little too adult-like for my tastes. She’s like a mature friend who doesn’t ask much of you, who comes and goes as she pleases and expects you to do things according to her schedule and her needs. Plus, I’m highly allergic to certain breeds of cats. We tried having a kitty for a while, but had to surrender her to the shelter because I couldn’t breathe around her.
As you can see, there's a mix of everything around here/. But, I knew you were stopping by, so I tucked away the kitties for our visit(0:
**Would you rather have Chinese, Italian, Mexican or none of the above?
Well, Madison, what are we talking about here—food or men? Not that it matters though, because my answer would be the same to either question: all of the above.
As far as food goes… I love Italian food, and can cook some pretty tasty Italian grub. For this reason, I don’t really like to eat at Italian restaurants. When dining out, I prefer to eat cuisine I can’t make at home. I haven’t mastered the art of Chinese cooking, so I like to hit fancy Chinese joints every now and then. I’m not really down with the fast-food Chinese spots or buffets though. Authentic Mexican fare is another favorite. I can make some mock Mexican dishes at home, but much prefer the real deal at a proper cantina.
OMGOSH! Too funny! LOVE IT! I guess I should have clarified that a bit **snickers**
**Okay, serious question time. ( LOL ) IF there was a zombie apocalypse, what would be your weapon of choice and why?
A huge silo filled with reefer. Smoking pot kills brain cells, right? If we had an ample supply of marijuana, we could all smoke it and kill off our brain cells until our brains became unappealing and unappetizing to the hungry zombies. Then they would starve to death and become extinct. And, hey, even if things didn’t work out as planned, at least we’d all go out with a bang!
PFFT! I am so sorry for blowing my coffee all over you. Let me just get that cleaned up. That is the funniest answer I have ever gotten! And it makes perfect sense LOL!
**What three things would you want to have with you if you were stranded on a mountain?
There are two ways to answer this question.
The most practical response would somehow involve things that could get me off of the mountain—like, (1) a fully-functional helicopter; (2) a well-trained, alert, and sane helicopter pilot; and, (3) enough fuel to safely carry the pilot and me to a non-isolated, civilized destination.
But that answer isn’t any fun! It doesn’t tell you anything about my personality, now does it? So, in the alternative, I’ll say: (1) a Nintendo GameBoy with immortal batteries and a Tetris cartridge; (2) a down-feather pillow in a water-repellant pillowcase; and, (3) black eye-liner. The necessity for these particular items need not be explained.
You are such a riot! I'm all about the eyeliner and I'd add mascara. Both can be used for keeping the harsh glare of the sun out of your eyes (0; LOL That was fun! I love random questions :0) Thank you so much for participating and for sharing a bit of yourself with us, Sarah.
But, we need to get back to your writing career. What do you have planned for the upcoming months? Any super-secret WIP's you can tease us with?
Yep, I’ve got a WIP… It’s called “No. 20,” and it begins: “My name is Salvatore Monticelli. I have killed 19 people, and am currently plotting the death of No. 20.”
I already have the whole story written in my head. All I have to do is tap it out on my keyboard. I started tapping away at it last month, but had to force myself to stop. I don’t start writing a book unless I intend to finish writing it within three to six months. I’m gonna be “going away” for 90 days shortly, so I didn’t want to get too deep into “No. 20” before I left. I’ll just keep developing the story in my head and churn it out when I get back.
Now, to where am I going? Hmm, Madison, I won’t answer, since you didn’t ask. Let’s just say this: It’s not John Stamos’ house…
Wow! I have goosebumps just imagining your next book! So excited! As for you leaving town for a bit...booo! I will definitely miss you and I hope you'll stay in touch :0) John Stamos doesn't know what he's missing.....
Thank you so much for shootin' the breeze with me, Sarah. I really enjoyed having you here.
Now, readers I cannot emphasize enough how badly you need to add Sarah's books to your TBR pile. Alot of you follow my friend Stacey Jo's reviews and you know she means business when it comes to books. So, please get your hot lil' hands on 'Pig' and be sure to let everyone know, by leaving a review on amazon or goodreads what you thought of it. Okay?
Until next time, everyone, I send you hugs and kisses!
XOXOXOXOXOXO,
Madison
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"Uncovering This Cloud’s Silver Lining: My Spiritual Practices as an Alcoholic" - Guest Post on Loran's Heart
Who said you can't be two places at one time? Thanks to the web, the impossible is possible! Today I made TWO virtual visits.
The first is to Loran's Heart, a website dedicated to spiritual practices and growth. Read my guest post at http...://www.loransheart.com/uncovering-this-c....
And please take the time to look around Loran's site. Loran is the author of three different "Journey" journals, which each prompt the reader-writer to explore parts of herself and motivate enriching change.
Loran and I will be penpals when I am "away," and together we will exchange letters where I work on the steps of her "Transformation Journey." So stay tuned for my follow-up post in a few months, after I have embarked on this journey.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
Repost:
Uncovering This Cloud’s Silver Lining: My Spiritual Practices as an Alcoholic by SBR Martin
This is a very special guest post by SBR Martin. Quite often spirituality plays an important role in recovery from alcoholism. Sometimes it’s a difficult path. (Intro from Loran Hill)
I woke up, drenched in sweat and disoriented. Where was I? Images filled my head, confronting me one after the other: a dozen discarded beer cans; an empty fifth of vodka and two bone-dry glasses; a naked man, a stranger, on top of me, making love to me on the floor of his stall-like shower.
My head started pounding, my heart racing. Was I hung-over? Still drunk? What had I just done? Did I slip… again?
I turned over where I lay and saw my 4-year-old daughter in bed next to me, nestled in the crook of my sleeping husband’s back. My 2-year-old was jumping up and down and giggling in her crib in the far corner. Calmness soon overcame me, for I was home, I was safe—and I was sober. It was just a dream.
Dreams like these are called “drunk dreams.” I, like many other alcoholics, have them every so often. They’re terrifying and uncomfortable, but they’re not so much a curse as a blessing. Five months into my newfound sobriety, I see them as a manifestation of my fears and a reminder of both my successes and my failures. They show me what would happen, and what has happened, if I pick up a drink.
The dreams started some time after the nightmare ended on Feb. 20, 2012. That’s the date of my last drink in a 10-month-long bender of compulsive binge drinking, during which time I forgot I was a wife, a mother, and a human being.
I’d been slightly more than 3.5 years sober when I relapsed. The gestation and birth of my daughters, combined with my creative endeavors, allowed me to stay sober for what was the longest period of sobriety in my adult life (so far). Having been clean for so long, I thought my disease was cured and that I could once more drink like a normal person.
I was wrong. Just one drink opened the floodgates, and soon enough I sunk to new depths of addiction.
I was arrested on Jan. 2, 2012, for driving under the influence and open lewdness. When the cops found me, I was parked and engaged in sexual activity with a 25-year-old rocker boy I’d met a half-hour earlier in the bar. Although it is physically impossible to do what I was doing and drive at the same time, my mere possession of the car keys was enough to constitute the backbone of a DUI arrest, which was fleshed out by my .217% blood alcohol content.
My arrest was a low point, but it didn’t stop me. I kept drinking, regressing at a rapid rate. Over the next few weeks, I fell down and broke the fifth metatarsal in my right foot; wrecked my car into a parked car; and, was sexually assaulted by a stranger with whom I’d hitched a ride.
Things weren’t getting out of control—they were already out of control. I didn’t know how to stop, and, despite the devastation I caused, I didn’t know if I even wanted to stop.
I’d isolated myself from friends and family, who nonetheless kept calling and begging me to seek help. However, it wasn’t until a call was placed to someone else that I finally got the message.
An unnamed person had called the county’s child welfare unit, a representative of which showed up at my door to investigate a claim that my children were being neglected by their alcoholic mother.
I was sober when the rep appeared, and even more so when she left. Upon finding no evidence to support the claim, the case was dropped. But the fact that suspicion had been raised, and that fact alone, was the last straw I needed to break my back. Things had to change.
The first thing I changed was my isolation. I picked up the phone and returned a call I had received from a dear friend. He was a drunk, just like me—only he hadn’t drank in well over a year, and was living a productive life that glimmered with a successful career and a happy family.
This dude used to be hardcore. Though he’d been lucky when it came to things like driving, he had been just as bad as me, if not worse. If he could quiet his demons, maybe I could too.
Because he was like me, I was able to listen to him and take his words to heart, something I couldn’t do when nonalcoholic folks tried to talk sense into me. He understood addiction, compulsion, and withdrawal. He knew what it was like to be in a place where you couldn’t live with, or without, booze.
He suggested that I go to in-patient rehab, to which I reluctantly agreed. My stay in rehab was short-lived, because I jumped on the chance to come home when my husband had difficulty finding adequate childcare in my absence.
Leaving the rehab center after only a few short days, I immediately set up an appointment for out-patient care and again called my dear friend, who suggested that I affiliate myself with other recovering alcoholics post haste.
And so began my path not only to sobriety but also to discovery, growth, and enlightenment. For the first time in my life, I admitted, and accepted, that I was an alcoholic. I finally embraced things I’d shied away from in the past, welcoming the likes of rehabilitation, therapy, and fellowship with likeminded alkies.
What I have now is different than what I had for those 3.5 years—those years were not lived in sobriety. They were nothing more than dry years, where I simply abstained from drinking but remained an alcoholic in my thinking; where I never had any type of program in place; where I didn’t use any outside tools for recovery and selfishly thought I alone held all the power.
So what does any of this have to do with spiritual practice? Simple answer: Everything!
It was through this process, through the ups and downs here described, that I was able to find a certain comfort in my existence and the ability to address life’s situations with level-headedness and gratitude.
In my recovery process, I have heard a prayer repeated constantly. I’m sure you’ve heard it, too. At first, it sounds like a lovely little poem—something that’d look nice on a prayer card or bumper sticker, something easy to recite and to remember.
The prayer goes:
Yep. The good ole’ Serenity Prayer. Told ya’ you’d know it! Do you really know it though?
Something so sweet and simple is very easy to gloss over and undervalue. But if you take the time to really think about the meaning of each and every word, it makes a world of difference, and makes the world a different place.
This one prayer is the basis of my spiritual practice, of my daily living. I say it to myself, aloud or in my head, at least three times a day, more when needed.
It is by this prayer that I am able to face my alcoholism. Each day, I remind myself that I am an alcoholic. I cannot change that fact. What I can change is how deal with my compulsion to drink. I can give in to it, or I can subdue it.
It is by this prayer that I am able to face arguments with my husband, guff from my children, or financial problems. When something comes up, I remind myself that I cannot change my husband’s personality, I cannot change the trials of raising toddlers, and I cannot change the economy. What I can change is how I respond to these stressors.
And it is by this prayer that I am able to face a difficult situation looming in my immediate future.
I did the crime. Now I must pay the time. I have been sentenced to serve 90 days in a correctional facility because of my DUI offense. I cannot change my sentence. What I can change is how I handle my time on lockdown and how I approach my incarceration.
I can enter the facility bitter and closed-minded, or humble and open-minded. I can view my time there as an interruption of my freedoms, or as an opportunity to polish my appreciation for them. I can consider myself damned, or I can find redemption.
The firsts of each of these options are the easy way, and are the way of the alcoholic who is still in denial. I choose the harder choices, taking on the challenge of uncovering this cloud’s silver lining. With serenity, courage, and wisdom, I shall dedicate my time to learning more about myself and God as I understand him. I’ll work to figure out God’s plan for me, and pray for the strength to put that plan into action.
SBR Martin is an author of contemporary psychological fiction. Her most recent release, Pig, was a Second Prize Quarterfinalist in the 2012 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest, where Publishers Weekly wrote of Martin’s work: “The ultimate resolution of the story makes for quite a surprise… (Martin) is able to build good characters, flawed and believable, yet familiar; so that at the end one is saddened, but also, in a strange way, enriched.”
Martin was bred, born, and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where she continues to live and work as a writer, journalist, and mother. She holds a law degree from the University of Pittsburgh School of Law, as well as a journalism portfolio replete with contributions to media outlets such as AOL’s Patch Network and CBS Local Media Pittsburgh.
Pig is her second book, published less than one year after the Oct. 2011 release of her debut novel, In Wake of Water.
Books by SBR Martin:
Pig: available for purchase on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Pig-ebook/dp/B0... and likeable on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/sbrmartin.pig
In Wake of Water: available for purchase on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/In-Wake-Of-Wate... and likeable on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/inwakeofwater
SBR Martin’s other online presences:
SBR can be found online in myriad places, including multiple stops along her virtual tour. Guest posts, interviews, and other visits are chronicled on her Goodreads blog. If you’d like SBR to make a special appearance on your blog/site, contact her directly at sbrmartin@sbrmartin.com.
SBR on Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/sbrmartin
SBR on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/author/sbrmartin
SBR on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/sbrmartin
SBR on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/sbrmartin
SBR on Twitter: http://twitter.com/sbrmartin
SBR on SBR: http://www.sbrmartin.com
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The first is to Loran's Heart, a website dedicated to spiritual practices and growth. Read my guest post at http...://www.loransheart.com/uncovering-this-c....
And please take the time to look around Loran's site. Loran is the author of three different "Journey" journals, which each prompt the reader-writer to explore parts of herself and motivate enriching change.
Loran and I will be penpals when I am "away," and together we will exchange letters where I work on the steps of her "Transformation Journey." So stay tuned for my follow-up post in a few months, after I have embarked on this journey.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
Repost:
Uncovering This Cloud’s Silver Lining: My Spiritual Practices as an Alcoholic by SBR Martin
This is a very special guest post by SBR Martin. Quite often spirituality plays an important role in recovery from alcoholism. Sometimes it’s a difficult path. (Intro from Loran Hill)
I woke up, drenched in sweat and disoriented. Where was I? Images filled my head, confronting me one after the other: a dozen discarded beer cans; an empty fifth of vodka and two bone-dry glasses; a naked man, a stranger, on top of me, making love to me on the floor of his stall-like shower.
My head started pounding, my heart racing. Was I hung-over? Still drunk? What had I just done? Did I slip… again?
I turned over where I lay and saw my 4-year-old daughter in bed next to me, nestled in the crook of my sleeping husband’s back. My 2-year-old was jumping up and down and giggling in her crib in the far corner. Calmness soon overcame me, for I was home, I was safe—and I was sober. It was just a dream.
Dreams like these are called “drunk dreams.” I, like many other alcoholics, have them every so often. They’re terrifying and uncomfortable, but they’re not so much a curse as a blessing. Five months into my newfound sobriety, I see them as a manifestation of my fears and a reminder of both my successes and my failures. They show me what would happen, and what has happened, if I pick up a drink.
The dreams started some time after the nightmare ended on Feb. 20, 2012. That’s the date of my last drink in a 10-month-long bender of compulsive binge drinking, during which time I forgot I was a wife, a mother, and a human being.
I’d been slightly more than 3.5 years sober when I relapsed. The gestation and birth of my daughters, combined with my creative endeavors, allowed me to stay sober for what was the longest period of sobriety in my adult life (so far). Having been clean for so long, I thought my disease was cured and that I could once more drink like a normal person.
I was wrong. Just one drink opened the floodgates, and soon enough I sunk to new depths of addiction.
I was arrested on Jan. 2, 2012, for driving under the influence and open lewdness. When the cops found me, I was parked and engaged in sexual activity with a 25-year-old rocker boy I’d met a half-hour earlier in the bar. Although it is physically impossible to do what I was doing and drive at the same time, my mere possession of the car keys was enough to constitute the backbone of a DUI arrest, which was fleshed out by my .217% blood alcohol content.
My arrest was a low point, but it didn’t stop me. I kept drinking, regressing at a rapid rate. Over the next few weeks, I fell down and broke the fifth metatarsal in my right foot; wrecked my car into a parked car; and, was sexually assaulted by a stranger with whom I’d hitched a ride.
Things weren’t getting out of control—they were already out of control. I didn’t know how to stop, and, despite the devastation I caused, I didn’t know if I even wanted to stop.
I’d isolated myself from friends and family, who nonetheless kept calling and begging me to seek help. However, it wasn’t until a call was placed to someone else that I finally got the message.
An unnamed person had called the county’s child welfare unit, a representative of which showed up at my door to investigate a claim that my children were being neglected by their alcoholic mother.
I was sober when the rep appeared, and even more so when she left. Upon finding no evidence to support the claim, the case was dropped. But the fact that suspicion had been raised, and that fact alone, was the last straw I needed to break my back. Things had to change.
The first thing I changed was my isolation. I picked up the phone and returned a call I had received from a dear friend. He was a drunk, just like me—only he hadn’t drank in well over a year, and was living a productive life that glimmered with a successful career and a happy family.
This dude used to be hardcore. Though he’d been lucky when it came to things like driving, he had been just as bad as me, if not worse. If he could quiet his demons, maybe I could too.
Because he was like me, I was able to listen to him and take his words to heart, something I couldn’t do when nonalcoholic folks tried to talk sense into me. He understood addiction, compulsion, and withdrawal. He knew what it was like to be in a place where you couldn’t live with, or without, booze.
He suggested that I go to in-patient rehab, to which I reluctantly agreed. My stay in rehab was short-lived, because I jumped on the chance to come home when my husband had difficulty finding adequate childcare in my absence.
Leaving the rehab center after only a few short days, I immediately set up an appointment for out-patient care and again called my dear friend, who suggested that I affiliate myself with other recovering alcoholics post haste.
And so began my path not only to sobriety but also to discovery, growth, and enlightenment. For the first time in my life, I admitted, and accepted, that I was an alcoholic. I finally embraced things I’d shied away from in the past, welcoming the likes of rehabilitation, therapy, and fellowship with likeminded alkies.
What I have now is different than what I had for those 3.5 years—those years were not lived in sobriety. They were nothing more than dry years, where I simply abstained from drinking but remained an alcoholic in my thinking; where I never had any type of program in place; where I didn’t use any outside tools for recovery and selfishly thought I alone held all the power.
So what does any of this have to do with spiritual practice? Simple answer: Everything!
It was through this process, through the ups and downs here described, that I was able to find a certain comfort in my existence and the ability to address life’s situations with level-headedness and gratitude.
In my recovery process, I have heard a prayer repeated constantly. I’m sure you’ve heard it, too. At first, it sounds like a lovely little poem—something that’d look nice on a prayer card or bumper sticker, something easy to recite and to remember.
The prayer goes:
God,
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
Yep. The good ole’ Serenity Prayer. Told ya’ you’d know it! Do you really know it though?
Something so sweet and simple is very easy to gloss over and undervalue. But if you take the time to really think about the meaning of each and every word, it makes a world of difference, and makes the world a different place.
This one prayer is the basis of my spiritual practice, of my daily living. I say it to myself, aloud or in my head, at least three times a day, more when needed.
It is by this prayer that I am able to face my alcoholism. Each day, I remind myself that I am an alcoholic. I cannot change that fact. What I can change is how deal with my compulsion to drink. I can give in to it, or I can subdue it.
It is by this prayer that I am able to face arguments with my husband, guff from my children, or financial problems. When something comes up, I remind myself that I cannot change my husband’s personality, I cannot change the trials of raising toddlers, and I cannot change the economy. What I can change is how I respond to these stressors.
And it is by this prayer that I am able to face a difficult situation looming in my immediate future.
I did the crime. Now I must pay the time. I have been sentenced to serve 90 days in a correctional facility because of my DUI offense. I cannot change my sentence. What I can change is how I handle my time on lockdown and how I approach my incarceration.
I can enter the facility bitter and closed-minded, or humble and open-minded. I can view my time there as an interruption of my freedoms, or as an opportunity to polish my appreciation for them. I can consider myself damned, or I can find redemption.
The firsts of each of these options are the easy way, and are the way of the alcoholic who is still in denial. I choose the harder choices, taking on the challenge of uncovering this cloud’s silver lining. With serenity, courage, and wisdom, I shall dedicate my time to learning more about myself and God as I understand him. I’ll work to figure out God’s plan for me, and pray for the strength to put that plan into action.
SBR Martin is an author of contemporary psychological fiction. Her most recent release, Pig, was a Second Prize Quarterfinalist in the 2012 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest, where Publishers Weekly wrote of Martin’s work: “The ultimate resolution of the story makes for quite a surprise… (Martin) is able to build good characters, flawed and believable, yet familiar; so that at the end one is saddened, but also, in a strange way, enriched.”
Martin was bred, born, and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where she continues to live and work as a writer, journalist, and mother. She holds a law degree from the University of Pittsburgh School of Law, as well as a journalism portfolio replete with contributions to media outlets such as AOL’s Patch Network and CBS Local Media Pittsburgh.
Pig is her second book, published less than one year after the Oct. 2011 release of her debut novel, In Wake of Water.
Books by SBR Martin:
Pig: available for purchase on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Pig-ebook/dp/B0... and likeable on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/sbrmartin.pig
In Wake of Water: available for purchase on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/In-Wake-Of-Wate... and likeable on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/inwakeofwater
SBR Martin’s other online presences:
SBR can be found online in myriad places, including multiple stops along her virtual tour. Guest posts, interviews, and other visits are chronicled on her Goodreads blog. If you’d like SBR to make a special appearance on your blog/site, contact her directly at sbrmartin@sbrmartin.com.
SBR on Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/sbrmartin
SBR on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/author/sbrmartin
SBR on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/sbrmartin
SBR on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/sbrmartin
SBR on Twitter: http://twitter.com/sbrmartin
SBR on SBR: http://www.sbrmartin.com
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