H.E. Ellis's Blog, page 15
January 13, 2013
New England Dissected
I’m sure I’ve mentioned somewhere in previous posts that I’m a New Englander, but unless you’re from here you can’t really comprehend the significance of that statement. New Englanders wear their citizenship like a badge of honor, defining ourselves not by our individual states but by our geographical region, much the same way someone from [...]
January 9, 2013
Edward Hotspur and the Rainbow Pissing Unicorns
HELP!!! Is there someone out there? Can anybody read this? It’s me, Hellis, texting from deep inside a crawlspace under a house somewhere in Ohio. I don’t know how long I’ve been here or even how I got here. All I know for sure is that Edward Hotspur is not who or what you think [...]
January 1, 2013
UPDATE FROM LIBSTRONG’S SUPER MOM
Words can not express the sincere appreciation that I have for Landon Swank and Harmony Swank for taking time out of their busy schedules to come surprise Libby. What a pleasure it was to meet you both. On Saturday, December 29th Libby had the most amazing experience…Make-A-Wish granted her wish to meet Master Illusionist Landon [...]
December 31, 2012
Sparkle's Rockin' New Year
Reblogged from H.E. ELLIS: Whenever I think about New Years Eve specific images spring to mind; social gatherings, alcoholic beverages, fireworks…..kissing. So I thought to myself, what better way to showcase all that is magical about New Years Eve than with a feature post about the sparkliest woman I know? That’s right ladies and gentleman, [...]
December 30, 2012
Top 10 Turds of 2012
Reblogged from Speaker7: You may be aware, I run a weekly segment titled Turd of the Week™.* *Full disclosure: This is not weekly. It’s more of a sporadic segment, but I like Turd of the Week™ moreso than Sporadic Turd™ . You may also be aware that 2012 is quickly coming to a close, and what [...]
December 25, 2012
Iconic Interviews – The Book!
For those of you who just can’t get enough of the holiday spirit, consider purchasing the collaborative blogger eBook: ICONIC INTERVIEWS - The world’s most beloved holiday icons presented in a collection of irreverent interviews that take on the backstory of their imagined existences. Your favorite bloggers are interviewed as iconic holiday characters, each one [...]
December 24, 2012
SANTA CLAUS – THE SHOCKING CONCLUSION
Well, blogworld, your faithful Hellis here. We’re coming up on one of my very favorite times of the year. I do truly love Christmas. However, many of my readers might be shocked to learn just how totally- [Insert News Flash Music][Insert the Attention-Grabbing Alert screen] (Scene cuts in to our Anchorman, Pennis Stone) Stone: (perfect, [...]
The SANTA SHAME SPIRAL Ends…Interview with Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
Hello everyone, and welcome to what I’ve come to pray is my last interview. Hey! Pulitzer guy… ya fanug! I might be praying, but that’s all this girl’s doing on her knees for your award! … ahem. Anyway, I’m here with the one and only Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Rudolph how are you doing today? [...]
December 23, 2012
The SANTA SHAME SPIRAL Continues…Interview With Brown Shugga!
H.E.: Good morning! I have landed an exclusive with a personality not often featured in the stories concerning Santa Claus and the ongoing drama surrounding him. Today, I am interviewing Lashonda Jefferson, otherwise known as Brown Shugga. Good morning La… uhm, Ms. Shugga. B.S.: You can call me, Shugga honey. Everybody does. H.E.: I have to ask up [...]
December 22, 2012
The SANTA SHAME SPIRAL Continues…Interview With LeMonjello Otis
Today we continue our series chronicling the downfall of one of Earth’s most beloved holiday icons, Santa Claus. Our guest today is a self-proclaimed, “Herbal Entrepreneur” who was arrested that fateful night in January alongside Santa Claus. Today we sit down with Santa’s alleged dealer, LeMonjello Otis. H.E.: Hello again. Today I’m digging further into [...]
