Rachelle D. Alspaugh's Blog, page 16

Teacher Appreciation Week 2022

The week turned out fun, and I really did end the week feeling incredibly appreciated. I tried to savor each day, each gift, each surprise knowing that, although I will still be teaching, my teaching career will look very different from here on out. 
Unfortunately, due to inflation, I'm assuming, not a lot of retailers or businesses jumped on the Teacher Appreciation specials like they have in the past. But a few did, so I made sure to take advantage of them. :) Whataburger offered a free breakfast item for teachers all week. I only planned on going once, but David said if he had that chance, he'd be going every day. So I decided to make that my goal, and I did! I've decided that I like the bacon, egg, and cheese taquito the best, though their honey butter chicken biscuit is pretty good, too. Thank you, Whataburger, for a quick and tasty breakfast every morning this week. 




As soon as I got to school on Monday, I saw that Fifth Avenue Nutrition (a cute little coffee shop that David and I like to ride our bikes to) came to brew us each our own specialty coffee. I must say, I can't complain when I have a caramel cheesecake latte to sip on first thing on a Monday morning. 

They served each one with a chocolate covered strawberry on top! Yum!

A student brought me a really nice decorative box with this treasure inside--a glass water bottle with my name on the side!

Another student also greeted me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.


The next day, several students brought me goodies, including a full box of chocolate covered strawberries, a cold coffee, some chocolates, and a sweet note from a sweet boy in my class. 

After my lunch duty, I came back into my empty room and found this cute little note on my computer from one of my students from last year. 

We got a goodie bag from the Sunshine committee, and inside we found some breakfast items and a coupon for a free iced tea at a really cool tea place not far from the school. 

On Thursday, it was 5 de mayo, and several of us dressed up in our Mexican attire. My coworker and I snapped a "twinsie" pic in our pink shirts. She's a beautiful friend and an absolute gem in my life--also a sister in Christ, so I treasure her friendship.

The same boy that brought me the water bottle and the chocolate covered strawberries brought me more strawberry treats to enjoy on Thursday. 
Friday morning, I stepped outside to go for a walk and noticed this one solo rose blooming. Wow. Even God sent me a flower to brighten my day. :)

But nothing prepared me for how appreciated my kids made me feel on Friday morning when they walked in the door. Gift after gift after gift handed to me. Thoughtful gifts, too--pink mugs, baskets, flowers, cups, etc. Even a pink coffee mug with my name on it. :)
Beautiful color. 
Another cold coffee to perk me up in the afternoon. :) Two more notes from last year's students. 
A delivery that came after lunch--a sweet bear made of flowers with a beautiful note from a mom I've never even met other than over the phone. A beautiful flower and poem from the same boy that brought me all the strawberry treats.
Three pink cups and a pink candle. :) My students know me well. 
This view makes me smile as I wash my dishes and look out my kitchen window. I truly feel very loved and appreciated. What a great last teacher appreciation week at Bullock Elementary. Definitely an emotional week, as well, as I officially resigned my position after this school year. I kept putting it off, even though I already fully committed to another job, but I knew my principal really needed me to make it official so he could start looking for the best replacement for a second grade teacher. So I finally did, and now people will start hearing through the grapevine that I'm leaving (precisely what I was avoiding....) Oh, well. Five weeks left. It's going fast!

Then I ended the week by going on a date with Mike last night to get a free sundae for Teacher Appreciation Week.  With, of course, more strawberries. :)



 

Butterflies and Books

We ended April with a little extra magic in our classroom, watching our caterpillars go through complete metamorphosis and turn into beautiful butterflies. We had eight butterflies grace our classroom with their beauty, but we only kept them confined for a few days before we decided to launch them into the world and give them a chance to spread their wings. As sad as the kids were about having to say goodbye to our butterflies, they agreed that our little cage was not the proper habitat for our newly winged friends. 

That same week, a book project that we'd worked on a few weeks prior arrived early with our new published books! I'm the only teacher in the school that has done this project, and I love how proud the kids feel when they hold our published book in their hands. Not much excites me more than seeing kids get excited about writing. If you've never worked with Studentreasures, I highly recommend them. Such a great experience for kids of all ages. 

Proudly holding their certificates that say, "I'm a published author!"

My artistic son, Juan David, drew this precious cover. I absolutely love it!





Out of everything we do all year in second grade, I must admit that these books and butterflies are two of my favorite things to do with my students. This is my tenth year in second grade, but the last two years, we have not had butterflies (or any live insects) for this unit due to everything getting messed up from COVID. I am glad we did not have to miss out on the magic this year. My last favorite project is to have them write letters of encouragement to each other so they each have a set of letters from every single student in the class. We usually do that in the last week or two of school. This year I have special notebooks for them to do it in. I can't wait! It's always a very meaningful activity that they love doing for each other and also receiving. I love helping kids find their voice as a writer. 
I wonder what incredible science adventures await me next year, especially with the beautiful nature all around us and the focus on a Creator. And as far as the books go, that's a project I plan to take with me and do wherever I am with students. 

Happy May Day!

I love May. All the colors, the flowers, and the celebrations. Being at the end of the school year, it always seems to go by super quickly, so I have to savor every day to make it feel like it's lasting more than a few seconds. 

Today I spend the day with David. He came home for the weekend, so we went out to lunch yesterday to Chick Fil-A to see their newly remodeled store where he used to work. Then we worked on cleaning out parts of the kitchen and living room, deciding what to keep and what to sell in our garage sale. Then we went to church and went out to eat together afterwards. This morning Mike went to work, Juan went to his church, and David and I had another day together. We took advantage of a free Teacher Appreciation meal at Hat Creek, enjoyed a nice lunchtime together, and then came home to go through some more areas of the house. 

I caught David in his bedroom this afternoon looking at his baby pictures and baby books, going through old soccer albums and uniforms, reminiscing over his childhood. So sweet. What a strange feeling to know that we're leaving Texas, but he's not. I'm so thankful we've had the last two years with him so close, and I'm also thankful for how God used the last two years to only allow me to see him on weekends to prepare me to not have him around. It's obvious when he is home that he's got one foot in the door and one foot out, and he sure has appreciated the opportunity to be somewhat independent. Every once in awhile, I have my teary moments when I think about being so far away from him, but I don't think the reality has truly hit me. Honestly, I think having him move away would have been easier than moving away from him will be. 

I loved his transparency yesterday when he told us, "I don't really like coming home every single weekend, but I'm going to do so for as long as I can." Well said. Smart kid. I can think of a few things that I need to adopt his motto for, a few things I just need to take time to appreciate for as long as I still can. 

So that's how I spent my May Day. Wonder what other Teacher Appreciation deals I can find this week. I plan on wearing my Teacher t-shirts all week, with the exception of my Mexican shirt for 5 de mayo on Thursday. With the exception of one of our end of year tests tomorrow (which may take all day long), I hope to have a more light-hearted week and intentionally enjoy my class over the next few days. 

Easter 2022

I started this Easter morning sitting outside on my front porch before I saw even a hint of sunrise. It's my favorite way to celebrate the day we remember the greatest event in history, the day that changed everything. When my mother-in-law sent me an early morning greeting saying Happy Easter, I told her I was sitting outside waiting for sunrise. She let me know that she was NOT sitting outside in Indiana, where it was only 30 degrees outside. A good reminder to soak up Texas weather while I still can. My first winter back in Indiana sure is going to sting a bit! Thankfully it's a bit warmer in Columbus than in Warsaw, where she is.

If you find me a bit distant lately, it may be that my thoughts are quite jumbled and it takes a lot more mental energy to keep things compartmentalized. I'm in the midst of starting to pack up what I can, purge what I can, and start to get some sort of organized plan of how this move will take place. At the same time, I'm very focused on making sure the time I spend with people here is very meaningful and connected, focusing on quality time rather than thinking about the quantity of time I have left here in Texas. I think COVID helped me adopt that mentality, too. We forget to live life meaningfully until we suddenly can't. I want to spend my days finding the good in people, appreciating them for who they are and the time we can spend together. Because, honestly, we're not ever promised a tomorrow to soak in today. 

There are many things and people in Texas that I will miss, but at the same time, I'm really looking forward to this new adventure on the horizon. A chance to connect and grow close to the Alspaugh side of the family. A chance to see my husband work alongside his brother and be back in an environment where he can breathe and feel comfortable. A chance to live and work in a more natural environment, watching all four seasons play out God's incredible design in this earth. A chance to not just teach students, but invest in each one of them spiritually, inside and outside of the classroom. A chance to work on a smaller team in a smaller environment where my introverted self doesn't get swallowed up in the crowd. A chance to have a fresh start with Mike, living life on mission together, stepping out in faith to see what God has in store for our life and marriage. 

I'm also thankful that God is giving me permission to leave public education and giving Mike a chance to leave the world of retail and being confined to ever-changing, inconsistent schedules. Both have taken a toll on us physically, mentally, and relationally in the last few years. 

When I asked Mike about his recent thoughts about this move, he said he feels like we're preparing to go on a mission trip. But this mission trip is only one way with no return planned. To me, it feels a lot like pursuing Juan David's adoption. We had no guarantee of how it would turn out, either time. It didn't make a lot of sense financially, it meant a lot of sacrifice in every way, and we knew it would change everything about our lives--but we knew without a doubt that God called us to follow in obedience. I hate going so far away from both of my boys more than anything, but I also know that sometimes that distance at their ages really helps them mature, establish their own identify, and step up in responsibility. (At least that's what I'm hoping. Lol.) I'm thankful for how they both are on board and supportive with this unexpected change in our lives. 

I talked with the previous teacher from the school, a young lady who reminded me a lot of younger me at her age, with a heart for missions and a sense of living life on adventure with God. She absolutely did not want to leave New Song and struggled immensely with the decision, but she knew she had to follow God into the next chapter. She's been praying for the next teacher to come, and I'm so humbled to know she's been praying for me. She was so excited to hear from me and thanked me for answering the call to go. The more she talked about everything she did there as a teacher inside and outside of the classroom, investing in the kids and bonding with them, taking them on trips, going to coffee shops, arranging shopping trips or fun activities, inviting them to her home, having dinner together for Together Tuesdays, etc--it just stirred my heart and excited me even more to know that God chose me to follow in her footsteps. It reminded me a lot of my ESL "teaching" days in Warsaw, IN before I ever had a teaching license or even considered getting one. I had a grand plan for "the mission field" back then, a nice script all written of what that would look like. But God has made it so evidently clear over the last 20 or so years that His script looked different than mine. He's kept me consistently on mission, constantly weaving together every part of my life to prepare me for the next chapter. Now here He is again, using the beginning of my unexpected teaching career to show me how He has prepared me and my heart for this phase ahead. It ALL works together. 

We've still been pretty quiet, only telling the people closest to us, more out of respect/caution with our jobs. I look forward to the day that I can share on social media about New Song and raise more awareness about the incredible faith that founded the mission. But not yet. Probably not until we're very close to moving--which, really, isn't that far away. I better get back to my to-do list so I don't get overwhelmed. Here's my new motto that I have to keep coming back to, reminding me that God's got every detail covered. I found it on an old LakePointe shirt as I was starting to go through clothes that I want to keep or not. I think I'm going to wear this one often now. 

First things first, to hop on my bike while my family is scattered for at least the morning. Here's a pic of all of us together for the Easter service yesterday. 

23 years

If I've learned anything over the last few years, it's that an anniversary should be celebrated. Like really celebrated. For two reasons. Number one--Marriage is hard. Two sinful, selfish people from two different backgrounds raised in completely different ways, trying to come together as one is no easy task. And in a culture where marriage is seen as a contract, not a covenant, so many give up far too soon. I've watched too many friends and family lose the opportunity to celebrate their anniversary with their husband, either through an unexpected divorce, separation, or even death. 

To be honest, anniversary celebrations are hard for me because we had one that ended in disaster and heartache and years of healing in the aftermath. Plus, I am always saving so much for the future that I don't always take the time to live in the moment. We focus so much on the key years, like ten, twenty, twenty-five or fifty. But we made it past 22 years, and we weren't promised 23, so why not make 23 a big deal?

With so much change on the horizon, Mike and I realized we wanted to celebrate our life in Texas and create a memory we never took the time or swallowed the expense to do. We have pictures of visiting the "high places" in other cities we've visited, but never in Dallas--ironically where we spent our very first anniversary, never in our wildest dreams imagining we'd later live here for almost nineteen years. 

Mike took care of all the details and threw a plan together at the last minute, hoping everything would flow smoothly. He requested two days off at work (he often works weekends) and arranged a beautiful celebration for us, including a coffee date, shopping, a nice dinner, tickets to Reunion Tower, and even a night in a hotel with a view of the Dallas skyline. He spoiled me, and I am so thankful for the memory we made here in Dallas right before we venture back into the small town, country life he's been missing the last nineteen years. 

Tender stories of redemption

Mary DeMuth's newest book, The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible, just released and should arrive any day! I was able to read an advanced copy as part of her launch team, and I just finished reading it yesterday. 

I woke up this morning feeling like I personally knew the ten women whose stories I finished reading late last night before I drifted off to sleep. Like I had a tender connection with each one of them. Women like Hagar, Rahab, Tamar, Bathsheba, Leah, Naomi, as well as a few others whose stories I had never taken the time to explore in such a personal, tender way. I felt their pain, their shame, their embarrassment and wanted to carry it for them. I joined in their confusion over why God allowed them to endure what they did. I felt their bewilderment over circumstances they didn't ask for or even see coming, and I stood in awe as I saw their redemption in God's greater story. I admired their humility and determination to keep moving forward, despite their lot or regrettable mistake. Their stories, no matter how hard, unfair, and misunderstood, held a purpose that led to the ultimate salvation of many. 

Hagar helped me understand that God sees me intimately. Rahab taught me to leave the past in the past and move forward when God calls. Tamar gave me a deeper compassion for victims of sexual assault. Bathsheba showed me a life of humility that can usher in unexpected peace. Leah challenged me to look to God to fulfill me. Naomi opened my heart to empathize with those in deep grief. 

Not only did this book help me see these women in such a new, tender way, but it inspired me to trust God even in the hardest of circumstances, knowing that He sees me and will not abandon me. I highly recommend this book to any woman out there who has felt abused, abandoned, taken advantage of, hurt, or misunderstood. I also recommend it for any woman who doesn't understand why God would allow so much pain in her life. This read will make her feel like she's not alone and will help her to see that God is not unaware and has not left her side. He's still there. 

A puzzle coming together

I'm writing this post more for me than for anyone else, so I am not really worried about length or keeping a reader's attention here. It's likely to be repetitive of the last few posts, as well. I want to have it as a post I can continue to look back on and remember how we got to where we are now. To remember how and why we suddenly switched gears and made such a huge change to in our lives and how we watched God reveal a picture to us one piece at a time. And I sure do love that feeling of putting that last piece in a puzzle that I've worked on for so long.

July 25--The day before we went back to work for the 2021/22 school year, I hopped on my bike and rode my normal ten mile ride to and from the nature trail, stopping to sit by a beautiful pond and fountain (as I often did) to reflect and talk to God. I dedicated the coming school year to Him and was determined to find a better balance between my workload and my health this year. Last year nearly killed me, so I already decided that I needed to set clear boundaries with how much I was willing to push myself to make sure my kids succeeded. There had to be a line that said, "That's enough. Focus your attention on something else now."

I sure was going to miss my morning bike rides to the nature trail. If I learned anything about myself during COVID over the last two years, it's that I absolutely love to be out in nature. Out on my porch listening to the birds sing. Sitting by a pond, creek, or stream reflecting or writing. Riding my bike at sunrise or sunset, breathing in the colors in the sky, taking notice of the variety of flowers blooming and each flower's unique beauty. Something about being outside makes me feel so much more alive and closer to my Creator. 

July 30--I prepped my classroom for school to start on Monday and walked out the door to my car to enjoy my final weekend of summer, but I tripped on the sidewalk just a few feet from my car and fell hard onto my chest. I bruised a rib and couldn't bend down or even lay down for the next two weeks. I started the first day of school in a lot of pain and never did get to organize all the kids' school supplies or my classroom library that first week. (Sadly, I felt behind and disorganized the whole first semester after that.) I wasn't able to go for morning walks or early evening bike rides, either, for several weeks. So not the positive way I hoped to start out this new school year.

October--We went to Indiana during fall break for a long overdue "vacation" to see family. Mike's dad's dementia had progressed quickly, so he sadly didn't recognize us most of the time. Mike, his brother, and David worked hard on helping get some of the house/barn cleaned up, knowing his dad would likely end up in a home very soon and his mom would likely need to sell the house. I admired the way Mike and his brother worked so selflessly, and it was obvious that they worked very well as a team and actually enjoyed the work when they did it together. I will also admit that I even asked God if perhaps we were supposed to move back to Indiana to be more available to help his mom out. 

Chrissy and I spent some good quality time together going for walks and talking on a much deeper level than we have in the past. Watching our husbands see their dad's memory decline so quickly gave us a lot to talk about, and we really seemed to connect in a whole new way. 

October 21--I received an e-mail from my district with my new scorecard from the last year, the new way of evaluating teachers from year to year to see if they qualify for a "bonus". It doesn't affect your job or salary in any way, it's just supposed to be an extra incentive to "work harder". Bringing such an evaluation system in during a pandemic when not all students are in an ideal learning environment or where teachers have any control over their student's learning environments is not the best idea. Teachers will always strive for excellence, so honestly, it's just another way to beat them down rather than encourage and support them. Another way to make them feel like they're not doing enough. I met all the criteria except for the percentage of students meeting the expected growth, so I did not "qualify" for the extra money. Despite the fact that I worked harder and sacrificed more of myself that year than any year of my life. Last year's goal was SURVIVAL Honestly, we weren't given the tools or support necessary to help students make that growth, so I didn't really care. But it sure didn't settle well with me when I got that e-mail, reminding me that last year's efforts and sacrifices weren't good enough. Those kind of thoughts can be toxic. I began to think that maybe it's time to think about moving on to something else. 

November 16--Mike had made arrangements to go to Indiana for a week or so over Christmas to help his mom out with a surgery related to her cancer. (His dad was already in a home by now and had gone back and forth between the home and hospital on several occasions.) But this particular night on our way to ReEngage, Mike mentioned that he was looking into taking FMLA to stay up to 3 weeks, and that he wanted to work with his brother with his business in the middle week. His brother had started his own handy-man business about a year or so ago in Columbus, IN and had mentioned several times how he'd love for Mike to partner with him. So Mike wanted to take that week to explore that possibility, saying he could make enough money working with him to cover the loss of income here. 

I was not okay with him taking any unpaid time off, especially right after Christmas, nor was I okay with him thinking he needed to be gone for three whole weeks! We had a pretty heated discussion that night, ironically right in the parking lot at church. Mike is normally pretty passive, but he made it pretty clear that night that he had already arranged this and wanted my support. He needed to explore the idea of moving to Indiana to work in business with his brother, and he asked me to at least pray about it. 

That same month, I found a new prayer journal online that I really liked, and when I ordered one for myself, I felt prompted to order one for Chrissy, too. I liked it because it combined all my journals into one, and she liked it because of the chronological Bible reading plan in the front, a part I hadn't even noticed. 

December 5--I met with a close friend for dinner and opened my heart about my struggles with school this year and even about Mike's thoughts about moving to Indiana. We discussed what other things I might be able to look into for next year, like finding a teaching job where I could work with small groups. That thought really appealed to me, so now I had a goal to look for an open position like that. I made the decision that day that this would likely be my last year as a full classroom teacher. 

December 11--Two weeks before Christmas, Mike's mom texted to say that his dad had COVID. She wouldn't be able to visit him for two weeks, and her surgery was scheduled only days after that. 

December 20--Chrissy posted on Facebook that she was looking forward to doing a second year through the Bible Recap, a chronological reading of the Bible. I liked her post, and she sent me a message asking if I wanted to join her and a group of women from her church this year to do it again. I had never done anything like that, so I eagerly agreed. When I went to print out the reading plan, I noticed it followed the plan in the journal exactly!

December 21--We hadn't heard much on Mike's dad's status, so we thought he was doing okay through COVID. But then the hospital/nursing facility called Mike's mom to say that his dad's oxygen levels were very low and he likely would not make it through the night. His quarantine had not ended yet, so she couldn't even see him. We prayed for him to survive the night so she had a chance to say goodbye.

December 22-Mike's dad made it through the night, and after a LOT of struggle with the facility, his mom got permission to go in to see him and stay with him through the following night. He sadly passed away within a couple hours while she held his hand. 

December 24-Juan and I made last minute arrangements to fly up to Indiana early on January 1 so we could attend the funeral on January 3, over a week away due to his mom having a major surgery scheduled. 

December 25--Christmas morning. Mike and David flew to Indianapolis and then drove up to Warsaw with his brother, Matt, to his mom's house to help and support her with surgery, to work with his brother, and now also to have a funeral for their dad. They had all the details planned out ahead of time, but adding a funeral to those plans never crossed their minds. 

December 28--My mother-in-law had a masectomy and did well, much better than expected. I'm sure having her sons and grandson there for support really helped, especially while processing the reality that she was now a widow. 

December 31-Juan tested positive for COVID, and I had been exposed to him the first day he showed symptoms, so we had to cancel our flights for the next morning. We were not going to be able to make it to the funeral. I was devastated. But I focused my time and energy on taking the best care of my son that I could through closed doors. 

January 1--I felt very confident that God gave me the word PEACE for the year 2022. My emotions were all over the place, so peace felt very far off. I worked hard to make my home feel as peaceful as possible while Mike and David were away. But peace is internal, and as much as I tried to add external peace, I still felt a mess inside.  I hated not being there for my husband as they prepared for his dad's funeral and burial.

January 3--They had Mike's dad's funeral. I cried the whole way through because I couldn't be there. Chrissy sent me texts through the day to let me know how everyone was doing and to make me feel like I didn't miss everything completely.

January 4--Chrissy drove back home to Columbus with two of her boys while leaving the oldest to keep working with Matt, Mike, and David. 

January 6--Chrissy decided to go to the library with her two littles and met a stranger who struck up a conversation with her. They worked for a children's home in Columbus called New Song Mission and randomly shared that they just lost their licensed teacher. Something about that news made Chrissy think of me and prompted her to call the director to get more information. She told me about the random meeting that night and sent me the information the next day. I looked at the salary offered and dismissed it immediately. Thanks, but no thanks. It was going to take a lot more than that to get me to consider leaving Texas to move to Columbus. 

January 9--I decided that if Chrissy took the time to get me this information, I should at least have the courtesy to look it over. After reading through the website and job description more carefully and thoroughly, I wrote to Chrissy saying, "this seems like something my heart is interestingly longing for." A children's home located on 100 acres of natural landscape, and a job where the teacher expectations emphasized the spiritual before the academic. Expectations such as: Model a personal relationship with Jesus Christ • Inspire students to have a personal faith in the Creator God and the Savior, Jesus Christ • Disciple the students in Christian principles and living • Integrate biblical principles and the Christian worldview throughout the curriculum and learning activities. 

I agreed to pray about it.

January 22--Almost two weeks went by before I decided to send an e-mail to New Song to inquire more about this teacher position and to even see if it would be open for the following school year. 

January 25--7:15 am. My friend Fran/publisher for a book I'm working on asked me to let her know how she could pray for me, and I wrote back saying that I could use prayer regarding the need to make a career change, but that I didn't even know what that might look like.

9:15 am--I got a response from Bob Schloss at New Song telling me they'd like to have a few candidates by March for the position for next school year. He asked if I had any "break" time to talk during a school day.  My mind started trying to figure out logistically when and how I could do that because honestly, no, I couldn't make time for more than a five minute uninterrupted phone call during any given school day. 

January 26--Chrissy said Matt wanted to pull away from a side job working occasionally with her brother, Jeremy, but that he told him he had a brother that looked and acted just like him with all the same skills who might be interested in working with him. This detail would give Mike the security of having enough income while he and his brother worked on building up Matt's business to support both of them full-time. 

February 3--We had an ice storm, so I suddenly had opportune time in the middle of a school day to have a long phone call with Bob to learn all about New Song's mission and their open teacher position. I felt very inspired and drawn to the entire ministry. He immediately sent me an e-mail saying that I sounded like I could be a good fit and that he'd love to begin the interview process with me if I was serious about moving to Indiana. I said I'd need a couple weeks to think and pray about it and talk to a few people. I reached out to my Bible study friends to pray about it with me, though I didn't really give a lot of detail. 

February 12-I sent the New Song website to ONE friend (the one I met with for dinner in December) and explained a little more backstory as to how it came about. I told her I was torn and asked for her to tell me her thoughts and to pray about it with me. She looked over the website and said that she could definitely see it as a good fit for my personality and skills. She agreed to pray with me about it as I continued to pursue it.

February 17-18--I talked with a counselor at church about this new direction, and he told me to take some focused time to pray about it. If this was from God, He would give me a real sense of peace. I was sick for two days with a stomach bug, so I took the time at home to pray specifically for direction. Two verses jumped out at me over those two days, the main one being from Psalm 23 about following God's leading to green pastures and still waters, realizing that New Song sits on 100 beautiful acres of land/nature with a pond of still water right outside the classroom. Being the writer and poet that I am, I've always been drawn to streams, ponds, and rivers for inspiration. (Look back at the first date on this timeline.....) Just thinking about working in such a natural environment day in and day out made me feel like I could breathe again. 

February 24--I felt pulled to start the interview process with New Song, but I had parent conferences for two weeks straight and struggled to find a time to take a half day off to schedule the first interview. Then we had another ice storm and school cancelled again, so I connected with Bob to do a zoom interview that day. Bob seemed very encouraged with me and the specific skill set I could bring to the job. 

Mike had already suggested we drive up to Indiana during spring break so I could see the school and continue the interview in person, knowing that I would not have peace about any of this without physically being on campus and meeting the staff and students. So when Bob suggested we continue the second interview over my spring break, I told him I might just be able to do so in person!

March 3--I talked to the same counselor at church about how things had progressed so far, and he agreed, that despite as fast as it came up, it really did sound like something God was calling me to.  I said it sounded like a great opportunity, but it sure didn't fit my financial timeline with my son in college and getting my house paid off. He said, "Well, God's timeline is not always the same as our timeline."

March 10--We drove to Indiana the day before, slept at my brother-in-law's house, and arrived at New Song at 8:00 am. After meeting the directors and the students and observing a few things in action, I sat down at the main kitchen table in the house/school for a cup of coffee with Lisa, Bob's wife, for my second interview to go over how the school aspect runs. I felt a very real connection to Lisa and realized she's the kind of person I want to be around. Bob took Mike and David for a walk/tour around the campus, and then when both Bob and Lisa had to leave for appointments, Mike and David gave me a similar tour. Something about being on that campus gave me such a sense of peace and made me feel alive. I won't lie, working with vulnerable children is not and will not be an easy task. But it's a task I feel equipped for, and knowing that the staff works as a team to meet the needs of each child is encouraging. I'd work with possibly 8-10 kids in a small, family-like environment, all different ages. I can teach in English, and can teach Spanish as an elective. I can teach science in light of a Creator. I can help them connect with the Hispanic community to possibly reach more Hispanic students in the future. (So far they've had four Hispanic students out of 18 total over the last four years). 

I loved Lisa's comment to me, that the ultimate goal is for the child to know Christ. No talk of a STAAR test, MAP growth, etc. To know Christ. And God seemed to be calling ME to this opportunity. 

March 11- I went to a cute little coffee shop in Columbus to do a zoom interview with J.K. Stevens, their educational consultant. He is a Christian school administrator, and we talked about the vision for New Song over the next few years and their need for a teacher to guide them toward that vision (taking it from New Song Mission--a children's home with a school to New Song Leadership Academy--a residential, accredited school where vulnerable kids can grow and thrive by living in a Christian, family-like environment). Both of these interviews made me feel like I was talking with "my people". I felt like I could be 100% me and not try to impress anyone or put on a show. And just thinking about the opportunity gives me a whole new sense of purpose. I sent an e-mail to Bob as soon as I finished the interview with J.K. Stevens saying that I appreciated the opportunity to talk with him and that I could really envision myself working with everyone at New Song. He wrote back and said he also felt like I seemed to be a good fit and could be a blessing to both the students and staff alike. 

March 12--We left Matt and Chrissy's house after a late breakfast/brunch, and decided to drive half-way home to Memphis and do a little "sight-seeing". While on the road, I e-mailed Bob from my phone with a couple more questions, and he e-mailed me back saying he had a couple more questions, as well. He asked if we could arrange a phone call that afternoon. We were on the road with spotty signal, so I told him we'd stop in Nashville, TN where I would have better signal. We stopped at a Home Depot in Nashville so Mike and David could walk around while I talked to Bob. After he asked me a few questions and answered mine, he then proceeded to tell me that he'd like to offer me the job at an even higher salary than he had originally said due to my experience and my Spanish-speaking skills. I felt a very real peace and accepted the offer!

That same afternoon, I got another e-mail from my district reminding me that I did not meet the qualifications last year for the "bonus" money at school, but that they would consider me for it next year based on my students' growth this year.  Reminding me that last year's sacrifices to my health, my family, and my sanity were not enough. Reminding me that all the time I focused on my students' mental health last year didn't matter because it's not measured on their rubric. Reminding me that public school had changed so much over the last two years, turning it in to a sole focus on test scores over everything else--even in a global pandemic. 

Children are more than a test score. Teachers are more than a set of test scores. Educating a whole child encompasses so many more areas than can be measured on a rubric. Especially in a pandemic. 

March 27--New Song finally sent me an official offer of employment, and for some reason, I just kept myself busy all day and barely even took the time to read through it. I sat down later that evening to read through and ask a few more questions. I printed it out to take with me to work the next day to scan it to my e-mail. In a small moment of panic about the finality of this decision, I asked God to give me a verse that would put me at ease. Soon I heard the words "I will give you the desires of your heart." And I knew God gave me those words. 

March 28--I woke up to an e-mail with all my new questions answered, the last of which asked what church they personally attended in the area. I printed the employment offer and took it to work with me so I could sign it, scan it, and send it back to my personal e-mail address. That night, I asked Mike again, "Are you in?" and "Are you sure?" He said, "I'm all in." 

March 29--I sent my signed letter to New Song.

March 30--I got an e-mail with Bob's signature on the employment offer, saying "We're so excited to have you join our ministry at New Song Mission."

March 31--I looked up the church he said they attended and found a sermon of a time he spoke as a guest speaker to talk about New Song (listen here).  Hearing again about the faith that New Song was built on, I felt so honored to be chosen by God to partner with this ministry.

It's time for a big change. It's time to move on. It's time to jump into something that my heart truly longs to be able to do--to teach and model Christ to everyone around me, especially my students--and to give Mike the opportunity to do something he has always dreamed of doing, as well. 

It's all a bit overwhelming, scary, and exciting. But most of all, it bring me peace and makes me feel alive.

My counselor said, "It sounds like you're trying to give yourself permission to do what you've always wanted to do. It's time."

Each date on this timeline brings a different piece to this puzzle. A lot of pieces are still missing because God hasn't revealed them yet (like selling a house and buying a new one, or guiding Juan on some big decisions for living independently of us), but so far it seems to paint a pretty cool picture that I never could have imagined even six months ago. I just have to remind myself that this has all come about one step at a time, and God will continue to guide us in the same way, one step at a time. 

Sharing it all with friends and family now seems to come as a shock to most, but at the same time, they all react with incredible support and excitement for us. I've already got friends from church envisioning a mission trip to New Song in the near future!

"I can see you riding your bike on those country roads and writing a lot."

"I can just see all the poetry coming out of you sitting at that picnic table in front of the pond."

Yes, my true friends know me well. 

 

Why yes?

As we started to drive away on Saturday, I finally had a chance to pull out my journal and start writing out my thoughts. Until I have a chance to write, all my thoughts just swirl around in my head like a jumbled mess. (Which is precisely why I avoid talking to people and most definitely don't call anyone). But writing truly does help me make sense of things or at least connect the dots. 

I decided to listen to my son and stop finding every reason NOT to do this and write out all the reasons why I SHOULD. I wrote at the top of the page, WHY YES. 

I can work in full-time ministry as a teacher with the ultimate goal of leading children to Christ and teaching them how to live their life for him. (Honestly, I could probably stop right there. I mean, isn't that enough?)I can work for a mission organization built on FAITH.My classroom would overlook a beautiful pond of calm, still water.I could start and end my workdays (during my planning time) looking out over a quiet pond, an environment that feeds my soul. I can teach Spanish in a fun, creative way, along with other electives I might enjoy or be knowledgeable in. I can teach science in light of a Creator and right in the middle of 100 acres of nature.We can take field trips to enhance learning. I can work with a small group rather than a class of 22 students and have one-on-one time to work with each of them. I can teach creatively again.The focus is on the whole child, not just academics. When we meet the needs of the whole child, academics automatically improves. We get to do activities together outside of the classroom schedule each week, getting to form a relationship with each child OUTSIDE of school. There is a daily read-aloud time. I love doing read alouds, and I can read Christian series books that I used to read with David. Students start the day with servant leadership/chapel.We're all one team working together to disciple and mold each child into a leader for the future. I can use my knowledge, training, and experience working with kids from hard places. Mike would be so much happier and more fulfilled.Mike would be closer to his mom and not feel so guilty about his brother having to carry most of that burden to help her.I have a really good, close relationship with Chrissy that has deepened spiritually over the last few months.Mike can help Matt take his business to a new level and keep him from having to turn away so much work. Hearing comments like: "New Song needs you, Rachelle." "If you come to New Song, we'll be jumping up and down." "You would be such an answer to prayer." "I love your missional heart."I'd be joining God where He is already at work, calling people with just the right gifts to use at just the right time. I'd have a chance to multiply my experience with and impact on Juan David and Julian by working with children from hard places.Though I completely shocked people when I brought up this possibility to them, they responded with overwhelming support and prayer.My own son told me, "The writing is on the wall, Mom. You just have to read it."I want to be around people just like Bob and Lisa, passionately and sacrificially following their calling.It's a chance to care for the widows and the orphans, the single moms and the fatherless.I'm NOT tapping into my ministry potential right now.It's a chance to think "maximum impact" with my time each day.Teaching board/card games is just one way they teach social skills there, and Mike and I have always been big at playing games as a couple and a family. I'd be closer to my mother-in-law and have a chance to build a real relationship with her.I'd be closer to my sweet niece who I bonded with over a school project two years ago, who also just accepted Christ over the last year. Mike could be part of his nephews' lives.The timing is right, with both my boys now adults.I get to be at the forefront of helping a ministry rise to the next level by narrowing their mission/vision and helping guide them move toward accreditation. The whole year is not spent thinking about and prepping for a test. I've come to realize that I can sacrifice everything, including my time, my health, my family, and my sanity in public school right now, and it still will not be considered enough. I will always fall short because of their new evaluation system. Now I have a chance to teach with eternal purpose,  to make an eternal impact. I'm sure there are even more reasons, but that's the gist of what went through my mind that day. 

The Writing on the Wall

After a long 14 hour drive to Columbus, IN on Wednesday, we got up early on Thursday morning to head to our morning appointment at New Song Mission, still a bit overwhelmed that we'd come this far in the process.
After entering the gate, we drove around a long, windy road and took in the beauty of the land all around us, just starting to show a bit of life after the winter.
We drove up to three different houses and ended up parking at the first one, where the students would soon congregate for their daily morning chapel/servant leadership class. They live in the other two houses on the property, and this house is where they do everything school related. 

We were soon greeted out on the front porch as the kids arrived with the houseparents and everyone introduced themselves. There were chairs set up in the living room, where we also saw a game table set off to the side and other games up on the shelf on the mantel. We enjoyed the laid back way the morning started out, and we got to know the girls' houseparents by making a connection over where they used to live in Texas. Then we sat down and participated in their morning review lesson over the armor of God. The kids sat and participated through the whole lesson and answered a lot of questions. It's their first period, and they get graded on their level of participation, I believe. After that, they mingled for a few minutes before going downstairs to begin their classes for the day.  
Mike, David, and I stood around in the kitchen talking with Bob and Lisa (the founders/directors of the mission) while they brewed a pot of coffee. Once the coffee was ready, Mike and David went for a walk around the campus with Bob, while Lisa and I sat at the large kitchen table to talk more in depth about how the school ran. She talked a lot about the role of the teacher and how it overlaps with the houseparent's role. Everyone is part of the team, and it really just felt like one big family. I loved her transparency about the intensity of this job and her need to rely 100% on Christ's strength, but also about the great reward when you are able to disciple these kids to know Christ and find a new way to live. We seemed to connect very well, and when she shared more about their calling and vision to start this school in front of seemingly insurmountable hurdles, their faith and obedience to the call really inspired me. They stepped into it without the money or resources necessary and have watched God provide in amazing ways. Everywhere you look on the campus holds a story of how God orchestrated every detail and provided the means to complete it. 
She gave me a tour of the classroom downstairs, separated by a stairway in the middle to keep the boys' and girls' classrooms separate. It led out onto a patio that overlooked a big pond. All I could think was, "Wow. This could be my new classroom, and this could be the view outside my classroom all day every day." Just the thought of it brought peace to my soul.
We went back inside and talked some more, making more connections, even finding out that we both had worked at Warsaw High School, just at different times. Her as a social worker, me as an ESL instructor/helping teacher. I was able to open up about how God led me here, completely against my will, but how I could not deny that this mission and job opportunity really coincided perfectly with my passions, my education, my unique experiences in life, and my calling. I could definitely see how God has equipped me for it. Her eyes welled up with tears and she said, "You'd be such an answer to prayer."

Bob had to leave and head to Indianapolis for some trainings, and Lisa had to take care of a few things before an 11:00 appointment, so she quickly showed me a large room they had available for us to stay in for the first two months if needed, and then Mike, David, and I were on our own to explore the campus and the grounds. We walked around and took a bunch of pictures, and Mike and David filled me in on the next phases of development scheduled for New Song (that Bob had explained to them as they walked the campus with him.) All around the grounds, you can find plaques with special names of projects completed and Bible verses on them, like Victory Park, Joyful Noise Playground, Faith Lane, etc. (Reminded me a lot of the campus at Dallas Baptist University). Each one like a memorial to how God provided in a God-sized way. 





This is definitely a place where God is at work, and I am a bit overwhelmed at the thought that He is  calling me to be a part of it--and has been equipping me with teaching experiences over the last 19 years since they year they founded the mission and began raising funds for it. It took me back to the study I led ten years ago called Experiencing God, when I learned that rather than pursuing our own path and mission, we should be looking to where God is already at work and be willing to join Him there. 
When I first found out about New Song, I knew that to pursue it would mean dropping my income significantly. With a son in college, I completely resisted. I felt like I would be a fool to even consider doing such a thing. Some day I hoped to be able to walk away from a steady income to be able to pursue full-time ministry, but definitely not while trying to get my son through college. Yet after seeing how uniquely I fit into this ministry (and the timing with Mike's brother wanting him to join him in business), as well as the faith that Bob and Lisa lived out in order to start New Song, I felt like I'd be a fool to walk away and say I couldn't do it. I'd be a fool to not see God's hand in getting me there. 
Mike, David, and I then drove into Columbus to eat at a really cool pizza joint with the most delicious pizza and bread sticks, and we talked more about our experience. Then we went and found a local coffee shop to sit and continue talking. I asked David what he thought (many times), and his words really hit me. "Mom, the writing is on the wall. You just need to read it. You need to stop resisting and finding every reason not to do this." I'm so glad he decided at the last minute to make this trip with us because I greatly value his input and perspective. Just like with Juan's adoption, we had to all be in it together. We also met up with Chrissy's brother, who owns another business that Mike has an opportunity to work with while he and Matt work on building up Matt's business to the next level to be able to employ both of them full-time. The meeting went really well, and I can't deny how God seems to be covering every detail to make this work. 

We went back to Matt and Chrissy's to enjoy the rest of the evening, while I quietly processed all of the events of the day and tried to listen carefully to whatever God wanted to speak to my heart.

I had another interview with New Song's educational consultant via Zoom the next day, and due to spotty internet, I decided to go back to the coffee shop the next day for that meeting. Two interviews over coffee--can't ask for more comfort than that!
The next day we woke up to a colder morning and snow beginning to fall. Funny how a little snow doesn't stop anything in Indiana, while in Texas the whole town might shut down. Lol. 


Chrissy is in a wildlife rehabilitation program, so she's been working hard to rehabilitate three deer through the winter. I opened the camper door, and this little guy was standing there ready to greet me!
Chrissy amazes me with her love and dedication to this new family member, Sully. 

At midday, Chrissy took me to the coffee shop so I could have my zoom interview. It was with a guy who is a Christian school administrator, and he just wanted to know more about my teaching experience and to find out if I could be a good asset to help guide New Song to narrow their vision to become New Song Leadership Academy, to develop a strong curriculum with that purpose, and to help them reach their goal of accreditation. He was so impressed with my wide range of experiences and also with my missional heart. He looked just like a close friend, so I felt very comfortable talking to him, and we connected very well. By the end, he was saying things like, "Rachelle, New Song needs you. If you join us, we will be jumping up and down!"
Once again, I thought, "I'd be a fool to walk away and say I just can't do this." I prayed for clarity and had so many friends from church sending me messages saying they were praying for my clarity. And the answer seemed clearer every hour. 
I also had the chance to connect with an old college friend who happens to pastor a small church in Columbus. I wanted to get his opinion/thoughts on New Song from an outsider's perspective, and he had wonderful things to say about both the director and the ministry. It's also nice to know Mike and I already have an old friend we could connect with in the area. 
We all enjoyed a nice evening with lot of quality family time and conversation. I missed Juan not being with us, though--but honestly, Juan seems more comfortable and connected to my side of the family, while David fits in really well with this side of the family. 







We woke up the next morning to a bitter 14 degrees, so we enjoyed a nice warm breakfast together before we hit the road to come home. We hadn't tried out the other local coffee shop, so we had to stop by and grab our coffee for the road there. Super cool place, but definitely a little more expensive than the first coffee shop.






We also drove by the church that my friend pastors just to say we saw it. 

Rather than drive the 12-14 hours home in one day, we decided to break it up and make a stop in Memphis for the night. We've driving by this huge Bass Pro Shop shaped like a big pyramid many times, so we decided to check it out. Pretty cool place, if you're into that kind of stuff, anyway. We even had dinner in the restaurant downstairs, though we weren't really that impressed with the food for the price. There's an observatory up at the top that overlooks Memphis, but it had already closed for the evening. 


Memphis bridge at night.
I got out my journal and processed things a bit more while we drove there, and I also had another phone call with Bob. But this entry is already too long, so I'll save that for the next post.
 

Spring break adventure

 This last year has brought about a lot of unexpected changes for our family, including a very unexpected adventure we're about to embark upon for spring break. David, Mike and I are hopping in the car early tomorrow morning to make yet another drive up to Indiana. My second trip within this school year, Mike and David's third trip. But this time we're not going any further north than Columbus, IN. 

I still can't believe I'm actually saying this, but we're both looking at potential job opportunities. I never imagined myself ever leaving Texas unless it meant moving to another country, perhaps as a retired couple to work in ministry together. I love the near year round warm weather, or at least the very short winter months mixed with plenty of sunshine and random 70 degree weather days. My sister-in-law, Chrissy, has jokingly tried to get us to move up there for years, and I always laughed her off. Nice place to visit and catch up, but I had no intention of ever moving there.

Even in October when Mike began feeling drawn back after seeing how much help his mom needed in caring for his dad and he asked me to pray about the possibility of moving closer to her, I put my foot down. No. I had a good, secure job working with bilingual children and families from all over Central America. We've been here for almost 19 years, are part of an absolutely amazing church, and our boys are here, not yet launched from the nest. Our house is almost paid off, and we've almost reached our goal of being debt free AND getting the youngest through college. A move up North, a financial security risk, and an interruption to our timeline was NOT on my agenda. Plus, my brother and I moved our parents down here just four years ago to be closer to both of us. How could I turn around and leave? What would that do to them? Just the thought of it made me feel like a traitor to my side of the family. 

But I heard myself loud and clear, and I realized that our marriage is not all about ME and MY agenda or MY timeline. In fact, Mike moved here almost 19 years ago, no questions asked, for me and an opportunity that God opened for me to become a certified bilingual teacher. That move wasn't on anyone's radar, either, but when you see God provide you an opportunity to do something you couldn't have made happen on your own, you take it. 

So I agreed to pray about it, and little did I know, Mike was praying that God would draw me to Indiana on my own if it truly is His will. 

Mike's dad unexpectedly passed away, and Mike and David flew to Indiana on Christmas Day to be with his mom for a surgery, with the plan for Juan and I to follow a week later on New Year's for the funeral. Well, Juan and I didn't make it due to COVID, and Mike's three week planned absence seemed to drag on. My sister-in-law, Chrissy, and I stayed in touch texting and talking quite a bit regarding how our husbands were doing up at their mom's house and how we were doing without them. We had connected on a pretty deep level when we went up in October, and now we also started doing a chronological read through the Bible together, so God was obviously drawing us closer together than we had ever been before. 

On January 6, she texted me about meeting a stranger at the public library and finding out about the Christian children's home  (New Song Mission) they worked at. In their conversation, the stranger just happened to mention that they lost their licensed teacher and were looking for a new one. She immediately thought of me, called them, and got more information on the position. The next morning, she e-mailed it to me. 

At first, I just shrugged it off. It would be a pretty big drop in my pay (though Mike could have potential to make quite a bit more than he does here), so I wasn't interested. Definitely not with a son in college. Two weeks passed, and I realized I should probably at least take the time to open the e-mail and check it out since she went through the trouble of calling and sending me the info. When I did, I couldn't deny that I am very uniquely qualified for the position. Between my degree and experience in ministry, 19 years of experience as a teacher working with at-risk kids, and my personal experience with older child adoption and working with kids from hard backgrounds. As I read more about the organization, I realized that it sounded very much like a missionary teacher, and rather than having to raise support, they would actually pay me. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps this is something God has been preparing and equipping me for. 

Then I thought about how I was already feeling more than ready to leave public school and find a ministry-related job. In fact, I had even made that comment to a fellow teacher who just found out I had a degree in Christian ministries, not in education, and I said, "yeah, and I'm really feeling the need to get back into that area rather than continue to stay in public school." I had also made the comment to two other teacher friends that I didn't know if I wanted to stay in the classroom for another ten years until I can retire. Funny, I'd been perfectly happy in the classroom up until COVID happened. But last year killed my joy and the stress debilitated me. I hoped this year would be better now that we weren't trying to teach students online and in person at the same time, but the strong push for academic remediation over mental health just isn't ethical anymore. I know that if I have an opportunity to do something else, I need to take it--for my own physical and mental health. 

So, I sent an e-mail to the school/children's home director with a little information about myself and just asked if this position will even still be open next fall. The guy responded right away and told me he hoped to have several candidates by March. He asked if I had a chance to talk during the school day between 10:15-2:15. Well, I'm a teacher. Of course I didn't have time. And even when I do have a break during the day, I usually need every second of it and more to get what I need to get done. But guess what? We conveniently had an ice storm predicted, so they canceled school ahead of time. So I guess I did have time to talk during the school day, after all. 

The phone call went well, and they said they'd like to start the interview process with me if I was committed to move to Indiana. I said I'd need a couple weeks to pray about it and talk with a few friends and mentors. I shared with ONE friend and asked her to pray with me about it. I shared with a few other people that I was considering a career change and could use prayers for wisdom. As I took some time to really pray about it myself, God led me to two different verses. The first one was from Psalm 23, from a prayer that I pray every single day. "I need rest in green pastures and refreshment from still waters. Lead me there and I will follow." New Song is located on 100 acres of scenic land, specifically with green pastures and still waters. Hmmm. Then I turned the page in another prayer book I had, and there was the verse, "Psalm 40:3--He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord." I must admit, the pull feels pretty strong. 

I waited until I could seek wise counsel, and then I decided to set up an interview. However, I had parent conferences going on at school, so I could NOT take time out of my day or even take time off. They could not do an interview during the evening hours, either. But guess what? We had another ice storm and canceled school again. So exactly two Thursdays after the last phone call, I had a zoom interview (the first of three). Things went really well and seemed very encouraging on both sides. We decided we'd set up the next interview over my spring break. 

Mike and I decided that we wouldn't feel confident about anything unless we could see the school and the property and meet the staff in person, so we planned a very quick trip up there during spring break to do just that. Tomorrow we will drive up there, and Thursday morning we will join them for chapel as they start out a normal day at New Song Mission, and then we will spend an hour or so talking more with the director and his wife after that. 

I'm excited to see how God keeps leading, but I will admit it terrifies me at the same time. I felt like a traitor breaking the news to my family here in Texas, but I feel so selfish when I think about Mike's side of the family and how much they would love for us to be close to them again. He'll never get the last 19 years back that he lived so far from and out of touch with his dad, but he can recover some of that loss still with his mom, brothers, and nieces and nephews. I am excited about a possibility of growing closer with Chrissy and diving into Bible study together, but I would also grieve the loss of my church and Bible study friends here that I've grown so close to over the years. I am excited about the possibility of working in a Christian environment and being able to teach with Christ at the center of everything, but I would miss working with bilingual children from so many different countries every year.  I am excited about the chance to be surrounded by so much nature, an environment that makes me thrive, but I would miss the year round warmth that Texas gives. I am excited about the sense of newness and adventure that Mike and I would experience together, but I can't even imagine being so far from both of my boys. 

I can't say for sure what this Thursday will bring. I am hoping that it will give us all clarity of whether or not we're supposed to move forward. I will admit that I'm very torn, which is why I haven't shared much at all with anyone up until this point. I have spent a lot of time just praying and seeking wisdom and guidance. But it really seems like God just keeps on guiding in this direction and softening my heart to the idea.  The idea of moving has been on the table since October, but New Song Mission has only been part of the puzzle since the first week of January, so it's been on my heart and mind for almost exactly two months. So, it may seem like it's out of the blue, but I'm hoping this blog helps explain how it all came about. If New Song is not the place for me, then I still have a husband with an opportunity that I can't ignore. So I still need all the prayers for wisdom I can get.