What It Really Takes to Build Influence
How do you build influence? Is it through a blog? A speaking career? Incessant marketing and conference attendance?
Or is it something else?
Photo credit: Jeff Goins (Yes, took this while driving.) Click here to pin this.
After interviewing a lot of famous people (famous to me, at least), I was pretty proud of myself. I had overcome my fear of meeting new people and was surprised by how many important people were willing to give me the time of day.
Could it really be so simple as just asking? I was blown away. Overconfident and on a success high, I emailed my friend Julien Smith, quite proud of my discovery.
He responded politely but disagreed saying that was not the best way to influence people.
“What is, then?” I asked.
“Meeting people in person,” he said.
Oh yeah. That.
What I learned from famous people
A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be a writer. I set a practice schedule. Told my friends I was now a writer. Even told my wife I hoped to write a book.
But all of that hinged on one important choice: I had to build a platform. Which meant people had to know who I was. And that meant I had to meet people. Like, for real.
For years, I watched friends and strangers succeed in getting published and becoming popular public speakers, all while I remained in obscurity.
I didn’t get it. What did they have that I didn’t? Was it talent? Charisma? Mad DJ skills?
No. It was none of those things. It was something far more simple and difficult.
Relationship. That’s what these influencers had that I didn’t. They knew people, the right people. And those people introduced them to other people. Connection led to more connection.
That’s all a platform really is: a way to connect your message to an audience that cares.
But how could I build one? What might I do to connect with people? I hated the idea of networking and handing out business cards. But maybe there was another way…
Instead of being the smarmy self promoter, constantly selling himself, maybe I could do something different. Maybe I could add value instead of taking it.
How I started building influence
Little by little, I began finding ways to help people: an interview here, a free lunch there. And as I did this, I discovered an important principle about networking and influence:
It’s not who you know. It’s who you help. [Tweet that]
Slowly, my name started to spread, and people began to talk about me. My network grew. I was becoming a person of influence — and it was all due to a service mindset.
Before I knew it, there was an entire community of people telling others about me. It was pretty incredible to watch.
For the longest time, I waited for someone to notice me. I longed to be picked by a publisher. I counted the days until I’d stumble upon the opportunity of a lifetime. But it never happened. Not until I started showing interest in others did anyone show any interest in me.
During all that time of waiting, the answer evaded me. And as I finally watched my dream come true, I realized what I had been missing.
Offline relationship leads to online connection. All this technology is supposed to be means to a greater end. And that end is relationship.
The takeaways
Influence, for me, isn’t about big ideas or huge campaigns. It’s about little conversations. Small discussions and interactions that add up over time.
It’s not about being charismatic or popular. It’s about helping people — using the resources you have to make a difference in others’ lives.
And it’s not about being particularly smart or exceptionally brilliant. It’s just about asking the right questions, being curious enough to care.
If you were to look at the people who made an impact on your life, you would probably see a trend: The most influential people are not the loudest voices or most prominent personalities. They’re just the ones who stick around.
That’s the secret. Influencers keep showing up. They outlast and out-give the rest of the pack. And because they do this, we remember them.
If that’s what influence really is — more of a skill than a gift — then it’s something we all can practice.
And that wouldn’t be so bad, would it? More people making others matter? Being helpful and generous and not giving up until they’ve served someone?
No, I don’t think that would be too bad at all.
(By the way, I’m be speaking at the Influence Conference this weekend in Indianapolis. If you’re going to be there or are in the area, I would love to try to meet up. Leave a comment or send me an email.)
What are some traits of influencers you appreciate? Share in the comments.
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