Kush Srivastava's Blog, page 31

एक आखरी मुलाक़ात !

Carrying on with my love affair of trying to get into some other person’s shoes or sandals as the case may be , here I am, again making an attempt at trying to understand the feelings and emotions that a person might be going through, thinking what if he is unable to meet the love of his life for the last and final time. I would like to title it as एक आखरी मुलाक़ात !

कभी कभी किसी से दूर चले जाने का एहसास इतना दर्द नहीं देता जितना कि ये सोच कि हम उस किसी ख़ास से आंखरी बार नहीं मिल पाए तो. उस दिन मेरे साथ भी ऐसा ही कुछ हो रहा था. जहाँ एक ओर उस किसी ख़ास से एक आंखरी बार मिलने के लिए दिल बेकरार था, वहीँ दूसरी ओर इस बात का डर भी था कि उसने मिलने से मना कर दिया तो.

इसी उधेर बुन में मैंने उसे एक आंखरी बार फ़ोन करने का निश्चय किया. बहुत देर तक फ़ोन की घंटी बजती रही पर किसी ने फ़ोन नहीं उठाया. हताश हो कर, मैं जैसे ही एअरपोर्ट के लिए निकलने ही वाला था, तभी मेरा फ़ोन बज उठा. अपने मोबाइल पर प्रकट होते हुए नंबर को देख के मेरी ख़ुशी का ठिकाना नहीं रहा. मैं विश्वास नहीं कर पा रहा था कि फ़ोन उसी का था.

कभी कभी आप को खुद नहीं पता होता कि आप ज़िन्दगी से क्या चाहते हैं. बस सभी की तरह आप भी ज़िन्दगी के उस बहाव में अपने आप को छोड़ देते हैं, इस आशा से कि ये ज़िन्दगी आपके साथ अच्छा व्यहवार करेगी. मुझे भी इस बात का ज़रा सा भी अंदेशा नहीं था कि जो मैं करने जा रहा था वो मेरी ज़िन्दगी के लिए सही सिद्ध होगा या नहीं. हाँ पर एक विश्वास ज़रूर था कि जो भी होता है अच्छे के लिए ही होता है.

मैंने जल्दी से फ़ोन को उठाया. मानो मेरी सारी परेशानी दुनिया की सबसे हसीन आवाज़ को सुनकर एक पल के लिए गायब हो गयी. हाँ वो कोई और नहीं, मेरी ज़िन्दगी का वो प्यार थी जिसके लिए बिना कुछ सोचे समझे उसके चेहरे पे एक हसी लाने के लिए मैं कुछ भी करने को तैयार हो जाया करता था. जिसकी एक झलख मेरे पूरे दिन की थकान को मिटा देती थी. जिसकी एक अदा पे मैं मरने को भी तैयार हो जाता था. जिसका शर्माना मुझे किसी और ही दुनिया में भेज देता था. जिसके कान के वो झुमके मुझे अपनी ओर आकर्षित करते थे. जिसके घुंगराले बालों में मैं अपने को खो देना चाहता था. हाँ वो कोई और नहीं वही लड़की थी जिसके साथ मैंने अपनी ज़िन्दगी बिताने के सपने देखे थे.

“क्या तुम मुझसे मिल सकती हो?” मुझे इस बात की काफी कम उम्मीद थी की वो मुझसे मिलने को तैयार हो जायेगी.

“हाँ, पर केवल थोड़ी देर के लिए.” मुझे विश्वास ही नहीं हो रहा था की इतना सब हो जाने के बाद भी वो मुझसे मिलने को तैयार हो गयी थी.

मुझे खुद नहीं पता था कि मैं उससे मिल के क्या कहूँगा. हमारे बीच वैसे भी सब कुछ ख़तम ही हो गया था. क्या मुझे इस बात की उम्मीद थी कि वो मेरे पास फिर से एक बार लौट आयेगी? क्या मैं एक बार फिर से उस बीतें हुई ज़िन्दगी को वापस लाना चाहता था? क्या मेरा उसके प्रति प्यार मुझे जाने कि इजाज़त नहीं दे रहा था? क्या मैं चाहता था कि हम दोनों फिर से एक बार साथ हो जाए? क्या उसे अपने से दूर जाता हुआ देख मैं अपने आप को संभाल नहीं पा रहा था? इन सवालों का मेरे पास कोई जवाब नहीं था या शायद मैं इन जवाबों को जान कर भी स्वीकार नहीं करना चाहता था.

शायद मुझे इसी पल का इंतज़ार था. शायद इतने दिनों से मैं इसी मौके की तलाश में था. शायद यही वो मेरी ज़िन्दगी का निर्णायक पल होने वाला था. शायद यही वो आंखरी मौका था जब मैं उसे एक बार फिर से इस बात के लिए राज़ी कर सकता था कि हम फिर से एक साथ हो जाये. और इस बार मैं अपनी कोशिश में कोई कमी नहीं करना चाहता था. मुझे पता था कि गलती मुझसे ही हुई थी पर इसका मतलब ये तो नहीं था कि हम अलग हो जाये. आखिर गलती हर इंसान से होती है. बड़प्पन तो इसी में होता है कि हम उन गलतियों को अनदेखा कर अपनी ज़िन्दगी को और हसीन बनाने की कोशिश करें.

उसे सामने देख जहाँ एक ओर मैं बेहद खुश था वहीँ दूसरी ओर मुझे बिलकुल भी समझ नहीं आ रहा था कि मैं उसको कैसे राज़ी करूंगा. बात बहुत आगे बढ़ चुकी थी.

“तुम्हे पता है कि मैंने ज़िन्दगी में सबसे ज्यादा प्यार आज तक किसे किया है? वो कोई और नहीं तुम हो. हाँ मैं मानता हूँ मुझसे गलती हुई है. मुझे तुम्हे पहले ही सब कुछ बता देना चाहिए था, पर इसके लिए क्या तुम मुझे इतनी बड़ी सज़ा दोगी. क्या मुझे अपनी गलती सुधारने का एक मौका भी नहीं मिलेगा? मैं तुमसे वादा करता हूँ कि मैं सब कुछ ठीक कर दूंगा. फिर से हम उन्ही पुराने दिनों में वापस लौट जायेंगे. क्या तुम मेरे साथ अपनी ज़िन्दगी नहीं बिताना चाहती?….” कहते कहते मैं चुप हो गया. उसकी दोनों आँखों से आंसुओ की लड़ी बह रही थी. बिना कुछ बोले मैंने उसको अपनी बाहों में ले लिया.

“मैं इतने दिनों तक यहीं सोचती रही कि तुमने मुझसे बात करने की कोशिश क्यों नहीं करी. और फिर एक दिन मुझे तुम्हारे ही एक दोस्त से पता चला की तुमने ये देश छोड़ कर जाने का निश्चय कर लिया है. इसी उम्मीद में कि तुम मुझे एक फ़ोन तो करोगे, मैं तुम्हारा इंतज़ार करती रही, पर तुम्हारा फ़ोन नहीं आया. तुम्हे पता है अगर आज तुम्हारा फ़ोन नहीं आता तो मैं पूरी तरह से टूट जाती. क्या तुम्हे हमारे रिश्ते पे इतना सा भी भरोसा नहीं था? क्या तुम्हे मुझपे भरोसा नहीं था? मैंने तुम्हारा हर स्थिति में साथ देने का वादा किया था, तो फिर मैं अपने वादे से पीछे कैसे हट सकती थी? क्या तुम इतनी आसानी से मुझे छोड़ के चले जाते?” मैंने गलती तो की ही थी, पर उससे बड़ी गलती ये थी कि मैंने उसे सुधारने का भी कोई प्रयत्न नहीं किया था.

मुझे पता था कि मुझे इश्वर ने अपनी गलती सुधारने का एक मौका और दे दिया था. मुझे पता था कि एक बार फिर से वो मेरी ज़िन्दगी में खुशियाँ भरने को तैयार हो गयी थी. आप चाहे जो भी कहें, लड़कियां हम लड़कों से ज्यादा समझदार और भावनात्मक रूप में हम लड़कों से कहीं ज्यादा शक्तिशाली होती हैं. साथ ही साथ उनमें क्षमा भाव भी हम लडको से सामान्य रूप में ज्यादा ही होता है.

कहते हैं अंत भला तो सब भला, पर कभी कभी इस बात को मैं सोच के डर जाता हूँ कि अगर उस दिन मुझे वो आंखरी मुलाकात करने का अवसर नहीं प्राप्त हुआ होता तो क्या होता. इसलिए मेरी आप सभी से गुजारिश है कि अपने साथी से कुछ ना छुपाये. विश्वास एक ऐसी बुनियाद है जिसपे हर रिश्ता अपना अस्तित्व निर्धारित कर ज़िन्दगी में आगे बढ़ता है. इसलिए इस विश्वास की नीव को कभी भी कमज़ोर ना होने दे.

Source for Image: http://nareshkhoisnam.blogspot.in/2012/03/tale-of-manipuri-boy-episode-8.html, http://www.agefotostock.com/en/Stock-Images/Royalty-Free/ETL-ZZ028012

एक माँ की व्यथा

It is said that a true writer is able to put himself or herself in others’ shoes and is able to feel the emotions that the person might be going through. This is the first time I am taking this liberty to venture out into doing the above. And what better place to start then being someone because of whom, today I am here writing this very blog. This one is dedicated to all the mothers who are away from their sons and want just one thing from life and that is to see their sons come back to them.It is titled एक माँ की व्यथा.

कभी कभी आप को खुद नहीं पता होता कि ज़िन्दगी आपको किस तरफ लिए जा रही है. सात साल पहले की बात है, हवाई अड्डे पर खड़े हुए अपने बेटे को दूर जाते देख, मुझे इस बात का बिलकुल भी अंदाजा नहीं था कि जिस बेटे को मैंने २५ साल से पाल पोस कर इतने नाजों से बड़ा किया, उससे मिलना तो दूर बात करना भी मुश्किल होने वाला था.

विदेश जाने का निर्णय स्वयं मेरे बेटे का ही था. ना चाहते हुए भी मुझे उसके विदेश जाने के पीछे छिपे उसके उद्देश्य के समक्ष झुकना ही पड़ा. मुझे पता था की वो विदेश क्यों जाना चाहता है. अक्सर ऐसा होता है की एक इस्त्री अपने पति और अपने बेटे के बीच में दब कर रह जाती है. तब वो सही और गलत के बीच फैसला नहीं करना चाहती. मेरे साथ भी कुछ ऐसा ही हुआ था.

मेरे पति एक इमानदार सरकारी अफसर थे. अपने कार्यकाल में उन्होंने कोई गलत कार्य करके पैसे कमाने का प्रयास नहीं किया था. यूँ तो उनकी इमानदारी के चर्चे हर जगह थे, परन्तु इस इमानदारी से हमारे घर की स्थिति कुछ ज्यादा अच्छी नहीं रहती थी. कहने को तो हमारे पास जीवन में वो सभी आवश्यक सुविधाएँ थी जिनसे जीवन आराम से चल पाता, परन्तु एक माँ के नाते मैं ये जानती थी कि मेरे बेटे को वो सारी चीज़ें मैं उपलब्ध नहीं करा पाती हूँ जिनकी उसको चाह थी. मुझे पता था कि आस पास के बच्चों को आधुनिक खिलौनों के साथ खेलता देख कर  मेरे बेटे में भी उन सभी चीज़ों को पाने कि इच्छा होती थी.

कभी ये कहके कि पापा तुम्हारे लिए जल्द ही वो खिलौने लायेंगे तो कभी उसे दूसरे और सस्ते खिलौने दिलाकर मैं उससे ज्यादा खुद को सांत्वना देती और उस रात अपने बेटे कि इच्छाओं को पूरा ना कर पाने के कारण जी भर के रोती. अपने पति के उसूलों के सामने एक माँ को अपनी हार स्वीकार करने के अलावा कोई और रास्ता नहीं होता था.

मुझे पता था कि मेरा बेटा अपने बच्चों को इस आभाव में नहीं पालना चाहता था. वो अपने बीवी बच्चों को वो सारे सुख देना चाहता था जो शायद उसको अपने जीवन में नहीं मिले. अच्छी बात ये थी कि वो किन्ही गलत कार्यों का सहारा लेकर नहीं करना चाहता था. परन्तु इसके लिए उसको लगता था कि उसका विदेश जाना अनिवार्य है. ऐसा भी नहीं था कि वो अपने माँ-बाप के प्रति अपने कर्तव्यों का पालन नहीं करना चाहता था. वो चाहता था कि वो अपने पूरे परिवार को विदेश में बुला ले और वही बस जाये.

लेकिन यहाँ भी एक माँ को अपने पति और बच्चे के बीच में चुनाव करना पड़ता. जहाँ एक ओर मेरे पति भारत में ही बसना चाहते थे वही दूसरी ओर मैं दोनों के साथ अपना जीवन व्यतीत करना चाहती थी, चाहे वो भारत हो या विदेश, मुझे इस बात से कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता था. एक बार मैंने हिम्मत कर अपने पति से भी इस विषय में बात करनी चाही.

“मुझे लगता है कि हमें भी विदेश चलना चाहिए. आखिर बेटे की ख़ुशी में ही तो हमारी ख़ुशी है”, मैंने अपने पति के समक्ष प्रस्ताव रक्खा.

“इतने सालों से अपने पति को जानने के पश्चात भी तुम ऐसा कैसे पूछ सकती हो. मैं यहीं पे रहके अपना बचा हुआ जीवन व्यतीत करना चाहता हूँ. तुम्हारा बेटा ये क्यों नहीं समझता कि उसे यहाँ पे भी अच्छी नौकरी मिल सकती है. पता नहीं क्यों उसे विदेश का भूत सवार हो गया है,” मुझे पता था कि मेरी तरफ मेरे पति द्वारा कैसे कटु शब्द आने वाले हैं, फिर भी मैं एक बार प्रयास करना चाहती थी.

“आपने कभी सोचा है कि आप का बेटा क्या चाहता है. आखिर उसकी भी तो ज़रूरते हैं. वो भी तो अपना जीवन अपने अनुसार व्यतीत करना चाहता है. हमें उसकी हिम्मत बढानी चाहिए. और यहाँ आप उसके लक्ष्य में बाधा बन्ने का सुझाव दे रहे हैं.” मैंने अपने पति को समझाना चाहा. 

“मैं कहाँ बाधा बन रहा हूँ. मैं तो केवल इतना कह रहा हूँ कि मैं नहीं जाऊँगा. बाकी किसी को जाना है तो वो जा सकता है.” मेरे पति से मुझे ऐसे ही उत्तर की उम्मीद थी.

ना उसके बाद कभी मैंने अपने पति को समझाने का प्रयत्न किया और ना ही अपने बेटे को रोकने का. मुझे पता था कि वो नहीं रुकेगा और मैं उसे किसी प्रकार का दुःख नहीं पहुचाना चाहती थी. इसलिए उस दिन हवाई अड्डे पे मैंने उसे हसी ख़ुशी ख़ुशी विदा किया. बहुत प्रयास कर पाने पर भी मैं अपनी आँखों से उन बहती हुई आसूं कि लड़ियों को नहीं रोक पायी. मन ही मन में जहाँ एक ओर मैं अपने बेटे को दुआएं दे रही थी, वही दूसरी ओर उसके दूर चले जाने का आभास मुझे अत्यंत कमज़ोर बनाये जा रहा था.    

घर लौटने के बाद एक ऐसे खाली पन का एहसास हुआ, मानो मेरा जीवन व्यर्थ हो गया हो. उस रात अपने पति के सो जाने के पश्चात मैं अपने बेटे के कमरे में गयी. अभी तक इस सत्य को मैं मान नहीं पाई थी कि मेरा बेटा मुझसे दूर चला गया है. उसके तकिये को पकड़ के मैं फूट फूट कर रोने लगी और ईश्वर से एक ही मिन्नत करती रही कि वो मेरे बेटे को विदेश में खुश रक्खे, साथ ही साथ मन में ये भी चाह थी कि वो जल्द घर लौट आये.

थोड़ी देर वही बैठ के उन पलों के बारे में सोचती रही जब मैंने अपने बेटे को अपने हाथों में पहली बार लिया था. उसके छोटे छोटे हाथों ने जब मेरी पहली बार ऊँगली पकड़ी थी. जब मैंने उसे पहली बार चलना सिखाया था. पहली बार जब मैं उसे स्कूल छोड़ने गयी. पहली बार जब मैंने उसे खेल प्रतियोगता में जीतता देखा. वो दृश्य, जब मैं अपने बेटे को उसके कमरे में खाना लाके देती थी और उसके पढाई करते समय सर पे तेल रखती थी, मेरे आँखों के सामने मानो वास्तविक रूप में चलते दिखाई दिए.

यही सोचते सोचते मुझे पता भी नहीं चला कि मैं कब सो गयी. सुबह जब मेरी आँख खुली तो वास्तविकता एक बार फिर मेरे समक्ष थी. ज़िन्दगी फिर से उसी प्रकार चलानी थी. अपने पति को फिर एक बार दफ्तर के लिए रवाना करना था और घर के सारे कार्य पूरे करने थे.

दिन बीते और फिर साल. धीरे धीरे मैंने अपने मन को ये कहके मना लिया कि जल्द ही मेरा बेटा विदेश से पैसा कमा कर वापस आ जायेगा. मुझे अनेक लोगों ने, कुछ ने व्यंगपूर्वक तो कुछ ने सांत्वना देते हुए, ये कहा कि एक बार जो विदेश चला जाता है वो लौट के वापस नहीं आता. पर मेरा मन इस बात को मानने के लिए हरगिज़ तैयार नहीं था कि मेरा बेटा वापस नहीं आएगा. उन सभी लोगों को बिना कुछ कहे मैं ईश्वर से यही मानती कि वो मेरे पास वापस आ जाये.

शुरू शुरू में मेरे बेटे का फ़ोन रोज़ ही आ जाया करता था. धीरे धीरे वो भी अपने काम में इतना व्यस्त हो गया कि फ़ोन का आना रोज़ से हफ्ते में एक दिन हो गया और फिर हफ्ते से महीने में एक दिन. देखते ही देखते सात साल बीत गए. जहाँ एक ओर मुझे उसके वापस आने कि चाह रहती वहीँ दूसरी ओर मुझे लगता कि वो अकेला वहां कैसे अपना जीवन व्यतीत कर रहा होगा.

वैसे तो जीवन से कोई शिकायत नहीं है मेरी, बस एक ही अरदास है की मेरा बेटा जल्द ही वापस आ जाये जिससे मैं इस जीवन को त्यागने से पहले उसकी खुशियों में शामिल हो सकू.

Source for Image: http://blissfullydomestic.com/life-bliss/retail-me-not-mothers-day-promotion-7-days-7-ways-to-win/123131/

Chase your Satisfaction!

There was a time when I was about to graduate from college after having done B.Tech from IIT Kanpur, India and an MBA from Paris and I wondered which career path I should opt for. On one hand, where the private sector with its perks and salaries pulled me towards itself, on the other hand, a burning desire to create some difference in the lives of the so many around me, made my decision making extremely difficult.

As any other person would have done in such a situation, I decided to take advice from anyone and everyone who was more experienced than me and who could possibly tell me what to do. I consulted my seniors, who suggested me to go into Investment Banking, because of the kind of money on offer. I consulted my professors who advised me to venture out into academics and research. My parents and near and dear ones wanted me to prepare for the Civil Services Examination in India.

Opinions came pouring in from all sides and I was left more confused. The entire exercise concerning me receiving opinions from different kinds of people didn’t do much good. I could realize that no one else but I would have to find the answers to all the questions related to my career.

It was then that I decided to prepare a list of careers which I might be interested in and the pros and cons attached to each one of them. The pros and cons were listed based on the facts that I could find about the different careers along with my own perception about the kind of satisfaction I would derive if I were to choose that particular career option.

Much to my surprise, after having listed down all the career options along with the pros and cons, I still wasn’t in a position to decide what would be best for me. If I chose one, the thought that I would lose upon the pros of the other, didn’t let me have a sound sleep at night.

Not learning from others’ experiences, I decided to give a shot at the three most preferred career options myself. I joined a multi-national company with perks that one can only dream about. Though, everything was good about this job, I couldn’t find happiness and satisfaction in what I was doing. After having worked there for a couple of months, I took a decision to quit.

It was time for me to have a go at the second most preferred option. I decided to do some research work on one of my favourite topics from my MBA days, Corporate Governance. I got so involved in doing this research that I ended up publishing an entire book on the same topic. The moment all the formalities for publishing the book got over, I was left with a void in me and I could feel that I wouldn’t be able to do this all my life.

As a result, I decided to turn towards the third most preferred option of freelancing and writing novels (fiction) at the same time. Freelancing provided me with the freedom and independence that I had always craved for and writing, which had been the love of my life since my childhood days, gave me immense pleasure.

Life seemed wonderful. I was finally doing what I wanted to do. But there was this persistent desire to contribute towards nation building. Having experienced and witnessed the inequality prevalent in our society, I aspired to make our society more just and compassionate.

I believe that every citizen has a role to play in the development of one’s own country and I have decided to do my part. In this entire journey of self-exploration, the thing that I learned and which would always remain with me is that no matter how much one earns, no matter how luxurious a life one lives; at the end of the day what matters is satisfaction that you get after doing something good in life and the kind of happiness that only your heart can feel and let you know.

For all those who are reading this right now, my only advice to you is:

“You will come across several experts who would give you their own interpretation of success. But you should listen to what your heart says, for only your heart can tell as to what is best for you.

What I can say from my own experience is that working in private sector can give you

everything in life that you can possibly associate with luxury and materialistic happiness, but the kind of pleasure you will get to experience if you decide to volunteer in the process of nation building and social development is beyond any other pleasure that you can possibly think of.

Not only does a career in this field gives you the freedom to put your vision and original ideas into action but also provides you with an opportunity to get exposed to the entire project details from its initiation till the end. This ensures that your learning is not limited to just one aspect of the project.

On a professional front, the best part is that you get a chance to work with people from all walks of life, be it a doctor or a social activist/politician and thereby get to hear different opinions and perspectives from different kinds of people, at the same time getting an opportunity to work on variety of projects and assignments, which in turn enables you to derive professional and personal satisfaction.

So, instead of chasing money and all the materialistic possessions of life, I would suggest you to chase your satisfaction.”

Source: http://www.indevjobs.org/article/chase-your-satisfaction.htm

Respect the Moments!

There are a couple of days in your life which you will never be able to forget, not that you want to forget. The scenes and imagery associated with these days never seem to decay from your memory and you cherish living those moments again and again.

Whether it be becoming a parent for the first time, or getting married for the first and hopefully the last time , whether it be emerging successful in an examination or be it your first successful proposal and acceptance of the same.

These are the moments that make our lives so beautiful indeed. These are the very moments which will remain with you forever and ever. These are the moments which you will cherish throughout your life. These are the moments which you would want to relive again. These are the moments which you won’t want to exchange for anything in this world.

There are times when you would just close your eyes and reminisce about the very same moments. A smile seems to appear on your face the instant these moments start to move like a feature film right in front of your closed eyes.

You are able to witness each and every scene and feel each and every emotion that you went through when you had the fortune of making those moments yours. You are truly in a state of trans where the world no longer seems to be a harsh place to live in, where all the problems look really small, where nothing else seems to matter but those moments and the happiness associated with the same.

It is said that when there will be no one around you to take care of you and provide you with comfort and happiness, then there will be these moments which will remain with you and give you company till the day you perish and so will the moments along with you.

Considering that these moments play such an important role in all our lives, do we end up giving them their due when the occassion beckons or do we end up ignoring the significance of the very same moments?

How ironical it is that the things which seem to have immense significance in our lives, we tend to take the very same things for granted. Be it wishing your parents or close ones on their birthdays or your wife on the anniversary day, we, men, more often than not mess up things with silly reasons such as, “Sorry, I forgot”.

By forgetting such important moments, you indeed tend to feel sorry about the fact that you neglected the same when it mattered the most.

When you are young and happening you don’t seem to give importance to such events in life. It is only when you enter the last part of our journey, you will end up repenting on the things which you could have done better and certainly didn’t require too much of efforts on your part.

My only advice to all those who think that they are acting macho by adopting a cool-dude style of “it doesn’t matter”, think again, for this machoism wouldn’t remain with you forever. What will do remain are these moments.

The Lucky Few!

I would like to confess that when I get bored, one of the options that I often take to get rid of my boredom is to watch tv soaps, the ones which you will usually find saans and bahus watching sitting together in a room on the same sofa.

And today, I happened to be watching this tv soap, bade acche lagte hain which in some ways, has become one of my favourite serials of late. While watching one of the scenes a beautiful dialogue came along where the hero says to the heroine, “aaj dekho main kahan se kahan aa gaya hoon, The Ram Kapoor is now a normal man and look, here you are standing next to this common man. After all this wait when we have got this opportunity to stay together, I can’t even say that I am the same person.”

“You know Mr. Kapoor, I made an entry in your life when you had already become the Mr. Ram Kapoor, but the fun lies in treading the path to success and not in meeting someone who has already achieved his goal in life. I am sure we will do well together.”—Heroine

It was quite a touching and a motivational dialogue, I must say and indeed had all the makings of true love. For those in their sixties and seventies who have been able to tread that path together would vouch for what Mrs. Priya Ram Kapoor said to her husband.

Though some people have totally different take on the same. One of my friends was of the opinion that Mrs. Priya Ram Kapoor type girls are an exception to the rule. They are no more to be found in today’s self-centred and materialistic world.

According to him, the girls want their husbands to be well settled in their lives. They want to have a luxurious life style and want to make sure that they get to enjoy every little luxury in life. He says that the concept of true love has disappeared in recent times.

As far as I am concerned, the true love is indeed a luxury and for those who are lucky enough to have got a chance to experience the same, there is just one simple advice that I would like to give to them: “hold on to your better halves for only a few get a chance to be holding on to the same.”

Source for Image: http://zakkalife.blogspot.in/2012/01/origami-lucky-hearts.html

A True Friend!

The weekend that has just gone by came along with its series of varied experiences. I happened to meet a guy from my college days after a span of 7 years. Much had changed since then.

The guy, who used to be one of the most prolific of thinkers and persons whom I had known in college had become a mere reflection of his self. Once the president of our hostel, now he didn’t seem to reflect the same persona as he used to, once. We always used to think that he would go a long way in his life.

To some extent he has, but not as much as we might have expected him to go. He says that the destiny has not been very kind to him. A sequence of incidents in his life has changed him a lot. He has been through really tough times.

Though, he says that the tough part is over, yet the consequences of the same seemed to have followed him wherever he decides to go and in turn has brought once again in front of his eyes, harsh realities which he would so want to forget.

They say that a one-off incident is easily forgotten, but when that one-off incident is a life-altering experience then one needs to think twice before making such a statement.

As a friend, it doesn’t feel good having seen the man in the state that he is. As a friend, I would want everything to go back to normal in his life. As a friend, I would always wish the best for him.

But the question is, as a friend, can I help him overcome the setbacks that he has been through in his life? As a friend, can I make sure that he is able to think in a positive manner? As a friend, can I help him in his recovery process?

Even if I cannot decide things for him, I can certainly give him the support or the best advice that I possibly can, based on my understanding of his perceptions and thought process. Even if I am unable to do the above, I can still stand next to him, providing him the mental and emotional support that he might need in his life. After all, that’s what friends are supposed to do.

It is very natural and easy to criticize someone for having tread the path that they did. But, a true friend, instead of criticizing would try to help the other in ways he or she possibly wants to be helped.

A true friend would not wait for help to be demanded, instead would offer voluntarily. A true friend will not make fun of the person in front of others, but would try to figure out a reason and the solution for the same.

I have come across different kind of people in my life and I would want to believe that no matter how much selfish or self-centred one might become, there will always be this small amount of goodness hidden in some corner, which would propel one to do good things in life and in turn make him or her a responsible and a dependable person.

The only question that you need to answer and take a call on is whether you want to explore that corner and bring out the goodness from the same.

Source for Image: http://myexposition.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/the-values-of-friendship/

The Responsibility!

Yesterday I was talking to a kid, some 7 to 8 years old, who lives next door. I was amazed to see the kind of exposure young kids are getting these days via the internet or the television.

And it is not always that they get exposed to ethical or good things in life. More often than not, courtesy the kind of tv soaps and programmes being telecasted, they end up getting exposed to the unethical and bad part, which they learn thereafter.

The credit for them learning the same goes to their parents and teachers who demonstrate the same that their children see on tv in their real lives by treading on the path wherein the parents would go to any extent to have and maintain a lavish lifestyle.

In such a situation, how can we expect the youngsters to learn a moral way of life, when they are being made to learn that one can only lead a happy and satisfied life if he or she thinks just about himself or herself without really being concerned about the others in the society and without being concerned about what is right and what is wrong.

As one can already notice that the next generation is more street smart then the previous one and the parents take great pride in the fact that their child is becoming what can be called a chalta purja who is capable enough to take on the world with his/her intellect and smartness and is able to emerge out successful and rich, irrespective of the means being employed for the same.

With such unethical and immoral encouragement given by their parents to boost their egos, they end up becoming irresponsible citizens of our nation, which has immense and drastic consequences when it comes to the well being of our society.

A multi-pronged approach is the need of the hour to stop this degradation that is taking place in our society. The parents should try to ensure that their child is exposed to ethical things in life and this should be reinforced by their own actions.

The schools should ensure that the children are made to learn and rehearse the virtues of life with special recognition given to those who end up doing so.

My parents tell me that when they were young, with the kind of joint family system that was prevalent in those days, morals and virtues were passed on to them from their grandparents who would ask them to sit down and would narrate all the stories with a thing or two to learn at the completion of the story.

WIth the joint family system taking a beating in the present scenario and the parents not having the time and energy to devote towards their children, it becomes even more probable for a child to get influenced more by the things he or she is being exposed to in terms of tv or internet.

With no one at disposal to offer him or her a correct interpretation and explanation, the child has no choice but to accept what he or she sees or witnesses and thereby starts seeking immediate gratification. As a result it leads to the formation of a poor cognitive framework in the mind of the child which tends to get reinforced by the kind of things happening in the real world and an attitude which can be described as impulsive and self-centred.

The child might even astray from the normal and might end up commiting things in life which a parent would certainly not be proud of.

So, all parents of my generation out there, what are you waiting for? You need to start behaving like a parent and make sure that your child is not left alone in this world which is so full of vices, until they are big enough to be able to differentiate between what’s right and what’s wrong.

Source for Image: http://cameron-jung.deviantart.com/art/Energy-Film-Long-Exposure-53339778, http://candiland30thedition.wordpress.com/tag/change/

 

The Focus!

How many times do we end up focusing on things which are not so relevant and significant in life? Things, which one uses as an excuse to run away from something about which one doesn’t seem to find appropriate matter of substance.

Things, which one can use to blind those who might have wanted results from the effective implementation of that one significant thing. Things, which always will haunt us in the times to come.

And one such concept which is so talked about in the national and international parlance is the concept of GDP, which since its initiation was aimed to provide cues to the government enabling them to see in which sector they might have to frame their policies in the right manner for the want of some progress, which had been halted in the same due to certain bottlenecks.

But little did Keynes knew that his concept, which was meant to reveal the market value of all goods and services produced within a country, would be used to hide the malace that might be going on in the entire World.

What amazes me the most is that things like Human Development Index (HDI) which is nothing but a reflection of the state of health and education in the countries worldwide, seems to take a backseat with GDP taking the lead in all the discussions being conducted on the economy.

The common man or the aam aadmi, who is too ignorant to understand the significance of the concepts, ends up believing that their country is being run in the best possible manner. With no political will aimed at educating the very same aam aadmi, they have no option but to tow in line with the logic that the governments around the world tend to give to their citizens.

And with no better alternatives at their disposal, they end up having no choice when it comes to voting a party into power. But are only the political parties that are to be blamed for the menace that our political system seems to be caught into? or Are we as people of a nation to be blamed for furthering our own ends at any cost what so ever?

To find the answers to the above, I decided to venture out and had the fortune and the privilege of talking to one such aam aadmi:

“Bhaiya, why do you vote for a political party?”—Me

“It is because they will take care of our needs and will ensure that all our problems are taken care of.”—Aam Aadmi

“By problems, do you mean drinking, sanitation, health, education in and around your village?”—Me

“No, I am talking about the disputes that I keep having in the village. They make sure that I get the upper hand in the duo that ensues.”—-Aam Aadmi

“But for the fight that you are having, there is our administration and the police you should go to. Why do you need to go to any person belonging to a particular political party?”—Me

“It is because the police and the administration never seems to report on time. They are either unavailable or unapproachable. In that case, we are left with no choice but to look for people with power and money, who end up becoming our mai-baap. Now, you tell me if you don’t vote for such men then who will take care of us.”—Aam Aadmi

I had no answer for what the aam aadmi had asked me. In lieu of our administrative and bureaucratic system not functioning to the fullest of its capacity, the aam aadmi is left with no other option to seek for bahu-balis in and around their respective area, who end up getting elected from the same region.

And the story after that is known to nearly everyone in our country. Who’s fault is it then to elect such leaders? Is it the aam aadmi who has got tired being exploited again and again by those in power or the bahu-balis who tend to get elected based on their muscular and money power that they possess?

And by the way, are we too caught up in blaming others for our own grievances? A great philosopher once said that there are two primary causes behind making a human being unhappy and these are desires and expectations. Whatever bad is happening around us is because of these two evils which tend to take control of our mind and body and in turn makes us incapable of differentiating between the right and the wrong.

The soution to all what I have just said above lies in this one question that I am about to ask us all:

“Are we prepared and ready to forgo the two evils when it comes to deciding upon what is right and what is wrong?”

It is up to you to find your own answer. And if the answer to the above is YES, then you can rest assure that the system in which we are all living in and which we tend to criticize on every other opportunity that we get, is heading in the right direction and we will soon be able to witness the much sought for change.

Source for Image: http://www.zachandjody.com/blog/tuesday-photography-tips-tricks-back-button-focusing/15588/, http://www.peacharno.com/specialisms/change-management/

The Search Continues!

Today, I was watching this hockey final of Hockey India League (HIL) being played between the Delhi Warriors and Ranchi Rhinos. And suddenly came in my mother who wanted to see this stardust movie awards being telecasted on the Set Max.

What other option did I have but to let my mom take charge of the remote and in turn the television channels and suddenly I was found wanting to continue watching my hockey match.

Somehow, the curiosity in me didn’t let me sit at ease. I had to see who won the match and who took the honours. So, I requested my mother to allow me to have a look.

After having had a look at the final results, I came back to my room. As I entered the room, I wondered about why I was so curious about knowing it there and then. I could have waited for another hour, say, or for the next day, when the results would have appeared in the newspapers.

Why was it that I wanted to get rid of my curiosity on an immediate basis? Is it inherent in our curious nature to seek immediate gratification? It might be true for it tends to haunt our minds till we are able to satisfy it by discovering the answers for questions that we had been looking for.

What is more amazing is that the curiosity immediately tends to die down once the unknown beocomes known. The good thing or the bad thing though is that you are hit again by another curiosity and end up searching for new answers in life, which propels us to move ahead and explore new things in life.

Source for Image: http://www.epilepsymatters.com/english/search.html

The Regime!

Getting up early in the morning for some is an extremely difficult proposition but for others, it is an opportunity to explore yet another day and to experience new things in life. Those who have had a habit of going for a morning walk are so hooked on to it, that if they miss it for a day or two, the guilt and the feeling of having lost something is very hard to get rid off.

And in normal circumstances, the first thing that one does is to see himself/herself in a mirror. They say that mirror always speaks the truth. But when the truth is about you then, sometimes it becomes difficult to accept the same.

If the truth is about how much fat you have accumulated over time in your body, then its even harder for you to digest the fact that you have gone obese. Medically, or going by the standards a person is considered obese when his or her weight is 20% more than the normal that they are supposed to have keeping in mind the BMI index.

What an irony it is that the food items which tend to give you pleasure at one time are the very reasons for making sure that you repent for the pleasures you have had by munching upon the same, in the near future.

You end up cursing the food and more so your own taste buds for making you indulge in the very fantasy. Yesterday, I was having this conversation with none other than Saty, whom I was telling how in the past couple of days I have managed to gain if not 7 but certainly 3-4 kgs:

“Yaar, when you are at home, you end up eating all the good stuff that your mom makes for you, thereby ending up gaining weight.”—-Me

“Ya, I know, that’s why what I do is I try to control myself and see I am so fit “—Saty

“Man, how difficult it is to control. How can you ignore the ladoos and the halwa that is kept right in front of your eyes?”—-Me

“Yaar, it is all about discipline, which I think is that virtue of life which decides whether we will emerge successful or not. It is that very ingredient which decides whether it will be a make or break situation for us. Whether it be examinations or whether it be taking control of your life or weight, this is the thing that matters.”—-Saty

“Wow, Saty. You have been thinking a lot these days . But you have hit the bulls eye here. You are right. Everything in life comes down to whether you are disciplined or not. It is the secret for success and nothing but discipline itself can help you achieve what you want from life.”—-Me

“Look at all the greats including Sachin Tendulkar. It might have not been easy for him to get up every morning at 5 a.m. and put in the hard work day-in-day out. After all, he also must have felt really frustrated and down and out at times. Yet he carried on. What complements discipline is the perseverence that one has.”—-Saty

“Coupled with the perseverence one needs to have a positive mindset in order to have that self-belief which makes sure that one carries on with his or her efforts without worrying for the results or consequences and hoping that one day you will surely get to experience the sweetness that comes along with success.”—-Me

“You should take a resolution that you will try to control your eating habits. Don’t start dieting for it is the worst of the ways to reduce one’s weight. What you can do instead is to reduce the junk food that you happen to eat in a day. Don’t eat too many sweets. Eat those things which are healthy and are not deep-fried. I guess a balanced diet is the key along with a fitness regime where in you get to do both cardio and muscular training. The best is to go for yoga in the morning, say, after a walk.”—Saty

“Saty, you are talking like a fitness expert . I have read many a columns on the same. I know where this is coming from . Whatever the source, the points that you are mentioning will go a long way in helping one to remain fit, which will in turn help one to be happy and maintain that confidence which is so important when it comes to carrying yourself around and when it comes to interacting with someone, for you know that the other person will like you in case you are fit and well maintained.”—Me

“True, and that is what keeps you going and helps in making you more confident and ambitious.”—-Saty

“Saty, don’t you think, we have been able to carve out an entire theory of success here? “—-Me

“Yes, fitness leads to confidence/self-belief which leads to increased ambition/motivation which in turn leads to success.”—-Saty

“So, we know now where we have to start from. “—Me

That was it for the conversation. Truly, fitness is the most important part of our lives which we cannot afford to ignore. Good health leads to positive thoughts and a positive outlook towards life, which is extremely significant when it comes to staying happy and satisifed and in turn contributes to the well being of a person.

Guys and girls out there, what are you waiting for? It is time to go on a fitness regime and what better way to start than on a weekend itself .

Source for Image: http://blog.fooducate.com/2010/10/21/40-of-kids-calories-are-from-junk-food/, http://store.wesmen.ca/browse.cfm/group-fitness-classes/4,273.html