Lissy Bauer's Blog

How to Stop Overthinking: 5 Practical Steps to Find Peace

Learn how to calm your thoughts, reduce anxiety, and finally feel mentally at peace.

Overthinking can feel like mental quicksand. The harder you try to find clarity, the more tangled your thoughts become. You replay conversations, question your decisions, and prepare for outcomes that may never happen. It’s exhausting — and worse, it convinces you that if you just keep thinking, you’ll find relief.

But thinking harder doesn’t bring peace. Knowing when to pause, and how, is what makes the difference.

Here are five practical, research-backed steps I’ve used (and taught) to help stop overthinking and build mental clarity. No hacks. Just real tools that work.

1. Notice When You’re Spiraling

The first step is to recognize the shift, when your thoughts go from helpful planning to endless rehashing.

Look for signs like:

Mentally replaying the same scenario multiple times Trying to predict or control the future Ruminating on things you said or didn’t say

Overthinking often masquerades as productivity. Learning to spot it is key.

2. Name the Thought… Out Loud

Once you notice the spiral, give your thought a name.

Try:

“This is the ‘I messed up’ story.” “This is the fear of being judged.” “This is the ‘what if I fail’ loop.”

Naming creates space between you and the thought. You are not your anxiety, you’re someone experiencing it. That distinction makes a huge difference.

3. Ground Yourself in the Present

Overthinking lives in the land of “what-ifs.” The fastest way to quiet it is to return to “what is.”

Try this 3-step grounding practice:

Feel your feet on the floor Take 3 slow, intentional breaths Find one thing you can see, hear, and touch

These tiny anchors pull you out of mental noise and into the moment.

4. Schedule Time to Worry

It sounds counterintuitive, but giving yourself permission to worry can reduce its grip.

Set a timer for 10–15 minutes a day. Let the thoughts come. Write them down if it helps. Then, when worry shows up outside that window, gently remind yourself: Not now, I’ll come back to this later.

Containment lowers the intensity.

5. Ask Better Questions

Overthinking keeps you in the question: What if something goes wrong?

Shift it to:

What do I need right now? What’s one small thing I can control? If this thought were a signal, what would it be pointing me toward?

Better questions don’t give you all the answers, they give you traction.

Peace doesn’t come from solving every thought.

It comes from learning how to relate to your thoughts differently, with more compassion, more clarity, and more courage to pause.

I’ve spent years trying to “think” my way out of worry, only to realize that some of our most persistent thoughts just need to be acknowledged, not solved.

Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonates, I share more about this shift in perspective and how to work with your worry instead of fighting it in my book THE WORRY CHAIR: Mastering the Art of Worrying. It’s a guide for anyone who’s ever felt trapped in their mind and is ready to find a more peaceful way forward.

Why Losing Might Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

Why Losing Might Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
How failure strips away illusions and shows us who we’re meant to become.

We all want to win.

Win at work. Win in love. Win at life.

But here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud:

You’re going to lose.
And believe it or not, that might be the best thing that ever happens to you.

Losing Hurts—But It Wakes You Up

That job title, that relationship, that dream you poured years into—when it’s gone, it stings.

But loss also brings clarity. In that moment, you stop performing and start asking real questions:

Who am I now? What actually matters to me? What do I want to build from here?

That’s not failure. That’s the beginning of becoming.

We’ve Been Lied To About Success

We’re taught that success is a straight line. That winners keep winning and losers stay stuck.

But here’s what’s actually true: every successful person has failed—publicly, painfully, and more than once.

They didn’t succeed because they avoided losing. They succeeded because they used their losses as fuel.

Losing isn’t a dead end. It’s a detour to something more aligned.

What If You’re Supposed to Fail?

It sounds radical. But failure can be a forced reset that teaches you more than any win ever could:

That rejection? It pushed you to stop settling. That breakup? It taught you how to set boundaries. That failed business? It showed you what really matters to you.

Failure isn’t just feedback. It’s the doorway to your next, truer chapter.

How to Turn Failure Into Fuel

Psychologist Carol Dweck calls it a growth mindset—the belief that your abilities can develop through effort and learning.

Start practicing it today:

Stop asking: “Why did this happen to me?” Start asking: “What is this trying to teach me?”

Loss doesn’t mean you have to bounce back. It means you get to build forward—with intention.

You Were Never Meant to Stay the Same

Losing breaks the illusion of control—but it also breaks the patterns that keep you stuck.

In the aftermath of loss, you have a rare window of clarity. Use it.

Journal. Reflect. Ask better questions. Strip away what no longer serves you.

Your old life may be gone. But your real life—the one that fits—might be just beginning.

Here’s the Truth:

Losing isn’t the opposite of winning. It’s part of the path.

And if you’re willing to lean into the discomfort, reflect with honesty, and rebuild with courage, you may find that what looked like failure was actually the turning point you needed.

Because it made you pay attention.
Because it pushed you to grow.
Because it showed you who you really are.

So the next time something falls apart, remember:

You’re not losing. You’re becoming.

This reflection was inspired by my book How to Lose: How Loss Can Pave the Way to True Success and Resilience, a science-backed, no-fluff guide to using loss as a launchpad for resilience and growth. If you’re navigating failure, rejection, or reinvention—it might be the conversation you didn’t know you needed.

7 Easy Summer Adventures That Don’t Require Leaving Town (and Might Just Change Your Life)

Are you searching for easy summer activities near you that don’t require travel, big expenses, or complicated planning? You’re not alone. Many people want to find budget-friendly summer adventures close to home that refresh the spirit, spark creativity, and boost mental well-being.

That’s where micro-adventures come in — small, local, and simple experiences that break your routine and reconnect you to joy. And summer is the perfect season to start these easy, meaningful adventures without leaving your neighborhood.

Here are 7 simple summer adventures anyone can do to feel more alive, creative, and resilient — no plane ticket required.

1. Camp in Your Backyard (or on Your Balcony)
Skip the hassle of travel and reservations. Set up a tent or build a blanket fort right outside your door. Bring snacks, flashlights, and music — or enjoy the peaceful silence. Use a stargazing app for a magical night under the stars.

2. Play Tourist in Your Own City
Become a local explorer. Search for “hidden gems near me,” and visit a museum, mural, or park you’ve never seen before. Take photos and enjoy discovering your hometown from a fresh perspective. Bonus: Try that quirky cafe you’ve always walked past.

3. Host a Sunset Picnic
There’s something special about watching the sunset. Pack your favorite snacks and a blanket, then head to a nearby park, rooftop, or beach. Bring a friend or go solo, and savor the moment as the sky changes colors.

4. Take a Curiosity Walk
Turn off your GPS and wander with no set destination. Let your senses guide you on a mindful walk. Bring a camera to capture interesting sights and turn your stroll into a photo scavenger hunt.

5. Start a Weekly Adventure Challenge
Commit to trying a new local activity each week this summer. It could be a fitness class, a new bakery, or a short drive to a nearby town. These small adventures build confidence and keep life fresh.

6. Go Deep at a Farmers Market
Instead of rushing, slow down and connect. Talk to vendors about their products, sample unfamiliar foods, and treat the market as a cultural experience. It’s a great way to support local businesses while nourishing your curiosity.

7. Create a One-Day At-Home Retreat
Turn off your phone and dedicate a day to self-care. Start with yoga or a nature walk, read a nourishing book (may I suggest Extra Ordinary Adventures?), journal your thoughts, take a relaxing bath, and reflect on what brings you joy.

Why Small Summer Adventures Matter
You don’t need a vacation or a plane ticket to feel renewed. These micro-adventures help you:

Rediscover curiosity and wonder Improve mental health and reduce stress Build resilience and adaptability Deepen your connection to your local community

Unlike big trips, these experiences are affordable, accessible, and easy to fit into your schedule.

Want to Explore More?
Extra Ordinary Adventures: Building Resilience Through Micro-Adventuress by Lissy Bauer is a feel-good guide filled with practical tips to build joy, creativity, and confidence through everyday local explorations. Perfect for readers ready to embrace adventure at any pace.

How Micro-Adventures Help Single Women Reclaim Joy, Confidence, and Freedom

Feeling stuck or lonely while single? You don’t need a partner or a passport to feel alive — just curiosity and a free afternoon. Single life is not a waiting room for your “real life” to start. It’s a unique, powerful season full of opportunities for growth, joy, and freedom.

But freedom can sometimes feel isolating, especially when social media fills your feed with couples’ vacations or family get-togethers you’re not part of. If you’re craving joy and connection but don’t want to wait for the perfect timing or someone else’s company, micro-adventures can be your secret weapon.

What Are Micro-Adventures? These are simple, local experiences that break your routine and bring you back to life. Whether it’s a solo brunch at a new cafe, a sunset walk in a part of town you’ve never explored, or a quiet backyard picnic with no phone — these small adventures cultivate joy and confidence without needing a big budget or travel plans.

Joy is not a luxury reserved for “later.” It’s essential to well-being and resilience. Micro-adventures help you reconnect with the little delights — a new flavor, a fresh breeze, the thrill of doing something just because you want to. These moments teach you that life is happening right now, and you are the one who gets to live it fully.

Going solo might feel intimidating at first, but it’s also empowering. Each micro-adventure builds your confidence and emotional resilience. You learn you can show up for yourself, handle discomfort, and create meaningful experiences without relying on anyone else. You stop waiting to be chosen and start choosing yourself.

True freedom means owning your power to choose. Your life is yours to shape. Your happiness doesn’t depend on relationship status or external circumstances. You are whole and deserving of joy right now.

Try This: Dress up and be your own date. Take a sunrise walk to watch the day begin. Join a new class or event, even if you feel nervous. Camp outside under the stars in your backyard. Take a spontaneous train or bus ride with no destination in mind. These simple choices add up to big shifts in your mindset and well-being.

To dive deeper into how micro-adventures can transform your life, check out my book Extra Ordinary Adventures: Building Resilience Through Micro-Adventures. It’s a guide to reclaiming joy, resilience, and confidence through small, local adventures.

Have you taken a micro-adventure recently? Share your story in the comments — I’d love to hear how you’re choosing yourself! 🌿

Tiny Adventures, Big Impact: Why Small Acts of Bravery Build Resilience

As both a writer and an everyday overthinker, I’ve learned something surprising: sometimes, the best way to reset your mindset isn’t through grand gestures—it’s through tiny adventures.

There’s a quiet kind of bravery in shaking up your routine. Not the big, dramatic kind we associate with climbing mountains or quitting your job to travel the world. I’m talking about the courage it takes to do something small, unfamiliar, and just a little uncomfortable… on purpose.

These are micro-adventures. They’re short, simple experiences that challenge your normal. A walk somewhere new. A spontaneous detour after work. Saying yes to something you’d normally decline. They don’t look like much on the outside, but internally, they train your mind to loosen its grip on control, comfort, and predictability.

Resilience Grows in Small Moments

Resilience isn’t something you’re born with or without. It’s something you build, especially in the in-between times—like a Tuesday afternoon in your neighborhood before dinner.

The brain loves novelty. Trying something unfamiliar—even something tiny—can create new neural pathways. You learn to tolerate discomfort. You begin to trust your ability to adapt. That kind of self-trust is the foundation of emotional resilience.

“You don’t have to go far to find yourself. Start with one step outside your routine.”

Think Like an Explorer

Micro-adventures don’t require exotic travel or tons of free time. What they ask of you is curiosity.

Ask yourself: What would happen if I did this differently? That one question can get you unstuck. It reminds you that you still have agency—even when life feels rigid or overwhelming.

Try one of these:

Walk a new path or visit a nearby neighborhood you’ve never explored Try a solo outing somewhere you’d normally go with someone else Switch up your routine just enough to feel a little unsure Take a class or attend an event where you don’t know anyone

The goal isn’t to be productive—it’s to be present.

“Growth doesn’t always look like change. Sometimes it just looks like showing up.”

What Gets in the Way

Often, it’s not time or resources that hold us back. It’s the idea that small things don’t count.

But resilience doesn’t come from spectacle. It comes from repetition. You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing.

This is a theme I explore in more depth in my book Extra Ordinary Adventures: Building Resilience Through Micro-Adventures. If you’re curious how micro-adventures can support emotional growth, that’s a great place to start.

If you’ve had a micro-adventure lately, I’d love to hear about it in the comments. 🌿

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