C. Lynn Williams's Blog, page 9
July 15, 2022
New Mom Advice: Remember Yourself While Breastfeeding
Guest blog by Katherine Williams, whenthebabysleeps.com
Breastfeeding takes a lot of energy out of new moms. From late-night nursing sessions to minimal sleep, to feeling emotionally drained, having a new baby has its challenges. To make this special time better for both your baby and you, it’s crucial to find ways to take care of yourself. As laughable as it might sound, author and coach C. Lynn Williams offers up several ways to make self-care happen without feeling overwhelmed or guilty.
Care for the NecessitiesYour kids need you to care for not only them but also yourself. When breastfeeding, it may feel like you spend all your time and effort on one child. Raising a baby can be mentally taxing and you must take care of your kids to give you the peace that you want.
You have to learn to stay calm, not only for your sake but for the baby. Kids pick up on your stress and if you do not stay calm, the baby may not want to keep close to you. All your baby wants is skin-to-skin contact and food. When breastfeeding, find yourself a comfortable chair to sit down in. You should feel supported by the chair and have no trouble elevating your legs if necessary. Additionally, stay close to your baby. Babies need a comfortable feeding session to remain close to their mothers.
In addition, find clothes that fit you correctly and remain comfortable. For instance, maternity bras are supportive but also can help prevent leaks. Do not wear a regular bra when nursing; instead, look for a nursing bra.
Take Control of Your Mental HealthBefore you can fix your mental health, look at your diet. According to the experts, a healthy diet consists of fiber, fat, calcium, and protein. If you want to succeed and feel better mentally and physically, prepare your meals and make changes to the way you eat with or without help.
A new baby can be the source of a lot of stress. New mothers may go through physical changes, fatigue, or lose confidence about breastfeeding. Be careful not to try diets that may slow you down or cause rapid weight loss while engaged in breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding comes with various emotions attached, including postpartum. You may need help from a therapist to stop feeling overwhelmed. Virtual therapy is a good option to consider. Online therapy is easy because anyone can go online to watch a therapist. To ease your mind, take part in physical activity. Different types of exercises, including walking, can be done anywhere.
Teach Older Kids How to CopeWhen your other kids welcome a new baby brother or sister home, they may seem overjoyed. Even excited kids need reassurance from their parents. Try to prioritize time with all of your kids. If you do not spend time with them, you may feel more pressure or guilt. Do what you can to stay available each night. You may want to help your kids with basic chores or make sure to plan for new experiences you can all celebrate as a family and keep morale up.
When it comes to your other children, acknowledge how they feel. Even if they act scared or negative, remind them that being an older sibling does come with responsibility and allow them to take as much time as necessary to build their confidence as a big brother or sister. When you acknowledge your children’s feelings, you have more coping tools and less jealousy to deal with.
Interested in managing your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
June 30, 2022
4 Reasons to Write a Will
As I wrap up June and the different topics that I’ve covered this month to celebrate men’s health education, the last topic of interest is wills (living and traditional) and trusts. Generations of my family did not make their wishes known by preparing a will and we had issues trying to provide proper burial arrangements, as well as share their remains with the appropriate family member. As you can imagine, Grandma Taylor’s poker table became a point of contention when two grieving sisters decided they both wanted it.
Another important document, is a living will. A living will is an advanced directive that directs the decision maker about what an individual wants and does not want, if they are unable to make their wishes clear.
Here are 4 reasons to leave a will:You can be clear about who gets your assets. …You can keep your assets out of the hands of people you don’t want to have them (like an estranged relative).You can identify who should care for your children. …Your heirs will have a faster and easier time getting access to your assets.Be Clear About Who Gets Your Assets – This is a pretty big deal. Simply put, you get to decide who gets your favorite class ring, diamond necklace, or “the house”. If you die without a will, those wishes may not be carried out. Further, your heirs may end up spending additional time, money, and emotional energy to settle your affairs after you’re gone. Or fighting over what “mom or dad wanted me to have“. While no single document will likely resolve every issue that arises after your death, a last will and testament—can come pretty close.
Identify Who Should Care for Your Children – A will identifies who will take care of your child if you die before s/he becomes an adult. Without a will, the courts will decide.
Your Heirs Will Have a Faster and Easier Time Getting Access to your Assets – Having a will and executor, lets the courts know how to disburse your assets and to whom they will go. It takes time to get a court date, so if you need to access your loved one’s bank accounts, have yourself added to your loved one’s accounts.
Finally, there were two documents that helped us tremendously when we were taking care of our parents (when they could no longer take care of themselves). Power of Attorney for Financial Reasons, and Power of Attorney for Health Care. Both powers of attorney, give broad authority to the person assigned. A power of attorney for financial decisions names a person to handle financial matters on behalf of another individual.
A power of attorney for health care is similar in some ways to the power of attorney for financial decisions in that it also names a person to make decisions on behalf of someone else.
When executing a power of attorney for health care, an individual answers several questions in an attempt to make clearly exactly what kind of treatment they want, based on their medical condition.
This is the Cliff’s notes version of why creating a will is important. I didn’t address trusts, which offer additional protections. I’d reach out to a trusted attorney to get details, if you go that route. Be prepared if your parents, grandparents or spouse don’t agree that a will is needed. Just know family members “clown” when a matriarch or patriarch dies or gets sick and can’t make decisions.
Don’t let that be your legacy.Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguruJune 23, 2022
How to Have Healthier Menfolk
As I sit here and eat a bag of Hershey’s kisses, I wonder how in the world my kids learned to stop loving junk food 
and stay healthy? 
Wonder how you build kids who love junk food, into healthy adults? 
This month of June, celebrates men and boy’s health. So let’s talk about physical health.
When it comes to male health, I literally have to call “the kids” when my husband needs to go to the doctor. He’s pretty clear that there is no need to go to the doctor.. just take an Advil or Dayquil and stay in the bed. 
So you can imagine, there’s no such thing as scheduling an annual well visit.
Do you live with someone like that? 
Scheduling annual well doctor and dentist visits are easy to do when our sons are young. They need both for school or to play sports. As they grow into men, it becomes more challenging to have them see a doctor as a preventative measure. My husband would rather write a check for a million dollars 
than have a wellness visit.
It’s a shame that body parts have to stop working, in order to visit the doctor. Maybe it’s the “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it” strategy.
If the males in your family are the same way, it might be easier to help them eat healthier. Personally, I like vegetables and a fish protein since I don’t eat meat. I get a little push back if I make what my husband calls, double greens. 
For example, cooking stir fry veggies and a side of spinach is considered double greens. On those days, I’m pressing my luck.
With your sons, especially if they play a sport, having a good amount of healthy carbs makes eating junk food less enticing. Maybe they’re not interested in eating grapes, apples and cherries, but have them in the fridge. Having popcorn, cheese bites, and healthy snacks in the pantry, may make flaming hots, or hot Cheetos less attractive.
I recommend starting a healthy regime now at the beginning of the summer before more bad eating habits get started.
Consider adding in a mother-son (or husband-wife) evening walk to give you time with each other, and a little exercise.
Or… encourage your husband and son to go to the park and throw a baseball, football, play soccer, or run on the track together. You might get push back if they’ve not done this before. Just keep encouraging them.
I’ve been trying to get my husband to walk with me in the evening, so that we don’t become a fixed part of the sofa. 
I’ll keep trying.
At the end of the day, exercising and healthy eating, can help you control your weight and keep your sanity.
Write me and let me know how successful you are with the males in your family. I’ll do the same. 
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
June 10, 2022
What is Your Teen Doing This Summer?
I was talking with one of my parents on social media about kids working and what we did (as kids) when summer break occurred.
One of the things that was always understood was that my sister, brother and I did not have summers off. We may have been out of school, but we either had book lists to read and write reports on, we attended day camp; we were camp counselors or we had summer jobs. We did not take the summer off and get up when we felt like it.
My mom said that “An idle mind is the devil’s playhouse.” 
The relationship between entitlement that parents complain about, and their inability to set boundaries on what they require their child to do or not do is very interesting. Teens will never admit that they want to work, go to camp, or read books during summer break.
No firm plans for the summer doesn’t do anything for your child but allow them to get into mischief, or start bad habits for getting up in the fall and the next school year.
A relationship that I find interesting, is the importance of teaching our kids how to earn and manage money. My parents tied our allowance to weekly chores as a way to help us learn how to earn and save money.
Requiring your child to work, complete chores around the house, cut grass for neighbors, babysit, or work part-time, builds character and responsibility.
“An idle mind is the devil’s playhouse.”I would love to hear how you will work with your child this summer to help them build responsibility and character. 
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
June 3, 2022
Education Technology and the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act
COPPAAre you aware that the Children’s Online Policy Statement, announced on May 25th, affirms that kids under 13 shouldn’t have to give up their privacy rights just to do their schoolwork? It also tells ed tech providers they can’t require parents and schools to agree to the comprehensive surveillance of children in exchange for students’ use of such learning tools.
Even before the pandemic forced kids into virtual learning platforms, ed tech has been used in schools. The FTC is working to ensure that the companies offering this technology are following the law – and to let parents know that the FTC is watching what information companies collect about kids, how they use it, for how long they keep it, and how they protect it. When it comes to protecting kids’ personal information, the FTC is on the side of parents who are concerned about data collection and privacy.
That’s why I am sharing their consumer blog (also available in Spanish) with my audience, and letting people know about this important topic. To read the policy statement, visit: COPPA statement. For more information about protecting kids online, visit ftc.gov/parents.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguruParent Coach, Author & Speaker
May 26, 2022
What Do I Need to Do To Get Your Attention❓
Starting my How to Love Yourself in 30 Days online course on June 5th. Click on the link to join.What’s one of the first things you do when you get a moment to yourself? You probably pull out your phone. 
There’s so much you can do on your phone. You can have a whole conversation by text or talking. You can play a game, shop or watch one of your favorite shows.
However, when you’re raising children, there’s so much of you that’s required for them to grow up healthy: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Most important is to know what’s going on in their heads.
I was talking to one of my friends about their kids who are under the age of 5. We all agreed that if your child was awake and the house was quiet 
, they were probably getting into something! You had to watch them constantly!
As our kids get older, we feel that we don’t have to watch them as closely and assume that things are okay with them. If they weren’t, our kids would tell us. Natural assumption right?
Wrong!In families today, our children are relying on us to put aside our devices and initiate discussions; listen to what’s going on with them. It’s not easy….
Your teen will talk. They have to be assured that you’re listening and won’t judge them. There can’t be any topic that you won’t discuss with them. Are you willing to talk about anything and everything? Can you listen without letting your facial expressions show how horrified you are with the conversation? 
We are living in times where anything is possible and are kids want to explore, try out new and different theories, relationships and experiences. Being able to share their thoughts and concerns with you, helps them put them in perspective. Keeping the lines of communication open, by relating to your child’s thoughts and feelings; asking them what they think – makes all the difference in the world.
Have a meal together; it doesn’t matter which one. First require that all phones and tablets be put away. 2nd requirement: allow your child the freedom to say whatever is on their mind (must be respectful). Ask “Tell me what’s going on”. The first several conversations may be awkward while your kids try to figure out if you’re being honest and whether they can say what they feel.
Every time I hear or read about another mass shooting; I wonder who the shooter had to talk to within his family. If they shot or killed a family member before taking other lives, I wonder what kind of dysfunction was taking place. Were they able to share the fact that they were being bullied or that they were feeling anti-social? Were they abused? Are they suffering from a mental illness that went unaddressed?
Shooter & Ak rifleI realize these are simple questions for complex issues. But what I do know is that young people have lots of challenges going on in their lives these days. We as parents can’t solve them all. However, being watchful, following your intuition (if you feel something is wrong, it is) and making it safe to tell you what’s going on, goes a long way to minimize issues that cause our kids to self-harm or harm others. Peace.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguruParent Coach, Author & Speaker
April 28, 2022
My Spouse and I Parent Very Differently
How is it possible that the person you fell in love with; who understands you perfectly and finishes your sentences… parents so differently from you?
Not only do they parent differently, it’s inconsistent, they show favorites with your kids and it’s ALL WRONG 
Well, I wonder if they feel the same way about you?
The funny thing about parenting, is this: how can someone else tell you how to raise your child? Yet, that’s exactly what has to happen when you coparent whether you are in the same household or in separate households.
Ideally you discuss things that are important to you to instill in your children before they are born. If it’s important that your son or daughter to speak candidly, then your spouse can’t be annoyed when your out-spoken child speaks at a family gathering (and the comment embarrasses you).
Parenting isn’t one of those “scripted” professions. You start out with the best intentions of raising your child together, until you hit a non-negotiable topic.
Here are 3 things to consider to help you resolve those sticky parenting issues: Take a moment to calm down (if you’re angry)Think about whether you can accept what your spouse is saying (lose the ego) Communicate your concerns with your spouse (outside of your child’s hearing)Trying to talk while angry, is insanity. Once you calm down, you may feel differently and be willing to compromise. Marriage and raising children require compromise and patience from both of you. Acceptance of your spouse’s parenting style is important to your relationship, and the relationship of your spouse and child.
If you or your spouse are the bonus parent, and are new to the parent-child relationship, either one of you may have a difficult time, “allowing” the other parent to share in important decisions, behavior management and life issues. It’s a normal human emotion to be protective of your child. However, the blending takes place when you share your concerns and decide how to handle.
That was the challenge my husband and I faced when we married and blended our children of previous relationships together. It wasn’t easy when we started. It took a lot of conversations and a few arguments (when the kids were not around). It also took prayer and patience. Our children are adults now, and we are celebrating 20 years of marriage later this year.
You can do this!
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguruApril 14, 2022
Easter: Preparing for What’s Next
As we prepare for Easter week, I think about some of the things that we did when our kids were growing up. My husband and I wanted to share our faith with our children, but we also wanted them to have fun. 
While there was always an Easter program at church that our kids participated in, we did things like dye eggs for Easter egg hunts, find hidden Easter eggs in the yard and attended good Friday service.
As our kids got older we talked about giving up “something” for Lent, as a sacrifice, as a way to understand what Jesus gave up by going through the Cruxifixion.
This week, as I celebrate Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, I think about the people I have met this year. Was I kind and generous? Have I done my best to share my faith as a Christian?
I hope so.
Happy Easter 
April 5, 2022
What Being Patient Does Not Mean
Have you ever had somebody tell you, “just be patient, it will come in time.”?
What did you think?
Did a little guilt or anger creep in? Or perhaps all you could think about is OMG, when is “it” going to happen!?
The problem with statements like just be patient, is that we are impatient by nature. We want what we want, right away. Today’s technology just exacerbates that right-now mentality because of our ability to request & respond to people immediately!
Today, I’m not interested in talking about how to be patient; what I do want to talk about, is what being patient does not mean.
For creative, inventive, amazing people, there are many other things to do, to prepare for what’s coming. Here are things I think about when I am waiting…
Is there any preparation that I can complete?Are there other unrelated tasks that need to be completed?What fun activities can I do, to take my mind off of “are we there yet” questions?Walking, yoga, running, or working-out, are great activities to help you refocusPreparing for something new that’s coming into my life, whether it’s a book that I’m writing, new clients joining my coaching program, or a vacation that I sorely need, requires patience.
Being patient does not mean being inactive or sitting still. Instead you are focusing your energies on activities, thoughts and preparation, so that when what you are expecting to come, occurs, you are ready for it!
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parenting coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguruParent Coach, Author & Speaker
March 9, 2022
Raising Our Daughters to be Fearless
My daughter and meAs we celebrate Women’s History Month, I think back to when I found out our firstborn child would be a girl. Coming from a long line of strong women, I was excited to be a girlmom. 
I believe in women being bold, sassy and speaking their truths. What better way to raise a daughter who would live life from her internal perspective instead of how the world thinks she should live.
What’s crazy is that nobody expects girls to speak with confidence, especially girls of color. 
As mothers, we have to encourage that confidence daily, so that our daughters are comfortable speaking up and out whether with their girlfriends, boyfriends, in the classroom or in their work environments. Living life on your own terms is important today where there are many opportunities to succeed, even when people tell you, you can’t.
Patience is key in this relationship with our daughter(s). As you help her build her “voice”, she will use it to argue and sometimes compete with you.
Don’t be offended, just know that as her staunchest supporter – her mom, you are someone she trusts and loves.
Be her fence, love her unconditionally, but give her room to grow. She may make decisions that you don’t respect as she grows and matures. It’s okay. It has to be okay – it’s her life. Be there as her guide and coach.
Enjoy the journey with her, as she becomes the woman you always wanted and expected her to become. 
