Jeff Goins's Blog, page 76
October 2, 2013
3 Paralyzing Statements That Keep You from Your Best Work
Seth Godin hosted a day-long gathering in Tribeca last summer, one I didn’t attend but heard a lot about because my husband went with my dad and brother-in-law.
They came back to report the day had a simple, two-word theme for attendees: Pick Yourself.
Photo credit: Emily P. Freeman
You already have what you need to move into your world — so move. Contribute. Make art. Stop waiting to be picked.
It sounds right and maybe even easy. Then why are so many of us still waiting to be picked?
There are as many obstacles to showing up in the world as there are people. Here are three paralyzing statements that keep me from my best work and maybe you, too.
“Someone else can do this better.”
Someone else can write better, love better, lead better, speak better, teach better, design better, parent better, or pray better. It doesn’t matter what your art is.
The reality that someone else can do it better often keeps me from wanting to do it at all. It’s a courage stealer and but there is a way to combat it:
Agree.
It might seem counter-intuitive at first, but consider the freedom — Yes, someone else can do it better and they probably already have.
There is nothing to win, so you are free to stop competing with the world.
You don’t have to be the best one saying or living something true. You just have to be yourself.
Consider the impact this constant measuring and weighing is having on your soul. Agree that someone else can do it better. But also agree that doesn’t mean you can’t do it, too.
You may not be the first or the best to say it or live it, but your saying or living it may be the first time someone finally hears.
Make art anyway.
“I’m not ready.”
Maybe you think it isn’t the right time to show up. Maybe you don’t feel ready to write that book, try for a baby, take that job, quit the one you’ve got.
But showing up where you are with what you have is all you can do. You have your two hands, your sick parents, the items on your to-do list.
You have your extra deadlines, your diagnosis, the children at your table. You have been given your life, what you hold in your hands, the ground beneath your feet. You have been asked to show up.
How do I know?
Because you were born.
It’s true, it might not be the right time to do a certain thing, pursue a particular endeavor, or make a final decision. But a lot of times we confuse readiness with courage.
Courage is not the absence of fear. If you wait to feel courageous before you release your art, you might be waiting forever. The more we live from who we most deeply are, the more courage will grow.
“I’m wasting my time.”
It’s hard to pick yourself when you don’t think it’s going to make any difference.
The only reason we would ever call something a waste of time is because we have a certain idea of success and anything short of that idea we label “waste.” Or maybe we are adhering to someone else’s idea of success and we adopt it as our own.
For writers, this might be something like this: My writing is only worth it if I get a book published.
If you are worried that your art is a waste of time, perhaps you need to redefine success in art.
Does someone else believe in you? Has someone been inspired by your art in some way? Perhaps the most important question:
A re you becoming more fully yourself?
There is courage in connection — with your truest self, with the truest self of others, and with God.
If practicing your art brings you closer to this kind of connection, if it allows you to be vulnerable in ways you weren’t able to be before, then your art has not been wasted.
Did this post resonate with you? Check out Emily’s new book, A Million Little Ways on Amazon.
What are the statements keeping you from your best work? What obstacles hold you back from picking yourself? Share in the comments.
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Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
September 28, 2013
The Tension (and Relationship) Between Creating and Consuming
Content is a coin with two sides: creating and consuming.
Often in a community like this, the content is created for people who in turn consume the work and then go create more. It’s self-propagating. But as we know, that’s not always the case.
Photo Credit: the measure of mike via Compfight cc
Sometimes, we err on the side of consuming too much content — checking Facebook one too many times, getting lost in an endless of blog posts an online articles. Or we can be prone to bouts of artistic bingeing.
And if we’re not careful, we can lose sight of why we create and consume in the first place. Yet, it’s in the delicate balance between creating and consuming that we find our sweet spot.
Quality control
Let’s start with a basic assumption: Everyone cares about quality… right?
Our goal is to both create and consume high-quality content. Whether it’s an entertaining blog, a business book, or a funny video, the content we encounter needs to add value — to our lives and the lives of others.
We need quality in both the content we consume as well as what we create, because:
Consuming content educates us. Creating content educates others.
Consuming content encourages us. Creating content encourages others.
The success of this us-and-others relationship lies in the balance of creating and consuming.
Creepy consumption
Let’s be honest. There’s a lot of awesome content out there.
Sure, plenty of garbage is floating around, too. But it’s not that hard to find a gold nugget here or there. The problem is trying to consume all the awesomeness available is a full-time job.
Unfortunately, reading blogs doesn’t pay the bills. (If it did, I’d have more money than Donald Trump.)
If all you do is consume, you become an information glutton. And if all you do is “eat” content and never exercise, you get fat and lazy.
It’s great to absorb information, but you also need to do something with it in order for it to be effective. Otherwise, you’re just another hoarder — and let’s face it: that’s one reality show you do not want to be on.
So what if you’ve got 75 blogs in your RSS reader and a sagging bookshelf?
If all that knowledge crammed in your cranium doesn’t lead to action, what’s the point? If you don’t chew it up and create art for someone else, what difference does it make?
By all means, consume great content. But don’t forget to put down the fork and pick up the pen, paintbrush, or hammer.
Cold creation
Creative people are a varied bunch, but they all have something in common: They actually make stuff.
This creative energy springs from somewhere and like a tank of gas requires a stop at Chevron now and again.
Creating is addictive, and there’s a tendency to lose yourself in the craft. If you only focus on creating, your mind gets full and doesn’t leave room for anyone else.
Your perspective can become myopic, with your thoughts and opinions being the only ones that seem to matter. Your ego inflates, and you alienate the audience you set out to reach.
Work hard, make stuff, and ship it. Just remember to unplug once in awhile, to close the laptop and read a good book, too. Without the challenges issued by other people’s content, your own work will stagnate.
Finding the sweet spot
There isn’t an exact formula to balancing contention creation with consumption.
Balance doesn’t mean a 50/50 split. What you need to do is find which side you tend to lean toward and hop the fence once in a while.
The easiest place to start is to ask yourself two questions:
How much have I created in the last month?
How much have I consumed in the last month?
Input without output leads to constipation. Output without input leads to stagnation.
It’s just that simple.
A final word about content…
This content we’re consuming and creating isn’t limited to blog posts and YouTube videos. Life is content.
We are consuming content created by others all the time. Everyone is making something — with their actions, words, and behavior.
In fact, this may be the most sobering reality of all: Whether we want to or not, we are creating content with every decision we make and every word we speak.
Every piece of communication leaves an impact of some sort. So let’s pay close attention to what goes out and in. And let’s try to make our words count.
Are you strategic on how you balance creating with consuming? Share in the comments.
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Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
September 26, 2013
What It Really Takes to Build Influence
How do you build influence? Is it through a blog? A speaking career? Incessant marketing and conference attendance?
Or is it something else?
Photo credit: Jeff Goins (Yes, took this while driving.) Click here to pin this.
After interviewing a lot of famous people (famous to me, at least), I was pretty proud of myself. I had overcome my fear of meeting new people and was surprised by how many important people were willing to give me the time of day.
Could it really be so simple as just asking? I was blown away. Overconfident and on a success high, I emailed my friend Julien Smith, quite proud of my discovery.
He responded politely but disagreed saying that was not the best way to influence people.
“What is, then?” I asked.
“Meeting people in person,” he said.
Oh yeah. That.
What I learned from famous people
A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be a writer. I set a practice schedule. Told my friends I was now a writer. Even told my wife I hoped to write a book.
But all of that hinged on one important choice: I had to build a platform. Which meant people had to know who I was. And that meant I had to meet people. Like, for real.
For years, I watched friends and strangers succeed in getting published and becoming popular public speakers, all while I remained in obscurity.
I didn’t get it. What did they have that I didn’t? Was it talent? Charisma? Mad DJ skills?
No. It was none of those things. It was something far more simple and difficult.
Relationship. That’s what these influencers had that I didn’t. They knew people, the right people. And those people introduced them to other people. Connection led to more connection.
That’s all a platform really is: a way to connect your message to an audience that cares.
But how could I build one? What might I do to connect with people? I hated the idea of networking and handing out business cards. But maybe there was another way…
Instead of being the smarmy self promoter, constantly selling himself, maybe I could do something different. Maybe I could add value instead of taking it.
How I started building influence
Little by little, I began finding ways to help people: an interview here, a free lunch there. And as I did this, I discovered an important principle about networking and influence:
It’s not who you know. It’s who you help. [Tweet that]
Slowly, my name started to spread, and people began to talk about me. My network grew. I was becoming a person of influence — and it was all due to a service mindset.
Before I knew it, there was an entire community of people telling others about me. It was pretty incredible to watch.
For the longest time, I waited for someone to notice me. I longed to be picked by a publisher. I counted the days until I’d stumble upon the opportunity of a lifetime. But it never happened. Not until I started showing interest in others did anyone show any interest in me.
During all that time of waiting, the answer evaded me. And as I finally watched my dream come true, I realized what I had been missing.
Offline relationship leads to online connection. All this technology is supposed to be means to a greater end. And that end is relationship.
The takeaways
Influence, for me, isn’t about big ideas or huge campaigns. It’s about little conversations. Small discussions and interactions that add up over time.
It’s not about being charismatic or popular. It’s about helping people — using the resources you have to make a difference in others’ lives.
And it’s not about being particularly smart or exceptionally brilliant. It’s just about asking the right questions, being curious enough to care.
If you were to look at the people who made an impact on your life, you would probably see a trend: The most influential people are not the loudest voices or most prominent personalities. They’re just the ones who stick around.
That’s the secret. Influencers keep showing up. They outlast and out-give the rest of the pack. And because they do this, we remember them.
If that’s what influence really is — more of a skill than a gift — then it’s something we all can practice.
And that wouldn’t be so bad, would it? More people making others matter? Being helpful and generous and not giving up until they’ve served someone?
No, I don’t think that would be too bad at all.
(By the way, I’m be speaking at the Influence Conference this weekend in Indianapolis. If you’re going to be there or are in the area, I would love to try to meet up. Leave a comment or send me an email.)
What are some traits of influencers you appreciate? Share in the comments.
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Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
September 24, 2013
The First Step to Making a Difference: Get Out of Bed
Some days, making a difference begins with something as simple as getting out of bed. It means getting up and doing the work that matters. And this always starts slowly and intentionally.
Photo credit: Meredith Farmer (Creative Commons)
This morning, I didn’t want to get up. My mind was tired and my body exhausted. Having spent the last several weeks training for a half marathon, I just wanted to “phone it in.”
Something inside me said I just couldn’t do it.
The voice that holds us back
I’ve heard that voice before.
Every morning, I hear it. That soft but persistent whisper, telling me to give up before I begin. It says I’m not good enough. It tells me that another hour in bed won’t hurt a bit.
This voice is familiar; it speaks rationally and in a recognizable tone. As a result, I often believe it, entertaining whatever propositions it makes. But deep down, I know it’s a liar.
Just this morning, I heard it again. But this time, I refused to believe it. In spite of how I felt, I got up, disciplined myself to show up even though I didn’t feel like it.
And you know what? I survived.
Not only that, I made something that mattered — at least in some small way. All because I kicked up the sheets, planted my feet on the floor, and got to work.
You can do this, too. Despite how little you want to or how drained you feel, you can get started doing work that matters. All it takes is the will to show up, the strength to press in, and the perseverance to continue.
Sometimes, making a difference is just that simple. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it’s doable.
Where greatness comes from
Here’s what I know:
No great leader achieved greatness by sleeping in.
No successful general was renowned for slacking off.
No timeless artist was made famous by her sloth.
Certainly, rest is important, but there is a difference between slowing down and stalling. Don’t mistake the need to take life slowly with a procrastination habit.
Making a difference always comes down to momentum.
When we’re beginning, our greatest enemy is inertia. What holds us back is our lack of forward motion.
So what is it must you do to get started? Move.
How I deal with this
This is especially difficult for me, as a writer. By nature, I’m an emotional creature: a sensitive, fickle artist full of complicated emotions.
Feelings are my greatest source of inspiration. But they are also my biggest distraction and cause for creative block.
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how you feel. You just need to do it. (Insert Nike swoosh here.) Yes, passion is important. So is recognizing burnout and realizing when you’re just plain empty.
But inspiration often hides in the guise of hard work.
Many times, I’ve found this to be true. Epiphanies come, if they come at all, not through lightning-bolt moments of illumination, but in the midst of deliberate action.
There is unparalleled fruit that comes from the discipline of doing what you know you’re made to do. Even if it’s hard. But to begin, you must get out of bed and get to work.
What gets you up in the morning? Share in the comments.
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Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
September 20, 2013
Rules, Discipline, and the Paradox of Creativity
For an artist, rules are tricky. In creative work, they can be your best friend or worst enemy. They keep us safe from going off the “deep end” but can also restrict our passions.
So how do we use these regulations for good?
Photo credit: Jeff Goins
My whole life, I’ve struggled with rules. To be disciplined without becoming legalistic. To be focused without giving in to stagnancy. To have structure without being ruled by it.
In the end, I’ve learned that rules have a place in our lives, and without discipline, our best work never gets done. So here are four lessons I’ve learned about this paradox of creativity:
Discipline is an artist’s ally. The War of Art and just about every writer’s memoir I’ve ever read teaches us a lesson: creativity must be harnessed. But discipline devoid of passion is just rote rule-keeping.
Following the rules is not the same as discipline. Rules are an means to discipline. They are a tool for creation.
Rules aren’t necessarily bad. They’re guidelines that help us achieve a specific end. In some cases, they keep us from doing really stupid things. But rules cease to serve their purpose when the end is self-preservation. When you find yourself keeping the rules for the sake of compliance, you’re on a slippery slope towards unproductive, uncreative behavior.
There comes a point when the rules must be broken. When you find yourself getting comfortable, you must disrupt routine and violate the status quo that you’ve created.
At some point in every artist’s life, you see how rules must be broken and the system bucked in order for the art to be preserved.
You see this in Picasso’s career when he moves from realism to cubism.
You see it with the emergence of jazz in the 20th century, proceeded by more and more musicians feeling discontented with the limitations of popular music.
And you see it with writers like Faulkner who intentionally break the rules of syntax to make a point.
This is the paradox of any creative discipline. The rules that form the framework for expression can become the very prison from which you must escape.
You cannot do this unintentionally or take it lightly. But if you are going to make meaningful work, at some point you MUST break the rules. Nobody ever left a legacy by maintaining the status quo.
And at the same time, you need structure in your life — a frame for your painting, a deadline for your manuscript. Otherwise, the only thing you’ll ever do is dream.
Here’s I’m trying to say: Ultimately, the art trumps the discipline. Rules may guide you and structure may steer you, but don’t be surprised if the creation process is still an awful, bloody mess. That’s often what it’s like when you’re giving birth: painful and hard and a little confusing.
But when you’re done, you’ll have something beautiful and alive. And you will hopefully be able to say, “It was worth it.”
How do you use discipline to create — without becoming a slave to the rules? Share in the comments.
You just finished reading Rules, Discipline, and the Paradox of Creativity! Consider leaving a comment!
Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
September 13, 2013
The In-Between is Making Waves: Guest Posts, Interviews, Reflections, & More!
My new book, The In-Between, has been out a month and has already started receiving rave reviews. I’m both excited and a little nervous to hear how it’s connecting with readers. So far, so good (over 100 4- and 5-star reviews on Amazon!).
The In-Between by Jeff Goins (that’s me!)
Here are a few recent reviews:
Sometimes we focus on the next big thing in our lives that we often miss the best moments which are right in front of us. I know I am guilty of this, which is why this book deeply resonates with me. I definitely wrestle with the in-between moments in my life.
—Pilar
In his book, Jeff inspires us all to see our personal waiting periods in a new light. No matter your age or season of life, there are things you have to wait for. The In-Between takes us on a journey through various seasons of Jeff’s life, including his mission travels, meeting his wife, and becoming a father. So much wisdom packed in such a young man. Through his own life lessons, Jeff encourages us to slow down, let go, and be grateful.
—Kim
What a great perspective and set of lessons from this bright young writer. And I wish I had known about the In-Between when I was in my 20′s. I am 60 now, and learned some of this myself along the way, but whatever your age, you will find refreshment and companionship as you walk through Jeff’s words. What I know now, as I enter the best years, is that there are many such In-Between periods in life, and they are times to savor, not stew, and as you live in and for the moment, you fill up and become fulfilled, better able to ride and enjoy the next wave. Thanks Jeff, for stepping out and pursuing your gift. Can’t wait for the next book that is brewing.
—Gary
This book is set at a slower pace from that of my previous work, Wrecked, so it’s interesting to see the impact it’s having.
Stories tend to work more slowly but also more deeply into the hearts of readers, which was why I decided to write the book as a memoir. I wanted to make a point using story, and the message required me to think more creatively than a typical nonfiction advice book.
So I want to share with you some more thoughts from yours truly as well as some fascinating reflections and reviews from readers (including one in Albanian!).
Here is a collection of guest posts, interviews, and reviews of the book, as well as some unique explanations of what it means to embrace the wait and live in the in-between. Enjoy!
Guest posts (mine)
What Good Memoir Can Teach You About Copywriting [Copyblogger]
How to Pay Attention to the Beauty in Front of You [The Nester]
How Stuff Robs Us of Those We Love the Most [Becoming Minimalist]
3 Rules to Write World Changing Memoir [The Write Practice]
How Doing Nothing Makes You More Creative [Accidental Creative]
Interviews & podcasts
Allison Vesterfelt: The In-Between
Gospel eBooks: Hang Out with an Author — Jeff Goins
Kris Camealy: Interview with Jeff Goins
The Art of Giving Show: The In-Between
Scott McClellan: Jeff Goins on the In-Between
Chris Brogan: Jeff Goins on Writing & What to Do in Between
Tammy Helfrich: Jeff Goins on Enjoying the In-Between
BibleDude: A Conversation with Jeff Goins
Karen Ehman: Embrace the Wait with Jeff Goins
Proverbs 31: Embrace the Wait Devotional
Smart Passive Income: Book Marketing with Jeff Goins
Beyond the To Do List: Calling, Creativity, and The In-Between
Starve the Doubts: The In-Between
Grace Biskie: The In-Between — My Interview with Jeff Goins
Reviews & reflections
Allan Dubon: FF: The In-Between
Chris Zweifel: A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words: The Importance of Vision
Sarah Elisabeth: Healing in the In-Between Moments
KC Procter: In Between the In-Between
From this Kitchen Table: While I Wait
A Garden for Sara: The Waiting Assignment
Meredith Sings: The In-Between of Maine and Nashville
Ralph Rickenbach: The Art of Waiting
Samantha Smith: Life’s Waiting Moments to Cherish
Christy Mosburg: The Ups and the Downs
Chrissine Rios: In a Hurry?
Nolan Recker: Old Writing, New Thoughts
Alycia Morales: Get Me Out of Here!
Deanna Brown: Wait No More
Giselle Hudson: Lessons from a Dusty Fan
Rachel Miller: Valleys, Holding Patterns, and The In-Between
Linda Belcher: A letter to a new friend
Michael Hyatt: Learning to Embrace the In-Between
Kyle Reed: Jesus Was Inefficient
Michael Nichols: After 40 Years, I Have One Regret
Mark Oestreicher: The In-Between
The Cat Who Writes: My Life is Lived in “The In-Between”
Agustin Prenga: Momentet e ndermjetme [in Albanian]
Your chance to participate
Whether or not you’ve read the book (although, I encourage you to pick it up), I’d love to hear how this idea of embracing the wait has changed your life in some way. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments (blog links, too!).
Oh, and if you haven’t yet participated in the Slow Down Challenge, check it out.
(By the way, if you haven’t yet picked up a copy of The In-Between yet, you can see where it’s available here. As of right now, Amazon has it available for a steal of a deal at 40% off.)
What do you think of the in-between (the book and/or the idea)? Share in the comments.
You just finished reading The In-Between is Making Waves: Guest Posts, Interviews, Reflections, & More!! Consider leaving a comment!
Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
September 12, 2013
Why Building Your Own Platform Is Essential
It seems everyone is talking about platform these days. Musicians. Writers. Artists. With blogs and self-publishing and recording software, this has never been easier.
Photo credit: William Warby (Creative Commons)
If you want to be heard by hundreds or even thousands, you really have no excuse. Nothing’s holding you back. But if building a platform is so accessible, why aren’t more people doing it? Why aren’t people sharing their art?
Maybe it’s not for a lack of resources. Maybe it’s lack of understanding — how to use the tools they’ve been given. Maybe you can relate.
First, let’s define our terms.
What is a platform?
It’s what it sounds like:
A platform is a “stage” that gives you and your message leverage and visibility.
It’s how you make your work matter, how you change lives.
In the olden days, platforms were easy to identify:
If you were a musician, it was a record deal.
If you were an author, it was a book contract.
If you were an entrepreneur, it was a connection with a venture capitalist.
But nowadays, with blogs and Twitter and instant access to the world with one click of a mouse, it’s harder to tell. Now that anyone can build a platform for free, what’s the point?
Why build a platform?
There are some misconceptions about the word “platform.” Some dismiss it as ego-driven aspirations spawned by an obsession with celebrity.
Certainly, there’s some of that going on in our culture. But that’s not all the word means.
Platform is inevitable.
Whatever you want to do in the world, you need influence to make your voice count. Even a homemaker or schoolteacher needs authority to lead. And that has to come from somewhere, right?
In the simplest terms, a platform is permission. It’s the right to speak to a group about a certain topic. And there’s nothing necessarily wrong with wanting that.
If you have something worth saying, you want people to hear it. A platform amplifies and legitimizes your message. It gives you authority to influence.
For example, if you were an opera singer, where you sang your aria would be as significant as how you delivered it. Singing it in a coffee shop versus a packed auditorium would undoubtedly affect the impact.
The same is true for your work and message.
Any responsible communicator knows the importance of platform. It extends your reach and magnifies your voice. All so that you can make the most difference.
How to build a platform
There are three important aspects to building a platform; they are:
Gain experience
Demonstrate competency
Generate buzz
The last one is the hardest; the other two just take practice. If you’re just getting started with your dream — whether it be writing or dancing — this is important.
You’ve got to get good.
Before you launch your marketing campaign, spend some time practicing. And thank God that you don’t have a huge platform yet; your lack of influence allows you to fail with grace (and little public attention).
After you get good, you need to demonstrate that you’re good. This can be a demo for your band or an essay for your writing. You’ve got to have “something to show them.”
Knowing the right people isn’t enough; you need to have done the work, so that when an opportunity presents itself, you’re ready.
And then comes the hard part: networking.
Platform is, essentially, people. It’s human beings giving credence to your art. How does this happen? Through influence. Which happens through relationship. And this is the difficult work of “knocking on doors.”
The best (and only) way I know how to build meaningful relationships is by networking — not the sleazy, let’s-exchange-business-cards kind, but the let-me-do-a-favor-for-you kind.
If you do this enough, you’ll eventually win friends, fans, and followers. You might even earn a patron or two.
At this point, you’re ready to build your platform. You’ll still need to decide what type of platform you want to build (which is another conversation). For now, suffice to say that if you have something to say, get a platform. It’s not egotistical. It’s necessary making change in the world.
Without one, you’re just another voice in a crowd of noise.
Take the next step in building your platform, and come see me speak at the Platform Conference in November. Use the code GOINS to save $150 off any ticket. Register before this Sunday (9/15), and save an additional $100. Find out more here.
What do you think? Is building a platform essential? Share your thoughts in the comments.
You just finished reading Why Building Your Own Platform Is Essential! Consider leaving a comment!
Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
September 10, 2013
We Don’t Know How Powerful Our Story Is… Until We Share It
I wrote something but was unsure if anyone would like it. Whether it would resonate or connect with anyone but maybe a few readers was doubtful. But still, I felt called to write it.
Photo Credit: Gibson Claire McGuire Regester via Compfight cc
So I wrote. And wrote. And wrote some more.
I wrote until I was done writing, which ended up being a longer-than-average, super in-depth article — something I was sure folks would skim over.
Still, I needed to write the piece. So I sent it off to a blog I had guest posted on before, thinking it might connect with their audience. And they published it, which was nice.
Thinking that was the end of it, I moved on. But then the comments began to pour in. People said things like:
“This is one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever read.”
“This was just what I needed to hear today. Thank you!”
Wow! This is so beautiful… it made me cry!”
All that… from a story? And one I’ve told a hundred different times at that. Interesting.
All I did was do share my experience and the lessons I learned. And somehow, it resonated with readers at a deep level. Maybe that’s all it takes to inspire: simply, the courage to do and the generosity to share.
You see, we often complicate this process of pursuing our dream and doing meaningful work in the world. But inspiration, at its core, is a generous, vulnerable act. It requires you to share, to give in ways that are uncomfortable.
If you’re not putting yourself out there, somehow risking rejection, you aren’t really inspiring. You’re performing.
So what would it look like for you to truly inspire today? If you need a few practical takeaways, here’s how it boils down:
Do what you’re called to do — even if you have no idea how to succeed (because passion is contagious).
Tell your story (because you never know whom it might inspire).
Share what you learn (because this is how we help others).
To read the original story I wrote, check out: How I Stopped Waiting to Become a Writer, Quit My Job, & Launched My Dream
What could sharing your story mean? Have you ever experienced anything like this? Share in the comments.
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September 5, 2013
The Chase Is the Reward
Have you ever felt like you did everything right — followed all the rules, took all the right turns, made all the difficult decisions a person is supposed to make — only to get the opposite of what you wanted?
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Maybe you built a successful business that was taken down by someone else’s stupid mistake. Maybe you bent over backwards to hold your marriage or dating relationship together, and it still fell apart.
Maybe you got the degree but still couldn’t find a job. Maybe you studied and studied and studied (and studied) for that test, but thanks to a few rogue questions, you didn’t get a good grade.
I don’t know about you, but when these kinds of things happen to me, I always feel so cheated.
A few years ago, I started to feel like this was the story of my whole life. I had gone to graduate school, gotten a great job, and was shopping for condos in my favorite neighborhood in my hometown of Portland, Oregon.
But despite the fact that I was keeping up with what everyone told me I was “supposed” to do, I felt really unsettled. Something felt wrong.
My life felt like it was full of stuff but empty of passions and dreams and things I really wanted to chase after.
So, I decided to change directions…
I had always wanted to quit my job and travel to all 50 states to write a book about the experience, and I knew that if I didn’t take the opportunity right now, it probably wouldn’t ever happen.
So I decided to sell everything I owned, move into my Subaru Legacy and start driving.
It was a huge sacrifice, and it took some finagling to get my family and friends on board, but I was convinced that this is what I needed to do if I was ever going to achieve my dream of writing a book someday.
The problem was, two years later I had given up everything and still didn’t have the thing I really wanted — my book. The experience left me wondering: What was the point?
If we aren’t going to get what we want out of life, no matter how hard we work, what’s the point of working so hard?
If we’ll never achieve our dreams, no matter how much stuff we give up, why give up our stuff? After all, if we’re going to be without our dream, we might as well have a nice couch… right?
I wrestled with these questions for a long time before I finally came to the answer that changed my whole life. This answer has given me freedom to let go of everything and chase my dreams with focus and passion. Here it is:
The chase is the reward.
By that I mean, when you set out into the world to chase what really matters to you, something amazing happens. It doesn’t matter what you’re chasing or if you achieve it or not.
Because what you have at the end of the journey is the most valuable thing you will ever own. It is something that can’t be measured or stolen, something that can’t be misplaced. When you do what you know is right and chase what you really want, you have your reward.
You own it. It’s yours. The chase is the reward.
The reward is the character you gain
I heard it said once that we should worry more about our character than our reputation. I think that’s true.
When we chase what matters, our reputations might be compromised (you do crazy things when you’re chasing a dream and everyone has an opinion), but your character is bolstered.
Chasing a dream teaches you about hard work, commitment, and patience in a way you can’t learn from reading a book. This is on-the-job training. Even if you don’t ever achieve what you set out to do, when you get to the end of the journey, you have something even more valuable.
You have become the best version of you that has ever existed.
The reward is wisdom
People ask me all the time to share the wisdom I have with them about the online publishing world or about writing a book. Without fail, my thought is always, “What do I know?”
But then, as soon as we get to talking, I realize I can answer many of their questions.
This isn’t because I’m smarter than anyone else or because I’ve read a bunch of books (although I’ve done that, too). Most of the wisdom I have comes from the path I’ve walked.
I went on the journey. And the wisdom I gained in the process happened quietly and discreetly, just a little each day until it added up to something really valuable. And now I have it forever.
The reward is compassion and empathy
When you do something really hard, it changes you forever. You become less critical of people who mess up or make a fool of themselves. Because when you’re doing something hard, you mess up and make a fool of yourself all the time.
I’ve never messed up more than when I was chasing my dream of writing a book. But now, when other writers make the same mistakes I made, I can identify with them rather than judge them.
Empathy is the fuel that keeps relationships running. It can make or break a business, your friendships, or even your marriage. And when you chase something you care about you get it in droves, and it can’t ever be taken from you.
The reward is greater perspective
When I left my hometown of Portland and traveled to all 50 states, I met people, saw things, and gained experiences I never would have if I’d stayed home.
Those experiences broadened my understanding of the world and of myself and opened up new ideas and opportunities for me. This is true both for all things.
When you “leave home” (whatever that looks like for you) to chase what really matters to you, there is no way your perspective can stay the same.
You’ll see new things, meet new people and gain new experiences. Those experiences will change you; and that change is unspeakably rewarding.
When you look back on the path you’ve traveled outside of your comfort zone, you’ll see the perspective you’ve gained.
The reward is strength to keep going
I like to think of this as a workout or climb up a mountain. Each day you do a small part. Run a few laps. Take a few steps. Just one at a time.
You might push yourself a little or even a lot. But for the most part, you just do the task at hand. And before you know it, you look back and can see how far you’ve come.
You’re stronger than you were before. You’re higher on the mountain.
The same is true when we chase what really matters to us. What happens on a day-to-day basis might not feel very rewarding by itself. It’s just a few small steps up a very large mountain.
But over time, it adds up to something important. And before we know it, we look back, and catch a glimpse of the view. And that’s exactly the motivation we need to keep going.
If you’re interested in reading more about Ally’s story, check out her newly-released book called Packing Light: Thoughts on Living Life with Less Baggage. It’s available anywhere books are sold.
How else are you finding that the chase is the reward? Share in the comments.
You just finished reading The Chase Is the Reward! Consider leaving a comment!
Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
September 4, 2013
Success Starts in the Mind (But Doesn’t End There)
I’ve written before that actions matter more than dreams — and I meant it. But there is a power to your thought life that we sometimes overlook.
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What if there was a way to think your way into success, a way of turning ideas into reality? Maybe it takes more than creativity. Maybe your mindset matters more than you think but only when backed up by intention.
And if that’s true, maybe there’s a process to follow…
It begins in the mind
What we think about when we are free to think about what we will — that is what we are or will soon become.
—A.W. Tozer
I cannot simply will myself to become a best-selling author or a world-class entrepreneur. I have to work at it, too. Everyone knows that.
But there is a step before any visible success that most people overlook. It goes beyond dreams and ideas and is what ultimately leads to meaningful action.
You must visualize what you want before you can get it.
I know this runs the risk of sounding esoteric, but hear me out. So much of what matters in life involves faith:
We trust friends with our deepest secrets.
We put our kids to bed, believing they’ll wake up safe and sound in the morning.
We hope a tragedy will turn out for good — somehow.
This is where all great endeavors begin: in the mind. With faith-filled thoughts that lead to action. The thinking initiates the dream, but faith causes you to take that first, uncertain step.
Then you must commit
It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.
—Zig Ziglar
This is the place where most people fail, myself included.
We get a great idea, think about it awhile, and then move on. Or we take the first step, maybe even a few, and then get distracted. And we move on or forget what we wanted in the first place.
The point at which we make a difference is not during a brainstorming session; it’s when we step out of the board room. When we decide to act and then start moving. Not recklessly, but intentionally.
All great things become great when we act, and not a moment before. The only way ideas take off is with a decision, a choice that costs you something.
Faith without works is dead, and dreams without action are just fantasies.
You were meant for more than that. You were made to do great things, and that means at some point, you must not only decide to act but commit to a plan of action.
And it gathers momentum
If I find something I like, I’ll chase it and see what comes out the other side. Once a song gets momentum and gets away from you, that’s a good sign.
—Dave Matthews
Once we decide, we have to move. To sign up for class, board the plane, or quit that job. This is the scariest part, but if the first two steps are satisfied, the third comes almost naturally.
But if the laws of physics teach us anything, they should tell us that once something is set in motion, it wants to remain in motion. Which means that one step leads to another. And another.
The hard part, though, is inertia. Objects at rest want to stay at rest. So we have to exert a lot of force and energy on those objections, those projects that could be great if only they had a chance to succeed.
So the first step is, in fact, just the beginning — as it should be. But what’s the difference between a bunch of empty starts and stuff that actually takes off?
Momentum. It’s the reason why successful people continue to succeed and why failures keep failing.
How do you overcome inertia and set into motion the law of momentum? Focus intensely on one project and don’t let up or move on until it takes on a life of its own. Do this enough, and you’ll create a whole portfolio of success.
Let’s put it all together…
If you’re like me, you need things broken down occasionally. So here is a series of three steps you can practice over the next week:
Cultivate a habit of positive thinking. Pay attention to your thought life and look for ways you might be sabotaging yourself before you begin. Cut out of your vocabulary (both internal and external) any negative language that doesn’t encourage an attitude of faith. Healthy skepticism is find; perpetual self-doubt is not.
Commit more. Let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no. Follow through on what you say you’re going to do, and stop making empty promises. Teach yourself how to be a person of integrity, even if it hurts (and it might).
Work harder than you’re used to. Do what you do, and do it well — without cutting corners or selling yourself short. This is how discipline is built: like a muscle, stretching more and more each time you exercise it.
Try these three habits for a week, then a month. And once you’ve done it that long, look back at what you’ve accomplished. If you’re pleased with the results, why not keep going?
If you’re looking for a resource to help you, check out The Strangest Secret (affiliate link) by Early Nightingale (you can listen to it for free on YouTube).
Where does success start for you? Is there a process you follow? Share in the comments.
You just finished reading Success Starts in the Mind (But Doesn't End There)! Consider leaving a comment!
Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book.
