Mark R. Hunter's Blog, page 87
May 19, 2015
The Perfect Yard Sale Weather, and Other MIracles
I’ve had a few outdoor book signings, which always brought the obvious worry-the weather would stink. It’s related to the garage sale rule: If you hold a garage sale, the weather will be horrible for a garage sale.
(I just made that rule up, but I’m not the only one who’s noticed.)
For my daughter’s yard sale, the strangest thing is happening: If the weather holds, it will be perfect weather. For Thursday through Saturday mostly sunny, temperatures high sixties to low seventies. (This is assuming we survive the next couple of frigid days, of course. There’s no time of the year when I like getting this close to a record low.)
If I sell some of my new books and some used books, I’ll be happy. If I don’t lose my whole stock to a downpour, I’ll be pleasantly shocked … as opposed to the way I’m usually shocked.
(I just made that rule up, but I’m not the only one who’s noticed.)
For my daughter’s yard sale, the strangest thing is happening: If the weather holds, it will be perfect weather. For Thursday through Saturday mostly sunny, temperatures high sixties to low seventies. (This is assuming we survive the next couple of frigid days, of course. There’s no time of the year when I like getting this close to a record low.)
If I sell some of my new books and some used books, I’ll be happy. If I don’t lose my whole stock to a downpour, I’ll be pleasantly shocked … as opposed to the way I’m usually shocked.
May 17, 2015
Book Signing ... at a Garage Sale?
Surrealists riddle: What do you call a book signing that’s not a book signing? A yard sale.
Told you it was surreal. No, seriously, it’s more a yard sale that I’ll have some books at: Both old and new books, and old books. I’m on a surrealist roll!
My daughter’s having a yard sale at the same time as the Kendallville city-wide garage sale, May 21-23, at her place at 521 East Diamond Street (I’m told the people next door will be having one, too). The main attraction will, of course, be the yard sale, with stuff like kid’s and adult’s clothes, and extras like twin bed headboards and one of those sandbox turtles that make you wonder if turtles would be at home in there. Also a double stroller because—twins.
Anyway, I’ve already taken over four boxes of old books from around the house, and as you avid readers have already guessed, yes—it did break my heart. But I need to de-stuff myself (not literally—ew), and it was time for me to give up on the idea that I’d someday go through and read all those books again.
Also, Charis has graciously allowed me to sell the books I actually wrote, both the newest one of my older ones, and thus the second lame surrealist joke. So, it can also be called a book signing, or quasi-book signing. I’ll probably be there from after school until around 5 p.m. both Thursday and Friday, but I’ll firm up the times for me and the sale as we get closer. Stop and browse! Just because I don’t need more stuff doesn’t mean you don’t … especially if you have kids.
Told you it was surreal. No, seriously, it’s more a yard sale that I’ll have some books at: Both old and new books, and old books. I’m on a surrealist roll!
My daughter’s having a yard sale at the same time as the Kendallville city-wide garage sale, May 21-23, at her place at 521 East Diamond Street (I’m told the people next door will be having one, too). The main attraction will, of course, be the yard sale, with stuff like kid’s and adult’s clothes, and extras like twin bed headboards and one of those sandbox turtles that make you wonder if turtles would be at home in there. Also a double stroller because—twins.
Anyway, I’ve already taken over four boxes of old books from around the house, and as you avid readers have already guessed, yes—it did break my heart. But I need to de-stuff myself (not literally—ew), and it was time for me to give up on the idea that I’d someday go through and read all those books again.
Also, Charis has graciously allowed me to sell the books I actually wrote, both the newest one of my older ones, and thus the second lame surrealist joke. So, it can also be called a book signing, or quasi-book signing. I’ll probably be there from after school until around 5 p.m. both Thursday and Friday, but I’ll firm up the times for me and the sale as we get closer. Stop and browse! Just because I don’t need more stuff doesn’t mean you don’t … especially if you have kids.
Three Hoodies Save My Book
Three Hoodies review The No-Campfire Girls. Or possibly the author of Three Hoodies Save the World reviews it … it gets confusing in the world of fiction writing.
http://threehoodies.blogspot.com/2015...
All six Amazon reviews of the book can be found on—well, on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/No-Campfire-Gir...
http://threehoodies.blogspot.com/2015...
All six Amazon reviews of the book can be found on—well, on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/No-Campfire-Gir...
May 11, 2015
Passing On Review
I know what you want: You want to know what other people have to think about Slightly Off the Mark: The Unpublished Columns. And who can blame you?
What, you don’t want that? You want … brownies? Well, okay, go get a snack and then come back.
Here’s a review by author DM Yates, who’s more than just a trophy wife:
https://dmyatesjournalings.wordpress....
She compares me to Mark Twain, despite the fact that I’ve never piloted a riverboat, and I look terrible in white. We’re both Marked, though.
Here’s a review by Kay Kauffman, who has a signed affidavit that we’re related by neither blood nor bank account:
http://suddenlytheyalldied.com/2015/0...
Kay insists the book is chock full of laughs, as opposed to initial reports that she laughed ‘till she choked, and a three day investigation by the Wapello County Sheriff Department has confirmed this.
Those and two other reviews can be found on Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
The other two reviews are by Barry Parham, who himself is a humor writer and thus should know better, and Joleen Naylor, whose horror stories about vampires make her an expert on politics.
By Federal statute Goodreads can only list books that are good reads, as determined through a review by the Mount Airy, North Carolina, Police Department. Writers who violate this statute can be thrown into a weekend drunk tank with Otis, a long-term convict rumored to have both body odor and severe halitosis. These reviews can, then, be viewed with a high degree of accuracy.
What, you don’t want that? You want … brownies? Well, okay, go get a snack and then come back.
Here’s a review by author DM Yates, who’s more than just a trophy wife:
https://dmyatesjournalings.wordpress....
She compares me to Mark Twain, despite the fact that I’ve never piloted a riverboat, and I look terrible in white. We’re both Marked, though.
Here’s a review by Kay Kauffman, who has a signed affidavit that we’re related by neither blood nor bank account:
http://suddenlytheyalldied.com/2015/0...
Kay insists the book is chock full of laughs, as opposed to initial reports that she laughed ‘till she choked, and a three day investigation by the Wapello County Sheriff Department has confirmed this.
Those and two other reviews can be found on Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
The other two reviews are by Barry Parham, who himself is a humor writer and thus should know better, and Joleen Naylor, whose horror stories about vampires make her an expert on politics.
By Federal statute Goodreads can only list books that are good reads, as determined through a review by the Mount Airy, North Carolina, Police Department. Writers who violate this statute can be thrown into a weekend drunk tank with Otis, a long-term convict rumored to have both body odor and severe halitosis. These reviews can, then, be viewed with a high degree of accuracy.
May 8, 2015
Off the Mark, and On Video
My video show page is up at Scher Maihem Studios. Yeah, you heard that right! Listen to my March column, “A Good Day Having Written”, read by me (because we couldn’t afford James Earl Jones), with sound effects and animation by the same people who print me in the Kendallville Mall. I mean print my column, not dust me for prints … never mind.
http://www.schermaihemstudios.com/sli...
Now, this is the pilot show, so if I don’t get good ratings we might not make the fall schedule. (Kidding! I think.) They have other video on their page, including a new show, “Meet Black Pine Animals”, so check it out!
http://www.schermaihemstudios.com/sli...
Now, this is the pilot show, so if I don’t get good ratings we might not make the fall schedule. (Kidding! I think.) They have other video on their page, including a new show, “Meet Black Pine Animals”, so check it out!
May 5, 2015
Dejunking feels good ... when it's finished. I assume.
So far I have a car full for recycling, several boxes for my daughter’s garage sale on May 21-23, and three large bags of trash—and I’ve only just started de-junking. On my schedule, this could take the rest of the year. But maybe I’ll sell some books at the garage sale … both the ones I wrote and the ones I read.
On a not-unrelated note, I should probably research remedies for back pain.
On a not-unrelated note, I should probably research remedies for back pain.
April 30, 2015
Make the terrorists itch
Remember, every time you laugh a terrorist starts itching in a place they can’t reach.
Make the terrorists itchy: Buy a funny book.
http://markrhunter.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Slightly-off-Ma...
Make the terrorists itchy: Buy a funny book.
http://markrhunter.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Slightly-off-Ma...
Stuff About Junk, or: Clamoring About Clutter
I’m going to go out and do fun spring stuff for a while!
Okay, not really. But my daughter has delayed her garage sale until Kendallville’s city-wide sale, May 22-24, so I’m going to take the opportunity to go through the whole house for anything decent enough to sell that I haven’t touched in recent years. If it’s not decent—trash. There’s a lot of it. (My new books will also be for sale at her sale—not quite a book signing, as I’ll only be there part of the time.)
Going through so much stuff confirmed what I already knew: I have too much stuff. Isn’t that something? I live in a house that was built originally with very little storage space, because back then extra stuff was just not that important. Today people rent storage units, because they’ve got too much stuff they never use. It’s kind of silly.
So, I have pledged to get rid of a lot of my stuff. I’m un-junking, de-hoarding, messing with my mess, Avengers de-assembling. (Oh, and I’m going to see The Avengers, too.) I’m even getting rid of some of my books. No, really. I’ll cry a little, but I’ll get over it.
So I’ll be around, but not as much until my de-stuffing stuff and home maintenance things are done. I suppose I’ll get a column out of it. Meanwhile, if you’re my fans, friends, or innocent bystanders, spread the word about my books for sale, please! Then I can buy more stuff. (Kidding! It’s bill paying time.)
Okay, not really. But my daughter has delayed her garage sale until Kendallville’s city-wide sale, May 22-24, so I’m going to take the opportunity to go through the whole house for anything decent enough to sell that I haven’t touched in recent years. If it’s not decent—trash. There’s a lot of it. (My new books will also be for sale at her sale—not quite a book signing, as I’ll only be there part of the time.)
Going through so much stuff confirmed what I already knew: I have too much stuff. Isn’t that something? I live in a house that was built originally with very little storage space, because back then extra stuff was just not that important. Today people rent storage units, because they’ve got too much stuff they never use. It’s kind of silly.
So, I have pledged to get rid of a lot of my stuff. I’m un-junking, de-hoarding, messing with my mess, Avengers de-assembling. (Oh, and I’m going to see The Avengers, too.) I’m even getting rid of some of my books. No, really. I’ll cry a little, but I’ll get over it.
So I’ll be around, but not as much until my de-stuffing stuff and home maintenance things are done. I suppose I’ll get a column out of it. Meanwhile, if you’re my fans, friends, or innocent bystanders, spread the word about my books for sale, please! Then I can buy more stuff. (Kidding! It’s bill paying time.)
April 26, 2015
Print books are in. With words, and everything!
The print run of Slightly Off the Mark: The Unpublished Columns is here, but we could run out quickly! (Not really, we’ll just order more.)
You can get a signed copy on my website at http://www.markrhunter.com/ using PayPal, or do that whole credit card thing. Or, you can get a print copy on Amazon and pair it with the Kindle version at half price. Or, just shoot me a line and we’ll make arrangements.
On that same website page, sign up for our mailing list and get notifications, information, humor, and stuff. (Stuff to be announced.) I’ll endeavor to be entertaining.
Needless to say, order any of my other books there, too! I’m not all about the funny. Some people feel very strongly about that.
You can get a signed copy on my website at http://www.markrhunter.com/ using PayPal, or do that whole credit card thing. Or, you can get a print copy on Amazon and pair it with the Kindle version at half price. Or, just shoot me a line and we’ll make arrangements.
On that same website page, sign up for our mailing list and get notifications, information, humor, and stuff. (Stuff to be announced.) I’ll endeavor to be entertaining.
Needless to say, order any of my other books there, too! I’m not all about the funny. Some people feel very strongly about that.
April 24, 2015
The Official Announcement, Now That You Already Know
This is what I was going to post to get the ball rolling on the release of Slightly Off the Mark: The Unpublished Columns (which are now the published columns). But now it’s up on Amazon, and on the website, and … we just got our delivery of print copies!
“I turned around a few minutes later, walked into the Albion New Era office with the aura of confidence and skill, and said ‘I changed my mind. Pleasssseeeee!!!!!!’”
--Slightly Off the Mark, from “Why I write, or: I hate needles”.
Thus began my career as a humor columnist, which resulted in some 1,150,000 words over the next quarter of a century. Now, although my column has moved to the monthly Kendallville Mall, I’ve collected all my unpublished earlier columns into one volume.
Because “volume” sounds somehow more official than “book”.
It’s a short book, but my fourteen regular readers have short attention spans, so it’s all good. Now I’m asking you, my other hundred or so readers, to purchase Slightly off the Mark and then actually read it, and then tell all their friends. It’s a lot to ask, but I have no shame.
You can find links to all the ways you can get the Slightly Off the Mark on my website, www.markrhunter.com, or at regular internet places, and soon I hope to have news on such things as book signings and other places where you can get a copy. Or, knock on my door, or stop me in the street. Not in the middle of the street … maybe wait for me on the sidewalk.
To show you what you’ll be treated to—I hope that’s the right word—the book is divided into sections including:
Part One: because someone has to go first
Part Deux: the final second
Part Three: medical stuff, and things
Part Four: the writer’s life for me, or: Brother, can you spare a dime?
Part Five: how do you spell miscellaneous?
Part Six: part two of the writer’s life, or: Six into two makes … something
Part Seven: politics, or: Maybe you shouldn’t read this section—(my editor didn’t)
Part Eight: What’s the sundry word for miscellaneous?
If that’s not enough for you to part with your Starbucks money, at the end of the book you’ll find the first chapter of my upcoming space opera novel, Beowulf: In Harm’s Way. There’s humor there, too. Really, there is. I would recommend you pay particular attention to that part if you’re, say, a publisher, or an agent.
Hope you like it!
“I turned around a few minutes later, walked into the Albion New Era office with the aura of confidence and skill, and said ‘I changed my mind. Pleasssseeeee!!!!!!’”
--Slightly Off the Mark, from “Why I write, or: I hate needles”.
Thus began my career as a humor columnist, which resulted in some 1,150,000 words over the next quarter of a century. Now, although my column has moved to the monthly Kendallville Mall, I’ve collected all my unpublished earlier columns into one volume.
Because “volume” sounds somehow more official than “book”.
It’s a short book, but my fourteen regular readers have short attention spans, so it’s all good. Now I’m asking you, my other hundred or so readers, to purchase Slightly off the Mark and then actually read it, and then tell all their friends. It’s a lot to ask, but I have no shame.
You can find links to all the ways you can get the Slightly Off the Mark on my website, www.markrhunter.com, or at regular internet places, and soon I hope to have news on such things as book signings and other places where you can get a copy. Or, knock on my door, or stop me in the street. Not in the middle of the street … maybe wait for me on the sidewalk.
To show you what you’ll be treated to—I hope that’s the right word—the book is divided into sections including:
Part One: because someone has to go first
Part Deux: the final second
Part Three: medical stuff, and things
Part Four: the writer’s life for me, or: Brother, can you spare a dime?
Part Five: how do you spell miscellaneous?
Part Six: part two of the writer’s life, or: Six into two makes … something
Part Seven: politics, or: Maybe you shouldn’t read this section—(my editor didn’t)
Part Eight: What’s the sundry word for miscellaneous?
If that’s not enough for you to part with your Starbucks money, at the end of the book you’ll find the first chapter of my upcoming space opera novel, Beowulf: In Harm’s Way. There’s humor there, too. Really, there is. I would recommend you pay particular attention to that part if you’re, say, a publisher, or an agent.
Hope you like it!
