Brandon Shire's Blog, page 41

How does it make you feel?

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Wanted you to see this amazing It Gets Better video done by one of my young friends.  What is poignant here, is that in my own experiences I have had grown men and women shed the same tears decades later over similar experiences.

So my simple question, when do we stop allowing bullying to be labelled as a 'gay issue' and start concerning ourselves with the kids?

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A Talk For Parents of LGBT Children

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Here's a video from a close friend specifically for parents of LGBT children coming out.  Probably the most important point to convey before I step off this stage and let David talk to you is the fact that children simply want to be loved, but his video goes beyond that and is well worth watching.

 

Note: I've also added a few resource link below for parents seeking more information, and you can also click over to LGBT Youth Orgs for more.

 

GLBT National Help Resource Center (for finding LGBT resources near you)
Ten Things I've Learned About Gay People in Ten Years | A Christian Perspective
Gay youth, family rejection, and health problems
The Link Between LGBT Youth, Bullying, and Suicide
18 Anti-Gay Groups and Their Propaganda

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The Atlanta Sisters – Saint Lost and Found

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[image error] The Saint Lost and Found Organization is a grass roots Atlanta based movement working to get LGBT kids off the street right now, at this very moment. It is still in its infancy, but it is already changing lives. Below is just one of the latest updates about what's going on with the movement and with the organization. I am very proud to say that this is one of the nonprofits that benefits from sales of Rain and one of the very few I have ever worked with that is out there going to the kids instead of waiting for them to show up.  This is the gay community helping lgbt youth. Read below how such simple acts of kindness change lives, perceptions and eventually… life outcomes. And please consider a donation. $20 gets one kid off the street for the night and gives him/her a warm bed, and the hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

 

FIRST – I am happy to report that the Lesbian couple and baby get to meet their GOSTER= Gay Foster Family tomorrow nite. If all goes well and they approve of each other, they will be moving in next week.

SECOND – We welcome our first TRANSperson into the "Saint Lost And Found"!!!

She is M-F, 23, beautiful, and very smart. I went to check her into the hotel and the staff said that they didn't have any rooms clean. I responded that we'd take a dirty one but thats not allowed.

I told her not to worry, we'd figure this out. I took her to RUBY REDD's BINGO at Mellow Mushroom and left her in the capable hands of a couple of SISTERs and trusted Drags. Told her to order up, eat and enjoy the show. I then went to work and had the other volunteers contact Hotel Mgmt and a room was found. I got the youths ID and went and checked her in.

Yes I left at BINGO because she was smiling and laughing and having a great time. I had NEVER seen this kid cut loose and let her guard down. Being on the streets tends to harden their souls.

I arrived back to the event with room key in hand and she was having a GRAND OLE TIME still, so we stayed till the end of the show and she didn't stop laughing and smiling the whole time. She took lots of pics of her new friends and was ecstatic with the whole nite.

I meet her in the parking lot and she asked if we could stand there and say goodbye to everyone, to which I say -Yes, Of Course!!!

On the way back to the car, she thanked me and said that she had an incredible time, and that she hadn't felt that NORMAL in a LONG time – that even if they were faking it, everyone there seemed to care and was SO nice.

Choking back the tears, I explained that they were not faking it, they were good people who do care. That they didn't know her situation and they were there to just help, that if she felt she had made a connection it was because she had. I told her that she should ALWAYS remember that she has value and that she has people that care for her and her well being.

So Much Emotion and Pride churned inside – I was beside myself.

Many Many Thanks to @Ruby Redd and her divas, Gunza Blazin, Barbie Q. Sugarbaker, the Atlanta Bucks Rugby Football Club Atlanta Bucks, SisterIsadora Knocking, SisterT'Keela Mockingburd and the staff of Mello Mushroom. Ya made an old activist and queen proud of the community that this SISTER serves.

XOXOXO

Rapture

Please consider a small donation.

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Thank You Readers

THANK YOU to all who purchased The Value Of Rain in Q3 and allowed me to authorize 2 checks for homeless LGBT kids.

http://brandonshire.com/lgbt-youth-or...

What Do You Tell Him?

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Meet Tyler.

Tyler's dad found out he was homosexual and disowned him, denied that he ever existed, and threw him out of the house after beating him unconscious. Tyler is 14.

When he is on the street picking through dumpsters looking for something, anything, to eat, he thinks of all the times he heard his parents tell him that they would love him no matter what.

He recalls when he lay curled in his father's lap while his daddy read to him. He remembers that he would drift off to sleep in his arms only to awaken the next morning tucked safely in bed. He thinks that this memory, which has suddenly left him trembling and near tears again, is only three years old. Just three years, when he was eleven, and didn't really understand all the names and rage his father would throw at him later.

He wonders what his mom is doing now, why she never stepped forward and said, "Enough!" Why she never did anything on that night but cinch the curtain a little tighter when he turned and looked back at what used to be his home. Did she hate him too?

He has seen other gay kids out here, rummaging in the same places. They've told him where he can get food, for a price.

But he isn't that desperate, yet. He just wants to be loved, not fondled.

They offer him things; pills and pipes and small needles that they say will take all the pain away. They say that these things will make him feel less like a lesser being. Less like he's drowning in this city's air, less like an unloved faggot.

He seen bible thumpers come around too, promising safety and food, and love. But that was what his dad said when they were sweating in the pews talking about mercy and the love of Jesus and how this damned country is going to hell.

He doesn't think he can face all that again, so he turns away; still hungry, still aching, still wanting desperately to be loved.

When winter comes he is cold. He'd never realized how cold it got in the south and wonders how the homeless in the northern cities can make it. But the cold matches the grey wind he feels inside; that vast emptiness that he never felt before he was kicked out, and it makes him want to sleep.

That's all he really wants right in this moment is sleep. He is used to the hunger, the pawing of old hands and the grunts as he does what he needs to do in order to survive. He is used to all that and he thinks he has now grown used to the cold too because sleep just keeps pressing up against his brain, against his heart. Just a peaceful sleep where he can dream away the being the lesser of a lesser being….

 

When you pick Tyler's lifeless body from the street, and note the smudged bruises around his face; when his hand slips back onto the pavement as you pull him into your embrace and there is no one there but you and your tears, what then? How do you now tell this boy that he had value, that he was loved, that someone cared?

Do you tell him that God never loved him? Do you tell him that those people who hid behind the splinters in the cross had really good intentions which never quite materialized into actual compassion? Do you tell him that you're fucking sorry? That you had more important things to do, that you saw him once on your way to grab a latte but turned away because you were embarrassed? Do you break down wailing as you pull him in tighter and beg him, and those like him, for forgiveness because… well, because you have  a hard time facing things that are…. hard?

What do you tell him when you're finally standing alone above a marker that no one but you will ever visit? What do you say to people who ask where you've been and the only answer that fumbles from your mouth is that you went to visit 'Tyler.'

You say this because it's the name you gave him, and because you don't know, and never will know, what his smile looked like when his birth name was called.

Honestly, what do you tell him?

 

To help combat LGBT Youth homelessness

Visit my LGBT Youth Organizations page OR you can make an immediate donation to the Atlanta Sister's Saint Lost & Found a front line  nonprofit organization working to get lgbt kids in Atlanta off the streets, or GLBTAYS a non profit working in rural Alabama with LGBT youth.

 

This essay was previously published on Chick & Dicks a NSFW community of Readers and Writers dedicated to making a change.

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LGBT Youth Homelessness

I was offered the opportunity recently to be one of the first guest posters on the new Chicks and Dicks group blog. It's a blog of readers and writers affectionately known as the Smex Posse, and if you haven't guessed, it's not always SFW.

But here's the thing, it's not just about Smex, it about caring for the community too. In a nutshell, they give a damn and aren't afraid to say it.

So I invite you to stop by, because once they opened their forum to me, I dropped a provocative, no holds barred piece on them about LGBT youth on the streets.

You can read it here, and you can join the posse too.

Fear

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rendered like a stillness

in the eyes

where it flashes

its teeth

a full skeleton

under all we do

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You don't let my conscience sleep

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The title of this post reflects an email I received from a fan after he read The Value Of Rain.

And while I very much appreciated the sentiment behind his words, I never wrote Rain to do anything other than make people think and feel. As one recent reviewer wrote "If you are looking for something light to read, then The Value of Rain isn't for you, but if you want to read a story that will wrench your heart and make you feel something, then give it a go."

And please don't misunderstand, because I enjoy escapist writing as much as anyone else. I'm a massive sci-fi fan and will quickly chomp down a series like a fat greasy cheeseburger, licking my finders and all!

But when atrocities come close to home; when you become witness to suffering that you could never imagine, then a voice must be made, a voice must heard. The Value Of Rain is a voice; the voice of people I knew and of things they suffered.  It's also voice of my own conscience trying to deal with the horrifying sorrow of what they felt comfortable talking with me about.  And yes, several of the characters in the book are/were real people; some of the most humorous and some of the most tragic.  I will leave you to decide for yourself which are real and which are fictional, and will not discuss that further.

And, if for any reason you think that you can deny the barbarity of some of what you read in Rain, then watch the video below, pick up your newspaper, look at the investigations into the youth warehousing programs we call juvenile justice. It's all there; all of it. And that is the fucking tragedy.

The most poignant reminder of just how real Rain is comes from when I, or my readers, must wave potential readers away from it because of all the triggers it contains. (This just happened yesterday, and I sent a quick note thanking that fan for waving someone away from the book.)

I will make no more apologies for those triggers.  I am tired of crying over this suffering, tired that it still exists and more tired of all the excuses I hear about why we continue to tolerate those that perpetuate the myths and the bullshit that add to this suffering.  And if for a moment you believe that the lgbt community is not just as complicit in this tragedy, then… well, we honestly have nothing more to say to each other.  Your conscience is still asleep and these tragedies will continue.

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Matthew Avanton – Illusions

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Illusions by Matthew Avanton

I don't typically do long winded reviews and, quite honestly, you will rarely find a review on my website. I love promoting other authors whom I enjoy, but there are other mediums for that; and well, let's face it, I'm not a professional reviewer (whatever that is) I'm just one finicky ass reader.

One of my biggest gripes with modern writing does not come at the hands of writers, but at the hands of publishers, who have turned great writing into mediocre bullshit by forcing authors to add in fluff and fodder to build up word count and page volume. I cannot even begin to count the number of books I've pushed aside, or simply tossed because of this. Personally I would rather pay an obscene amount of money for a fantastic book than pay a nickle for a ten pound book of  overly descriptive crap. I realize I'm in the minority on that but, with the coming ebook revolution it is my sincere hope that we can get back to publishing great books instead of fodder. So that's my rant…. On to what you're here for.

Illusions took me by surprise. It is a well written, has a wonderful cadence and I immediately fell in love with  the language, the nuance and the inflection of Mr. Avanton's writing.

As some of my own fans know I tend to write with a particular rhythm and will often search out a single word for weeks if I don't like how a word flavors a sentence. It is quite obvious that Mr Avanton was a master at his craft and I found Illusions to an excellent introduction to his work. I highly recommend it and will be looking forward to more.

Illusions was posthumously published and is available  free on Smashwords.  This one link is also the only reference I can find for him anywhere.

I do think you will quite enjoy the book.

 

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Our Youth Deserve Love & Respect

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Guest post by by James Robinson, Director GLBT  Advocacy &  Youth Services

Young people need to know they are loved and that they have our support. 
I believe those of us who have survived into adulthood  have a responsibility to support and encourage youth who are struggling with many of the same issues we faced at their age.  The fact that we understand these issues based on our personal experiences makes us uniquely qualified to provide this critical support.  Our society is in a state of crisis brought about by a basis lack of love and respect for each other.  Simply put, all people deserve love and respect regardless of any of the circumstances our society uses to segregate us into various sub-groups.
Fighting Bigotry and Hatred 
   My heart hurts each time I hear that another young person has committed suicide because they felt they were not important, less than human, sinful, ugly, or alone.  Recently, after working all week dealing with local bullying issues and other concerns shared with me because of my work, I saw online that another young girl only 12 years old committed suicide here in Alabama.  It is suspected that her death was caused by bullying.  When I saw this I broke down, cried, called friends, and looked for personal support because I was tired and angry.  How many of these beautiful young people have to die before we say as a society, "No More!".  The anger I felt was quickly transformed into more resolve to continue the work I started two years ago when I founded GLBT Advocacy & Youth Services in Huntsville, Alabama.  When  the agency was founded there were almost no resources available for our youth in this region of the country.  I am happy to say that we have changed this situation and that we work diligently to provide resources, support groups, and to educate the community on issues affecting our youth.  We advocate for the entire LGBT community by speaking publicly on issues such as HIV infection, homelessness, sexual exploitation of youth, bullying, and drug and alcohol abuse.  We use our voices to share a message of love and acceptance in a region of the country dominated by religious organizations that most often tell our community that we are an abomination.  They tell us God does not love us.  They want us to believe that we are sinners and will end up in a place called Hell.  Needless to say, I do not believe this and take every opportunity given to me to speak against this bigotry and hatred.
In a two week span, how many kids attempt suicide?  
  I want you to understand some of what is shared with me on a regular basis.  Recently I asked approximately 50 teenagers how many of them knew another young person who had been homeless.  I estimate that 75% of these youth raised their hands.  I was shocked even though I probably know more about this subject than the average adult because I try to stay informed as we develop support services.   This did not prepare me for the answer I received to my next question.  I asked them how many knew a young person who had attempted suicide.  I was speechless, which is rare for me, when almost every young person raised their hand!
Just this week I heard a young man share about his attempted suicide; a young lady told me that she was harassed and bullied to the point of leaving public school to be home schooled; a young lady told me online that her mother told her she wished she would kill herself so that she would not live gay and go to Hell, and a mother called me because her daughter was suspended from school for talking about her girlfriend.  This young lady has endured four years of harassment and when she attempted to establish a Gay-Straight Alliance in her school she was denied the same right give to other organizations.  Her mother has tried to work with the school administration for years.  She finally reached out and found our agency and asked for our help.
I am also working with a local Rabbi to address bullying that has been reported in our schools toward Jewish students and students who may be GLBT.  This is just part of what is happening in one small city in our country with one small agency in a two week span not including the support groups we offer and other on-going projects.  I hope you see that there is a tremendous need for the entire community to come together to create a cultural shift toward love and respect instead of bigotry and hate which is thinly veiled behind religious dogma.
What we're doing 
I am proud to be able to say that our agency has a volunteer base composed of Christians, atheists, and pagans, and that we have previously had Jewish and Native American volunteers.  Volunteers are welcome from all walks of life as long as they are people who love our youth and our community.  I  believe this mix of experiences is a vital resource for our youth.  I tell our volunteers that we never know who will walk into one of our groups and who they will connect with on a personal level.  I encourage all of our volunteers to use their experiences and beliefs to ensure that our youth know that we love them and that we are here to support them.  For most of these youth we are the first and only group to share this with them face to face.
    I recently moved into a new phase of my life when I shared a poem I wrote about my history of addiction to meth-amphetamine and became a Spoken Word artist.  Taking this step has helped me shed some of my personal inhibitions when speaking publicly.  I now feel a new energy, a new passion when I speak.   I tell groups that we have a voice and we must use it.  I share that spoken words shared with love & respect heal and that choosing to remain silent can kill.  Those of us in a position to speak publicly must use these opportunities to counter the cruel hurtful messages that our community so often receives.  I encourage you to find your voice either spoken or written and use it to change the world one person at a time. 
I ask you not to give in to the defeatist attitudes and apathy that I often see in our community.  I encourage you to be the miracle you are dreaming of.  Together we are doing great things!
James Robinson, MA Ed.

Executive Director

GLBT Advocacy & Youth Services

www.glbtays.org

NOTE from Brandon: 50% of the proceeds from The Value Of Rain go to GLBT  Advocacy & Youth Services, and now you know why. Connect with them on Twitter or Facebook

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