C.L. Raven's Blog, page 9

Bay Watch

We didn’t get to our apartment until midnight. We rented it off a guy called Jeff through Airbnb. Much cheaper than hotels, it was in a great area and we had our own fridge and freezer. Friday morning was all about winging it. We figured the best plan was to find a tourist information centre and get a map. We knew where Alcatraz was and that was about it. We had our priorities sorted! Except we needed a map to find the tourist information centre! We decided that as the USS Hornet was near the same pier as the Exploratorium, we could visit them at the same time.

We caught a tram to the piers. Our first ever tram! We were excited. But if there was an award for Most Impatient Tram Driver, ours would’ve won. What is it with us getting on public transport of death wish drivers? He refused to go directly to the stops, instead beckoning people to come to him if he was stopped at lights, and beckoning passengers off before the stops and not letting them use the rear doors. He also used his horn a lot. Another driver who clearly hates his job. And San Francisco drivers are nuts. We’d considered hiring a car while we were there, but after seeing how everyone drove, there was no way in hell we were participating in the madness. Though apparently driving at pedestrians on designated crossings seems to be a national sport. “White man is on, arsehole!” was our most commonly used phrase. In the UK, the crossing man is green. So there were constant shouts of “green man! No, white man. Damn it!” Jaywalking is illegal in America, but most of the time it was actually safer to jaywalk when there were no cars around, as they would drive at you when you used the crossings at the legal times. We decided getting arrested wouldn’t result in our deaths, the way using the crossings would.

Groping Captain America at Ripley’s

We decided to look for somewhere to eat, but after walking for a while, we realised we were in the financial district. We’d passed some food vans, so Neen got food from there and we ate our crisps. Though we ended up queuing for ages in the sun for the food van, as it was very popular.

This took one man 40 years to make.

We made our way to the Exploratorium and went in. It was very much like Techniquest. We had a go on a few things but were conscious of the fact the USS Hornet closed at 4 and we didn’t get into the Exploratorium ‘til 1:30. We would need at least an hour to explore the haunted war ship. We hadn’t expected San Francisco to be as large as it was. It’s bigger than London, so most of our time would be spent travelling, which we hadn’t factored in. We left at 2:45 and headed to pier 3. The ship wasn’t there. So we returned to the Exploratorium and asked them for a map. We bought one for $6 and asked the staff about the Hornet. They thought it was on pier 45, so we caught a tram there. No Hornet. Turns out, it’s not even in San Francisco, like the internet claims. It’s across the bay.

Iron Twins at Ripley’s

We went into MacDonald’s to steal their Wi-Fi and ordered fries so we could stay. The heat in Vegas killed our appetites and we’d survived on 2 bowls of cereals, one bag of crisps and one shortbread biscuit, all day, for four days. It was cooler here so we figured we should probably eat. The fries were alright, but salty. This is the first time we’d ever eaten in a MacDonald’s. There was a horrifying moment when the cleaner mopped the floor in the unisex toilets (which stank worse than a politician’s election speech) then emerged and dragged that same mop across the restaurant floor. We suddenly regretted the fries, and our previous boycotting of MacDonald’s seemed even more reasonable. The Dungeons and Madame Tussauds are right by pier 45, so we decided to go there. We’d left our tickets in the apartment, as we’d planned to go there on Sunday, so we tried to find the tickets in our email. Our email didn’t go back far enough so Lynx checked the deleted folder then synched the messages to go back a month. Twenty minutes later, it still hadn’t synched. So we’d achieved bugger all.

cannibal jewellery

In the end we went to Ripley’s Believe it or Not Odditorium. It was on our list anyway and it was either that, or waste the entire day. We’d rather waste money than time. Money can be recuperated. It was really cool in there. And for once, the oddest things inside, weren’t us! They had models made out of car tires, car parts and matchsticks, as well as an actual shrunken torso and a video explaining how tribes do the shrunken heads, which was fascinating. Did the first person to do it think ‘you know what would be cool? Killing my enemy then shrinking his head and wearing it as a victory pendant?’ How did they work out how to do that? They didn’t have libraries and Google back then. Maybe we should start a collection from our worldly travels and open our own museum. Let’s see, we have the rocks from the Grand Canyon and…pin badges. Hey, it’s a start!

Shrunken head

Neen had found a ghost walk that started at 7 outside the Queen Anne Hotel, the San Francisco Ghost Walk. We left Ripley’s at 6:30 so jumped in a taxi. We wouldn’t have made it on a tram. We got there with fifteen minutes to spare and wandered into the hotel. It was freezing! We’d brought jumpers with us, but hadn’t bothered with our hoodies or jackets, as we didn’t know we’d be doing the ghost walk, or that it would be so cold. San Francisco is a lot like our summers, so it feels like home. Much better temperature than Vegas. We stayed in the hotel until the ghost walk started, so we’d have less time to freeze. We also interviewed one of the workers about the ghosts, but he hadn’t experienced anything. He hadn’t been working there long. Finding the newest member of staff and asking about ghosts is a real talent of ours. He knew someone who had experienced something though.

us with the world’s tallest man

The Queen Anne Hotel

The Queen Anne used to be a girls school, opened by Mary Lake, and she’s rumoured to haunt it, especially room 410. We were allowed to investigate the hotel before starting the ghost walk outside. Sadly room 410 was occupied. We didn’t think the guests would appreciate us bursting in with our cameras and conducting a vigil as they tried to enjoy their stay.

Inside the Queen Anne

Before we headed outside, the guide, Jim Fassbinder, asked the hotel if they had anything in the lost and found and got Neen a hoodie as he was worried how cold we would be. He then went to his car two blocks away and got a massive varsity jacket and silver anorak. Neen had the jacket, Cat the hoodie, Lynx the anorak. We started as the most stylish people on the walk and by the time we got outside, we should’ve been arrested by the fashion police. But we were warm and very grateful to Jim. How many guides would do that?

the haunted room

The walk was brilliant. Jim was very entertaining and funny. It’s one of the best walks we’ve been on. We walked around Pacific Heights, which is a nice, residential area and has a lot of haunted places, some of which were on our list, such as the house once owned by Mary Ellen Pleasance, the Voodoo Queen. It finished at ten then we stayed behind, as he wanted to tell us some stories about Alcatraz. He’s friends with some of the rangers there, so he was telling us the places to lose the tour. That’s the kind of advice we need! We walked back to our apartment. Once the wind had died down, it wasn’t too cold. So the evening wasn’t a waste, which made us feel better. And we had a plan for Saturday – the Winchester Mystery House.

 

We headed out to the Titanic exhibition in the Luxor hote...

We headed out to the Titanic exhibition in the Luxor hotel at 10:30. We were given passenger boarding cards of actual passengers then at the end, you got to see if you survived or not. We had the same one and Neen was our future daughter in law. We survived. Forgot to check Neen’s. She probably drowned. We’re excellent swimmers. We posed for photos – they had the bow of the boat so naturally we recreated the famous Titanic pose. It would’ve been rude not to. Insulting, even. Neen got up on the rails but our short dresses and fishnets wouldn’t allow for that. While our dignity filed for divorce years ago, we’re yet to participate in the ‘accidentally flashing your knickers at the camera’ craze that some people indulge in. The woman at the gate applauded us after the photo was taken. Do not many people do it? Such a waste! You can’t go to a Titanic exhibition and not do the pose! We also struck a pose on a replica staircase in first class.

The exhibition was brilliant. Everyone knows the story of the Titanic, but to actually see the pieces they recovered was incredible. And to read the stories of the passengers, who they were, why they were there. It’s sad some people were only on the ship because the coal strike meant the ships they’d been booked on, couldn’t sail, so they were upgraded to the Titanic. And they died. One man was due to board with his friend, but was shanghaied. It’s probably the only time being shanghaied was the better option. His friend didn’t survive.  It’s amazing to think that delicate items such as glass or dining sets survived. As well as a lot of passenger’s belongings, like razor blade wrappers! You drop plates on the floor, they smash, but they survived sinking to the bottom of the ocean. There was a large piece of the ship as well, imaginatively named The Big Piece.  The gift shop sold replicas dining sets from the first, second and third classes, which we thought was cool.

We then boarded a tram to Mandalay Bay to go to the shark reef. We’ve always had an obsession with sharks and recently discovered our love for terrible shark films. We always cheer when people get eaten. But we’ve never seen a shark in real life. Our ambition is to swim with them. We first visited the sea monsters museum, where they had specimens of different sea life. It was like the Bodies exhibition but with sea creatures. Though we fail to see how an Emperor penguin is any way monstrous. Then we came out of there and got a bit lost looking for the shark reef so had to ask for directions.

There weren’t just sharks there. We felt really sorry for the crocodile – he was in a small tank and looked so depressed. He didn’t really have enough room to swim around in. There were sharks, fish, rays, jellyfish, an octopus and even sea turtles! It was fantastic being so close to them. There were also piranhas, but sadly they weren’t the man-eating kind. Apparently, they prefer beef and chicken.

not a man-eating piranha

Horror films have lied to us. The sharks all had lots of space, so they could’ve given the crocodile more space. Or at least fed it a child to cheer it up.It was amazing seeing sharks up close. We wanted to dive in the tanks with them. We can swim around, looking threatening. Unfortunately, as sharks never stop moving, it was impossible to get non blurry photos of them. We couldn’t spend as long in there as we would’ve like as we had a plane to catch!

We time to do some quick gambling, so we had a go at computerised roulette and Black Jack. Lynx won $2 on Black Jack! :D The cashier’s probably never been asked to cash an amount that small, but a win’s a win! We were determined to do some gambling before leaving Vegas but we just didn’t have time before. It would’ve been criminal not to gamble at least once. A waitress took our order – drinks are free when you’re gambling – so we had to wait for her to return after our measly $3 bet was up, so we kept pressing buttons, acting like we were Roulette champions. We had no idea what we were doing and had to read the rules.

It was then time to head for the airport. There was still so much we wanted to do in Vegas! McCarron Airport was very confusing. It said to go upstairs for check-in then sent us back downstairs. We checked in no problem – screw you, Gatwick! Then had to board a tram to take us to our gate. We had enough time to type up what we’ve done so far. Our flight for San Francisco was leaving at 5 p.m. We honestly hadn’t expected to enjoy Las Vegas – when we thought of places in America we wanted to visit, Vegas was never included, but we were so wrong. We loved every minute. The people were lovely, there was so much to see and do. We weren’t there long enough! We only did 10 minutes of gambling and we never got to use the pool. It closed at 6 and we were always busy in the day. We hoped San Francisco wouldn’t be a let down, as that was the one we were excited about. Normally the things we get excited about don’t live up to our expectations and the things we’re not bothered about, tend to be amazing. Roll on Alcatraz!

Ghost Adventures

Trawling haunted hotels and randomly meeting the Ghost Adventures Crew. And to think, we had nothing planned!

Neen was at her brother’s wedding all day so we video called our family first thing. The time zone difference and our lack of available WiFi meant we hardly had any contact with them. Apparently Facebook was really quiet without us! We were surprised we make that much of a difference. The animal army ignored us, except our iguana, Kyler, who nodded at us. Our sister’s dog, Axel, launched a lick attack on her when we said hello. We like to think he was passing kisses on.

We hadn’t planned what we would do while Neen was at the wedding, but we didn’t want to waste the day, so we hopped on the bus and decided to tour the haunted hotels. That should keep us out of mischief for a bit. We’d done a lot of research before travelling, and as our main aim in America was to ghost hunt, we figured we should probably start. We started in Bally’s, which was super posh. It’s built on the site of the former MGM Grand, which nearly burned down in November 1980. 650 people were injured and 85 people died, mostly from smoke inhalation from being trapped on the stairwells, or they died in their sleep. The tower where people died is still part of the hotel and people have seen a group of ghosts together. Staff have witnessed them in the staff restrooms and corridors. We found in these hotels that acting like we were supposed to be there meant no one stopped us, even when we rode lifts up to the guest floors.

corridor in Bally’s

Except when we walked straight past security into a private area. This is always our undoing. We’re incapable of blending in. They told us it was a private area, so for once, we were quick thinking, wandered over to a map on the wall and said we were getting our bearings. They soon got distracted by us being twins, so it was good and we weren’t escorted out. We took the lift to the guest rooms. There just happened to be a conference on on the floor we were. We clearly were not dressed for a conference and hadn’t had time to make fake badges. Sam and Dean would’ve had them pre-made, but we hate advance planning. The corridors reminded us a bit of the corridor in the final level of Streets of Rage.

inside Paris hotel

We half expected to fight our way through floating tables and an endless stream of bad guys. We snuck into a ballroom to do our info piece, before wandering the shopping centre below. The lady in the sweet shop, Lick, had four month old twin boys so we spent a long time talking to her. We bought a pack of Fun Dip, because one of the Card Against Humanity cards is ‘stuffing a child’s face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun’. Then an Italian worker outside a shop asked us to marry him and wanted a photo with us to show his mum. We’ve managed to go thirty two years without a marriage proposal, but get one within days of being in Las Vegas.

Paris hotel

Our next stop was Paris. We hadn’t intended to go there but ended up through Bally’s. Paris was lovely. It had streets and houses. We then went to the Flamingo, which is haunted by Bugsy Siegal, a gangster who built it in 1946, only to be murdered six months later by his investors. He’s been seen on the fifth floor and Presidential Suite. We went up to the top floor and found a tropical garden area below. We saw ducky birds! We then went down to the fifth floor, doing some calling out as we wandered, trying not to appear too crazy to the cleaners. We got a closer look at the garden. They have flamingos! All thoughts of ghost hunting fled. We’d never seen flamingos in real life. We made our way out to the pool area. There were flamingos, ducks, a black swan, a pelican and enormous fish. Bugsy apparently also haunts the pool area and wedding chapel, which are supposedly built on the site of his old apartment, where he was shot. He’s been seen hundreds of times in the Flamingo. Maybe there’s good room service. We didn’t think we’d be allowed in the chapel, but nobody stopped us. Again, we used the ‘act like we’re supposed to be here’ ruse. They looked at us as we approached the pool, so we made a swift u-turn. Taking cameras to a pool area probably wasn’t wise.

Caesar’ s Palace

The next hotel was Caesar’s Palace. That one’s huge but lovely. It’s made to look like Rome in some areas. It was so posh, we couldn’t afford to breathe there. The shops were all expensive boutiques. There was a statue show about Atlantis which was cool and there were large statues everywhere, one was a replica of Michelangelo’s David. The toilets are apparently haunted  – well, the sensor taps turn on and off and if you put your hands under one already running, it switches off. We have enough problems trying to get sensor taps to work! We don’t think sensor taps turning on and off is in any way paranormal.

that awkward moment when you stumble across a naked man

But we’re professionals and it needed investigating. Nothing happened and we were there a while. Yes, we filmed in the toilets. We had to wait a long time for women to leave then a cleaner noticed we were twins and started talking to us. Sometimes, sticking out can really hamper your surreptitious activities! One guest took an abnormally long time to leave. Think she was on to us, but we refused to break first. Hey, looking suspicious in toilets is an art form! After her epic time at the sinks and mirror, she then moved on to a side room with mirrors and stools. Seriously, how can you spend that long at a mirror? Don’t you have things to do? We’re trying to film in here and with you around, we just look like perverts!

We went up a walkway and ended up in the Bellagio. That’s not haunted, but the hotel that used to be there, Dunes, was. Before it closed in 1993, people would experience cold spots in the tower and casino. After hours on the top floor, there would be a blue glow and people would hear voices. October 23rd 1993, Dunes imploded. The Bellagio was also really posh. We got the bus back to the Tropicana to look for a vegan ice cream place. Couldn’t find it. There wasn’t much to see in the Tropicana – it didn’t have a shopping area like the others, just stalls in a corridor. We tried to find a Tiki mask, which apparently gives you a purple rash if you touch it, but we couldn’t find it. We couldn’t get on any of the hotels’ Wi-Fi so we returned to the Excalibur. A guy who stands on the walkway wanted a photo with us. We made friends with his American Bulldog, Beau, who was gorgeous. He also wanted to marry us. The guy, not the dog. It’s really weird! In the UK, guys shout abuse at us, usually “freaks!” In USA, they want to marry us. But we don’t believe in marriage so turned them down. Though we wanted to keep Beau…

flamingos at the Flamingo

When we were back in our room, we Google mapped the ice cream place. Turns out, it’s off Tropicana Avenue, not the hotel. And it’s quite far away. We got back at 3:30. Neen came back at 5ish. Our Facebook friend, Samantha, had tagged us in Aaron Goodwin’s Instagram photo yesterday – the Ghost Adventures Crew were going to be outside the Riviera hotel at 6 p.m. before starting their investigation there! We had to go. This would be the only time we would ever be in the same city as them. But we were trying to check into our flight for Thursday and Neen was getting ready so we didn’t get to the bus stop ‘til 5:54. Then the bus took forever and people took ages boarding so we didn’t get to the Riveria ‘til 6:20. That was a stressful ride! The only chance we would ever have to meet Ghost Adventures, and we were late. We had to stop ourselves barging the bus driver aside and taking the wheel. But our Travel Insurance still didn’t cover bus hijacking.

Us and Zak

We thought we’d miss them, but Zak was just finishing talking to the cameras. He then got mobbed for photos. He kept saying he had to go, so we didn’t think we manage to get a photo. Girls were jumping in by him and snapping selfies and each time we got close, another one would jump in as they all shouted his name. He was starting to look a bit stressed. We’re so short, the other girls all towered above us and were pushing in.

us and Billy

Eventually we got close so Cat tapped him on the shoulder and asked if we could have a photo with him. We were actually the ONLY people who asked permission to have a photo with him. A woman then jumped in for a photo. Cat looked back at Lynx, like “this ain’t happening.” Especially when the woman then pushed her kid in by him for a photo. We’d resigned ourselves then that we weren’t going to get a photo and just watched. Then Zak grabbed Cat round the waist and pulled her in for the photo, so she grabbed Lynx. We were actually the only ones Zak put his arms around. It obviously pays to be polite.

us and Jay

Lynx then spotted Billy so we went over to him. He was talking to a man, then when they finished, we asked if we could have a photo with him. He was lovely and chatted to us for a bit. We told him we were going to there to ghost hunt and would be going to Alcatraz. We also got an autograph off him. On the notepad we stole from the Excalibur. Hey, we’re writers. We don’t steal things like shampoo and bathrobes, we steal stationery. We then got a photo and autograph with Jay. After telling him where we were from, we just stood there awkwardly, not saying anything. Yep, our one chance to meet the guys and we completely froze. Great first impression!

us and Aaron

Lynx then spotted Aaron so we mobbed him for a photo and autograph. He was pulling faces with everyone else, but when it came to us, someone was talking to him, so we were pulling faces, but he wasn’t. Way to make us look like the crazy ones. We tried to get an autograph from Zak but he was being mobbed so we didn’t get a chance. We were so excited afterwards. “Fangirls,” Neen called us. We tagged the guys in our photos and Billy messaged us at 3 a.m. – which must have during their investigation! :D We apologised for being awkward and not really speaking and said it was great to meet him. He said it was great to meet us and that he thought we were awesome! :D So next time some twatbandit shouts abuse at us, we can retort with “Yeah well, Billy thinks we’re awesome!”

We headed across to Treasure Island to get another strawberry Dakari. The guy who served us was so rude. He refused to take all the change and insisted on having a quarter instead. We didn’t tip him. Rudeness shouldn’t be rewarded. He was damn lucky we didn’t throw the drink at him. But we hate wasting money. We got the bus back then Neen went to our room while we went up to the Dragon’s Lair shop and bought a skull dagger. Hopefully customs won’t take it off us, but considering how much trouble we had trying to get Cranberry and Raspberry on the plane, this may turn ugly.

Pirates by night

We saw dead people

dolphin at The Mirage

The day started annoyingly when we went to meet Neen, who was having breakfast with her parents, thinking they were in the MGM Grand. They weren’t. And we’d forgotten stuff from our room so had to return to the Excalibur. Except it’s illegal to cross the streets on the Strip – you have to use the walkways, or further down, crossings. We find this really weird. And frustrating! Especially as the walkways are all up high, which involves a lot of stairs. Or escalators if we were feeling lazy. By the time we got to the Hard Rock Café, we were hot and tired. A guy said “I think you dropped something.” We looked back. Him “your smile.” Cat “Well I’m not picking that up.” He’s lucky we didn’t drop him with a kick to the balls.

We headed out to get a bus. A guy who worked in a ticket stand next to the bus stop wanted a photo with us. We really should start charging. We got the bus to Circus Circus and wandered around there for a while. Fortunately, it’s not circus themed on the inside. We half expected the place to be filled with clowns and readied ourselves to kick them in the juggling balls. A security guard devil horned us as he passed. We failed to find the haunted room, as they appear to have renamed them. We got the bus to Treasure Island for a look around. The heat coming off the wooden boardwalk was immense! We could feel our toes burning in our boots. Vegas heat is weird in that it’s not like British heat, which is the blazing sun (when it bothers to show up), but more like standing under a heater.

Us outside Treasure Island

Treasure Island at night

Treasure Island had the coolest gift shop. Inside wasn’t very pirate. Most of the hotels only seem themed on the outside. New York New York has some fake streets and the Venetian has the canal with streets. We stopped at a bar on route to the Mirage and the bartender said he’d been to Alcatraz about 25 years ago and told us haunted places in San Francisco to check out. His cousin and his wife have a ghost hunting show on YouTube. He was bored. We told him to leave the bar in our capable hands while he went for a wander. He reckoned his boss wouldn’t be too pleased. It would’ve been fine! Neen’s done bartending before. And things never go wrong when we’re around…

Lynx and Neen on the tram

Cat on the tram

We got on the tram, which is a monorail, to the Mirage. They have dolphins! And lions and tigers. We went into the Siegfried and Roy secret garden. There were about eight dolphins in three different pools. They looked so cute playing with balls then they did a training session with four females. Two of them jumped out of the water. They’re not performing dolphins, but they are taught a few tricks. The dolphins were born there in the research centre. It was so hot there, we had to stop ourselves from jumping in with the dolphins. We can do tricks with balls too! And we’d enjoy splashing tourists. There were four tiger cubs that were so adorable. They were asleep when we first got there and there was a guy sitting in the room with them. He has the best job ever. We had to restrain ourselves from dragging him out by the ankles and taking over his role. This could’ve been our only chance to tickle tiger tummies. Then they woke with a vengeance and were gnawing on another guy that was trying to feed them. There were two lionesses, a black leopard, a white and normal tiger, two lions and a leopard. We felt sorry for the leopard – it was in a smaller pen and was pacing, which is a sign of boredom and being in captivity for too long.

We got another bus ticket and returned to the Excalibur for a quick freshen up before heading out to the Luxor. We were going to do the Bodies exhibition and the Titanic artefacts exhibition at the same time, but Neen was going out with her brother and dad for her brother’s stag do, so we only had time to do the Bodies exhibition. A guy stopped us and offered us a free massage in one of these machines they have. ‘Cos that’s not at all creepy. There’s only one way to combat creepiness – be even creepier! Us “No thanks, we’re going to look at corpses.” We know how to charm people! The Bodies exhibition was incredible. They have skeletons, and bodies showing the muscles, or organs, some showing the nerves. They were donated by executed prisoners. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take photos. There were also dissected bits on slides, organs, bones, and organs showing the veins and arteries. They even had foetuses in different stages of bone development, which was fascinating. They gave you the option of bypassing the exhibition with the foetuses, which was very sensitive of them. It’s well worth a visit. They had the knee meniscus (cartilage) and said tearing it could cause debilitating pain. This is what Cat did (thought hers ripped right off. Her knee is affectionately named Linus), so it was cool to see what Linus looked like before her cartilage got removed. Linus was wearing an ice patch due to all the walking and spasmed slightly in sympathy for the meniscus in the glass case. Lynx’s left knee decided to click its way all around the exhibition. It hadn’t clicked before entering the exhibition and stopped clicking afterwards. Obviously the quiet of the exhibition reminded it of when we do EVPs and it wanted to contribute.

Neen headed out for seven p.m. but we were knackered to decided to stay in and catch up on our blog entries. Yep, our laptop joined us in America so we wouldn’t have to remember everything from our time there, we could write it up daily.

It’s really weird, so many people compliment us. Almost every shop worker we encounter loves our look, and people keep taking photos of us. Not like in the UK, where we just get abused. We’re not used to being popular.

Inside the Luxor

Airwolves

There was only one thing worth getting out of bed at 6:20 a.m. for – our helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon with Papillon. The bus was picking us up at 8 and we needed the time to get ready. Unlike some people, we don’t jump out of bed, picture perfect, ready to start our day. We groan, slump out and wander like zombies. Do you know how long it takes to turn zombies into passable humans through the power of makeup? 20 minutes. We’re not big on makeup and get bored easily.

Hoover Dam

We’re pretty sure the tickets mentioned a limo pick up. Considering the only limo we’ve ever been in is a funeral one, we were excited, imagining this was how film stars lived. The black bus that turned up was certainly not a limo. No spacious leg room and mini fridge for us then. The bus driver seemed really beaten down by life and almost killed us several times on the way. It was like she was determined to end it all and take us all with her! And several other guests went missing, leading to us spending a long time driving around the strip and blocking hotel entrances. We’d been excited about the Grand Canyon for most of the year. No way in hell were we planning to end our morning flattened in a bus. If Sandra Bullock could take the wheel in Speed, so we could we. Luckily we didn’t have to. Our Travel Insurance didn’t cover bus hijacking.

The greeter at the airport not only knew where Wales was, but had just come back from visiting Swansea and Cardiff! A lot of people in America thought we were English. We mentioned Wales and got blank stares. We had to explain it’s next door to England but is not in fact, England. So finding out this guy even knew our cities was a proud moment. Then over the tannoy they announced our names for the flight and added “from England.” A frustrated cry of “Wales!” echoed around the gift shop. *Grinds teeth* There are FOUR countries in the UK. FOUR. We shared the helicopter with three French guys. We sadly did not get to sit in the front, which would’ve made for amazing views. The helicopter ride was fantastic. First time we’ve ever been in one. And we didn’t play the Airwolf theme! Very disappointed in ourselves for that. Lynx only felt sick once on the way and a couple of times on the way back but Cat pocketed a sick bag just in case. The views were stunning and it’s so weird seeing such straight roads! It’s like they’re trying to defy nature. We landed in the Grand Canyon’s Western Rim with three or four other helicopters. It was incredible. We took a couple of rocks as souvenirs. Actual pieces of the Grand Canyon are way better than touristy mugs and keyrings. Though if the canyon collapses now, we apologise. We had a picnic in a shelter. They provided a small tub of Pringles and a packet of apple slices so we were able to eat something. We even drank some water! Check us out, trying new things. Most people just stayed under the shelter with the picnic, but we went exploring and gently hugged a cactus. The half hour went way too quickly. Photos don’t do the scale of it justice. Still can’t believe we were there.

After a quick stop at our hotel to freshen up, we decided to go to Fremont Street. As we were heading for the bus stop, there were street artists dressed up. One was a Transformer, one was some kind of robot and there was another one. The robot guy wanted a high five from us then the three of them asked us for a photo. We declined, because you have to pay them, then one even said he’d waive his tip for a photo! :D Normally it’s tourists wanting photos with street performers, not the other way around! We got a 24 hour bus ticket and headed for Fremont Street.

canal in the Venetian

Except we’re easily distracted and spotted the Venetian hotel with its gondolas. So we jumped off the bus and booked a gondola ride through the hotel. The inside is amazing, they’ve recreated St Mark’s Square in Venice, complete with canals. Yes, there is a canal inside the hotel.

us and Caj

While we were waiting, a Russian tourist asked if he could take a photo of us. Our gondolier, Caj was brilliant. He was funny and even sang the Cornetto song when Neen asked. Every damn word. He sang the proper version then Mambo Italian while we danced. Nobody else appeared to be dancing in their gondolas. Caj kept blowing us kisses as we were leaving.

Neen and Caj

We got back on the bus then stopped at the Mob Museum. That was really cool. We know a little bit about the mob, but not a lot, so it was great to learn the history and put faces to infamous names. They had the actual wall where the gangsters were killed in the St Valentine’s Day Massacre. So naturally we posed by it, with Neen shooting Lynx, Lynx surrendering and Cat doing a death pose.

actual wall from the St Valentine’s Day massacre

Neen firing a Tommy gun

Sensitive as always. We got to have a go with a fake Tommy gun then there was an electric chair which moved. So we took turns getting electrocuted. Naturally we did the whole ‘juddering as electricity courses through our veins’ bit then slumped into a death pose. Some people who were watching thought we were actors that worked there and even applauded us! Nope, not actors, just tourists messing around :D We also fired a bulletless revolver in a training video and kept shooting suspects in the arse as they ran away. Take that, dirtbags. We had our photo taken in a police lineup. The lady there loved our look and even loved our accents. Really? We told her the Cardiff accent really isn’t popular back home. But is appears we sound exotic to Americans. Who’da thunk it?

Inside Vegenation

We headed to Fremont Street and joined it in the middle. We walked down to the end to find the vegan place in Container Park, which is a fenced off area with large shipping containers. Hence its name. The vegan place only served healthy stuff. This is a particular pet peeve of ours. You go to a vegan place and it’s all lentils, tofu (what the hell is tofu anyway?), kale chips, chickpeas, nuts and raw whatevers. People think this is what vegans eat. No! You know what we eat? Ice cream. Chocolate. Chips. Crisps. Sweets. Cake. We eat like normal people, just a vegan version of it. We’re vegan because we love animals, not because we want to eat like squirrels. So we wandered back to Fremont Street, but a different way and happened across a vegan restaurant, Vegenation. They served fries, which were actually large potato wedges sprinkled with paprika, and ice cream! We had vanilla and chocolate. Delicious! Chips and ice cream. It’s not that hard to keep us happy. Vegenation only opened in May. A good find! The greeter loved our hair so sat us near the door to attract customers :D

vegan ice cream at Vegenation

Fremont Street

We walked back through Fremont Street. As it was dark, it was all lit up, with people on a zip wire above us. This is what we imagined the Strip to look like. There were street performers everywhere. Some wearing hardly anything. Yet people were taking photos of us. We’re not the most interesting people in Vegas! They obviously don’t get many Goths or twins in Vegas. We were trying to find a bus back then saw one behind us. We ran about a block alongside it and just beat it to the bus stop. It amused the bus driver anyway.

Fremont Street at night

Viva Las Vegas!

we’re ready to go!

You know your first time of leaving the UK is off to a bad start when you have an argument with airport security over Cranberry and Raspberry squash.

we took our own food

We travelled down on the Saturday night by coach to Gatwick. Our flight was leaving from Gatwick but returning to Heathrow, which caused a bit of a headache and in the end, we decided a coach was our best option. We managed to watch the Wales v England game on the way down with patchy 3G. We were gutted when we found out we were travelling down on game night. But Wales won so our holiday got off to a great start. But that wouldn’t last long. We stayed in Gatwick central Travelodge over night. We were only 10 minutes from the airport.

view from our plane

Then it started to go a bit wrong. The boarding passes we printed at home wouldn’t scan but they checked our passports and let us through. Our big case was too big to go with the other luggage and had to go in a different area. It was dead on its 23kg weight limit. Then at security, Cat set off the bleepers and had to go into a body scanner and stand on the footprints, which were too wide for her and raise her arms above her head. That that didn’t look at all inappropriate. The footprints were shoulder width for most people. We’re pixie people. Lynx didn’t set them off, even though we were wearing practically the same.

Colorado river

Then they seized Cat’s tray and the guy told her she couldn’t take her bottles of Cranberry and Raspberry on. 5 bottles, in a clear plastic case, that had an aeroplane on with a tick, showing they were suitable. Lynx didn’t get stopped for the bottles, even though we had the same set. Guy “What size are they?” Cat “100 mil.” That’s the allowance. Guy “They’re not marked. You can’t take them on.” Cat “They’re 100 ml.” Him “Can you prove it?” Cat “No, I don’t have my eBay receipt.”

our massive Virgin Airlines plane

Yeah we know, being a smartarse in the airport was never going to win us any favours. He took out her bottle of foundation, which was also unmarked and said she could have that, but not the other bottles. There was no way she was losing them, after we’ve paid for them. Cat “What do I do?” Him *shrugs* “You can’t take them.” Cat “Well shall I go and find an empty bottle and empty them into it?” Him “If that’s what you want to do.” Then took her passport, boarding pass and the bottles. She dumped her stuff with Neen and Lynx and went to ask him where she should go. He walked off. So she followed him. When she caught him up, she asked where to go. He wanted her to follow him. Then tell her that! He took her back to the boarding gate and left her there. After a while, Neen went and asked him where Cat was. He shrugged. Neen “Cathryn Davies, goth girl. Where did she go?”

biggest plane we’ve been on!

Him “I left her at the gate.” Neen “Where is she now?” Him “That’s up to her.” Neen “Will she come back up this way?” Guy “I would advise her to.” Really helpful. By now, Neen and Lynx were panicking that we’d miss our flight and we had no way to contact each other. Cat had to find her way back down to the newsagents. After queuing for ages, they didn’t sell empty bottles. She found her way back upstairs and went to another newsagents. The lady there was really surprised they wouldn’t allow the bottles. Cat went back to the boarding gate and told the lady there. She was also surprised and asked which side she went to. Cat said right, so the lady said to use the left. So she did, put them in the tray and guess what? They allowed them! That other guy was clearly a wankenstein.

plane selfie!

We boarded really quickly. But 11 hours is a long flight! We watched a documentary called Life After Manson, about Patricia Krenwell from the Manson family; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Poltergeist and Terminator: Genysis. We also played Dobble and dice Carcassonne. In Dobble, you have cards with loads of pictures on and you have to match one to one of the pictures on the previous cards. One of the pictures is a bomb. Only after slapping her card down, did Cat realise calling out “bomb!” on an aeroplane probably isn’t the best thing. Then Neen’s Carcassonne dice catapulted across the aisle, landing beneath another passenger’s feet, so Cat had to retrieve them. Lynx got really sick on the landing ‘cos there was so much turbulence. There was a lot during the flight but it got really bad as we descended and Lynx has always been travel sick. Neen’s nickname for her when we travel is Sicky McSickpants.

Lynx & Neen on the bus to Vegas!

Cat on the bus

Cat soaked a tissue and put it on her neck as she got pins and needles in her hands and feet. As soon as people started clearing the plane, Neen and Cat sent her off while they grabbed the stuff. There were no sickbags on board. At customs, Lynx got quizzed about her trip, whereas the guy Cat went to didn’t speak to her. He wanted to know what Lynx planned to do, what her job was, how much money she brought, where she got her customs form, who was that person loitering nearby (Neen). At baggage collection, Cat nearly took out 2 guys with her heroic dive for the big case, then couldn’t get it off, so a guy helped her.

Viva Las Vegas

Had to queue for ages to another customs thing, then Neen had to go to a different area cos she had alcohol and they made her empty her bags while we were waiting at the exit for like 20 minutes. The woman took one look at the small bottle of vodka Neen had and laughed.

The Excalibur

Walking out of the airport into the Las Vegas heat was immense. It’s like standing below heaters set to their highest temperature. We couldn’t breathe. We got a bus to the strip. It was only $2 each. The Excalibur was huge! Though the air con smelled in our room. We hung out in our room for a bit then wandered the hotel. There’s a couple of outdoor pools and loads and loads of slot machines, arcades etc. Seriously, the entire downstairs was filled with them and there were arcade games in the ‘fun dungeon’ below. We were all too tired to really do anything. Asked about a fridge for our soya milk – they could send one to the room for $28 a night. No way. The guy suggested we get some ice from the machine and fill a container. So we did. That’ll do. Got back to our room about 6:45 pm. Went to bed at 8:30. Living the rock and roll lifestyle in Las Vegas!

Cover Story

Do you ever get the feeling that something is cursed and the universe is telling you that going ahead with it will lead to your ultimate destruction? But you continue anyway in the vain hope when the day comes, the universe gets distracted by something shiny on the ground? In our case, that ‘something’ is The Malignant Dead. We get the feeling Fate doesn’t want us to release it. We don’t know why – we agreed not to release the stories of that time we caught her- anyhoo, we had the cover, it looked stunning and we sent off a press release with it and bought promo material. Createspace sent us a proof copy. It was too dark. Most of the plague doctor can’t be seen. Lizzie lightened him and we adjusted the photo on the back cover. We sent off for another proof copy, this time paying extra for the fastest delivery.

It looked no different.

Bandit holding Cat’s hand through the Photoshop ordeal

There was only one thing for it: change the black background. We found a misty one on 123rf.com and thought it would be a simple case of swapping the black for the new background. It took us two friggin’ hours! For a start, we couldn’t just swap it – no, we had to resize it to match the covers and spine. Then it didn’t fit on the print template – it was too small. For the other one, we cheated and filled the background in black. We tried this, continuously having to delete and resize the misty background to fit, and you could clearly see the cover on top of the background. We obviously weren’t going to be able to cheat this time. So we had to resize the cover. Several times. We probably should’ve asked someone who doesn’t hate Photoshop to do this, but we are so pushed for time, we can’t ask someone to drop everything they’re doing for us. We finally beat Photoshop into submission and sent the cover off for review.

They rejected it.

So this morning, we adjusted it to make sure it’s in the damn bleed area and sent it for another review.

We know most writers when they have a book coming out/ newly released, are gushing over their new baby. We now hate this book with the passion of a thousand burning witches. Which is a shame because it’s been one of our favourites to work on and we’re sad that we can’t work on it anymore.

We have a problem – we don’t think we have time for another proof copy. We have to have the books for our launch on Halloween and if we get another proof, we risk the books not coming in time unless we pay for the fastest shipping, in which case we’ll have zero profits. They come from America, so take a while. And customs once seized Deadly Reflections so they took months to get to us after we had to beg them to release it and pay a fine. If customs seize The Malignant Dead, we have no book launch. If we don’t get another proof, we risk the book looking terrible. We need more time. But we’re going to America next week and time is something we don’t have. We’ve had book launches without books before – Bad Romance and Romance Is Dead didn’t go live until the evening – but they were virtual launches and it’s never mattered if we haven’t had the print books. But this is a book signing. We need the books. And we need them before we fly to Scotland on October 29th.

We’re not changing the ebook cover – that one is staying black. We like the black and if we change it, it means our promo material was a waste of money. And we hate wasting money almost as much as we hate wasting time. We are so stressed, we can feel the frustration knotting in our chests. And we had our last therapy session on Monday. This is a bad time to be cut off from the people who keep us sane. We’re supposed to be excited about our first trip outside the UK but we can’t even concentrate on that at the moment. We are almost ready to throw away our atheism, adopt an ancient god and sacrifice someone to him in the hope that this will end well.

But this is our book. And our books never have happy endings.

Here is the new version. You can pre-order the Kindle version here – Amazon UK  Amazon US  Smashwords

Night Watch

Last night was the opening night of Monstrous Productions‘ Night Watch in The Gate Arts Centre. This was their biggest production to date and the first time they’ve attempted one with the Watch and Sam Vimes. Having read it a few months ago when we knew which play would be next, we thought “How the hell will they do this on stage?” But they did. And they did it brilliantly. Having been part of the cast for their last play, Witches Abroad (we played the creepy Snake Twins), we know just how much effort and hard work goes in to each of these productions.

Night Watch tells the story of Sam Vimes, Commander of the Night Watch. After grappling with murderer Carcer, both fall from the roof of the Unseen University and end up back in time. Except Sam becomes his old mentor, John Keel and ends up mentoring his younger self amidst rebellion, riots and Carcer becoming a police officer. The complicated time travel was helpfully explained by Lu-Tze, a history monk, played by Howard Dickens. Craig Harper was great as young Sam Vimes. He played Mort in, well, Mort, so it was good to see him back in a leading role. He did well to capture how young Sam is in the book – nervy, eager to impress and wanting to do the right thing. Jez Hynes was outstanding as older Sam Vimes/John Keel and the part where he recited his Night Watch contract, word perfect, with all the punctuation, got a well deserved applause. Tyron Sullivan was fantastic as the villainous Carcer. A lot of actors when playing villains, make them too hammy, but he successfully avoided that and made Carcer into the type of bad guy you want to hate, but can’t help liking, because he portrayed him so well. The way Heath Ledger was as the Joker. The scenes with Carcer and Vimes together were amazing. They were the perfect pairing. And full applause to their final fight scene. They completely threw themselves into it. We could easily believe it was actually Vimes and Carcer fighting in real life. It was thrilling, though we imagine Tyron must be a bit sore this morning!

All the fight scenes in the play were brilliantly choreographed and everybody involved in them, embraced them. You could hear the thuds to prove it. And once again, Monstrous Productions proved you don’t need a fancy set and hundreds of props to bring a production to life. It was great seeing some cast from Witches Abroad again and also new faces. In particular, Jamie Gibbs, from Geeks in Wales (he used to write the Mithril Wisdom blog), who played Ned Coates. Us and Jamie have been at all the plays, sometimes at the same time, and all reviewed them, but we’ve never met in person. After we got the part in Witches Abroad, we told him he had to audition for the next play. And he did. And he was awesome. So well done Jamie for going from reviewing the plays to acting in one.

We have to commend the cast’s singing too! We didn’t know they could sing! The song went from being a soldier’s slightly humorous song, to being haunting, to being touching, purely by the way they sang it.

The storyline didn’t allow for many female characters, but the few women who were in it were great. Zoe, Lowri, Isabelle and Katya returned from Witches Abroad to vastly different roles. Katya was especially impressive as Lady Roberta Meserole, capturing her elegant yet slightly sinister nature perfectly.

In keeping with Pratchett’s novels, the humour was brilliant too. Los Shanahan as Dr Lawn had some great, funny lines, and Matthew Hitchman as Fred Colon managed to make the audience laugh just by waving a flag. We laughed the whole time he had it.

If you’ve never seen one of their plays, go and see it. If you love Terry Pratchett, go and see it. If you’ve never heard of Terry Pratchett, go and see it. All proceeds go to Alzheimer’s Research and so far, they’ve raised over £12,000 from all their productions.

We’re already looking forwards to the next play in February (opening on our birthday) and Going Postal in August. We hope they will be able to perform every Discworld novel, but they’ll have to re-do Monstrous Regiment and Carpe Jugulum, because we missed those ones.

Cast

Sam Vimes/John Keel – Jez Hynes

Young Sam Vimes – Craig Harper

Carcer – Tyron Sullivan

Fred Colon – Matthew Hitchman

Nobby Nobbs – John Simpson

Snouty – Pete Belson

Lu-Tze – Howard Dickins

Ned Coates – Jamie Gibbs

Lady Roberta Meserole – Katya Moskvina

Havelock Vetinari – Harry Spencer

Dr Lawn – Loz Shanahan

Reg Shoe – Nick Dunn

Snapcase/Tilden – Stuart Moss

Dibler/Selachii – Matt Burnett

Lord Winder/various – Joshua Flynn

Captain Swing – Michael Dickinson

Mrs Rutherford/various – Sarah Pruett

Rust/Dr Follet – Terrance Edwards

Supple/Young Sybil – Sarah Burrow

Wiglet – John B. Dent

Captain Wrangle – Tony Beard

Sergeant Knock – Matthew Fisher

Major Mountjoy Standfast – Edward Duke

Slant/various – Ben Wilson

Sergeant Dickens – Matthew Edwards

Hepplewhite/various – Luke Belson

Dotsie/various – Zoe Azzopardi

Solider – Sam Steele

Sandra – Isabelle Burman

Leggie/Gabitass – Richard McReynolds

Various – Mikey Wickham

Rebel – Lowri Belson

Waddy – Dan Collins

 

 

 

 

Puppy Love

Bandit within an hour of coming home with us.

A year ago today, our lives changed. No, we weren’t hit by a bus. We adopted a 6 month old puppy named Harly.

7 years ago, we lost both our dogs, Bru and Jack (AKA The Boys) within 18 months of each other. They were our best friends and we swore we’d never get another dog. Not because we couldn’t love another one, but because we couldn’t lose another one. Their deaths devastated us and we couldn’t bear that again. Then after our sister, Sarah, lost her dog, she wanted another one to fill the hole Misty left behind. Our mum said as we would be looking after our sister’s dog while she’s at work, maybe we should get one so they could grow up together as they’d be spending all day together. We said no. We wanted a tortoise.

our boys. L-r Jack, Bru

Misty and Google

Sarah had visited all the rescue centres and we even went with her to Cardiff’s dog home. We hated it there. It was like a giant dog prison, with the cages only a foot away from the dogs opposite. Just perfect for the nervy dogs placed within spitting distance of the noisy ones. Though we fell in love with a massive Staffie called Rex. They told us we would have to bring our cats to them in a case to meet the dogs. There was no way in hell we were taking our old cats (aged 10-16) into a place full of barking dogs, where they would be trapped in a case, terrified. How stupid. Then Sarah heard of a litter of puppies that had been born at Crofts Kennels Rescue Centre in Bridgend. They were two weeks old. Their mum, a lab, was on her second litter and had been seized by the police. She was 18 months old. We went to Crofts with Sarah so she could meet the mum and decide if she wanted one of the puppies. We couldn’t say no to seeing puppies.

In the first pen was a sad looking lurcher pup. Next to him was a bouncy little Staffie. Sarah stopped by the lurcher’s cage and called us over. There something about him that made her stop. The pups were right down the other end. We couldn’t see them, but the mum, Kiki, was a small golden lab cross. We got talking to the guys at the centre and mum mentioned we were also thinking of getting a dog. We were still against the idea. Them “We’ll bring Harly to meet you.”

With his first toy we bought him.

Moments later, the skinny, sad looking lurcher pup that Sarah found, was brought in. You could see all his ribs. He’d only been there a week. They told us some people would phone up and ask them to take their dog and the centre would request an £80 re-homing fee. Then within a few days, people would show up with a ‘stray’ and the centre had to take them in. We wondered if this is what happened with Harly. He came straight over us, wagging his tail and acting like he’d known us forever. He sat down by our feet. We fussed him then crouched so he wouldn’t feel intimidated by us. He cwtched up to us and put his head on our shoulders. Them “think he’s going home with you. He’s £110.” We had exactly £110 in our wallets. Them “You can take him now if you want.”

And damn it, we did.

He was so skinny, he fitted into Misty’s harness. She was a Jack Russell cross, so she wasn’t exactly big. In two weeks, he outgrew two harnesses. When we first got him, he had a habit of eating slugs. Whether he did this for food before going into the kennels, we don’t know. But he no longer eats them.

That was a year ago today. They’d said “There’s a sheet here for if you to decide to bring him back.” Us “We’re not bringing him back. He’s ours now.” After 9 days, we renamed him Bandit, on account of his eye mask. And because our mum said a flat-out no to Van Helsing. We’ve since discovered, how unusual his reaction to us was. He’s actually really wary of strangers. He won’t approach them, hates it if they approach him and it’s taken him ages to let other dog walkers actually pat him. He’s especially wary of men. But when he met us, he put his head on our shoulders and acted like he’d known us his whole life.

When we got him home, we looked up lurchers online. We’d never owned one (we only ever had mongrels), had no idea what one was (greyhound/whippet crossed with collie/spaniel. Judging on Bandit’s appearance and personality, he’s whippet/springer spaniel – fast and crazy) and wanted to know what we’d let ourselves in for. Mostly, we wanted to know what he would’ve looked like as a baby. We’d only ever had dogs from small pups. Scamp was bought for £1 in the 70s, Max was found, Jack showed up on our doorstep one day and refused to leave and Bru was in a horse market. Online, advice was “don’t get a lurcher if you have small furry pets. Lurchers are hunters. They’re trained to kill small furry things.” Our house is filled with small furry pets. We suddenly felt a deep sense of “what the hell have we done? We’ve endangered the animal army by bringing a hunter into the house.” But there was no way we were taking him back. This had to work. Even if it meant he could never be alone with the cats,  we were not taking him back. Being in the animal army is like being in a gang – you only leave it when you die. We were given a bit of hope by finding forums on how to integrate lurchers with cats and people were posting photos of their lurchers cwtched up to the cats. Considering Warlock (whose previous owners used to set their dog on him) hated dogs, Ebony when first encountering anything just flees and Speccy tends to hiss at new things, we weren’t holding out much hope for this to work. To be fair, Speccy’s the second oldest pet and has been forced to take in countless little brothers.

Bandit and baby Axel

Bandit and Speccy

So Bandit was kept on a lead for four weeks. He spent his first week with us being made to sit outside by the rabbit pen until he got desensitised by the fluffy bunnies hopping around. Made worse by the fact Drogo bunny likes to tease the cats and teased our newcomer. Oh, and there’s Peking duck, who enjoys tormenting small furry creatures. This wasn’t going to be easy. There’s also the iguana and corn snake. It was a few months before he met them.

And Sarah did get one of those puppies. We talked her into it.

Bandit and fully grown Axel

Her partner’s only ever owned Jack Russells and doesn’t like big dogs. We practically strong armed them into getting the puppy, saying, “his mum was small, he won’t grow much bigger than her.” Turned out, dad was a Rottweiler. And a big one, judging by the fact that the puppy, Axel, at a year old, is the size of a small horse. Every time we saw him, he’d grown. He grew overnight, every night. And we laughed. They wanted a small dog, we talked them into getting a dog that is nearly big enough for us to ride. We still laugh about this. And Sarah’s now had to sell her Ford KA ‘cos Axel doesn’t fit into it. They still don’t see the funny side.

Bandit and Kyler

Ebony LOVES Bandit. He’s always there to greet him when he comes back from his walk. Speccy sometimes wants to cuddle with him, sometimes moans when he gets too close. But she does that to us. She cuddles on her terms. And he thinks her slapping him is her playing, because that’s how he plays. Warlock very quickly trained Bandit into obeying him. Bandit won’t leave the room if Warlock is in his path. And if Bandit’s being wild, Warlock will enter the room and sit down. Bandit will jump on the settee and behave. Warlock’s got this dog psychology thing cracked, just by being a bit of a psychopath. Our stray cat, Moussy, looked at him then went back to eating. He and Bandit had an instant respect thing going. And we can sit on the settee with both Bandit and a bunny. After a little while of introducing him to the iguana, Kyler, Bandit helps out at Ky’s bath times and will even put his nose on Ky’s face. He’s only met Charlie snake through the glass, but he’s fascinated. And though he chases squirrels, when he gets close, he stops and lets the squirrel get away. We were determined that the adoption would work out for all the animals. We had no other choice. And it paid off.

Bandit and Ebony

Bandit certainly lives up to his name. He’s a wanton thief. He cannot walk past something without picking it up. Shoes and gloves are a favourite. He once invaded some teenagers’ picnic, stole their rubbish, then when they got it back, stole their football in revenge. Axel once knocked Neen’s little girl over in excitement. Bandit stole the hat off her head and ran off round the park with it. He also mugs other dogs and trespasses farmer’s fields. He has a reputation as a troublemaker and we can no longer go to parks. He has 3 modes – hyper, naughty and sleeping. He’s also easily distracted, which makes training difficult because he can’t concentrate for long. Damn it, this dog is ours in every possible way.

A year ago, we had no idea we were about to meet our new best friend. There’s only one thing we’d change – we wish we’d got him sooner.

Happy adoption day, Puppydog!

The Malignant Dead cover reveal

*drum roll* We can finally reveal to you The Malignant Dead’s cover! *Tugs on curtain. Frowns as it gets stuck. Tugs harder. Winces at the crash.* Well that wasn’t supposed to happen.

We think you’ll agree that our artist, River Rose (who did Disenchanted  and Deadly Reflections’ covers) has done a fantastic job. This has probably been the most stressful book release we have ever had. And in the history of Raven releases, that says a lot. We’ve had releases without books when Amazon cocks up, but this was the first time we had to cancel a release, back in June. But finally, it is all ready for it’s Halloween launch, which we will be having in Falkirk, Scotland, thanks to Julie and Dee at Trinity Moon, who stock our books.

And we will also be at Bristol Horror Con on Saturday October 17th! Yep, they’re letting us have a table. Tickets are available here. So come along and say hi, just so we look marginally popular. Or if you’re too shy to say hello, just stand by our table, which is our usual method.

And here is The Malignant Dead’s book trailer!