Michael Hyatt's Blog, page 26

How to Get Out of That Funk

5 Simple Tricks to Tame Your Mood and Tackle Your Day

Do you ever find yourself in a funk? I sure do. Once I was on the road, preparing to deliver a speech. I love speaking, but I was experiencing an unusual amount of distraction and self-doubt.

I had about four hours before I went on stage. So, I decided to call my wife, Gail.

A Call for Help

She instantly knew I wasn’t in a good place. (This is one of the many benefits of long-term marriage. My wife can read me like a book.)

“Okay,” she said after listening to me whine for a few minutes. “I want you to hang up and go for a run. Call me when you are done.”

I was tempted to blow her off, but I knew in my heart that she was right. I needed a big shift in my emotional state. And it wasn’t going to just happen. I needed to do something.

So I laced up and headed outside.

When I called her an hour later, everything had changed. My emotional state had shifted—dramatically. I was focused, alert, and upbeat. I had a can-do attitude.

Motion Drives Emotion

This was a good reminder of something we had learned years ago from Tony Robbins: Emotion is created by motion.

If you want to change your emotional state, often all that’s necessary is to change your physiology. I have experienced this firsthand again and again.

Don’t believe me? Try this:

Slouch in your chair
Round your shoulders
Take shallow breaths
Close your eyes
Frown and then sigh

If you’re like me, almost immediately you’ll start feeling down—maybe even a little discouraged. As it turns out, discouragement and sadness have specific physical manifestations.

But so does joy and confidence.

This is why you can look at someone and say, “You look like you are having a difficult day.” Or conversely, “Wow. You look like you are on top of the world!”

5 Tricks to Boost Your Mood

Over the years, I have learned (and Gail periodically reminds me) that I can change my emotional state for the better by focusing on my physiology rather than my emotions.

So can you. Try these five simple tricks.

Put on some upbeat music. This can dramatically alter your mood, because of the memories you associate with certain tunes. Research also shows that energetic music ups your energy when you exercise. Gail has a playlist, Music for an Outstanding Day. Here’s a Spotify link if you want to listen along. It’s awesome!

Stand up and stretch. Try to reach the ceiling. Get on your tippy-toes. If you are brave—and no one else is around—jump up and down for sixty seconds. Shake it out. Rotate your neck. Look up. One solution that I use and love is a standup desk.

Take several deep breaths. Oxygenating the blood makes you more alert and awake. Close your eyes and concentrate on breathing. Draw the air deep into your diaphragm (or gut). This is a great way to forget about what has you down or afraid.

Get your body in motion. The more vigorous you can move the better. Go for a run, a bicycle ride, or simply a walk—preferably outdoors. This stimulates your blood flow and gets oxygen to your whole body. If you do it long enough, your brain will release endorphins that elevate your mood.

Focus on the positive. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). Think strong, positive thoughts. Affirm what you know to be true. Give thanks for what you have rather than what you don’t. Shift your internal narration to what you get to do rather than what you have to do.

I usually leverage these tricks a few times a day. It gives me the energy and emotional boost I need to be productive and stay productive all day long.

3 Reasons You Can’t Stop Working

Good leaders can handle a lot of responsibility. In fact, they thrive on it. But that can lead to the most under-diagnosed condition in our culture: workaholism. Often, this goes undetected until it results in a personal or relational crisis.

The Difference Between Trying and Doing

​How to Turn Attempts into Accomplishments

There’s an instructive scene in the Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back. Yoda is instructing Luke Skywalker in how to use the Force. He asks Luke to retrieve his disabled spaceship out of a bog where it has sunk, using only his mind.

Luke, of course, thinks this is impossible. Sure, he has been able to move stones around this way. But a spaceship? That’s completely different. Or is it?

Yoda patiently explains that it is only different in his mind. Luke reluctantly agrees to “give it a try.”

Yoda famously says, “No. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

If you can’t see this video in your RSS reader or email, then click here.
Why Trying Doesn’t Work

Tony Robbins gave similar advice to a woman who was struggling in her marriage. She stood up in one of his seminars to ask a question. She complained that she had “tried everything” to improve her relationship with her husband but nothing had changed.

Tony went on to make a distinction that I think is vitally important. He asked the woman to try to pick up the chair she was sitting in. She turned around and picked up the chair.

Tony said, “No, you picked it up. I said try to pick it up.”

The woman looked confused. Tony reiterated, “Try to pick it up.” The woman just stood there, not knowing what to do.

Tony continued, “No, now you’re not picking it up. I said try to pick it up.” Again, she picked up the chair.

Again, Tony, said, “No, you picked up the chair. I asked you to try and pick it up. You either pick it up, you don’t pick it up, or you try to pick it up.”

Just Stop Trying

The point is that when we say we are trying we don’t really have to do anything. It also provides us with an excuse for why we didn’t accomplish the outcome we say we want.

Do you understand the difference? You either do something or you don’t do it. Trying is really the same as not doing it. It just makes it easier for us to let ourselves off the hook when we fail.

Where are you trying to improve?

Are you trying to get in shape—or are you getting in shape?
Are you trying to improve your marriage—or are improving your marriage?
Are you trying to make more sales calls—or are you making more sales calls?

This may sound like a small distinction, but it has huge ramifications.

3 Suggestions

Maybe it’s time to quit trying and just do it. Here are three suggestions:

1. Eliminate the word try from your vocabulary. Language is subtle. The words we use can program us to perform certain ways. Using the wrong language can create an outcome we don’t intend.

Try is a worthless word that accomplishes nothing. It might make us feel better when we fail, but it actually induces the kind of behavior that leads to failure.

2. Decide either to do or not do. If you don’t want to do something, fine. Don’t do it. But don’t pretend that trying is the same as doing. They are completely different postures.

This is what Yoda was telling Luke. Everything important we accomplish begins with decision. We don’t slip into our greatest achievements. We commit and then make them happen.

3. Commit 100 percent to the outcome you want. As the project manager in Apollo 13 said, “Failure is not an option.” Play full out. Don’t quit. Don’t settle for merely trying.

Remember the point behind suggestion No. 1 above. Language is subtle. When we get comfortable with trying, even a bit, we open the possibility of failure because we make it respectable to walk off the field before the whistle blows. Don’t give yourself the out.

As Yoda suggested to Luke, the difference may only be in your mind, but it has a dramatic impact on the outcome of whatever you set out to do.

How to Stay Mentally Fit

Leaders love to see progress. But growth brings a whole new set of problems. You may find yourself stuck in reaction mode, feeling more like a fireman than a leader. Dealing with problems all day can drain your mental energy. After awhile, you may have no bandwidth left for vision and strategy.

5 Steps to Developing More Discipline

How to Remove the Obstacles to Your Success

I have been thinking a lot about discipline lately. Everyone knows you can’t succeed without it, yet few people seem to possess it.

“Can you make yourself do something you don’t want to do in order to get a result you really want?” That’s a question my friend Andy Andrews likes to ask. And if you can answer yes, then you are disciplined—at least in that area. But what’s the key?

It’s focusing on a result you really want. In this sense, the key to discipline is goal-setting.

Over the years, I have found that I can become disciplined in any area of my life by taking five specific steps. Whether it is trying to get in shape, maintain a blog, or develop a great marriage, the psychology is the same.

Step 1: Determine Your Goal

Notice in Andy’s definition that the key is in knowing what you really want. If you are going to succeed, you must be specific. You must be able to see it. Write it down and—while you are at it—add a “by when” date.

Here’s an example: I will lose 10 pounds of by December 31, 2016. I’ll use this example for the rest of the post so you can see how the steps relate.

Step 2: List Your Reasons

This is often the missing piece in both goal-setting and discipline. You have to ask, “Why is this goal important? What is at stake in my achieving it?” I list both the positive reasons and the negative.

Examples:

I want more energy.
I want to lower my cholesterol.
I don’t want to put myself at risk for heart disease.
I want to look more trim, especially on video.
I want to demonstrate that I can lead myself.
I want to be a good example to my family.

Step 3: Identify Likely Obstacles

As soon as you start swimming against the current, you will start feeling resistance. It’s as if the universe conspires to keep you from succeeding. That’s why you have to anticipate these obstacles and build strategies to overcome them.

Examples:

Obstacle: Mindlessly eating for lunch what I always eat.
Strategy: Plan my lunch before I leave the house—where and what I will eat.

Obstacle: Inability to work out on the road.
Strategy: Make sure the hotel has a workout room before I book it. Also, pack my workout clothes and shoes.

Obstacle: Eating more calories than I intend.
Strategy: Record everything in LoseIt, thus educating myself about the calorie-count of various foods.

Researchers call these strategies implementation intentions. And they work.

Step 4: Develop New Behaviors

This is where you should focus. What are the positive, new behaviors you want to develop to replace the old, negative behaviors.

Examples:

Drink two-and-a-half liters of water a day to stay hydrated.
Eat healthy snacks like raw almonds, celery, carrots, and so on.
Share entrees with Gail when we eat out, so that I eat half the normal serving.
Chose simple grilled fish or chicken, rather than beef.

Step 5: Stay Focused

Read your goals daily, review your reasons why, anticipate obstacles, and work on your new behaviors. If you get off-track, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes it’s three steps forward and two steps back. The trick is to shake it off and re-lock on your goal.

You might also consider changing your strategy to get there. My daughter, and our company COO, Megan Hyatt Miller wrote about that here.

Examples:

If I injure my ankle and can’t run, I could switch to swimming.
If I hit a weight-loss plateau, I can change up my diet or my exercise routine.
If I can’t get traction on my own, I’ll research and hire a personal trainer.

Discipline is not really about will power so much as focusing on what you really want. If you get clear on that, it suddenly becomes much easier.

How to Create More Margin in Your Personal Life

Every leader needs a full and balanced life to be fully effective. But when you leave work, it can feel like you’re going to your second job—home. Managing a household takes a ton of energy. It can leave you with no gas in the tank for personal interests or actually spending time with your family. 

How to Create More Margin in Personal Life

Every leader needs a full and balanced life to be fully effective. But when you leave work, it can feel like you’re going to your second job—home. Managing a household takes a ton of energy. It can leave you with no gas in the tank for personal interests or actually spending time with your family. 

How Our Words Impact Others

Harnessing the Power of the Tongue

Our words carry enormous weight. More than we sometimes think. They often impact people for decades, providing either the courage to press on or one more reason to give up.

When I was fourteen, my family moved from Nebraska to Texas. It was the middle of my ninth-grade year. Junior high is always an awkward time, but the move during this critical year made it even more difficult.

I remember walking into the school cafeteria for the first time. I was all by myself. The other kids had the luxury of established friendships. I didn’t know a soul. The cliques were already defined.

After making my way through the serving line, I slid into the nearest open seat. The kids at the table gave me the once-over, wrinkled their noses, and then snickered. I could feel my face getting red with embarrassment. I looked down at my food.

Finally, one of the kids broke the ice. “Man! You have one big nose!”

I was mortified. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to cry, but I managed a little laugh—like it didn’t really bother me. But it did.

Every day from that point forward, I would look at myself in the mirror. All I could see was that big fat nose. It dwarfed every other feature. I studied it from every angle, but kept coming back to the same conclusion: I was merely a life support system for a nose. It was my defining feature.

Thankfully, I eventually grew out of this perception. But it literally took me twenty years. Even now, I’m a little self-conscious about it.

It just goes to show you how powerful words can be. A careless word can shape—or misshape—someone’s reality for years to come.

I think that is why Ephesians 4:29 is one of my favorite Bible verses:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I try to live by that wisdom every day. To make yourself a more positive influence using your words, remember these three characteristics of wholesome speech:

1. Wholesome Words Build People Up

As leaders, we have the privilege of “building” people. I love that imagery. It applies to all the people you encounter: your overbearing boss, that rude flight attendant, the stressed-out family member, everybody. All of them have potential, and we have the power to build them up or bring them down.

That power is mostly in our words. It takes more than good thoughts and deeds to build people up. The real creative potential for change lies in the words we use. Wholesome words develop the people around us.

2. Wholesome Words Are Timely

The right words at the wrong time can be just as damaging as the wrong words.

When someone experiences a major setback or disappointment, for example, we need to be careful not to dismiss their pain or frustration. Likewise, it’s usually a bad idea to to lecture about what they could or should have done differently.

Words left unsaid can also be hurtful. I once worked for a man who literally never acknowledged, affirmed, or praised my performance. He only acknowledged my mistakes. An encouraging word would have cost him nothing and meant the the world to me, but he didn’t do it.

As leaders, it takes discernment to know when and if to speak. The right word spoken at the right time can make all the difference for someone.

3. Wholesome Words Provide a Benefit

I take this as more than merely being generous or accommodating—though those are both important. The things we say do something active in the lives of others. Our words can either empower people and make them want to press on or diminish them and make them want to quit.

I remember going through a horrific business failure. My partner and I lost everything. We didn’t have two nickels to rub together, and I had no clue how I was going to provide for my family.

I called my dad, and his words provided grace. They were just what I needed: reassuring, encouraging, confidence-building, and more.

That call was like Red Bull for my soul. It gave me the energy to hang in and keep fighting. And it gave me the grace I needed to do the next right thing for my family, for my business, and for my future.

Every day, we are shaping reality for someone by the words that we use with them. The right word spoken at the right time can make all the difference in building people up. How will your words impact others?

Productivity by Enneagram Type (Part 2)

Leaders all want to achieve. But sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Either we’re too perfectionistic, or too much of a people pleaser, or so much of a conflict avoider that we have trouble getting things done. It’s frustrating and discouraging to fall into the same old traps over and over. 

Seven Rules for More Effective Meetings

Recently I attended a very productive meeting. It was long, but we accomplished what we set out to do. We made significant decisions, established accountabilities, and left the meeting knowing exactly what was expected of us. I think everyone left feeling that it was a good use of time.

Unfortunately, too many corporate meetings don’t go this well. Often, they are a complete waste of time. But the good news is that they can be substantially improved. As I wrote in my book  No-Fail Meetings, meetings can actually multiply the effectiveness of your team.

Toward that end, here are seven rules for more effective meetings.

1. Establish hard edges. Good meetings start and end on time. When you start late, you inadvertently penalize the punctual and reward the tardy. This makes the problem worse rather than better. People get “trained” to come late because they know nothing significant will happen until well after the announced start time.

When you finish late, you also frustrate participants. People are busy. Meetings that finish late cascade into other meetings, which must then also start late. Instead, be as disciplined about ending times as about starting times. It’s amazing how much you can get done if you know you absolutely must finish on time.

2. Create an agenda. I don’t think any meeting should proceed without an agenda. If the meeting is not important enough to create a written agenda, then it’s not important enough to attend. Leaders must set the example here. They need to think about the topics to be covered and how the meeting should flow.

I always like to start the meeting with a review of the minutes from the previous meeting (more about this in a minute). I like to end every meeting with two items: a review of the agreed-upon action items and setting—or confirming—the date for the next meeting. Agendas should always be circulated in advance of the meeting, so that people know what to expect and how to prepare.

3. State the desired outcome. If you are the leader, it is important to know exactly what outcome you want from the meeting. If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you have arrived? I suggest you state the desired outcome in the meeting invitation and then restate it as you begin the meeting.

For example, “The purpose of our meeting is to evaluate prospective new products and decide which ones to develop.” Or, “The purpose of our meeting is to review the company’s Q3 operating results and determine next steps on our five strategic initiatives.”

When the intended outcome is clear, participants can work together to achieve it and keep the meeting from wandering off track.

4. Review the minutes and action items. The first thing I do in any meeting is to review the minutes and action items from the previous meeting. This gives the participants context and gives those that were absent an opportunity to get up-to-speed.

You also want to get a progress report on each action item from the person responsible for it. If you make a habit of doing this, people will soon learn that you expect them to complete their assignments. If they have to give an account in front of their peers, so much the better. This may give them the added incentive to get the work done.

5. Take written minutes. Someone should take minutes, even if the meeting only has two participants. However, detailed notes that chronicle the discussion as it unfolds are almost always unnecessary. In most meetings, recording the key decisions and action items are sufficient.

You want to document decisions so there is no misunderstanding later. You want to document action items so you can hold people accountable and track progress. Recording more detail than that is probably just busy work. You should distribute minutes as soon after the meeting as possible. That way, participants can review the key items while they are fresh in their memory and review what is expected of them.

6. Clarify action items. At the end of the meeting, the person recording the minutes should read off the action items. It is particularly important that these be stated in a specific format.

Start each action item with a verb. For example, “Review catering contract with the vendor” or “Call Jim and get latest turnover figures.”

Specify the deliverable. What exactly do you expect the person completing the action to do. It must be an observable behavior with a specific end-point. It may be a phone call, a written report, or a presentation. It should not be a process.

Assign a single owner to each action. No action should have more than one owner. You want one person responsible for seeing that the action is completed.

Agree on a due date. Get a commitment from the person responsible. Be realistic, but put it in writing. This is a commitment and should be treated as such.

7. Determine the next meeting date. This is much easier to do when everyone is together and has their calendar in front of them. If the meeting disperses without setting the next date, it makes it that much harder to schedule the next one. Take advantage of the opportunity to get this settled. It’s one less thing you have to do later.

Improving the quality of meetings takes work. Every once in a while we need to step back from the meeting itself and ask, “How can we make our time together more productive?” Be honest. Meetings consume a lot of resources. The more efficient they are, the better the return on our investment.