Julia London's Blog, page 84

The Australia Floods

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Something about this AP photo stood out

One little wallaby stranded on a hill. It's almost like a metaphor for the flooding that's going on in Australia right now, which is just unbelievably massive.

We've had flooding in the U.S., of course, and even when it doesn't cover a huge area, it can be devastating. At times it can feel pretty damn personal. When I was in high school, some friends and I got caught in the Memorial Day flood, trying to evacuate from Austin High (on the river) to higher ground. Not huge in retrospect, but scary when your friend/driver barely has his license. And just a few months ago, my home town flooded, and my neighborhood was one of the hardest hit. My heart broke for my neighbors who lived by "dry" creeks and woke up to find water coming onto their beds, then for days having to deal with sorting through rotting, mildewed personal belongings and waiting for the city to deliver more and more trash bins. And, of course, Hurricane Katrina. After working for so many years for the Fifth Circuit in New Orleans, seeing so much of that beautiful, historical, unique city destroyed broke my heart. Even if I'd never been to NOLA, I still imagine I'd have been glued to the television.

[image error]I've never been to Australia, though I want to, so except for several online friends, I don't have a connection. And I no longer get regular television, so there's no news to be glued to. But the internet (and Facebook from friends down under) is gripping, shocking and sad. From what I've read, the flooding covers an area larger than the state of Texas, and as we here in the Lone Star State are proud of reminding people, we have a big damn state. A lot of Australia is sparsely populated, but cities and towns are getting hit hard. One FB friend commented that he saw a restaurant floating down the Brisbane River. Whoa.[image error]

But wallaby's are cute even on little islands, and a floating restaurant might even sound kind of funny. But it's the other stories that rip your heart out. Like 13 year old Jordan who begged rescuers to save his 10 year old brother first, and then was swept away to his death. It's heartbreaking–I'm tearing up just writing about it–but at the same time, it's boldly inspirational. In a world where we often don't give people–or kids–enough credit, to see a kid who by the accounts I've read was absolutely freaking terrified do something so selfless as to make sure his brother got rescued first–that's a hero, folks.

I think there are probably a lot of heroes down under right now, helping each other out through this ordeal. I tried to find an organization soliciting donations for flood relief in Australia to put into the blog, but when I tried the donation site on the Red Cross page that links to the Queensland donation page, I kept getting errors. If anyone has a link to a donation site, mention it in the comments and I'll copy it into the body of the post.

Stay safe, stay dry, stay warm.

At Last! Presenting Whiner of the Year 2010!

Some years, like last year, we give the award as an honor. 2009′s Whine Person of the Year was Ms. Kathleen Givens, beloved class act, grace personified. Also see previous winner Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger.

Some years, like most years, we give the award in the snarky spirit of calling out true whiners or those worthy of contempt. There was the very first Whine winner, Tom Cruise (the year he jumped on Oprah's couch and called Matt Lauer "glib."). Or Lynne Spears, Britney's mom, the year Brit had a breakdown and younger sister Jamie Lee had a baby, but Lynne was still writing a parenting advice manual (yet to be published, surprise!).

This year? We're not feeling the Pollyanna vibe. Well, admittedly, some of us are and there was much debate if we should give the award as an honor to Betty White or in the spirit of snark to– that's right, snark won. Why? Because it's my day to blog the winner (muwhahaha). Oh, you're still waiting for the big announcement. Drumroll please…

Whiner(s) of the Year 2010: The Kardashians!

[image error]Totally kool, right? Well, they're all pictured but it's sisters Kim(in white), Kourtney (in the menswear suit), and Khloe (peach ruffles) up for the award. It all started with a white bronco.

You remember? OJ's getaway car! Yes, that white Bronco.

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Kardashian's Kar

It was OJ friend Robert Kardashian's vehicle assisting OJ in that fateful drive into what could have been the sunset but ended up jail, and trial. Kardashian, father of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and Robert Jr, was divorced from wife Kris when he took over OJ's defense. Kris went on to marry former Olympics Golden Boy Bruce Jenner, stepdad of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and Robert Jr, and dad to two younger daughters with Kris (also with K names). Robert passed away. Konfused?

Well, don't be. Because all that has very little to do with the Kardashian Sisters' true claim to fame. Which is? Kim made a sex tape!

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Oh, kome on now, Kim, don't look so shocked!

She was Paris Hilton's good friend, and she took a page out of the Paris playbook to finding fame: make a sex tape, and pretend to want it stopped (to get more attention– OMG, someone's trying to sell my private sex tape!) while actually negotiating for its eventual licensed and approved release. Klever!

Kim's sex tape (with singer Brandy's brother Ray J) and her trademark kurves apparently kaused kuite a stir. Apparently. Because before you know it, E! network was giving Kim a kontract for a reality show with her sisters.

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Kourtney, mother of Mason with boyfriend Scott Disick

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Khloe, newly a redhead (Kute!), is married to basketball star Lamar Odom.

And they kontinue to make headlines by… not doing much of anything really. E! likes ratings and so they are sure to send the Kardashians to all the big parties and premieres and of kourse, they have publicists getting kreative to stir up the drama and make sure these girls stay in the tabloids for still not much of anything.

Kourtney fights with her baby daddy. News! Khloe dyes her hair. News! Kim goes on a date with a new guy. News! She even had a little flirtation going with hot flavor of the month Justin Bieber. Guaranteed news! And it's all one big media manipulation to keep the klassy, konservative Kardashians front and kenter , er, center (sorry, got karried away).

The biggest Kardashian whine of the year? From Kim, on regretting getting naked for Playboy. How she finally got over it? By posing naked for W magazine! And then about three more. I'm sure she feels much better now. Their other big regret?

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No, not the outfits. Though the turban's got to go!

Agreeing to sponsor a kredit kard for kids or adults with little to no, or bad, kredit. The terms were so unfavorable to the konsumer that the Konnecticut attorney general's office got involved and threatened legal action. And before you know it, the Kardashians parted ways with the kard kompany, which is now suing them. More news! Those girls are always in the news. The latest. Is Khloe preggers? Find out soon on her new show, a spin off of her own. Wow, E! network really loves these Kardashians.

Let's all wish them a hearty kongratulations for kapturing our attention this year (who could avoid them) and wish them a happy early retirement. I've seen enough. (Literally Kim, enough! Keep your klothes on!).

What do you think of the Whiners of the Year? Would you have chosen differently?

At Last! Presenting Whiner of the Year 2010!

Some years, like last year, we give the award as an honor. 2009′s Whine Person of the Year was Ms. Kathleen Givens, beloved class act, grace personified. Also see previous winner Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger.

Some years, like most years, we give the award in the snarky spirit of calling out true whiners or those worthy of contempt. There was the very first Whine winner, Tom Cruise (the year he jumped on Oprah's couch and called Matt Lauer "glib."). Or Lynne Spears, Britney's mom, the year Brit had a breakdown and younger sister Jamie Lee had a baby, but Lynne was still writing a parenting advice manual (yet to be published, surprise!).

This year? We're not feeling the Pollyanna vibe. Well, admittedly, some of us are and there was much debate if we should give the award as an honor to Betty White or in the spirit of snark to– that's right, snark won. Why? Because it's my day to blog the winner (muwhahaha). Oh, you're still waiting for the big announcement. Drumroll please…

Whiner(s) of the Year 2010: The Kardashians!

[image error]Totally kool, right? Well, they're all pictured but it's sisters Kim(in white), Kourtney (in the menswear suit), and Khloe (peach ruffles) up for the award. It all started with a white bronco.

You remember? OJ's getaway car! Yes, that white Bronco.

[image error]

Kardashian's Kar

It was OJ friend Robert Kardashian's vehicle assisting OJ in that fateful drive into what could have been the sunset but ended up jail, and trial. Kardashian, father of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and Robert Jr, was divorced from wife Kris when he took over OJ's defense. Kris went on to marry former Olympics Golden Boy Bruce Jenner, stepdad of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and Robert Jr, and dad to two younger daughters with Kris (also with K names). Robert passed away. Konfused?

Well, don't be. Because all that has very little to do with the Kardashian Sisters' true claim to fame. Which is? Kim made a sex tape!

[image error]

Oh, kome on now, Kim, don't look so shocked!

She was Paris Hilton's good friend, and she took a page out of the Paris playbook to finding fame: make a sex tape, and pretend to want it stopped (to get more attention– OMG, someone's trying to sell my private sex tape!) while actually negotiating for its eventual licensed and approved release. Klever!

Kim's sex tape (with singer Brandy's brother Ray J) and her trademark kurves apparently kaused kuite a stir. Apparently. Because before you know it, E! network was giving Kim a kontract for a reality show with her sisters.

[image error]

Kourtney, mother of Mason with boyfriend Scott Disick

[image error]

Khloe, newly a redhead (Kute!), is married to basketball star Lamar Odom.

And they kontinue to make headlines by… not doing much of anything really. E! likes ratings and so they are sure to send the Kardashians to all the big parties and premieres and of kourse, they have publicists getting kreative to stir up the drama and make sure these girls stay in the tabloids for still not much of anything.

Kourtney fights with her baby daddy. News! Khloe dyes her hair. News! Kim goes on a date with a new guy. News! She even had a little flirtation going with hot flavor of the month Justin Bieber. Guaranteed news! And it's all one big media manipulation to keep the klassy, konservative Kardashians front and kenter , er, center (sorry, got karried away).

The biggest Kardashian whine of the year? From Kim, on regretting getting naked for Playboy. How she finally got over it? By posing naked for W magazine! And then about three more. I'm sure she feels much better now. Their other big regret?

[image error]

No, not the outfits. Though the turban's got to go!

Agreeing to sponsor a kredit kard for kids or adults with little to no, or bad, kredit. The terms were so unfavorable to the konsumer that the Konnecticut attorney general's office got involved and threatened legal action. And before you know it, the Kardashians parted ways with the kard kompany, which is now suing them. More news! Those girls are always in the news. The latest. Is Khloe preggers? Find out soon on her new show, a spin off of her own. Wow, E! network really loves these Kardashians.

Let's all wish them a hearty kongratulations for kapturing our attention this year (who could avoid them) and wish them a happy early retirement. I've seen enough. (Literally Kim, enough! Keep your klothes on!).

What do you think of the Whiners of the Year? Would you have chosen differently?

Mii Fit – or at least I'm trying!

[image error]So for Christmas I got a Wii Fit – a hint maybe??? Actually, I'm hoping it will stimulate not only a little living room action but maybe a venture into the real world of exercising which I have despised since I was in grade school and they asked us to run – just for the fun of it. 

Now I come from some serious athletic genes.  My dad was seventh in the nation in the quarter mile in his day.  Unfortunately, I did not inherit them.  In fact, I've always been the standing (or falling) joke in my family when it comes to athletic prowess.  (Brain power is my forte).   But I've reached an age (which shall remain undisclosed except that it's all over the internet) where I find my body parts are quite frankly wearing out.  I've already had to have an Achilles repaired.  And I've realized that the only way I've going to preserve what I've got is to get with it.  Granted a couple of decades late, but hey, better late than never. 

Enter the Wii Plus.  Exercise lite that doesn't require getting dressed and putting on make-up to do it.  But first I had to get the machine up and running.   And even though it's quite small—so is my living room and therefore it requires a bit of rearranging to make space for movement.   And then, once it's set-up, I have to set my Mii up.   And let me tell you right now, that I don't[image error] think Nintendo is making any friends when they weigh you and then blow your poor little Mii up to the size of the Michelin Tire Woman.  SERIOUSLY!  

The little onscreen Wii then goes on to tell me exactly how overweight I am (as if I didn't already know) and then presents my BMI which suggests that I should be checking out real estate in Shady Gardens.  So I was absolutely certain that my "Wii" age was going to be 103.  But low and behold it was only slightly above my real age.  Alright so we're back to motivation.  

Next up I decided on a male trainer (male in a very "Tron" kind of androgynous way).  I had an experience with a real life female trainer who was a delightful person in real life but her cheerleader like peppy "Go Dee" eventually made me want to kill her.    Anyway, this dude, is not overly effusive.  And his demonstrations are fairly easy to follow – although being comprised of pixels he moves much better than I do.   

[image error]So it was finally time to try an exercise.  I figured I'd start easy.  Yoga.  First off I did a breathing exercise which I flunked completely because apparently you're supposed to breathe through your nose and I can't even do that.  Next up I did a thing where you put your hands over your head (check) and then bend to the right and to the left while breathing.  I managed it without incident.   So I decided to break out and try an real exercise.  Again, trying not to go overboard, (pun not intended) I chose a twisty thing where you swing right and left and then diagonally.  It was the diagonal that got me.  Apparently, I haven't moved in that direction in a very very long time.   

But not to be daunted, I decided to try some of the "games".   Head butting (as in Soccer) is not my forte.  I missed almost every ball and then managed to hit all the pandas and shoes.   If you have no idea what I'm talking about—get a Wii Fit Plus.   Next up, I tried Skateboarding which I'm only slightly better at –and that's not saying a lot.  Demoralized I decided for a last ditch effort at hulahooping.  And lo and behold—I got four stars.  I am a kick ass hulahooper, although I still haven't figured out how to consistently catch the thrown hula-hoops. [image error]

After my session my bank reported that I'd burned a grand total of 72 calories.   Guess I'm going to have to up my game.  And I will… as soon as I can straighten up again.  My lower back and stomach are so sore the muscles are refusing to straighten when I stand up… so I look like a little old stooped woman now as I hobble across the room.   Maybe I'm supposed to live vicariously through my bubbly overweight Wii.  She was running around the screen, high fiving like there was no tomorrow.  Of course, I haven't turned it on since so maybe she's in pain too.  I hope so.  I sincerely hope so. 

What about you?   Do you have a Wii Plus?  Any advice?  What's your favorite real exercise (and walking to the refrigerator counts!)

A Light at Winter's End

Whose baby is he?

Hannah has always done everything right: getting married, having a baby, caring for her mother in her final days, all the while performing impeccably in a high-level job. Her sister Holly is the college dropout, the one who works at a coffee shop and wants to be a songwriter. Then one day perfect Hannah suddenly—without explanation—leaves her baby with Holly and disappears. What Holly knows about babies is laughable, but she takes little Mason to the empty family homestead, where she meets Wyatt Clark, a close-mouthed, handsome cowboy who is mysteriously good with babies. And then, just as Holly can no longer imagine her life without either Mason or Wyatt, Hannah returns for her son. . . .

"A passionate arresting story you wish would never end." Robyn Carr, NYT bestselling author of Promise Canyon

Memoir Facts We Already Know

I read recently that Johnny Weir, the famously flamboyant figure skater, has a memoir coming out, in which he outs himself as being gay.  I had a good laugh at that because of all the things I didn't know about Johnny Weir, the one thing I DID know was that he is gay.

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This is like me writing a memoir to reveal to the world that I am a middle-aged suburban woman.  Or that I color my hair.  Seriously, now, Johnny and I don't need to write memoirs that would take up valuable shelf space that we whiners need for our fiction books by stating the obvious.  The very obvious.  Very.

Here are some other obvious things that don't need to be revealed in anyone's memoir:

"You betcha, I want to be President."  Sarah Palin

"Hollywood doesn't take me seriously as an actress."  Jennifer Aniston

"I like, want to be really freakin' famous."  Snooki

"I am proud of my smokin' body. "  Brett Farve

What are some other memoirs that don't need to be written?

About the Book: The How-To Guide to JUST GIVE IN

I'm currently writing JUST GIVE IN, Book 3 in the Hart of Texas trilogy, and rather than talk about a past book, I thought I'd blog about the one I'm working on now. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth (think root canal) to write a book, but sometimes they are like a trip to Disneyworld. All fun and laughs and it's not hard to stay motivated to write because I'm enjoying the story so much. This book is that much fun.

I think a big part of the reason is because of my hero. He's completely old-school. A man of few words, resourceful, brave, doesn't complain, and he is very much an engineer who takes things that people have thrown out and fixes them, or else crafts them into something new.

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Wine Bottle Lights

When I grew up, we didn't have a lot of money, and so my father would make the rounds at the junkyard, picking up scrap and building us toys. We were the only kids on the block with a rickshaw. I have a stool made out of a metal tractor seat. We have a lamp in the living room that's a painted water pump, and then there's the bell. When I was a kid, we had this HUGE bell with a hand crank. When Mom wanted us home, she'd ring the bell and the entire neighborhood knew that supper was on the O'Reilly's table.

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Not quite the O'Reilly richshaw, but close

I love that ability to fix things, to make things, to make a beercan-shooting cannon out of the lemons that someone else has thrown in the trash. The research for this book has been a blast, and I've been playing with circuits and wires and LEDS and batteries.

My father taught me how to fix things. I can follow a set of instructions, I'm pretty good with tools, but I still don't understand how an engine works, and I can't visualize in 3-D like my father or my DH can.

I love the engineers of the world. My Dad's an engineer, my DH can fix pretty much anything, and thus, my hero in JUST GIVE IN. He can fix anything. He can craft anything. He's simply the best.

And by the way, on Tuesday my father turns ninety years old. He still goes to the junkyard twice a week, digging for things to fix, or scrap metal to resell, or old computers that he can cannibalize. Sometimes the best heroes are the ones closest to home.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

So, what's the verdict here? Any other engineers out there? Can you fix things, or do you hire out?

Dressing by the rules of a 4 Year Old

Not me.  Katie Holmes.  I saw one of those gossip headlines yesterday that Suri Cruise tells her mom what to wear and of course I had to follow it.  If the 4 year old in my life told me what to wear, I'd be dressed in super-hero undies and a suit of armor.  No thanks.

I don't believe Katie Holmes.  I mean, seriously, does this woman look like a 4 year-old dressed her?  [image error]But according to the rags, apparently, Suri is such a fashionista at the age of four that she advises her mom what to wear.  For herself, she prefers dresses to pants, and she has a Ferragamo purse.  You may recall that Suri also started the fashion rage of little girls wearing high heels.  [image error][image error]

Now, in Suri's defense, high heels for little girls were around when I was a kid, so that's not really new.  The difference is, we used them as dress up, not every day street wear.  Oh, and she has an iPad!  Personally speaking, I don't like to give expensive tech gadgets to the four year-olds around here, because they tend to throw stuff down the stairs to see what will happen, or press lots of buttons at once, or leave it on the floor and let Moose have a go at it.

I am really fascinated by the lives of the rich and famous and their four year olds.  There is Shiloh Pitt, who dresses like a boy.  Her mother says she insists.  [image error]

Okay, this week we had a five year old, a four year old, and a three year old in the house.  Not one of them insisted on wearing anything in particular.  They all put on whatever was in front of them and didn't care if it matched, or where it came from, or if it was boy or girl clothes.  No, I am not suggesting that Shiloh wear anything else, or making any judgments about her here–the kid is four.  But I am suggesting that maybe, because she is four, she doesn't insist so much as point to what colors she likes.  Maybe she would have pointed to the clown suit in the room had it been there.  That would be fun, too, wouldn't it, Shiloh?

And giving iPads to four year-olds:  They make tech gadgets for kids that are a little bit more rugged.  What's wrong with the V-tech version?   Maybe if I had gobs of money, I wouldn't care, but I think somewhere in there I would still think, is that really necessary at the age of four or three years?

Imagine your 4 year-old self dressing your mother.  What would she have been wearing?  Mine would have been wearing a Betty Rubble dress.  And would you give a four year old an iPad, even if money were no object?

TRYING NEW THINGS

As a rule I don't like to make New Year's resolutions.  Too much pressure–I already have enough of that with deadlines, and too much sense of failure if I don't follow through, and who needs that?  But I did promise myself that in 2011 I'd try new things, and I'm proud to report that I've already done so!

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I did it!

 

First new thing I tried is country line dancing, and I have my mom to thank!  Mom lives in a retirement community in Florida and inherited the line dancing program when the former line dance leader decided she didn't want to do it any longer.  So when my parents visited us for the holidays, I had access to the Palm Bay Line Dance Leader and I took full advantage.  Seriously, you should see my mom do the Boot Scootin' Boogie!  She's eighty-six years young and is really amazing.  She also taught me Elvira, Love Potion #9, Achy Breaky Heart, and Black Velvet.  She not only taught me, she taught my DH as well (he does a mean Achy Breaky Heart, folks!).  We had so much fun, we've arranged to host a class in our neighborhood's clubhouse to teach our neighbors.  Yee-haw, y'all!

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The other new thing I FINALLY tried (I've wanted to for years) was to sew something a person could wear.  I've made curtains in the past—but no one wears curtains, so that didn't count.  Since my only previous attempt to sew clothing was way back in 8th grade (and it didn't go very well), I decided to start out with something really easy.  I choose a pattern for pajama pants.  And that's when I discovered that just because the pattern's name is Simplicity doesn't mean it's simple!  The instructions SUCKED!  Thank goodness my mom was there to help me decipher the steps because they were NOT well explained at all.  Clearly those people at Simplicity patterns don't actually think that anyone with NO sewing experience will ever buy their product.  It took some doing, but I am proud to announce that my husband is now the owner of a pair of pajama pants bearing the University of Georgia logo. 

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Not as simple as Simplicity would lead you to believe!

They fit him quite well.  Of course, he could gain fifty pounds and grow a foot and a half and they'd STILL fit him quite well. (Hey—I made the extra-large size to be on the safe side, 'cause who likes tight pj bottoms, right??). He says he loves them and I love him for saying so.  I'm hoping they'll shrink in the wash, especially since I was apparently supposed to pre-wash the material (who knew?).

Next up on my list of new things to try is to prepare some recipes I've never attempted before—ones with fancy words I can't pronounce in them.  How about you?  Have you tried anything new lately?  Is there something you'd like to try if you had the time/money/opportunity?  Do you have a tried and true something that you'd never consider changing it because it's just absolutely perfect for you?

Gleefully, blissfully, clueless…

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I'm a fan of Glee, though I arrived late to the party. When the show premiered, the pilot was free on iTunes for a while, and I downloaded it…and it sat and sat and sat in my stack of shows I haven't gotten around to watching. (Still in there, Castle and Torchwood — both of which I hear are great.)

Anyway, I figured I'd like it; love musicals, love musical theater, love showtunes, etc. But I never got around to it.

Then my oldest daughter got her ears pierced for her 9th birthday, and we went to Claire's (which is, in my opinion, a majorly "tweenish" store, though in retrospect, maybe it's more teen than tween).

In any event, it's overflowing with Glee stuff. Yeah, that place is Glee-ful. And as I think I've mentioned here, my girls like musicals. They sing along with Evita. They've seen Wicked a scary number of times (again to San Antonio in February!), they love Singing In the Rain, etc. etc.

I figure we could start watching the show together.

So one night when their daddy's not home, I start it up—and pretty much immediately realized that was A Big Mistake. Despite burning up the racks at Claire's, this ain't a show for the kidlets. Not the 9 year old, and definitely not the 7 year old. And, yeah, that's fine. But why is it out there looking like it's a kid thing?

I don't get it. I just don't get it.

Same with Happy Meal Toys for PG-13 movies. Honestly, are 13 year olds really eating Happy Meals (maybe, but I hope not). And should my 7 year old really go see Iron Man (okay, I don't actually remember if there was an Iron Man Happy Meal toy, but I know there have been ones that didn't match the movie rating. But I'm making a point here…)

I still love Glee. I think it's a hoot, and I can't wait for it to return from hiatus. I'm not even bummed that I can't watch it with the kids yet. But the marketing still bugs me. It feels almost like a bait and switch.

Anything out there that seemed like one thing when you first became aware of it, then turned out to be different? Anything you can think of where the marketing just isn't quite right? Now's the time to air your grievances!