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Russia Gets Roasted Over Complaining About Ukraine’s Aggressive Behavior

If memory serves, Russia attacked Ukraine in February. They’re the ones who picked this fight to begin with and now, they’re complaining to Turkey about Ukraine’s aggressive behavior.

Who would have expected that? It’s a serious matter over there with people signing up left and right to join the fight, including some celebrities like The Klitschko brothers, Oleksandr Usykm, and Sergiy Stakhovsky. Not only that but many celebrities have lent their platforms to support Ukraine like Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Ben Stiller, Angelina Jolie, Sean Penn, and Jessica Chastain.

All seriousness aside, Reddit is having a field day with the idea that Russia is complaining about the “aggressive behavior” and their jokes are dead on:

Comment from discussion rakkadimus’s comment from discussion "Russia Complains of Ukraine Military’s ‘Aggressive Behavior’".

It reminds me of the story when the thief who was breaking into a house fell through the skylight and injured himself. He went on to sue the owners and won, somehow. One Reddit member is running with that line of humor.

Comment from discussion WorldEdit-‘s comment from discussion "Russia Complains of Ukraine Military’s ‘Aggressive Behavior’".

If you know how these Reddit talks get, they can go on with increasingly more funniness.

Comment from discussion 2016sucksballs’s comment from discussion "Russia Complains of Ukraine Military’s ‘Aggressive Behavior’".

That would be a Karen, right? Putin is now officially a Karen.

I remember living in Maryland where a friend of mine was arrested for defending himself. I couldn’t believe it. I had to ask his lawyer how that works. Did the other guy get arrested for his attack in the first place? Why doesn’t it work that way? This is kind of the same thing as that.

Comment from discussion misanthropic47’s comment from discussion "Russia Complains of Ukraine Military’s ‘Aggressive Behavior’".

This conversation might go on for a long time. There is too much meat here to chew on. It seems Russia isn’t as hard and sinister as they seem. With the latest amusement of hearing about Putin falling down the steps and pooping himself, this is a different Russia we’re looking at.

Of course, that incident might signal the end of Putin being in charge. Maybe the next guy won’t be so power-hungry. Maybe he won’t cause any problems at all. Maybe this becomes a Reddit too and they make fun of how delusional I am.

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Do The Arby’s Commercials Offend Anyone Else?

I can imagine that Arby’s commercials might offend someone, especially vegans and vegetarians. After all, they do announce loudly and proudly, “We have the meats!” It’s a wonder they’re not standing outside every Arby’s chanting, “Free the meat!”

It’s like the restaurant chain is so proud of itself for making delicious meaty sandwiches that are so juicy and mouthwatering. The Classic Roast Beef packed with meat on a toasted sesame seed bun comes with so much top round roast that it’s hard not to think about when an Arby’s commercial hits my TV.

The whole menu rocks with Crispy Chicken sandwiches and Wagyu Steakhouse burgers. Then, they added the Gyro, originally with luscious lamb, fulfilling feta, and tasty tzatziki. I’m getting hungry!

So, back to my original question, do vegans get upset when they see these commercials with all the meat? I’ve seen chicken lovers picket a KFC. I once visited a protest across from a McDonald’s.

These Guys Were Good SportsProof

You can’t tell me there aren’t any vegetarians in this world who aren’t even mildly annoyed that Arby’s brags about all their meat?

The reason I’m asking is that their latest commercial actually has me a little upset. It happens about two seconds into it when the voice actor says, “Too many bad burgers are served in drive-thrus every day…”

That absolutely got me in my feels. I mean, who do they think they are? I have never heard of a bad burger. Not one!

The Whopper with Cheese is obviously the best burger in the world, but there are so many burgers out there that I really can’t pick a second. Five Guys can sling a burger and that’s what makes for a good burger, the slinging part. Then at the other end, Raoul’s in Manhattan has a top-of-the-line burger that is so prized that they only make 12 of them a night. So no, I haven’t had that one.

I’m more the guy who goes through a drive-thru or hits a dive bar and orders one from the grill. Either way, I have had the greatest burgers life has to offer and I’ve never had a bad one. A bad one doesn’t exist.

If I could write up a yelp for a commercial, I would give it one star with a few choice words that wouldn’t be too pleasant for the commercial guy. But not the restaurant itself. I would never give that a bad yelp. They have the meats!

The Arby’s Commercial I’m Talking About

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Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield Team Up To Offer Holy Ears Edibles

In a very savage move, Mike Tyson is offering Holy Ears, edibles in the shape of Evander Holyfield’s ear. When I first heard about it, I rolled from laughing so hard, and then I thought about Holyfield. Turns out he’s involved and he’s making money from it too.

Image getting the two of them together after all these years. In case you don’t know, it was a very famous fight between the two of them. It’s the one where Tyson bit Holyfield’s ear off. Not the whole ear, but he got a good chunk of it.

I can still remember it like it was yesterday. I remember Holyfield pulling away from Tyson and he was acting weird. None of this had registered yet. No one knew why he was acting the way he was until they saw Mike Tyson spit the ear out of his mouth.

That’s when I believe an entire nation was in disbelief. We had no idea what to think or say. It was unimaginable that Tyson had just done that. All these years later, he comes up with an ear edible? That’s just too much. The world keeps spinning with crazy stuff like this going on in it.

I’m glad he pulled Holyfield into it with him. What was that first conversation like?

Mike: Hey I was thinking of selling edibles and the funniest thing I can come up with is they would be in the shape of your ear. What do you think?

Evander: You want to…you want to what?

It’s good to see them together, laughing about something that happened years ago. I don’t remember them laughing then about it. And they’re not only laughing now but banking again on it. I guarantee they sell like hotcakes.

Go, get you some. Only from Mike Tyson 2.0!

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‘Wheel of Fortune’ Flashback When Veteran Lets Other Veteran Win

Nura Fountano was killing it at Wheel of Fortune. She was winning all the money. The two other contestants looked like they were standing still compared to her. That is until she got to the final round and flipped the script on everyone.

All three contestants were veterans. Steve hadn’t won a dime all night. Troy had won some money, but he was nowhere close to Nura. She had the game in the bag.

That’s when she started calling out weird letters. She asked for a Z, a Q, and an X. A few times when it was her turn, she acted like she was thinking and time ran out on her. It was like Nura had left the building and an imposter was standing in her place.

Meanwhile, Steve was making some money!

It’s always good when veterans look out for each other. It’s also good when others see that. In the military, there’s a level of looking out for each other that goes beyond what people usually do for each other on a daily basis. For those of us who have served, there’s a very real threat that hangs over our heads at all times. Looking out for each other means a whole different thing to us.

But on a game show? The objective is to win. So, get to winning Nura. But no, Nura Fountano would pull off the most boss move ever.

Steve was the happiest about that. But what Nura was trying to do was a little tricky. In order for her to pull it off, that meant Troy couldn’t guess the answer. Steve would have to get this one and he was going to have to do it on his own. That was something out of Nura’s control. Did Troy guess it first? Or did Steve finally make some money to take home with him?

Watch Nura Fountano In Action

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‘Catfish: The TV Show’ Exposes Mom Who Used Daughter’s Naked Pics

Catfish: The TV Show caught a wild one in Episode 32 of Season 8, “Paul and Caitea.” Of course, they built up the tension beautifully and kept viewers going. First, they introduced Paul who told his story of being a boy at the age of 16 years old who fell in love with who he thought of as Caitea.

Of course, we all know that she didn’t exist. But she was more real than most catfishers on the show. But they made a point to spell her name Caitea when she shared another spelling of it online, Katy. So, that was even part of the deception. But let’s get to the good parts of the show, or should I say, the absolutely most disgusting parts of the show.

Just as Paul finally gets Katy on Zoom with Catfish hosts Nev and Kamie on the call, Katy announces that they are missing someone. For an awkward moment, Paul, Nev, and Kamie scratch their heads wondering what’s going on until Katy returns to the call…with her mother. Martha is the one who had been catfishing Paul.

And it gets worse. She would sneak into her daughter’s bedroom at night, steal her phone, and get her nude photos so that she could share them with Paul who, if you recall, was 16 at the time. That’s right. Martha was sharing her daughter’s nude photos with a teenage boy to catfish him.

As it turns out, this isn’t just one incident. It appears that Linda Paolini, age 45 of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, is another mother who shared her daughter’s naked photos with a 16-year-old boy online. The thing is that Linda’s daughter was also 16 years old. So, this amounted to child pornography as well as online enticement of a minor that resulted in a 35-year prison sentence.

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That Moment I Tried To Sign Into Facebook From A Different Browser

I was dragged into an interrogation room blindfolded. I guess Facebook genius Mark Zuckerberg didn’t want me to know where the compound was. But I could smell as I was first dragged into the location that the flowers were nicely arranged.

However, I was dragged down to another Facebook level where the aroma of wealth deteriorated into a doom of despair. That’s right! I have the ability to smell despair, which meant that I had internal clues of what lay ahead for me in my very near future.

With a light shining in my eyes, they pulled off the blindfold. And there I was, sitting in a chair, looking at only the silhouettes of my abductors, “Who are you? Why are you trying to sign into Michael Allen’s account?”

“I am Michael Allen. I am him. He is me!”

“No. No. No. No. No,” one of the hidden voices snapped back, “Don’t be playing games with us, Mr. Sir. Who do you think you are?”

“I just said. That’s who I am.”

“Well, let me tell you something buddy. Facebook sent out an email and you didn’t respond to it,” the silhouette yelled back at me.

“Oh well, normally when I get those kinds of emails, they say not to worry if it was me,” I answered.

He banged on a table I could not see, “Well, we don’t! You have made a mistake thinking we are just like any other internet site out there.”

“Don’t make mistakes like that,” another silhouette echoed.

“No. You got us all wrong, Mr. Allen,” another unknown voice confirmed with a hint of sarcasm. Then, I heard laughing throughout the room.

“Do you really believe that a multibillion-dollar website like Facebook that has a third of the world trapped under its spell is going to just let it go,” the first unknown voice asked. “You have to confirm, which you didn’t. So, you are highly suspect!”

“But it’s okay for fake accounts to send me friend requests,” I asked humbly.

There was no answer from the darkness in front of me.

“It’s okay for someone to duplicate a friend’s account and send me a friend request,” I asked with the same humble tone.

Still no answer.

“What exactly did I do wrong,” I asked out of sheer curiosity.

“We have our ways. Trust me, we have our ways of knowing everything. You signed in from a different browser than you normally sign in from if it is in fact you. You who you say that you are.”

“But the browser is on the same laptop,” I retorted.

“Yeah uh,” he hemmed and hawed, “We saw that.”

“My same IP, same internet connection, same address,” I added.

“Uh, yeah,” more hemming and hawing from the man hiding himself behind the light, “That’s exactly what we’re talking about!”

I heard more pounding on the table. I rolled my eyes because I didn’t have the ability to do anything else. They had handcuffed me to the chair.

“When you do something like that, you have to let us know. There is no excuse for your failure to communicate,” I heard echo through my ears as I saw two silhouettes approach me.

They slathered ink on my hands and got fingerprints. Then, they took a picture of my face from three different angles. They made me speak into a microphone, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”

Again, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”

Again, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”

Then they stuck a tongue suppressor into my mouth, which I can only assume was to collect DNA. But there might have been a different reason because I started to lose consciousness.

I found myself on 34th and Twine missing a sandal. As I looked around trying to figure out where I was, I quickly learned they had taken my phone and my wallet. But had replaced them with identical duplicates. Now, they knew everything about me and I wondered how much longer they were going to own me.

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Police Cause More Carnage At Indonesian Soccer Match Than Hurricane Ian

Hurricane Ian was on the minds of everyone across the country. Florida is used to having hurricanes, especially during Hurricane Season, but they really weren’t ready for this. The Hurricane that went across Florida and then shot back to hit in South Carolina has claimed 87 lives so far.

That’s why it’s so ridiculous that we wake up Monday morning to find out that there was more carnage at a soccer game in Indonesia. The home team lost, which caused fans to run down on the field and fight each other. But that’s not when the carnage began.

The police tried to stop the huge brawl with tear gas. A stampede ensued and some people were trampled to death. Others succumbed to suffocation as they breathed in too much of the chemical weapon.

More Damage Than Hurricane Ian

In all, 129 people died because of how the police handled the situation. It’s a sad day when people cause more deaths than a hurricane. Of course, now that the hurricane has finished and officials are looking back on their actions, they will go over everything that could have been done, should have been done, and what was done.

Fingers will start pointing and mouths will start running. Because anytime something bad happens, people are expected to be perfect. Did they let residents know and give them enough time to vacate their homes? How fast can all the resources and the infrastructure be put back into working conditions?

Residents are begging for relief because many of them have nowhere to go while phone lines and electric services are down. It’s a really sad situation that no one should have to live through. But storms are going to happen. We haven’t learned how to stop them from happening.

The thing is you’d think we’d be better at handling other people. When there are potentially over 40,000 fans in the Kanjuruhan Stadium in Malaysia, it’s not a good idea to shoot tear gas. I am no official and I don’t know what the protocol is for dealing with a huge riot. But I’m pretty sure I’m right that shooting chemical weapons into the crowd is not how you handle the situation.

Carnage at Indonesian Soccer Match

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The Marilyn Monroe In ‘Blonde’ Is Not The One I Know

I grew up a fan of Marilyn Monroe, her poster on my wall and everything. Did I think she was an innocent little flower girl? I never entertained that the most famous actress of all time was completely scandal-free. It’s hard growing up hearing all the gossip about her and believing she was a perfect angel. But the new Netflix drama Blonde feels like it has an axe to grind and I’m really not sure who the target is.

Based on the 2000 novel of the same name by Joyce Carol Oates, the story is categorized as fiction. That must be understood before you push play. How much of the story is true and how much is imagined? My rule of thumb would be anything Oates wrote but wasn’t there to witness is probably made up.

Directed by Andrew Dominik, the 2022 film strips Marilyn Monroe of all dignity and spirit. In actual life, she was a businesswoman who knew how to get what she wanted. She was the center of attention everywhere she went. And her off-the-cuff remarks were often quoted, thoughts that would inspire generations of girls…and even some boys.

“A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her.”
“A woman knows by intuition, or instinct, what is best for herself.”
“We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle.”
“A wise girl knows her limits, a smart girl knows that she has none.”
“Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”

Ana de Armas’ Marilyn Monroe

But girls who look up to Marilyn Monroe won’t see that strong lady in this movie. Ana de Armas portrays her as simply a beautiful blonde who is always unsure of herself. She is a small person in a huge world who is timid and shy. She hesitates and questions herself. Plus, the film keeps reminding us that she had daddy issues. That doesn’t sound like the famous actress who was quoted as saying, “A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her.”

Can even the strongest ladies have weak moments? Yes, they can. Can they be flawed? Of course. But was that who she was all the time?

No, what the film chose to focus on was how she was exploited her whole life. Her childhood is lonely and violent as her mother deals with her demons and on more than one occasion, tries to take Norma Jean’s life. It goes from there to how she got her first acting gig, which as you can imagine is a casting couch type of scene with the president of the film studio. Some reviewers have described it as a rape scene and it definitely fits in with the #MeToo movement that took down Harvey Weinstein. But this was back before any of that.

It seems like the first time Marilyn Monroe ever fell in love was with two men at the same time, Charles “Cass” Chaplin Jr. and Edward G. “Eddy” Robinson Jr. They form a bond, a polyamorous relationship with love and support from all sides. But later in life, even they stab her in the back when they try to bribe Joe DiMaggio, showing him nude photos of his wife.

Briefing over her relationship with JFK, they reduce her to a whore at his beck and call. He flies her to D.C. His secret service practically drags her down the hall and throws her in the room with him. One agent sits outside with the door open while the president is on the phone, no privacy at all while she does as he says. The famous actress in all her glory, to him she’s nothing more than a high class call girl.

She had hopes she would one day meet her father. After she becomes famous, she starts receiving letters from a guy claiming to be him. He keeps promising that they will meet, but that day never comes as her life spirals out of control from alcohol and drug use.

Don’t expect to laugh at all during the movie. Don’t expect to enjoy one moment of it, unless the sex scenes that leave little to the imagination are what you’re into. You won’t leave the theaters feeling good about this one, which is far from the tale past stories have told.

Who Was Marilyn Monroe’s Father?

Gladys Pearl Baker, listed below by her maiden name Gladys Monroe, put her husband down as the father of Norma Jean. Martin Edward Mortensen was his actual name and the misspelling has been reported as being on purpose for some reason. But does that make it an open and shut case?

The story goes that Gladys misspelled her husband’s name because there was a chance Norma Jean wasn’t his. She was having an affair with her superior at RKO pictures, Charles Stanley Gifford. When he found out about her pregnancy, he didn’t want anything to do with her or the baby. But was he the father?

This has been a mystery her whole life and even after her death in 1962. In fact, it wasn’t until film director Francois Pomès who released Marilyn, Her Final Secret earlier this year cracked the case. His method was the investigation of her DNA.

He was able to come across a hair from her head that was preserved by the M.E. who did her autopsy. Pomès then obtained a cheek swab from the great-grandchild of Charles Stanley Gifford. It’s a match. Charles Gifford was her father, but sadly she never knew him and as the story tells, he didn’t want anything to do with her or he would have spoken up a long time ago.

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‘Monster’ Changed My Mind About Jeffrey Dahmer

When I first started hearing about Jeffrey Dahmer, we didn’t have the internet like we do today. I bought my first computer in 1993 and it came with free AOL minutes that I immediately used to access the internet for the first time. So, we didn’t have the capabilities back then of Googling a name and getting the scoop. The internet was far from being the information highway it is today.

Relying solely on the news, I heard about a cannibal who had taken the lives of 17 victims. Without referencing old news to refresh my memory, I believe I was informed that he preyed on the homosexual community. I don’t think part of the story back then was that he was one. He lured men to his apartment to kill them because he was homophobic.

However, when I talk about Monster changing my mind, that’s not it. I like learning the true story. He was an awkward man who didn’t have a healthy appetite for sex. He had deranged thoughts of being in control and completely dominating another person. Plus, his need to take pictures of boys brings more of his disgusting behavior to light.

No, finding out that he was a homosexual is not the part of the story that changed my mind. Learning that Jeffrey Dahmer was a weird dumbass is how my mind has changed about him. From the other sources about him, I thought he was some weird mastermind who knew how to hide bodies and keep himself from being caught. I thought he liked doing experiments on his subjects and he had a working knowledge of biology.

While many of those things have truth to them, Jeffrey Dahmer was a pure dumbass. Two cops knock on his door with one of his victims standing behind them, “Oh sure police, why don’t you come right in and have a look around? My drill with blood on it is over there. I have a bloody mattress in my bedroom. And if you check the nightstand, you’ll find pictures of my victims. Can I help you with anything else?”

No, he was no mastermind. One point the series makes very clear is that it was the incompetence of the police that allowed him to get away with his murders for so long. His neighbor, Glenda Cleveland, called the police on him multiple times. One time, she reported that it sounded like someone was being murdered next door and the officer told her to check. Can you imagine an officer wanting you to check on someone being murdered to make sure?

They didn’t care about the color of a man’s skin and they didn’t care about his orientation. Jeffrey Dahmer was a white man and that’s what they saw. His whiteness was the reason the system turned the other way and allowed him to roam the earth freely while he was committing these heinous acts.

No, he certainly was not a mastermind. Dahmer was a dumbass who was protected by a negligent system.

How did they get him then? If the system was neglecting the murderer walking their streets, how was he finally arrested at all?

This man waltzed them right through the door as if he had nothing to hide. Bodies in drums and pictures showing his victims in various states of amputation. Even if you’re an officer trying to ignore the Black, Asian, and homosexual communities, you can’t ignore a head in a jar. Even if your only witness is a Black man in the hallway crying because he was almost the next victim, you can’t simply sweep that one under the rug. Your hand is forced to make the arrest and Dahmer himself handed that to them on a silver platter.

It was hard for the media not to give the deranged lunatic that much attention, but it spawned the worst in a lot of people. He had fans sending him money, and asking for his autograph. He had borderline lunatics who were encouraged to step into absolute lunacy and take their first victims. If they had watched Monster, they might have felt different because the Jeffrey Dahmer they thought they knew is no hero.

He wasn’t anything special. He was a weird dumbass who could have been caught in his crimes a long time ago if anyone cared enough to look into it. You can look into how he was raised and neglected. You can examine his psyche and come up with all types of excuses. But he was an adult and blaming anyone else but him for his behavior is a flaw we often fall for in cases like this.

He showed too many signs of sanity for them to waive off his behavior on a technicality. Even the court system saw through that weak strategy. He went to prison instead of a mental facility and that’s where he belonged. He should have been given the death penalty because any dime we spent on this man after his conviction was just another crime committed against the families of his victims.

On a final note, I’d like to give a shout-out to Evan Peters. That is one great actor who pulled out everything he had to show us how creepy Dahmer was. He probably needs rehab and some cleansing oils before he can assimilate back into society again, but his role in Monster was on point and he deserves an award for this one.

Watch it now on Netflix!

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Jennifer Lynch And What Was ‘Boxing Helena’

Jennifer Lynch is now known for the Netflix hit Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story and Apple TV’s American Horror Story. But her directing debut wasn’t quite as earth-shaking.

Boxing Helena is a 1993 film starring Sherilyn Fenn as Helena and Julian Sands as Dr. Nick Cavanaugh. It also stars Bill Paxton, Kurtwood Smith, and Art Garfunkel. Yes, the Art Garfunkel of Simon & Garfunkel.

Nick falls in love with Helena but she doesn’t feel the same about him. In fact, she loathes him. As Nick’s obsession grows, he keeps pushing her further away which is why he’s now forced to come up with a gimmick to get her in his home. That’s when the story takes a really twisted turn.

Their exchange in his home causes her to want to get away from him as fast as she can. Running out of the house and into the street, she is hit by a truck.

Nick uses his surgical skills to keep her alive. But she wakes up without any legs. Eventually, he even amputates her arms. Because when you’re infatuated with someone and they’re inclined to run away, you have to amputate their arms and legs to win their affection.

This movie will scratch a certain itch if you have an interest in thrillers that are particularly cringy. The world didn’t quite embrace the movie. They just weren’t ready for it yet. But you are.

You’re ready to watch the strange love affair of a man and his beautiful hostage bound to stay by his side…

______________________________________________________________

Watch The Movie!

______________________________________________________________

While Jennifer Lynch enjoyed no success with that one, she did eventually get back up and brush herself off. She directed Surveillance 11 years later and then went on to get her hands dirty with Chained, Psych, Finding Carter, and The Walking Dead to name a few projects she worked on her way back up.

As Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story heats up the Netflix screens and American Horror Story streams nonstop on Apple TV, he can look back on Boxing Helena now and laugh with the rest of us. It was a weird premise and it takes a deranged writer to come up with that kind of stuff. I’d love to meet them one day.

is credited with writing the story while Jennifer Lynch herself is credited with writing the screenplay.

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