Jim Vuksic's Blog, page 5

The Right to Die and Not be Eaten

This past Friday (April 12), New Jersey officially joined the ranks of eight other states and the District of Columbia to make it legal to give a terminally ill patient the right to take his/her own life and die with dignity.

At 71 years of age, I still enjoy an active, interesting, and independent lifestyle. However, I have visited enough acquaintances in personal care homes and lying in caskets in funeral homes to realize that, sooner or later, my lifestyle may no longer be enjoyable, active, interesting, or independent. When that time does arrive, I would like the freedom and opportunity to consider ending it on my own terms.

Hopefully, whenever that time comes, my home state of Pennsylvania will have joined the ranks of those that have adopted assisted suicide laws. If not, I will move in with one of my adult children who lives in New Jersey until I fulfill the legal residency requirement. At that time, I will end my life with dignity and no regrets. A dog named Buster currently resides with that adult child and her family. Buster is a great dog, but he has a tendency to eat any dead thing made of meat and bone. Since I am an organ donor and have stipulated in my will that what ever parts are left be cremated, I hereby insist that Buster not be permitted to eat me.

You Are What You Read! (Really?)

There is an adage: "You are what you read!" If true, that makes me one extremely complex and challenging person. The following inventory of the books currently residing on my bookcase shelves may clarify and validate that pronouncement.

Nonfiction (Listed alphabetically by author, not preference.)
Damon Runyon (Biography) by Jimmy Breslin
Cracking Da Vinci's Code by James L. Carlow & Peter Jones
What a Year It Was! 1947 by Beverly Chon & Peter Hess
Son of the Morning Star (Custer & The Little Bighorn) by Evan S. Connell
Civil War Quiz and Fact Book by Rod Cragg
Don't Know Much About History by Kenneth C. Davis
1,000 Years, 1,000 People by Gottlieb & Bowers
Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray, Ph.D.
Mars and Venus Together Forever by John Gray, Ph.D.
Mars and Venus in the Bedroom by John Gray, Ph.D.
Mars and Venus in Love by John Gray, Ph.D.
Read With Dick and Jane Series (1 thru 12) by Gosset & Dunlap
About Face by Col. David H. Hackworth
Secrets from the White House Kitchens by John R. Hanny
Be My Guest by Conrad Hilton
Eyewitness to the Civil War by Neil Kagan & Stephen G. Hyslop
Eyewitness to World War II by Neil Kagan & Stephen G. Hyslop
Liberty and Tyranny (A Consertive Manifesto) Mark R. Levin
The Marine Machine by William Mares
In Retrospect (The Tragedy & Lessons of Vietnam) by Robert S. McNamara
Word, Power Point, Excel Instructions by Microsoft
Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul by Multiple Contributors
A Billy Yank Governor by Bernard A. Olsen
Upon the Tented Field by Bernard A. Olsen
The O'Reilly Factor by Bill O'Reilly
The No Spin Zone by Bill O'Reilly
Who's Looking Out for You? by Bill O'Reilly
Live Long and... (What I Learned Along the Way) by William Shatner w/David Fisher
Walt Disney World Resort Souvenir
The Leg Lamp in the Window (A Look Inside "A Christmas Story" House) by Patricia Swinger
The War (An Intimate History 1941 - 1945) by Geoffrey C. Ward & Ken Burns
The War Within by Tom Wells
The Internet for Dummies (4th. edition) by Margaret Levine Young
Getting Your Book Published for Dummies by Sarah Parsons Zackheim

Fiction Listed alphabetically by author, not preference.)
The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albam
Little Women/Little Men/Short Stories by Louisa May Alcott
The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
The Valley of the Horses by Jean M. Auel
The Mammoth Hunters by Jean M. Auel
The Plains of Passage by Jean M. Auel
The Shelters of Stone by Jean M. Auel
The Land of Painted Caves by Jean M. Auel
Comanche Dawn by Mike Blakely
Shortgrass Song by Mike Blakely
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Deception Point by Dan Brown
Tai-Pan by James Clavell
The Horse Catchers by Amanda Cockrell
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Three Roads to the Alamo by William O. Davis
The Stolen Child by Keith Donohue
Flight Lessons by Patricia Gaffney
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
The Morning River by W. Michael Gear
Coyote Summer by W. Michael Gear
Gettysburg by Newt Gingrich & William R. Forstchen
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Angel Light by Andrew M. Greeley
After the King (Stories in Honor of J.R.R. Tolkien) by Martin H. Greenberg (Editor)
Forest Gump by Winston Groom
Asleep at the Wheel by John R. Hanny
The Gates of the Alamo by Stephen Harrigan
Childhood Fears (4-book Anthology) by Christine Hayton & Others
Hanta Yo by Ruth Bebee Hill
Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Aztec by Gary Jennings
Aztec Autumn by Gary Jennings
Ride the Moon Down by Terry C. Johnston
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
The Stand by Stephen King
The Gunslinger by Stephen King
The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King
The Waste Lands by Stephen King
Wizard and Glass by Stephen King
Wolves of the Calla by Stephen King
Song of Susannah by Stephen King
The Dark Tower by Stephen King
Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz
Nothing But The Truth by John Lescroart
No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
The Testament by Eric Van Lustbater
The Deep End of the Ocean by Jacquelyn Mitchar
The Kappillan of Malta by Nicholas Monsarrat
Those Who Trespass by Bill O'Reilly
Dust by Charles Pellegrino
The Inverted World by Christopher Priest
The Godfather by Mario Puzo
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Gods and Generals by Jeff Shaara
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Volume 1) by William Shakespeare
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Volume 2) by William Shakespeare
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Fringe Patriots by Carl R. Smith
Book of Mormon/Doctrine & Covenants/Pearl of Great Price by Joseph Smith
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Return of the King by J.R.R Tolkien
Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien
Holy Bible (King James Version) by Unknown
Levels by Jim Vuksic

Dying is Primarily a Spectator Event

My paternal grandparents died before I was born. My maternal grandparents died prior to my 5th. birthday. So, at the time, death was a mysterious, abstract concept which I deemed very confusing, a bit frightening, and not very interesting.

My first close personal encounters with death occurred 1967. Upon graduating from high school in 1965, seven boyhood friends and I enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps and all served a combat tour of duty in Vietnam. Five of us returned home. Three of us will be 19-years-old forever.

The next encounter was very personal and extremely painful. One of my five children was killed in a horrific accident which I and my oldest daughter personally witnessed. He was only 4 1/2-years-old.

I was present when my father died after suffering a severe stroke and, years later, when my mother died of cancer.

In 2005, I was at my wife's side, holding her hand, when she finally lost her two-year battle with cancer. She was only 56-years-old.

These personal experiences have taught me that dying is primarily a spectator event. Some have personally witnessed more deaths than I; others, fewer. That said; we all have one thing in common: all we could do was helplessly watch our loved ones die. It is my sincere wish that I will never have to witness another death. It is my turn to die and others' turn to watch and grieve. I feel that I have earned that.

When the time finally arrives for me to actively participate in my own death, I hope to perform well so that loved ones watching will be proud and consoled by the fact that I died well, without fear, regret or self-pity. There is an old saying: "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!" I believe that you only die once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

The Multi-Religious Bracelet

My maternal grandmother was a devout Methodist. My paternal grandmother was a devout Roman Catholic. However, they did agree upon and strongly supported one common doctrine: "Judge not, lest ye be judged!"

In 1965, at the age of 18, I became a devout Atheist. Both grandmothers were shocked and disappointed, but true to their belief, neither judged me. 1965 was also the year that the U.S. involvement in Vietnam evolved into an all-out shooting war. Being very patriotic and extremely naive, I enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps.

In February, 1967, I was assigned to a rifle company in Chu-Lai, Vietnam. One of the members of my platoon had an odd nickname. His last name contained 14 letters and was almost impossible to pronounce. His drill instructors at Parris Island immediately christened him "Alphabet". The name stuck.

Alphabet's personal taste in jewelry was even odder than his nickname. He wore a charm bracelet that contained a small gold cross, Star of David, Islam Crescent, and a tiny replica of Buddha. Alphabet believed that, if he placed his faith in several gods, one was bound to be the right one and would protect him in battle. Alphabet also happened to be the biggest, toughest guy in the outfit, so no one mocked or challenged his personal belief.

Alphabet and I were among the 55 members of our rifle company to survive our 13-month combat tour. Sadly, 17 did not. Alphabet attributed his good fortune to the wearing of his multi-religious charm bracelet. I attributed mine to fortunately always being in the right place at the right time and never being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

At age 71, I am still an Atheist and, according to his most recent letter, Alphabet is still wearing that bracelet. Neither of us has ever questioned or criticized the other's beliefs. I can't help feeling that the one basic religious concept which my grandmothers agreed upon regarding judging others is a wise and true philosophy that everyone should follow.

Famous Quotes To Live By

"A problem is nothing more than an opportunity in disguise."
Benjamin Franklin (Inventor/Politician/ Scientist) 1706 - 1790.

"Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not."
Robert Kennedy (Politician) 1925 - 1968.

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Mary Ann Evans aka George Eliot (Author) 1819 - 1880.

"It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble. It's what we know that ain't so."
Will Rogers (Humorist) 1879 - 1935.

"Success in not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill (Former Prime Minister of the U.K.) 1874 - 1965.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Bernard Baruch (Statesman/Author) 1870 - 1965.

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
Mae West (Sex Symbol/Actress) 1893 - 1980.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
Theodore Seuss Geisel aka Dr. Seuss (Children's Books Author) 1904 - 1991.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
(Anna) Eleanor Roosevelt (First Lady/Social Advocate) 1884 - 1968.

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."
Samuel Langhorne Clemens aka Mark Twain (Author) 1835 - 1910.

"Children don't wait for you to spend time with them. They grow up with or without you."
Sharon Randall (Columnist/Reporter) 1961 - Still Living.

"Don't tell me about your god with words. Show me about your god with your actions."
Steve Maracoli (Author/Radio Commentator) 1975 - Still Living.

"The past may dictate who we are, but we get to determine what we become."
Steven Spielberg (Film Director/Screenwriter/Producer) 1946 - Still Living.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Edmond Burke (Political Commentator/Philosopher) 1729 - 1797)

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."
Robert Frost (Poet) 1874 - 1963.

(MA) Intended for Mature Audiences Only!

As the title indicates, this blog post is intended for mature people only. Immature people will not only disagree with the subject matter, most of them may not even comprehend it.

Name Calling
More often than not, name calling is intended to denigrate someone and hurt their feelings. Even some well-intended pet names sometimes are merely tolerated rather than appreciated. The next time you get the urge to call someone a name other than the one their parents gave them, don't!

Body or Face Shaming
"Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder." This is not only a wise adage, it is factual. What one culture or civilization deems ugly or repulsive, another may very well consider it to be attractive and admirable. The only opinion that truly matters is that of the person whose reflection is staring back at you when you gaze into a mirror. Be who you are, not what you think others may want you to be.

Grieving
When some one we truly care about dies, it hurts. We miss them and will never forget them. That said; we must not spend the remainder of our life constantly grieving for what is lost, we should make a concerted effort to think about and share time with those who are still with us. Grief is a healthy psychological outlet; however, we must not permit it to take over our lives and lead to acute depression. Life is for the living , death comes soon enough.

Embracing the Good and Tolerating the Bad
Until we feel pain, we cannot appreciate pleasure. Until we experience illness, we cannot appreciate good health. Until we have been hated, we cannot appreciate being loved. Until we have been hungry, we cannot appreciate being well-fed. Until we experience death, we cannot appreciate life.

End of Life Regrets

The loved ones whom I tried to comfort and support during the final days of their life shared one thing in common - they all had regrets. No doubt, so will I.

Being human and therefore, fallible, we sometimes make mistakes and exhibit poor judgement and bad behavior. We can and should regret some things we have done. What we should not have to do during the final hours of our existence, and for which there is no excuse, is regret not having done things we wanted to do, could have done, and should have done, but did not. Just do them!

We Can't be Perfect, But We Can Be Better

Striving for perfection is an admirable and noble goal. However, in the entire history of mankind, no one has ever managed to actually succeed in achieving perfection.

We may not be able to become perfect, but our life and legacy will be all the more positive and appreciated if we at least try.

Strive to be better today than yesterday and even better tomorrow than today. Those with whom we are acquainted will appreciate it and the world in general will be a much better place.

Tolerating My 71st. Birthday

In four days, I will celebrate my 71st. birthday. "Tolerate" would be the more accurate verb. Realizing that I have far more years behind me than ahead of me, I occasionally reminisce and try to honestly and objectively evaluate my life to-date.

For the most part, I have enjoyed an interesting and happy life.
- I attended a Roman Catholic seminary from 1961 through 1965, returning home only for a few days during the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter holidays, and for 2 1/2 months for the summer vacation.
- In 1966, seven boyhood friends and I enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps together and all eight of us served in Vietnam. Five of us returned.
- I got an entry-level job with the H.J. Heinz Company in 1968 and retired 33 years later as the manager of the company's Pittsburgh facility.
- I married my late wife in 1970. We had five children and remained a loving couple for 35 1/2 years.
- I now have four wonderful adult children, four fantastic grandchildren, and three considerate and respectful sons-in-law.

As with all lives, there were occasions of hardship, sadness, and grief. However, I prefer to remember and contemplate them in private.

At 71, I will continue to enjoy socializing, going on road trips, and reading. I have few regrets, many fond memories, and absolutely no fear of death, content in the knowledge that, upon the cessation of my brief existence, my molecules will be scattered and become the building blocks of new animate and inanimate objects.

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!" - Mae West (Actress) 1893 - 1980

Getting a Woman Pregnant Does Not Entitle a Man to Claim the Title of "Father"

Getting a woman pregnant does not entitle a man to claim the title of Father any more than giving birth entitles a woman to claim the title of Mother.

Earning the title of Father involves always striving to provide the child for whom you share responsibility an example of how to live a good life through actions, not words. The adage "Do as I say not as I do!" doesn't cut it.

Reward a child when they have earned it and punish them when they deserve it. Do memorable things with a child as often as possible. This often means having to do what they want rather than what you would rather be doing. Those memories will remain with them long after you are gone. Listen to them when they need to talk. Talk to them when they need to listen. Most of all, never stop loving them. Sometimes they will do or say something that makes loving them difficult, but you must do it anyway. Children need love the most when they least deserve it.

For those of you who have truly earned the title of Father, I salute you on this your special day. Happy Father's Day!