Sarah Holman's Blog, page 74

10 Things Guys Should do for Girls

There are things that I wish all guys knew and did for girls. Most of this list has come from watching how my Dad treats my Mom. Some of the things he does for her are desired by girls and guys don’t realize it.

Disclaimer: I do not claim to be an expert on the subject. This is just what I have learned.

1. Let us be ladies. Some girls find it hard to accept things like opening doors and other courtesies, but don’t stop. Encourage girls to accept your chivalrous gestures as a way to honor and respect them.

2. Ask for our input. Especially the quite girls ask them what they think about a situation or a plan. You sister that is normally silent or that shy girl at church probably has some ideas, and just needs someone to reach out them. Also, girls are more content to let men lead, if the man first listen.

3. Understand we are emotional. You probably won’t understand us sometimes, probably because we don’t understand ourselves at times. Girls feel as much as they think. Sometimes the way they feel cannot be explained logically.

4. Don’t blow off the hormone thing. When you say to a girl that she is upset, crying, or some other emotion just because of hormones, this does not help. Many of us would love to be able to have control of what we feel when our hormones are shifting, but we don’t. We can only control how we act, and sometimes we cannot do that well. Don’t try to fix us when we are not reasonable, just be there for us.

5. Lead us. Often we are leading because we feel like guys aren’t doing anything. Refer to number two on this list and then take charge and lead as Christ called you to.

6. Be honest (and kind). Girls need honesty from guys even when it hurts them. If you think a dress is immodest, be honest enough to say something (Dads and brothers, this means you). If you don’t know something, just say so. If you feel don’t understand what a girl needs, ask instead of guessing. Do all of this in kindness because girls often need an extra dose of kindness with honesty.

7. Be upfront. This one is mostly for guys outside a girl’s family. Be upfront about what kind of relationship you are looking for. Girls are quick to interpret actions as interest (yes, this is a failing of ours). Being upfront saves a lot of heart-ache. However, make sure your actions line-up with what you are saying. Spending a lot of one-on-one time with a girl after saying you just want to be friends will still give many girls the wrong idea.

8. Don’t expect perfection. We are going to make mistakes because we live in a fallen world. Don’t make girls live up to the standards of your favorite actress, book character, or idea of the perfect girl/mother/sister/wife.

9. Encourage Us. I have watched amazing things happen when guys encourage girls. Girls want affirmation from men. So Dads, brothers, husbands, and friends, when you see a girl standing on principles, consider complementing her. When a girl is taking flack for her convictions, stand up for her.

10. Pray for Us. Pray for the girls in your life every day. Just as you battle with struggles every day, so do we. Never cease to pray for them.

Returning Home

After two weeks of being with my dear friend who has been sick, I am returning home. Here are my goals for the coming week:

Listening to Waltz into the Waves: Part 2

The month of February is a celebration of one of the sweetest gifts God gave us for life's journey: love. We celebrate the love that God gave specifically between me and women. Even though I am not married or in a relationship, I still choose to celebrate this time of year, if nothing else because I am so happy that he brought my parents together.
So this month, I will be sharing a gift my sister Rose made for me for my Birthday last year: an audio version of Waltz into eh Waves. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Click HERE to listen to the second chapter
Find the e-book HERE

Film Friday: Overcome

This is one of those Christian films my sister brought home and I wasn’t sure about. I ended up loving it though (proving once again I should listen to my sister). It may have been about a girl who is into tennis, but it was also a strong story about faith, redemption, and forgiveness. It had a hit of romance (physically it only went as far as a hug) and a dash of peril. Pros: good message, good story, well made. Cons: Weak acting on some of the side character (main actors were great), talk about immoral actions before becoming a believer (making-out, drinking etc. One scene at a drunken party.)

Adventure Between the Pages: Bound by Guilt by C.J. Darlington

Buy it HereAge Appropriate For: 15 and up (mild violence and difficult situations)Best for Ages: 15 -25Description: Roxi Gold feels like a throwaway. Shuttled from one foster home to another for most of her life, she longs for a real family and a place to call home. She’ll do anything to fit in and please her new guardian—even if it’s against the law. Soon she’s traveling the country in an RV stealing rare books from unsuspecting bookstores even as guilt hounds her. Police officer Abby Dawson has witnessed the worst of society, and not just at work. Her high-powered attorney ex-husband has wrested her daughter away from her in a bitter custody battle, and she’s lucky if she sees her daughter at all. The job she once loved has become a chore, the world isn’t any safer, and her life seems to have no purpose. One fateful night a botched robbery changes both Abby’s and Roxi’s lives forever. While Abby searches for justice, Roxi finds herself on the run in the small town of Elk Valley, Colorado. Will the power of forgiveness set them free, or will they both remain bound by guilt?
If you are looking for a book where all the characters are in nice, neat packages, move on to another author. Darlington doesn’t sugar-coat her characters and is honest about pain and struggles without becoming vulgar. Even I, who can be very sensitive, feel like that her books are honest, are a bit gritty- without doing things just for the shock value. It is becoming harder to find books like this, but I think they are some of the most powerful.
I loved Roxi and felt so sorry for her throughout the whole book. Yes, there were a couple of times where I was telling her what she should and shouldn’t do (making my sibling worry even more about my sanity), but she was a lovable character. Abby was a bit harder to love, but she was also an understandable character. The more I read, the more I wondered if Darlington was drawing from people she knew, because each character sparkled in their diversity.
The plot twists kept me on my toes the whole time.  There were a couple of times I was talking aloud saying things like: “No she wouldn’t! That couldn’t happen! Oh, my, it just happened.” Or “Wait! Nooooooo!!” In short, this book really kept my attention.
I think my favorite thing about this book was the message. Unlike a lot of even Christian books, Darlington peppered the story with Christians who were living out their faith and willing to reach out to those who were unlovable. Too many people are so cynical in their writing these days and only have maybe one Christian acting loving and the rest are hypocrites. This book was refreshing and inspiring at the same time. The faith themes were there and so well woven in that they fit seamlessly into the story and characters. Nothing feels forced or overdone.
I highly recommend this book for those who like realistic stories, unpredictable plots, and strong messages of faith.
Was this helpful? Please vote it up on Amazon.

10 Things Girls Should do for Guys

Being a house with a lot of girls, it is easy for us to come down hard on guys and not understand them. However, I think that as girls, we need to be reminded of the things we should do for the guys in our life: fathers, brothers, boyfriends, and husbands.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to be an expert on the subject, this is just what I have learned.
1. Let them be gentlemen. It is easy for us to do things ourselves, but let them and even encourage them to open doors, let you go first in line, and what-not. Even when it would be easier for you do something yourself, letting guys act like gentlemen is important.
2. Defer to them. Let them be the leaders in small and large situations. Many girls get frustrated when guys won’t lead, but they take charge of the situation when they enter the room. There are times for girls to lead (of course), but girls should be looking for ways to defer to the godly men God has placed in their lives.
3. Believe what they say. If a guy says he just wants to be friends, assume that is what he means. If you brother says he is fine, trust that is how he feels. We girls often try to read more into situations, and sometimes there is more. However, let us respect guys by believing what they say.
4. Be careful how you dress. No, you are not responsible for what a guy thinks, but you are responsible for the messages you send.
5. Be Submissive. Submission has become a bad word for girls, but it is what God calls us to. Submission takes different forms, because people and situations are different. However, read your Bible and find out who and how God has called you to submit.
6. Be honest. Guys are not like girls. They don’t pick up on the subtleties as much as girls do. Don’t say you are fine if you are not. Be honest even it is painful.
7. Just tell them. Guys do not get subtle hints most of the time. Don’t frustrate them by expecting them to pick up on them. Just tell them. It is kinder to them and often will save a lot of issues.
8. Don’t expect perfection. Guys are going to make mistakes, because we live in a fallen world. Don’t make them live up to the standards of your favorite actor, book character, or idea of the perfect guy/Dad/brother/husband. 
9. Don’t expect them to understand. They don’t understand some things about girls, because they are different. Don’t expect them to understand hormone shifts and how the girl mind works except on a basic intellectual level.
10. Pray for them. Pray for the guys in your life every day. Just as you battle with struggles every day, so do they. Never cease to pray for them.

Listening to Waltz into the Waves: Part 1

The month of February is a celebration of one of the sweetest gifts God gave us for life's journey: love. We celebrate the love that God gave specifically between me and women. Even though I am not married or in a relationship, I still choose to celebrate this time of year, if nothing else because I am so happy that he brought my parents together.
So this month, I will be sharing a gift my sister Rose made for me for my Birthday last year: an audio version of Waltz into eh Waves. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Click HERE to listen to the first chapter
Find the e-book HERE

Film Friday: The Happiest Millionaire

This is my favorite musical ever. It is funny, poignant and beautiful. The Biddle family loves one another, but have issues. This is one of the few Disney movies where there is both a mother and a father. They love each other and their children. This film primarily is about their daughter and her romance and finding her place in the world. John, their singing butler, is my favorite character.

Pros: Clean, Pro-family, fun songs, funny.

Cons: A few immodest dresses, some romance, and there is one song about flirting.

For Better or for Worse

February is a month that turns many people's thoughts toward love. For married couples, it is a time to celebrate the life and romance they have together. For engaged and dating/courting couples, it is a time to celebrate God bringing that special someone into their lives. For singles... yeah most of the single girls I know try to ignore the fact there is a February 14th or sob their way through it.

What about me? Do I find it a sad time? Not really, but then I am odd. I am very content where God has me at this time in my life. Do I sometimes wish I had a boyfriend or a husband? Yes. So, what does February mean for me? It is different each year. This year it is about For better or for worse.

When life is going great, it is easy to be there for someone. When you agree about things, when you are having fun, it really isn't a challenge to want to be with someone. But what about when you get sick, your feelings get hurt, or when you have been disappointed. That is when it is hard.

Michelle and I have been friends for a few years now. We have been through alot together and in October, I was honored to be in her wedding.

Now, Michelle is having a difficult time in her health and I am spending a few days with her. These are not days filled with giggles, deep conversations, and shopping. This time is filled with tears, constant reminders that this will pass, frustration, and work. However, isn't this what I committed to? As a friend, am I not supposed to be there for her on her good days and her bad days? Maybe I didn't  take a vow, but I made the commitment in my heart.
I know that many of us would like to avoid some of the unpleasant things that come with helping a friend who is going through a hard time. I know from experience how heart-wrenching it is to sit with someone who just lost their young brother, how it hurts to watch someone battle depression, or even just to listen as they talk about a situation that is hurting their heart. It is hard and sometimes I went home and sobbed my heart out afterward. However, it is in going through these things that I have discovered a powerful truth: when you go through hard times together, it makes the bond stronger. 
While not all of us have someone to celebrate the month of romance, but we all have special people in our lives, people that need us to be there for them for better or for worse. Whatever your relationship status is, why don't we use this month to reach out to a friend who is going through one of the worse times. 

For Better or for Worst

February is a month that turns many people's thoughts toward love. For married couples, it is a time to celebrate the life and romance they have together. For engaged and dating/courting couples, it is a time to celebrate God bringing that special someone into their lives. For singles... yeah most of the single girls I know try to ignore the fact there is a February 14th or sob their way through it.

What about me? Do I find it a sad time? Not really, but then I am odd. I am very content where God has me at this time in my life. Do I sometimes wish I had a boyfriend or a husband? Yes. So, what does February mean for me? It is different each year. This year it is about For better or for worse.

When life is going great, it is easy to be there for someone. When you agree about things, when you are having fun, it really isn't a challenge to want to be with someone. But what about when you get sick, your feelings get hurt, or when you have been disappointed. That is when it is hard.

Michelle and I have been friends for a few years now. We have been through alot together and in October, I was honored to be in her wedding.

Now, Michelle is having a difficult time in her health and I am spending a few days with her. These are not days filled with giggles, deep conversations, and shopping. This time is filled with tears, constant reminders that this will pass, frustration, and work. However, isn't this what I committed to? As a friend, am I not supposed to be there for her on her good days and her bad days? maybe I didn't  take a vow, but I made the commitment in my heart
I know that many of us would like to avoid some of the unpleasant things that come with helping a friend who is going through a hard time. I know from experience how heart-wrenching it is to sit with someone who just lost their young brother, how it hurts to watch someone battle depression, or even just to listen as they talk about a situation that is hurting their heart. It is hard and sometimes I went home and sobbed my heart out afterward. However, it is in going through these things that I have discovered a powerful truth: when you go through hard times together, it makes the bond stronger. 
While not all of us have someone to celebrate the month of romance, but we all have special people in our lives, people that need us to be there for them for better or for worse. Whatever your relationship status is, why don't we use this month to reach out to a friend who is going through one of the worse times.