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Emily Cook's Blog, page 50
November 19, 2012
For some of us, it is part of life.
Welcome, to Dana Lambert, a fellow blogger and mother of four. Today she shares her thoughts with us on living with epilepsy.
---------------------
Dana LambertNovember is Epilepsy Awareness Month. I have to admit when I was approached by Emily Cook from Weak and Loved to write this guest post I was a little unsure. I've never written a guest post, much less shared about our life with Epilepsy outside of my own blog. But in the hopes of making others aware, I knew I would certainly give it a try.
Epilepsy has been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. My Great-Grandfather, Grandfather, Mother and I all have had it and now both of my daughters, Emmalee and Laycie, share this disorder. For us, it is familial, meaning it has traveled directly through generation after generation, never skipping. More than likely at least one of each of my daughter's children will have Epilepsy, too.
I know both sides of life with Epilepsy – the side of the patient and the side of the caretaker. I, personally, cannot remember much about my seizures but I do remember many trips to the Medical University of SC (MUSC) for check-ups, EEG's, blood tests and more. I never expected to be going through the same things with my own daughters.
Emmalee 3 months oldBaby’s first seizure
Emmalee, my oldest daughter, was 3 months old when she had her first seizure. I was assured by our local medical staff that it was simply a Febrile seizure, though she hadn't been sick beforehand, nor was she running a fever. She simply had a seizure for no apparent reason. A few days later she had another one. It was then that the doctors decided perhaps she should have an EEG and see a specialist.
There was no Pediatric Epilepsy Specialist in our area at that time. The local neurologist didn't work with infants as young as she was. The hospital was ill-equipped to give an EEG to an infant. Finally, I insisted our doctor refer her to MUSC where I had been treated myself for my Epilepsy. Her first appointment was set for a month later but was quickly rescheduled as soon as her medical information was faxed over and reviewed.
Emmalee was 3 ½ months old when we first saw a neurologist. She was on medication for her seizures for 4 years. This year, at age 9, Emmalee was tested with her last EEG showing results of having officially outgrown her Epilepsy, no longer requiring treatment.
Emmalee today
Laycee, 4 months, at the hospitalNot her, too!
I never thought I'd be going through the battle with Epilepsy twice as a parent. Laycie is my baby girl and she began having seizures at 4 months. Her seizures also began out of the blue, for no apparent reason. Thankfully, with her, we were better prepared and more experienced. I knew we weren't dealing with Febrile seizures – this was definitely Epilepsy.
Laycie was originally tested at Greenville Children's Hospital, near where we were living at the time. It was immediately assumed by medical staff there that she had been abused and she was tested in every possible way to be sure I hadn't done something to cause her seizures. I wasn't allowed to hold her, barely allowed to touch her and I was watched like I was a criminal while I stood at her side in tears.
Laycie had an EEG, EKG, MRI, Cat Scan, X-rays and more done – if there was a test, she went through it. As results came back showing no signs of trauma or abuse, staff attitudes changed from condemning to concerned. Eventually the staff had to admit that I was right and she had Epilepsy. She was placed onto medication and 3 days after coming to the hospital she was sent home.
I was happy to have my sweet baby back to normal. Her medicine was controlling the seizures. Two weeks passed and suddenly her medicine abruptly stopped working. There was no warning signs that it was coming. She just began seizing and this time she didn't stop.
Setback
Between the hours of 6:45am and 7:30pm, at 4 ½ months old, my sweet Laycie had 9 Grand Mal seizures and multiple Petit Mal seizures. I was terrified and I thought surely my baby would die. I cannot recall a time when I prayed so hard in my life as I did that day. Nothing the doctors did would stop the seizures. When she seized, she would stop breathing. I just knew the end was near.
Finally, that night the medication kicked in and the seizures became controlled. Laycie was so lethargic that she slept for days afterward. She was not herself for quite some time.
Laycie is 4 now. She is amazingly smart. Her seizures are controlled. Her EEG shows spikes mostly at night. This year she was diagnosed with an official type of Epilepsy – Rolandic Epilepsy with BECTS. She is the first of our family to have an actual specific diagnoses.
Laycie now, with little brother JacksonFor us, Epilepsy is a part of life. It is a part of who we are. We have never experienced life without Epilepsy. I tend to say we are blessed, simply because I know we could have a much worse disorder to deal with. I can deal with this disorder easily most days because it's something I know well. It's a part of me and of my girls.
I advocate for Epilepsy. I spread the word for Epilepsy Awareness, to make life easier for my daughters and others like them. I share what I know with other Mothers and have been blessed in my friendships because of my connection with Epilepsy.
You can do the same. You can start by learning more about Epilepsy. You can share links about this disorder to help break the stigma that surrounds it. You can simply talk about Epilepsy to others you know. Spreading the word is simple, you just have to take the steps to do so.
To learn more about Epilepsy visit the Epilepsy Foundation online at www.epilepsyfoundation.org. Remember that Spreading Epilepsy Awareness starts with you!
The four Lambert childrenVisit Dana's Blog: www.luvnlambertlife.com
Please say a prayer today for the Lambert family, and for all who fight with epilepsy.
Please also pray for Halie Brumley, a little girl from our church who is having epilepsy-related surgery today.
To Learn More about Epilepsy
What is Epilepsy Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC)
Greenville Children's HospitalEpilepsy Center at Cleveland Clinic
Have you read Aggie's story?
Weak and Loved: A Mother- Daughter Love story
Available on Amazon.com
---------------------
Dana LambertNovember is Epilepsy Awareness Month. I have to admit when I was approached by Emily Cook from Weak and Loved to write this guest post I was a little unsure. I've never written a guest post, much less shared about our life with Epilepsy outside of my own blog. But in the hopes of making others aware, I knew I would certainly give it a try.Epilepsy has been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. My Great-Grandfather, Grandfather, Mother and I all have had it and now both of my daughters, Emmalee and Laycie, share this disorder. For us, it is familial, meaning it has traveled directly through generation after generation, never skipping. More than likely at least one of each of my daughter's children will have Epilepsy, too.
I know both sides of life with Epilepsy – the side of the patient and the side of the caretaker. I, personally, cannot remember much about my seizures but I do remember many trips to the Medical University of SC (MUSC) for check-ups, EEG's, blood tests and more. I never expected to be going through the same things with my own daughters.
Emmalee 3 months oldBaby’s first seizureEmmalee, my oldest daughter, was 3 months old when she had her first seizure. I was assured by our local medical staff that it was simply a Febrile seizure, though she hadn't been sick beforehand, nor was she running a fever. She simply had a seizure for no apparent reason. A few days later she had another one. It was then that the doctors decided perhaps she should have an EEG and see a specialist.
There was no Pediatric Epilepsy Specialist in our area at that time. The local neurologist didn't work with infants as young as she was. The hospital was ill-equipped to give an EEG to an infant. Finally, I insisted our doctor refer her to MUSC where I had been treated myself for my Epilepsy. Her first appointment was set for a month later but was quickly rescheduled as soon as her medical information was faxed over and reviewed.
Emmalee was 3 ½ months old when we first saw a neurologist. She was on medication for her seizures for 4 years. This year, at age 9, Emmalee was tested with her last EEG showing results of having officially outgrown her Epilepsy, no longer requiring treatment.
Emmalee today
Laycee, 4 months, at the hospitalNot her, too!I never thought I'd be going through the battle with Epilepsy twice as a parent. Laycie is my baby girl and she began having seizures at 4 months. Her seizures also began out of the blue, for no apparent reason. Thankfully, with her, we were better prepared and more experienced. I knew we weren't dealing with Febrile seizures – this was definitely Epilepsy.
Laycie was originally tested at Greenville Children's Hospital, near where we were living at the time. It was immediately assumed by medical staff there that she had been abused and she was tested in every possible way to be sure I hadn't done something to cause her seizures. I wasn't allowed to hold her, barely allowed to touch her and I was watched like I was a criminal while I stood at her side in tears.
Laycie had an EEG, EKG, MRI, Cat Scan, X-rays and more done – if there was a test, she went through it. As results came back showing no signs of trauma or abuse, staff attitudes changed from condemning to concerned. Eventually the staff had to admit that I was right and she had Epilepsy. She was placed onto medication and 3 days after coming to the hospital she was sent home.
I was happy to have my sweet baby back to normal. Her medicine was controlling the seizures. Two weeks passed and suddenly her medicine abruptly stopped working. There was no warning signs that it was coming. She just began seizing and this time she didn't stop.
Setback
Between the hours of 6:45am and 7:30pm, at 4 ½ months old, my sweet Laycie had 9 Grand Mal seizures and multiple Petit Mal seizures. I was terrified and I thought surely my baby would die. I cannot recall a time when I prayed so hard in my life as I did that day. Nothing the doctors did would stop the seizures. When she seized, she would stop breathing. I just knew the end was near.
Finally, that night the medication kicked in and the seizures became controlled. Laycie was so lethargic that she slept for days afterward. She was not herself for quite some time.
Laycie is 4 now. She is amazingly smart. Her seizures are controlled. Her EEG shows spikes mostly at night. This year she was diagnosed with an official type of Epilepsy – Rolandic Epilepsy with BECTS. She is the first of our family to have an actual specific diagnoses.
Laycie now, with little brother JacksonFor us, Epilepsy is a part of life. It is a part of who we are. We have never experienced life without Epilepsy. I tend to say we are blessed, simply because I know we could have a much worse disorder to deal with. I can deal with this disorder easily most days because it's something I know well. It's a part of me and of my girls.I advocate for Epilepsy. I spread the word for Epilepsy Awareness, to make life easier for my daughters and others like them. I share what I know with other Mothers and have been blessed in my friendships because of my connection with Epilepsy.
You can do the same. You can start by learning more about Epilepsy. You can share links about this disorder to help break the stigma that surrounds it. You can simply talk about Epilepsy to others you know. Spreading the word is simple, you just have to take the steps to do so.
To learn more about Epilepsy visit the Epilepsy Foundation online at www.epilepsyfoundation.org. Remember that Spreading Epilepsy Awareness starts with you!
The four Lambert childrenVisit Dana's Blog: www.luvnlambertlife.com Please say a prayer today for the Lambert family, and for all who fight with epilepsy.
Please also pray for Halie Brumley, a little girl from our church who is having epilepsy-related surgery today.
To Learn More about Epilepsy
What is Epilepsy Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC)
Greenville Children's HospitalEpilepsy Center at Cleveland Clinic
Have you read Aggie's story?
Weak and Loved: A Mother- Daughter Love story
Available on Amazon.com
November 15, 2012
Law, Gospel, Cleaning Rage, series continued.
This is part 3 in the series. If you missed it, read part 1, and part 2.
--------------------------------------------
I slammed the basement door for effect.
“Children, meet me in the living room. We need to have a talk.” I spoke in a firm voice.
I met them there with eyes unsmiling, and papers in my hand.
“What’s wrong mommy?”
“I just went downstairs, children. Do you know what I found there?”
The younger ones shook their heads.
The older children sat silent, with guilty eyes.
“It was A MESS.” I said. “I could not beLIEVE what a mess it was downstairs.”“We’re sorry, mom,” said one little girl in a small voice. She stood up, read to begin the huge job of cleaning up.
“Hold on a minute,” I said. “You are not dismissed. We need to talk about this.”
They sat, avoiding eye contact, half listening to my lecture. They have heard it before. They know that big messes can push mom over the edge, and then she starts talking about “ungratefulness” and “stewardship” “materialism” and “how much junk we have.”
But this time, I pulled out the list. Their eyes got wide.
I listed, item by item line by line, my case against them. I had printed out the list, and it took up eight pages (with large font of course.)
I read, and read
and read,
and read.
Then finally, I stopped.
Silence.
“What do you think should be done about this, children?”
“You should throw all the stuff away,” said one, knowing my tendency for garbage bag grabbing.
“No! We should have to clean it up!” said another.
“But it’s SO much! We’ll never get it done!” said the youngest.
I nodded. “It is a huge job, and it is going to take you a very long time. Let’s do it this way. Each of you can take two pages of this list, and you are responsible for cleaning up those things.”
What could they say? They took their pages and slowly walked towards the basement stairs.
“But, I thought we were going to watch a movie tonight?” said one in a small voice.
“So did I,” I said sadly, “but it looks like you will be working instead.”
They moped down the hallway with their lists, and I followed.
Sad feet tromped down the stairs.
Then, the oldest stopped.
“Mommy?! It’s done already!” she said.
They all stopped on the stairs and looked in amazement on the clean basement.
Not a thing was out of place, and the clean smell of bleach filled the air.
“Did you clean up our mess for us mommy?” They couldn't believe it.
I smiled, but I squirmed, and I tried to move out of the spotlight, not wanting to build my children’s hopes on my own awesomeness, but His.
“Yes, children, I cleaned up your mess for you. Do you know why I did that?”
“Mom, it’s kind of like Jesus,” said the big one with the big heart, and I smiled because she understood.
“Exactly,” I said. “Did you know that Jesus cleans up MY messes too? Mom sometimes has a heart messy with sin, and it’s so messy I can’t fix it myself. But Jesus forgives me cleans me up, and then fills me with His love.”
I told them about my own bad attitude as I was cleaning, and I told them that I have a big long list of sins, too.
And then, again, we spoke of the cross and gospel. And we recalled together the shocking grace of God that gives us His righteousness when we only deserve the consequences of our sin.
We hugged on the stairs, and they joyfully crumbled up the lists, the Law, the charges against them, and threw it all in the trash.
And we breathed grace and hugged grace and smiled grace and watched a movie under blankets of grace.
Because of Jesus.
It is good to be a child.
--------------------------------
Wait, did I just teach my children that they get to shirk all responsibilities,
and let mommy take care of their messes forever,
all because of Jesus???
What do you think of this object lesson?
Series continues next week.....
--------------------------------------------
I slammed the basement door for effect.“Children, meet me in the living room. We need to have a talk.” I spoke in a firm voice.
I met them there with eyes unsmiling, and papers in my hand.
“What’s wrong mommy?”
“I just went downstairs, children. Do you know what I found there?”
The younger ones shook their heads.
The older children sat silent, with guilty eyes.
“It was A MESS.” I said. “I could not beLIEVE what a mess it was downstairs.”“We’re sorry, mom,” said one little girl in a small voice. She stood up, read to begin the huge job of cleaning up.
“Hold on a minute,” I said. “You are not dismissed. We need to talk about this.”
They sat, avoiding eye contact, half listening to my lecture. They have heard it before. They know that big messes can push mom over the edge, and then she starts talking about “ungratefulness” and “stewardship” “materialism” and “how much junk we have.”
But this time, I pulled out the list. Their eyes got wide.
I listed, item by item line by line, my case against them. I had printed out the list, and it took up eight pages (with large font of course.)
I read, and read
and read,
and read.
Then finally, I stopped.
Silence.
“What do you think should be done about this, children?”
“You should throw all the stuff away,” said one, knowing my tendency for garbage bag grabbing.
“No! We should have to clean it up!” said another.
“But it’s SO much! We’ll never get it done!” said the youngest.
I nodded. “It is a huge job, and it is going to take you a very long time. Let’s do it this way. Each of you can take two pages of this list, and you are responsible for cleaning up those things.”
What could they say? They took their pages and slowly walked towards the basement stairs.
“But, I thought we were going to watch a movie tonight?” said one in a small voice.
“So did I,” I said sadly, “but it looks like you will be working instead.”
They moped down the hallway with their lists, and I followed.
Sad feet tromped down the stairs.
Then, the oldest stopped.
“Mommy?! It’s done already!” she said.
They all stopped on the stairs and looked in amazement on the clean basement.
Not a thing was out of place, and the clean smell of bleach filled the air.
“Did you clean up our mess for us mommy?” They couldn't believe it.
I smiled, but I squirmed, and I tried to move out of the spotlight, not wanting to build my children’s hopes on my own awesomeness, but His.
“Yes, children, I cleaned up your mess for you. Do you know why I did that?”
“Mom, it’s kind of like Jesus,” said the big one with the big heart, and I smiled because she understood.
“Exactly,” I said. “Did you know that Jesus cleans up MY messes too? Mom sometimes has a heart messy with sin, and it’s so messy I can’t fix it myself. But Jesus forgives me cleans me up, and then fills me with His love.”
I told them about my own bad attitude as I was cleaning, and I told them that I have a big long list of sins, too.
And then, again, we spoke of the cross and gospel. And we recalled together the shocking grace of God that gives us His righteousness when we only deserve the consequences of our sin.
We hugged on the stairs, and they joyfully crumbled up the lists, the Law, the charges against them, and threw it all in the trash.
And we breathed grace and hugged grace and smiled grace and watched a movie under blankets of grace.
Because of Jesus.
It is good to be a child.
--------------------------------
Wait, did I just teach my children that they get to shirk all responsibilities,
and let mommy take care of their messes forever,
all because of Jesus???
What do you think of this object lesson?
Series continues next week.....
November 14, 2012
Cleaning Rage, Garbage Bags, Law & Gospel Part 2
This is part 2 in the series. If you missed it, read part 1 here.
------------------
As I angry cleaned, I fought with the children in my head.
And I fought with myself.
Come on, Emily, what are you really so annoyed about?
How much junk we have and how they treat it! They have NO idea how blessed we are, or how many other kids in this world would love to have even ¼ of what they have.
How much junk you have- your abundance? That’s what’s got you angry?
Well, not the abundance but the way they TREAT it. They don’t take care of anything, they break stuff, hide stuff, ruin stuff just for fun. For FUN!
Oh I see. They have not learned gratitude, or stewardship.
Right, and they have NO idea.
These lessons--Gratitude and stewardship-- are harder to learn, and harder to teach, when living in abundance. Kids who live in want learn these things more quickly. Your kids want for nothing.
Right, nothing all. And they don’t appreciate what they have.
So who will teach them? Whose job is this, Emily?
I pushed the broom around angrily.
I threw away another junky little toy just because I didn't want to walk across the basement and put it where it belongs.
As I cleaned and complained, the law laid down heavily on my back.
I can’t teach them.
I don’t know what we have either!
I’m just as whiney as they are!
I whine about this, this having TOO MUCH, because it gets in my way!
I get mad when managing it takes time and effort, when it inconveniences me.
I get mad that they have not learned to be grateful, and then I get even more mad when I remember that I am the one whose job it is to teach them!
I want to throw it all away. Why? Because it inconveniences me. It is in my way. THEY are in my way.
I have better things to do than to teach them how to live in abundance. If I could just simplify our stuff, I could simplify my life, and my job, and I could finally have time to breathe again. Time for ME.
And the mirror of the law again revealed my lack of love. My infraction list was long, longer than theirs, and yet...
There I stood in a basement, now clean. I stood surrounded by God’s provision, poured out on ungrateful hearts, theirs, mine. The toys, the hand-me-downs, the abundance of material blessings. God didn't burn it all up to teach our ungrateful hearts a lesson. Instead, He gave, grace upon grace, stuff upon stuff.
And as for this mothers sin-list, He gave grace upon grace for that too. He gave me Jesus. My sins again I hid in His wounds, the only place they can go and be swallowed up forever. And his bloody grace washed the anger, the sin, and the guilt off of me.
Under the relief of His grace I found air to breathe again, and I exhaled gratitude.
My God is gentle with sinners. He is kind, and He is good.
I must tell the children about this, I thought.
And so, the angry cleaning of this day, this time, did not end with a mere lecture, but with a passing on of grace.
Come back to hear how I shared both law and gospel with my children in the basement.
I’m curious to know if you think this strategy was a crazy one.
-------------------Do you ever find yourself angry about the blessings in your life because they inconvenience you?
------------------
As I angry cleaned, I fought with the children in my head.
And I fought with myself.
Come on, Emily, what are you really so annoyed about?
How much junk we have and how they treat it! They have NO idea how blessed we are, or how many other kids in this world would love to have even ¼ of what they have.
How much junk you have- your abundance? That’s what’s got you angry?
Well, not the abundance but the way they TREAT it. They don’t take care of anything, they break stuff, hide stuff, ruin stuff just for fun. For FUN!
Oh I see. They have not learned gratitude, or stewardship.
Right, and they have NO idea.
These lessons--Gratitude and stewardship-- are harder to learn, and harder to teach, when living in abundance. Kids who live in want learn these things more quickly. Your kids want for nothing.
Right, nothing all. And they don’t appreciate what they have.
So who will teach them? Whose job is this, Emily?
I pushed the broom around angrily.
I threw away another junky little toy just because I didn't want to walk across the basement and put it where it belongs.
As I cleaned and complained, the law laid down heavily on my back.
I can’t teach them.
I don’t know what we have either!
I’m just as whiney as they are!
I whine about this, this having TOO MUCH, because it gets in my way!
I get mad when managing it takes time and effort, when it inconveniences me.I get mad that they have not learned to be grateful, and then I get even more mad when I remember that I am the one whose job it is to teach them!
I want to throw it all away. Why? Because it inconveniences me. It is in my way. THEY are in my way.
I have better things to do than to teach them how to live in abundance. If I could just simplify our stuff, I could simplify my life, and my job, and I could finally have time to breathe again. Time for ME.
And the mirror of the law again revealed my lack of love. My infraction list was long, longer than theirs, and yet...
There I stood in a basement, now clean. I stood surrounded by God’s provision, poured out on ungrateful hearts, theirs, mine. The toys, the hand-me-downs, the abundance of material blessings. God didn't burn it all up to teach our ungrateful hearts a lesson. Instead, He gave, grace upon grace, stuff upon stuff.
And as for this mothers sin-list, He gave grace upon grace for that too. He gave me Jesus. My sins again I hid in His wounds, the only place they can go and be swallowed up forever. And his bloody grace washed the anger, the sin, and the guilt off of me.
Under the relief of His grace I found air to breathe again, and I exhaled gratitude.
My God is gentle with sinners. He is kind, and He is good.
I must tell the children about this, I thought.
And so, the angry cleaning of this day, this time, did not end with a mere lecture, but with a passing on of grace.
Come back to hear how I shared both law and gospel with my children in the basement.
I’m curious to know if you think this strategy was a crazy one.
-------------------Do you ever find yourself angry about the blessings in your life because they inconvenience you?
November 12, 2012
Cleaning Rage, Garbage Bags, Law, and Gospel (Part 1)
Upstairs was somewhat tidy.
I’d been working to the point of sweat, and I was almost done. This was good, because I was tired.
I felt accomplished, but utterly exhausted.Then, I went downstairs.
I saw what I saw, and instantly, my face turned ugly and green, and I became a gift-hating small-hearted Grinch.
But it was not just Christmas I suddenly hated. It was Easter and Valentine’s Day and Birthdays and ANY hallmark-created occasion for a person to give stuff to my children.
I grabbed a trash bag and considered cancelling all gift-giving holidays for the rest of my children’s lives.
I hated the gift bags and the small pieces and the disorder.
I slammed the Lincoln logs into the box, and I threw the Little People into another. I pitched the matchbox car with a missing wheel, and I seethed at too many toys, toys ruined and unappreciated and in my way.
At least once a year I become this person. I am driven to the edge by the clutter and the mess and the sheer amount of STUFF in this house. I seriously consider throwing EVERY thing away.
They can play with stick and rocks. I've had it.
I fight clutter constantly. I encourage my children to give. We donate our extra things often, and still, still our house bursts with mess and stuff.
“ You've got to be KIDDING ME!” I yelled to nobody, as I discovered a pile of cotton fluff, ripped from the insides of the couch and used for baby bedding.
I cleaned.
No, I angry-cleaned.
And in my head I made a list.
I listed the infractions the misdeeds, the evidence of ungrateful selfishness, the inconveniences to their dear mother, the irresponsible thoughtless behavior.
So here’s the thing.
My list?
It’s not wrong.
This is a problem, and they are ungrateful, and they need a good lecture about this. They need to learn to work and appreciate and care for their things.
I often end days like this with a firm lecture and a huffy attitude and a few bags for goodwill in the van. Then I sleep it off, and the next day when they come home from school with another plastic spider, I just add it to our collection.
But this time, my angry cleaning did not end with a mommy-rant.
This time, it turned into a lesson on Law and Gospel, first for me, then for them.
Come back later this week to find out what in the world I am talking about.
-------
Do you ever run around your house with a trash bag and a crazed look in your eyes?
How do you fight clutter in your home?
What happened next?
Read Part 2: Abundance is annoying
Read Part 3: The SIN List
I’d been working to the point of sweat, and I was almost done. This was good, because I was tired.
I felt accomplished, but utterly exhausted.Then, I went downstairs.
I saw what I saw, and instantly, my face turned ugly and green, and I became a gift-hating small-hearted Grinch.
But it was not just Christmas I suddenly hated. It was Easter and Valentine’s Day and Birthdays and ANY hallmark-created occasion for a person to give stuff to my children.
I grabbed a trash bag and considered cancelling all gift-giving holidays for the rest of my children’s lives.
I hated the gift bags and the small pieces and the disorder.
I slammed the Lincoln logs into the box, and I threw the Little People into another. I pitched the matchbox car with a missing wheel, and I seethed at too many toys, toys ruined and unappreciated and in my way.
At least once a year I become this person. I am driven to the edge by the clutter and the mess and the sheer amount of STUFF in this house. I seriously consider throwing EVERY thing away.
They can play with stick and rocks. I've had it.
I fight clutter constantly. I encourage my children to give. We donate our extra things often, and still, still our house bursts with mess and stuff.
“ You've got to be KIDDING ME!” I yelled to nobody, as I discovered a pile of cotton fluff, ripped from the insides of the couch and used for baby bedding.
I cleaned.
No, I angry-cleaned.
And in my head I made a list.
I listed the infractions the misdeeds, the evidence of ungrateful selfishness, the inconveniences to their dear mother, the irresponsible thoughtless behavior.
So here’s the thing.
My list?
It’s not wrong.
This is a problem, and they are ungrateful, and they need a good lecture about this. They need to learn to work and appreciate and care for their things.
I often end days like this with a firm lecture and a huffy attitude and a few bags for goodwill in the van. Then I sleep it off, and the next day when they come home from school with another plastic spider, I just add it to our collection.
But this time, my angry cleaning did not end with a mommy-rant.
This time, it turned into a lesson on Law and Gospel, first for me, then for them.
Come back later this week to find out what in the world I am talking about.
-------
Do you ever run around your house with a trash bag and a crazed look in your eyes?
How do you fight clutter in your home?
What happened next?
Read Part 2: Abundance is annoying
Read Part 3: The SIN List
November 10, 2012
Faith is not the most important thing.
Does your faith help you through hard times?
Are you eager to tell others about your faith?
Let me challenge you with this:
Faith is not the most important thing.
Faith can, in fact, be misplaced.
It can be nothing other than empty optimism,
or a neat mental trick.
How do we know?
We know by the object of the faith, or the content.
Take 60 seconds, and hear this:
What is the content of faith?
Are you eager to tell others about your faith?
Let me challenge you with this:
Faith is not the most important thing.
Faith can, in fact, be misplaced.
It can be nothing other than empty optimism,
or a neat mental trick.
How do we know?
We know by the object of the faith, or the content.
Take 60 seconds, and hear this:
What is the content of faith?
November 9, 2012
Pain Redeemed
Get it hereHear Natasha, as she wrestles with her pain:Isn't this the story of life? I want to be joyful but I’m so full of sadness and I can’t escape it. I want to be whole but I feel so empty. I want to be strong but I wallow in weakness. I want to be beautiful, Oh, God, how I want to be beautiful, but I’m ugly with sin and aching pain.
So there you have it. The ugly, nasty me, angry at the perfect, loving you.Pain Redeemed, p. 6
In her book, Natasha gives us a glimpse into the life of one struggling with infertility and depression. She is achingly honest as she recounts her battles with her body and with God.
As she recounts her journey, she gives us a glimpse into her soul- into longing, and need, and selfishness, and doubt, and depression. And yet, it was right in those places of pain where God met her, again and again.
She offers no simple cure for the trials of this life, whatever they are. But she points to God who is faithful, to Christ who has overcome by His grace.
She clings to Him, even as the battle still rages.
And He is faithful.
Buy Pain Redeemed here.
November 8, 2012
Refuse to get up. Remain.
Hear this invitation from Jesus, to his dear children,to you,to me:
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. John 15:9
To remain in him means to refuse to get up from his lap.
When it seems like the situation calls for me to stand up and take charge, Jesus gives me permission to remain still, if only on the inside, to trust deeply and fully that he will be strong on my behalf.
Even when it seems impossible. Even when it’s counter intuitive Even if it means I will look weak. (Grace for the Good Girl p. 147)
Today, you have permission to climb up in the Father’s lap, and to stay there.Think about the most important things, the true things, the Solid things.Rest in Him.
Father welcomes all His children to His family through His Son,Father giving His salvation, life forever has been won.(LSB 605)
This is a post in the book-club series Grace for the Good Girl
Read more
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. John 15:9
To remain in him means to refuse to get up from his lap.
When it seems like the situation calls for me to stand up and take charge, Jesus gives me permission to remain still, if only on the inside, to trust deeply and fully that he will be strong on my behalf.
Even when it seems impossible. Even when it’s counter intuitive Even if it means I will look weak. (Grace for the Good Girl p. 147)
Today, you have permission to climb up in the Father’s lap, and to stay there.Think about the most important things, the true things, the Solid things.Rest in Him.
Father welcomes all His children to His family through His Son,Father giving His salvation, life forever has been won.(LSB 605)
This is a post in the book-club series Grace for the Good Girl
Read more
November 6, 2012
Election Night
What are you doing tonight, as the votes roll in?
Just now, I was inspired by this post, and I've decided to make this a family event.
This evening is an important, historic event.
Why not spend it close to family, eating in the living room, and learning about our country?
If you need some inspiration, some ideas for keeping little hands busy this evening, start here:
Tracking electoral votes activity
Election Day Coloring Pages
DakotaPam's Election Day Tips
Why is daddy leaving? 2004
Just now, I was inspired by this post, and I've decided to make this a family event.
This evening is an important, historic event.
Why not spend it close to family, eating in the living room, and learning about our country?
If you need some inspiration, some ideas for keeping little hands busy this evening, start here:
Tracking electoral votes activity
Election Day Coloring Pages
DakotaPam's Election Day Tips
Why is daddy leaving? 2004
Election Day Prayer
Almighty God, you have given us this good land as our heritage. Make us always remember your generosity and constantly do your will.
Bless our land with honest industry, truthful education, and an honorable way of life. Save us from violence, discord and confusion; from pride and and arrogance, and from every evil course of action. Make us who came from many nations with many different languages a united people. Defend our liberties and give those whom we have entrusted with the authority of government the spirit of wisdom, that there might be justice and peace in our land.
When times are prosperous, let our hearts be thankful; and, in troubled times, do not let our trust in you fail. We ask all this through Jesus Christ our Lord.
(LSB p 313)
Earth, hear your Maker’s voice;Your great Redeemer own;Believe, obey, rejoice, And worship him alone.Cast down your pride,Your sin deplore, And bow beforeThe Crucified.
And when in power he comes,Oh, may our native landFrom all its rending tombsSend forth a glorious band,A countless throng,With joy to singTo heaven’s high kingSalvation’s song!
Hymn # 500 Lutheran WorshipBefore you Lord We Bow
Bless our land with honest industry, truthful education, and an honorable way of life. Save us from violence, discord and confusion; from pride and and arrogance, and from every evil course of action. Make us who came from many nations with many different languages a united people. Defend our liberties and give those whom we have entrusted with the authority of government the spirit of wisdom, that there might be justice and peace in our land.
When times are prosperous, let our hearts be thankful; and, in troubled times, do not let our trust in you fail. We ask all this through Jesus Christ our Lord.
(LSB p 313)
Earth, hear your Maker’s voice;Your great Redeemer own;Believe, obey, rejoice, And worship him alone.Cast down your pride,Your sin deplore, And bow beforeThe Crucified.
And when in power he comes,Oh, may our native landFrom all its rending tombsSend forth a glorious band,A countless throng,With joy to singTo heaven’s high kingSalvation’s song!
Hymn # 500 Lutheran WorshipBefore you Lord We Bow
November 5, 2012
Forget the beach- go to Michigan!
Mackinaw City, MIMy cheeks are red and wind-whipped, and my hair is wet and scraggly.The children are huddled in a small, dark room, watching a movie under blankets, and it is quiet.
It is only 4pm.
We've been here for only two hours and we hope to stay here a week. As daddy sleeps and the kids rest, I shake my head and laugh, wondering if the entire vacation is going to be as ridiculous as the first hour.
We went for a walk to explore our campground. October in Northern MI. The grounds were quiet. The colors were gorgeous. The wind was cold.
I made the kids wear hats, mittens, and winter coats for our walk. They climbed a big rock and then we found a playground, and one by one they handed me their mittens and hats, not needing them as they had been warmed by play. Perhaps they didn't need to dress so warm.
We turned down one path, then another. “Kids, look at the wind, the way it whips the water back into the air,” daddy said. And we looked. And we smiled. And we leisurely walked along.
The wind whipped, faster now, and suddenly the Mackinaw bridge was nearly invisible. He and I realized it at the same moment. We need to move, now! Back to the cabin, back, back!
Drops fell on us, just a few, then many, then what was that, rocks? HAIL! You can’t be serious, I thought.I took Peter off my shoulders. He was screamin’ mad. I put up his big winter hood and put his back to the wind. The hail could not harm his puffy coat. Still he screamed, angry screams giving fury back to nature.
RUN kids!(Six kids, shocked, cold, horrified, determined or angry or panicking)
I said, RUN!(more hail)
Run backwards!Eldon curled into daddy and bounced along uncomplaining.
Marcus refused to put his hat down or walk backwards. He walked, and he yelled, YELLED at the hail that smashed into his cheeks.
The other big kids pressed on.
The whole thing was just... ridiculous.
But I couldn't help it. I took this picture.
Those faces after the rain run... Those wind-burned, wet, accusing faces.
Our parents call this a vacation?
-------------------------Have you had any ridiculous vacation moments with your children? Or with your own ridiculous parents?------------------------** Despite this rough start, we had a fantastic time in Northern MI. We stayed in a cabin at Camp Mackinaw. I recommend it. But, Northern Michigan is not for wimps, not in October.
