Dying is Primarily a Spectator Event
My paternal grandparents died before I was born. My maternal grandparents died prior to my 5th. birthday. So, at the time, death was a mysterious, abstract concept which I deemed very confusing, a bit frightening, and not very interesting.
My first close personal encounters with death occurred 1967. Upon graduating from high school in 1965, seven boyhood friends and I enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps and all served a combat tour of duty in Vietnam. Five of us returned home. Three of us will be 19-years-old forever.
The next encounter was very personal and extremely painful. One of my five children was killed in a horrific accident which I and my oldest daughter personally witnessed. He was only 4 1/2-years-old.
I was present when my father died after suffering a severe stroke and, years later, when my mother died of cancer.
In 2005, I was at my wife's side, holding her hand, when she finally lost her two-year battle with cancer. She was only 56-years-old.
These personal experiences have taught me that dying is primarily a spectator event. Some have personally witnessed more deaths than I; others, fewer. That said; we all have one thing in common: all we could do was helplessly watch our loved ones die. It is my sincere wish that I will never have to witness another death. It is my turn to die and others' turn to watch and grieve. I feel that I have earned that.
When the time finally arrives for me to actively participate in my own death, I hope to perform well so that loved ones watching will be proud and consoled by the fact that I died well, without fear, regret or self-pity. There is an old saying: "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!" I believe that you only die once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
My first close personal encounters with death occurred 1967. Upon graduating from high school in 1965, seven boyhood friends and I enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps and all served a combat tour of duty in Vietnam. Five of us returned home. Three of us will be 19-years-old forever.
The next encounter was very personal and extremely painful. One of my five children was killed in a horrific accident which I and my oldest daughter personally witnessed. He was only 4 1/2-years-old.
I was present when my father died after suffering a severe stroke and, years later, when my mother died of cancer.
In 2005, I was at my wife's side, holding her hand, when she finally lost her two-year battle with cancer. She was only 56-years-old.
These personal experiences have taught me that dying is primarily a spectator event. Some have personally witnessed more deaths than I; others, fewer. That said; we all have one thing in common: all we could do was helplessly watch our loved ones die. It is my sincere wish that I will never have to witness another death. It is my turn to die and others' turn to watch and grieve. I feel that I have earned that.
When the time finally arrives for me to actively participate in my own death, I hope to perform well so that loved ones watching will be proud and consoled by the fact that I died well, without fear, regret or self-pity. There is an old saying: "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!" I believe that you only die once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
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