Matador Network's Blog, page 2174

Why do the best places get trashed?

IN APRIL 2001, I was on a solo road trip researching Nevada light, sage basins, indigo mountains, and small town casinos for my novel Going Through Ghosts. I’d driven down out of a blizzard in Ely into delicate snow, thin sunlight, and mist rising ahead of me. I stopped in a convenience store for coffee and yakked with the young clerk. She told me there was a warm spring in a nearby cottonwood grove. “Don’t tell anybody where it is,” she said. “It’s for locals only. We take care of it.”

I bought taquitos and my coffee and drove down the little dirt road into the cottonwoods. There was a rock wall around a little pool, a trickle of water running down into a smaller pool. Cress grew along the shore. I was alone. I took off my clothes and stepped into the spring. The water was softly warm. Snow sifted onto my shoulders. I wondered if I would ever again be so purely happy.

Nine years later to the month, I slid back into that silken water. Soft desert sunlight gleamed on the cottonwoods’ new leaves. I listened to the whisper of the old trees and the silvery rill of water trickling into a series of pools below me. The locals had continued to take care of the place. They’d reinforced the crumbling cinderblock walls around the spring. They had set up a bright red battered barbecue grill beneath the biggest cottonwood and a sign that read: Please clean up after yourself. Thank you.

I closed my eyes. I was a two day drive from my old home and less than two days from the not-home to which I had fled. My time in the old home had become a patchwork of finding myself in places and with people that had once been home — and aching with the knowledge that the place was no longer home. I had uprooted myself to a new town that seemed an affluent caricature of the Western Good Life.

Home. Not home. Home. Not home. “Perhaps there is home,” my friend CG had said, “and then there is Home.” I thought of his words as water, sun, and the huge old trees held me. I realized that on this eight-day journey I might have been coming Home. I was closer to being who I’d been in April of 2001 — a woman who had believed she was a local wherever she was. The drive from Flagstaff had taken me through little western towns. That morning I’d eaten eggs and fried potatoes served by a warm-eyed woman in a mom-’n’-pop cafe. The wall behind her had been plastered with bumper stickers attacking Socialists, Healthcareists, both Clintons, both Obamas, Harry Reid, Mexicans, and god-damned global warming nuts. The woman told me about surviving eight months of chemo and how laughter had been her best medicine. I told her of a friend who’d survived the same illness, whose friendship with a wounded eagle had sustained him through chemotherapy. I promised to send her a book. As she hugged me goodbye, I saw over her shoulder a bumper sticker that said: You f–in liberals can’t have my country — or my gun. When I unlocked the trunk of my car to put my pack away, I saw the old sticker I’d put there in 2006: My cats hate Bush.

In Flagstaff and Las Vegas, friends and I talked about our deep apprehension for America. We were stunned to find that more than anything we might fear from the corporate takeover of our country, it was the lockstep thinking of a growing number of our neighbors that chilled our blood. “It’s strange to me,” Kathleen said, “how seemingly kind and decent people can spew so much hate.”

“They probably wonder the same thing about us,” I’d said (in a rare moment of clarity from a woman who often longs for the guillotine and knows better than to ever own a gun.)

My friends and I had talked about the strange phenomenon of violence to wild places — developers who talked about nuking a building site, then mitigating it; wild animal corpses hung on barbed wire fences; dirt bike trails filthy with beer bottles and human shit. “It is as though these people are raging against the earth itself,” I said. “As though they are thinking, ‘Fuck you. I’m bigger than you are.’”

I sank deeper into the warm spring. I thought about how once a friend and I had set boards with nails under the soil of a dirt bike trail and posted signs: Beware. Trail Sabotaged. I grinned and let my thoughts fade away. For a precious time, there was only my body held by the silken water; the miracle of breath moving easily in and out; and the cry of a hawk diving for a kill. I thanked the water and green cottonwood light and climbed out of the pool. I dressed, picked up a couple of beer cans in the parking lot, climbed into the car, and headed home. I wondered when I would come back. I had no doubt I would.

I have just returned from the 2014 book tour for my novel, 29. My friend and I drove away from Reno and ate breakfast in the same café with the rabid bumper stickers. I dumped over my coffee. The tweak-skinny waitress cheerfully mopped it up, grinned and said, “Honey, I’m so buzzed you could have dumped that coffee on me and I would’ve laughed.” We tipped lavishly and got back on the road.

We drove south above the Pahranagat Valley, the brilliant green of cottonwoods lining the White River below. A few miles further my friend said, “There it is.” The cottonwood grove that surrounded the little hot spring lay directly ahead. We pulled onto the dirt road that led in. A gate and barbed wire fence closed the entrance. The sign posted on the gate read: No Trespassing. Closed to the Public.

“What?” my friend said, “Some rich retiree bought it for themselves?”

I shook my head. “Who the fuck knows? Let’s grab a sandwich for the road and ask some questions.”

We filled the car’s tank and walked into the convenience store. A dark-haired middle-aged woman was making sandwiches for a line of locals. We ordered and when she handed over our food, I said, “What happened to Ash Springs?”

She looked up from her work. “Vandals, honey,” she said. “Nobody knows exactly who. They broke the wall around the spring. The people who own the spring decided it was too risky to keep it open.”

“Why…” I started to say. She beat me to it. “Why do people have to be so rotten? Maybe you don’t know, but a bunch of high school kids built that little rock wall around the pool. Did it for free. Did it out of the goodness of their hearts.”

I thank her for letting us know what had happened. We paid for our sandwiches and climbed back in the car. My friend and I were quiet for a long time. We were driving along the marshes between Upper Pahranagat Lake and the lower lake when my friend finally said something. “Maybe we’ll never be in that spring again. Maybe we’ll just have to add Ash Springs to the list of the Once Was.”

Walking across totally clear ice

HAVE YOU EVER WALKED ON THIN AIR? Probably not. But you could come close if you were walking on this Slovakian lake’s unbelievably clear ice. Tomas Nunuk, a hiker from Bratislava, made this video of himself and a friend walking across the lake Velke Hincovo Pleso in Slovakia’s High Tatras Mountains. The ice is so clear that you can see straight to the bottom.

Commenters have, of course, been quick to doubt the authenticity of the video, but it is possible for ice to freeze this clear: if water freezes very quickly due to a sudden drop in temperature, it doesn’t get as cloudy. And Slovakia has recently experienced such a sudden drop in temperature. But it’s very rare that a lake’s ice would get this clear and be thick enough for a man to be able to walk on.

19 things Americans learn when they come to Paris

Photo: Matthew Oliphant

1. The Champs-Élysées is actually like a big, outdoor mall.

Like many people, I had a shimmering vision of the famed street when I arrived in Paris three years ago. Then I found out only chain stores can afford the rent and there are off-putting hoards of tourists and teenagers.

2. Everyone wants to hang out with you…to practice their English.

Like in other big world cities, young people are American culture fiends. So you’re going to have to fight if you want to learn French.

3. You get really weird looks if you ask a cashier how their day is going.

In Paris, you only really get to say “ça va?” to people you know well.

4. Forget accessible metros and escalators. You are on your own for getting that massive suitcase up those looming, multiple flights of stairs.

That said, sometimes the most unlikely people will stop and help you. It really does restore your faith in humanity and Parisians.

5. The only artists in the Sacré-Coeur part of Montmartre are the guys drawing overpriced caricatures…and the pickpockets.

And, dang, those pickpockets are good. One of them once stole my change purse from my bag as I turned my head to look at the price of bananas at a market. True artistry.

6. Every Parisian has been to New York at least once and would love to recount in detail everything they did during their trip there.

Even if, like me, you come from Kansas and know nothing about New York.

7. Shops don’t have bathrooms. And restaurants don’t let you use them. So you’d better memorize the location of every Starbucks and McDonald’s around…or get really good at running in brasseries.

Hint: If you are attempting a pee-and-run strategy, walk into a brasserie and head directly for the stairs, as most bathrooms are downstairs.

8. Your French is starting to get peppered with a lot of verlan slang, which has now transformed from edgy street talk into just plain old Parisian talk.

That creepy guy isn’t louche, he’s chelou. You’re not going to chopper that sexy girl at the bar, you’re going to pécho her!

9. Charles de Gaulle is the most never-ending airport in the world, and you’ve had to walk so far you’ve almost missed your flight.

A close second for the most never-ending experience in Paris is the RER B from the city to the airport. This journey makes you want to die. Especially when the train stops for fifteen minutes in a Parisian banlieue and no one has any idea what is going on. And then it does the same thing at the next stop.

10. In Paris, M&Ms means the peanut ones.

Tracking down the plain ones is a lot harder.

11. Line 13 is the worst metro line ever.

But at least it has automatic guards in some places. A lot of the metros have no guardrails, which sounds like a recipe for a lawsuit. Consequently, you stand very, very far back and watch for people who look like they might shove someone.

12. Everything that you want to do — wire money, get a phone, open a bank account — requires a dossier including enough paperwork to wipe out a significant chunk of the Amazon rainforest.

And what other country has a RIB anyway?

13. Paris is actually pretty small for a world city.

You can walk everywhere — it takes less than two hours to get from one side of the city to the other, and that’s including the odd pit-stop for coffee (provided there are no strikes / protests / terrifyingly enthusiastic sales shoppers in your path).

14. Everything closes early because eating dinner is more important than anything else.

Whatever errands you need to get done, do them on your lunch break or not at all. Then again, some offices also rank lunch pretty highly and will close during lunch time. And everything is closed on Sunday, too. So you might just have to take a day off to get to the post office, bank, or any kind of bureaucracy-related office. Just make sure it isn’t a public holiday when you go.

15. It’s really hard to tell when to transition from bonjour to bonsoir…

When night falls at 4pm in the winter, which one do you say? No idea but guaranteed that the person you are talking to you will respond using the word you didn’t use, just to let you know that you got it wrong.

16. If you want to go shopping at Galeries Lafayette / Printemps / anywhere near Opéra, you learn to get there when it opens, especially during the holidays.

While holiday window displays are beautiful, the hoards of tourists and bona-fide Parisians shopping ‘til they drop are not beautiful and are actually very aggressive. Climbing over what is essentially a brawl to get to the only pair of jeans in your size isn’t as much fun as it probably looks.

17. Most cafés and restaurants still don’t have wifi. Sorry.

And if they do, it often doesn’t work. Once again, sorry.

18. French people adore English gerunds.

Example: Le “parking” (parking lot), le “footing” (jogging), le “jogging” (sweatsuit), le “brushing” (blow dry), le “timing” (timing, as in good timing), le “feeling” (feeling, as in good feeling), etc.

19. Waiting in line outside for three hours just to get your carte de séjour is the worst ever.

Now, why not strike up a conversation with the Moroccan woman with three kids in front of you or the man behind you who is from Congo-Brazzaville and who desperately needs papers to get a job here? And, in case you forgot, you’ll remember how lucky you are to be an American in Paris.

Open this on your phone and you’re standing in Grand Canyon National Park

Coordinates: 36°00’58.3″N 111°58’37.3″W. We are standing on the Tonto Plateau, having hiked three miles down the Grandview Trail from the South Rim of Grand Canyon National Park. Two miles to the north the Coconino Saddle rears up and obscures the canyon rim, and down below, deep in the gorge, the Sockdolager rapids blast through mile 78.5 of the Colorado River.

[Note: Click on image and move cursor or swipe with your finger to see different perspectives. You can also zoom in and out.]

Before us a towering and flower-studded yucca stalk points the way to Horseshoe Mesa where a handful of hikers are making camp. The sun is an hour and a half from setting, the still air is becoming suffused with golden late afternoon light. It’s warm. We hear nothing except the a low and rolling whooooosh of canyon wind against red rock. We are alone.

Across the canyons and chasms to the east, Coronado Butte and Ayer point seem to be filling with a lavender light while westward folds of the park begin to glow yellow-white. Ravens ride the canyon thermals, scooping themselves up with warm canyon winds. We watch as dozens of lumbering bees busy themselves on the yucca stalk and drink from the small yellow blossoms.

For a topographical view of our position, we refer to Google Maps:

What views are you getting today?

Feature image by Matador Ambassador Henry Munter.

30 burliest bungee jumps [PICs]

SINCE ITS MODERN BIRTH in New Zealand in the late 1980s, bungee jumping as extreme sport has seen rapid progression and pushing of boundaries. The current tallest commercial jump is at the Macau Tower 321 meters (1053 feet).

Pretty much anywhere you travel these days, there’s likely to be a bungee jump offered as an ‘activity’ through a local tour operator. Here are some of the most intense to keep an eye out for.

This article was originally published on October 15, 2012.

1

Interlaken, Switzerland

At the Stockhorn Bungy site, you jump out of a gondola 134m (440ft) over the mountain lake of Stocksee. In case you were wondering: "The reason he is in his boxers is because he swam in the lake before this photo was taken."Photo: Alan Light

2

Souleuvre Viaduct, Normandy, France

Located in La Ferrière-Harang, France, the Souleuvre Viaduct was a 1,200ft-long 19th-century railway bridge. All that remains today are the 60m (200ft) stone support towers, which have been commandeered as bungee platform.Photo: Florian Giffard

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3

Kölnbrein Dam, Carinthia, Austria

This dam in southern Austria is 200m (656ft) tall, but you're dropped from the top of a crane that dangles you a good few meters higher.Photo: familiental.com

4

Rjukan, Norway

Norway's "toughest bungee jump" launches from the 84m (275ft) suspension bridge at Vemork. "Skilled jumpers describe the experience as very special and very tough because it is like jumping into a funnel."Photo: ESPEN SJØLINGSTAD HOEN

5

Europabrücke, Tyrol, Austria

Just south of Innsbruck, "Europe's Bridge" spans the Wipp Valley with a length of 777m (2,550ft). The jump platform, set on the underside of the bridge, is 192m (630ft) off the ground -- one of the world's top 5 in height.Photo: eschlbeck.de

6

K2 Tower, Liege, Belgium

Near the town of Liege and easily accessible from Brussels, the K2 Tower is 56m (185ft) and is the only bungee jump in the country.Photo: Insane Focus

7

Verzasca Dam, Switzerland

The dam of Lake Vogorno in Ticino, Switzerland is mainly known for two reasons: 1. being jumped off of by a stuntman in the opening sequence of the James Bond film Goldeneye, and 2. inspired by the movie, becoming the world's third-highest bungee jump at 220m (720ft).Photo: urbantitan.com

8

Val d'Anniviers, Switzerland

Niouc Bridge in Switzerland features a 623 foot jump situated in the beautiful Pennine Alps. Photo: Bungy Niouc

9

Navajo Bridge, Marble Canyon, AZ

The company Bungee Expeditions operates a non-permanent jump site on the Navajo Bridge, which launches from a height of 142m (467ft) above the Colorado River, near the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.Photo: MakeLifeMemorable

10

Santa Eulalia, Peru

Organized trips depart Lima for this jump point at the gorge of Santa Eulalia, which is more of a swing than a true bungee jump -- they call it puenting.Photo: Victor L Antunez

11

Perrine Bridge, ID

At 148m (486ft), this bridge over the Snake River in Twin Falls, Idaho, makes the list of top 10 highest jumps, and is frequently used by BASE jumpers as well. This shot does an awesome job demonstrating the scale of the site.Photo: p.m.graham

12

Bhote Koshi River, Nepal

Nepal's Last Resort jump takes place 160m (520ft) over a river gorge -- one of the highest in the world. Rafting + bungee packages are available from local operators.Photo: plannepal.com

13

The Hague, Netherlands

This is Bungy Jump Centre Scheveningen, with a 60m (200ft) drop over an ocean pier in Den Haag. Walk-ins welcome weekends April-October, plus Wed-Fri in July and August.Photo: oijulia

14

G-Max Reverse Bungee, Singapore

Yes: reverse bungee is a thing. The G-Max in Singapore has a three-person capsule which is shot like a slingshot into the sky. Photo: Choo Yut Shing

15

Kuta Beach, Bali

AJ Hackett operates a 45m (150ft) tower at the popular tourist beach on Bali's south shore. No pressure.Photo: Shreyans Bhansali

16

Fortuna, Costa Rica

With the area around the Arenal volcano being branded an 'adventure travel destination,' there are multiple bungee, swing, and other freefall options in the region.Photo: eslblogcafe

17

Victoria Falls Bridge, Zimbabwe/Zambia

Spanning the international border of the Zambezi River, the bridge has a 111m (365ft) bungee jump. This is where an Australian tourist had her rope snap on New Year's Eve, 2011 -- she free fell into the river and somehow came out alive.Photo: Spy007au

18

Vidraru Dam, Romania

This massive dam on the Arges River in central Romania has a 166m (545ft) jump, one of the highest in Europe.Photo: tudortescoveanu

19

Bloukrans Bridge, South Africa

The world's highest commercial bridge bungee launches from a height of 216m (709ft) above the Bloukrans River. In 2010, it was the site of a new world record for oldest bungee jumper when Mohr Keet, 96, gave it a go.Photo: Kirsten Cater

20

Helsinki, Finland

Every summer, alongside other beach activities, Finns can bungee jump from a crane at a height of 150 meters. Photo: Karva Javi

21

Queenstown, New Zealand

Queenstown's urban jump gives you a sweet view over the city and can be done at night. You jump from 400m (1,310ft) above town, though the drop distance is much less.Photo: m.bjerke

22

Macau Tower

Macau Tower has the world's current highest commercial jump -- 233m (764ft). From Wiki: "The Macau Tower Bungy has a "Guide cable" system that limits swing (the jump is very close to the structure of the tower itself) but does not have any effect on the speed of descent, so this still qualifies the jump for the World Record."Photo: Matador Community member Sakshi Sadhana

23

Verdon Gorges, Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur, France

A 182m (600ft) jump in southeastern France, off of the Pont de l'Artuby.Photo: shivapat

24

Naranjo, Costa Rica

Tropical Bungee has been throwing people off the 80m (265ft) Old Colorado River Bridge since 1991. They run day trips from San Jose, with departures at 8am and 1pm. Photo: Allen Sin

25

Victoria Falls rope swing

This swing takes off from the same platform as the Vic Falls bungee jump (shown above). Matador co-founder Ross Borden says, "I did them both and the rope swing is way scarier and way more fun."Photo: Marcello Arrambide

26

Kawarau Bridge, New Zealand

The birthplace of commercial bungee jumping, first established in the late '80s. At 43m (140ft), the jump's height would be considered short these days, but it probably didn't feel like it to the first person who paid AJ Hackett to tie them to a rope and push them towards the river.Photo: Mombas

27

Rheinkultur Festival, Bonn, Germany

At Rheinkultur in Bonn, they had a crane apparatus that raised you up some 90m (295ft) and waited patiently till you got up the nerve. Bummer that after 30 years, the festival was permanently cancelled in 2012.Photo: Thomas Weidenhaupt

28

Donauturm, Vienna, Austria

On set days in Vienna, you can jump 152m (500ft) off this tower in the middle of the city. Find more info .Photo: chepedaja

29

White Canyon, Lake Powell, UT

There's no permanent setup on this bridge in southern Utah, but you can book with Bungee Expeditions to take you out, which is what these guys did when they needed to shoot for a commercial. Photo: Screenshot from Bungee Jump Lake Powell

30

Pentecost Island, Vanuatu

Where it all came from, and definitely the burliest jump on this list. It was footage of the "land dives" performed by the island's inhabits, brought back by David Attenborough and crew in the '50s, that led to the practice of modern bungee jumping. Pretty incredible tradition worth a closer look. Photo: whl.travel

21 signs you were a punk rock kid

Photo: foxxyz

THE LA and San Francisco punk scenes began flourishing in the 1970s with bands like Black Flag, the Germs, and Dead Kennedys. And as waves of people migrated to tract homes and shopping centers in the suburban sprawl, so did the music.

At its roots, California Punk Rock is still rife with the anti-establishment wails and raw energy that its founders wove into every coarse lyric and chord. Through the decades however, it’s evolved to reflect California’s changing demographic. Adolescent fans in the ‘burbs who couldn’t make it to punk shows in the cities began taking up instruments and staging their own acts. In doing so, they wove bits and pieces of their California lifestyle — predominantly surf and skate culture — into the music, and became part of a movement that has given punk some of its most profound contributors.

Whether you grew up in the city or the suburbs — in California or another place — California Punk Rock may have had a hand in raising you.

1. You’ve lost blood, teeth, or your voice in a Pennywise Bro Hymn mosh pit.

And it didn’t slow you down one bit. Spit out teeth. Sing. Repeat .

2. Bad Religion taught you more about history and vocabulary than high school did.

Why wouldn’t they? Lead singer Greg Graffin landed himself a PhD from Cornell and a professorship at UCLA. He knew what he was talking / singing about and he sounded way less bored than your history teacher. Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure? Well played, Dr Graffin.

3. Dead Kennedys’ album art scared the shit out of you.

In the best way possible. The cover of Plastic Surgery Disasters still haunts me in a way that makes me want to change the world.

4. You weren’t — and probably still aren’t — a fan of authority.

Whether you were waging subtle war with your parents, your school, or the police busting your balls for skateboarding in the Vons parking lot, you could always put on Pennywise or Face to Face and feel like they had your back via headphones.

5. You have, or may have considered getting, a Strung Out Astrolux tattoo.
6. You know what (cartoon) Milo looks like, and are well aware that he went to college.
7. “Possessions never meant anything to me, I’m not crazy…”

You just finished that verse in your head.

8. When someone says Goldfinger, you don’t think of 007.
9. You or someone you know owns Brian Cogan’s Encyclopedia of Punk.
10. Your parents dropped you and your friends off at local punk shows when you were 14.

Or it might have been your friends’ parents. Either way, if the show included songs about the tyranny of parents, I hope you or your friend kept quiet. Also, you should call said parents and let them know how cool they were for giving you a ride.

11. Your belief DIY ethics had nothing to do with Martha Stewart or Bob Villa.

You only needed one more paycheck from In-n-Out to finally buy that four track recorder and then you had it made, Descendents style.

12. You’ve worn a T-shirt for the sole purpose of offending someone.
13. Upon hearing Black Flag, your dad said “that’s not music” and made you listen to the Eagles for three hours.

Rude.

14. A part of you was crushed the day that No Use For A Name’s Tony Sly died.

Way too young. Sometimes I cry when I watch Lagwagon’s Joey Cape cry about it on film.

15. 924 Gilman St.
16. You had a crush on the lead singer from Tsunami Bomb.

Uh, she was a Punk Rock Queen.

17. You had a crush on the lead singer from Pulley.

Uh, he was also a Major League Baseball Player.

18. You can understand what is coming out of Rancid’s Tim Armstrong’s mouth.
19. No matter what you think of Green Day now, you know Dookie was still one of the best sounding punk albums ever released.
20. You’ve been kicked out of a show at House of Blues Anaheim or San Diego.

The bouncer was also 6’6” and 300 pounds of Satan, and he tossed you around like a rag doll. You might have also shouted, “This place isn’t even punk!” To which he laughed and closed the doors on you.

21. You love Punk Rock no matter where it came from.

No matter if it’s from California, Chicago, New York, Florida, Sweden, or Tokyo, if it’s punk and it’s rock, you probably love it. The fact that punk has spread to so many ends of the earth is testament to its collective nature. Do we have our own history and brand in California? Sure, but in the end, it’s all about hearing something and feeling like you have an army of support behind you — and at shows, you often do — regardless of what your qualms or hardships in life are. Provided you’re not being a dick. But we can always write a song about that if need be a la Jello Biafra’s Nazi Punks Fuck Off.

16 images of Buenos Aires street art

Local and foreign street-art talents are attracted to Buenos Aires by the abundance of blank walls and abandoned buildings, as well as the support and acceptance of the art form by the authorities and local community.

There are very few restrictions on street art, compared to other world-class cities. It is easy to paint: there’s no need to obtain authorization from the local authority to change the appearance of a building — all you need is the consent of the property owner. The results are inspiring.

All photos by Buenos Aires Street Art

1

Buenos Aires has developed a reputation as one of the street art capitals of the world.

Many foreign artists are attracted by the abundance of blank walls and abandoned buildings, as well as the support and acceptance of the art form by the authorities and local community that they might not find in their own cities. The Argentine metropolis has become a top destination for international street artists with the likes of Roa (Belgium) (pictured), Blu (Italy), Aryz (Spain), Jef Aerosol (France), Ron English (USA), Stinkfish (Colombia) and Fintan Magee (Australia) visiting the city to paint murals recently.

2

Foreign artists keep contributing, as the city is more welcoming to street art than others.

Spanish graffiti artist Spok visited Buenos Aires in November 2014 and completed this seven-story high mural of a three-headed hydra in five days with Argentine artist Lean Frizzera. Spok, from Madrid, says there is much more freedom to paint in Argentina. “In Madrid it is almost impossible to paint in the street; less people are doing it and you can receive fines of up to 1000 euros,” he says. “In Buenos Aires, street art and graffiti is valued much more and is more socially acceptable.”

3

The city hosts international street art festivals.

International street-art festivals such as Meeting of Styles held twice in Buenos Aires have helped put the city on the map with foreign artists joining forces with homegrown talent. Argentine street artist Martin Ron created this hyper-realistic sea turtle exploding out of a pipe from a factory wall at Meeting of Styles in 2012. The design features an old man accompanied by his dog with the turtle representing his imagination and memories from his life flashing through his mind. It took Ron four days to paint using brushes and latex paint and has become one of the most iconic murals in the city.

4

Buenos Aires’ street art has become a tourist attraction.

Away from more traditional activities such as visiting Recoleta Cemetery, the Casa Rosada, El Caminito, or watching a tango show or football match, the city’s murals have become a big attraction for foreign tourists. Many photographers and street-art fans also come from all over the world to Buenos Aires just to see its murals.


Guided tours explore some of the city’s different neighborhoods and showcase huge artworks by local and international artists, explaining the stories behind them. Buenos Aires Street Art Tours, for example, offers 3 hours tours four times a week (Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays) for about US$20.

5

Giant murals now color neighborhoods like Villa Urquiza, bringing former abandoned buildings to life.

One of the best neighborhoods to see large-scale murals is Villa Urquiza with huge artworks by the likes of Blu, Martin Ron, Lean Frizzera, El Marian, and Gualicho. Two years ago, Villa Urquiza was a wasteland after hundreds of buildings were demolished during the Argentine military dictatorship (1976-1983) to make way for a new motorway that was never built. These derelict and abandoned buildings became a canvas for street artists and graffiti artists to go and splash their colors on. Italian street artist Blu painted three murals in the area and also made much of his award-winning stop-motion movie Muto here between 2007 and 2008.

6

Quiet residential streets are also full of murals (and history).

Coghlan—next to Villa Urquiza—is also a great neighborhood to see murals by local and international artists. Australian street artist Fintan Magee was in Buenos Aires in January 2014. He was planning to visit Rio de Janeiro but decided to stay to do some more painting and wrapped up four murals in a fortnight. This three-and-a-half story mural on the façade of an architectural design studio is the biggest and is entitled “The Displaced.” It depicts a woman wading through water with a chicken on her back. It relates to the devastating floods in 2011 that ravaged Magee’s home city of Brisbane and also the torrential rains in Buenos Aires in April 2013 that claimed the lives of more than 99 people.

7

Street art invades the underground world as well.

The increase in popularity of urban art has also coincided with the growth of public-art projects, in particular new murals in metro stations. Since 2013, more than a dozen ‘subte’ stations around the city have been transformed by different artists with the idea of improving the spaces for commuters. One of the busiest is Federico Lacroze in the neighbourhood of Chacarita—famous for its huge cemetery where the remains of Argentine tango legend Carlos Gardel lie. In September 2014, nine artists Animalito Land, Ice, Oz Montania, Luxor, El Marian, Jiant, Malegria, and Primo painted spectacular murals along two platforms measuring 110 meters and 90 meters respectively. The designs feature a jungle and a rain forest with animals, plants, and indigenous tribesmen.

8

It is easy to paint walls when all you need is the owner’s consent.

One of the main reasons you see so much street art In Buenos Aires is because it’s easy to paint. There’s no need to obtain authorization from the local authority to change the appearance of a building—all you need is the consent of the property owner. Many owners have a special relationship with artists and are open to having their houses painted particularly if the new artwork covers up unsightly tags, names of football teams, or political propaganda.


Chilean artist Ren was in Buenos Aires to take part in a graffiti festival in October 2014 and found time to paint this mural in Coghlan with consent from local residents Guillermina and José (pictured). Ren specializes in painting birds and animals. Guillermina liked the idea of painting a horse, her daughter Flor fancied a tiger but Ren chose to paint a peacock instead. The family was delighted with how it turned out and said it has added more color and life to their street.

9

And there are almost no restrictions on what you can paint.

Building owners will often pay artists to paint their houses, and local businesses regularly commission artists to decorate their shop fronts and metal shutters. A mural by a well-known international street artist can cost a few thousand dollars depending on the complexity of the artwork and size of the wall. Some artists will sometimes offer to paint a house for free if it is a good wall in a prominent location and the owner covers the cost of the materials. In this case, Alberto (the owner of this house in Villa Urquiza) allowed Ice to paint what he wanted and he chose to paint a samurai battle scene. Pretty much anything goes in terms of the theme as long as the artwork doesn’t offend the neighbors.

10

Property owners and neighbors are included in the picture, creating “espejos urbanos."

Argentine muralist Alfredo Segatori likes to paint buildings featuring portraits of the very people who have given him permission to paint them, and he refers to the style of his artworks as “espejos urbanos” or urban mirrors. He has been painting a mural on one side of this metal factory (above) and it has helped rejuvenate a run-down part of town. It was all painted in aerosol with consent from the factory owner and features portraits of real-life workers from the plant like Ramon (center), neighbors, pets, and even the artist’s son, Teo, with the world in his hand.

11

It is not just guys that are painting…girls are in the scene, too.

In Buenos Aires, there are hundreds of street artists and graffiti artists but it’s not just the men, the chicas are also getting in on the act. Most are between 20 and 35 years old, and a number of artists like Carolina Cuore (pictured) have studied fine art and painting at university. Others are graphic designers or tattoo artists. They all enjoy using the urban landscape as their canvas.

12

There is freedom for politically motivated works.

Italian street artist Blu came to Buenos Aires in 2011 and painted a politically charged mural showing hundreds of people with their eyes covered by one continuous blindfold in the colors of the Argentine flag. However, very few murals by street artists in Argentina are politically motivated. The artists prefer to express themselves in their own way through their art, they have their own unique styles with color and creative energy—painting cartoon characters, animals, monsters, portraits, 3-D cubes, geometric forms, and abstract compositions or traditional graffiti.

13

Argentine icons get re-interpreted over and over again...

Murals depicting famous Argentines such as Che Guevara or Evita can also be found around the city. This mural of “El Che” was painted in San Telmo on Balcarce Street and has the phrase “For love, use a condom." It was painted by the group Fileteadores de Conurbano as part of a campaign to raise awareness about sexually transmitted diseases and the importance of wearing condoms.

14

Including, of course, stencils and murals of futbol legends.

Something would definitely be amiss if there weren’t images of Diego Maradona and football-themed graffiti on the streets. Numerous stencils of “El Dios” can be found around the neighborhood of La Boca and close to La Bombonera stadium and also at the Diego Armando Maradona Stadium, home to the ex-footballer’s first professional club, Argentinos Juniors in the district of La Paternal. And in Palermo near the Hippodrome you can also see a mural depicting Maradona’s controversial ‘Hand of God' goal.


Stencils of four-time World Footballer of the Year Lionel Messi can be seen around the city but artworks featuring Maradona are easier to find. More street art depicting Messi can also be found in the city of Rosario, where he grew up.

15

New and old culture are mixed together.

Well-known painter Marino Santa Maria has created more than half a dozen colorful portraits of tango legend Carlos Gardel around the neighborhood of Abasto close to where the singer nicknamed ‘the Magician’ and ‘Song thrush’ once lived along Jean Jaures Street. Argentina’s most distinctive musical style, the tango, lives in both queer and traditional milongas, in old-fashioned records and in electronic tango, and now, in many new artworks around the city.

16

Street art spreads to other cities.

The city of Buenos Aires isn’t the only place to find good street art. La Plata, the provincial capital of Buenos Aires, is an urban landscape where there are plenty of walls to paint in run-down areas. Luxor (above) and Acra are two of the best-known artists in La Plata and have painted hundreds of buildings around the city including the walls and courtyards of numerous local schools. The duo also organized an international street art festival in the city in October 2013.

33 lies about Sun Valley, Idaho

Photo courtesy of Sun Valley

1. “There’s nowhere to ski fast on this mountain.”

The Sun Valley Ski Team routinely trains some of the fastest skiers in the country on Baldy’s slopes, and athletes easily break 70mph on their morning speed laps down Warm Springs. If speed on snow is your game, there’s no better place to be in the world.

2. “I can’t find a good place to eat.”

For a small town in the middle of Idaho, the number of high-quality restaurants in Sun Valley is unreal. There are too many to name them all, but my picks include Michel’s Christiania for French food, Konditorei for spätzle, La Cabanita for legit Mexican, and Rickshaw for Asian fusion. Then there’s my all-time favorite sushi bar in the mountains — Sushi on Second. Admittedly this is a biased choice, as I used to roll sushi here, but even after all those years working in the kitchen it’s still my favorite place to eat in town. And no visit to Sun Valley is complete without stopping in at the iconic Pioneer Saloon.

3. “There’s nowhere to party around here.”

Said absolutely no one ever in Sun Valley. From its rowdy mining days in the early 20th century right through to the post-millennial madness of today, the valley has always known how to throw a damn good party.

4. “Groomed runs are boring.”

Groomed runs are often decried as being too easy, or they’re simply used as a way to get around the mountain to better skiing. Not in Sun Valley. Thanks to the nightly efforts of a stellar cat crew driving the very best in high-tech machinery, the groomed run has been elevated to high art, and on many days it’s the star of the show. There’s something truly special about riding Warm Springs (a top-to-bottom run that drops over 3,000 vertical feet in under 3 miles of sustained pitch) at 9am on a crystal clear morning over perfect corduroy.

Photo courtesy of Sun Valley

5. “Isn’t Idaho all potato fields?”

Idaho does indeed grow some of the finest taters in the world, but it’s also home to the largest roadless area in the Lower 48 (Frank-Church River of No Return Wilderness) and — count ‘em — 114 mountain ranges.

6. “This place has no culture.”

Sun Valley has always punched way above its weight in terms of culture — world-class symphonies, jazz festivals, film festivals, art galleries, theater companies, car shows, and concerts are just a small portion of the cultural happenings in town throughout the year.

7. “This mountain is really flat.”

With a vertical drop of 3,400 feet and hardly any flat spots from summit to town, Bald Mountain’s consistent pitch is one of its most prized features. Point your skis or board in any direction off the summit, and gravity will do the rest.

8. “There isn’t much variety on this mountain.”

Along with the consistent pitch, the variety of terrain is nothing short of classic. From expansive groomers to steep technical tree shots, wide bowls, and famous mogul runs like Exhibition and Holiday, all of which can be hit on a single run down, Sun Valley is super diverse.

9. “These views are…all right.”

The panoramic views of the Wood River Valley and surrounding mountain ranges from the top of Baldy are ridiculous. On a clear day, it’s the kind of scenery that forces even the most jaded modern technophile’s jaw to drop. 20+ years in town and the views still make me shake my head.

Photo: Lisa Wood

10. “It’s really hard to get around without a car.”

No car? No problem. During the season, there’s a free bus system that runs every 15 minutes and goes pretty much everywhere you need to go — from your hotel to the mountain, into town, to the grocery store, the restaurants, bars — they’re all steps from a bus stop.

11. “I spent all day waiting in lift lines.”

There’s nothing worse than forking over your hard-earned money on a lift ticket, only to spend the better part of the day waiting in long, chaotic lines. But the combination of Sun Valley’s fleet of high-speed lifts and fewer people on the mountain than at many other resorts equates to an experience that’ll test your leg strength, not your patience.

12. “There’s nothing for our kids to do here.”

Sun Valley is a perfect mountain for families, and the options for kids reads like fantasy. World-class SPT (Snow Park Technologies) park and pipe, tubing and sledding on Dollar Mountain, ice skating rinks, sleigh rides, art classes, movie theaters, a bowling alley, giant hot pools, a top-shelf ski school that specializes in showing kids how to have fun on the mountain…the list goes on. The only problem is getting them to leave.

13. “There’s no good live music here.”

Once again we find the small community of Sun Valley punching above its weight — this time when it comes to live music. From local bands like Old Death Whisper and the Sheep Bridge Jumpers who play rocking local bars and house parties, to large acts like Willie Nelson, the reggae festival Marley in the Mountains, and EDM festival MASSV, and a consistent stream of visiting performers lighting up the stage and dance floor at Whiskey Jacques, there’s live music for all tastes.

14. “These bars aren’t any fun.”

There’s always something cool about a bunch of bars being close together, and it makes cruising from spot to spot on foot the preferred method in Sun Valley, even in the middle of winter. Sample local craft beers at the Sawtooth Brewery, catch the end of the ball game at Lefty’s Bar & Grill, share a schooner with the local crew at Grumpy’s, sip fine wine in front of the fire at the SV Wine Company, play shuffle puck at the Cellar Irish Pub, drink a craft cocktail at Cornerstone, play darts with the ghost of Papa Hemingway in the Sawtooth Club, tear up the dance floor at Whiskey Jacques, or just plain rage at the Casino Club. Pick your poison.

15. “Manmade snow isn’t any good.”

It’s called Sun Valley for a reason, and the high desert climate that creates those endless blue-sky days isn’t always conducive to large amounts of snow. Not to worry — the sprawling state-of-the-art snowmaking system that covers 31% of the valley’s 2,054 skiable acres produces something way more awesome than the bulletproof ice of yesteryear’s manmade snow. Through continuous measurement of temperature and humidity, and a computer system that adjusts to current conditions, the term ‘gunpowder’ is often used to describe the smooth and silky result that keeps the skiing good even during the most brutal dry spells.

16. “There’s nothing to do besides ski.”

Sun Valley ain’t no one-trick winter pony, so when your legs are screaming at you to take a break from the mountain, the options are many. Put those lungs to work on the 100+ miles of Nordic ski trails that crisscross the valley, indulge in a massage and spa treatment, strap on a pair of snowshoes and explore silent winter forests, head over Galena Summit and rent a snowmobile, post up by a giant fireplace with a good book, catch a movie or show…and did I mention this place likes to party?

17. “Where’s the mountain?”

Visible from nearly everywhere, Bald Mountain is the centerpiece that Sun Valley Resort and the town of Ketchum are built around. Getting to the lifts is as easy as jumping on the next bus for a five-minute ride, and getting lost is nearly impossible.

18. “I’m sick of shoveling snow.”

With an average snowfall of 220 inches, every inch is a precious commodity and treated as such. During a good storm cycle, shoveling out the car or front door is met with glee because you know blue-sky days will be back soon enough.

19. “I’m never coming back.”

One of my favorite statistics about Sun Valley is the amount of return visitors. According to the numbers I was able to dig up, 95% of people who visit Sun Valley plan to return, and many make the trip every year. This kind of loyalty speaks volumes about the quality of experience Sun Valley provides — kinda like you’ve been let in on a secret during your first visit.

Photo: Author

20. “What are the Winter Olympics?”

Sun Valley claims a long line of local Winter Olympians, including 1948 Gold medalist Gretchen Fraser, 1984 Silver medalist Christin Cooper, and 1998 Gold medalist Picabo Street. Just last year Sun Valley girl Kaitlyn Farrington brought the Olympic Gold home from Sochi in the Women’s Snowboard Halfpipe, giving the town the perfect excuse to throw a weeklong party.

21. “It takes forever to get from town to the mountain.”

No long shuttle ride or drive up a sketchy mountain pass here. Five minutes on a free bus and you’re at the lifts.

22. “Tuning your skis / board is a waste of time.”

The consistent pitch of Bald Mountain creates a haven for speed, and nothing is worse than trying to harness that speed on dull edges or a sticky base. Some of the finest ski technicians in the world call Sun Valley home, and getting a proper tune on your equipment is essential (and easy).

23. “Nobody interesting lives here.”

From the days of Hemingway furiously banging out the final draft of For Whom the Bell Tolls in room 206 of the Sun Valley Lodge, to the legendary exploits of Steve McQueen, Sun Valley has always attracted interesting people. And given the host of industry magnates, politicians, celebrities, and world-class athletes who spend time in the valley today, you never know who the person sitting next to you on the chairlift might be.

24. “Why did someone pick this place to build a ski resort?”

In the winter of 1935, the Union Pacific Railroad chairman W. Averell Harriman employed Austrian count Felix Schaffgotsch to travel across the Western US in search of the perfect site for a winter resort. The count toured everywhere from Mount Rainier to Yosemite to Jackson Hole, and was about to give up when he by chance decided to check out the area around Ketchum in central Idaho. At Bald Mountain, Schaffgotsch found snowfall, tons of sunshine, no wind, and moderate elevation — in short — the perfect site for a killer ski resort. Seven months later, the original Sun Valley Lodge was born.

25. “There isn’t any good shopping here.”

Galleries, boutiques, hip stores…the variety of places to shop in Ketchum and Sun Valley is insane.

26. “I know exactly what this storm will be like.”

Winter storms are strange beasts. Even with today’s advanced forecasting techniques, predicting their behavior is a difficult game. The storm watching usually begins when an area of low pressure forms in the Northern Pacific and begins its eastern march. Jet streams are analyzed and predictions made, but what happens as that storm makes its way inland from the Pacific is often unpredictable — a storm that was expected to drop 6-12 inches may leave only a dusting, while another one that was supposed to drop just 1-3 inches leaves two feet of fresh snow in its wake.

27. “The locals are so unfriendly.”

Living in a place surrounded by so much natural beauty must rub off on local residents — you’d be hard pressed to find a friendlier group of people than those who call Sun Valley home. Whether they’re born and bred or just arrived for their first winter, everyone’s here because they love it.

Photo: Homini

28. “This place feels overdeveloped.”

Many years ago, some very wise men and women on the Ketchum / Sun Valley city council created a “hillside ordinance” that prohibited the building of any structure on the hillsides and ridgelines throughout the Wood River Valley. While the often-debated ordinance has made real estate scarce, it’s kept unfettered views aplenty. If you’ve ever seen rampant development gobbling up hillsides and ridgelines in mountain towns, Sun Valley is an incredibly refreshing change.

29. “There’s a freeway running through town.”

The Sawtooth Scenic Byway (part of Idaho State Highway 75) does run through town, but it’s a far cry from I-70. Winding its way underneath the Whitecloud and Sawtooth mountain ranges, the 75 follows the Salmon River to its headwaters before climbing over Galena Summit and dropping alongside the Big Wood River, eventually reaching the prairie land of southern Idaho. Just driving the highway is a sweet activity that’s way more likely to provide wildlife sightings and gorgeous views than road rage or traffic jams.

30. “What’s après-ski?”

Nothing in the world beats sharing drinks and stories with friends after a beautiful day on the mountain, and the après-ski tradition in Sun Valley runs generations deep. To see true après in all its glory, head to Warm Springs, or my all-time favorite spot: Apple’s Bar and Grill. It doesn’t really matter how or where you après in Sun Valley, so long as you get in amongst it.

31. “There’s no backcountry around here.”

The secret has been out for quite a while now — central Idaho holds some of the best backcountry ski and snowboard terrain in the world, with five distinct ranges and seemingly endless peaks within striking distance of the resort. Make sure to check in with Sawtooth Avalanche Center for snow conditions, and if you really want to score the best snow possible, hire one of the guides from Sawtooth Mountain Guides to get you out into the goods and home safely and smoothly.

32. “Can you heliski here?”

Sun Valley Heli Ski pioneered American heliskiing in 1966, and has set the standard for the 58 years since. They operate within the largest permit area in the US, covering three mountain ranges and over 750,000 skiable acres for all abilities. They can even pick you and your group up on top of the resort, which makes for what might be the best powder day ever. Just imagine a morning skiing Baldy’s glades and bowls, then the whirlybird swoops you up and into an afternoon of untracked glory runs.

33. “The weather here’s terrible.”

There’s a reason for the name Sun Valley. With around 250 days of sunshine a year, the high desert climate also has an uncanny ability for producing storms that hit at night and are gone by the morning, meaning that the average snowfall of over 220 inches doesn’t interfere much with those 250 clear days. Don’t forget your sunscreen!

This post is proudly produced in partnership with our friends at Sun Valley Resort.

Photo: Author

A trans* guide for safe travels

Photo: Little Orange Crow

As trans* people gain more acceptance in the cultural mainstream, travel is becoming more accessible for our community. Mainstream success means more targeted advertisements and marketing for the trans* community, as exemplified by this past summer, when the first-ever trans* cruise set sail in the Caribbean. While this is great for trans* visibility, there are concerns about safety and privacy.

Recently, the Fort Lauderdale Tourism Association released a study on the wants and needs of trans* people while traveling. According to their research, safety is the biggest determining factor in selecting a vacation destination. The tourism industry has been doing research on gay-and-lesbian travel for years, but this is the first time anyone has taken an in-depth look at the travel needs of the trans* community. Knowing your rights and doing your research are the best ways to be prepared. Below we’ve listed our tips and pointers for having a safe and fun vacation.

1. Get your official documents in order.

To make flight reservations you are required to submit your full name, date of birth, and gender. In order to decrease chances of being delayed by TSA, you should use the information as it appears on your passport or government-issued photo ID. If you no longer look like the picture on your ID, try to get a new copy before you travel. If you can’t get a new copy, carry a note from your doctor explaining why your appearance has changed.

2. Know the rules for traveling with needles.

If you are planning on traveling with needles, syringes, or hormones, you must have proof that they are prescribed. A professional pharmaceutical label and original box must accompany any prescribed medications. Notify the TSA that you are traveling with medication and syringes as prescribed by your doctor. Maintain all of your medical supplies in one bag for easy screening. Ask flight crew to store your hormones in the refrigerator if they are required to be chilled. If that’s not possible, bring a thermos to keep them at a safe temperature. Keep any pills in a safe, dry place and never freeze any of your hormone vials.

3. Know your rights before going through airport security.

Passengers at most airports are asked to go through metal detectors and the Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) booth. AIT is voluntary and travelers may opt out of the imaging process. If you opt out, or one of the machines detects something unusual, you will be required to go through a pat down with a security officer. The officer will match the gender of whatever is stated on your government-issued identification. Many airports are using the Rapiscan Secure 1000. This AIT machine will show the TSA agent an image of your naked body and any binding garments or prosthetics you are using. If you’re selected, you’re entitled to request a private screening. If you opt for the private screening, bring a friend with you. You have the right to speak with a supervisor at anytime during the screening.

If you’ve experienced unprofessional conduct of any kind from a TSA agent, you can file a complaint with the Office of Civil Liberties.

4. Decide what to do with prosthetics.

Travelers should never be asked to remove any article of clothing. This goes for prosthetics as well. TSA agents are not allowed to ask you to remove anything you might be wearing. If you are traveling with a prosthetic in your carry-on luggage, you may ask for a private screening. If you are a transman who packs regularly, make sure your packing piece is free of any metal parts. Also, be aware that a heavily bounded chest can raise concerns because it may appear that the passenger is hiding something underneath the wrap.

5. Choose the right clothing.

You have the right to wear and present yourself in any way that you would like, as long as you don’t obscure your face. Be mindful that some clothing will attract more unwanted and unfair attention than necessary. Clothing with metal built into it will set off the metal detector and create more of a hassle. So try to avoid binders, corsets, bras, and jewelry with metal pieces while traveling.

6. Have a safe-sex game plan before leaving home.

Bringing condoms, lube and other forms of protection with you while traveling is smart practice. If you plan to buy condoms in other countries, be aware that there will be differences and the labeling might be in a different language — making it difficult for you to discern specifics. If you can’t bring your own, do as much research as you can on the products available beforehand. Try to find brands that are approved by the FDA.

7. Research politics and laws ahead of time.

It’s illegal to be gay in 82 countries. The majority of the world does not understand the difference between gender and sexuality. Some trans* people might be identified as LGBT, and therefore denied access into certain countries. Study the laws and policies of the areas you are traveling. No one should be forced to miss out on the wonders of the world based on their sexual orientation, gender identity, or expression. Be mindful of the policies of the country and go with what feels best for you.

A note on sex toys: In some countries, traveling with sexually explicit material can be used as evidence of sex work, which may result in detainment. Trans* people are often unfairly targeted. Be aware that in recent years, there have been several instances where people have used sex toys to victimize LGBT travelers. One couple was the victim of an alleged hate crime by TSA agents and another couple was arrested in Malaysia for being in possession of a sex toy. Keep in mind that traveling with these items is illegal in some countries. So be very cautious and do your homework before crossing borders with anything you think might be questionable.

8. Traveling with friends will increase your safety.

The strength in numbers cliché comes to mind here because it’s true. You are much more likely to feel safe and comfortable if you are traveling with a friend or small group. Try to avoid walking alone after dark. It’s sad that this tip needs to be included but the reality is that walking alone after dark in an unfamiliar place can lead to dangerous outcomes — for anyone. Use your judgment and opt for taking a cab if possible rather than walking solo. Always carry a cell phone, extra cab money, and your emergency-contact information. Tell people where you are going and be mindful while exploring alone.

*Why the asterisk in trans*? Because trans* is one word for a variety of identities (transgender, transsexual, etc.) that are incredibly diverse, but share a common denominator, the prefix trans. Read more here.

25 signs you're culturally Canadian

Photo: Shandi-Lee

1. You can spell Saskatchewan without any help (Sam And Sue Kiss At The Church Hall Every Wednesday After Noon).

2. Your cell phone plan is costing you an arm and a leg.

3. You’ve learnt to embrace fall. You don’t even notice the rain and the grey skies any longer, all you can see is the golden and copper maple-covered hills. Even raking the never-ending layers of leaves has become a pleasure!

4. You get your cheese and booze south of the border.

5. You wear your toque indoors. After hours of wearing it outside, you hair looks like a bird’s nest, so might as well keep it on.

6. You say “eh?” instead of “right?” but you never say “aboot” because that’s a myth.

7. You’ve developed an unhealthy affection for Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys.

8. You got used to the bears hanging around your neighbourhood.

9. You dream of taking the train across the country but each time you look at the rates on the VIA Rail website, you realize you’ll have to think again.

10. You know the difference between Canadian football and American football, but you still hate to stay seated for hours watching a game.

11. You used to be in love with Jian Ghomeshi. You listened to his show every day and always gave a little shiver when he’d say, “Happy Thursday”. Now, he grosses you out.

12. You’ve invested in a bunch of plaid, flannel shirts. Not only are they warm and indestructible, but they give you that great Canadian look that’s all the rage.

13. You know what a “Persian” is. You also know how unhealthy it is, but by God, is it ever good!

14. Your footwear is covered with anti-slip ice cleats 6 months out of the year.

15. You can’t help but point out the Canadians in every American movie you watch.

16. You can’t stand Nickelback.

17. You know that Netflix US is the way to go.

18. Your winter daily workout consists of a feet of snow, a shovel, and a broom.

19. Shelagh Rogers is your cultural adviser.

20. Those new plastic bills drive you crazy — they can’t be folded and they stick together.

21. When it comes to winter weather, you know that the poor people of Saskatoon have it worse than you.

22. You never shop at Roots. It’s an overpriced tourist trap.

23. The cold water of the glacier-fed lakes doesn’t bother you any longer, especially when the thermometer hits 35°C in August.

24. You’ve read most of Alice Munro’s books…but only since she received the Nobel Prize in literature.

25. Your heart pinches and your eyes get wet when you hear the national anthem…In English and in French!