Beckie Butcher's Blog: beckiesworld.com, page 10

What countries do you want to visit?England, Germany, Swi...

What countries do you want to visit?

England, Germany, Switzerland, France, Italy, Australia.

Summer! It means baseball, sunshine, and happier days.🤗😊🤗

What is your favorite season of year? Why?

The Loneliness of CFS Part II

Last week, I discussed the feelings of isolation and depression affected us as well as how disease affecting the central nervous system affects relationships and family dynamics as well as judgement from authority figures. I also discussed how more research needs to be done into these factors so healthcare professionals as well as families are better equip to care for those who struggle with CFS. The following are factors which would be helpful to those of us feeling the loneliness and isolation of chronic fatigue syndrome

Contact with the outside world. I believe is the most important. It has been for me, anyway. Facebook and other social media, well, I’m not sure I would do very well without them. Because it is hard to get out for very long, Facebook has been instrumental in keeping me in touch with my friends. Many people don’t consider Facebook friends, “real,” friends, but when one is restricted in socializing, for me, it is a godsend. Church has also been helpful. Anytime you can get out of the house, do it. Even a phone conversation is helpful. At least there is some interaction. For me, just a conversation with a good friend is helpful.

Cognitive-behavioral approach to illness. This involves things like talking your problems out and discovering things about yourself you may have never realized and learning how to cope with and modify certainly behaviors. This helps the healing process. It also involves journaling and putting your innermost thoughts on paper. It is cleansing, and, if you go back months later and read what you have written, you will see where you were at the time as opposed to where you are right now. I noticed this when I wrote my book. Some months after it had been published, I read it. I noticed I had really grown and healed since writing it. I was amazed at how much I had healed and matured.

Family support is also paramount. These are the people you have known longer than anybody else, and they are a very important part of your life. They are the ones who should never turn their backs on you. Other than my mother, I had no family support, and it hurt me deeply. I never got a phone call asking how I was or if I needed anything. It was all about them. Beckie couldn’t do certain things anymore, so they decided not to have anything to do with her anymore. It was very hurtful to discover what kind of a family I really had. Discovering your own familys’ true colors is not easy, but it generally turns out for the best, because what you do discover is who your friends are. Many times, your friends turn out to be even better than family. They become your family.

Empathy from others. Those who struggle with chronic illness need to know others truly care about them. A kind word goes a very long way. Just a call to say, “hello, I am thinking about you,” makes the day brighter. Or, send a nice card. Just knowing someone is thinking of you makes our day happier.

Benefits of peer counseling. It can be helpful to share with others who are in the same boat as you. You can identify with them and they you. Great support and good friends can be found here.

Healthcare providers who will provide care and support. I believe this is very important. We need to have trained professionals who have learned about our illness and who understand how real it is. There’s nothing more hurtful than for a doctor, nurse, or therapist who belittles our situation. They need to have real knowledge of CFS as well as counseling skills to help us with the mental health issues which go with it.

Religion/Faith and spirituality. More than anything or anybody else in my life, God has been the one who has gotten me through these past sixteen years. I believe God has brought all the wonderful people in my life to me. He has brought the people I have needed into my life through my church and through me community. I couldn’t be more grateful.

There is a lack of investigation about the loneliness of CFS. There would be great benefits from studying this. They would include:
1) Finding out if well managed and prolonged social support would be helpful with symptoms of pain in CFS?
2) Would being in support groups offer the same advantages as non-CFS groups?
3) Would online support groups offer the same benefits as in person support groups?

There was a study conducted which showed people who were more open to experiences were more accepting of their experiences in dealing with chronic illness, resulting in a much lower pain perception. This is true of myself. I am not so open to different experiences and this has really hindered me in how I deal with CFS. I now realize my anger and frustration comes from not going with the flow and from trying to control my illness. I can’t control it; I can’t control others not being kind and who aren’t willing to accept CFS being part of my life and how it affects them. This has been an eye-opener for me.

Finding others who are in the same situation as you, however, can make you feel less alone and less different from the rest of the world; it can help rid you of feelings of isolation and loneliness. It is necessary healthcare providers study and understand the feelings of isolation and alienation CFS sufferers experience. We need compassion from those who care for us just as much as those who suffer from cancer or any other illness. The need for compassion is universal.

Well, that is all for now. As I said last week, I will be taking a few weeks of to relax and regroup. I will, however, be checking in to say hello, as I always miss you during these hiatuses I sometimes take. I love you all!

Love & hugs,
Beckie

http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

#cfs #cfsisreal #cfsawareness #cfswarrior #beckiebutcher
#beckiesbattle #beckieoffershope #chronicfatiguesyndrome #wordprompts

Sorry, But….

Hello, everybody. I hope you all are well.
Last week, I started a two part series on the loneliness of CFS. I am writing to let you know I am not feeling well right now, and I will wrap it up in a couple of days. Right now, I am just not up to it. After that, I am going to take a short break, probably until the end of the month. I will stop in to say hello, however. I will miss you, but I will keep in touch.

Thank you, and I love you.
Beckie

Thoughts of Loneliness with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

You know, I have written several series on the science of CFS and relayed information I have researched, but there is more I haven’t addressed which are just as much of the disease as the extreme pain and extreme exhaustion; they are the loneliness and other psychological ramifications which go with it. This occurs in other chronic conditions as well. I did a lot of research on this in the past week, and it is called depression from isolation. Let me explain.

The following are things which I myself have experienced. These are susceptibility to stress, risk of morbidity and mortality, loss of faith in other people, negative emotions, increased fatigue on top of what we already suffer from, depression, and greater severity of symptoms.

Chronic illnesses which affect the central nervous system like CFS/ME have been found to have negative effects of psycho-social development in forty-percent of those who suffer from them. Of course, everyone is different, but the age of the patient greatly affects their perception and perspective. For instance, an adolescent who suffers from CFS misses a lot of school which impacts social growth as well as future career development skills, possibly leading to loss of identity and self, making them question the meaning of life.

Families whose member or members receives a CFS diagnosis often experience disruptions of family dynamics, which include sibling jealousy and rivalry, strained and guilt ridden relationships (the guilt being on the one who is ill because they feel responsible for the strain or possibly because the have been made to feel guilty)which may result in parents and siblings needing to fill different roles such a parents and/or siblings becoming teachers, home schoolers or caregivers and siblings turning into parents. There is a lot of room for resentment there, because nobody in the family can lead a normal life anymore.

Then, there is the group I am in; the single adults with no parents and no dependents. We have a whole different set of issues. We have financial worries which stem from loss of employment and having no means of support from anyone. There also medical costs for which we ourselves are responsible. We go from being strong, independent people who have always supported ourselves and taken care of ourselves, with the freedom of being able to do what we want to physically weak people who must now rely of caregivers, which, believe me, when we have been so self-reliant for so long, is one big, bitter pill to swallow. To add insult to injury, there is such a social stigma to CFS that, many times, others are dismissive of the illness and of us. This is especially true of those who are in authority such as teachers, employers, not to mention friends and family members. You know, the ones we need to understand and support us the most? These are the first ones to turn their backs on us, making it especially hard to cope with being seriously ill. I have found they are also the meanest and most hurtful. These are the ones who should really know better.

However, there are ways to change things. Changing our mindset is one of them. Sure, CFS is a painful and debilitating disease. There are many of them. But we don’t have to give into them. The truth is, we don’t have to be up and at ’em to be useful. What I have learned through all of this is, although there are times when I am housebound or couch-bound, I am still a part of other peoples’ lives and although I may not see them as much as I did when I was well, I still matter to them, and you matter to those in your life as well. It isn’t as much as seeing people as much as it is just needing people to be in our lives. The people in my life know I am there, even if I cannot socialize like I did. Our loved ones just know we are there, and that, to me, is everything.

Also, find an outlet through which to express yourself. If your gift is writing, write a book like I did. Start a blog like I did so you can reach out to others and inspire them with your thoughts. You never know who you will reach, and you might possibly even save somebodys’ life. If your gift is art, draw, sketch or paint. Share your feelings through that. Allow other to,”see” your thoughts and emotions; allow them to,”see” how you are feeling. They eyes are a powerful force, and you never know who you might touch by visualizing what you are living with every day. If you have a gift for speaking, make a video of yourself. Talk about it; talk about your life with CFS. Let the cat out of the bag. It needs to be let out of the bag. Break the silence of CFS. Don’t worry about being judged and/or criticized, because there will always be people who do that. Don’t take it personally, because the truth of the matter is, it just doesn’t matter. Those who dis others’ problems or feelings, well, their day will come, so just be you and do your own thing. There are people who will care, and you never know what you become of your efforts. People might even reach out to you. People have reached out to me through my writing. If you’re wondering what this has to do with being lonely, well, I have met people through my writing. I consider you my, “friends, ” because I communicate to you. You read my posts. This is perhaps a very passive friendship, but I feel it is a friendship just the same. There all all kinds of ways to meet friends. If any of you are artists, you might meet someone else who is also and a foundation for a friendship might be established.

I will have more on the loneliness of CFS next week, so stay tuned!
In the meantime, have a wonderful week and remember, even if it’s in a very passive way, people do need you in their lives. It’ knowing you are there that matters.

Take care of yourselves!

Love & Hugs, Beckie

http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

#cfs #cfsisreal #cfsawareness #cfswarrior #beckiebutcher
#beckiesbattle #beckieoffershope #chronicfatiguesyndrome #wordprompts

What jobs have you had?Cashier, produce clerk, medical as...

What jobs have you had?

Cashier, produce clerk, medical assistant, lab technician.

Do you practice religion?No, I practice faith. I think th...

Do you practice religion?

No, I practice faith. I think there’s a big difference.

Ponderings For A Beautiful Thursday Afternoon

Well, hello all! I hope you all had a blessed week. I certainly have. The weather has stabilized into a beautiful Spring season and the Cubs are finally winning.

Last week, I spoke of how three angels had been brought into my life at just the right time. Well, let me expound on what these lovely people have done for me in the past week.

My heart has become much lighter. It has been purged of all the anger, darkness, and bitterness I had been carrying around with me for months. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted out of it and off of my shoulders, and it immediately filled with peace and joy. I’m not talking about the peace and joy humans give us, but rather the peace and joy only God can give us. It was a sustaining peace. Suddenly, I was filled with love again, and I am up to CFS being, “my Jesus.” I feel stronger and more able to help others through this plight.

It also changed the way I pray. I’m not really sure how to explain it, but it is just different. A healing, perhaps? Perhaps I am more sincere. I am unable to define it right now. Perhaps it isn’t about defining it. Perhaps it is just about being brought back where I am supposed to be in my faith life. Perhaps that’s all that matters. I’ll be honest; it was very hard for me to write and try to give you hope, because I didn’t have much of my own anymore. Well, thanks to my three angels, all that has changed.

Another way my angels helped me is by telling me how God works in numbers.

For example, my house number is 236. When Mom died two years ago, her benefits stopped. I checked to see if there were any survivor benefits and there were none. This left me in a pickle, as my disability benefit was not enough to cover my mortgage and everything else. So, I looked for help. In the meantime, almost every time and looked at the clock or at my cell phone, the time was 2:36. Over and over, I saw the numbers 236. I took this as a sign I was supposed to stay in my house. Yes, this was MY house. That was where I was supposed to be. One way or another, I would live in this house numbered 236.

I have also started reading The Bible again. That has been different also, because, when I thumb through it, it opens to verses which speak VOLUMES to me. For instance, the 23rd Psalm-wait for it-verse six! Yes, and verse six states,”Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” A crystal clear message of how God truly is with me, even when I feel nobody is with me. Wow, interesting.

I am led to Hebrews 12 where it talks about Gods’ discipline and how He disciplines us as our human fathers did because He loves us as they did. It tells us to think of hardship as discipline, which God does because He loves us.

James 4:7 is another one. We are told to submit ourselves to the Lord, resist the devil so he flees from us, and to come near God and He will come near to us. I see it as God knowing what I needed to be reminded of at just the right time. Yes, God knew. He knew I needed help, and He knew just what I needed to hear and to read and when. He always knows. He knows what what you, my readers need as well, and He will provide you with the answers in His time, not our time. His time is the right time. He knows us better than we know ourselves because He created us.

Well, that’s about all for this week. Take good care and I will see you next week!

Hugs, Beckie

http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

#cfs #cfsisreal #cfsawareness #cfswarrior #beckiebutcher
#beckiesbattle #beckieoffershope #chronicfatiguesyndrome #wordprompts

How do you feel about cold weather?Hate it!

How do you feel about cold weather?

Hate it!

Happy Thursday!

Hi, everyone! I hope you are having a great day and I hope all you mothers had a wonderful Mothers’ Day.

Well, another week has gone by, and contrary to how I have been feeling mentally, things are a lot brighter for me. I have more of a spring in my step and I am more like the happy-go-lucky Beckie I was several years ago before Mom became seriously ill. Why, you ask? Because of the angels God has brought into my life; these include Jen, my Stephen Minister through church, and two of my closest friends, Judi and Sue. All of them have helped me put things into perspective in my life. They have listened to what I have said to them and they have helped me sort my feelings out and put the pieces of my life into a puzzle.

This was something I couldn’t do for myself; I was not objective enough to do that. I don’t think any of us are. Sometimes, we need someone who is on the outside looking in to see things as they really are to make the pieces of our lives fit together.

One of them, who also happens to be a missionary and knows and understands the Bible inside and out, was able to minister to me as far as Faith goes. I was telling her how I felt writing was my mission because of my struggle with CFS. She told me, no. She said this is not your CFS, this is your, “Jesus.” I asked her what she meant by that, and she reminded me how Jesus suffered to set us free from our sins and pointed out that is why I am suffering. Dying on the cross was Jesus’ sacrifice so we may be free of our sins, so my struggles and suffering are my sacrifices so I may help you. I found that very interesting. If you think about it though, it’s true. Whatever one persons’ struggle is, it can be used to minister to others for whatever their needs are. We are called to, “die on a cross,” in order to make somebody else’s life better.

Perhaps if we look at our troubles as sacrifices to help others in the world, it would make our problems not seem so bad. Personally, giving to others and being able to help them in some way does my heart a lot of good. This is something I completely forgot, because the evil one got such a stronghold on me. I was deeply hurt by someone not very long ago, which, on top of everything else in my life, about destroyed me. It all went downhill from there. All I was getting out of life was pain and heartache-again. I became very angry and negative-again. This has been the story of my life for fifty-nine years, lol. The evil one totally took over my mind and my life. Well, these angels came along just in time. My missionary friend called me at just the right time, and she told me all the right things. Although I have always known God works for the good of His kingdom and works His purpose out through us, I never thought of our struggles as being our, “Jesus.” But, it makes perfect sense. Just as Jesus suffered excruciating pain on the cross and died for our sins, through our struggles and suffering we are able to help each other and, hopefully, lighten each others’ load.

Now, to be clear, God does not cause our suffering. However, He may not take it from us in order to use it for somebody else’s good. We can lead, and we can inspire. Others who suffer from afflictions can watch us and learn from us, and He calls on His strongest children to do it.

I’m not saying anyone should embrace their afflictions. Of course not, why would we? They stink. They are the works of the evil one, and we should never embrace anything caused by him. We should, however, do our best to make it good. The evil one hates that.

One suggestion from my missionary friend was to listen to worship music all day, every day. He will never get a stronghold that way. That’s one way to keep him away from us.

I feel somewhat rejuvenated and spurred on to, “get with the program,” again, and what a great program it is! Yes! I feel the Beckie from three years ago returning! Yay, me!

Well, that’s all for this week. Take care, everybody, and have a wonderful week!

Hugs, Beckie

http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

#cfs #cfsisreal #cfsawareness #cfswarrior #beckiebutcher
#beckiesbattle #beckieoffershope #chronicfatiguesyndrome #wordprompts