Clare De Graaf's Blog, page 18
August 28, 2017
Nobody Takes Every Word of the Bible Literally
A fellow elder, a man I respected deeply, once said at an elder meeting, “I take every word of the Bible literally.” After the meeting, I approached him and made this observation, “John, I don’t think anyone takes every word of the Bible literally.”
John was taken back by my statement and probably wondered if I had gone “liberal” on him. But here’s what I said to clarify my statement.
John was taken back by my statement and probably wondered if I had gone “liberal” on him. But here’s what I said to clarify my statement.
August 21, 2017
When Your Spiritual Life Goes Flat
I’ve been asked often if I ever have times when my spiritual life feels flat and I don’t feel God’s presence.
Of course I do. I’ve never met a serious Christian who didn’t!
I’ve described periods in my relationship with Jesus, like and old married couple we’ve all seen, sitting across from each other at a restaurant, saying nothing to each other for minutes at a time. It’s painful to watch.
When I see that, I ask myself, “What happened to their relationship? Did those silences start with 10-20 seconds of not communicating and then slowly grew from there into these long silences?” The scary part is that they’ve been doing this for so long they’re probably not even embarrassed about it. It’s their new normal.
In the same way, the most frightening thing for me about being spiritually flat is that I might get used to it. So, what do I do to bring me back to my first love?
Of course I do. I’ve never met a serious Christian who didn’t!
I’ve described periods in my relationship with Jesus, like and old married couple we’ve all seen, sitting across from each other at a restaurant, saying nothing to each other for minutes at a time. It’s painful to watch.
When I see that, I ask myself, “What happened to their relationship? Did those silences start with 10-20 seconds of not communicating and then slowly grew from there into these long silences?” The scary part is that they’ve been doing this for so long they’re probably not even embarrassed about it. It’s their new normal.
In the same way, the most frightening thing for me about being spiritually flat is that I might get used to it. So, what do I do to bring me back to my first love?
August 14, 2017
Evangelism and the Spiritual Journey Toward God – Part Two
How does a Calvinist evangelize?
That was the question asked of me in a Q and A session after I spoke at a church a few years ago. My answer was one I’ve given many times before. “Evangelism for a Calvinist is like being a good real estate agent – our only obligation is to list and show. We don’t have to close!”
By that I mean, my only obligation and privilege is to live the gospel and explain the gospel. I don’t have to “get them saved”. That’s the Holy Spirit’s responsibility. Believing that, takes all the pressure off. To illustrate, I went on to tell this story.
That was the question asked of me in a Q and A session after I spoke at a church a few years ago. My answer was one I’ve given many times before. “Evangelism for a Calvinist is like being a good real estate agent – our only obligation is to list and show. We don’t have to close!”
By that I mean, my only obligation and privilege is to live the gospel and explain the gospel. I don’t have to “get them saved”. That’s the Holy Spirit’s responsibility. Believing that, takes all the pressure off. To illustrate, I went on to tell this story.
August 7, 2017
Evangelism and the Spiritual Journey Toward God – Part One
Here are two very important questions to consider when we think of the faith journey; “What triggers a decision to be born again, a decision of the non-yet-Christian, or is it God’s decision?”
The second question is even more controversial, “Is belief in Jesus enough to be born again?”
The Spiritual Journey
It’s been my observation that the spiritual journey generally has these elements or stages, although they may not necessarily happen in this order.
The second question is even more controversial, “Is belief in Jesus enough to be born again?”
The Spiritual Journey
It’s been my observation that the spiritual journey generally has these elements or stages, although they may not necessarily happen in this order.
July 31, 2017
Four Do’s and Don’ts When Introducing Jesus to Non-Christians
In last week’s blog, you read comments from a number of non-Christians about what they think of Christians who try to evangelize them. Whether you agree with all their comments, that is what they believe. Here are some common ideas they expressed and some ideas I’ve learned to deal with their reality;
1. Don’t try to force your morality on me.
Ironically, Paul says the same thing; “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside.” 1 Corinthians 5:12,13a
Many of the non-Christians I know are kind, generous, and have a moral system that make sense to them. We have a moral system based on our confidence in the Bible and love for God, neither-of-which non-Christians have. Why would a non-Christian give up sex before marriage, for instance, just because we tell them it’s a sin?
“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 2:14
When meeting with non-Christians, I never talk about their sinful behaviors. But I do talk about the sin nature in every person. Every non-Christian knows they do things that violate even their own moral code. I explain why that is, and what Christ did to address this problem in all of us. I’m not into behavior modification or sin management. Without Christ, their sinful habits are the least of their concern.
1. Don’t try to force your morality on me.
Ironically, Paul says the same thing; “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside.” 1 Corinthians 5:12,13a
Many of the non-Christians I know are kind, generous, and have a moral system that make sense to them. We have a moral system based on our confidence in the Bible and love for God, neither-of-which non-Christians have. Why would a non-Christian give up sex before marriage, for instance, just because we tell them it’s a sin?
“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 2:14
When meeting with non-Christians, I never talk about their sinful behaviors. But I do talk about the sin nature in every person. Every non-Christian knows they do things that violate even their own moral code. I explain why that is, and what Christ did to address this problem in all of us. I’m not into behavior modification or sin management. Without Christ, their sinful habits are the least of their concern.
July 24, 2017
What Non-Christians Want Christians to Understand
I ran across this sobering blog by John Shore, thoughtful Christians who are serious about reaching their non-Christian friends ought to read. Next week, I’ll share some ideas I’ve used to introduce people to Jesus, without offending them.
As a way of researching my book I’m OK – You’re Not: The Message We’re Sending Nonbelievers and Why We Should Stop, I posted a notice on Craigslist sites all over the country asking non-Christians to send me any short, personal statement they would like Christians to read.
“Specifically,” I wrote, “I’d like to hear how you feel about being on the receiving end of the efforts of Christian evangelicals to convert you. I want to be very clear that this is not a Christian-bashing book; it’s coming from a place that only means well for everyone. Thanks.”
Within three days I had in my inbox over 300 emails from non-Christians across the country. Reading them was one of the more depressing experiences of my life. I had expected their cumulative sentiment to be one of mostly anger. But if you boiled down to a single feeling what was most often expressed in the nonbelievers’ statements, it would be Why do Christians hate us so much?
Below is a pretty random sample of the statements non-Christians sent me (each of which I used in the book). If you’re a Christian, they make for a mighty saddening read. Or they certainly should, anyway.
As a way of researching my book I’m OK – You’re Not: The Message We’re Sending Nonbelievers and Why We Should Stop, I posted a notice on Craigslist sites all over the country asking non-Christians to send me any short, personal statement they would like Christians to read.
“Specifically,” I wrote, “I’d like to hear how you feel about being on the receiving end of the efforts of Christian evangelicals to convert you. I want to be very clear that this is not a Christian-bashing book; it’s coming from a place that only means well for everyone. Thanks.”
Within three days I had in my inbox over 300 emails from non-Christians across the country. Reading them was one of the more depressing experiences of my life. I had expected their cumulative sentiment to be one of mostly anger. But if you boiled down to a single feeling what was most often expressed in the nonbelievers’ statements, it would be Why do Christians hate us so much?
Below is a pretty random sample of the statements non-Christians sent me (each of which I used in the book). If you’re a Christian, they make for a mighty saddening read. Or they certainly should, anyway.
July 17, 2017
Playing “King of the Mountain” with God
No true Christian would ever consciously dare try to unseat God or to replace him as king of their life. However, as a practical matter, many of us may be slowly and subtly doing just that if;
You post on social media more than a couple times a day (except for your job).
You find yourself checking often for “Likes” or comments from others.
You are constantly looking for pictures to post to get “Likes.”
You check your phone during worship.
You check your phone before you pray or read scripture in the morning.
If you own and use a “selfie stick” regularly.
“You shall have no other Gods before me.” Deuteronomy 5:7
You post on social media more than a couple times a day (except for your job).
You find yourself checking often for “Likes” or comments from others.
You are constantly looking for pictures to post to get “Likes.”
You check your phone during worship.
You check your phone before you pray or read scripture in the morning.
If you own and use a “selfie stick” regularly.
“You shall have no other Gods before me.” Deuteronomy 5:7
July 10, 2017
The Confession of a Grace Abuser
Our daughter, Megan, has a blog entitled: This is me Being Real. Well, this is me being real. Here’s what goes on in my head and heart whenever I’m tempted to sin; I’m not talking about the automatic, unkind word that springs from my lips, or a lustful thought that came out of nowhere but lingers too long, […]
July 3, 2017
The “Other” 10 Second Rule
The following is a blog by Rob Parsons, a British pastor/teacher. I found his ideas both biblical and practical.
Over the years, I’ve talked with many men and women who have been involved in affairs. One of the most salutary things is to realize that with many of them, they didn’t intend to be unfaithful to their partners. They sometimes blurt out, “It just happened.” They will normally go on to talk about some innocent event in which they were involved (often a genuine desire to help the other person in some way), and then go on to say, “It suddenly got out of hand.”
When is the battle won or lost in the affair? Is it decided at the bedroom door? No. The battle is so often decided when somebody smiles at you across a room and you have ten seconds to decide whether you will walk those twenty feet or keep talking to the boring colleague next to you. There is, in so many affairs, a line that has to be crossed. The tragedy is that so often it is drawn very near the beginning of the relationship, but once it is crossed it is hard to go back.
I remember speaking with a man who was in the middle of an affair. He’d lost just about everything. He said: “Rob, she offered me a lift. The second I got in that car, it was as if it was all decided.”
Over the years, I’ve talked with many men and women who have been involved in affairs. One of the most salutary things is to realize that with many of them, they didn’t intend to be unfaithful to their partners. They sometimes blurt out, “It just happened.” They will normally go on to talk about some innocent event in which they were involved (often a genuine desire to help the other person in some way), and then go on to say, “It suddenly got out of hand.”
When is the battle won or lost in the affair? Is it decided at the bedroom door? No. The battle is so often decided when somebody smiles at you across a room and you have ten seconds to decide whether you will walk those twenty feet or keep talking to the boring colleague next to you. There is, in so many affairs, a line that has to be crossed. The tragedy is that so often it is drawn very near the beginning of the relationship, but once it is crossed it is hard to go back.
I remember speaking with a man who was in the middle of an affair. He’d lost just about everything. He said: “Rob, she offered me a lift. The second I got in that car, it was as if it was all decided.”
June 26, 2017
Most Christians are Violating the 1st Commandment
“You shall have no other God’s before me.” Exodus 20:3
When I begin mentoring a man seriously, I’ll often ask them this, “Make a list of your gods.” They never include the one I’m addressing in this blog.
God said in the very first commandment, “You shall have no other gods before me.” If I didn’t have a block of time regularly (preferably daily) to devote solely to the worship and study of God, I think it’s quite reasonable that God would conclude that everything else in my life was more important than him!
And just for the record, I don’t think much of the One Minute Bible, having your only reading be Oswald Chambers or some other brief devotional, praying while on a treadmill, or listening to a sermon on the radio. Those are all great things to do, but in my opinion are not substitutes for worship, real Bible study or serious personal prayer.
If we were meeting with our most important client, or our boss, we’d never talk to him from a treadmill, or spend one minute getting to know him. It’s not that it can’t be done. I do pray occasionally as I walk or drive. I just can’t imagine God being truly honored by slipping him in when it’s convenient. If I were God, I’d want to know that for at least 15-20 minutes a day, I have your undivided attention and loyalty. If not, I’d conclude that almost everything else in my day was another god! “You shall have no other gods…”
There may be godly men or women who don’t have a serious, regular time alone with God. I’ve just never met one.
So, here are a few simple ideas to begin:
When I begin mentoring a man seriously, I’ll often ask them this, “Make a list of your gods.” They never include the one I’m addressing in this blog.
God said in the very first commandment, “You shall have no other gods before me.” If I didn’t have a block of time regularly (preferably daily) to devote solely to the worship and study of God, I think it’s quite reasonable that God would conclude that everything else in my life was more important than him!
And just for the record, I don’t think much of the One Minute Bible, having your only reading be Oswald Chambers or some other brief devotional, praying while on a treadmill, or listening to a sermon on the radio. Those are all great things to do, but in my opinion are not substitutes for worship, real Bible study or serious personal prayer.
If we were meeting with our most important client, or our boss, we’d never talk to him from a treadmill, or spend one minute getting to know him. It’s not that it can’t be done. I do pray occasionally as I walk or drive. I just can’t imagine God being truly honored by slipping him in when it’s convenient. If I were God, I’d want to know that for at least 15-20 minutes a day, I have your undivided attention and loyalty. If not, I’d conclude that almost everything else in my day was another god! “You shall have no other gods…”
There may be godly men or women who don’t have a serious, regular time alone with God. I’ve just never met one.
So, here are a few simple ideas to begin:
