H.E. Ellis's Blog, page 4
October 27, 2017
I Am A Cockroach
You may not know this about me, but I can be kind of a dick. Keep that in mind if you decide to email me promises of wealth beyond my imagination, supplied by the overthrown Prince of a war-ravaged country or by Nigerian/Sudanese/Ugandan dissidents. You may not like how the conversation goes. If anyone what […]
I am a cockroach
You may not know this about me, but I can be kind of a dick. Keep that in mind if you decide to email me promises of wealth beyond my imagination, supplied by the overthrown Prince of a war-ravaged country or by Nigerian/Sudanese/Ugandan dissidents. You may not like how the conversation goes. If anyone what […]
October 26, 2017
Firestop
Two years. Seven months. Fifteen days. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve posted anything on what used to be my favorite place in the world. Life has a funny way of pulling your attention elsewhere, whether you like it or not. What I didn’t know before I began writing was that life has always […]
March 11, 2015
Tom Cotton and Being a Good American
By now everyone in the free world has heard of Republican Senator Tom Cotton’s open letter to Iran’s Leaders. If you haven’t, you can view it here. I am also certain that Americans everywhere have already divided into their personal political camps over the matter. The point of this blog is not to discuss my […]
February 27, 2015
Bored Hellis and the Effed-up Texts
Hello, everyone. My name is H.E. Ellis, and I am a colossal pain in the ass when I’m bored. Most days I keep my boredom at bay by adding cartoon characters or celebrities I’ve never met to my phone’s contact list, or by pranking unsuspecting people who happen to incorrectly dial my cellphone number. Then there […]
February 20, 2015
How to Avoid the Slushpile, by H.E. Ellis
It’s Funny Blog Friday again, and I’m here to not only brighten your day but to pass along some sage advice on how to avoid the dreaded slushpile. What’s the slushpile, you ask? The slushpile, my friends, is the virtual trash bin where your manuscript lands the moment a prospective agent determines it is not yet ready for […]
February 17, 2015
Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!
Long before I became a New Englander I was a native of the south, specifically southern Florida. And as anyone who’s either lived in or even just visited the south can attest, no one throws a party better than a southerner (back me up here, Dayton). Because in the south a party isn’t just a […]
February 13, 2015
It’s….CUPID!!!
For Valentine’s Day I thought it only appropriate to interview the most wanted man, uh…boy in the world. I’m talking about the one, the only….CUPID. CUPID – Pleasure to be here. Despite this being my busy time of year, I can always find time for you H.E., you helped my blog become what it is […]
February 11, 2015
Toxic Feminism and the Genius of Kurt Sutter
I’ve observed a shift within the women’s rights movement over the past few years that I can no longer ignore or endure- a shift that to the naked eye presents as female empowerment but in reality is the rampant emotional and spiritual emasculation of men. Somewhere during their very noble and necessary journey out of the […]
February 1, 2015
It’s Groundhog Day!
In keeping with the month-old tradition of holiday icon interviews I am pleased to bring you a sit down with the original weatherman himself. Today we dig deeper into the mind and home of none other than…The Groundhog. Good morning…uh, what should I call you? Groundhog seems so formal. *snicker* “I’ve been called a hog […]
