Kush Srivastava's Blog, page 29

The Arranged Marriage!

कहने वाले कहते हैं कि कहीं और शादी हो ना हो पर हमारे देश में शादी तो होनी ही होनी है. वैसे तो होनी को कौन टाल सकता है, मगर आज के समय में शादी कर पाना किसी प्रोजेक्ट से कम नहीं रह गया है. पूरी शिद्दत से इस प्रोजेक्ट को अंजाम तक पहुचने का हौसला होना केवल काफी नहीं रह गया है, इस कार्य को पूर्ण रूप से संपन्न करने के लिए वहां कहीं ऊपर बैठे हुए हमारे इश्वर के आशिर्वाद की भी अत्यंत ज़रुरत पड़ती है.

आज कल तो माता पिता भी कभी कभी अपने बेटे या बेटी से ये उम्मीद रखते हैं कि वे किसी अच्छे से लड़की या लड़के को पसंद करके उनके सामने प्रकट कर दे जिससे वो इस पूरे लड़के या लड़की को ढूँढने के परिक्ष्रम से बच जाये. और खुदा ना खास्ता अगर ऐसा नहीं हो पाता है तो सबसे पहली और सबसे महत्त्वपूर्ण चीज़ जिसपे वो अपना ध्यान केन्द्रित करते है, वो है कि लड़का लड़की एक दूसरे को पसंद आने चाहिए.

कल ही मैं अपनी नानी जी से बात कर रहा था. “बेटा हमारे समय में तो हमारे माता पिता ही लड़का पसंद करके आ जाते थे और हमें वही शादी के लिए अपनी रजामंदी देने के सिवा कोई और चारा नहीं होता था. फूटी किस्मत देखो मेरी, तुम्हारे नानाजी से शादी कर मैं कितना पछता रही हूँ . आज का ज़माना तो बदल गया है. तुम लोगों को तो पहले लड़की पसंद आनी चाहिए वरना तुम लोग तो ऐसे हो कि मंडप से ही भाग जाओगे. वैसे मेरा मानना है कि समय के साथ साथ इंसान की सोच में भी परिवर्तन आना अत्यंत आवश्यक है, वरना हम जैसे नाना नानी और दादा दादी तुम्हारी पीढ़ी के लोगों को कैसे समझ पाएंगे और ये दोनों पीढ़ियों के लिए अच्छा है. इसी से घर में शान्ति बरकरार रहती है और एक अत्यंत ही खुशियों से पूर्ण वातावरण घर में बना रहता है. ”

ये तो रही घर में खुशियाँ बरकरार रहने की बात. लेकिन खुशियाँ तो तब आएँगी जब पहले एक सुशील और अच्छी बहु घर में आएगी. ये बहु को चुनने की प्रक्रिया भी अजीब ही होती है. शुरू में दोनों परिवारों के बड़े एक दूसरे से मिलते हैं. अगर सब कुछ उन्हें ठीक लगता है, तभी लड़के को लड़की से मिलवाया जाता है. बहुत बार ऐसा होता है कि बात दोनों परिवारों के बड़ों तक ही सीमित रह जाती है.

लड़के और लड़की को मिल पाने का मौका भी नहीं मिल पाता है. और मान लो सब कुछ जान भूजने के बाद अगर लड़का लड़की इश्वर कि कृपा से मिलते भी हैं, तो भी उन्हें ये समझ नहीं आता कि वो एक दूसरे से ऐसी क्या बात करें कि उन्हें ये पता चल जाये कि वही उनके लिए सही जीवनसाथी है. ऐसे में बातें एक दूसरे की हौबीस तक ही सीमित रह जाती हैं. हाँ एक दूसरे को देख कर मन में शादी के लड्डू ज़रूर फूटते नज़र आ सकते हैं.

मिलने के पश्चात, दोनों परिवार अपने बच्चों के हाथ धोके पीछे पढ़ जाते हैं ये जानने के लिए कि उन्हें जीवनसाथी के रूप में मिलवाया गया इंसान कैसा लगा. अगर जवाब हाँ में होता है तब तो मानो दोनों परिवारों की समस्या का समाधान हो जाता है, लेकिन अगर जवाब ना में होता है तो फिर लड़की और लड़के दोनों को इस ना के पीछे छुपे राज़ का पर्दा फाश करने को कहा जाता है और एक बार फिर दोनों परिवार अपने बच्चों की ना को हाँ में बदलने के लिए एक बार फिर पूरे तन्न मन धन से उनके पीछे लग जाते हैं.

अगर मामला गंभीर होता नज़र आता है और बच्चों की सोच उनको सही लगती है, तो परिवार के बुजुर्ग अपने  बच्चों की बात मान लेते हैं और फिर से किसी और परिवार के साथ यही प्रक्रिया को शुरू करने में लग जाते हैं और तब तक लगे रहते हैं जब तक वो इस कार्य को पूरी निष्ठा से पूर्ण ना कर ले.

एक ओर जहाँ माता पिता अपने प्रयास को आगे बढ़ाते हैं, वहीँ दूसरी ओर लड़का थक हार कर अपने मन में बसे अपने जीवन साथी की तस्वीर को थोडा सा और सच्चाई के करीब लाने की कोशिश में लग जाता हैं. शुरू में तो सबको कैटरिना जैसी लड़की ही चाहिए होती है, धीरे धीरे उनको समझ में आ जाता है, की अगर उन्हें शादी करनी है तो शायद उन्हें किसी आम लड़की को ही अपनी पत्नी के रूप में स्वीकार करना होगा, क्योंकि वो भी कोई रणबीर तो है नहीं कि उन्हें कैटरिना मिल जाये.

अन्तथा पूरी शिद्दत से करे हुए प्रयत्न हेतु ऐसा दिन आ ही जाता है जब लड़का लड़की के साथ साथ दोनों परिवारों का मिलन होता है. जहाँ एक तरफ दोनों परिवारों के सदस्य जीवन के इस पड़ाव की खुशियों में डूब जाते हैं, वहीँ दूसरी तरफ, वहीँ उपर बैठे हमारे इश्वर उनके इस हर्षो उल्लास को देखकर मन ही मन कह रहे होते हैं, “बेटा अभी तो ज़िन्दगी शुरू हुई है, आगे आगे देखिये होता है क्या”

Source for Image: http://whimsical-saga.blogspot.in/2011/12/indian-penchant-for-arranged-marriages.html, http://wasdarwinwrong.com/kortho24.htm

Being a Parent to your Child!

It seems like ages have gone by and here I am once again returning back to something that I so love doing. It is not that I didn’t have ideas to deliberate upon or think upon. Neither was it a lack of love towards what I generally call my hobby, though for some it might be a matter of bread and butter.

It might sound a cliche that for the past couple of days had just flown by without me realizing that it had been a while before I have had the opportunity to log on to my blog and look at what’s going on in the same. How often have you guys have had the same kind of experience of time just running away and you trying to catch up with the speed with which it seems to outrun you on every occasion?

It is very much like a cat and mouse game, similar to what we have seen in Tom and Jerry, where we know what’s going to be the outcome of the chase, yet we end up indulging in the same, for the want of the very activity that seems to propel us forward every time we think about the same.

Somehow, I have realized that it is nearly impossible to do everything in the world that you might want to do or accomplish in life. Thinking about the to-do list that you might have prepared for yourself might give you jitters and might even end up giving you high BP and lot of stress.

I guess that’s why the entire concept of priority came into being. By putting all the content that you might have gathered in your to-do list and re-organizing it into a priority list might help you become more focus at the same time, make sure that you put all your efforts and energy into that one particular aim that you happen to find at the top of your priority list, rather than wondering about how you will be able to accomplish the rest of the things mentioned in your to-do list.

And by slowly moving towards the other items taking each one at a time, having successfully accomplished the first, not only gives you more confidence and motivation but also helps you overcome the stress associated with the thought process which always leaves that 1% chance of what if I am unable to accomplish what I had initially set for?

Isn’t it always good to be working without too much pressure on your shoulders? Which brings us to a point where parents in today’s world are expecting a lot of things from their kids. I often see kids with big bags on their shoulders going to tuition and coaching right after their school and ending up getting exhausted, just because their parents want them to outperform their best friend’s son or daughter, giving very little importance to what the kid might be interested in doing.

I know it is easier said than done and every parent wants their kid to reach the top of the ladder, but the thing that needs to be deliberated upon and argued is whether the parents are adopting the right approach when they end up forcing their child to do something which he or she might be totally averse to.

The other day, parents of a 16 year old, happened to visit, thinking that I might be able to help them with their so called self-perceived problem that their child happened to be facing.

After the initial introduction, the parents started talking about what all their child was doing wrong and the bad habits that their child had developed over time.

“You see, he doesn’t listen to us. He is always into video games. I don’t know what to do with him. He has lost all his focus. He doesn’t even understand how his future is shaping up. If he continues to do so, how will he able to get through IITs.”—–Parents 

After having spoken for another 10-15 minutes, they finally took a deep breath, waiting for me to give them the magic wand that they believed would change their child’s future.

“I am glad that you are concerned about your child. Very few parents, in today’s busy World are concerned about their kids. Many a times, they are found busy enjoying with their respective colleagues and friends. But Mr. X, have you ever spoken to your child about what you think would be good for him? Have you ever tried to understand what all things he might be going through in his school or coaching? 

Have you ever talked to your son about what he might want to do with his life? Mr. X, these are things that we as parents tend to forget about. Remember the days, when you yourself was a kid and how you would do things that your parents wouldn’t approve off, at times even indulging in things like smoking or drinking. Now, since you have become parents, you have stopped thinking like what it is like to be a child.

I am sure, Mr. X, that you want the best for your child, but then have you ever thought about his ambitions and his aim in life, what he might want to become or what aspirations he might have for himself. Mr. X, I have seen kids go into depression and indulge in unwanted activities like doing drugs etc, just because they are not able to convince their own parents that they are different from other children and need their own space and time to develop and grow into productive individuals in society, just because they don’t trust their parents to understand what they have to offer to them. 

More often than not, it is we parents who end up on the wrong side of the table not being able to understand and give support to our son’s or daughter’s wishes and ambitions. I am not saying that they are right in whatever they might be thinking, but then isn’t it better to discuss with them why some things are good and why some are not. That’s where, you as a parent, have to chip in with your advice and opinions that you have gathered over a huge span of time and the kind of experience that you have gained over your lifetime. After all your hair have not grown grey just like that . 

Mr. X, isn’t it better to develop that faith and trust in your child towards you that no matter what happens to him, you will always be there to provide him with that unconditional support that he so deserves for being your child. Think of the times, when you craved for a son, and when he is there with you, you are not appreciating to the fullest the fact that you have been bestowed with a gift that you had so craved for. 

Mr. X, be gentle with him. Discuss his problems like a friend without being too  judgmental about his opinions and views, even though they might be wrong. Listen to what he has to say to you, and if you think that there is something wrong in his thought process, then try to tell him things that you think are right at the same time giving reasons and concrete examples on why you think it as the right opinion or point of view in an extremely polite and gentle manner. 

I am sure, Mr. X, that this will go a long way in you developing a rapport with him, just like you have always wished for and your efforts will certainly pay off sometime in the near future.

We chatted for some more time, after which, the parents took my leave. Though I had spoken my heart out and had tried convincing them of the virtues of being an understanding parent, I wonder when that time would come when all the parents in this world would begin to accept their child in the manner he or she is, without making any comparison with the kid-next-door, without worrying about whether the kid will be successful in keeping the family’s flag flying high, without expecting too much from him or her and loving him or her unconditionally for what he or she is.

Source for Image: http://www.scfamilylaw.com/2013/07/11/study-examines-the-effects-of-divorce-on-childrens-relationships-later-in-life/, http://menz.org.nz/menz-issues/june-1998/, http://blog.patsnap.com/?p=468

Thank you माँ !

कहते हैं कि एक माँ ही अपने बच्चे को खुद से ज्यादा प्यार कर पाती है और दुनिया में ऐसा कोई और रिश्ता नहीं जो ऐसा प्यार कर सके भले ही वो एक प्रेमी का अपनी प्रेमिका के लिए हो या फिर एक पिता का अपने बच्चों के लिए.

जब हम छोटे होते हैं तो माँ ही हमारे पीछे भाग भाग कर हमें खाना खिलाती है. हमारी सारी उलटी सीधी फर्मायेशों को पूरा करने का हर प्रयास करती है. हमें चोट लगती है तो सबसे ज्यादा दर्द माँ को ही होता है. हमारी तबियत खराब होती है तो माँ ही रात रात भर जाग कर हमारे पास बैठी रहती है.

माँ ही बिना कुछ कहे हमारे मन की सारी बातें एक पल में समझ जाती है. पूरी निष्ठां और पूरे समर्पण से माँ हमारे लिए वो सब कर जाती है जो एक आम मनुष्य करने की सोच भी नहीं सकता और अगर सोच भी ले तो उसको पूरा नहीं कर सकता.

बहुत से मनोवैज्ञानिक कहते हैं कि ये सब करना हमारे समाज में सम्मान पाने का माओं के लिए एक साधन है. अगर वो ऐसा ना करें तो उन्हें इस समाज में प्रतिष्ठा और इज्जत नहीं मिलेगी जितना उन्हें ये सब कर के मिलती है.

पहले तो मैं ऐसे तर्क से इत्तेफाक नहीं रखता और एक पल को मान भी लें कि ये मनोवैज्ञानिक सच कह रहे हैं तो भी ऐसा कर पाना इतना कठिन है कि इसके पीछे कोई भी कारण हो वो सम्मानजनक और पूजनीय ही हो सकता है.

इसलिए जब भी हमारे मन में अपनी माँ के प्रति ऐसा कोई भाव आये या हमें ऐसा लगे कि हम आत्मनिर्भर हैं तो हमें यही सोच लेना चाहिए कि आज जो कुछ भी हम हैं वो सिर्फ और सिर्फ अपनी माँ की वजह से ही हैं.

कहते हैं जो वास्तु हमें बहुत आसानी से प्राप्त हो जाती है उसकी हमें क़द्र नहीं होती. माँ हमारे जीवन में एक ऐसी महत्त्वपूर्ण इंसान हैं, जिनके बिना हमारा कुछ कर पाना तो दूर की बात, अगर वो नहीं होती तो हम सांस भी नहीं ले पा रहे होते.

हाँ ये बात अलग है कि एक माँ कभी भी अपने बच्चों पे एहसान या हक़ नहीं जमाती ये कह के कि मैंने तुम्हारे लिए कितना किया. इसीलिए शायद कभी कभी हमारे अंदर का इंसान अपनी इंसानियत भूल जाता है.

और हम उसी माँ के बुढ़ापे का सहारा बन्ने के बजाये उसे ऐसे मौके पे अकेला छोड़ के अपने निजी सपनो को पूरा करने में लग जाते हैं. हम ये भूल जाते हैं कि हमारे उन्ही सपनो का निर्माण हमारी माँ ने ही किया था. और अगर वो ऐसा नहीं करती तो न हम होते और न हमारे ये सपने.

मुझे नहीं पता कि भगवान् हैं या नहीं. मुझे नहीं पता कि हम इस ज़िन्दगी को जीने के पश्चात किस रूप में कहाँ और क्या कर रहे होंगे. मुझे नहीं पता कि हम फिर से मनुष्य योनी में जन्म लेंगे या नहीं. मुझे नहीं पता कि इस संसार में आने का क्या लक्ष्य है.

पर मुझे ये ज़रूर पता है कि हमें अपने माता पिता का पूरी श्रधा और पूरे सम्मान और आदर के साथ ख्याल रखना चाहिए, केवल इसलिए नहीं कि उन्होंने हमारे लिए ये सब किया पर इसलिए भी क्योंकि उन्ही से हमारा अस्तित्व है और उन्ही से हमारी सफलता या असफलता.

After reading what I have just written some would be compelled to believe that today is the mother’s day. But even if it is not, I believe there is not a single day that goes by when you

cannot but thank your mother for whatever she has done for you and continues to do so without any expectation what so ever.

Such great and high is her stature that nothing else in the World can match up to the dedication and sincerity that a mother has for her kid. Even a father cannot replicate the same kind of love and affection that a mother has for her child.

That’s why it is said, एक माँ का स्थान इश्वर से भी ऊचा होता है. Today, through thishumble post of mine, I want to give a tribute to all the mothers out there who toil in selflessly day-in-day-out just to make sure that their kids and family get all the happiness in this

World.

Source for Image: http://acelebrationofwomen.org/2013/05/on-mothers-day-its-you-and-me-against-the-world-may-12/

Scared, Are you?

A very recent incident in my life has made me “right” this one. It is not often that you want to avail the service of a public transport in smaller cities and towns in India, considering that the available space inside the same is utilized so efficiently that where only 2 persons are supposed to be seated, the conductor or the driver of the public transport will make sure that at least double the legitimate number is made to fit in the same space. If that was not enough, a couple of people who happen to be standing next to you, would be found leaning over for want of some space and air, coming through the windows.

But this is just the tip of an iceberg, when it comes to being scared of a thing or having some apprehensions about the same. A couple of days back, having heard so much about the state of the public transport in my city, I decided to experience it first hand. And there I was, travelling in this bus, which was supposed to take me from a place called Mahanagar to Hazratganj, which resembles the likes of CP in New Delhi, when it comes to the colour combinations that have been used to adorn the place.

Having barely managed to squeeze in the bus, I was lucky to have found a seat next to a gentleman, who looked to be in his twenties. One thing that foreigners find quite funny in case of us, Indians, is that no matter whether we know the person sitting besides us in a journey, we are very good and keen on starting a conversation with the unknown person available at our disposal.

Not only do we happen to talk about the general affairs going on in our country ranging from what Modi might be up to in the coming elections to would Dhoni be implicated in the IPL crisis that has ensued in recent times, but also about our own personal issues ranging from what my boss might have said to me the very day, to what would happen if my child happens to fail this year.

Keeping what I can call the tradition intact, the gentleman (whom I will refer to as G, from here on ), sitting to my left, started the conversation.

“Hi, so where are you going?”—G

“Hi, to Hazratganj, and you?”—me

“I am going to charbagh, to catch this train. You see, my luggage is kept right above me. Actually, my uncle’s son is getting married, so I am going for his ceremony. So, you are originally from Lucknow?”—G

“Yes, very much .”—me

“By the way, yesterday I went to this place called Indira Dam. Have you been there?”—G

“Ya, I have been there twice. Nice place, I must say.”—me

“What nice! You know what happened yesterday. I went there with a couple of friends. It was 6 p.m. in the evening. As we were walking past this barrage, we saw this lady lying unconscious on one side of the road. One of us even thought about calling the police, but we were too scared to get involved.”—G

“So, you didn’t inform the police?”—me

“We did. But it was only after we had left the place, from a P.C.O. (Public call office) located some 2 kms away. You know how it is with Police. With no fault of yours, they might indict you for something which you cannot even think of in your wildest of dreams and even if you happen to find a good policeman, then also you wouldn’t want to be going to the court as a witness every now and then, for the case might go on and on, considering the state of our judiciary, which takes ages to issue verdicts on cases.”—-G

“Hmm! Then what happened. Did you follow up?”—me

“Not really! We just hung up the phone, after informing the police of the whereabouts of the lady. Later on, we came to know that in recent times, a couple of people have been found murdered at the same place and people have even spotted a couple of bodies floating in the running water at times.”—-G

“That sounds awful.”—me

“Ya, so many things are so awful in our country, if I can refer to it as my country in the first place. You must have already noticed the cap that I am wearing. I am a Muslim and for Muslims, especially the underprivileged ones, life is not so easy. You see, for every other blast or terrorist attack that takes place in this country, we are the first ones to be rounded by the police. We are made to suffer for no fault of ours, at times. That’s why, so much of resentment can be found in the Muslim youths, who find it easier to astray rather than comply with the laws of the country. On top of that, these political parties try to throw freebies at us, thinking that we can be cajoled by their futile efforts, which is nothing but a mockery of the political system in our country.”—G

“Hmm!”—me. 

“I know, it is a very sensitive matter. Instead of treating us like aliens, the political parties will do good if they can just treat us at par with every other citizen of this country. Anyways, this gets prioritized only for namesake at the time of elections and later on it is found no where on the agenda that the political parties are so proud of presenting during their election campaigns.”—G

“That is very true. But then why don’t you try to get rid of all these political leaders who talk as if they are the representatives of the entire Muslim community and take matters in your own hand, by creating awareness and vouching for some political and social work?”—me

“If it was so easy, then don’t you think every other person would end up doing the same? These very political leaders create so many hurdles and for a common man like me and you, it comes down to a choice. Whether we want to continue living our lives in the same pseudo-peaceful manner or do we want to disturb the peace of our minds by going against the Hukumat.“—G

“Hmm! You know, a day would come and in some ways, it has already, in at least the Naxal affected parts of our country, when people would take up arms and would revolt against the atrocities and crimes that are being committed by our administration.”—me

“True! You know what is more moving on an emotional level. When we lose lives just because of maladministration and faulty decision making on part of our government. You see, what’s happening in Uttarakhand. So many lives have been destroyed. So many people have gone missing and no one can predict when their lives will go back to normal.”—G

“Ya, it is very sad to see that knowingly we opt to sit on a time bomb, waiting for it to explode. Faulty constructions and the approvals for the very same granted by none other than our administrators, coupled with total ignorance of the environment has resulted in a major tragedy which will continue to haunt the lives of those affected for many years to come.”—-me

“Yes, and the lack of preparedness on part of our government is a sheer nonsense, which shows that no one is really concerned about what’s happening with this country. Everyone is busy looking for avenues where they can make quick bucks in order to secure the future for themselves and their loved ones. Oh, your stop has come. I guess its time to say bye. How soon time flies by! It was nice meeting you. Allah ne chaha to fir milenge.”—-G

“It was a pleasure talking to you. I am sure we will meet sometime in the future .”—-me

And there I was bidding goodbye to this wonderful gentleman. As I got down, having experienced the journey which began as a test of the public transport in my city, I wondered whether the picture of my country that had been depicted of in the conversation that I just had with G, would ever improve.

Being an optimist that I am, I certainly believe that there is still time to bring our country back on the right track. Lots needs to be done not only on part of our government but also as individuals. It might require some sacrifices and hardships.

The question, though is, are we all prepared to think over and above our selfish ends and rise up to the occasion to eradicate the fear that has for so long kept haunting us for the want of corrective actions in our lives?

Source for Image: http://punjab-tim.blogspot.in/2010/03/no-seat-belts-requiredindian-buses.html, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/30/top-5-police-brutality-vi_n_115921.html, http://www.deccanchronicle.com/130701/news-politics/article/congress-bjp-twitter-war-over-uttarakhand

From ‘Rags’ to ‘To be Riches’!

It is not exactly a rags to riches story. Yet, I believe it is one in the making. I am sure we all have heard about people from different and not very affluent backgrounds striking Gold in their life. But have you ever had the pleasure of witnessing and listening to one such feat from the person himself/herself?

Monday night was one such night where I happened to be sitting right in front of a man who is all set to become what I can call a true inspiration for so many out there, in the near future. Without going into the details of who this guy is and what he is up to these days, because that, you all will in any case come to know in a couple of years time, let me take the liberty of introducing him as an individual and as a person.

Apart from the achievements that he has managed to adorn himself with, in this short interval of life that he has led, what was inspiring was the manner in which he continues to lead his life. With utter simplicity, he keeps on doing what he used to do, say a couple of years back when he was seemingly no-one.

He says, “Not much has changed for me on a personal front. I am the same person as I used to be. I respect my parents in the same way, irrespective of what they could provide to me in terms of materialistic possessions of life. I care for my brother and sister in the same manner as I used to do earlier.

Only that people now respect me and my family for what I have been able to accomplish which they all call achievement. To me, I feel happy, at the same time, it seems a bit funny as to how the perceptions and opinions of the society including those of the extended family change on seeing someone rising up the ladder, which makes me believe that if you are not up there then the society will make sure to pull you down to the levels which at times the entire humanity would be ashamed of.

I guess, I owe my success to the society as well. If it was not there, then may be I wouldn’t have had the same kind of motivation. If the society had not ridiculed me at every other stage of my life I wouldn’t have been able to do what I could. More than a motivation, it became a necessity. 

Those were real desperate times. My father didn’t use to have enough money even to feed us well, what to talk of sending me away for education. But I was a good student in my school. I knew that if I had to come out of this vicious circle of poverty then I needed to study and work hard. 

Though, I had that motivation, I didn’t have the resources. If it were not for a couple of friends that I had back then, I wouldn’t be what I am today. It is said that God always finds a way to help the needy. Who can vouch for this better than myself! It was indeed a divine intervention which gave a 180 degree turn to my career and my life. 

And today, I am here talking to you about all the stuff that I have been through in my lifetime . Here I am in a position where I can support my family and fulfill their wishes. Where I can give them all the things that I couldn’t get when I was a kid. Where I can afford to pursue my hobbies and fulfill what I always thought of doing as a child and am all set to go on a cycle tour of India. Would you like to join? “

There I was talking to this enthusiastic and confident lad who’s personality has changed leaps and bounds from the days when he used to sit outside a small hut in a not so affluent village in India. 

And by the way, the cycle tour proposition is too enticing an offer to resist. After all, we share the same chulli (curiosity) and which is to travel and explore things that are unknown to us and get a chance to experience life in a way as I have never done before. Wanna join?

Source for Image: http://digcms.com/2010/09/15/creative-shadow-vector-designs-inspiration/,http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2012/01/29/krishna-will-hear-your-prayer/

Religious Indulgence!

I happened to get up real early this morning. Since, it is not often that we get to see the rising sun these days, courtesy the kind of lifestyle we all tend to lead, I decided to take a walk in order to find some solace amidst the hooplah that we generally associate with a buzzing city, which also happens to be the capital of the state where I happen to reside.

But little did I realize that today is a Tuesday. If you are wondering why I am telling you such a trivial thing like this, this Tuesday is supposedly not an ordinary Tuesday. It is what we call bada mangal in India. On this day, people flock to the temples starting very early in the morning and one can witness large cues of people standing outside the temple to get a glimpse of their most sought for God and to make sure that they offer Him all kinds of valuables in order to please Him to the extent of Him showering His blessings and love on them.

Coming back to my morning exploration agenda, it turned out to be a noisy affair with people chit-chatting on the streets and pandals offering food and drinks to those who got up so early just to indulge in what I would want to refer to as the religious indulgence.

Without going into the religious beliefs that people have, as it is very much an individualistic thing, I sometimes wonder why these very people who end up going to the temples and end up praying in front of their respective Gods, end up doing acts in real life which, am sure, would make their God feel very disgruntled.

It is quite bewildering why these very people don’t realize that it is more important to be practicing good values and inculcating good habits in life rather than going to the temples on such special days and asking for forgiveness. Why in the first place should you end up in a situation where you are required to ask for forgiveness?

Isn’t it an irony that these very same people who come to the temples with all the expensive valuables, the moment they step out of the sacred place, commit acts which can, at times, make the entire humanity feel ashamed of themselves. What’s the use of doing such penance when it doesn’t seem to strike a chord in their minds as to what is right and what is wrong? Isn’t it a mockery of the religion which they practice and which supposedly preaches them the contrary of what they end up doing in their real lives?

I cannot help but think, whether the evolution of this very concept of God occured just because we humans couldn’t handle the guilt associated with the shameful acts that we all commit. And so we created temples and in turn placed a figure in the form of a statue and started referring to Him as God, who supposedly is in all ways became the karta dharta of this very World in which we all happen to be living in.

God, who was supposed to give people the strength and vision to do things in a virtuous manner, ended up being a proxy, used by the powerful and the rich and even the common man to get rid of their guilt.

As far as I am concerned, I believe that instead of going to the temples, it is more important to practice good things in life. I am sure your God will be more happy if you end up doing just that rather than going to the temples and creating chaos and incidents like stampedes.

Source for Image: http://saysaga.com/universe-is-not-god-dont-be-pagans/, http://www.indianetzone.com/10/hanuman_temples_india.htm

 

Meri Waali Trip!

My fiance calls me crazy for this. My parents get really worried when I resort to such ways. My friends think that what I am doing can turn out to be a total disaster in case the God decides to undo the blessings and luck that He supposedly is showering upon me. In short, they all think that this is very uncalled for and I should stop doing this on an immediate basis.

Well, I am talking about the fascination that I have with traveling around the country in my car, be it alone or with a couple of friends. This time around, it happened to be a very dear friend who decided to give me company.

Like all the other trips that I have undertaken so far, this one too didn’t have a plan. When I left my place to pick up this friend of mine from his, Kanpur was the city that seemed to have caught my attention, courtesy the wonderful campus of the college in which I happened to have spent the precious few years of my life.

By the time I reached his house, the plans had taken a 180 degree turn and the pleasure associated with spending some time in the vicinity of lush green woods seemed to have taken me in its grip. So, we decided that we should go to Dudhwa National Park in the Lakhimpur Kheri district, which is also known as the sugar bowl of UP, and is around 240 kms from Lucknow, the city where I happen to be living at the moment.

And there we were driving on the Sitapur road, which by the way has developed into an excelllent highway and when I say excellent it means, one can average around 80-100 km/h on the same for a stretch of around 80 kms or so.

As we were about to reach a destination where we supposed to take a right turn for the national park, an idea of going to the hills struck me. I looked at my friend and gave him a smile. The excitement could very much be seen in my eyes. Having known me for the past couple of years, he knew what I was upto. Fearing the odacity of the plan that I could have had in my mind, he said, “Don’t even think about it. We are going to Dudhwa.”

Though I wanted to bring my idea into reality, yet I had no issues when it came to spending some time in the woods. After reaching the national park, we opted for a Safari, which in many ways turned out to be a pleasant experience with us driving amidst the woods in a Gypsee with trees towering upon us from both the sides. We were lucky enough to see a couple of wild animals, considering that we had reached the place in the evening.

After an hour and a half long Safari, we decided to munch upon some delicacies in a canteen which is located within the premises of the park. I could see the hills right in front of my eyes, while I sat there sipping on a cup of tea.

I looked at my friend again, who by the time had understood that I had made up my mind on something which is not going to go away so easily from my mind. “Ok! Where do you want to go now?”, he asked.

“I was wondering whether we should go to Nainitaal. It is not very far. I guess it is around 350 kms or so. Right now, it is 7:30 p.m. I am sure we will reach there by 12:30 a.m. We will take the Pilibhit route which is quite decent when it comes to the condition of the roads. And we will bid good morning to each other in the beautiful Naini lake. What say? “ I finally revealed the deliberation which had been going on in my mind for the past couple of hours.

“Do I have an option?”, He smiled back.

And there we were, once again all set to hit the road with the back packs that we were carrying along. It took us around 6 hours to reach a place called Katgodaam (from where Nainitaal is just 35 kms away) much more than what he had expected, courtesy a very bad patch of road that we encountered in the path that we had decided to tread.

By then, we were completely exhausted. Good sense prevailed and we decided to find a place where we could sleep for at least couple of hours. As if, God had finally decided to ditch us. We were unable to find a room in the hotels, as all were full, as it was the weekend and not many people in the World travel in the same unplanned manner as we do.

Having no other option, we decided to sleep in the car itself. It was only after 2 hours that we realized that we were sleeping in our car which was parked on the road itself. It was already 4 a.m. We knew that if we wanted to see the first rays of the sun in Nainitaal, we better leave then.

The beautiful valley along with the curves associated with the path that leads to any of the hill stations seemed to have rejuvenated both of us and made our ascent to the top one of the most pleasurable and serene of experiences that I have ever had.

It took us another hour and a half to reach the hill station and there we were sipping again on a cup of tea along with a plate of band makkhan at the Naini lake looking at the sun showering all its energy and blessings on us.

After having our breakfast at the lake, we drove towards a hill top totally engulfed by the clouds which seemed to have traveled from the heavens just to meet the stretch of mountains.

It was getting colder and we had of course not carried along any woolens, for in the first place we had no plans of going to a hill station. Good sense prevailed once again and more than having a good time, an idea of consuming some alcohol came up which was nothing but a means of survival at that point of time.

We sat in a dhaba munching upon some snacks prepared by the gentleman who happened to own the place, along with our drinks, which truly acted as our saviour. After having had the couple of drinks and after feeling all charged up and warm having consumed the same, we decided to take a stroll down the mountains and do some casual trekking.

There were, by the way two reasons, why we wanted to do so. First, we wanted to experience the beauty on foot and second, we definitely wished to get back to our natural senses as we hadn’t realized that we had drank enough for both of us to have that feel good factor associated with the heavenly drink.

We took what can be called a self semi-Naini tour, borrowing the terminology used by most tourist operators in the area, the only difference was that we didn’t have a guide to give us company as it would have killed the self-exploration tendency that we all have.

It took us another 3 hours to regain our senses. By then it was already 3 in the afternoon and it was time to head back as we wanted to reach home before it got too late at night. We halted at a couple of dhabas en route. It was only around 10p.m. that we were able to enter our city.

Having dropped my friend to his place, as I drove back home, my mind seemed to have gone blank. With a couple of hours of sleep to my credit, my mind and body seemed to have stopped listening to me.

I straight away threw myself on my bed on enterting my house. There was this big smile on my face as one would normally see on the face of a satisfied and content person. As I closed my eyes, I wondered, when it would be next when I will get to experience what I had just done.

Source for Image: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fundy_National_Park_of_Canada_9.jpg, http://brainz.org/16-most-incredible-north-american-national-parks/, http://blog.hippocampus.in/2010/09/29/upcoming-field-trips-in-october-hippocampus-koramangala/

Society vis-a-vis Children!

The other day, I received a call from a very dear friend who gave me the most exciting and in all senses the breaking news of his life, “Dude, I got married.“

“Wow! Congrats yaar!” came back the reply from my end.

“Yup, Thanks. But there is a problem. We have not informed her parents.” After a long long time, I was getting to hear this. On one hand where it sounded like a script from a Bollywood movie, on the other hand there was an apprehension as to what’s going to happen in the near future? How the girl’s parents would react to the feat that their child had accomplished? Would they give their approval or would they boycott their daughter from their family?

The problem was compounded, thanks to the nature of the marriage that had ensued. The guy belongs to a North Indian family, which is not so rigid when it comes to marrying a girl from a different caste or culture. On the other hand, the girl belongs to a family which is a hard core South Indian Pundit family, who cannot but imagine marrying their daughter in another caste, leave alone marrying her to a North Indian.

The thought of how the girl’s parents would react is making the couple very nervous. Though they had the courage to take this very significant step in their lives, this thought is driving them nuts. The girl fears the worst and is expecting her to be thrown out of her family. The guy, on his part, though he feels happy, is concerned about his girl who is all set to go through what can surely be called an emotional turmoil in more ways than one.

Though we proudly cite living in the 21st century India, there are certain elements in our country and our culture (which is too varied to be classified as one), which makes me wonder whether we have been successful in evolving from that conservative mentality, which personally for me, represent the core when it comes to differentiating between modern and not so modern.

Somehow, in all this hooplah attached to the caste and culture, the 21st century kids and youngsters are caught confused, not knowing which way to tread. On one hand where they witness the intermixing of various dfferent cultures, thanks to the increased movement of people and increased globalization; on the other hand, they are expected to stick to their hard core values being imposed on them by their very own parents and grandparents who want them to keep their family and clan flag flying high.

For a girl, who wishes to see everyone happy around her, it becomes what can be termed as mission impossible. Atleast in this case, if she choses to go along with the love of her life, which she has, she is bound to lose upon the love and affection she received throughout her life from her parents (acting too rigid to understand what their child wants, just because of societal and family pressure) and if she would have decided to leave her boyfriend (at one time and now her husband), she would have to repent throughout her life for having done so (which thankfully has not been the case here).

At the end of it all, if we take a very pragmatic point of view, it is the couple who will be spending their lives together for most part of their life, if we ignore the few interactions that they are bound to be having with their family during those events and celebrations where each and every member of the extended family happens to gather at one place at the same point of time.

But on an emotional level, the couple would certainly want, at least the immediate family to be blessing the couple and welcoming them with open arms. After all, this is what will make them really happy.

For the parents who tend to involve their egos and self-respect with their child’s wishes, it is my earnest request to think beyond what the society tells them to think. For them, the point that they need to consider is whether they would want to place their children above in the priority list, over and above the society and the extended family members.

Source for Image: http://www.tcd.ie/research/themes/inclusive-society/, http://www.churstongrammar.com/parents/

The Palmist!

What happens if someone holds your hand in her hand and tells you about various facets of your life looking at the different kind of lines that seem to adorn your hand with what can be called your destiny. Would you want to believe in whatever the palmist has to offer using all her knowledge and want to abide by her advice or would you just take it in your stride believing that whatever has to happen will happen irrespective of all the advices and opinions given by none other than the all so famous palmist?

Yesterday, I happened to be in the company of a palmist who has supposedly being predicting quite accurately for a number of people who have gone to her for help over a period of time which can surely vouch for her credibility when it comes to looking at her in the form of a professional palmist.

Though, I am not much a believer of such things, I met this beautiful girl, thanks to a common friend. Amongst all the chit-chat and the conversation that ensued, there were talks of the palmist seeing my hand. I guess more than myself, the company that I had at that point of time seemed to be more interested in what the palmist had to say about me.

The group dynamics took control of my individuality and I complied with what the group wanted from me which was to offer my hand to the palmist who was supposed to enlighten me about the various aspects of my life and my future. Without going into the details of what was told to me, it was quite interesting to witness the aplomb with which the palmist seem to tell me things about myself which I too didn’t seem to know, as if she knew more about the person.

She carried on and on with her predictions about things ranging from my professional life to love life. After she had finished looking at my hand and after having told me things she seemed to have noticed through the lines on my palm, she asked me whether I wanted to know something specifically from her.

To her surprise, I didn’t seem to have any questions. But guess what, the company that I had indeed were waiting for this wonderful opportunity. At least they were kind enough to take my persmission before bombarding the palmist with all the questions they had about me, to which the palmist was quite happy to respond.

After having got all the answers from the palmist, the company looked satisfied at the same time perplexed and curious whether what had been told would indeed turn out to be true.

Well, no one could have told at that point of time whether all the things would indeed happen. Only time would tell whether what was told about me would fall in place as had been predicted.

Soon after, I took their leave. As I was driving back home alone, the words of the palmist seemed to resonate in my head, “no matter how hard you try and no matter how much you desire, the luck will have its own way of looking at things and would do you good but may be not in the same way as you might want it to.“

Little did I understand about the implications of what she said, yet I wonder whether it is the luck that drives us or it is the other way around, as I have always believed and would continue doing so.

Source for Image: http://www.astropalmistry.com.pk/History%20%28Palmistry%29.htm, http://janaalcorn.wordpress.com/2010/12/31/custom-design-your-destiny/

Language Love!

Learning a language in your teens and beyond can indeed be a tricky affair. But if you happen to be in a company of someone very special who is all eager to teach you that very particular language then you surely would want to have the time of your life, and more often than not, you indeed end up having the same.

It is a very common practice in universities in Europe where two persons wanting to learn each other’s language come together and try to teach each other the nuances of the specialities that they happen to be in proud possession off.

It all starts with the basics with each one trying to converse in the other’s native language. For instance, say, a guy from India wanting to learn French would team up with say a guy/girl from France who wants to learn either English or Hindi. (by the way, more often than not, a guy from India ends up with a girl from France or atleast would want to, especially if he is under the influence of the likes of SRK from DDLJ).

Normally, a guy from India, having seen the plethora of Indian movies on European lifestyle, believe and expect the European girls to be modern and fast when it comes to making or breaking relationships. Well, to some extent, it might sound true, but this cannot be generalized for each and every European girl.

More than wanting to learn the language, an Indian guy ends up indulging or wanting to indulge in certain other facets of life. True to his nature, an Indian guy leaves no stone unturned to woo the other party to the contract, which indeed could be called the real source of genesis of a prospective relationship.

Contrary to an Indian guy’s expectation, the French girl might just want to indulge in the grammar and the related stuff, unless the guy is either super intelligent in terms of being a truly charming personality or has those killer looks which could make girls go weak in their knees.

Even if the Indian guy comes to know of the same, he lingers on with his efforts on wooing the girl, making sure that the girl gets to learn each and every possible word known to the guy. Instead of learning French himself, he tries to master Hindi or English (depending on the initial contract) in order to impress the girl. By the time this whole contract comes to an end, the girl ends up mastering the guy’s language and the guy ends up being happy that the girl has been able to master his language and has surely become a strong candidate for his bride, whom he can now introduce to his family.

He thinks, “How pleasantly surprised my family would be on seeing their foreign bahu speak such good Hindi!” Little does he realize that it could all end up being just a fantasy, but does he care? Surely not, for who doesn’t want to be living in a World full of fantasies.

It is not that the girl hasn’t developed a liking for the guy but as you would often hear girls saying, “I like you but not in the same way as you might be thinking that I do.” Still an Indian guy never loses hope and is happy that at least she treats him as her friend.

Time flies by and the day of convocation arrives. The guy decides to at least bid goodbye to the girl. He walks up to the girl, “It’s been two years now since we started to know each other. It is no hidden truth as to how much I like you. You know it as well but seemed to have always denied knowing the explicit. Today is the last day in college and I guess it’s time to go our own ways. I would like to wish you all the very best in whatever you do.”

And that was it. As he walked out from the convocation hall, he thinks, “ki farak painda yaar, tu nahi to koi aur sahi .” That is how an Indian guy ends up deciding to move on with his wooing spree realizing that it is time to learn another European language.

(This story that I have cited above is inspired from one of my very dear friend’s life, who is still searching for that numero uno language . Wishing him all the very best in this endeavour).

Source for Image: http://elizabethkuhnke.wordpress.com/2011/06/09/watch-your-language/, http://mmidori31.deviantart.com/art/Cute-Couple-Animation-305272969