Kush Srivastava's Blog, page 37

Bye Bye Bossiiii!

Its not often that you see the kind of bonhomie between a boss and his subordinates, which I got to witness yesterday in one of the clubs in Bareilly, where my father threw a farewell party for his boss, scheduled to retire this month end.

What you do see today is subordinates feeling extremely pleased seeing their boss depart for one reason or the other and for the kind of jealousy and hatred that they might have developed towards their bosses for reasons known only to them.

So, it really came as a pleasant surprise to see the second on lead to give the first such a pleasant farewell. Credit goes to the boss as well, to have been able to gain the kind of respect from his subordinates, which was very much visible not only in their gestures towards him but also in their eyes.

Else who would have cared to give him such a reception, especially knowing that he would be retiring in a couple of days time. In a World which is guided by nothing other than materialistic fulfillments, it was indeed an exception to the norms and practices followed World over.

The exception was not visible in the very act but in the manner in which the act was conducted, especially considering the fact that we are talking about a farewell being given in a government department.

Somehow, in the past couple of days, I have come close to a reality that a common man is so deprived of, due to the lack of transparency in our country. With the kind of work environment that our government officers work in, my respect for some of them, at least, have increased manifold sheerly because of the committment they demonstrate towards their service without really worrying about any incentives what so ever.

Its not that everyone in government is able to maintain the same kind of integrity and dignity. But those who do, indeed deserve a big applause and appreciation for being the kind of person, who is not ready to give up his morales and values for the hari patti that seem to make everyone run after the same.

All in all, it was an absolute pleasure to share the platform with guys of such integrity and indeed an opportunity to learn so much from their conversations and life.

Source for Image: http://josegeologist.blogspot.in/2010/04/farewll-to-remember.html

I want to be Born Fair!

If you have fair skin and you look good, then half the battle is already won. This is one fact of our society that no one seems to talk about but is implicitly applicable in nearly every facet of our lives.

This is very well depicted in the advertising World where a fair and lovely girl/guy is able to gather all the applause for her/his excellent speech and is received very well by her/his boss, solely because she happens to be using fair and lovely cream which claims that it has the ability of making a person fair and thereby altering the entire perspective of people towards that person.

Yesterday, I happened to see this advertisement of Everyouth cream, wherein a girl receives a message that she needs to meet someone for a business deal in just 5 minutes time. Not having the time to go to a beauty parlour, she insted realizes that she has what others don’t have and that is the cream which would make her reach the level of prettiness required to impress the other party in order to clinch the deal.

And guess what! The meeting comes to its culmination with the pretty lady grabbing all the applause and praise for having given such a wonderful presentation.

Why is it that our society and we ourselves have become so obsessed and biased towards an aspect of life over which no one seem to have any control over? Imagine a good-looking guy, who was born in London, if he would have been born in Africa, would he have received the same kind of reception as he is so used to getting now?

Coming back to our own country, this kind of bias is very much visible in our print media as well, in the matrimonial section of our newspapers. If you have ever gone through these pages, the first line that you notice is: “want a fair and good-looking bride for…..“.

A couple of days back, I was having a conversation with an acamedician who has done some research on the influence that advertisements seem to have on people. He was of the opinion, that such preferences of humans towards good looking things in life is very much a consequence of the genetic make-up, which has evolved over time and is now contributing to all the biases that our society has got so accustomed to.

It might be true to some extent of what he told me about the genetic make-up. But the relevant question that we all need to ponder over is whether such a thing is conducive for our society in order to be able to grow in a healthy manner? If not then what all changes can we bring so as to get rid of our biases, so that at least our next generation and the generations that would follow do not have to face the same kind of biases that we faced during our times?

The first thing that we need to do is to start thinking over and above and beyond our personal greeds and needs, and to think as to what’s good for our community, society, country and the whole World for that matter.

The reform process needs to start in one’s own family. Parents need to take full care and caution about the kind of values they are instilling in their children. Children seem to learn a lot by watching others. Parents should take extra care that they don’t exhibit any such behaviour which seem to transmit any kind of unwanted bias to their children, till the point they become mature enough to decide as to what’s right or wrong.

The media, both print and online, should take care that they don’t propagate the biases which have become very much a part of our society, in order to just gain a few bucks or in order to increase their ratings.

The schools and our educational system play an extremely critical role in helping individuals develop the cognitive skills needed to evolve into a well-functioning individual in our society. The teachers should therefore ensure that they transmit all the right kind of values to their students.

There is an urgent need for all the above institutions and every individual for that matter to play their part in this scheme of things.

Let us try to get rid of this bias, which has seemed to conquer the minds of so many in our society and has become a ubiquitous phenomenon.

Source for Image: http://www.superbrandsindia.com/images/brand_pdf/consumer_1st_edition_2004/fair-n-lovely/fair-&-lovely.htm, http://www.stylesindia.com/fair-lovely-ayurvedic-fairness-cream-p-103.html

e-Soch: Nothing but WWW

I am sure, by now, you know very well as to who Saty is. If not then surely you are going to find out now.

Yesterday, while having our usual conversation, Saty came up with one of the saddest news of his life. Yes! His internet connection had been marred by the thunder showers that had taken the city of Lucknow by surprise.

If you are wondering as to what’s the big deal in net not working, then you and me are on the same footing as this was precisely the question that I put to him. And as if I had opened the Pandora’s box, Saty indeed had his arsenal ready to be used on who else other than me:

“Dude! Net is life. I feel so constrained when I am not on the net. As if the life seems to have come to a standstill. How many friends would be waiting for me to log on and solve their problems which they might be having with their girlfriends and I have got so used to solving them that I can’t but let them suffer without me even trying to help them out.

I am unable even to think about something. Every thought of mine comes from the net. I want to kill the BSNL people for having done this to me. They have brought me immense mental trauma and suffering. I am even thinking about filing an RTI for the same. Do you think it’s a good idea? And by the way, how much would it cost?” —–Saty

“Well! The RTI won’t cost you much, but if you carry on like this, spending so much time on the computer, then for sure, you are going to have a hard time in the future.”—-Me

“Why are you saying this? What’s wrong in spending time on net and interacting with people?“—-Saty

“There is nothing wrong with interacting with people, but the question is for how long? To cite a few reasons as to why you shouldn’t do it: firstly, it is not worth wasting your time which can very well be used in constructive activities and even if you want to interact with your friends then also you don’t need to spend the whole day doing that; secondly, as many researchers have already found out, spending too much time on the net can not only make you addicted to the same but can also have drastic consequences for your health (e.g. eyes and neck); thirdly, you tend to start living in a virtual world of your own, away from the reality of life which is waiting to welcome you the moment you step out of your home. How can you be so naive about it?“—Me

“Yaar, it’s not that I don’t know about these things. It is just that I have got too much addicted to it, and the moment I get up in the morning, there is a strong urge of me logging on to what you call the virtual world. People tend to know me here and give me importance for my nature and for the human being I am, where as in your real world, where materialistic success is the only reason why people might want to meet you, I think I am better off not making myself exposed to the same.“—-Saty

“Hmm! I can understand what you mean. But for how long can you carry on doing like this? There will surely arrive some point when you will realize that enough is enough and that you need to get out of this addiction.“—-Me

“May be, you are right. But for now I don’t want to think about what’s going to happen in the future. I prefer living in the current as the future makes me very nervous.“—-Saty

These were his last words before our conversation came to an abrupt end and I thought it not wise to carry on with the discussion. Firstly, because I, myself, didn’t have any answer to the perplexing riddle of the real World about the way it operates and secondly, because by arguing I would have made Saty more sad, sheerly because he too is aware of the consequences of what he is doing.

Though, it didn’t stop me pondering about an issue that is becoming more relevant in present day context. I have met people who think about nothing else but logging on. Their craving is so visible that they, at times, tend to ignore their bosses and their real World friends in order to being able to spend some time on the net.

It has also become an escape for those who are not able to do what they would have wanted to do in their lives and thus have decided to abandon the real World altogether. It has also evolved as a refuge for single mothers, or widowers, who are not able to overcome their losses and the societal consequences resulting from the same.

Indeed, our thought processes are increasingly becoming dependant on the very revolution that Tim Berner Lee would have thought to bring in this world by inventing WWW.

I know that this phenomenon is not going to dissipate in the near future and is here to stay. I just hope that people can extract all the positives from this phenomenon and can prevent any harm from occuring to them, as you know that there are always two sides of a coin and one side is never right.

Source for Image: http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/blog/2011/oct/18/battle-dot-eco, http://www.rediff.com/business/slide-show/slide-show-1-how-internet-is-creating-jobs-worldwide/20110527.htm, http://theinternet11.blogspot.in/

Mango Dreams

One thing apart from the so many things that I can die for is nothing but what the World calls the king of fruits, mango. Having lived in a city for so long, it is but natural to have developed a liking for the same, especially considering the fact that Malihabad (famous for its Dussehri mangoes World over) is just a step away from the centre of the city.

How often it is that you only realize the importance of some precious thing when you are staying far from it. Yesterday was one such day. While feasting on the langra variety of mangoes, one of my uncles who had come to my house for dinner, took me to a different World altogether through his description of one of the baghs that his family owns in his native place.

His love for mangoes was quite evident from the manner in which he chose to describe the essence of the fruit. It was only after half an hour of vivid description that he took a deep breath followed by a sigh lamenting on the fact that due to the curfew that has been imposed in Bareilly, he has been unable to treat himself with the same.

Seeing his love for mangoes and as a matter of fact, since I happen to share the same emotions for the fruit, I couldn’t resist myself from telling him about a source through which good quality mangoes can be delivered at his door step, straight from the bagh.

I told him about this initiative by a fellow batch mate of mine from IIT Kanpur, and a very dear friend, who has started this e-Commerce activity this very season and has been extremely well received from all over the country for his excellent operational capabilites (http://mangobagh.com).

The moment he heard about the same, there was a big smile on his face and I am sure if anyone of you would have seen him, he would have looked like a 5 year old eagerly waiting to pluck a couple of mangoes straight from the branches of a mango tree.

He went on to share some stories from his childhood and college days, which reminded me of mine and made me a little nostalgic. By the time he finished telling us the same, it was already 11:30 p.m. and it was time to bid good night.

And for the very first time, a good night was about to become many mango nights for I was sure that both him and myself would be dreaming about the king for at least a couple of days that were about to follow.

Source for Image: http://www.mangobagh.com/

Living Naturally

As I am writing here, the rain Gods are showering the much needed relief upon us, and my dear bageera is sitting next to me besides my chair, enjoying the showers.

How often had I dreamt of sitting in a peaceful environment surrounded by nature from all sides and how often had I thought about penning down my thoughts which seem to flow, courtesy the very nature of the surroundings that I happen to be in.

Such an environment is very much in tune with the ideal ambience that a writer so craves for. Not only a writer, but also a lay man wanting to restore some peace of mind and wanting to get away from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives would love to be in my shoes at this very moment.

Such a luxury is found very rarely in this present day scenario and is a much sought for thing. Somehow, I have always felt that in this race to accomplish material successes in life, we have forgotten the very essence and the meaning of life.

In this race of becoming business tycoons, or gaining expertise in medicine or reaching the top notch of our bureaucracy, we have somewhere left the man in us behind, which seem to emerge again from the dungeons only in our fifties or sixties when we sit down to ponder over how we had lived our entire life and whether we could have done something differently.

There are so many things to do and see in this World. I guess we end up witnessing around 0.1% or not even that, of the entire cosmos. Some would want to stop me from going on with my concepts at this very moment and would want to question me about my propensity to talk about such things and whether it is really relevant to even give such thoughts a chance to break their silence.

Indeed, one can have different perspective on the same, but it is often that we don’t realize the advice that our natural instincts tend to offer, giving them not even the slightest of regard which they so deserve and which is so essential for the well being of an individual.

As a consequence the various life style diseases seem to be on a rise and more and more people are getting affected by the innumerable kind of diseases that didn’t use to affect us in the past.

I am sure there must be some reason which could answer or try to explain the very causes of the same. For me the answer lies in us drifting away from the very basis of life, the nature around us which has been and will continue to be our bread and butter for the entire life.

We have somehow got used to spending our time in unnatural activites and therefore end up suffering from certain ailments that didn’t use to figure, say a couple of decades back.

Some might blame the time for not being on their side. But I wouldn’t dare to do that. What I would want to do instead is to give myself and my basis of existence a chance to prevent the havoc from prevailing any further upon what we all call Our World.

Source for Image: http://www.online-digital-photography-course.com/, http://www.free-desktop-backgrounds.net/Favorite-wallpapers/Widescreen-desktop-wallpapers/Widescreen-nature-peace.html

Rioting for Religion

On one hand where Bareilly, my current refuge, was busy partying on Sunday night, on the other hand there was something dreadful that was about to happen in a place called Aavlan, a place not very far from the city.

A group of kanvariyas, known for their devotion towards Lord Shiva, and who become quite visible during the season of Sawan, were totally engrossed in their enchantments when the communal bug hit them.

As the word goes, continuing with their over-the-moon celebrations, the group didn’t realize that they were crossing a mosque where the muslims of the area were all prepared to break their fast, carrying on with their tradition of Ramzaan.

On being requested by the Muslims, the kanvariyas refused to tow down their celebrations and the noise emanating from the same. An argument followed which soon took the shape of a skirmish, and resulted in injuring and probably killing a number of the kanvariyas and the Muslims present there at the very moment.

What followed after was a toned down replica ofthedreadful Mumbai riots and many such riots that our country, of late, has become so used of beholding.

The administration in the district was quick to respond. In this effort a number of policemen and the SP of the city got injured. Surely their effort needs to be applauded for having prevented a major catastrophe from taking place and for imposing a curfew in the whole area.

But one question that has had and is continuing to marr the image of our country as a country with unity in diversity that India is so proud of propagating everywhere around the globe, is why do we become so intolerant when it comes to propagating or practicing our religion?

Is it because of the manifestations of our biases towards the other sections/religions in our country that seem to find its way out on such occassions or is it because of the increase in intolerance and loss in secular character of our citizens that seems to multiply on such critical moments?

Whatever be the reason, one thing that is absolutely essential for a country like India to tread its path of transition from a developing to a developed nation, is to maintain an environment of peace and stability, in order to be able to develop and grow.

The people or the hooligans who tend to be involved in such activities have no regard whatsoever for our nation or her assets. As a result, we end up losing not only the valuable infrastructure but also the precious lives of our youth, who tend to play a major role during such riots, and who have a potential of becoming productive citizens of our country.

Such loss is completely irreparable. It also ends up creating bad feelings on both sides of the community and serves like a ticking bomb ready to explode sometime in the future.

What needs to be done is to increase contact between the two communities and bring them on a platform where they can interact and try to get rid of their stereotypes and prejudices that have developed over time.

Schools and parents need to play a major part in this effort. They themselves might have gone through harsh experiences but they should make sure that they don’t end up imposing their biases on their own children and leave them to suffer in the times to come.

After all, its not the religion that causes all the trouble. Its the people themselves, its us, who are the sole and the only cause of such conflicts.

And what’s more important is to realize that we don’t really need to go far in order to find our answers to the puzzle and to take note of what the father of our nation once said: “be the peace you wish for the world“.

Source for the Image: http://www.thegamerspulse.com/london-constable-blames-gta-for-riots/, http://www.aljazeera.com/news/africa/2011/01/2011171242359602.html

 

New Place! New Life!

If you are wondering where the hell I have been for the past couple of days, then I consider it as my blogging responsibility to tell you of my whereabouts . Well, for the past couple of days, I had been involved in what I would like to call the 2nd major shifting of my life.

The first one was conducted when I was too young to realize what the hell was happening. But God has His own ways of making sure that one gets the taste of something that he/she so not desire .

And this time around, the taste was not all so sweet. Even after availing the services of the Movers n Packers, it was in all senses of the word a traumatic experience to make them pack all the stuff that my parents had accumulated over their professional life.

To our relief, we didn’t have to do them on our own, courtesy the same guys, but there is a price that everyone has to pay whenever one doesn’t really want to bear the responsibility on one’s shoulders.

And the price that we paid was in form of damages to certain precious possessions. However, sometimes on one hand where there is disappointment, on the other hand God makes sure that there is enough available to compensate for the liabilities incurred.

We were really pleasantly surprised by the Grandeur associated with the kothi/bangalow alloted to my father, which was built during 1950s. With a fireplace in the drawing room coupled with the huge amount of space available outside the house, it was in true senses of the word, what my friends call a dream house.

It is but natural to feel like a king, beholding the palace that was staring right in my face. And to put the icing on the cake was a party that followed the same evening in one of the oldest and the most privileged clubs in the city.

The first day went by in a flash. It was only on the second day, that we decided to tread the path to normalcy. Coming back to real terms, things started to take a U-turn with the logistics and the household chores becoming an issue.

Courtesy, the kind of country that we are living in and how easily labour can be got especially if you happen to be working for the government made our lives easy.

Today, when I got up, I felt a bit lonely with no friends around me and with no plans that I use to make with my friends in Lucknow. While in thinking mode, I decided to step out in my garden outside.

As I said earlier, God has His own ways of correcting/normalizing things. And there He was playing his part. What I saw write in front of me was a visual which would have brought a smile to the faces of anyone who would have seen the same.

Five small squirrels (my kutkuts from the Lucknow days) were happily playing in the garden and a dog (whom I have given the name Bageera from the famous Jungle Book) was sitting next to a tree.

In a couple of hours, I had found new friends. Life seems much more enjoyable now and the adventurous spirit in me is again beginning to take its toll on me.

I am sure it will take me to some place but what, when and where it will be as much a mystery to me as anyone else.

One thing though that I surely need to do is to prepare myself to explore what we all call Life.

Source for the Image:http://www.imagesofasia.com/html/india/bungalow.html, http://www.flickr.com/photos/35110249@N05/4982629840/

Dil Bagh Bagh :)

There are not many privileges that a common man gets in my city. But one privilege that one can avail of for sure, sheerly because of being a resident of the city is to be able to visit the World famous Mango baghs of Malihabad.

And yesterday was one such day for me. I had the opportunity of visiting one of the baghs, located just besides the Central Institute of Subtopical Horticulture (CISH). The path that leads to thebagh is in itself a fascinating ride amidst the trees on both sides and a view which in all senses of the word is nature personified.

After having treaded the path of nature, I got a rare opportunity to delve into the lives of the farmers who take very good care of their baghs. It was extremely heartening to see them talk of the mangoes with such excitement and possessiveness.

The kind of practical knowledge and awareness that they demonstrated was incredible. I guess it’s a pure consequence of having been born and brought up in such an environment and having purused their family tradition.

What was most noticeable though was to see the kind of friendly nature and hospitality that they demonstrated and that Lucknowites are so famous for all over the World. They made sure that that I have had experienced what all is associated and related to the king of fruits, before leaving.

All in all, a wondeful trip and a wonderful experience, which I will always cherish throughout my life .

Source for Image: http://mynokiablog.com/2011/05/16/more-features-to-mango-wifi-hotspot-contact-groups-album-art-lockscreen-and-more/

I wanna become Miss India

Its not often that you see youngsters involved in outdoor sports these days, thanks to the emergence of the phenomenon we all call video and computer games. So, when I do see them doing the same, I am reminded of my own days.

And today was one such day. A group of 4 including 2 young guys and 2 girls, into their teens, were playing a mixed doubles Badminton match in my neighbourhood. The kind of quality and skills they demonstrated made me stand there to watch the match until it was over.

After the match, one of the girls approached me: “Bhaiya, I saw your column in the newspaper and I really like it, the advice that you give to students like us regarding their career. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Thanks, haan poocho.”–Me

“Bhaiya, do you think a girl like me can become Miss India?”–Girls

To be frank, I have answered questions regarding all the career options that one can think of, but I have never been asked this before. Considering what I know about the contest and the kind of skillset plus the personality traits that are required for the same, that I am aware of, plus my perception of the girl’s personality and since, I am a strong advocate of doing things of one’s liking (in case a person was really interested in doing the same), I answered:

“Why not? You can become Miss India if you really want to and if you work hard at it, giving your 100% to things that are required for one to hold the title, which of course you will have to research upon.”

Having said the above, I just wondered and was in fact curious about why she wanted to become Miss India and in order to feed my curiosity I thought of asking the same to her.

“Well, I think I have got all that it takes to become Miss India. And moreover, I will become famous and rich, at the same time, I will get a chance to act in the Bollywood, which I so want to do . “–Girl

The answer was quite straight to the point. I gave her a smile and decided to move on with my journey to meeting a friend.

While I was driving, I realized how times have changed. It was not long back, when kids in my neighbourhood would not think beyond the conventional career options as the others were considered too risky to even have a go at.

And today, there seems to be no boundations what so ever, when it comes to chosing a career, especially in bigger cities and the metropolitans.

Credit for this must also go to parents who have become more liberal and are accepting, at the same time giving encouragement to the wants and wishes of their children.

As I was about to reach my friend’s place, I wondered:

“What would my newly born American niece want to become,say, 15 years down the line? “

Source for Image: http://yellowpages.sulekha.com/jaipur/miss-india-exports-m-i-road-jaipur_contact-address.htm

What a Guy calls Torture !

“Baby, I love you na!”–Guy

“Jhoot, sab jhoot! You don’t care for me. You keep roaming with friends. You don’t have any time for me.”–Girl

“Of course not baby! You know even when I am around with friends, I keep thinking about you.”–Guy

“Very funny! Then why didn’t you give me a call?”–Girl

“Oh wo to because I was driving na! And moreover my battery was so low that I couldn’t even send you a message.”–Guy

“What rubbish! If you really wanted to talk to me, you could have called me up from your friend’s cell or a PCO.”–Girl

“Hey, guess what! I gotta surprise for you.”–Guy (tries to change the topic of conversation)

“Is it? What? Now it better be good for you have lots n lots to make up to me.”–Girl

Well, these are not dialogues from some movie of the genre of DCH (I am sure you all remember the character played by Saif Ali Khan), but a real life talking example between a girl and a guy, who finally takes a sigh of relief having deviated the girl away from the topic that he so hates to discuss, but is forced to do so anyway, because of the very perseverance shown by the girl.

It’s not that the girl doesn’t understand that the guy is trying to take her away from the crux of the matter, but she believes in letting him go until the next time, as she thinks that she has thrown enough of tantrums for this time, and moreover she awaits thesurprisethat is supposed to be coming her way.

The guy, on the other hand, thinks that how intelligent he is, for managing to escape from the topic and for having restored normalcy in the relationship again. Though, he doesn’t have the slightest of notions about what is in store for him in times to come when this very example and many more would be cited in order to initiate a conversation (more so a fight), which would totally be guided by the mood of the girl.

In short, the guy doesn’t realize that he has become, nothing, but a slave of the wishes of his girlfriend. Soon after, what follows is as good as anyone’s guess. A series of quarrelling which soon turn into serious debates about relationships and what results in the end is a breakup.

On being asked to the guy as to what had resulted in him and his girlfriend resorting to such an action, his answer is pretty much reflective of his understanding and perception about a relation, which is nothing but immensely immature.

“She made my life hell, you see. She didn’t give me any space. I felt so constrained that I couldn’t really breathe.”–Guy’s explanation

Somehow, I have heard and listened to such explanations so often, that there was a time when I seriously started doubting the intention of a girl. The ever reverberating question kept stimulating my mind: What does a girl really want? Is she always after the life of a guy?

On going a bit deeper into the complex nature of the relationship, I realized that it all starts withpep talkwherein a guy tries to do any and everything in order to woo the girl. He resorts to actions which might be totally incompatible with the basic personality of the guy, which in turn develops expectations on part of the girl, which the guy would never be able to fulfill in the future, sheerly because it doesn’t match the very basic nature of the guy.

As a result one can hear the girl saying:Tum to aise nahi the. Kitna badal gaye ho tum,which if we think from the girl’s perspective is so true.

Having said the above, what one really wants to know is whether there is a solution to the whole dynamics that I have described above.

I believe that for any realtionship to succeed, the most important ingredient is honesty. One needs to be honest to both oneself and his/her partner. It is extremely important to put your true self in front of a person whom you are thinking of spending your whole life with.

There is absolutely no requirement what so ever for faking or doing something which you are not capable of doing and which you certainly will not be doing in the future.

At the same time, the girl should understand that there is a general pattern or a curve that every relationship follows. With the relationship becoming more and more mature, things certainly are bound to change. The form of expression of love might change. The depth of conversations might become more mature and serious at times.

This, in no way, is reflective of the fact that the love quotient has gone down between the couple or the relationship has lost the charm that it once had. It is just indicative of a fact that the relationship has become more strong and solid.

In the end, what a guy calls torture is a result of his own activites at times and as a guy, one should try to abide by the principles of honesty.

The question that needs to be understood more than answering is: “Can you honestly love a dishonest thing?”

Source for Image: http://www.milliondollarmarriage.me/honesty-trust-respect-love, http://www.ortegaumc.org/pages/pastor_notes_8-15-10.html