Jeff Goins's Blog, page 77

Life Feeds Your Words

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Michelle DeRusha, a Massachusetts native who moved to Nebraska in 2001. You can connect with her on her website, Facebook, and Twitter.

The day my agent suggested I concentrate on three areas — writing, building a platform and strengthening my social media presence — I hung up the phone, determined.

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That was the day I stripped what I considered all extraneous activity from my life.

I resigned from my book club. I stopped running. I told friends I was too busy to meet for margaritas.

The garden withered. The stack of paperbacks on my nightstand sat untouched beneath a layer of dust.

My relentless focus on writing, social media and platform-building produced results. I finished writing one book and started another, launched a newspaper column, published five blog posts a week and grew my Twitter following. Google Analytics tracked a slow but steady increase in visitors to my blog.

I was pleased — until, that is, I suddenly had nothing to say.

Fingers poised over the keyboard, I stared at the blank screen, not just for an hour or a day, but for more than two weeks, panicked. I simply had nothing to write about.

The problem? I’d stopped living. And living feeds writing.

When he was writing Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez would awaken at 6 a.m., read for two hours and then write for five hours.

Marquez spent the afternoon at the beach with his wife and friends, and after sundown, he walked the city streets, talking to strangers and meeting with friends. The next morning he’d weave bits of those conversations and experiences into his writing.

We can learn a lot from Marquez’s routine. Sure, he spent a lot of time writing, but he also spent at least an equal amount of time living. Similarly, what I learned the hard way during my creative drought was this:

Living feeds writing… not the other way around. [Tweet that]

Here are a few easy strategies that have helped to fuel my creativity:

Exercise

It’s the first activity on the chopping block when I’m busy, yet exercise is the activity most likely to produce good ideas, usually when I least expect it. Often I’ll dash into the house after a jog, grab a scrap of paper and, still sweating, start scrawling.

Socialize

I try not to clear my entire social calendar, even when I’m on deadline. Margins are good when you’re a writer, but living like a monk with no human contact is not. Conversation fuels creativity.

Use Your Hands

I dedicate an hour or so each week to taking photographs, usually in my own backyard or neighborhood. I also like to weed the garden and paint walls and trim in my house. Focusing on a creative project or even a repetitive task helps to loosen the brain tangles and opens my mind to new ideas.

Step Out of the Box

Occasionally, I try a new “artistic” experience. A few weeks ago I attended a symphony concert for the first time in my life. I jotted notes on the back of the program during the performance and later wrote a newspaper column about it.

I’m not typically a classical music fan, but something about witnessing the energy and enthusiasm of the conductor and the musicians prompted a burst of inspiration.

The fact is, most of us probably don’t have the leisure to spend every afternoon lounging at the beach and every evening out on the town like Marquez.

But we can use simple, everyday experiences to feed our lives… and ultimately, our words.

Question: What tactics do you use to get your creative energy flowing again? Share in the comments.

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Get Rid of Writer’s Block Once and for All

Imagine this scenario:

You sit down at your desk, ready to write something, anything. You feel inspired. The coffee is steaming and the music blaring. It’s time to begin.

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You take a deep breath, say a prayer, maybe even light a candle or two. And then you place your fingers on the keys and…. nothing happens.

No words, no ideas, no storylines. Nada.

You clear your throat, turn up the music, crack your knuckles, and try again.

And still — you’ve got nothing.

You scream, you cry, make a big scene for nobody to see or hear, but the problem persists.

You, friend, are officially BLOCKED. Stopped up. Held back. Resisted.

Sucks, don’t it?

For years, this plight of writer’s block has kept many a writer from creating the work their hearts so desired. And like sheep, we all have been led astray, diverted into fields of dormancy and inactivity.

That ends today.

It’s time to vanquish this foe, that villain who has stolen our creativity for far too long. It’s time to slay the dragon once and for all.

The secret solution to defeating writer’s block

The weapon we wield against our common enemy is a solution so simple and crazy I’m sure it has never crossed your mind. It sure didn’t cross mine, not for many years.

It’s the last thing you’d ever think of, but I promise you it works like a charm every time.

So what is this simple solution, this mysterious means of overcoming writer’s block? What is the answer to our greatest creative battles and struggles?

It’s the one thing you don’t want to do, the one thing you think you can’t do — but I promise you can. Here it is:

WRITE SOMETHING.

Anything at all. All bets are off. No rules or limitations. Just go for it. My favorite beginner sentence looks something like this:

asdfk jkle jmnnasdcjk lxlxcjv.

What’s that, you say? Those aren’t real words? So what! Once I start moving my fingers, I soon find the direction in which I want to go.

The hard part is getting started, not cleaning up the mess. You can always go back and edit the chaos, always refine a reckless combination of words.

It’s the blank page with which we are at battle, the empty canvas with which we wage war.

Before too long, after a few minutes of nonsensical typing, I find I’m no longer writing gobbledy-gook. Instead, I am crafting real, intelligible words and phrases, even actual sentences.

And it all began with a few ridiculous pecks at the keyboard.

Why you won’t do this

Too simple, you say? Too easy? Well, who says writing has to be hard?

Who says work has to be so serious? Maybe what you need is a silly strategy to get started, something strange to get you unstuck. Maybe that’s just the jarring you require.

For me, it works almost every time.

You aren’t blocked because you don’t have any ideas. You’re blocked because you’re a perfectionist. None of the ideas seem good enough; nothing feels quite brilliant enough to become reality. So you sit, stuck at your desk, waiting for something better to come.

But what if it never did? What if your next idea was the best one you will ever have? You would have to capture it… right? Exactly.

We aren’t asking you to paint the Mona Lisa here. You just need to write a first draft, a really bad one, one that will totally suck but will be something you can build upon later.

That’s what it means to be a writer. And that’s where great pieces of art come from: in the seemingly ordinary and mundane and not-quite-perfect.

So here’s your assignment:

Start typing, trusting the words will come. Let the imaginary words flow; just get those fingers moving.
Embrace the freedom you feel when you do this, that sense of lightness that liberates you from the tyranny of your own perfectionism.
Write something terrible now, something so bad you will have to make it better. And do it before that more reasonable version of yourself reappears.

What’re you waiting for? This is the best opportunity you will ever have to be creative. Better get stared. And feel free to share your thoughts and even your work below.

Can you relate to this way of getting rid of writers’ block? Share in the comments.

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Shut Up, I’m Writing!

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Josh Irby. Josh is a writer and author of Meeting Miss Irby . He lives in Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina with his wife and three children where they help university students tell better stories with their lives. Follow him on twitter @sarajevojosh or his blog.

My life is noisy. With three small children and a fourth having just arrived, it’s hard to find a quiet place to think at home.

At work, I lead a team of 12 people. There are always questions to answer, teammates to encourage, problems to solve. Often, writing is drowned out by the noise. Sometimes I just want to shout,

Shut up! I’m writing!

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But recently, I’ve realized these external voices are not the problem. They are not the greatest threat to my writing. There are three voices that will drown out my writing if I don’t control them — and they all live inside my head.

The Critic

The Critic sits in a high back chair somewhere in my subconscious immaculately dressed and flipping through a classic novel. I can tell by his smug smile that he has high standards.

Nothing is ever quite good enough for him, and he’s proud of the fact.

He knows that he is the secret to my creative success. His ability to distinguish between good and bad writing is what makes my voice unique.

Without the Critic, my words would blend into the noise of our information age. He gives my writing voice an edge. But he is also my worst enemy.

I sit at my desk, fingers resting on the keys.  He leans forward in his chair, straightens his double Windsor, and stairs up at me under lowered eyebrows. As I type, he whispers:

“Not good enough.”
“Are you sure you want to say it that way.”
“Tired and overused.”
“That sucks!”

I hit the backspace and feel my fingers tense. An hour later, I’m still staring at a blank page. And a blank page is a writer’s kryptonite.

How to silence the Critic

You have to be straightforward and clear with the Critic. Thank him for all he contributes to your creative voice. Then tell him to shut up.

He is not needed right now. He will have his opportunity to tear your work to pieces in time — just not now. For the time being, he can shut up and go back to his novel.

The Cynic

It’s noon, and the Cynic is snoring on the couch. He’s wearing undersized jeans and oversized headphones. The music is loud. He says he turns it up to drown out the stupid things people say.

He wakes up and sees me staring at the blank page on my computer.

“Did you check your blog views for yesterday?” he asks. “Pretty low. This month is about half of last month.”

I try not to listen, but his words fall heavy. He sits up and pretends not to watch. I type.

“You know that no one’s listening, right?” he mutters under his breath.

My fingers move over the keyboard. Suddenly, a sentence forms on the page. It feels right. I read back over it and my blood pumps harder. It’s good!

From the couch I hear a sarcastic groan, “Wow, that’s an original sentence! You’re doing a great Jeff Goins imitation.”

Backspace. Blank page. Kryptonite.

I think of all the other things I could do with my time. I wonder if the world really needs another writer. I consider quitting.

The Cynic smirks and lies back down.

How to silence the Cynic

Unlike the Critic, the Cynic contributes nothing to your writing. He’s a freeloader and nuisance. One day, when he’s at the store, pack up all his things and leave them in the front yard. When he comes back, he will get the point.

Oh, and leave him a note:

Cynicism is easy. Creativity is hard. I choose to create. So, shut up, I’m writing.

The Doubter

The Doubter sits at the kitchen table, her wrinkled hands clasped together and gray hair tightly wound in a bun. She stares at me with worried eyes, shifting in her wooden chair.

I have finally begun to fill my blank page and it feels good. There is no thrill like an idea coming together into a clear message. I read back over the first draft with excitement.

A shaky voice drifts from the kitchen, “What are you working on?”

I don’t even look up from my work. I am zeroed in. “My book.”

“Oh honey, I know you really want to publish a book. You know I love your writing, but do you think anyone will publish it? I mean, the publishing industry these days…” Her voice fades.

I type.

“Maybe you should set your goals a little lower. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. You know, your Aunt Jean tried to publish and you remember what happened to her.”

I squint my eyes and try to focus. She’s getting to me.

“Your family loves you. Isn’t that enough? I mean, why go out into the big world and risk the pain? It is jungle out there.”

I save my work and close the computer. I need some fresh air.

How to silence the Doubter

First, thank the Doubter for caring about you so much that she’s concerned for your comfort. Then tell her plainly, “Some things are worth getting hurt over.”

Maybe you will get hurt. Maybe you’ll be rejected. But this dream is too big to quit over a little pain. You would rather experience the sharp pain of failure than the dull agony a dead dream (tweet that if you agree).

Then kindly say those five wonderful words:

Shut up, I’m writing.

What internal voices do you need to silence? How do you clear your head? Share in the comments.

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Three Reasons You Need to Slow Down

Last night, I went to bed at nine o’clock. That’s early for me, but I was so tired and worn out that I had no choice but to turn in. I could’ve pushed through another couple hours of work or done something more “productive,” but sometimes the most productive thing I can do is rest.

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If you’ve ever been so busy you’ve made yourself sick or snapped at your spouse due to stress, you know what a lack of rest can do to you. You can run yourself ragged and spread yourself so thin that you stay active without really accomplishing anything.

When we race from one thing to the next, we end up leading busy, but insignificant lives. [Tweet that]

Every time I’m too busy to take a walk or enjoy a good meal, I remind myself that I need to slow down. If you’re moving too fast to enjoy the simple things in life, then so do you.

And you’d better do it now before it’s too late.

Why you should slow down soon

Why is it important to slow down sooner rather than later? Because:

It’s good for you. Studies show that getting eight hours of sleep can actually lead to weight loss, not to mention the obvious fact that a well-rested mind leads to clearer thinking and better work.
It makes you more likable  If you’re always tired (because you are doing too much), chances are you are often cranky. Who wants to be around someone who’s always complaining or in a bad mood? Your friends, family, and colleagues will thank you if you take a nap or say “no” once in awhile.
It helps you focus on what really matters. It’s possible to strive so hard that you end up missing the most important things in life. When all you have are obligations, you forget to savor the special moments.

When we slow down, we make a few important declarations to the world (and to ourselves):

“I can’t do everything, but I can do the most important things.”
“My family and friends deserve my best, not my leftovers.”
“When I do less, I can do what I do better.”

Don’t you want to be able to say those things more? I do.

Let’s go for a stroll together

For me, slowing down is about being present. It’s about making the person in front of me feel like important (because they are). It’s about concentrating on the tasks I’m doing in the moment, because when I’m distracted everything I do suffers.

Maybe like me, you’ve been ready to slow down for awhile. But you never started, because you weren’t quite sure where to begin.

If that’s you, I’d like to invite you to join me in taking the Slow Down Challenge, a simple five-day series that will help you enjoy each moment, be more productive, and live with greater intentionality.

Instead of trying to cram more activities into shrinking blocks of time, what if we appreciated each moment for what it has to offer? And instead of trying to increase the quantity of time, what if we focused on the quality?

If you’ve been rushing through life when you should have been resting, this challenge is for you. Let’s take the first step (which may look more like a stop) together.

How do you need to slow down right now? Share in the comments.

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Winners of the What I’m Waiting for Video Contest

It’s time to announce the winners of the “What I’m Waiting for” video contest I hosted for the launch of my new book, The In-Between. All the entries were amazing in their own way, which, frankly, made me a little sad I could choose only three winners.

As inspiration for the contest, I shared my own book trailer, which was created by the fine folks at Moody Publishers. For your reference, here it is again:

And with that, the contestants were off in pursuit of their prizes. Just to remind you, they were:

Third place: $25 Amazon gift card
Second place: $100 Amazon gift card
First place: Amazon Kindle Fire

So let’s see who won what. Without further ado, here are the winners…

Third Place: Anne Peterson — “The In-Between Is a Book for Everyone”

Why liked this video: Anne did a great job capturing the essence of the book in this video and made it fun with the use of the character Pinocchio. She also used an entire production team of her daughter to accomplish the task. Well done, Anne!

Second Place: Mark Van Horn — “The Little Moments”

Why I liked this video: The production quality of the video and voiceover script made this good enough to make me want to hire Mark for my next book trailer. His subtle visual storytelling through scenes of his daughters was captivating. Here’s what he said:

For me. The little moments in-between, are those moments in your child’s life, the little ones. Blink and its gone. Kids grow up so fast. And its the little moments in-between all the running around, sick days, graduations, games, and tantrums that will really stick with you. Cherish those moments in-between.

And now for the winner…

First Place: Mike Burns — “What I’m Waiting for”

Why I liked this video: As far as I know, nothing I’ve written has ever inspired a hip song… until now.

The video quality, original music, and lyrical content all made this entry the clear winner. It was original, interesting, and excellent. Plus, the theme of achieving your dreams was especially powerful for me.

I’ve listened to it probably a dozen times since it was submitted, and I can’t get enough of it. Here are the lyrics:

What I’m waiting for is the next big thing,

for the chance to help more people and the joy that it brings

bling bling– the phone rings,

They were encouraged by a post or a song

I’m waiting for the time when I can do what I love to do

all day long…that’s what I’m waiting for

To work with my wife and kids and produce things and write

It takes patience man that kind of thing don’t happen overnight

And in the stillness of the waiting, I’m learning and it’s giving me wings

and now I’m waiting to see what the waiting brings…

that’s what I’m waiting for…

Honorable mentions

As I said, I enjoyed watching every entry, but there were a few that especially connected with me. Here are a few that didn’t win but were still excellent:

In his video, Mike Skiff talked about the legacy left by the death of his son (warning: this will make you cry). Watch it here.
In this video, one contestant rewrote the words to a song from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, setting it to the theme of The In-Between. I loved the lyrics. Watch and listen here
In his video, Peter talked about how he overcame his panic attacks and learned to enjoy his summer break. Watch it here.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! You can watch the rest of the video contest submissions here. And if you won, you should be getting an email from me today.

Now that you’ve watched these videos, how have you been inspired to use your in-between moments better? Share in the comments.

You just finished reading Winners of the What I'm Waiting for Video Contest! Consider leaving a comment!

Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book

Winners of the “What I’m Waiting for” Video Contest

It’s time to announce the winners of the “What I’m Waiting for” video contest I hosted for the launch of my new book, The In-Between. All the entries were amazing in their own way, which, frankly, made me a little sad I could choose only three winners.

As inspiration for the contest, I shared my own book trailer, which was created by the fine folks at Moody Publishers. For your reference, here it is again:

And with that, the contestants were off in pursuit of their prizes. Just to remind you, they were:

First place: $25 Amazon gift card
Second place: $100 Amazon gift card
First place: Amazon Kindle Fire

So let’s see who won what. Without further ado, here are the winners…

Third Place: Anne Peterson — “The In-Between Is a Book for Everyone”

Why liked this video: Anne did a great job capturing the essence of the book in this video and made it fun with the use of the character Pinocchio. She also used an entire production team of her daughter to accomplish the task. Well done, Anne!

Second Place: Mark Van Horn — “The Little Moments”

Why I liked this video: The production quality of the video and voiceover script made this good enough to make me want to hire Mark for my next book trailer. His subtle visual storytelling through scenes of his daughters was captivating. Here’s what he said:

For me. The little moments in-between, are those moments in your child’s life, the little ones. Blink and its gone. Kids grow up so fast. And its the little moments in-between all the running around, sick days, graduations, games, and tantrums that will really stick with you. Cherish those moments in-between.

And now for the winner…

First Place: Mike Burns — “What I’m Waiting for”

Why I liked this video: As far as I know, nothing I’ve written has ever inspired a hip song… until now.

The video quality, original music, and lyrical content all made this entry the clear winner. It was original, interesting, and excellent. Plus, the theme of achieving your dreams was especially powerful for me.

I’ve listened to it probably a dozen times since it was submitted, and I can’t get enough of it. Here are the lyrics:

What I’m waiting for is the next big thing,

for the chance to help more people and the joy that it brings

bling bling– the phone rings,

They were encouraged by a post or a song

I’m waiting for the time when I can do what I love to do

all day long…that’s what I’m waiting for

To work with my wife and kids and produce things and write

It takes patience man that kind of thing don’t happen overnight

And in the stillness of the waiting, I’m learning and it’s giving me wings

and now I’m waiting to see what the waiting brings…

that’s what I’m waiting for…

Honorable mentions

As I said, I enjoyed watching every entry, but there were a few that especially connected with me. Here are a few that didn’t win but were still excellent:

In his video, Mike Skiff talked about the legacy left by the death of his son (warning: this will make you cry). Watch it here.
In this video, one contestant rewrote the words to a song from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, setting it to the theme of The In-Between. I loved the lyrics. Watch and listen here
In his video, Peter talked about how he overcame his panic attacks and learned to enjoy his summer break. Watch it here.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! You can watch the rest of the video contest submissions here. And if you won, you should be getting an email from me today.

Now that you’ve watched these videos, how have you been inspired to use your in-between moments better? Share in the comments.

You just finished reading Winners of the "What I'm Waiting for" Video Contest! Consider leaving a comment!

Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book

The Discipline of Gratitude [Slow Down Challenge: Day 5]

Note: This week, I’m writing a series of challenges to help you (and me) slow down and savor the good parts of life. Find out more about it here, and make sure you’re signed up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing.

One of the curses of living in such a fast-paced society is that we tend to take things for granted. We overlook everyday blessings, oblivious to the fact that life itself is a gift. And if we’re not careful, we can find ourselves rushing through each day, less and less grateful, which is no way to live.

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The sickness of ingratitude creeps into our lives slowly and inconspicuously. It manifests in subtle ways, like a feeling of offense when the person ahead of you in line takes her sweet time counting pennies before paying the store clerk.

It grows in us as we believe the thoughts that pop into our head: “I don’t deserve this” and “This is a waste of my time.”

Eventually this plague takes root in our hearts, where it can be hard to shake. And all of the sudden, every inconvenience becomes a personal affront, which we take very seriously.

Remembering to be grateful

When we forget to be grateful for the less-than-extraordinary times, we forget to be grateful, period.

Beauty and goodness are all around us; we just need eyes to see them. And the way we acquire such vision is saying thanks for the things that we don’t even understand to be gifts.

That’s not to say bad things don’t happen or that injustice and evil are not real. They are. But how we act when the worst stuff happens is correlated to our deepest beliefs about ourself and the world.

Are we expecting these bad things, even dreading them? Or can we find the good in them, seeing signs of possible redemption even in the worst of circumstances?

What we do in the worst of times determines who we are all the time [tweet that]. And in every evil and inconvenient time, there is still some good to be found.

Part of the reason we learn to say “thanks” for the seemingly small things is that it helps us appreciate the “big” things in life when they do come.

And the other reason is that as we learn to appreciate the small, we realize it is all big. We learn to stop waiting for tomorrow or a better break and finally embrace where we are, right now. Which hopefully by now we can say is a very good place.

Challenge: Say “thanks” (for everything)

Today, try saying “thank you” for everything.

Say it to your spouse who makes you wait for dinner. Say it to the cashier who moves too slow. Say it to your late lunch appointment or the call center operator who keeps putting you on hold. Say it to God for every inconvenience that causes you to grow.

Say “thank you.” Don’t just think it or tell it to yourself. Actually speak the words — and mean them.

Be grateful for the moments that slow you down, the ones that cause you to take your time. Use these opportunities to appreciate what you already have and tend to miss. As you do, see how much better life looks, and actually is, when you approach it with gratitude.

For more about learning to slow down, check out my new book, The In-Between, which is a call to be grateful for the less-than-spectacular times (it’s currently 40% off on Amazon).

What’s something that doesn’t seem like a blessing that you can be grateful for today? Share in the comments.

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Please, Interrupt Me [Slow Down Challenge: Day 4]

Note: This week, I’m writing a series of challenges to help you (and me) slow down and savor the good parts of life. Find out more about it here, and make sure you’re signed up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing.

I don’t have to tell you about busyness. Chances are, if you’re like me, that as you read this someone or something is going to interrupt you.

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Maybe it’s your kid wanting breakfast or your smartphone buzzing with a new notification. Whatever it is, we all live with these everyday occurrences that call us out of the zone and into the world.

For the longest time, I thought these interruptions were bad. I thought they were keeping me from the “plan.” But now I have a different perspective:

What if the things we consider inconveniences are the very tools used to help us grow?

Every time I’ve waited for something BIG in my life, I’ve been disappointed by the outcome — or at very least, surprised.

The reason is we weren’t meant to live like that, bouncing from one big thing to the next. When your journey is more about destinations than the points in between, the arrival rarely measures up to your expectations.

The lessons of interruptions

We need to learn to fall in love with the whole process of life, not just a particular event. One way to do this is by welcoming, not dreading, the interruptions.

These include flight delays, long traffic lights, and even that needy person who takes up more conversation than you had originally planned for.

Why do we need to surrender to these moments that frustrate us to no end? Because:

They teach us to let go of control.
They remind us life is not just about “me.”
They help us become more patient.

So the next time you wake up six times at night to a teething baby, remember to be present. The next time your colleague “just wants to talk,” listen. The next time an opportunity to hang out with a friend or spouse comes, take it (even if you’re under a deadline).

No one should be too busy to spend time with the people that matter most. And nobody is too important to make a new friend.

The legacy of your life will not be judged by how many emails you responded to or how well you maximized your lunch break. It will be measured, I believe, by how interruptible you were.

How often did you let the world pull you away from yourself so you could focus on others? That’s the question we need to answer.

Challenge: Let go

When we try to control everything, when we plan every last minute of the day, we get mad at life for throwing a wrench in our plans. When the hotwater heater breaks. When your kid gets the flu. When your boss has a “favor” to ask.

But what if we expected these interruptions? What if we counted on them, deciding ahead of time how to act in these instances? Here’s your challenge:

Decide what you will do and who you will be WHEN you get interrupted. You don’t have to let people steal your time, but choose your response before it happens.
Block out time to spend with a person who usually interrupts you. Call her just to chat; if local, ask her to lunch.
When an interruption occurs, welcome it. Look for what you can learn from the experience, and don’t get annoyed. Instead, embrace this as a chance to grow.

I’m not saying you should let people walk all over you or neglect everything you need to get done. But I am saying this:

We don’t become who we’re supposed to be by checking off one more thing on the to-do list. The path to legacy comes to those who help others, who make time for interruptions.

Those are the people we remember. And that’s the kind of person I want to be.

For more about learning from interruptions, check out my new book, The In-Between, which is a call to use the lesser times more wisely (it’s currently 40% off on Amazon).

What lessons do you learn when you get interrupted? What kind of person would you like to be when someone interrupts you? Share in the comments.

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The Myth of Multitasking [Slow Down Challenge: Day 3]

Note: This week, I’m writing a series of challenges to help you (and me) slow down and savor the good parts of life. Find out more about it here, and make sure you’re signed up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing.

Distraction. It’s one of the fastest ways to lose our focus and start — uh, what was I saying? Sorry, I had to check my email real quick. Anyway, where was I?

Photo Credit: RLJ Photography NYC via Compfight cc

Oh yeah, distraction…

You and I are called to important work that not just anyone can do. And the biggest obstacle to accomplishing this is a million little distractions that we encounter every day.

Recently, Erik Fisher interviewed me for his podcast, Beyond the To Do List, which focuses on productivity and getting things done. We were talking about my new book, The In-Between, and he asked quite candidly,

What does slowing down have to do with productivity?

Great question. On the surface, it may seem that the two have nothing in common. But nothing could be further from the truth.

In many cultures, have this idea that if we accomplish more things, then that equates to better work. Doing one thing at a time often feels inefficient, so why not combine things? We sometimes call “multitasking,” and when it works we feel like we did something right.

But what if it never worked? What if multitasking was a myth?

The costs of multitasking

Every time you put your hand to accomplish something, you’re communicating (internally and externally) the priority of that task. You’re saying it’s just as important as whatever else you’re trying to do.

But what happens when you multi-task during family time? Or when you mix chatting with friends with a little bit of work time? And how about that bright idea of catching a movie while you should be writing your next book or blog post?

Not good ideas, right? So why do we think we can get away with other forms of multi-tasking? We don’t realize what it’s costing us.

When you try to do more, you accomplish less. When you multitask, you’re not only communicating a priority; you’re diluting your focus.

Confucius once said,

Man who chases two rabbits catches neither.

There is a cost to our constant productivity, and that is we end up doing both things poorly.

Staying productive is good. But busyness robs us of the gift right in front of us (tweet that). It distracts us from the most important things in life and often steals our joy.

Don’t let it. Instead, learn how to pay attention and find the freedom that comes with focusing on what matters now.

Challenge: Focus

What if today you stopped trying to fit more things into smaller blocks of time and instead took your time trying to do fewer things? How much better could you do your work and how much more present to it would you be?

That’s what we’re going to do today: we’re going to try to focus. Here’s your assignment:

Pick one task you need to accomplish today; write it down.
Also, list the distractions that stand in your way.
Share your list with one person who can hold you accountable.
As you work, glance at your list and remind yourself what really matters.
Try turning off your phone or other pieces of technology. Leave it in the other room and see how much better your work is when you can focus.

My task is to type the addresses of 100 people that I spoke to last weekend. They gave me their contact info at an event, and I promised to send them something this week. But I’ve been busy day with appointments, so I keep procrastinating.

Distractions include email and social media that I check in between meetings. Instead of doing that, though, I’m going to remember these people are counting on me and I can’t let them down.

For more about learning to focus, check out my new book, The In-Between, which is a call to pay attention to what’s right in front of us (it’s currently 40% off on Amazon).

What’s your one thing you need to accomplish today? Share in the comments.

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Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book

Why We Must Savor Every Moment [Slow Down Challenge: Day 2]

Note: This week, I’m writing a series of challenges to help you (and me) slow down and savor the good parts of life. Find out more about it here, and make sure you’re signed up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing.

Many of us lead busier lives than we would like, but it is not enough to simply slow down. We must savor every moment.

Photo Credit: GabrielaP93 via Compfight cc

The trouble is sometimes life can be bittersweet. It comes with all kinds of twists and turns, moments when we don’t know what the point of it all is. During those times, it may be tempting to live in the past or want to push ahead to the future. But those are the times we must cherish the most.

It was during my year on the road as a musician that I started rushing through meals. We were always on our way to the next gig, so where and what we ate was often the lowest priority.

Five- and ten-minute meals were the norm. We got into the habit of scarfing down our food quickly so that we could get back on the road and still stay on schedule.

It’s no surprise that I gained weight that year and can remember only a handful of memorable meals I ate. Moving too fast to enjoy any of it, I was more focused on what I was doing than on who I was becoming.

What happens when we rush

This isn’t just about food, of course. It started there, but the busyness began to creep into all areas of my life. And the faster I went, the more impatient I became. It got so bad that anytime an inconvenience occurred, I saw it as a personal affront to me.

We can get so caught up in our own pursuits that we start seeing life more as a schedule to keep than a journey to be cherished. Our lives become nothing more than constant task lists, which cause us to move from one thing to the next without really enjoying any of it.

But what is the point of a life like that? As I wrote in The In-Between,

If we reserve our joy only for the experiences of a lifetime, we may miss the life in the experience.

Why we need to slow down

Something is lost when we get so busy and consumed with productivity that we find ourselves speeding through our days instead of savoring them.

No, it’s not easy to slow down and enjoy every breath, every meal, every inconvient interaction. But that is what we must do. Why?

Because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Today may be all we have.
Because life moves fast. We don’t want to get to the end of it and wonder where it all went.
Because sometimes our biggest frustrations turn into our most beautiful moments.

Just this morning, my son decided to wake up an hour before the sunrise. Going through the usual routine of changing him, feeding him, even giving him medicine (he’s teething), I eventually had to give upt. None of it worked; he was ready to be up.

This didn’t work well for my schedule. Frustrated and offended that a 14-month-old couldn’t understand his daddy’s schedule, I had to decide: Would I find a way to be okay with this moment right now, to savor it and see the beauty in it; or would I just be mad?

Watching my son crawl across the floor to place a green plastic ball in the trunk of his purple and blue toy elephant, I catch him smiling at me. And I realize that as much as I’d like an extra hour of sleep or to get ahead with work, there aren’t many moments better than this one.

Challenge: Savor

Take your time with food today. If you’re the one who cooks in your home, spend more than the minimum amount of time preparing the meal. Slowly cut and cook each ingredient, imaginging what they will taste like when blended.

When you eat, chew slowly. Make each bite intentional and deliberate, counting to at least 20 before swallowing. As you do, remember to appreciate and enjoy all the flavors in the food. And above all, remember to smile between bites.

For more about taking your time with life and enjoying every moment, check out my new book, The In-Between, which is a call to savor the less-than-spectacular moments (it’s currently 40% off on Amazon).

What do you need to savor more? Share in the comments.

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Are you ready to embrace the "in-between" and experience all life has to offer? Check out my new book