Laura Brewer's Blog, page 11

How To – Design Your Aliens?

So, you want to create a new world and the sentient life that will call it home? First think about the common geographical features, land masses, climate, and atmosphere. There are others, but we’ll start with those. What makes your world unique and what kind of creatures would live there? What defines their characteristics? In short, what makes them tick?

I am going to use my world of Zhyre to demonstrate. Zhyre is hot, steamy jungle, with plenty of rivers and streams. Delta areas tend to flood at some seasons and be swamps other times. Vegetation is dense, the atmosphere thick, and visibility limited. I am not playing with the gravity here, so we will assume it’s like ours. Due to the thick atmosphere, there isn’t a great deal of seasonal temperature change. Think warm to steambath. Most humans would not find it a very comfortable place.

However, the Zhyreans love it.

This race started out as a general idea and developed more detail as I drew on them for some secondary characters. They are thick-skinned reptiles averaging seven ft. in height. As with Earth’s reptiles, they have extremely quick reflexes. Their environment has a direct impact on certain design features. They have thick,scaled skins because of the abundance of insects. Their hearing is far more acute than ours, both in range of sounds they can hear and the fine distinction between sounds. They can sort the sounds of different individual birds among many kinds in chorus. A Zhyrean can see into a broader spectrum than we can and, at close range, it is similar to ours in definition. At distances of over 20 ft. they can see clearly in the infrared only. They have sense organs in their head crests that detect magnetic and electrical impulses, giving them great advantages over humans in high tech societies. All these traits are related to environment.

I decided early on that the Sorthains were not going to have a monopoly on telepathy and psychic abilities. The Zhyreans are easily as gifted in that area, but with a different focus. Where Sorthians tend to perceive psychic force in terms of light or sound, the Zhyreans think in terms of tactile forms and manipulate the power like strands of fiber. Variations in texture, size, and composition of the strands are used to define the result they want in the same way that a Sorthian will visualize light in color, density, and shape. Different means to the same end. Interesting things happen when they work together, but that’s food for another post.

Some of the physical characteristics include lots of very sharp teeth in an elongated snout, not quite like a crocodile, with an expressive headcrest starting just between the eyes and extending down the neck. The crest has spines that can be raised or relaxed depending on their mood, fanned taunt with the spikes jutting signifies aggression. If they also smile, run – it’s a direct threat. Their eyes tend to be bright shades from golden to vivid blues and greens. Their skin is scaled and ranges from a blue-green to emerald with other colors sometimes present in highlights. They get darker with age.

Socially, they’re a friendly people, open, honest, and quick to laughter. They love storytelling. They are strong in their convictions and their friendships. It is not not a good idea to try and cheat them though. They have direct methods of addressing justice.

Their cities are built on higher ground away from flood zones and known for their intricate architecture. Textures are many and varied, as their focus is more tactile than visual. They tend to excel in all the sciences and mathematics. They also have some of the best weavers in the known galaxy.

Now, that was probably far more than you wanted to know about my Zhyreans. Most of those details haven’t actually come out in the books, and probably never will. I needed to know them well though, as you will need to know your own creations in depth to write about them.

You probably have a general idea of the kind of aliens you want, just like I did. That’s a to good place to start. Now think about where they will live and in what way that might affect their design. The Zhyreans are nearly blind at over 20 ft, because the jungle is so dense. Also related to the jungle is the sensitivity to magnetic and electrical anomalies. They navigate by awareness of the magnetic lines on their world, sensitivity to electrical activity was also originally due to environment.

How does that relate to modern, cosmopolitan Zhyreans? They are really good with electrical devices and can sense the actual flow of electricity in equipment. This becomes very important in the third book of the Talmanor trilogy. I won’t give away exactly how, but it’s a game changer for the Coalition. The sensitivity also gives them the equivalent of a build in threat receiver, as well as GPS. All together, they are a formidable race with the confidence to be friendly and open. No one in their right mind would want them for enemies.

So, when designing your aliens, think carefully about how interaction with their world, and sometimes their history, would affect who and what they are.

 

On the Naming of Characters – and other tidbits

I have had a number of people ask me how I come up with such original names. The answer is both simple and complex. Simple part first – brainstorming, lots of brainstorming. Sit down with a notebook and just start putting sounds and letters together with little thought to how the results may look. I try to use all the alphabet and different combinations of vowels. Don’t throw anything out yet. (Actually, I’d advise you never to throw any of these results out. You never know when it will come in handy.) This list is a good starting place for the names of people and things or even alien language words.

Now, the complex part. If you are writing a Earth based story, past, present,or future, there are ample resources to work with and you don’t really need to invent names. If you are like me, however, and have invented an alien world/culture/language or ten, then you need to make some decisions about how the language is supposed to sound.  Some of the sounds may be dependent on physical characteristics of the race. I have a reptilian race whose language ranges from sibilant to guttural.

All languages have a distinct flavor and this influences names. An easy example is the common name of John. In other languages, the same name is found in different forms: Jean, Johanne, Jose, Ivan, etc. Your characters, and therefore your story, will be more believable if you create your names with this in mind. You would not have a character born to ethnic Chinese in Beiging named Abernathy, at least not without some explanation. You probably won’t find an Irishman named Gustav, either. Choose a flavor for your language and then take a look at your list. Which names fit, or will fit with minor changes? Make note of them, even begin to assign them to characters. Do you have gender related conventions? Many languages do, often related to endings. Jean is male, but Jeanne is female.

It gets murky from here and entirely subjective. Some will just sound like a protagonist to you, or maybe the officious secretary your main character wants to strangle at the first encounter. Don’t be afraid to take a real name and put an alien variant on it either. In my new trilogy, Diedre becomes Deiadri, similar, but with a different pronunciation and a unique feel that fits the character, and the language, very well. I have sometimes looked at maps for names of towns and places as a starting point, shifting letters around or replacing one or two to come up with something strange.

The same holds true for other proper nouns. For those worlds your characters interact with, you may want to develop the language for some words and phrases. Some names will even reflect this. Raith is the name of one of Sorth’s moons and alos is their word for fire. Raithalos is the name of a character and means moonlight.

There is a lot more involved in this language business if you get very serious with it. I first developed the concept of Old Sorthian as a different kind of construct than other human languages. Since Sorthians are telepathic, it made sense to have their ancient language convey complex thoughts and ideas in single words or short phrases, just as those thoughts would be communicated directly. The later need for some technical detail would have added a new dimension to it. After encountering other worlds, they developed a newer, descriptive language for easier interaction but retained the old, mainly for formal occasions.

Human languages, on the other hand, are largely descriptive fragments of ideas that must be put together to convey a complete thought. I think that would be true of most alien languages as well. Then again, you never know. My characters may encounter a race that communicates in a complex series of whistles over several octaves and may be partly beyond the human range to hear, much less comprehend.

Really, the only limit is your imagination.

Distractions Everywhere

The Holidays are here and with them, distractions. There is travel, parties, visits with family and friends, all of which are good. The only problem I have with them is keeping focused on writing. My social life is usually minimal, by choice. The approach of Thanksgiving changes that. Until January, I am suddenly besieged by events I feel pressured to attend, from family holiday reunions to various groups, all of whom have Christmas parties. Finding time to write is a challenge. Refocusing my thoughts is even more so.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and this is the only time I get to see some of them. I wouldn’t miss it, but there is no denying that I find it very hard to reenter my story worlds after hours of reminiscing. Not to mention stuffing myself to the gills on some really good food. Throw into the distractions an unfamiliar laptop, that was supposed to make writing on the go easier, but seems determined to balk at working with my favorite programs. It makes for an extremely low word count.

Sorry NaNoWriMo, I’ll do better next year. On the upside, I did get some writing done, which is an improvement, and some of it was quite good. I may not have made any where near the NaNo goal of 50k, but I did get a great start on the next trilogy.

This is something I need to work on, this writing in the midst of chaos, staying focused in compartments of time that are separated from the activities around me. I find myself looking forward to the snows of January and February that isolate both body and mind to fashion a sort of creative cocoon that sets thoughts free from the bonds of the outside world. Deep winter is the best time to write, so bring on the snow!

 

 

Art of Revision – Part 4

Dialogue is an often abused story element. It can be a powerful tool for developing the plot, characters and for showing glimpses of background information. As mentioned in the last post, balance is essential. Good dialogue is dynamic. Bad dialogue is as boring as sitting and listening to someone drone on and on about a subject in which you have no interest.

When using dialogue to put in relevant background information, make certain to keep it sparse and, if at all possible, make it a story within the story that will capture the imagination of the character hearing it. If the character, within the story, has a reason to be interested in hearing something, the reader is more likely to follow along. Avoid lecture mode at all costs. If you need to put in a lengthy explanation of some technical detail, switch to either the character’s observations or a bit of narrative. Better yet, break the details into bits you can harmlessly scatter in the story without damaging the dynamics of the plot.

Why is this so important? Have you ever watched a soap opera? The characters are constantly telling each other what happened in yesterday’s/last week’s episode you are sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for them to say something new. No, that is not something I find entertaining, though my grandmother did. If you are not careful, using dialogue to fill in background information will sound like a soap opera.

Dialogue tags are another thing that new writers often use inappropriately. ‘She snickered’ is not a dialogue tag, it is a gestural pause.  You cannot snicker and talk at the same time, not coherently anyway. There is nothing wrong with he said/she said. I would highly recommend interspersing gestural pauses and character observations in the dialogue. It not only breaks up the straight dialogue, it gives the scene substance and aids in identifying the speaker in a natural way. Just don’t overdo it. Digressions into unnecessary descriptions of scenery will make the reader forget what the characters were even talking about. As in the last post, it is all about balance in your writing.

Take a look at the following short scene.

“Mrs. Martin, Tommy is failing math. His work is unsatisfactory,” Mrs. Hanson complained. “Look at this test paper.”

“You haven’t been teaching anything they didn’t already cover last year, Mrs. Hanson. He’s bored. Try giving him something new,” Mrs. Martin growled.

“He’s lazy and inattentive,” the teacher declared.

“Tommy is bored of the repetition that seems to be the only way you know how to teach. If you’d give him some challenges you’d find an amazing change in his work, I’m sure,” Mrs. Martin accused.

“I can’t do that when he can’t even keep up!” Mrs. Hanson screamed.

Like this, it reads like a ping pong game. It’s two talking heads trading words. Now, lets try it again.

“Mrs. Martin, Tommy is failing math. His work is unsatisfactory.” Mrs. Hanson shoved a paper in her face. “Look at this test paper.”

Mrs Martin scanned the paper and looked up, eyes narrowed. “You haven’t been teaching anything they didn’t already cover last year, Mrs. Hanson. He’s bored. Try giving him something new.”

“He’s lazy and inattentive.” The teacher’s expression hardened, lips pressed into a prim line.

“Tommy is bored of the repetition that seems to be the only way you know how to teach. If you’d give him some challenges you’d find an amazing change in his work, I’m sure.” Mrs. Martin struggled to remain civil.

She snatched the test paper back, shoving the crumpled, torn test into the pile on her desk. “I can’t do that when he can’t even keep up!”

Where the first is words being batted back an forth, now we see movement, expression and a tiny bit of interaction with the setting.  Instead of being flat, it starts to come alive. An occasional ‘she complained’ is fine, sometimes it’s the best way to get across your intent, but when you ground a dialogue scene with bits of action, it takes on life.

The Art of Revision, Part 3

As I was going through this year’s NaNoWriMo project, I noticed I had written several scenes largely in dialogue with very little in the way of description. It reminded me of an exercise our writers group did some years ago to work on balance in you writing. When revising, pay attention to how you use the following elements. Often a tiny change can convert an entire scene.

There are three things that drive a story forward, dialogue, narrative, and a character’s thoughts/observations. Each one creates a distinctly different aspect to a scene.

Dialogue that is not interspersed with actions or thoughts reads flat and sometimes too fast. Straight narrative is the author telling the reader what is happening from outside the story and is generally too impersonal, though occasionally useful if you need to document the passage of time when nothing is really going on. Even then, I prefer to keep it at least marginally within a single character’s view. The third way, of actually observing events from within a single character’s thoughts is more intense and enables you to better engage the readers emotions, but it can be clumsy used alone.

Doing this exercise is a good way to see how to balance your writing. I strongly encourage you to try it on one of your own scenes. You’ll be surprised at how different the versions come out. I found my effort at this and I’ve added it below as an example, even though it’s a bit long. The version I actually used was a combination of all three. You’ll see how each version gives a different perspective and even different information.

Scene in dialogue only. Notice how flat it reads. -

“…the attack in the pass was aimed at children, not a fighting force that was in any way threatening them.  The Thess’ns attacked with no warning and we were fortunate to have picked up their presence as quickly as we did.  Without that, the death toll would have been closer to one hundred thousand.  Tar Ne Vedrith has been devastated, our greatest artistic treasure demolished, and invaluable historic records dating back over three thousand years are in ruins.  Yes, we repelled the attack, my fellow Ambassadors, but at what cost?  How many must die before this body will declare war and begin to fight back?” Nafron asked.

“Should we take war to the Thess’ns over a minor raid with less than two hundred casualties?  What has Sorth ever done to try to reach a settlement with the Thess’ns Empire?  Have you not in fact engaged in regular covert operations along with the Traders Guild aimed at undermining the Thess’ns control over worlds within their own territory?  Is it possible that the Thess’ns are responding to Sorthian hostility?  I will not be a part of any aggression towards the Thess’n Empire,” Donovan, Ambassador of Perrical, said.

“Donovan, I am not aware of any law which states that free trade which is beneficial to both parties constitutes a hostile act or an attempt to undermine the control of a parent government.  It is true that there are some Sorthian merchant ships, Traders Guild, even some flying under Tarrellian, Zhyrean, and Dagosian registry, to name a few,  that have engaged in trade with some worlds within the Thess’n Empire.  Are you trying to outlaw trade outside the Coalition membership then?” Nafron replied.

“The Ambassador of Sorth has brought up an important point.  It has past the point where delay is an affordable luxury.  In spite of what the Inner Systems Cartel would have us believe this is not an isolated incident directed solely at Sorth.  Tarrel and Zhyre have had grave losses in both ships and colonial interests.  Cuath was decimated and we saw first hand what the Thess’ns did to Othcaris two years ago.  Additionally, there have been numerous attacks on outposts in strategic locations.” Ambassador Shazir said.

“What hope have you, Ambassador Donovan, when they attack Perrical?  What worlds, other than those housing the main Fleet bases, are any better able to defend themselves?  Tarrel is not,” Kenderban, Tarrel’s Ambassador asked.

“I disagree.  We should be seeking a diplomatic solution to this incident rather than fanning the flames of war.  We must put a stop to the raids being conducted in Thess’n territory by the Guild and their Sorthian allies.  We must work for a peaceful coexistence with the Thess’n Empire,” Carden of Aerlon said.

“That’s already been tried!”

“We cannot force them to listen, Carden!”

“Why should the Coalition have to follow Sorth’s tradition of warmongering?”

“Every emissary we have sent has disappeared, you know that.”

“Ambassador Carden, you are welcome to personally try to negotiate with the Thess’ns at any time,” Shazir, the Zhyrean Ambassador shouted.  “I am sure we would all be interested to see how you fare in the Citadel.”

“Ambassador Shazir, you will make no further threat to any member of this assembly,” Prescentor Gyldann said.

“Your Excellency, I think Ambassador Shazir has a valid argument.  It Ambassador Carden seriously thinks peace may be negotiated, he should undertake to do so.  Otherwise, this is nothing but a theatrical delaying tactic on his part.  Personally, I think that Sorth, as well as the other worlds that have been victimized by the Thess’ns, have been extremely tolerant in this matter.  How many more lives must be lost before we recognize the fact that whether we like it or not, we are already at war?  We must take the necessary steps to defend ourselves and put this in the hands of our military where it belongs,” Ambassador Layconn, of the Chaldean colony, said.

Description only. Notice how it makes you feel like a spectator.

The Coalition Assembly chamber was packed.  No one was going to miss this session.  Every Ambassador along with their entourage was formally attired, adding bright splashes of sometimes eye searing color to the pale marble of the chamber.  They sat in precisely arranged cubicles, the ones above floor level looked like miniature balconies.  There were only seven such cubicles on the floor spaced in a semicircle around the dais, where each was supposed to speak in turn.  Prescentor Gyldann of Shilos, a world well known for its traditionally neutral politics, presided over the Assembly.

The fact that the seven founding worlds held a minimal majority of fifty-one percent of the votes at all times by law, rankled some of the older colonies.  In particular, those that made up the Inner Systems Cartel, a group of colonies that had been self-sufficient for centuries and were the principal source of the Coalition’s high-tech manufacturing.  They had been working hard to break the solidarity of the seven, so far to no avail.  They had more success in buying influence among the younger colonies and newer member worlds where trade agreements could be used to buy votes.  They seemed determined to oppose the founding worlds on any issue as a matter of principal.  This was beyond frustrating to the seven, who were far more thoroughly educated in the history of Coalition’s beginnings – and the reasons behind the majority rule.

Unfortunately, the issue before the Assembly required more than a simple majority to pass.

Ambassador Nafron gave a vivid account of the attack on Sorth, pointing out both how well defended Sorth was and how deeply into Coalition territory the Thess’ns had penetrated without being detected.  Nafron maintained his usual calm demeanor as he spoke, but few failed to notice the silver streaking his once raven hair or the deep grief that etched lines around his mouth and eyes. The other Ambassadors on the floor were in staunch support.  The Ambassador from Sellist was outraged and looked ready to shout down anyone who might oppose Nafron in demanding a declaration of war.  Shazir, the Zhyrean Ambassador, was less openly angry, but the dark color in his head crest and the tauntness in the saurian’s lean body reflected an unusual degree of inner agitation.  The entire Assembly maintained respectful silence during his address, though whispers buzzed through the balconies as soon as Nafron finished speaking.

Ambassador Donovan was the first to take the floor from the Cartel.  He claimed Sorth was making a small raid into a war and opposed any retaliation against the Thess’ns.  His voice fairly oozed contempt in spite of his mild tone as he accused Sorth of conducting covert ops against the Thess’ns, which was partly true, thought nearly everything to this point had been gathering intelligence in a passive manner.  That everything they had done was with the full approval of, and in some cases at the request of, Stellar Admiral Deece was not mentioned at all.  That was not something the Cartel was briefed in on.  When he went so far as to suggest that the Thess’ns had attacked in response to Sorth’s hostile acts, Ambassador Kenderban half rose from his seat sputtering in anger.  Kenderban’s assistant laid a restraining hand on his superior’s shoulder.

Nafron inquired mildly if Donovan was suggesting that free trade could be considered a hostile act and in what way this was a threat to the Thess’n Empire.  It was hostile, of course, just not illegal.  The worlds subjugated by the Thess’ns were essentially slaves and the Thess’ns took exception to them being able to trade the products of their labors for what ever they wished.  That most of what was traded was food and medical supplies made the accusation doubly insulting.  The Guild ships operating behind the lines did not trade arms, usually.  The only real exceptions were weapons confiscated from the enemy.

Shazir rose, taking his turn to remind everyone that Sorth was not the only world who had suffered Thess’n attack in recent years.  His mention of the attack on Othcaris brought back memories of the unedited record they had seen in this very chamber of the results of that raid.

Ambassador Carden, of Aerlon, pulled out the stops then.  He suggested they should be seeking to negotiate a peace with the Thess’ns, in spite of the fact that the Thess’n Empire seemed to have no diplomatic arm at all and every previous attempt at diplomacy had resulted in the disappearance of the envoy.  At this statement, things deteriorated into a shouting match.  Shazir took the dais in a single leap and bellowed loud enough for all to hear.  Using the most pleasant of tones, he suggested Carden should personally negotiate with the Thess’ns as soon as it was convenient.  His cordial seeming words were denied by the fierce manner in which the saurian’s head crest was fanned taunt, spikes jutting aggressively.  The threat had the desired effect.  The room was stunned to silence.

Carden flushed, he hadn’t really meant to go that far.  He was not suicidal.  He flushed deeper still when Layconn of Chalder rose and called him on it, suggesting that his statement was nothing but theatrics.  The meat of Layconn’s message followed though, the observation that the Coalition was already at war, whether they liked it or not.  A number of the Cartel’s allies began to shift nervously in their seats.

 

In one characters thoughts. While intimate, this is still lacking the impact it should have. Alone, it is a cumbersome way to tell a story.

Anger grew, overpowering the frustration Nafron felt.  The chill of it had even begun to numb the pain of his torn and bleeding soul.  His Voraila was gone, the Crystal Towers were shattered – and the foolish children in the Cartel were playing power games when they should have been concerned about protecting the people they were here to represent.

Still, he was a diplomat and politician.  It was his job to convey the urgency of the situation to the rest of the Assembly.  He gave a vivid account of the attack on Sorth, allowing his words to build images in the minds of the representatives.  Nafron wished he could get away with projecting some of those images directly in to their thoughts.  The idea, perversely, made him feel better.  He wouldn’t do it of course; that would be illegal in this company and beyond his abilities in any case.

Disquiet crept over him as Donovan took the floor next.  Nafron suppressed his personal reactions to the man’s inflammatory speech.  How dare he accuse Sorth of causing the hostility?  Nafron scanned the faces of the other worlds in the Cartel and did not like the smugness he saw there.  Equally revealing was the uneasiness of divided loyalties that only occurred when someone had been bought – and possibly regretted it, or at least looked as though they feared regret loomed on the horizon.

Nafron kept his response mild, much better to let the opposition humiliate themselves than to encourage debate which could carry on forever.  He kept faithfully to his role as the patient, elder statesman that he was.  He had served as Sorth’s Ambassador even longer than he had been Lord of Talmanor.  That gave him at least one hundred years experience over every other representative in the Assembly.

He was grateful for the unquestioned support of the other founding worlds.  The solidarity of the seven on most issues of any real long-term importance was probably the only thing that had saved the Coalition so far.  Shazir, Zyhre’s Ambassador, hit exactly the right tone in reminding the Assembly of the other victims of Thess’n attacks.  Reminding them of Othcaris was particularly useful.  That primitive world had done, could have done, nothing to provoke the Thess’ns wrath other than simply existing.   The evidence of the brutal attack had been broadcast in this very chamber, the unedited version, rather than the one that had been cleaned up for the news people to use.  He could see it in their faces, they had not forgotten.

Nafron carefully schooled his expression when Carden stood.  The man was a pompous windbag, but a dangerous one.  The fool echoed Donovan in urging a diplomatic solution.  He even went so far as to suggest that Sorth and the Traders should abandon all activity in Thess’n territory.  Since what they were mainly engaged in was trade, bringing in food and medical supplies to some of the worlds under Thess’n domination, the suggestion was insulting.  True, those same people also gathered intelligence reports to be forwarded to the appropriate authorities, but they were not conducting combat operations except in self-defense.  At least, not yet.  Nafron felt a tiny trickle of satisfaction pierce the cold lack of emotion that was what Sorthians experienced as anger.  Alcar was out there now and that situation would soon change, but this Assembly didn’t need to know that.

Carden’s speech set off the angry free-for-all that had probably been his goal in the first place.  If so, Nafron thought, he was going to get it in the gut.  It was difficult not to smile when Shazir leapt up and bellowed over the tumult, suggesting that if Carden wanted to negotiate he should do so.   Since they had never heard from any previous envoy to the Thess’n Empire, this was tantamount to a direct threat.  Carden had obviously stepped over an invisible line and he was more than a little embarrassed to be called on it.  Kenderbran, of Tarrel, another good friend of Nafron’s, reinforced Shazir’s slap in the face in slightly politer terms.

That shook up some of the colonial worlds that had been bought off by the Cartel’s trade agreements, but not enough.  Nafron knew it would take something more to push the vote over.  It was a kind of maneuver warfare he hated, especially since it seemed he was running out of both maneuvering room and fresh ammunition.

The Art of Revision, Part 2

There are several stages we go through when we decide to write and the first one usually involves a tender ego that can be smashed rather quickly with the least bit of criticism. This is where you want your best friend to read your work and gush. If you are lucky, this will keep you from quitting until the gushing gets on your nerves and you realize it can’t possibly be that good.  You start to question exactly what you need to do to fix it.

Congratulations! You have reached the learning stage where your writing will really take off and your skills improve. Many would-be-writers never make it this far. If you have, this is where you need to seek out the input of other writers.  We help each other. Get online and start looking.  Find a group of writers who will discuss the finer points of your book and help you see what you need to see in order to grow. The important thing is that you get with people who share your interests, but will also broaden them. You want to grow, not pat each other on the back all the time.

I found a large group to start with.  It was fun. I spent a lot of time in chat with the others discussing writing in general. It was good at stimulating creativity – and wasting a lot of time. One really good thing came out of it though, I met several other writers in there.  We decided to form our own crit group. We kept it fairly small, I think there were eight or nine of us in the beginning. That’s a good number. Not so many that you can’t keep up with the people wanting your input and enough to give you a good mix of feedback.  Everyone sees different things. Also you must be willing to give feedback as well as get it.

In stage two, it’s time now to grow a tough hide. It hurts when someone says your baby is full of comma splices, boring dialogue and your characters are flat. Get over it. If a crit hurts, and any really good one will on an early draft, sleep on it. Do not ever respond in anger, on the spur of the moment, to any statement about your work, no matter how far off the mark you think it is. The next day take a deep breath and look at the crit again – objectively.  Ask yourself some questions.  First, is it true? Second, is it relevant? Last, what can I do about it? Now, keep in mind, some crits will be wrong. If one person out of five tells you your plot doesn’t work, give it some thought. If three people tell you that, you’d better sit down and talk with them about exactly what they see as wrong and how it might be fixed. That’s what revision is all about. Good critiques are essential.

Be willing to explore options.  If you keep your mind open, amazing things will happen. If you stubbornly keep your mind closed to any changes because it’s your book and you are going to write it your way, period – you won’t grow as a writer and your work will never have a professional polish. I can’t tell you the times I have had my toes stepped on because I had made some basic errors and thought it should be just fine the way it was. It wasn’t and I was so hardheaded it to take several people telling me the same thing before I really started to listen.

One of the things that made an impression on me was critting other people’s work and seeing my own mistakes in their writing. Talk about having your personal bubble busted! You need to take the time to crit other people’s WIP. You gain insight into the process and into your own work. It’s rather like the way I have never taught a class that I didn’t learn something as well.

Somewhere in stage two, you come to cherish getting your toes stepped on. You have a good grasp on the essential skills and want every single word to be the best it can be. I hope, that no matter how far I may go in my writing, I never get out of this stage.

A note about giving crits. Be kind in your honesty. That can be extremely difficult sometimes. Watch your wording to make sure it doesn’t come across as an attack, keep it impersonal. If the work you are looking at is obviously immature and at the early stage, you may have to gently lead them into improving their prose, rather than hitting everything at once that needs to be fixed. Always take the time to tell them what you liked and what they did well. We need to know that, just as much as we need to know what’s wrong.

Recognizing where the other person is in the process can be tricky. If a person is at stage one, there isn’t much you can do to help them unless they happen to trust you enough to be teachable. Even then, handle with care. If the writing is horrid and they think they should be able to make the best seller list next week, smile, say congratulations and walk away. Don’t even try to give a crit. I am discovering that a person who’s truly ready to learn, will ask you to tell them what needs work.

 

The Art of Revision, Part 1

Recently, I have read some Indie novels that are the reason for the oft spoken advice, “Get your work professionally edited.” First, I don’t entirely agree with the idea of paying someone to edit, but they do have a point. There is a lot out there that’s poorly written. Work that could be amazing stories, if the writers took the time to learn their craft.

The latest novel, which shall not be named, is tied up from the beginning in the main character relating an long, involved fantastic event that had happened to him as a child.  I have not gotten quite a third of the way through it, my eyes keep glazing over. Discussions on how to effectively set up a story arc will be the subject of a later post. The biggest problem in the glazing of my eyes was a combination of flat dialogue, ineffective use of physical gestures and actions – and an overwhelming descent into descriptions of trivial details.

Man, does that story need revision! One of the most succinct statements I have ever heard came from David Coe, author of Winds of the Forelands series, at a writer’s conference two years ago. It was so important, I wrote it down.

“Every sentence you write should do at least two of the following three things; advance the plot, develop the character(s) and provide background information. Ideally, it will do all three.”

No, this is not a matter of packing a sentence with things that don’t belong in it.

“Charlie, did you see my new, bright blue truck, with a built in gun rack that we can use for fishing poles too, that I got just in time to take the girls out to the lake this weekend?”

Sounds silly, doesn’t it. (Sorry, folks, I had to stretch for a bad example.)

Strong writing, that is able to grab a reader and not let go, must be lean. Revision is most often cutting away the excess words. Glorious descriptions of colorful, vivid, exciting scenery, flawless architectural detail, with an abundance of softly swooping butterflies hovering over the edge of the sparkling lake… will glaze the eyes and put the readers mind to sleep faster than the begats in the Bible. Don’t get me wrong, descriptions can have tremendous impact in helping to put the NOW in the story – when seen through the eyes of the character. In the right place, a vivid description can begin to involve the reader’s emotions before a single word is spoken, before a single action is taken. The following paragraph is from Dream Song, soon to be released.

Emerald eyes blazed as Alcar leaned forward, hands pressed to the polished table. Kirrlea watched as he stared incredulously at the stony faces of the Singer Council. Her mind cringed at the anger she felt simmering below the surface of his thoughts and urged caution. It would do them no good to set the Council against them.

Even if it is my own paragraph, it’s a powerful one. No one moved.  No one has spoken. The only detail about the setting is the polished table, yet the paragraph screams tension. It is lavish in both detail and verbs that transport the reader into the scene by their own emotions. We can feel Alcar’s anger, Kirrlea’s concern and the Council’s resolve.  We don’t know what the conflict is, but we sure know there is one. Each element in the sentences convey clues to the characters and the core of the plot.

This happens to be the first paragraph of Chapter One.  I just went looking for the first draft of this book.  I won’t quote it, but I think my eyes would have glazed over. Let’s just say it was full of tedious descriptions of the setting, characters, the time of day and leave it at that shall we?

But, we want to see where the story is taking place. The setting is important too, you say? You are right, again it should be carefully crafted and never over done. The following is also from Dream Song and shows how an occasional lapse into what has been called “boondogle” can be useful, both to ground the reader in place and time and, in this case, to provide stark contrast to the scene to follow.

The Coalition Assembly Complex was located on Caledeon, jewel of the Coalition.  Pale marble facades gleamed under an azure sky.  Shell pink sand raked into smooth paths wound between tropical blossoms in riotous color that flanked the imposing entrance to the palatial structure.  A colorful mix of formal attire adorned the people gathered on the steps before the doors.  No one wanted to be late for this session.  The alignments of interest and who was allied with whom was apparent in the way they were grouped together while they waited.  There was little surprise there, Nafron was well aware of the Cartel’s allies.

I deliberately provided some detail to the setting, a lush backdrop for a contentious meeting that narrowly avoided qualifying as a riot. Note that it does not detail the types or sizes of the trees, nor the exact architectural style, nor the clothing styles currently in fashion among the diplomats.  There are a few places I mention such details, but they are rare.  I wonder though, did you have any problem getting a clear visual image of the scene as described? I doubt it. You have an imagination and the wise writer learns to draw the reader in and let them flesh out the details themselves, drawing active reader participation into the process.

The exceptions are when the details are important to the – plot, character and background information.

Where the hero noticed the murder weapon lying under a bush is important, but I don’t think we really need to know what other trash had accumulated under there, do we? I think that could be covered in – the nauseating smell of the trash as he gingerly plucked out the knife.

I leave it to the reader to decide their interpretation of the nauseating smell or exactly what an imposing entrance to a palatial structure would look like. It’s more readable and a lot more intense that way.

Until next time, happy writing.

 

Writing is Fun – Marketing is something else

Writing is fun. I am constantly entertained by my own imagination. It’s almost as good as a room full of rambunctious kittens and they are better than any TV program ever invented, IMO.

I started Selarial’s Song a long time ago – a very long time ago.  On legal pads with a pen – then eventually something called a smart typewriter.  I remember thinking – if only I could teach it names. Yes, in ancient times before computers were common. The time came when a close friend happened to notice what I was doing. (Actually, that’s a lie, I grabbed the first few pages and rushed to her house to show her, just like every other newbie.) Pitiful as that early effort was, Anne became my cheering section. If It hadn’t been for that, I would have quit. She believed in what I was doing so much, she had her husband bring his computer to my house for a year. A nearly state-of-the-art Tandy that you had to, not only load the data you were working with, you first had to load the program. Talk about support! How could you possibly quit with that to remember? Okay, maybe I can write.

The journey has been long and I don’t recommend writing in a vacuum, other than a lone cheering section. Then along came the internet. It had people – who’d even get together to discuss writing! I was astonished. Why, I could find someone to discuss anything from diplomacy to weapons engineering! And we did. That even made for some diverting side paths. The variety of associates I developed back then (some of them are still with me) spent more time editing each others books than they did their own sometimes. We argued. We Laughed. We learned. We wrote – a lot. We talked about publishing, agents, sent out some queries. Okay, maybe I can write, but I’ll never be published. I’m not even sure I really want to be, but the writing is fun.

One thing held me back for a long time. Marketing. I am a fairly solitary person with a group of close friends rather than a lot of casual ones. I wasn’t real happy with the prospect of trying to go the traditional route, even after I had edited and rewritten to where I (and all those others) felt the book was ready to go out on its own. Self publishing didn’t look attractive at first either. I stalled. I stalled some more. I finally looked myself in the eye.  I, who fear little, was scared of the marketing. Of actually having to get out and do what was necessary to promote the book(s) and *gulp* myself. With more encouragement (can we say kick in the pants?), this time from my eldest son, I agreed to venture into this new world. Okay, I can do this, but I won’t like it.

Whoa, it really is a new world here. I have so much to learn, that alone is intimidating. I am learning an whole new language.  In addition to language studies with my youngest son and inventing them for my writing, which I really thought were quite enough, now I had to learn how to properly use words like platform, tweet and blog. (I’m sorry, but that sounds like something you feel when you wake up with a headache.) I have discovered in the short time I’ve been working on this, a new group of writerly friends.  Okay, maybe I can even learn to like this.

I am discovering several of the new generation of support groups out there specifically to help indie authors. These groups are GREAT! Two in particular I want to mention, out of several.

The first is World Literary Cafe, http://www.worldlitcafe.com

The loads of helpful tools and connections you’ll find there too numerous to mention, just go take a look.

 

The second is Indie Author Anonymous, http://indieauthoranonymous.com

This site has great reviews, a clean look and offers some wonderful promotion tools for writers. Selarial’s Song will be there soon, I hope.

Okay, I’m sold. I can do this too. I might even have some fun along the way.

Dream your stories?

Okay, I know what you’re thinking, we all do that, right? True, but when I dream stories, it’s usually in the sense of thinking about a specific thing and giving my subconscious marching orders before I go to sleep. It often works surprisingly well.

Last night was different.  I don’t often remember dreams, much less have vivid ones with real plots, totally disconnected from my usual genre and my life. Maybe my muse is telling me to get out of a rut, or maybe it was from reading a detective novel until the wee hours.  Whatever the cause, I woke up with a new story idea different from anything I have ever thought about writing. The dream had a plot, it even had a resolution.  There were three distinct characters and a number of shadowy extras running around. This could be fun!

So, a little preview: the MC, a writer, is being pursued by an internet stalker. Unlike his other victims however, she sees how he’s drawing them out and uses this against him. I can already tell the actual story will involve intellectual games as well as some action. If I follow the details in the dream, it will involve crawling through air ducts (I have no clue where that came from) and dropping a snake on his head. The snake probably relates to some recent experiences in our house.  The real snake though was only about five inches long. The one in the dream was bigger.

This promises to be entertaining to write. If all goes well, this will be the next story post.

I am off to harvest goldenrod blossoms and perhaps some more story ideas. They do lurk in the strangest places. Happy writing!

When words are unruly horses.

I have had times in the past, when the muse took over and the words just flowed with no real thought involved.  Last week took that to new heights as I was trying to wrap up the final scenes in Dream Song.

I had known for a long time what was going to happen, more or less. Still, the actual scenes eluded me. I’d edit, or revise, or work on another project. Then I made a deadline. I have to do this. No more putting it off. (Writers can be so good at that!)

Finally, I sat down and just started typing where I had left off. Before I knew it, things were taking shape I did not plan, adding details I had never imagined. It was the spookiest experience I think I ever had. The images were locked deep in my brain somewhere, but the only way they would come out and play was to appear on my screen. Some things happened in the story that I didn’t know anything about until the words appeared.

I still would like to know how a 3000 year old spaceship ended up inside a mountain. The ones who know aren’t talking to me. I suspect, the only way I will find out is to go back and write about it.

It’s odd how times like this are when we write and the words are nearly perfect as they fall. I suspect my muse didn’t want me playing around with events and took over. It feels humbling.  Magical.  Otherworldy.

I would strongly advise never trying to direct the muse in such times, but let your words run, like wild horses.  Eventually, they will tire and become companions subject to control again.

Yet, I think I will look for these times from now on and embrace them.  I will give the words free reign to take me where they will.