Azra Tabassum's Blog, page 193

I’ve gone back to that awful point where I’d rather be sleeping than be awake so I...

I’ve gone back to that awful point where I’d rather be sleeping than be awake so I don’t have to think about the endless shit that I need to do and applications due in soon and how restless and disappointed I feel in everything all the time

"And he took me home and kissed me till my heart looked like pulp and we undressed each other from..."

“And he took me home and kissed me

till my heart looked like pulp

and we undressed each other from the inside out

and we loved till it was brimming

and mama, it was a disaster

and it was devastating

and it was light.”

- Azra T., excerpt of Red Riding Hood (via camilla-macauley)

breanna-lynn:Teach me how to gracefully let go of things not meant for me.

breanna-lynn:

Teach me how to gracefully let go of things not meant for me.

Photo

"Are you quiet when you need to be loved? Or do you raise your voice into a lion’s roar? Will you..."

“Are you quiet when you need to be loved? Or do you raise your voice into a lion’s roar? Will you nudge yourself into my hips? Will you bite my shoulders and say ‘I need you to love me harder today’? Are you softer in the mornings? Which side of the bed do you like to take? Do you sprawl yourself out and steal the covers? Do you sleep naked? Do you take your coffee black? In the summer, do you flip the pillow and sigh when your cheek touches the cold side? Do you keep the windows open at night? If so, how? Aren’t you scared of monsters? Do you know that I’m scared of everything that lives in the dark? Are you aware that sometimes I get so nervous I forget how to move my feet? Can you be patient? Can you be gentle? Do you know how? Is there a quiet war raging inside of you? When you curl your fists and raise your chin, are you donning your armour? Can I help? Can I fight all of your demons with you? I won’t shy away from them, not if it would make you happy. Do you know that I’d stand in the dark in an empty room for you? Do you know that I trust you’d never ask that of me? Do you know that I don’t flinch when you cup my face? Even though if you so much as twitched too hard you could break me? Isn’t this what trust looks like? Isn’t it how I am always skin and emotions for you? Isn’t it saying ‘I love you more today than I did yesterday, but it was a whole lot yesterday’? Listen, do you feel safest when you’re holding yourself together? Do you think someday you can let that go? Will you let me take the pieces of you and keep them close? Can you let me love you? Will you learn how to? It doesn’t matter, I’ll wait.”

- Azra.T “34 Questions”  (via 5000letters)

"Maybe I am my own happening.Maybe I am the beginning of the story,before you walk in with your bad..."

“Maybe I am my own happening.

Maybe I am the beginning of the story,

before you walk in with your bad jokes

and your three years of silence

scattered across the turnpike.

I am trying to think about the moment

that I started crying, and I think it

was when I realized that all of my poems

were about you.

But maybe they weren’t.

Maybe I was just drawing you in between

the line breaks because I was lonely

and didn’t know how else to fill in the moments.

Maybe I am my own poem.

Maybe I am the reason my hands shake,

why I can’t say no to you even when

you aren’t asking me for anything.

Maybe I am the bad days.

Maybe I am my own sun.

Maybe I am in charge of my own undoing, of my own healing.

Who taught me to thank the ones

who didn’t want to stay?

Who taught me that you were something

to hurt about?

Maybe it was me.

I think it was.

Maybe I want to rest my tongue in

my own mouth and maybe I don’t

actually need anything from you.

I could be the moment it all started.

I could be responsible for the violins

in my throat, for the piano in

my teeth.

Maybe you were never the music in me.

Maybe I have always been singing.”

- Caitlyn Siehl, Piano Teeth (via alonesomes)

People say I'm too sensitive...

Caitlyn reblogged a picture of a “sensitive plant” and tagged it “me and Azra tbh.” Own it.

He doesn't want me anymore Azra, I do n't think he ever did

And what, my love? Maybe he did and maybe he didn’t and maybe he didn’t understand the things that exist inside of you and maybe it really, really doesn’t matter. Hold your head up like a queen. Do it like you believe it. You weren’t made for his wanting.

I miss you when you're not on line

This is nice but also kind of strange… Please do other things like read a book

"Please know there are much better things in life than being lonely or liked or bitter or mean or..."

“Please know there are much better things in life than being lonely or liked or bitter or mean or self-conscious. We are all full of shit. Go love someone just because; I know your heart may be badly bruised, or even the victim of numerous knifings, but it will always heal, even if you don’t want it to; it keeps going. There are the most fantastic, beautiful things and people out there, I promise. It is up to you to find them.”

- Chuck Palahniuk  (via dieworten)