Carole Geithner's Blog, page 4
April 12, 2013
Hudson Valley Writers' Center Author Events
Sunday, April 28th, 2013 at 4:30 PM
Carole will be reading from her novel, IF ONLY.
http://www.writerscenter.org
Located in the historic Philipse Manor Railroad Station in Sleepy Hollow, NY. 300 Riverside Drive.
Carole will be reading from her novel, IF ONLY.
http://www.writerscenter.org
Located in the historic Philipse Manor Railroad Station in Sleepy Hollow, NY. 300 Riverside Drive.
April 8, 2013
Scholastic Writing Awards for Teen Writing
I had the honor and privilege of being one of the national writing jurors for the 2013 Scholastic Writing Awards in the category of Grief and Loss. The poems, essays, and stories I read were incredibly moving and powerful.
Scholastic will be publishing an anthology, The Best Teen Writing of 2013, this fall. They will also post winning essays, stories, and poems in their online gallery this summer.
Come to the NYC exhibit! The writing, along with 500 of the works selected in the Scholastic Art Awards will be on display and open to the public at Parsons The New School for Design Sheila C. Johnson Design Center and Pratt Manhattan Gallery from June 1 – 16, 2013.
The National Awards Ceremony will be webcast live from Carnegie Hall on Friday, May 31 from 6-7pm.
www.artandwriting.org/carnegiewebcast...
Scholastic will be publishing an anthology, The Best Teen Writing of 2013, this fall. They will also post winning essays, stories, and poems in their online gallery this summer.
Come to the NYC exhibit! The writing, along with 500 of the works selected in the Scholastic Art Awards will be on display and open to the public at Parsons The New School for Design Sheila C. Johnson Design Center and Pratt Manhattan Gallery from June 1 – 16, 2013.
The National Awards Ceremony will be webcast live from Carnegie Hall on Friday, May 31 from 6-7pm.
www.artandwriting.org/carnegiewebcast...
March 29, 2013
Fostering Empathy Through Fiction
I just received the wonderful news that IF ONLY, Corinna's story about the challenging year following the death of her mother, has been added to a NJ public school district's curriculum.
It is my deep hope that my book can contribute in some small way to the much-needed empathy-building efforts in our schools.
By giving readers access to a protagonist's innermost thoughts and feelings, a fictional story can give a wide range of readers the opportunity to "walk in someone else's shoes." Readers can gain insight into and develop empathy for people whose life experiences are different, or similar in some ways and different in others, all in the safety of the story.
I wrote this book not only for grieving teens and adults, but also for their circle of support: their friends, teachers, neighbors, and family members, to give them a chance to empathize with what life might be like for a grieving teen by entering that world through the novel.
My hope is that the people in our communities will be less afraid, less likely to pull away or say something that is insensitive or hurtful after reading Corinna's story. I hope they will be more likely to "walk alongside" grieving children and teens as each one finds his or her own unique way.
It is my deep hope that my book can contribute in some small way to the much-needed empathy-building efforts in our schools.
By giving readers access to a protagonist's innermost thoughts and feelings, a fictional story can give a wide range of readers the opportunity to "walk in someone else's shoes." Readers can gain insight into and develop empathy for people whose life experiences are different, or similar in some ways and different in others, all in the safety of the story.
I wrote this book not only for grieving teens and adults, but also for their circle of support: their friends, teachers, neighbors, and family members, to give them a chance to empathize with what life might be like for a grieving teen by entering that world through the novel.
My hope is that the people in our communities will be less afraid, less likely to pull away or say something that is insensitive or hurtful after reading Corinna's story. I hope they will be more likely to "walk alongside" grieving children and teens as each one finds his or her own unique way.
January 20, 2013
December 21, 2012
Walking Alongside Our Grieving Children
How does one find words to comfort at a time like this? How can we reassure our children that they are safe in a world where people are able to get their hands on powerful guns and ammunition that can mow down classrooms of students and teachers in a matter of minutes? “You are safe and we will keep you safe” has a hollow ring to it, though those are the words and message we rush to say and our children long to hear.
Most children will pick up on some of the messages in the media, overhear snatches of whispered conversations, or notice a change in the emotional tone of the adults around them. Even if they haven’t yet asked about the Connecticut school shootings, they will inevitably ask about them or future shootings in the weeks or months or years ahead. Parents and teachers dread those questions, but being open to those conversations rather than shutting them down will allow our children to feel supported. None of us wants our children or students to feel alone as they struggle to make sense of a scary and painful part of their lives.
In my work with children who had a parent or sibling die and with adults whose lives have been shaped by early loss, I have learned some things about what helped and what hurt as they tried to make sense of a death and learn to live with the physical absence of the person they loved and cared about.
• Kids grieve in some ways that are similar to adults, and in other ways that are different. As Dr. Kenneth Doka has explained, kids have shorter “feeling spans,” so grief may be felt in “bursts” and may be observed as sadness, or may take a more disguised form, such as disruptive or regressive behavior, and/or physical reactions such as a change in appetite or sleeping.
• A child’s adjustment to death of a loved one has a lot to do with how his or her parents are coping. Having other adults to help the family return to its routines such as meal times, school, baseball, or music lessons can be very helpful when parents are having difficulty. Routines are reassuring and comforting after a crisis turns their world upside down.
• Kids need adults to be honest but reassuring when talking to them about death. The level of detail varies according to what the child seems ready to know. Ask what they’ve heard or are thinking to help clear up any misunderstandings or sense of guilt.
• Children’s cognitive understanding of death and emotional development evolve over time. Kids and teens may have new questions as they mature. It's not enough to have one conversation and consider it "done."
• Set aside assumptions about the “proper” way to grieve. People grieve in their own way, even within the same family.
• As with adults, the pain of grief lessens over time but is an uneven process, with waves of grief that are sometimes triggered by anniversaries, or things such as smells, music, and shared events.
• Kids are amazingly resilient when they feel adequately supported.
• It’s important to give children and teens a sense of choice about their involvement in preparations for and attendance at a funeral or other memorial activities.
• Creative outlets such as art, writing, song, and dance as well as free play are helpful outlets as kids try to process the difficult feelings (including feelings of anger) and make sense of the events.
• Finding ways to keep the memory of the person alive, of “continuing the bonds,” as Dr. Therese Rando calls it, by sharing memories, making favorite foods, listening to music, sending a card with a favorite memory to the family of the person who died, or looking at photos from happier times of the friend or relative who died can be helpful to the griever.
The value of listening cannot be overstated. As we try to protect our selves and our children from such frightening and sad feelings, we must be careful not to inadvertently give them the message that we cannot tolerate hearing or talking about them. Most of all, we don’t want our children to feel that they are alone.
Most children will pick up on some of the messages in the media, overhear snatches of whispered conversations, or notice a change in the emotional tone of the adults around them. Even if they haven’t yet asked about the Connecticut school shootings, they will inevitably ask about them or future shootings in the weeks or months or years ahead. Parents and teachers dread those questions, but being open to those conversations rather than shutting them down will allow our children to feel supported. None of us wants our children or students to feel alone as they struggle to make sense of a scary and painful part of their lives.
In my work with children who had a parent or sibling die and with adults whose lives have been shaped by early loss, I have learned some things about what helped and what hurt as they tried to make sense of a death and learn to live with the physical absence of the person they loved and cared about.
• Kids grieve in some ways that are similar to adults, and in other ways that are different. As Dr. Kenneth Doka has explained, kids have shorter “feeling spans,” so grief may be felt in “bursts” and may be observed as sadness, or may take a more disguised form, such as disruptive or regressive behavior, and/or physical reactions such as a change in appetite or sleeping.
• A child’s adjustment to death of a loved one has a lot to do with how his or her parents are coping. Having other adults to help the family return to its routines such as meal times, school, baseball, or music lessons can be very helpful when parents are having difficulty. Routines are reassuring and comforting after a crisis turns their world upside down.
• Kids need adults to be honest but reassuring when talking to them about death. The level of detail varies according to what the child seems ready to know. Ask what they’ve heard or are thinking to help clear up any misunderstandings or sense of guilt.
• Children’s cognitive understanding of death and emotional development evolve over time. Kids and teens may have new questions as they mature. It's not enough to have one conversation and consider it "done."
• Set aside assumptions about the “proper” way to grieve. People grieve in their own way, even within the same family.
• As with adults, the pain of grief lessens over time but is an uneven process, with waves of grief that are sometimes triggered by anniversaries, or things such as smells, music, and shared events.
• Kids are amazingly resilient when they feel adequately supported.
• It’s important to give children and teens a sense of choice about their involvement in preparations for and attendance at a funeral or other memorial activities.
• Creative outlets such as art, writing, song, and dance as well as free play are helpful outlets as kids try to process the difficult feelings (including feelings of anger) and make sense of the events.
• Finding ways to keep the memory of the person alive, of “continuing the bonds,” as Dr. Therese Rando calls it, by sharing memories, making favorite foods, listening to music, sending a card with a favorite memory to the family of the person who died, or looking at photos from happier times of the friend or relative who died can be helpful to the griever.
The value of listening cannot be overstated. As we try to protect our selves and our children from such frightening and sad feelings, we must be careful not to inadvertently give them the message that we cannot tolerate hearing or talking about them. Most of all, we don’t want our children to feel that they are alone.
December 19, 2012
Resources for Coping with Grief, Loss, and Emotional Trauma
I highly recommend the following website for its vast resources about grief, loss, and trauma -- articles, comprehensive bibliographies, and videos that are well-organized by subject: emergency responders, suicide survivors, bereaved parents, bereaved children, bereaved spouses, homicide, perinatal loss, etc.
http://journeysthrugrief.wordpress.com
http://journeysthrugrief.wordpress.com
November 9, 2012
November 6, 2012
Wendt Center for Loss and Healing
I had the honor of speaking at the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing's annual benefit on Oct. 25th. Dottie Ward Wimmer received the Wendt Hero Award, David Gregory was the Master of Ceremonies, and we heard the "Voices of Now," a collage of young voices expressing their grief experiences. It was a powerful evening spent in the good company of people who believe in and support the Wendt Center's mission.
October 28, 2012
IF ONLY reviewed on storysnoops.com
About storysnoops.com: "We offer children's book reviews from a parent's perspective. Our search tools make it easy for parents, teachers, and librarians to identify tween and teen fiction for all types of readers. StorySnoops is a unique reading resource to help you find fiction that fits."
Here's a link to the review:
http://www.storysnoops.com/detail.php...
Here's a link to the review:
http://www.storysnoops.com/detail.php...
October 12, 2012
Middle School Librarian's Feedback about IF ONLY
I was thrilled to receive this email from a middle school librarian yesterday:
I wanted to send you this photo of our 10 most popular titles in September. You can see that your book is #6! Your visit made a lasting impression. We have ten copies of If Only and they are constantly sought out by students.
I wanted to send you this photo of our 10 most popular titles in September. You can see that your book is #6! Your visit made a lasting impression. We have ten copies of If Only and they are constantly sought out by students.
