C.L. Raven's Blog, page 29

Calamityville Horror

Our amateur ghost hunting show, C.A.T.S Tales of Terror is being revamped after only 3 episodes. It’s had a name change and is now called C.A.T.S Calamityville Horror, after a creative dispute. In other words, the third member of our team, Ryan, suddenly realised we were doing a show and now wants to be part of it, instead of just accepting his role as the C.A.T.S clown. But don’t worry, he still trips over and gives us great out-takes. We think the new name reflects the disastrous things that happen on the show. We’ve also bought fancy new editing software so hopefully the show will be much improved. Well, the filming will be better quality, even if the stars aren’t Not even Ryan’s fancy HD iPhone can make us look good. We just appear in HD. No-one wants to see that.

Yesterday we returned to Newton House in Dinefwr to do the hidden house tour and get answers for what happened last week. We were accompanied by Hayley, who was our guest for this episode. We wandered the house beforehand and returned to the basement where we got the reaction from the K2. We got another reaction from it, in the same place. As usual, we were thrilled. You wouldn’t think a bleeping, flashing machine could make us so excited. Simple things… We got another reaction outside the Tea Room, which used to be the Billiard’s room. People have reported smelling pipe smoke in that room, which we managed to miss out on our last visit. Not sure how that happened. It’s probably Ryan’s fault. Cat put the K2 to Ryan’s body and it flashed and lit up. She put it to his head and it went really quiet. Obviously no brain activity.

We told our guide, Kevin we were interested in the ghost stories and he asked if we were the ones there last week. Our reputation obviously preceded us As long as we left good impressions. People do tend to remember us. Like horror movie monsters. Once you’ve seen us, the fear lingers and haunts your nightmares. We got taken to the offices and the creepy corridor, which featured in Most Haunted. In the room where one man was carried out on that show, the K2 was silent. We got to go on to the roof and were very tempted to push Ryan off to see how well his iPhone’s Steadicam worked under extreme pressure but there were too many witnesses and he wouldn’t have gone quietly. He’s a struggler.

On the tour, we passed the Tea Room and the K2 remained silent. Kevin told us when he was coming down the basement stairs, he once saw a man dressed in Edwardian clothes. We then told him this was where the K2 went off. After the tour, we took Kevin down to the basement and again the K2 performed for us. We’ve asked two members of staff – Kevin & Scott, who we spoke to last week and they both said there’s nothing behind the door. Kevin then opened another door, which led to an original Victorian urinal. Tourists aren’t shown this part. We had behind the scenes access! We were more excited than was normal at seeing a urinal. Wonder if the Victorians adhered to the same weird urinal rules modern men do. We returned to the tourist office to show other staff members the footage and Scott took us back in to see a 400 yr old skeleton of a cat which was discovered under the floorboards. It’s still there. Yes, he moved the floorboard for us. That is customer services. Apparently people used to bury things in floorboards to keep away evil spirits. Children’s shoes were discovered under there. An ancient belief was if you killed someone and buried them in the foundations, the building would stand. So when we have our castle, we might have to try this…

 

Se7en

Yes you're probably sick of the sight of us right now but bear with us. Easter's the time for over indulgence of everything that's bad for you. Though we don't come in shiny wrappers and if you try to smash us open, you will need to see a dentist.

We've been set a challenge by the totally awesome Sean and Dan Campbell, the mad duo behind 90 Days Novel. http://90daysnovel.com They're aiming to write, edit and release an entire novel in 90 days. We thought we were mad for completing NaNoWriMo in 17 days. It's always nice to find someone crazier than you. Comforting. So when the men in white coats come, we can point them in Sean and Dan's direction while we run for the hills, straitjacket arms flapping. Anyhoo, this is their challenge -

go to page 7 or 77 of your manuscript. Go to the 7th line down then copy and paste the next 7 lines into your blog. Then tag 7 other people and ask them to do the same. Beg them. Bribe them. Hell, yank their arm up behind their back and tickle them until they surrender. We'll be jumping straight to the last option. We enjoy torturing people. We rock like that.

We've chosen what will be our debut novel, Soul Asylum. It's set in a haunted asylum in Denbigh and most of you are now well aware that asylum is our Tantalus and we were politely 'escorted' off the grounds when we trespassed. We were really tempted to cheat and do the seven best lines we could find but for once we've stuck to the rules. This is our extract from page 7.

I took them to the social room. The fire danced mesmerisingly. Footsteps echoed around the room yet everyone was standing still. I recounted the spooky tales they longed to hear. I didn't tell them this place was sometimes happy, with the staff trying their best to care for their growing number of patients and always introducing new ways to improve their quality of life. That wasn't what these people wanted. They craved the terrifying stories that would rival Bedlam in their cruelty, depravity and misery.

Sometimes I wondered whether society locked up the wrong people.

Suddenly the room was crowded with expressionless people. An old man sat in the corner playing chess with someone who didn't exist. 

And there you go. Now for our seven victims. We'll also be picking some unpublished writers to force them to put their work out to the masses. Mwahahahahahahahaha! Ryan Burt. Anya Breton. L K Jay. Gena Mantz. Elaine Allen. Lisa Dee. Suzie Tullet.

Death by Chocolate

As it's Easter Monday it's the perfect day to welcome back Julie Lindsey! Although we hope your chocolate eggs weren't spiced with something…memorable After gorging on chocolate, Julie's latest book, Death by Chocolate is the perfect antidote and is the in the first in her Killer Confections series.

I'm baaaaaaack……>!!!!

Okay so this time I'm on the Death by Chocolate blog tour, which means no romance talk! The lady in this novel killed her husband and she's not feeling super awful about it. LOL. In Death by Chocolate, an idea I got in church grew legs and took off. Dead serious.

I was watching these church ladies ladle chicken soup into Styrofoam containers. Everyone thanked them and hugged them and smiled. I sipped my soup and wondered what those ladies were like at home. What about when they took off their simple suits and took the pins from their hair? Did they light up a smoke and toss back a brandy? If they did, how would anyone ever know? What if one of them was a drug dealer? How cool would that be? (I mean of course totally not because drugs are back. Crack is whack. Just say no and things kids.) BUT those sweet little church ladies could really cause a lot of damage and get away with it. No one would suspect them and they know everyone.

Voila!

Ruby Russell was born.

Ruby's an emotional mess. Kind of bumbling. A nervous ninny. So, bless her heart everything she does goes – w.r.o.n.g. But what's a best friend if she won't help you cover a few murders? Am I right? So,  there you go. Death by Chocolate was written and now it's here : ) and I am a little bouncy.

I thought I'd share an excerpt or the trailer before I go away and plot something else completely insane.  I'll let the ladies decide what they want to include, but I hope if you pick up Death by Chocolate, you will put it down smiling.

 

Death by Chocolate

Ruby Russell has reached her limit. When she discovers her hipster husband has a dirty little secret, she whips him up a Viagra-infused-chocolate mousse punishment, but in the morning, her husband's a stiff. Armed with a lifetime of crime show reruns and Arsenic and Old Lace on DVD, Ruby and her best friend Charlotte try to lay low until after Ruby's son's wedding, but a nosy therapist, meddling minister and local news reporter are making it very difficult to get away with murder.

About Julie:

I am a mother of three, wife to a sane person and Ring Master at the Lindsey Circus. Most days you'll find me online, amped up on caffeine & wielding a book.

You can find my blogging about the writer life at Musings from the Slush Pile

Tweeting my crazy at @JulieALindsey

Reading to soothe my obsession on GoodReads

And other books by me on Amazon

Watch Julie's book trailer here http://youtu.be/2JMOKfEQD8c

And if you missed her last visit, click on this link here to find out why she was called a pervert by a rather mean editor. http://clraven.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/welcome-julie-a-lindsey/

As always, we love Julie's blog posts and can't wait to read this book. We might get some ideas from it ourselves… be warned guys.

C.A.T.S. Tales of Error

We've decided that with our mock ghost hunting show, C.A.T.S. Tales of Terror (C.A.T.S. standing for Cardiff's Answer to Supernatural, even though one third of the group isn't from Cardiff) we'd release an episode every fortnight. Weekly would involve too much work – we'd never be able to visit a place every week then get all the editing down as well as working on our writing, so fortnightly gives us breathing space.

So we need to visit more places. First we couldn't decide where we wanted to go. Well, we know where we want to go, but Ryan has developed an allergic reaction every time North Wales is mentioned, so Beaumaris Gaol is out for the time being. We also want to visit Bodmin Jail, the Jamaica Inn and Poldark Mines in Cornwall, but we're going to book a long weekend there for those places. So we wanted somewhere closer. After trawling the Internet and our book of haunted places, we decided on St. Mary's Church in Avenbury, Herefordshire. It's old, spooky and has great tales of haunting. We printed off the directions, did our research and were all set for a visit. Then we discovered it's private property and we can only look at it from the footpath. We scrapped it.

Returning to the Internet, we discovered some abandoned forts on the Pembrokeshire coast which look cool. No mentions of hauntings, but that doesn't mean we can't explore them. Who says we have to only go to places other people claim are haunted? But the one relies on the tide being out so if we're going to Tenby, we'd need to get there early to spend the whole day there so we can return to Caldy Island where we often went as kids.

Lynx then found a place on a BBC website called Aberglasney. It came up repeatedly amongst the people who were listing scary places they've visited. It's reputedly haunted by 6 maids who were found dead in their beds after a suspected carbon monoxide poisoning when the house was being renovated. The night before they died, some people reported seeing floating candles along the corridor outside the Blue Room, where they died – corpse candles. There's a superstition that if you see a corpse candle, which is usually a blue flame, it will lead you to your grave.

Aberglasney

So yesterday, we set off for Aberglasney, which is just past Llandeilo in Carmarthenshire. We got to drive through Ammanford, where our nan's side of the family is from. Amazingly, we didn't get lost. Despite the fact we were once again relying on AA route planner. We've forgiven it for its massive betrayal in North Wales and it's working really hard to earn our trust again. Aberglasney gardens are beautiful. There are several different ones and they truly are stunning. There was just one problem – the gardens aren't haunted. The house is, but only the ground floor is open. Upstairs, the haunted part, is not accessible. In fact, it's not even there.

So there were no ghosts for our ghost hunting show. This doesn't happen to Most Haunted.

We decided to return to the car and consult our map. Ryan couldn't get service to look on Google so like Sam and Dean do in Supernatural, we rang our superhero at base camp, our Bobby – our mum. She was manning the animal army whilst doing some decorating, but she still got onto the Internet for us to find us a place close by. Newton House in Dinefwr Park. It was a few minutes down the road and we'd just driven past the sign for the turning. We circled the roundabout and headed back, not knowing what to expect. We hadn't circled this place on our map because the symbols say it's a garden. They neglect to mention it has a castle, a haunted manor house and a slaughterhouse.

All the information we had to go on, was that there was a murder, a suicide and people often felt like they were being strangled. Mum didn't know where in Dinefwr Park Newton House was or even if it was even open. Then we saw it. And fell in love. It's a beautiful gothic mansion set in acres of land with woodland and Fallow deer. We've never seen deer in real life. Then we saw a classic car – a 1930′s Buick. So we went to photograph that first. At the information centre, we were sorely tempted to go on the Hidden House tour, which takes you to the attic and the roof, where you're not allowed to go, but we weren't sure if they'd allow us to film and our episode was already on a life support machine. We asked the lady if the place was haunted. She went silent.

Newton House

We headed for Newton House and showed our receipt to the guide, who was called Scott James. We started talking to him about Aberglasney and hunting for ghosts. He was lovely, friendly and helpful and agreed to let us film him while he told us all about the ghostly experiences that have happened there. We just have to get permission from The National Trust to use the footage. We really hope we can because it will be a welcome change to have in C.A.T.S. Tales of Terror, a coherent professional who actually knows what they're talking about. Plus he comes across great on camera – natural and knowledgeable. Not like us clowns. He also told us they hold tours there on Halloween. We are going!

We were wandering around the basement, minding our own business when these girls – they must've been about 6-8ish, spotted us. Lynx had wandered off and they stopped by Cat. One said "Oh. My. Gosh." Then they fled. Every time they saw us, they ran. Um, we're not the ones going round strangling tourists. We walked along the corridor and passed a staircase. The K2 went nuts. It had been silent all day. It was silent all throughout Hell Fire Caves (we were beginning to think it was broken) but there it was, bleeping and flashing with the needle all the way in the red zone. There was nothing there. It was just a corner at the foot of the stairs. We put it to the floor and walls, to see if there were any electrical cables hidden in the walls. It went quiet. We moved it away and it went crazy again.

By this point, we'd attracted a bit of attention. Our secret of being 'ghost hunters' was exposed by our manic machine.

The K2 acting like a Lights Alive

Two women stopped to talk to us and they told us they'd felt something upstairs in the restaurant. The restaurant used to be the Billiards Room and is one of the rooms the guide, Scott, told us that strange smoke has been seen in. They were as intrigued as we were with our K2. We can't explain it. The only thing we can think of, is there was a door by the stairs that was locked. We're going to back and ask the guides what's behind that door. If it's something electrical, like the system for the audio, that would explain the K2′s reaction. Also it'll give us a chance to see if the K2 does it again.

The K2 continued bleeping as we went up the stairs then it fell silent and didn't utter another sound for the rest of our time in the house. We somehow managed to miss the old Billiards Room and the garden and according to the map, several other buildings too, so we definitely have to go back. We want to go on the Hidden House tour.  We're hoping we'll see the same guide, so he can tell us more about the house and hopefully, what's behind that door.

We're hoping it's the Boogeyman.

Easter brainday

Aloha juicy brains! It's been so long since I was on here last, I was worried my Necromancers had changed the password to keep me out. It's because I write much better blogs than them and they're worried their followers will prefer me. They're right to be worried.

Anyhoo, Easter is coming up. For years I had to listen to my Necromancers whine about the fact there were no vegan Easter eggs. Well now there are and it's my turn to whine. What the hell am I supposed to eat? Chocolate is bad for my digestive system. They now cater for vegans, is it so hard for them to cater for zombies too? We're a minority group as well. They could load brains with Smarties, chocolate buttons, sweets, cram them into mugs etc. But somehow I can't see my Easter treat being wrapped in coloured foil and put in a box with a cartoon character on it. It's a shame. Pinky and The Brain would be a great gimmick. I feel so snubbed. Like I'm a second class citizen.  People really don't respect the dead.

If you think about it, Easter is the time for celebrating zombieism. Jesus rose from the dead, just like I did. Are people eating chocolate brains in MY honour? No! Jesus has his own book, the Bible. I have my own book – Scott the Zombie. Just because it's not published yet doesn't mean I'm not important. Ok, I can't turn bread into fishes or water into wine but I can play baseball with my own leg. Can Jesus do that? Big fat NO! And he was created by a beam of light impregnating Mary (which sounds an awful lot like the Care Bears were behind this, if you ask me) I was bitten by a zombie then struck by lightning. WE'RE THE SAME! Except he was 32, had long brown hair, a beard and a penchant for sandals whereas I'm 21, super hot and have a penchant for ripped jeans and an array of zombie slogan t-shirts. Why don't I have public holidays and hymns sung about me? At least I have my own Facebook page and Twitter account. I appeal to the younger generation. Like Jesus, I also have enemies queuing up to kill me. And there are films about my kind, just like there's religious films. And there'll be a war started in my name. When Scott the Zombie Superstar musical is made, THEN you'll believe me! Is Andrew Lloyd Webber on Twitter? We need to get the brain rolling on this.

My Necromancers have cake moulds in the shape of a bunny and a sheep. I plan to ram a brain into them so I can have a bunny shaped brain to munch on while I celebrate Zombie Sunday. Or Easter to the non trendy traditionalists. I'll put a little brain into an egg mould, wrap it in foil, shove it in a I Love Scott the Zombie mug that my Necromancers will design and make (they will if they don't want their brains eaten) and deliver it to the Prime Minister. Then he can start the proceedings for Zombie Sunday next year. It will happen my juicy little snack friends! Or heads will roll…then I can eat their brains!

Scott x

Hell Fire

Our K2 meter arrived on Wednesday, along with our camera bag & in-car camcorder charger. So the trip to Hell Fire Caves was on! We were so excited we couldn't keep still. Friday night was spent eating chip shop chips and watching Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International and Most Haunted – the Hell Fire Caves episode. Saturday morning dawned bright and warm – not the type of weather you associate with ghost hunting. We set off at 9:05 for the two hour, twenty four minute journey to West Wycombe. We'd arranged to meet L K Jay there and were looking forwards to meeting her for the first time.

Surprisingly, we didn't get lost. Apart from going to the wrong car park, but that's an easy mistake to make and entirely Ryan's fault. We met L K outside the car park and walked up to the caves together. The entrance is beautiful and not what you'd expect a cave entrance to look like. Especially one that hosted the infamous Hell Fire Club. We sat outside for a bit, chatting then decided to venture in.

The caves are amazing. They're not too brightly lit, which lends an eerie atmosphere. Throughout the caves, there are cages which house mannequins. At one point, Ryan rounded the corner and spied a cage with child mannequins in it. He saw a shadow dart inside it. Creeped out, he edged towards the cage. And discovered Cat inside it with the mannequins. We couldn't figure how the hell she had got in. Turned out, the gate was unlocked. All the gates were unlocked. Even the gate to the Inner Temple, which is situated 300 ft directly below St. Lawrence Church and was where most of the fun took place. There were mannequins seated around a table. So we joined them for a group photo.

Sadly, we didn't see any ghosts. But we had lots of fun and highly recommend these caves to anyone. After the caves, we walked to the George and Dragon pub, in the ghost of the doomed barmaid, Sukie's footsteps. The most terrible thing that happened was that the pub didn't serve Smirnoff Ice or Red Bull. Luckily we'd bought plenty of supplies.

The caves were built in the 1750′s by Sir Francis Dashwood, who employed local men to keep them in employment. The caves were used by Dashwood and his friends, for their meetings, which would consist of drinking, feasting and wenching. We'd been looking forwards to participating in some wenching but unfortunately, the caves didn't sell hotties in the gift shop. The Club members would often dress in white robes, with the leader wearing a red robe and they called themselves the Friars of Francis.

In the Most Haunted episode, they claim that Satanic rituals took place in the caves. We've found no evidence of this. However, they did hold mock PAGAN rituals. The last time we checked, Paganism is an entirely different religion, but who lets the truth get in the way of a good story?

The most famous ghost that reputedly haunts Hell Fire, is Sukie. She was a local girl who worked in the George and Dragon pub. She repeatedly spurned the advances of the local lads, because she wanted to marry a Lord. One day, a Lord came into the bar and flirted with Sukie. Three of the lads were so incensed, they set a trap for Sukie. They wrote a note, claiming to be from her Lord, asking her to meet him in the caves, in a white wedding dress. When she arrived, the lads scared her and taunted her. She ran into the caves, they threw stones at her, she fell and hit her head. The lads took her back to the pub, where she died a few days later. Visitors to the caves have reported seeing a woman in a wedding dress.

This is a great story. But we think that's all it is. In the late eighteenth century, the local lads would've been farm workers, or labourers – they wouldn't have been able to read or write. Even if one of them could write, would he have been able to write well enough to convince Sukie it was from her Lord? We don't think so. Where would she have got a wedding dress at such short notice?

However, in the Hell Fire Club, they would smuggle prostitutes into the caves and they often liked indulging in role play. One of their favourites was of Ariadne, a quasi-virgin Greek bride. The prostitutes would often give themselves exotic names. Could a prostitute have died during one of these games? Is that who visitors have seen? If it is her, how did she die? And why does nobody know about it?

Hotty Heaven

Each week we've been enjoying Anya Breton's hotty pics on her blog. After a dare from her, Ryan Burt has bravely compiled a list of his ten man crushes. We have a feeling there are many more he's just not admitting to. So now we're taking on the challenge. Feast your eyes on these beautiful specimens of manly perfection. These are in no particular order. And please don't drool over the keyboard. While you're enjoying them, we shall be smearing them in melted chocolate. Nomnomnomnom.

Johnny Messner. Was in Tears of the Sun and Killer Instinct. Check out his voice. So sexy.

 

 

 

 

Thomas Dekker. Adam in Secret Circle. Sexy voice and at times looks like he wears eyeliner. And you know we find that attractive on a guy.

 

 

 

Omari Hardwick and Logan Marshall Green. Ty Curtis & Dean Bendis in Dark Blue. They tie because we seriously can't decide who's hotter. Every episode we have this debate.

 

 

 

 

Theo James. He played Jed Harper in the ghost drama Bedlam, which was set in a mental asylum that had been converted into flats. We want to live there! With Theo

 

 

 

 

 Jason Tovey. Dragons rugby player (hopefully soon to be Cardiff Blues player). He'll be easier to stalk when he's in our city

 

 

 

 

Jensen Ackles. Plays Dean Winchester in Supernatural. He can slay our demons any day

 

 

 

 

 Shemar Moore. Morgan in Criminal Minds. Talk to me baby girl.

 

 

 My Chemical Romance. Yeah they're all in there. They are our gods and we love their minds as much as their faces.

 

 

 

 Johnny Depp. Well, after spending days discussing him being covered in chocolate with Anya and Ryan, it'd be rude not to include him. And he's deliciously quirky. He's also a rare breed – one of the few guys we would date when he has long hair. The only other members of this group is MCR.

 

 

 

 

Wentworth Miller. Played Michael Schofield in Prison Break and has been our obsession ever since.

Have your hearts recovered from this sight?

 

C.A.T.S. Tales of Terror

Enough of boring you with Gunning Down Romance. We've started a new project. Our own ghost hunting show. Before you start thinking of Most Haunted, with high tec night vision camera equipment, an entire crew acting scared, a 'psychic' communicating with the spirits etc, this one's different – we never see any ghosts, none of it's faked, there's no script, no crew. We don't even research the places we're visiting. We're basically just clowns with a camera (and an EMF when it arrives). It's not a proper show and should never be taken seriously. Come on, it's us, we couldn't do serious if we tried. So we've basically just got the footage we've filmed of any ghost hunting we've done and stuck it in Movie Maker with start and end credits. See? Not serious at all. We've called ourselves C.A.T.S. – Cardiff's Answer to Supernatural, even though the third member of our team, Ryan, is from Brigend. But we hadn't met him when we came up with the name, so it stays. The show is Tales of Terror. Even though nothing scary happens, but it's cool, so we're keeping it.

The first episode was shot in June 2010 when we visited Boys Village in East Aberthaw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdQYjEVuguE&context=C426d6b8ADvjVQa1PpcFNvSknDwArr1KJSPVLTGQ4ocP-tSmkhZMk= the blog for our visit is here: http://clraven.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/ghost-hunting-live/ episode 2 will be our visit to Ruthin Gaol. Episode 3 would've been our visit to Denbigh Asylum, had we not been escorted off the grounds. That really bites because we've seen photos & footage of people who managed to sneak in there. We ranted and raved about that for hours. We need to be in there! We've written a novel set there and everyone else but us has got in. We got angrier and angrier with each photo/video footage. Probably should've shut the computer down. Our glowing rage was mistaken for the Aurora Borealis. Each photo we see just infuriates us more. So instead, episode 3 is our visit to Margam Castle. We did a ghost walk there on Tuesday night with Wales History and Hauntings (who we did the Llandaff ghost walk with) so wanted to visit the castle in the day to get good footage. We knew it was going to go horribly wrong when we arrived at Ryan's ready for a day of ghost fun only for him to think we were spending the afternoon in the Harvester with his family. We stared blankly at him. He swore blind he'd told us. He did not. So we set off to Margam ready for ghostly fun with just the two of us (there's nothing vegan in Harvester, not even the chips) only for him to phone saying he'd cancelled and was joining us. Except he couldn't find the motorway. Most of our time in Margam was wasted trying to find our way up to the ruins on the mountain. Once again proving, we are in fact, idiots.

The ghost walk was amazing. Unfortunately we couldn't film it but we highly recommend you do that one and the Llandaff one. The guide, Jim, is fantastic. The hours fly by and you don't even notice the cold because you're so enthralled in his stories. Plus you get to visit Margam in the dark without having to remortage your house to pay for it. http://www.cardiffhistory.co.uk/ if you want to book a walk. Sadly we didn't see any ghosts, though we were nearly turned into some on the M4 when a horse van thought it would be fun to try to crush us between it, the crash barrier and another car. But we live to fight another day.

So…if you like creepy ghost hunting shows with properly trained presenters who've painstakingly researched the place they're going to, screams aplenty and the whole thing taken incredibly seriously, do NOT watch our show. However, if you would like to see 2 freaks and a geek getting lost, insulting  and hitting each other, armed with a video camera that doesn't seem to have night vision who forgot to do their research in the excitement of visiting the place, then by all means, tune in. As soon as our EMF arrives, we're off to Hellfire Caves. Yes we will get lost. Yes we will fool around. And yes in true horror movie form, we will mock the legend and get butchered live on camera. As long as one of survives to upload it.

Time of the month

Gunning Down Romance is one month old today! So we thought we'd blog about what it's been like in our first month as Indie writers. So far we've sold 28 copies, so that equals roughly one a day, which we're quite happy with. Most of them are in America, with 6 in the UK, one in Canada, one in France and two in Australia. 14 people have downloaded the 15% free sample from Smashwords but none of these have progressed into sales. Either they haven't read it yet (we're guilty of doing this) or they didn't enjoy it. To help with the promotion, we made posters and bookmarks. Two posters are in our sister's school staffrooms and one is adorning the window of our local Post Office. One of our Australian friends, Chris, requested 40 bookmarks and told us he'd put them in horror books in his local bookstores. We loved that idea! So we sent him a free copy of the book as a thank you. We've had 9 5* reviews on Amazon, which we're thrilled with so huge thanks to everyone who's left one. Hopefully the bookmarks will generate more interest in the book as right now our Amazon stats are plummeting so fast, they're becoming Kamikaze pilots. If we hit the bottom of the graph, Amazon might explode.

Have we made our fortune? Hell no. In fact, we're only halfway to paying off the images we bought for our book trailer and now we'll have to sell even more to get back the money spent on making the bookmarks. We will probably never be in profit with this book. But if we wanted to make money, we wouldn't be writers We've loved the whole learning process and being able to manically tap the thumbnail on Amazon and proudly declare "we did that. All by ourselves. Yeah us. Who can't even work free photo editing software." And we'll be doing it again, with our twisted fairytale collection and with Soul Asylum. And probably with all our other novels and maybe we'll write another Gunning Down Romance for next Valentine's. After all the colour of Valentine's is also the colour of blood.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/132849

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gunning-Down-Romance-ebook/dp/B0078KYG3W/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1331647752&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Gunning-Down-Romance-ebook/dp/B0078KYG3W/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1331647787&sr=1-1

Love Hurts by L K Jay

Roll up! Roll up! Another guest has decided to brave the gloomy corridors of Ravens Retreat. She was given a torch and a map at the door directing her to the cobweb filled living room of this crumbling asylum. After writing about ghost hunting, this place shouldn't scare her too much. Aha. Here she is. She's arrived safe and sound and covered in cobwebs. We'd like to introduce to the fabulous L K Jay, author of The Ghost Hunter's Club.

Love Hurts…

By L K Jay

 

Two significant days happened to me this month which should have been important to me romantically.  Pity they were both utter non events but such is the story of my hopeless love life.  The first one was my 40th birthday.  A significant male friend came to visit, we went out for my birthday, got drunk, he made pass at me and then he decided that I wasn't up to scratch.  A bloody marvellous way to start the 4th decade of my life.  Roll on Valentine's day and as per usual, I get a credit card bill and council tax reminder but nothing made of cardboard.

Yet do I sit a weep on my sofa, listen to 'Adele' and mourn my loss?  Do I hell!

I get out my laptop, let the vitriol flow through my veins, my fingers fly across the keyboard and I write like fury.  Getting it out of my system by using the sorry events in a plot and onto paper is one of the best forms of therapy I know.  And once the story has been edited, formatted and the cover design finished, you might have a successfully selling story on your hands.  What better revenge is that?

This was why downloading C L Raven's 'Gunning Down Romance' on Valentine's day was such a satisfying read.  I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that Valentine's is irritating but reading those macabre love stories where romance takes a deadly turn was gratifying to say the least.  What a delicious way to get your rubbish ex out of your head than imagining him being carved up, sautéed and served as an hors d'oeuvre?

It was exactly the same a couple of years ago when I met who should have been Mr Right.  He was tall, handsome, had a well paid job in the city and was funny to boot.  Was I swept off my feet and down the aisle?  No such luck.  Instead I found myself supervising a very, very drunk 6 foot 2 man who told me that despite being on a date, I was misinterpreting his interest in me and then promptly threw up in the middle of Leicester Square.  I don't half pick 'em.  But once I'd popped the blisters on my feet from wearing ridiculous shoes in order to impress this man, I sat at my laptop and started writing 'The Ghost Hunters Club'.  Before long, my rubbish date was out of my system and by the time I had finished writing four months later I had completely forgotten about him and I had the first draft of my novel that I was really pleased with.

So here I am with a novel to publicise and a story to tell.  If you find yourself dumped, on your own and seething; don't get mad, get even.  Use your experiences and write about them; you'll feel better afterwards and you never know you might make a bob or two out of it.  After all, where there's muck there's brass!

'The Ghost Hunters Club' by L K Jay is available to download from Amazon. http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Ghost-Hunters-Club-ebook/dp/B006E88OM8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1330896901&sr=1-1 It's got ghosts, drinking and hopeless men; see if you can spot the rubbish date and see what I do to him in the end…

The Ghost Hunters Club book trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcqgFIfOz4I

You can find out more about L K Jay from her blog: lkjaywriter.blogspot.com

Or follow her on Twitter: @FenlandGirll

L K Jay writes for Art Fist magazine and we were thrilled when she asked if she could interview us. Of course we said yes! You can read her brilliant interview here - http://www.artfist.org/2012/03/interview-with-c-l-raven.html?m=1