Kimanzi Constable's Blog, page 39

5 Reasons to Sell Everything and Move to Hawaii

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I know what you’re thinking, “Hawaii is too expensive,” or if you’re local, “We don’t need anyone else moving to Hawaii, it’s a finite resource.” I understand there are sensitive cultural issues at play, and I understand most people can’t afford to live here.

What everyone should understand is that if living in Hawaii or some other destination is your dream, you should do whatever you can to make that dream your reality.

In April of 2010 we vacationed in Maui and feel in love. We got back to Wisconsin and started talking about retiring here. That talk lasted a few months and then “normal” life took over.

It wasn’t until the death of my father in April of 2012 that reality hit us, and I determined to honor him by not living a life of regret. It took a few more years, but in April of 2014 we moved to Maui.

Living in our dream destination has opened my eyes to so many experiences, and changed the way I see life. It’s shown me these five reasons why everyone should move to their dream destination (Hawaii or elsewhere).

1. Life is short

This message has never been stronger to me than it has today. Yesterday, my grandfather died. I knew it was coming, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m just grateful he got to read the open letter I wrote to him.

We know life is short. We realize all of us only get one life to live, yet we live everyday like we’re immortal. We put off our dreams for another day, but too often that day never comes.

When we deal with death, we get a vivid lesson, but it doesn’t have to take a death for us to be shaken out of our comfort zone. We have to power to live the life we truly want to live, in the place we want to live it. All it takes is doing something about it. Your dream will take time, but if you start today you’re one day closer to an amazing life.

2. Simplicity is freeing

When we moved to Maui, we sold everything and came here with 15 checked bags. It was freeing to start our new life without all the clutter and stuff we never really use. As we’ve added items to our home, we’ve asked if we really need them before we bring them in.

Living a simple, clutter-free life reduces your stress. You don’t have to worry about buying all the new “must get” items. You learn to use what you have and embrace life over stuff.

3. Local is a way of life

One of the things we loved about Maui (and Oahu) when we vacationed, was the strong emphasis on fresh, local food. It’s a place where you can escape all the processed junk that affects people’s health. You can find fresh fish, local produce at farmer’s markets, and yummy veggies in your own backyard!

“Local” goes beyond the food though. In Hawaii, there is a way of life that we call the, “Aloha Spirit.” This means relaxing more, looking out for other people, embracing life and the land. It means becoming one with Hawaii.

Whether it’s Hawaii, or some other dream destination, embrace the local way of life. If you try to bring the place you just moved from with you, life will rough. You moved for a reason, so enjoy your new life. Choose local over commercial.

4. Experience is more important than stuff

At the end of our lives we’re not going to remember all the stuff we had, we’ll remember and cherish our experiences. You can live a comfortable life with all the fancy toys, and stay well within your comfort zone or you can say, “screw it” and create a life most people dream of.

Choose experience over stuff. Choose your dreams over your comfort zone. If you have a chance to take the road less traveled, take it. That’s where the magic happens.

5. Existing only leads to regret

Staying in a toxic relationship, settling for a job you hate, not living a healthy lifestyle, and living in your comfort zone are a few signs you’re existing in life. We only get one life to live, and living life this way leads to bitterness, sorrow, and regret.

Moving to your dream destination will be hard, but the lessons you’ll learn will be invaluable. We don’t respect things that are just handed to us, when we earn them, we cherish them.

We are entering a new year. This could be the best year of your life or the same as every other year. I hope you choose the road less traveled and choose to move to your dream destination. I hope you choose to live an amazing life.

What’s your dream destination? What are you doing about it?

This article originally appeared on the Huffington Post

5 Better Ways to Spend Your Time

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This year can be one of the greatest of your life or the same as every other year. The thing that determines what kind of year you’ll have is how you spend your time. Time is the one resource we’ll never get back. Each of us only gets one life to live. Each moment is precious and should be used on the things that will better your life, and help you reach the goals you’ve set for yourself this year.

For 12 years I didn’t think about how I spent my time because I was just trying to survive. I was living paycheck-to-paycheck; I was 170 pounds overweight, and living in a place that had us fearing for our life.

I wasted a lot of time that I’ll never get back. I don’t dwell on it because holding onto the past can keep you stuck. When I got serious about making changes, I used every second of my time focused. Here are five better ways to spend your time and ensure an incredible year.

1. Living fully present  

In the chaos of life it’s easy to get caught up in all the things we have to do. We’re busy people these days and there’s a wealth of distractions. Even when we’re with our loved ones, we have to check our phones. We can’t miss what’s new on Facebook. Right?

Living fully present means you focus. You put the phone away and listen to what your kids are saying. You ignore email so that you not only listen; you understand what your spouse is telling you. Living life this way ensures you’re not wasting time and you’re spending it living each moment.

2. Working on your dream

Life is short and at the end of it, you’ll look back and remember. That will either be depressing or bring a smile to your face depending on what you do now. Spending 40 plus hours in a job or business you don’t love will suck the life out of you.

Choose to spend your time working on making your dream your reality. Spending your time trying to rationalize complacency will only lead to a life of regrets. Your dreams can bring you true freedom with your time, and in your life.

3. Improving your health

Your health affects every other area of your life. To accomplish everything you want in life, you’re going to need energy. Investing your time in exercise and eating foods that give your body nourishment, will pay dividends.

4. Dating your spouse

I don’t care how long you’ve been married; you must always date your spouse. Just because the ring goes on both of your fingers, and you sign that official document, doesn’t mean the romance dies. I would argue that you have to work even harder.

Take time to get out, and away from the kids, and rekindle that love as you glaze into each other’s eyes. The secret to a strong marriage is constantly working on growing together. Love is a decision and dating each other helps reaffirm that.

5. Avoiding situations that end up being distractions

It’s easy to get distracted by all that’s available to us these days. You log onto your laptop to check email, and before you know it, an hour is gone reading the latest gossip. There are things that seem like they will help you, but in the end waste your time and hold you back.

It can be a fade diet, it can be a job or business that you think is right for you, or it can be a destination that seems like it’s perfect for you. You could spend your precious time and energy chasing rabbits down holes that don’t end. Once you come back up for air, you’ll realize you were on the wrong path all along. This year focus has to be the priority.

If you want to see progress, I mean more progress than you’ve ever seen before; you have to use your time wisely. Get laser focused on the things that are important to the life you want to lead.

If you’re reading this, you’re alive. That’s reason enough to smile and realize it’s possible. Eliminate “can’t” from your vocabulary and start doing something about those big goals and dreams. You only get one life to live. Make it count.

What are some things you plan to focus your time on this year?

This week’s articles

The 6 Things You Must Have to Successfully Transition Out of Your Day Job

Entrepreneur Magazine

5 Ways Your Work Could Be Affecting Your Life

The Huffington Post

5 Things No One Tells You About Being a Parent

The Good Men Project

Photo: Flickr/ Fabíola Medeiros

7 Healthy Habits That Helped Me Lose 170 Pounds in One Year

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In 2007, my brother was getting married and asked me to be his best man. I was honored and excited, until the tuxedo fitting for all the groomsmen. Everyone else fit into their tuxedos just fine except for me.

The kind people at the store did the best they could, but there wasn’t a size that would fit me. I was too big. Weeks later they called and had one specially delivered. The wedding went off without a hitch.

The problem came on Facebook after the wedding. People posted pictures, and I was appalled to see how big I looked. I cried myself to sleep that night.

I woke up the next day determined to lose the weight. When I got on the scale the number I saw was 332 pounds! I was determined to lose the weight, but I didn’t understand what it meant to change my lifestyle.

I went on a crazy diet, where I was only allowed to eat 1,200 calories a day, and exercised for four hours a day. I lost 132 pounds in six months. Mission accomplished. Right?

Since I didn’t learn healthy habits, I gained all that weight back plus 38 pounds that next year. Flash forward to June 15 of 2013. Again I was a best man, this time at my best friend’s wedding.

It was the exact same routine. The pictures were posted on Facebook and I was even more appalled. When I got on the scale I was 370 pounds. I worked so hard the first time — how could this happen again? On June 17 of 2013 I didn’t start my weight loss journey, I started the journey to create healthy habits that ultimately changed my life.

In that journey I quit a job I hated and moved to Maui, Hawaii. I talked about that on The Huffington Post. I lost those 170 pounds in one year. At the time of this writing, I now weigh 200 pounds.

Learning these seven healthy habits helped me lose the weight and change my life. If you are struggling with weight loss or making big changes, they can work for you too.

1. Patience

Losing weight takes time, especially if it’s a lot of weight. I started my weight loss journey for the second time on June 17 of 2013. All I could think about, at first, was that big number, 370 pounds. It’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror every day and not see major changes.

The old adage finally sunk in: This isn’t a race. It’s a marathon. Instead of focusing on that big number, I focused on taking this journey one day at a time. Every day I would wake up and just focus on what actions I needed to take that day. If I had a bad day, I would go to bed, sleep it off, and wake up determined to make that day better than the day before.

By learning patience, I stopped trying to get a quick win, I learned what real change means. If you’re going to be successful in your weight loss journey, you have to realize it’s going to take time. Patience will teach you what change really means, not just how to lose weight.

2. Sacrifice

To lose the weight it meant sacrificing the things I wanted. I gave up soda; I gave up fast food and junk food. I gave up my TV time to exercise. Instead of trying some fad diet, I exercised portion control with my meals.

Making any big change in your life is going to require sacrifice. Instead of focusing on what you have to give up, focus on the why behind what you’re doing. When it comes to weight loss, your why is a long healthy life, it’s being there for your family. Your why will give you to strength to stick with it, even through the rough times.

3. Realistic planning

Success with weight loss means having a realistic plan. I set the goal of losing 170 pounds in one year’s time frame. Breaking that down meant that I had to lose 15 pounds a month. That number was a realistic number in my plan versus that huge number of 170.

Don’t set unrealistic plans for yourself by trying to lose too much weight to fast. Don’t set unrealistic plans for any change in your life. Take time, and put a proper plan in place before you make a big change. Stick with that plan, and you will see success.

4. Life change

You can’t look at weight loss as dieting and exercise. To have success, and continued success, you have to look at this as a lifestyle change. I didn’t learn that habit the first go around, and the weight came back as a result.

By making this a life change, you won’t just do what’s necessary. You’ll incorporate healthy habits into everything you do, which will give you that continued success. You won’t make those same bad decisions because that won’t be what you want for your new life.

5. Consistent exercise

My mother is Kenyan, and I lived in Kenya for two years. When I started exercising I chose running. I couldn’t even run for a mile that first time, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I was determined to be consistent with exercising; my plan had me exercising five days a week.

Running is hard on the body and may not be your thing, but you should incorporate consistent exercise as a habit in your life. Consistent exercise gives you more energy and teaches you discipline that you can use in every other area of your life.

6. Accountability

One of the best things you can do for weight loss, or any change in your life, is to keep yourself accountable to someone else. It can be friends or family, but have someone be there to help keep you on track.

When we try to do it alone it’s too easy to make excuses and justify inaction. That accountable will eliminate that. Just make sure you seek out positive, supportive people. A negative person will feed into all the things that would normally hold you back.

7. Perseverance

Whether it’s losing weight, leaving a job you hate or any big change in your life, you’re going to need perseverance to get through the 1,000 times when you want to quit. The one habit successful people practice is persevering no matter what.

There will be times when you experience failure. Accept that failure for what it really is: a small bump in your journey. It doesn’t mean the journey’s over, you can totally over come anything that gets in your way. Determine right now that no matter what, you’re not going to give up.

I lost 170 pounds, and I’m not worried about gaining it back. This time around I learned what it means to have a healthy lifestyle. I’ve learned that it’s not about dieting and exercise; it’s all about having the right habits that ensure a lifestyle change.

Life is too short to let regret rule your life. We only get one life to live, and time is the one resource we’ll never get back. Start today. Start right after you get done reading this.

Have you struggled with weight loss or making big changes in your life?

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This article originally appeared on the Huffington Post.

5 Reasons Why You Should Quit a Job You Hate

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Every week, men and women all over the world are spending 40 hours plus at a job they absolutely hate. The Washington Post tells us that only 13% of people are at a job they can tolerate.

I don’t have to give you the stats, because chances are you are in a job you can’t stand. I worked a job I hated for 12 years, everyday my hatred for the job grew.

When I started this job at 19-years-old everything was fine. I was young, and had the energy of a bull. OK, that might be an exaggeration, but I could handle the long hours. As I got married, and we had kids, the long hours started to wear on me.

It got even worse when my kids started having activities at school. I started this job at midnight, which meant on those nights I would get three hours of sleep.

Sleeping three hours a night, and working 60 hours a week sucked, but what I didn’t realize was the effect it had on my health, and the rest of my life. It was so bad that after I quit this job, I needed a month to detox.

I know there are many reading this that can relate. Every day you go to a job that makes you miserable, wondering if you’ll ever escape. What you may not be thinking about is how this job is affecting your life.

 1. The stress is affecting your health

Stress is the leading cause of many health problems. This article from WebMD points out at least ten of them. When you spend day in, and day out in a job you hate, you better believe you’ll be stressed out.

Over years that stress adds up, and you could end up with the health problems laid out in this article. Whether you realize it or not, you bring that stress home with you, and it affects everyone around you.

Years of stress could shorten your life and make you a bitter person. The longer you deal with the stress, the more problems it leads too. One of the best things you can do in life is avoid stressful situations as much as possible. That’s one reason why I don’t talk about politics on Facebook!

 2.  It’s fostering bad habits

Besides the stress, working at a job you hate can lead to, and foster other bad habits. One major problem is bad sleeping patterns. The odd hours I worked had me sleeping three hours a night for years.

You may be getting more than three hours, but if you’re at a job you hate, I’m guessing you’re either getting too much or not enough. The stress and hours might be keeping you from getting enough. The stress could also be making you sleep too much because that’s your escape.

Besides sleep, it could be bad eating habits, quickness to anger, zoning out, or a host of other bad habits. When you’re at a job you hate, you turn to an outlet, an escape, and a lot of times it’s not a healthy one.

 3. It’s making you complacent

If you stay at a job you hate for years, you could be training yourself to accept mediocrity. That may sound a little extreme, but think about it a bit. You’re learning how to settle for a “good enough” situation, and that will affect how you think about other situations in your life.

When you start to settle in life, you’re heading down a slippery slope. Time is the only resource we’ll never get back. If you settle, you’re wasting that precious time on something you’ll regret later.

Whenever I think about breaking away from complacency, I think of the amazing Steve Jobs quote:

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

4. It’s affecting other areas of your life

The stress, bad habits, and complacency will not stay at work; you will bring them home with you. For a long time I thought I could separate my work life and home life.

I thought I could be miserable for 10 hours a day, get done with work, and then go home and forget about it. It took years, but I realized that what happens to you for that many hours will affect your home life.You’re bringing all that junk home.

You might not be screaming or kicking chairs over, but when you’re quiet and moody, your family notices. They can pick up on your tension, and it makes them tense. They won’t know how to deal with you.

5. It’s keeping you from the life you truly deserve  

At the end of the day a job you hate is sucking the life out of you. It’s making you miserable, stresses you out, and it’s affecting other areas of you life. It’s keeping you from the amazing life you truly deserve.

There’s an amazing life waiting for you if you’re willing to do something about. I’m not sitting here telling you that this will be easy. Life isn’t a movie where everything magically works out.

What I am telling you is that if you’re willing to do what it takes, you can leave a job you hate. Realize that this takes time; it took me three years to leave that job that I hated.

I know what you’re thinking because I get it all the time, “Good for him.” No, not just good for me, it’s good for many who have decided they wanted more for their life. It can be good for you too.

Think about what you want to do for work. What are you passionate about? Start to research how you can land that job or start that business, if that’s what you want. We have this cool thing called the Internet that can tell you what it will take.

After you research, put a plan in place, and take action. Sounds easy, but expect that there will be bumps on the road. Determine right now that every time you fall, you’ll get back up. In the end, to create this amazing life, perseverance has to be your best friend.

The clock is ticking.

What is one thing you can do this week to get closer to your dream work situation? 

This week’s articles

5 Reasons You Should Consider Becoming an Entrepreneur

Entrepreneur Magazine

9 Mantras For A Lasting Marriage

Mind Body Green

5 Things No One Tells You About Being a Parent

The Huffington Post

5 Difficult Roadblocks Guys Can Overcome

The Good Men Project

This article originally appeared on the Good Men Project.

Photo: Good Men Project

5 Ways You’re Trading Incredible Sex for a Miserable Job

When I originally wrote this, I blushed. I’m blushing now that I reposting this here. However, this year I will be focused on helping you create freedom in your work, health, and relationships so this post is fitting.

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Tell me if this sounds familiar. You work hard for eight hours, even more if you’re getting over-time. During those eight hours you experience a wide range of emotions: happiness, stress, anger, and confusion.

At the end of that shift you’re exhausted, and emotionally drained. On the ride home you do your best to leave all the junk from work behind, but it’s hard.

You do all the activities you normally do when you come home. All is well and then it’s bedtime. Your significant other starts to rub your back and kisses you, signaling it’s “time.”

At that point your mind and body send out conflicting signals. You would love to rip your clothes off, and do the deed, but you’re tired. You’re angry, stressed, and mentally drained.

Gallup just released a poll that says the average person spends 47 hours each week at work. When you spend that much of your week doing something, it affects every other aspect of your life.

In that moment when you could be experiencing magic, all you can think about is sleeping. In order to get through the horror of those eight hours all over again the next day, you need those precious moments on the pillow.

Your work is affecting your sex life one way or another. The effect it has is up to you, and largely the type of job you have. If you are in a job you hate, which is 87% of us, it could destroy your sex life. Here’s five ways how.

1. The stress is killing your sex drive  

After you spend all day busting your butt at a stressful job, you just don’t have all the energy you need to have for sex. You can muster up a second wind, but that last little bit of energy doesn’t give you enough time to embrace the experience.

Dr. Logan-Levkoff points out five ways that stress is affecting your sex life in a great article for the Huffington Post. The second point she makes is that stress takes a toll on your libido.

Basically, hormones affect our bodies in different ways. Cortisol is one of the hormones produced by stress. Elevated levels of Cortisol being produced for long periods of time, like from a stressful job- day in, and day out- suppresses other hormones. Lower levels of these hormones lead to a lower libido.

I realize stress comes from many different places, but I would argue that when you spend 40 hours plus of your week somewhere, it’s probably one of the major causes of your stress.

 2.  The hours are killing the quality

If you are tired from work, it will affect how much energy you have. Less energy means less effort. Your partner is thinking chocolate and champagne, while you’re thinking a solid ten minutes and you’re good.

Dr David Delvin, GP and Christine Webber, psychotherapists, wrote an article for Net Doctor pointing out how the hours affect your sex drive and quality. They also point out that the hours, along with stress, lead to an unfilled sexual experience for both partners.

 3. Neither partner feels sexy

When you’re stressed out, tired, and overwhelmed from work, it’s extremely difficult to feel sexy. Dr. Logan-Levkoff says. The stress alone can lead to a negative body image; a lower self-image leads to less sex.

A stressful work environment leads to bad habits. It could range from quickness to anger, odd sleeping patterns, or bad eating. This leads to weight gain; even a little amount can lead you to not like the way you look with your clothes off.

4. Your mind isn’t clear enough to embrace your passion

Great sex requires a lot of you. One of the major ingredients to great sex is mental, not physical. This article on The Good Men Project points out why. When you have all that junk in your mind from work, you can’t have a clear mind. You can try to free it up during that moment, but it’s not the same thing.

 5.  You can’t completely give into the experience

When you’re dealing with stress, body image issues, a clouded mind, and all the things you constantly have to deal with at work, there’s no way you can completely let go.

The best sex happens when you feel like all that exists, is that moment. You block out the chaos of life, and just completely give in to those animal urges you have for that person who you love.

A bad work situation robs you of that kind of sex. Those work issues will always be in the back of your mind keeping stress levels on the surface. You just can’t let go.

The picture I painted at the beginning of this post doesn’t have to be yours. I’m not sitting here saying that every sexual experience has to be movie caliber, but it can be, if that’s what you choose as a couple.

Your work affects your sex life, and every other area of your life. We don’t get a second chance at life. How you spend your time now is important and irreversible.

My strong advice is to not spend it on a job you hate. I don’t know what this means for you specifically, but you can leave a job you hate. It’s going to take time, determination, a great plan, and more perseverance than anyone has ever seen.

Don’t be the guy that reads this, and automatically dismisses it because it’s hard. Be the person who will at least think about it, the person who starts to see what’s possible because they start to believe.

Choose yourself, choose your relationship, and choose to truly live life. Choose a better relationship, and an amazing sex life. There are no easy answers for leaving a job you hate. All I can tell you is that if you start today, you can get there.

Has your work ever affected your sex life? 

Photo:  Flickr/ Pedro Ignacio Guridi

This article originally appeared on the Good Men Project.

The Last Day of a Job You Hate (Flashback)

This was the very first article I ever posted on this website (2011). Since we’re starting a new year, I thought it would be fitting to refresh and repost. 

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I must have been dreaming pretty hard because I had one of those situations where you hear a noise you think is part of your dream, but then realize it’s your alarm clock. That moment always sucked!

I woke up to a nice pool of my own drool; I got out of bed (reluctantly) and did my usual morning routine. The worst part being looking over and seeing my wife enjoying her sleep. I’m not going to lie, I was jealous.

I bet you’re wondering what my job was. I was a bread delivery driver that woke up at midnight to deliver bread to grocery stores. The job itself wasn’t bad, but the company and grocery stores were soul-sucking.

Every morning that I drove to this job I cringed, but halfway there I remembered a crucial detail: this was my last day!

There were more politics than Washington D.C. at this job, so going there was never fun, but not that day. As I walked into the door to our warehouse, I could smell the B.S. and drama, I looked over and saw the managers that had made my life hell for 12 years.

I thought about shaking their hand and saying, “Have a good life’ but something inside me wouldn’t let me do it. I knew deep down inside that if I was going to heal, I had to vent.

I walked right up to those managers and called them a pack of **** (I won’t repeat the words). I told them it was possible to do their job without having to treat their employees like crap. I flipped them off and spit at their feet. I could literally feel stress melting away.

I went to all the stores I had delivered to so many times before. I said goodbye to some amazing people who worked at the stores and told some horrible managers to eat rocks. I parked the truck at the end of the day relieved and excited.

For 12 years I lived in fear of the job, the customers, the stores, and management. That last day I got enough courage to end a terrible job properly.

What I just shared was the last day of a job that sucked the life out of me for 12 years. The truth is that it took years to heal and forget the hell I went through at the job.

The Washington Post tells us that 87% of Americans hate their job. If you’re reading this, chances are you are in a job you hate. If you are, I bet you resonate with the feelings I had that last day.

What can you do about? Our economy hasn’t fully recovered and everyday we hear of another large company letting thousands of people go. Job security is a thing of the past.

Despite this economy, and despite your circumstances, you have to get out of a job you hate. This job is affecting every area of your life and you’re bringing all that junk home with you. This job is keeping you from true happiness.

I wish I had all the answers, I wish I could tell you how to leave a job you hate tomorrow and thrive, but this isn’t a movie. I’m not going to sugar coat this for you, there’s enough of that going on already.

What I will say is if you’re willing to bust your butt, you can find or create work that you love. If you research your dream job or business, put a plan in place, and take action on that plan, you can get there.

It’s going to take time and more perseverance than you think is possible. It’s going to take making this transition through many failures, and a ton of negative voices. It’s going to take beating your doubt and fear, but you can do it.

I don’t know what the last day of a job you hate will be like, but I do know that day is possible. I could list example after example of ordinary, real life people who defied the odds.

Not only can you do this, you need to do this. Life is too short to live it miserably. Life is too short to spend 40 plus hours doing something you hate.

It’s been a few years since I left that job. I haven’t regretted that decision one single day. Money has been rough at times, and there has been stress, but not even close to the same kind.

I love what I do and I love the freedom I experience everyday. The journey was rough, and it took the death of my father to get here, but I’m happy. My family is happy. Life is good.

What will you do on the last day of a job you hate?

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2015 is here. This can be the year you publish a book or help the sales of an existing self-published book. I’m sharing how I’ve sold over 86,000 copies of my books, and Jimmy Burgess is sharing how he’s launched six #1 Amazon bestsellers. Registration for our class ends January 6th. Details here.

This week’s articles

5 Lies Entrepreneurs Need to Stop Believing

Entrepreneur Magazine

5 Reasons to Sell Everything and Move to Hawaii

The Huffington Post

5 Ways Your Work Could Be Affecting Your Life

The Good Men Project

Photo: Flickr/  Boris Lechaftois

6 Lessons Moving to Hawaii Taught Me About Life

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In April of 2010 my wife and I went on vacation to Maui, Hawaii. We expected to have a good time but we had no idea that trip would end up changing our lives. The moment we stepped off the plane we felt “something” and by the end of that trip we knew Maui would be our home someday.

We stayed in Maui for one week. We fell in love with the people, the lifestyle, and of course the food. As we started to pack up to head home we talked about how nice it would be to live in Maui. On the flight home we kicked around the idea of retiring here.

You know how it goes. Right? We got home and got busy with everyday life. Eventually even the talk faded away. Life continued on until the death of my father suddenly at the age of 54. I talked about his death on The Huffington Post.

His death was our wake up call to get serious about what we wanted from life. During the planning and eventual move to Maui on April 8th, 2014 I learned some valuable lessons about life.

1. Not everyone will understand.

When we got back from that first trip we told our family and friends about our plans. Most said “that’s great” but I’m guessing they really didn’t believe it. As the planning got serious there were questions. When we finally bought the one-way tickets some just didn’t understand.

As you make big changes in your life there will be people who just don’t get it. That’s ok. You’re doing what’s right for you and your life, not theirs. You can’t live your life for anyone else; you have to live it for you. Oscar Wilde said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

2. Hope for the best but plan for the worse.

If you’re making a big change in your life chances are there’s going to be money involved. One of the smartest things you can do is set up a rainy day fund. You hope things work out smoothly but life isn’t a movie where things magically work out.

Plan for the very likely reality that there will be an unexpected emergency. The experts will tell you what that number should be but I would tell you to have a little more than you think you’ll need.

When we made the move to Maui, we sold everything and only came here with 15 checked bags. We saved an extra four months beyond what we thought we would need. That first month between replenishing our new home and a few other unexpected expenses we went through $4,000! We were very glad we planned for an emergency situation and you will be, too.

3. Patience pays off.

Let’s be honest, it’s hard to wait! We want what we want right now. The problem with instant gratification is that it doesn’t last very long. It took three years to make our dream a reality.

Waiting taught us to be grateful once we finally got here. Waiting taught us the difference between a quick fix and real change. Patience is hard but if you can persevere what’s waiting for you is greater than words can describe.

4. Be open to change.

Too often we’re so wrapped up in our own little bubble that we fail to realize there’s a whole wide world out there with unlimited possibilities. New cultures, new foods, new people, and life-changing experiences can be yours if you’re open to change.

Adjusting to life in Maui really opened us up to change. It’s a slower pace of life here. It’s sometimes referred to as “Hawaiian time.” You don’t encounter things like road rage or people always in a rush. Here you’ll find what’s called the “Aloha Spirit.”

Change is hard, but if you embrace it instead of fighting it, you’ll find a smoother journey to your dreams. Life is too short to live in a bubble. Open your mind and heart and claim the life you truly deserve.

5. You can’t do it all alone.

Life can be rough and having a good shoulder to cry on can be the difference between success and failure. A good support system can cheer with you during your successes and talk you off the ledge during your failures.

Failure is a part of the journey and everyone fails. The people who are successful in life have figured out that every time you fail you get back up and keep moving forward anyways.

If you’re going to make a big change in your life set up a good support system. Reach out to family or good friends and let them know what you’re doing. Let them keep you accountable and be there for you through the good times and the bad ones.

The key is to find honest, positive people. You don’t want them to sugar coat it for you but you also can’t afford negative people in your life. A negative person can be a dream killer.

6. Your dreams are possible.

After my father’s death I got serious about living a life of no regrets. It took three years but I lost 170 pounds and left a job I hated to write full-time. We moved from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, to Maui, Hawaii.

I don’t have a college degree or any special skills. Three years ago I was delivering bread to grocery stores. If I can do this, so can you. Stop waiting for permission to live the life you want to live. You have the power inside you to make whatever change you want to make.

We’re not guaranteed a tomorrow. Life is short; it’s too short to listen to doubt, fear, and the negative voices of others. Today is the day to start making those big changes that will better your life.

Pick yourself. Believe in yourself and take action today. It may take some time but it will be worth it once you reach your victory!

What big changes are you making in your life?

Don’t miss the free call Jimmy and I are doing about self-publishing today. Details here.

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This article originally appeared on the Huffington Post.

5 Things You Need to Stop Telling Yourself if You Want to Be Happy

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Too many of us are content to live a good enough life. If we were asked what happiness means, we wouldn’t have an answer, because we gave up on happiness long ago.

There are many people in some really difficult situations; they’re living through things that we’ll never understand, but there are those of us that can have happiness in our life, if we changed the way we thought about ourselves.

Happiness isn’t some mystical thing that only happens in movies. Even in difficult times you can be happy if you choose to be. There are five self-limiting beliefs that we need to stop telling ourselves if we’re going to live a truly happy life.

1. I’m not good enough

It may have been an abusive partner, a negative friend, or even a parent, but in the back of your mind, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re not good enough and therefore don’t deserve happiness.

If you’re going to be successful, and live a happy life, it has to start with what’s in your mind. It may be hard, but you have to leave the past where it belongs.

Those people were wrong for what they did, but if you continue to believe those lies they planted in your head, you’re letting them win. You’re robbing yourself of the happiness you deserve. You ARE good enough. Prove it by moving past people who will never understand happiness themselves.

2. I’m not special

Just because you’re not an Olympic medal holder, or a Nobel Prize winner, doesn’t mean you’re not special. The things that make each of us different are what makes us special.

Too often we try to blend in or even copy people. Steve Jobs said it best when he describes those who are “square pegs in round holes.” Embrace what makes you who you are. Trying to be someone you’re not is keeping from being happy.

3. I hate the way I look

Last year I weighed 370 pounds and hated the way I looked. It got so bad I didn’t want to leave the house. I knew I needed to lose the weight because it wasn’t healthy, and my father died of weight-related issues.

If you are overweight, I’m here to tell you that you can lose the weight over time. It’s not going to be easy, but you can do it. If you aren’t overweight, but just don’t like the way you look, you need to realize how beautiful you are.

If someone has told you otherwise, they’re wrong. You’re special, and unique, and those who truly love you understand this. You may not be a model, but you don’t have to be. Be proud of who you are and how you look. When you can appreciate the way you look, you’ll find happiness.

4. I’m not strong enough

Life is hard, change is hard, fighting self-limiting beliefs are hard, but somewhere inside you is enough strength to win these battles. You are strong enough to choose happiness. If there are days when you don’t feel that strength, reach out to a supportive person for help, feed off of their strength.

This doesn’t mean that you’re “superman” every day. There are days when all you can do is laugh it off and go to bed. Take your happiness journey one day at a time. If you have those down days, determine to make the next day happier!

5. This is as good as it gets

If this were as good as it gets, life would be depressing. You may be facing a difficult circumstance, but you can overcome it and thrive to greater heights. This doesn’t have to be the end of your story.

The point that I’ve been trying to make this entire blog is that you have a choice. You decide what you want for your life. If it’s success and happiness, make that shift in your mind, and then do what it takes to get there.

When you listen to self-limiting beliefs, it affects the actions you take. You don’t want to try because you’re convinced you’ll fail or that you’re not worth it.

You are worth it, and you deserve to live everyday of your life happy. If no one else in your life believes in you, know that I do. Life is too short; time is the one thing we’ll never get back.

Believe in yourself, and you will find happiness. Don’t listen to the haters or those that will try to hold you back in life. Stop letting self-limiting beliefs win — they have won for far too long!

Have you let self-limiting beliefs keep you from happiness?

3 Reasons Why That ‘Free Consultation’ Is a Losing Strategy for Entrepreneurs

Entrepreneur Magazine

8 Reasons to Choose Travel Over Going to College 

The Huffington Post

The Number One Reason You’re Not Living Out a Bug Dream

The Good Men Project

This article originally appeared on the Huffington Post.

Photo credit: Flickr/ Moyan Brenn

7 Lessons Quitting a Job I Hated Taught Me About Life

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For 12 years I worked at a job I absolutely hated. I started this job at 19 years old, and back then it was exciting. I made $55,000 that first year and lived like a millionaire.

As the years went on, liking turned to disliking, disliking turned to miserable, miserable turned to outright hatred. As my wife and I had children, it got harder to wake up at midnight every night and deliver bread.

Our kids had school activities late at night, which meant I would sleep three hours, and then go to work. After years of no sleep, stress, anger, depression, and every emotion you can imagine, things started to fall apart.

I gained 170 pounds from the stress, and eating fast food at odd hours, I mismanaged our finances, and my wife and I separated. I sat there in my living room in May of 2011 crying, not knowing what to do.

It took three years, and more of me than I thought possible, but I quit that job I hated. I lost 170 pounds, and our family moved to our dream designation of Maui, Hawaii. This incredible journey taught me some valuable life lessons.

1. Fear will make your excuses make sense

The fear of failure holds us back from so many amazing things in life. When it comes to our dream, we make excuses to not do something about them. Fear makes those excuses seem rational.

It’s easier to believe fear than the possibility of a better life. If you really think about it, fear is easy; doing something about that fear is hard. Choose action even though it’s hard because after the storm, there’s always a rainbow.

2. Doubt will make you complacent

We all struggle with doubt. We question whether we’re good enough, or smart enough, or even deserve a better life. Doubt is a silent dream killer, and destroys too many dreams.

You believe your doubt so much you don’t do anything about your dreams. You settle for a good enough life. You can’t listen to doubt and you can’t settle in life because you’re destined for so much more.

3. Negative people will hold you back

When you’re excited about making a big change, you naturally want to tell someone. Some people will be excited with you, but there will be those that try to throw water on your fire. Avoid these people.

Negative people are struggling with their own fear. They have settled and can’t stand to see someone that’s not letting fear win. Don’t listen to them, and don’t let them hold you back.

4. Have some clue what you’re doing

If you’re going to be successful in life, you must have a plan. If your dream is to leave a job you hate, there’s some things you need to do:

Figure out what you want to do in life.
Research what it will take to make your dream a reality.
Put together step-by-step plan.
Take small daily steps on that plan.

Will everything magically fall into place if you do these steps? Probably not, but this will give you the greatest chance of success.

5. Prepare for the bad times

It would be great if everything worked out how we planned, but life doesn’t work that way. We have to be prepared for unexpected emergencies. If you’re going to leave a job you hate, it’s a smart move to have an emergency fund. The experts will tell you what that amount should be, but save a little more. Better to be safe than sorry.

6. Silence any self-limiting beliefs

There are things each of us tell ourselves that keep us paralyzed. Self-limiting beliefs keep you complacent in life. They tell you to listen to your doubt and fear, they convince you that miserable job is the best you can do.

7. Don’t look back

If you can have the strength and perseverance to leave a job you hate, and to leave a good enough life, don’t second-guess yourself. Don’t waste time wondering if you deserve this amazing life you created. You do deserve it, and much more.

Don’t let fear, doubt, or the negative voices keep you in a job that makes you miserable. Gallup tells us that the average person spends 47 hours of their week working.

When you spend that much of your time doing something, it will affect every other area of your life. Whether you want to admit it or not, you bring that stress home with you.

Life is too short, and time is something we’ll never get back. Don’t spend the precious few moments you have on a job you hate. It won’t be easy, and yes the job market is bleak, but if you really want it, you can find or create work you love.

It’s going to take time, it may be one of the hardest things you ever do, but it will be worth the struggle. Choose yourself instead of a job you hate — your life and time are far too important.

How has your job affected your life?

 

This article originally appeared on the Huffington Post.

Photo: Flickr/Josef Grunig

6 Tried-and-True Email Marketing Tactics

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For too many entrepreneurs, the rise of social media has been the decline in email marketing. That is a mistake. Email marketing is still a highly effective way to increase sales for your business.

In 2013, 3.6 billion people had email accounts according to Jeff Bullas. It’s estimated that by 2016, that number will increase to 4.3 billion people. Social media is a great way to generate leads, but email converts leads into customers.

Over the years, email marketing has gotten a bad rap because of spam. Realize that spam is everywhere, even on social media. People still respond to the right kind of emails. Smart entrepreneurs use email marketing to create new business and turn customers into repeat customers.

Email marketing done right is the best tool in your marketing arsenal. The frustration with email results when entrepreneurs use dated techniques or have relied too heavily on social media. Here are six tweaks that will greatly help your email marketing efforts.

1. Offer an incentive to get people to sign up. Entrepreneurs know the value of offering a free digital download/video as an incentive to get people to sign up for their email list. The problem is most of these “gifts” are terrible.

Legendary entrepreneur, Ramit Sethi, says your free content should be better than most people’s paid content. With more than 500,000 monthly readers, he definitely practices what he preaches. When you can master this philosophy, you create life-long customers.

It’s worth your time to create a free gift that makes signing up for your email list a no brainer. When someone gets good value from your free content, they are more likely to buy your premium content. You will see a dramatic increase in conversion rates.

2. Use automation. One of the great things about email marketing is that you can have automated campaigns running 24/7. You can set up auto responders with services Mailchimp, Aweber or Infusionsoft.

These campaigns are designed to introduce new customers to your company and, eventually, what your company offers. Automating these emails frees up your time to work on your other marketing efforts.

3. Focus on the little things. Many emails from entrepreneurs are not opened because they’re missing some of the basics:

Strong headlines.
Research guiding  the best time to send emails.
Being straight to the point.
Presentation.
Clear takeaways.

Making tweaks here and there can dramatically increase your open rates. When you have a captive audience, you create an opportunity to close the sale.

4. Send out exclusive content. Your email list should feel like a VIP club. At least once a month, send content exclusively for your email list. They will realize the value and stayed subscribed.

If the exclusive content is good, they’ll recommend your email list to other people and make it a point to open every email they receive from you.

5. Don’t oversell or be afraid to sell.  Entrepreneurs create a ton of free content to build an email list. Whether it’s your blog, podcast or videos, this free content establishes your authority.

The problem comes when you only offer free content, and don’t sell regularly. When you do get around to selling, people opt out like crazy because you’ve confused them. They don’t want to be sold to because you’ve trained them to only expect free content.

You also should also avoid the other end of the spectrum. You risk coming off as the sleazy marketer if you’re always selling. A smart entrepreneur will figure out the right balance.

6. Never stop growing your list. Whether you have an email list of 50 people or 500,000, always work on growing your list. People will come and go, so adding new names is vital to keeping your email list healthy.

We live in an unprecedented time where the Internet and social media have created tremendous opportunities to grow an email list of engaged fans and future customers. Take full advantage of social media, webinars, video, guest posting and joint ventures to grow your email list. Grow that list, and nurture it.

If you can use these techniques to make your email marketing efforts better, your influence and income will increase. Use social media, but don’t neglect email. It’s still working and not going away.

How are you doing with email marketing? 

Jimmy Burgess and I have a class on self-publishing. What works and what doesn’t in 2015. The model of forming a launch team and giving away bonuses doesn’t work anymore. We’ll show you how to become a #1 Amazon bestseller author and what to do with that status. We’ll show you what has helped me sell over 86,000 books. We even throw in a section on how to get a book deal with a traditional publisher. Details here.

Transition Club

52 of you replied and said you wanted to be a part of this club. Wow, and thank you! I did pick the four people, but with so much interest, I’m going to form a second group. There will be two groups of four running on different nights of the week in January.

If you think you this is for you, don’t hesitate. Answer the three questions for your chance to join. Here’s a little about the program:

Many of you have told me you want to transition out of your day job in 2015. I’m starting a small group program (four people max) to help you do just that. This isn’t the standard “build your business advice.” This program will teach all the details of making the transition out of a day job.

We will get into building the business part, family business balance, and practical steps to getting your money in order. How to grow and maximize opportunities. Since it’s a small group, we will make this specific to your situation. This will be a very serious program.

I’ll tell you upfront that it costs $497. That includes four sessions in the month of January, a private Facebook group, and specific help to whatever your situation is. No hard sell, if this interests you, hit reply to this email and tell me:

1. Why do you want to join?

2. How committed are you to leaving your day job?

3. What’s your “why” behind this?

Only four people, and this won’t just be anyone. I will only be taking people who I feel would be the right fit for the group.

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Photo: Flickr/ Chris Messina

This article originally appeared on Entrepreneur Magazine.