Julia London's Blog, page 86

The Night Before Christmas

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A Visit From St. Nicholas  

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

—Clement Clark Moore

 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from all the Whiners!

Christmas Goulash…

I had several topics I wanted to talk about today, but I had trouble making up my mind (a deadly malady when holiday shopping), so I decided to cover all of them in an abbreviated fashion, since I know that everyone out there is swamped and getting swampier.

First of all, after Dee's Pay It Forward topic last week, I have been a total Do-Gooder, buying caro syrup for my neighbor, who I knew was out, because I was out and asked to borrow hers, but she discovered she was out as well, so when I went to the store, I bought two, only to go home and make divinity, which, of course, after I had bragged about how well I made it, didn't set correctly. It did taste divine, but that is not the point. The bigger point is that I shall not brag in public, because EVERY TIME, God comes back and whaps me for it. People ask why I do not toot my own horn, it is because every time I toot my own horn, it ends up stuck in places that horns don't belong. Thus my non-tooting.

Next, still owing to Dee's Pay it Forward topic last week, we were watching the news and Brian Williams was reporting on Operation Santa in NYC. I knew about Operation Santa and had even loosely tied it into the Christmas anthology I did with the lovely, talented, every-gracious Jacquie D'Alessandro (A BLAZING LITTLE CHRISTMAS, available on Kindle and ebooks everywhere).

I proceeded to dazzle my husband with my knowledge of charitable opportunities in Manhattan, and he said, "We should do it." Still owing to Dee's Pay It Forward topic last week, I said, "That's a great idea!" He said: "Let's go into the City tomorrow and take care of it." (If you knew my DH, you would know he's a total get-it-done now sort of guy, which is a blessing and a curse). I told him I can't because I had a Christmas letter to write, a holiday picture to take and print, a book to finish, a house to clean in prep for family visit next week, one set of galleys due on January 4, and an Art Fact Sheet due on January 6. There were seven more presents to wrap, one set of steaks to order for his co-worker, and grocery shopping and laundry. Possibly noting the nervous twitch to my face, he nodded and said, "I'll do it."

So, the next afternoon, he and my son drove into the city and picked out four letters (Note: They hadn't read Dee's Pay It Forward topic last week, so this was done out of actual good-heartedness, rather than female Superwoman "must be more perfect" syndrome).

Most of the requests were easy to find, except for one. The Barbie Video Girl Doll.

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Nothing like carrying the paparazzi on your back!

Now, I don't know how many of you have young females that play with Barbie's or grandkids, etc, but this is the doll that the FBI had warned parents about because it has a camera embedded in Barbie's tum-tum and automatically posts video of your child on the Internet. Now wanting to been seen as providing kiddie-perv fodder, many stores had actually pulled the doll (I know Target isn't carrying it), but here's the thing. This doll is the IT toy of the season, and the supply is down due to stores not wanting to provide kiddie-perv fodder. Ergo, reduced supply, Tickle-Me Elmo demand. Chaos reigns!

They searched all over the tri-state area. The DH spent an hour on hold with Toys R Us, finally locating it at FAO Schwartz. However, I suggested that he spend the extra dollars, order it online, pay for expedited shipping and get some rest. He looked relieved, and so we ordered it from a large retail organization which shall remain nameless.

Two hours later, still no confirmation of the online order, but we fell into a sound sleep, content that our holiday madness was done. But no. The next morning, there was an email from a large retail organization which shall remain nameless indicating that the doll might not ship in time for the holidays. Okay, still no panic. Instead, we began touring the Walmart and Toys R Us in the region, (you see how now I get sucked into the adventure?). We went to Seacaucus and Paramus and North Bergen, and thought we had lucked out in Paramus, when one clerk remembered someone returning one. We checked every inventory cart in the store, but alas, the doll as not to be found.

At this point, there were three days to the deadline and real panic began to set in. The DH, ever the strategist, scoured the aisles, and put me on the phone to FAO Schwartz to call and find out what time they were open and we would drive into the city and get the doll there. After twenty minutes, the very nice lady at FAO Schwartz said that the doll had been sold out.

We checked one more 24/7 Walmart, but by this time it was nearly midnight and the kids had school the next day, so we headed home, defeated, doll-less, and tired (however, I did find one roll of Bob Evans sausage at the 24/7 Walmart, which was a huge COUP because I can't find Bob Evans or Owens ANYWHERE up here).

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Try finding this one in NYC!

The next morning, the DH abandoned the traditional retail channels and moved into the lower underbelly of Christmas toy desperation: Ebay and Craigslist. He found a nice lady in Jersey, who was willing to part with the doll, for only a mere 100% mark-up (gift wrapping would be extra). Like a rabid dog, my DH pounced and got the doll, bought wrapping paper at Target, and went to the 33rd Street Post Office in Manhattan, knowing that yes, he'd done a great thing.

There was an article in yesterday's USA Today about Operation Santa, and here's a quote:

New York City Post Office's Head Elf Pete Fontana, a Postal Service employee, said the response this year is "quadruple" last year.

"It's like a miracle," Fontana said. "Hundreds and hundreds, maybe even thousands, of packages are just pouring in here. We can't even keep count. We've never had a week like this before."

There are three morals to this story:

One, you never know who Pay it Forward will touch

Two, there are always opportunists. Apparently there is now a Barbie Video Girl porn link and Mattel is NOT HAPPY

Three, at the holiday season, we will always try to do too much, which is why I will not cover the other topics since this one took a lot more space than I assumed it would.

Question of the day: Fun or horrific holiday stories? What's the IT toy for you this year? Feeling stressed and slightly desperate? And remember, the deadline for the Kindle Holiday giveaway is drawing to a close! Comment now, comment often!

At Least I Don't….

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I don't know what this is, but it looks crazy and Christmasy at once

This is the crazy pre-Christmas rush days where everyone is racing around town trying to get it all taken care of.  Hubot and I are out and about today doing our Christmas shopping.  Yes, you read that right–we have managed to procrastinate until the last minute.  I would like to point out that this is more of a problem for one of us than it is the other.  One of us likes to fly by the seat of his pants and one of us likes to plan things a little better.

But instead of complaining about one of us, I have decided to look at the bright side of things.  As in, things could be worse.

At least it is bright and sunny and warm here.  It could be snowing and cold and we'd be trying to drive on white stuff, which is no one's forte in Texas.

At least we have enough money to make a good Christmas.  We could be trying to buy gifts with no money or on credit.

At least we don't have to cook.  We could be making a big Christmas meal for everyone, but lucky us, other people are feeding us.

At least our loved ones are all home.  We could be wishing to see a loved one that wasn't going to make it home.

At least one of us has a blog where she can blow off steam.  We could be arguing about how one of us can't plan his way out of a paper bag.

Now, see?  I am feeling all festive and ready for the day and the inevitable disagreements about what to buy.

Tell us what you At Least is this holiday season.  And Merry Christmas, all you whiners!

Whine Person of the Year 2010

Who will it be? Every year, the Whine Sisters choose our own Whine Person of the Year. Sometimes it's the whiniest person. Sometimes it's the jerkiest. Sometimes it's the best and most outstanding. Some years, we're cheeky with our award, like the years we chose Tom Cruise, and Lynn Spears (Britney's mom) as our Person of the Year. Some years, we're very serious and look for the best, like last year when we awarded our own Kathleen Givens.

It's time to make those nominations! Who stood out for you this year? In a good way, in a funny way, or in a bad way? Whine Person 2010, who will it be?

A few suggestions:

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange.[image error]

Bill Hader, for making me laugh with his superlative impression of Julian Assange (I have no idea if it's a good impression, but he's what people expect Julian Assange might be, and he's pretty hilarious).

Click here to view the embedded video.

Time Magazine's choice for Person of the Year, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.[image error]

Famous for what exactly, oh yeah that sex tape, and then the reality show, Kim Kardashian and her sisters. [image error]

Click here to view the embedded video.

Or how about Tom Brady? Football's Man of the Year for certain, but you don't need to follow football to be talking about Tom. How about that hair! Why the new 'do? Is it to hide the hair plugs? Because he needs hair plugs? Because his supermodel wife won't let him cut it? Or is he showing some love for the Biebs? Hey, there's another one. Justin Bieber could be our person of the year. He's everywhere.

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What do you think? Do you support any of my suggestions, or maybe you have one of your own for Whine Person of the Year?

HONEY-DO LIST

Things have been pretty hectic around Casa D'Alessandro lately—between my husband's work, my deadline, our trip to New York, then copyedits for me and another business trip for my husband, this past weekend has been our first opportunity to catch up on household stuff that needed doing.  And by "household stuff" I mean stuff my husband needs to do.

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This is a job for Superman!

Like hanging up the new dining room chandelier that's been sitting in a box in the garage for almost two months.  And the new living room ceiling fixture that's been sitting right next to the dining room one.  The living room fixture went up without too much trouble.  The dining room light, however, has proven a real problem.  As I'm typing this at midnight Sunday night, my DH and son are STILL in the dining room working on it.  I hear a lot of grunting and cussing.  I decide to remain in the office until someone said, "we're done!"  Based on the groaning and cussing, it's going to be a while.

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"Where do all these %^&*$ wires go?"

Also on the honey-do list is the hanging of two mirrors and bringing a crapload of empty boxes and other assorted trash to the recycle center.  My list of stuff is all about organizing the garage and storage room and catching up on laundry which has somehow managed to get away from me (who's wearing all these clothes??).

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Seriously--WHO is wearing all these clothes??

Hmmm…the boys in the dining room are now not only groaning and cussing, they're saying something about "that nut isn't supposed to be there."  Oh, boy.  That doesn't sound promising.

 What household chores do you have that need doing?  Any you can delegate?  What's your least favorite thing to do around the house? (Mine is laundry–ugh, it never ends!).

Jane Slayre

"Reader, I buried him."

A TIMELESS TALE OF LOVE, DEVOTION… AND THE UNDEAD.

Jane Slayre, our plucky demon-slaying heroine, a courageous orphan who spurns the detestable vampyre kin who raised her, sets out on the advice of her ghostly uncle to hone her skills as the fearless slayer she's meant to be. When she takes a job as a governess at a country estate, she falls head-over-heels for her new master, Mr. Rochester, only to discover he's hiding a violent werewolf in the attic– in the form of his first wife.

Can a menagerie of bloodthirsty, flesh-eating, creatures-of-the-night keep a swashbuckling nineteenth-century lady from the gentleman she intends to marry? Vampyres, zombies, and werewolves transform Charlotte Bronte's unforgettable masterpiece into an eerie paranormal adventure that will delight and terrify.

Wow, have things changed!

A quick post today, as the Holiday Family Visit begins today, but I just couldn't pass up posting this. Especially in a world where folks tweet most ever facet of their life (anyone else find the "what are you doing" tweets funny? Obviously….you're tweeting!), where we've reconnected with old friends through Facebook, and where email provides an almost instantaneous response, this video from back in the day just really amused me.

(I found a reference online to the NeXt computers, so I *think* this video is from around 1988/1989, especially since the mentioned Sandra B show was released in 1990).

I remember the first time I got on the internet. I'd heard of Compuserve and Delphi, and so one day not long after dh and I were married, I sat on the floor of my home office with my incredibly heavy notebook computer and signed up for Delphi. Black screen. Some prompts. It was quite underwhelming. Yeah, we've come a long way, baby….

What about y'all? Any first-time-on-the-net or first computer stories?

A Few of My Favorite Things

[image error]2010 was my Annus Horribilis. Queen Elizabeth II had hers in 1992, the year Andrew and Sarah separated, Windsor Castle burned, Diana's dishy tell-all was published, and Charles and Diana made their separation official. I had mine this year. We won't go into it. I think it has all been said, and what hasn't been said is too personal to share, but… 2010 was quite a surprise, in the worst way. It just wasn't the year I was expecting on Dec. 31 2009, when one of my last few emails from Kathleen Givens said "Here's to us!"

Here's to us! This is still the way it should be. Here's to us! Maybe 2011 will be a bright new beginning. Maybe it won't. I could say I was prepared for any possibility, but I would be lying, because I generally start a new year expecting the best and thinking great new things are on the way. I'm delighted to find that I still have that kind of optimism, and maybe that in itself is a gift.

So in the spirit of appreciating all that I have… Here are a few of my favorite things.

Family, amazing friends, my health– the obvious ones, but "things" would imply not people or dogs, so…

The Keurig single cup coffee brewer (thanks for the tip, Jacquie). I am the only one who drinks coffee at home, and it's such a pain to make a pot just for me. I stopped drinking coffee. Until I got my Keurig. But it makes cocoa, tea, and green tea, too. Love it! [image error]

L.L. Bean's Wicked Good Moccasins. My new around-the-house footwear. Happy feet. (And yes, mine are Fuschia, but they come in many colors).[image error] My Nissan Rogue. It's lacking the bells and whistles of my husband's luxury vehicle, but I don't care. My Rogue and I have bonded over the past four months and I can't imagine being without him, er, it. [image error]

A reliable go-to wine for any occasion. And Reidel O glasses. My go to wine is J. Lohr Paso Robles Cabernet. [image error]

HDTV with DVR. Wow, my time is my own. I don't have to watch a show when it's actually on, or wait for commercials to go refill a drink or walk the dog. Rewind. Fast Forward. And what a picture. I can't believe we waited so long to replace our old TV and get a DVR. High def is pretty amazing. Especially for football games (Go Pats!).

My Tiffany umbrella, a gift from a friend. Automatic open, and automatic close. The automatic close is a life-saver, because I have a silly fear (leftover from childhood) of pinching my fingers in the closing. [image error]

A charm bracelet with aquamarine beads, dolphins, and other sea-creatures. I bought it while on vacation, and it reminds me both of Kathleen Givens (the dolphins) and of a really happy time with my family, which was a rare bright spot in 2010.

Also, my Kindle. I love reading on it because it's not backlit, like a computer screen, so it is an ereader that really reads like a book (only more convenient). I never thought I would like e-reading, but it turns out that I really do. But I still love actual BOOKS, too. You can win a Kindle and a $50 gift card in our holiday contest. All you have to do is comment.

Some of these things are also great gift ideas, if you're still stuck for last minute ideas. What are some of your favorite things?

Pay It Forward

[image error]So I was watching my schmaltzy Christmas movies the other night, and I saw the Liberty Mutual commercial where the woman sees a guy doing something nice and in turn does something for someone else who goes on to do a nice thing for another person and the positive acts go forward until the whole thing comes full circle.  

I love this commercial.  Mainly because I think that in the hustle bustle of our busy lives we often forget how much the little things matter.  Opening a door for someone.   Giving up your seat on the bus to someone older or more frail.  Smiling at the harried person behind the counter at your diner, drug store, department store…whatever.   Saying "thank-you".  Or "excuse me".  Taking the extra minute to do whatever it is that makes another person's day—even if that person is a stranger.  

 You never know when some little thing that you do will have an impact long after you've forgotten all about it.   It's the little things that count.  Seriously.   So go and share a smile with a stranger.   It'll make you feel good, and who knows it might give someone the idea to pass it on.

 So what have you done lately to pay it forward?

Speaking of good will – don't forget that one lucky commentor is going to win a Kindle from the Whine Sisters on January 1st! 

Click here to view the embedded video.

Holiday Yums!

There are a lot of reasons I really enjoy the holidays, but one of the biggies is the food. When I was a kid, my mom would only make homemade candy at the holidays. She made two batches. One for the big family dinner, and one for us. I was in sugar heaven. She made the best divinity and fudge, with pecans from our pecan trees in the yard. I LOVE divinity, but didn't have it much once I moved out of the house (store-bought just isn't the same). So I forgot all about until I got married and found out that DH's favorite candy is – yes, divinity. Being in love, I immediately learned how to make it and mastered the art of really good homemade divinity if I do say so my self. It took me a few tries to get it to set right, but I learned to heat it to the exact perfect temp and then beat that sucker until the KitchenAid started to heave. It's some awesome, awesome stuff.

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Seeing as the kids like fudge more, I usually whip up both. ☺

But besides the candy aspect, there are other foods that I crave at the holidays. A long time ago, I think it was Dee who sent us a tin of popcorn. We aren't that much of a popcorn family, but everybody loved it. We kept it in the living room and when it was cold, we'd be on the couch, watching TV and passing the tin of popcorn. After that, the popcorn tin has become a holiday tradition. English muffins, gingerbread, pumpkin bread, and yes, my favorite, a coconut cream pie.

I don't make as good a pie as my Mom, but someday I figure I'll get there.

There was one year that I made a gingerbread house from a kit, and we had a good time with it, but uh, it was little slapdash, and the gingerbread pieces cracked in a few places, so we stopped that one. However, when we lived in Austin, we used to go see the exhibit of kid-sized gingerbread houses in one of the big hotels. It's amazing to me what bakers can do. Gumdrop roofs and peppermint fences. Trees made of icing…. Wow. And there's never cracked. Obviously I was not born to be a baker.

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Awesome Gingerbread House!

This year, there will only be the four of us at Christmas, so there won't be a huge dinner with Roast Beast and Whoo Pudding, but there'll be some homemade candy, smoked turkey, homemade gingerbread, and a coconut cream pie.

So, what foods make you think of the holidays? Any food traditions that have carried on?