Brian Francis's Blog, page 15

Reader Recipe: Fiesta Peach Salad with Miracle Whip Salad Dressing

Now there’s a mouthful. By the time you get the name of this dish out, the peaches will have fruit flies.

Today’s reader submission comes from Jennifer, who sent in this vintage caker recipe. She said it reminded her of sea urchins with the slivered almonds sticking out of the sides of the peaches.

That may be what she thought, but when I made it, all I saw were bloody demon eyes on a green monster face. Seriously. Just look at that thing! I’m going to send the photo to TLC and suggest a new show: "My Salad Was Possessed By the Devil." They can schedule it between "Honey Boo Boo" and the show with the cheapskates who re-use toilet paper. (And to think TLC used to stand for The Learning Channel.)

Demon eyes aside, this salad tasted pretty good. The almonds provided a nice crunch. And who can resist canned peaches? Just make sure you sprinkle it with holy water and repeat "The power of Christ compells you!" before digging in.

Thanks, Jennifer! Check out her blog. She describes herself as a Canadian vegetarian foodie but she lives in Monaco. (Isn't Monaco in Alberta?)

Eye-catching and tasty! Prepare raspberry-flavored gelatin as package directs. When firm, break up with fork. Stick shredded, toasted almonds into the edges of plump, sun-gold canned cling peach halves from California. Fill halves with gelatin. Serve on greens with Miracle Whip Salad Dressing.


Source: Caker Jennifer via a magazine clipping.

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Reader Recipe: Ziploc Bag Omelettes

It's week three of Caker Cooking Reader Month!

Every now and then, I stumble upon a caker recipe that should come with a hazard sticker. When Mattel 1974 – she of Mexican Hat fame – sent me this recipe involving Ziploc bags, I was all like "Danger Will Robinson!" In a nutshell, you put eggs and chopped things into a Ziploc freezer bag, boil the bags and presto – individual omelettes!

But the more I thought about it, the more the recipe seemed, well, toxic. Even by my standards. Was it safe to boil freezer bags? Mattel 1974 said she’d never been brave enough to try it. That's when I visited the worldwide web for the answer. I found it on the Ziploc site which basically said, “Don't boil freezer bags, you caker fool.”

Fellow cakers, I know the idea of making omelettes without dirtying a frypan or – god forbid – having to flip the damn things might sound appealing, but please refrain. Instead, I've come up with a better solution – just boil your eggs in paper bags.

Make sure you read the recipe instructions below. The lady who submitted this recipe was working it HARD!

Thanks, Mattel 1974! I will forever wonder what these omelettes would've tasted like.

2 eggs, large or extra large
Cheese, ham, chopped onion, green pepper, red pepper, tomato, hash browns, salsa, whatever your prefer

This works great for guests. Have guests write their name on a quart size Ziploc freezer bag with permanent marker pen. (See note 1)

Crack 2 eggs into a Ziploc bag, shake bag to combine eggs. Put out a variety of ingredients as mentioned above. Each guests adds ingredients of their choice to their bag and shakes it. Make sure to get all the air out of the bag, then zip it shut.

Have ready a large pot of boiling water, place bags in rolling, boiling water for exactly 13 minutes. You can usually cook 6-8 omelets in one pot. For more have another pot ready. Open the bag and the omelet will roll out easily.

BE PREPARED FOR EVERYONE TO BE AMAZED. (See note 2)

Nice to serve with fresh fruit and coffee cake. Everyone gets involved in the process and it is a great conversation piece.

Imagine having these ready the night before, then in the morning putting in the bag and boiling for 13 minutes and you have a nice breakfast.

THIS REALLY WORKS. (See note 3)

Note 1: For those who like a few extra chemicals.
Note 2: SHE MEANS IT, FOLKS. PREPARE.
Note 3: IT'S NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE.

Source: Mattel 1974 via the Newdale Raven’s Glen W.I., Manitoba


Click on the image for full caps effect.

Reader Recipe: Rainbow Squares

Is there anything more stressful than a work potluck? There you are, looking at a table of food made by people you don't really know. How clean is the accounting guy's kitchen? Does the receptionist let her cat walk on the counter? What if the IT guy licked the spoon or, even worse, made the food naked?

Caker Cooking reader Adam recently had a “Diversity Day” work potluck. Since he’s gay and a caker (otherwise known as a “gayker"), he brought Rainbow Squares. Can you imagine the gasps when he served this mutli-layered work of art? Paging the HR department! Someone deserves a raise.

Adam’s recipe calls for an envelope of gelatin added to each JELL-O package. That means there are EIGHT envelopes of gelatin in this dish. (Or approximately 84 hooves.) Folks, this JELL-O was so stiff, I could've fired a bullet into it and it wouldn’t have come out the other side.

Before anyone calls me out, yes, I screwed up the rainbow order. Red should be on top. I’m a bad gayker.

Thanks, Adam! You make us proud!

6 boxes JELL-O (rainbow order from the top: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple)
8 envelopes unflavoured gelatin
1 can sweetened condensed milk

Mix purple JELL-O with one envelope gelatin. Add 1 cup boiling water and stir until dissolved. Pour into 9x13” glass pan sprayed with PAM. Refrigerate for 30 minutes. Dissolve 2 envelopes gelatin in ¼ cup cold water. Add ¾ boiling water and stir until dissolved. In another bowl mix condensed milk and 1 cup boiling water. Combine milk and gelatin mixture. Pour ½ cup milk mixture over the bottom layer of JELL-O. Pour slowly over a spoon to stop the mixture from making dents in JELL-O. Repeat using one layer JELL-O, waiting 30 minutes, then one layer milk mixture, waiting 20 minutes, ending with Jell-O (red). If the milk mixture starts to set, put in the microwave for 60 seconds.

Source: Gayker Adam

P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day!





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Reader Recipe: Catherwood Muffins

We’re into the second week of Reader Recipe Month!

Today’s caker recipe comes from Kate, who got this "muffin" recipe from her math teacher, Miss Catherwood. It’s since become a family favourite. Kate’s sister even used the recipe for her wedding cake! (Beats the heck out of fruitcake, IMHO.)

Now that I think about it, I learned a lot from my teachers growing up. Important things, like sleeves are a great place to store Kleenexes. And music teachers can get very emotional in the days leading up to a Christmas concert. And smoking is okay, so long as you do it in the staffroom.

Another thing I learned: just because you call something a “muffin” don’t make it no muffin. Catherwood Muffins are cupcakes, folks. These have as much nutritional value as a mango-scented Yankee candle. However, they’re dangerously delicious. (I think the pudding and sour cream have something to do with that.) I have no other choice but to dismiss class and order you make them immediately. Consider it your Home Ec homework.

Thanks, Kate! Check out Kate's book blog.

Come back Friday for the next reader recipe. I finally win at JELL-O!

1 package (18oz) devil's food cake mix
1 package (3 3/4 oz) instant chocolate pudding mix
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup warm water
4 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Place the first 6 ingredients in a bowl and beat for 4 minutes. Fold in chocolate chips. Line a muffin tin with large baking papers and fill with batter. Bake in 350 degree oven for 20 minutes. (See note.) Try to wait until they are cool enough to handle safely before enjoying the gooey, chocolatey goodness!

Note: I left mine in for 25 minutes.

Source: Caker Kate via Caker Miss Catherwood

Reader Recipe: Liberace Sandwich

It’s time for our second reader recipe of the week!

When Caker Cooking reader Catherine sent me the recipe for Liberace Sandwich, I got pretty excited. There’s nothing more glamorous than eating the same thing as a Hollywood star. (Case in point: Barbara Mandrell’s Pig Out Cake.) And when that star has the mega-wattage of Liberace, well, sit back and put on the rhinestone-crusted sunglasses, my friends.

This sandwich proves two things: 1) Liberace was a caker (which, c’mon, we all knew – anyone with hair that stiff is down with the tater tots) and 2) his talent went beyond piano playing. The man knew his way around a loaf of white bread like nobody’s business. This egg-soaked, cheese-filled, bacon-topped creation really tickled my ivories.

Catherine also sent me a recipe for something called Fluffy Muff. I’m going out on a limb here, but I doubt Liberace ever made that for dinner.

Thanks, Catherine!

Make 6 sandwiches, no butter, cut off crusts, with cheddar cheese. Place in shallow, buttered pan. Beat 4 eggs with 2 cups milk, 1/2 tsp minced onion, 1/2 tsp dry mustard. Pour over sandwiches. Let stand 10 minutes. Bake in 375 oven 30 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove and top with sliced, peeled ripe tomatoes. Cover with strips of pre-cooked bacon. Place under broiler for 2-3 minutes.

Source: Caker Catherine via Ladies Aid, Ogunquit Baptist Church, Ogunquit, Maine, 1975

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Reader Recipe: Cherry Balls

Welcome to Reader Recipe Month! I’ll be posting your caker recipes every Monday and Friday throughout February. After all, what good is cholesterol if you can’t share it between friends?

It should come as a surprise to no one when I say that cakers love their balls. Cold, hot, cheesy, so long as it’s round, we’ll pop it into our mouths. (Which explains the high number of golf ball-related caker deaths every year.) A few weeks back, I was at a wedding when I met Caker Cooking reader, Debbie, who asked if I wanted her Cherry Balls recipe. I said, “I do.”

I had my heart set on red maraschino cherries, but couldn’t find any at No Frills. They only had green ones – and all the jars were dusty. Please, caker gods, if I ever get reincarnated, don’t send me back as a green maraschino cherry. I can’t imagine a lonelier fate.

Thanks for the recipe, Debbie. Knowing your delicious balls were waiting at home got me through the dark days.

Come back Friday for a reader recipe that takes you behind the candelabra.

Maraschino cherries and graham cracker crumbs
2 cups icing sugar
3/4 cup desiccated coconut (see note)
1/2 cup butter, softened

Mix all ingredients except cherries and graham cracker crumbs. Roll around cherry, then roll in graham cracker crumbs. Refrigerate until ready to eat.

Note: Debbie says, “I use sweetened shredded.”

Source: Caker Debbie

Tomato Soup Cake vs. The Great Canadian Heinz Ketchup Cake

The Great Canadian Ketchup CakeA couple of years ago, I posted the recipe for the caker classic, Tomato Soup Cake. Well, actually, I posted two: Vera’s recipe and Gwen’s recipe, both of Melfort, Saskatchewan. I did a taste test and Vera walked away the champ.

Last year, I posted the recipe for The Great Canadian Heinz Ketchup Cake, which tasted pretty good. Some people thought it tasted better than Tomato Soup Cake. That got me thinking.

Toronto Star food editor, Corey Mintz, recently had me over for a caker dinner party. Corey’s a bit on the fancy side. (He’s the Grey Poupon to my French’s mustard.) But dang if he didn’t put on a good spread!

Tomato Soup CakeI'm talking Broccoli Casserole, Baked Frankfurters and Taco Salad Casserole. The only thing missing was an episode of Hee Haw playing in the background. He also made something fancy with Cream of Wheat. I can’t remember the name, but I’m pretty sure it started with “Le.”

For dessert, I brought a Tomato Soup Cake and a Ketchup Cake, each topped with cream cheese icing. Then I asked the guests to pick their favourite.

So which cake won?

Vera, I hope Melfort realizes they’ve got a Martha Stewartson in their midst. Tomato Soup cake was the hands-down winner. Some said it was the nuts. Some said it was the raisins. Folks, it's the soup.

Check out Corey’s caker column here.

P.S. Get ready for Reader Recipe Month starting Monday!

Caker Cooking in The Toronto Star!

Recently, I had dinner with Toronto Star food editor, Corey Mintz. He's one of those "gourmet" types. You know, cloth napkins instead of paper towels. Did I convert him to the joys of caker cooking? You be the judge.

Vegetable Casserole

The Caker Code of Conduct (CCC) is the belief system that the recipes in our cookbooks are tried-and-true; that the person submitting the recipe has made it over and over again to the delight of family and friends.

Recently, I was flipping through my cookbooks when a name jumped out: my own mother’s name. The recipe she’d submitted was Vegetable Casserole.

Immediately, something seemed off. I couldn’t remember eating this. (Neither did my sister.) Vegetables never took centre stage in our house. A quick scan of the ingredients confirmed my doubts. Fresh broccoli and cauliflower? Cook them separately? I could only wonder – was my own mother guilty of breaking the Caker Code of Conduct? I had no other choice than to make it, take it to her and try to get a confession.

“Here's some Vegetable Casserole,” I said. “Does it sound familiar?”

“No.”

“This is the cookbook it came from.”

She scanned the page. “Oh, that Broccoli Casserole looks good.”

I pointed out her name. “Vegetable Casserole is your recipe! Only I don't think you ever made it.”

She frowned and passed the cookbook back. “How am I supposed to remember? I made a lot of casseroles over the years.”

Then she proceeded to ask if the colour of my pants were popular among gay men and if I wore that much cologne to work. She also wondered aloud why my fruitcake never turns out as good as my father’s.

I put two and three together. I think there’s a CCC-breaker in the family. I'm going to need some time to process this.

1 fresh cauliflower
1 fresh broccoli
1 can mushrooms
1 can Cream of Mushroom soup
1 can Cream of Chicken soup
½ cup sour cream
½ cup mayonnaise
1 cup cheddar cheese, grated

Heat oven to 325°. Partially cook cauliflower and broccoli separately for 10 minutes. (See note.) Mix together cream soups, sour cream and mayonnaise. In buttered casserole dish, layer broccoli, cauliflower and mushrooms. Pour soup mixture over top. Sprinkle cheese on top. Cover and bake for 20-30 minutes.

Note: "Partially" cook the vegetables for 10 minutes? Maybe this is my mom’s recipe.

P.S. The main photo is a bit misleading because once you mix the layers, it looks like this. Can you blame me for wanting some colour on this blog?

P.P.S. My mom called tonight to tell me how much she loved the Vegetable Casserole I made her. Her caker ears must've been burning. Or she's feeling guilty about the fruitcake thing.





Source: St. Luke’s United Church Cookbook

February is Reader Recipe Month!

This blog ain't a one-caker show. It takes two: me and you. (Actually, it takes three: me, you and a package of Tums.)

That's why I'm christening February as Reader Recipe Month. This is your chance to send me the horrible tasty recipes you have in your collection. I'll make them, eat them, post them on the blog and then you'll become one of those "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" people.

Send your recipes to cakercooking at gmail dot com and I'll do my best to feature it in the coming weeks.

Bun appetito!

Brian