Mark R. Hunter's Blog, page 81
September 28, 2015
Mouse Trap
I’m a little late posting my column, but hopefully you’ve already picked it up on the Kendallville Mall. If not, please check it out for free, or even consider sponsoring my column—but at least leave a comment on its official site here:
http://www.4countymall.com/mark-hunte...
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
My war with mice has gone on for decades. Like the zombie apocalypse, I keep killing ‘em off, and they keep coming back.
Except zombies don’t like peanut butter. I guess it would be better if they did.
If I had to choose between spiders and mice I’d take the mice, although I’d rather not have either. Spiders don’t chew through wiring or eat your food, and as far as I know they don’t do their business in your cupboards. Nobody ever pinned the bubonic plague on a brown recluse. Instead it was that other brown recluse, the rat.
Now, I’m not an animal hater. In fact, thanks to the brush pile I’ve been intending to remove for years, my property is home for rabbits, chipmunks, squirrels, and so many varieties of birds that I made the Audubon Society’s honor roll.
At this point the federal government probably wouldn’t even allow me to remove that brush pile. It’s a wildland zone, according to EPA Rule #1A24-782.237-BB1442.
But when they’re outside my house, they’re wildlife. When they’re inside my house, they’re pests. The only animal allowed to roam free inside is our dog, who doesn’t chew on wires and doesn’t do his business in the kitchen cupboards. I’d know if he did. Otherwise we have the fish and Lucius the snake, all in tanks.
Mice are welcome to visit those tanks, but it wouldn’t end well.
After we got the snake I tried some live traps, and if you’re squeamish you might not want to think about why. In my case live traps were very humane indeed, because they never caught any mice.
So I went back to my standby, the good old fashioned spring loaded mousetrap. I own seven thousand of them. Did I mention my house has a mouse problem? They come down with a force strong enough to put a good sized dent in a finger and cause a guy to yell, and I should know.
In a year mice go through seven hundred and forty generations, and they pass down how to get a free meal. So use peanut butter, because it’s sticky; they’ll have to work at it, and that force will mean it’s last meal time.
It works—about half the time.
Mouse hunting season is in the fall, when the little guys go looking for a warm place to spend the winter. If I had the money, I’d head south and leave the place to them.
Over the years I’ve learned their travel patterns: The superhighway is behind the stove, with main streets going to the refrigerator and an elevated freeway to the kitchen counter.
There’s also, oddly, a bit of a side road between the basement and the kitchen. I’ve caught a fair number in the basement, which is odd because it’s cold, and has less nutrition than a bachelor’s diet. Apparently that’s low income mouse housing.
Now, there’s a little ledge in the basement stairway. It’s about eight feet above the concrete basement floor, and I’ve caught more than one mouse in that area. Maybe it’s a little mouse dance hall.
The other day I threw some clothes down the basement stairs—don’t judge me. When I did laundry (it was the same day, I swear), I noticed a mousetrap on the floor. Clearly it had fallen from the ledge; not only had it been tripped, but the peanut butter was gone. Either my thrown clothes caught it and the mice got to it later, or a particularly sneaky little guy got the meal, and dropped the trap like a hot mike at a poetry slam.
Or so I thought.
Later I picked up the last of the laundry and there he was under a t-shirt, dead as a … dead mouse. Not a mark on him. I did some quick physics calculations, and came up with a new scenario:
My friend the mouse managed to get himself a meal all right, but in doing so he tripped the trap. Surprised by the sudden noise, he jumped back.
Only there was no back.
The poor guy managed to get into the house, survive the trap, and you could even say he survived what, to him, would be about a ten story fall.
It was the concrete floor that killed him.
Well … at least he didn’t have to fight off peanut butter eating zombies.
http://www.4countymall.com/mark-hunte...
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
My war with mice has gone on for decades. Like the zombie apocalypse, I keep killing ‘em off, and they keep coming back.
Except zombies don’t like peanut butter. I guess it would be better if they did.
If I had to choose between spiders and mice I’d take the mice, although I’d rather not have either. Spiders don’t chew through wiring or eat your food, and as far as I know they don’t do their business in your cupboards. Nobody ever pinned the bubonic plague on a brown recluse. Instead it was that other brown recluse, the rat.
Now, I’m not an animal hater. In fact, thanks to the brush pile I’ve been intending to remove for years, my property is home for rabbits, chipmunks, squirrels, and so many varieties of birds that I made the Audubon Society’s honor roll.
At this point the federal government probably wouldn’t even allow me to remove that brush pile. It’s a wildland zone, according to EPA Rule #1A24-782.237-BB1442.
But when they’re outside my house, they’re wildlife. When they’re inside my house, they’re pests. The only animal allowed to roam free inside is our dog, who doesn’t chew on wires and doesn’t do his business in the kitchen cupboards. I’d know if he did. Otherwise we have the fish and Lucius the snake, all in tanks.
Mice are welcome to visit those tanks, but it wouldn’t end well.
After we got the snake I tried some live traps, and if you’re squeamish you might not want to think about why. In my case live traps were very humane indeed, because they never caught any mice.
So I went back to my standby, the good old fashioned spring loaded mousetrap. I own seven thousand of them. Did I mention my house has a mouse problem? They come down with a force strong enough to put a good sized dent in a finger and cause a guy to yell, and I should know.
In a year mice go through seven hundred and forty generations, and they pass down how to get a free meal. So use peanut butter, because it’s sticky; they’ll have to work at it, and that force will mean it’s last meal time.
It works—about half the time.
Mouse hunting season is in the fall, when the little guys go looking for a warm place to spend the winter. If I had the money, I’d head south and leave the place to them.
Over the years I’ve learned their travel patterns: The superhighway is behind the stove, with main streets going to the refrigerator and an elevated freeway to the kitchen counter.
There’s also, oddly, a bit of a side road between the basement and the kitchen. I’ve caught a fair number in the basement, which is odd because it’s cold, and has less nutrition than a bachelor’s diet. Apparently that’s low income mouse housing.
Now, there’s a little ledge in the basement stairway. It’s about eight feet above the concrete basement floor, and I’ve caught more than one mouse in that area. Maybe it’s a little mouse dance hall.
The other day I threw some clothes down the basement stairs—don’t judge me. When I did laundry (it was the same day, I swear), I noticed a mousetrap on the floor. Clearly it had fallen from the ledge; not only had it been tripped, but the peanut butter was gone. Either my thrown clothes caught it and the mice got to it later, or a particularly sneaky little guy got the meal, and dropped the trap like a hot mike at a poetry slam.
Or so I thought.
Later I picked up the last of the laundry and there he was under a t-shirt, dead as a … dead mouse. Not a mark on him. I did some quick physics calculations, and came up with a new scenario:
My friend the mouse managed to get himself a meal all right, but in doing so he tripped the trap. Surprised by the sudden noise, he jumped back.
Only there was no back.
The poor guy managed to get into the house, survive the trap, and you could even say he survived what, to him, would be about a ten story fall.
It was the concrete floor that killed him.
Well … at least he didn’t have to fight off peanut butter eating zombies.
September 26, 2015
Another link in the Chain
What an interesting book signing season it’s been. Back in July, before our newest book came out, we visited the Noble Art Gallery. We even had books available at my daughter’s yard sale, in May. After Albion and Noble County was published, we went to the Kendallville Library, then the Stone’s Trace Pioneer Festival.
A week from today we’re putting in another appearance at the Noble Art Gallery. Then we have dual October 10th book signings, at Joanna’s Dealicious Treats in Kendallville and the Cupbearer Café in Auburn. I thought that would be the climax of the season.
If I’ve covered everything and counted right, that’s seven author appearances, five of them in two months. And nobody can say they haven’t been eclectic!
But other people have been trying on my behalf, and the other day I got an e-mail from a member of the Arcadia Publishing team. If all goes well, I’ll have one more author appearance, probably around the first of November … at a Barnes and Noble.
Stay tuned!
A week from today we’re putting in another appearance at the Noble Art Gallery. Then we have dual October 10th book signings, at Joanna’s Dealicious Treats in Kendallville and the Cupbearer Café in Auburn. I thought that would be the climax of the season.
If I’ve covered everything and counted right, that’s seven author appearances, five of them in two months. And nobody can say they haven’t been eclectic!
But other people have been trying on my behalf, and the other day I got an e-mail from a member of the Arcadia Publishing team. If all goes well, I’ll have one more author appearance, probably around the first of November … at a Barnes and Noble.
Stay tuned!
September 24, 2015
Going Out With a Boom
One last post of photos from the Stone’s Trace Pioneer Festival:
http://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2015/...
However, we’ve selected the posted photos plus dozens more to go up on a folder at our Albion and Noble County website:
http://markrichardhunter.wix.com/albi...
http://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2015/...
However, we’ve selected the posted photos plus dozens more to go up on a folder at our Albion and Noble County website:
http://markrichardhunter.wix.com/albi...
September 22, 2015
Books and Art at the Black Building
As much as I’d like to think it’s all about me, Dan Gagen says he’ll have some new art on display at the Noble Art Gallery when Emily and I put in our third author appearance there on October 3rd, from 1-3 p.m.
(“Appearance” may be better than “book signing” because, even if you don’t want a book signed, we’ll still be there to talk. Besides, the jury’s still out on whether my signature adds or subtracts to a book’s value.)
As far as I know this will be our last signing (ahem, appearance) in Albion before our new book comes out, which is projected for the spring of next year. (We do have the appearances the following Saturday, October 10th, at Joanna’s in downtown Kendallville and the Cupbearer in downtown Auburn.) (Am I overusing the parenthesis again?)
But this one is special because Dan’s business is in the Black Building, an historical Albion structure that shows up more than once in Images of America: Albion and Noble County. The same building also appears in our previous historical work, Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century or So with the Albion Fire Department. It’s a star!
So stop by the see the art and the history and say hello, and remember: Every time you ignore history, all the White House furniture in the Lincoln Bedroom levitates six feet, four inches into the air. Don’t let the furniture levitate: You don’t know who might be sleeping in there.
(“Appearance” may be better than “book signing” because, even if you don’t want a book signed, we’ll still be there to talk. Besides, the jury’s still out on whether my signature adds or subtracts to a book’s value.)
As far as I know this will be our last signing (ahem, appearance) in Albion before our new book comes out, which is projected for the spring of next year. (We do have the appearances the following Saturday, October 10th, at Joanna’s in downtown Kendallville and the Cupbearer in downtown Auburn.) (Am I overusing the parenthesis again?)
But this one is special because Dan’s business is in the Black Building, an historical Albion structure that shows up more than once in Images of America: Albion and Noble County. The same building also appears in our previous historical work, Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century or So with the Albion Fire Department. It’s a star!
So stop by the see the art and the history and say hello, and remember: Every time you ignore history, all the White House furniture in the Lincoln Bedroom levitates six feet, four inches into the air. Don’t let the furniture levitate: You don’t know who might be sleeping in there.
September 21, 2015
Stone’s Trace Photo Slam #3: It’s All An Act
Stone’s Trace Photo Slam 3 (of 4): It’s All An Act
http://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2015/...
“The number one thing you have to remember about historical reenactors is that they take it very, very seriously.”
http://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2015/...
“The number one thing you have to remember about historical reenactors is that they take it very, very seriously.”
September 17, 2015
Because a picture is worth 1,427 words, at today’s exchange rate:
http://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2015/...
More photos from last weekend’s Stone’s Trace Pioneer Festival
More photos from last weekend’s Stone’s Trace Pioneer Festival
September 16, 2015
Stone’s Trace photo slam part 1
Stone’s Trace photo slam part 1
http://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2015/...
As promised, here are some photos we took during our daylong book signing last week at the Stone's Trace Pioneer Festival south of Ligonier. They're only up on my blog because ... man, what a pain posting turned out to be.
http://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2015/...
As promised, here are some photos we took during our daylong book signing last week at the Stone's Trace Pioneer Festival south of Ligonier. They're only up on my blog because ... man, what a pain posting turned out to be.
September 15, 2015
On Your Phone, In a Nook, In Your Noble Barn …
I wasn’t sure if Arcadia Publishing would put out an electronic version of Albion and Noble County, but there it is. Could I have just looked at whether the many other Images of America stories were released as e-books? Yes. Yes, I could have. But never mind.
www.amazon.com/Albion-Noble-County-Im...
It’s also in this little nook:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/albio...
I do believe all our books can be read on your tablet, phone, computer, or be projected on your living room wall. And remember: Every time you buy an e-book, a tree gives a sigh of relief, breathes in carbon monoxide, and saves the planet. Don’t take chances with the planet.
www.amazon.com/Albion-Noble-County-Im...
It’s also in this little nook:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/albio...
I do believe all our books can be read on your tablet, phone, computer, or be projected on your living room wall. And remember: Every time you buy an e-book, a tree gives a sigh of relief, breathes in carbon monoxide, and saves the planet. Don’t take chances with the planet.
September 14, 2015
There Was a Trace of Stones
Many thanks to the Stone’s Trace Pioneer Festival for hosting Emily and me Saturday, right on the front porch of an historical building that’s in our latest book. Sales could have been better, but we got to wander around a little, and there was plenty to see—I’ll post a bunch of photos later on. They’re well organized, and the dedicated reenactors were fascinating.
Now on to Noble Art Gallery for one last Albion book signing this year on October 3rd, then a very busy day with the last two scheduled signings of the year on October 10th: the first at Joanna’s Dealicious Treats on Main Street in Kendallville, and the second at the Cupearer Café in downtown Auburn. More info to come, of course.
Now on to Noble Art Gallery for one last Albion book signing this year on October 3rd, then a very busy day with the last two scheduled signings of the year on October 10th: the first at Joanna’s Dealicious Treats on Main Street in Kendallville, and the second at the Cupearer Café in downtown Auburn. More info to come, of course.
September 11, 2015
Turns out we’re just a small part of Stone’s Trace
While we’ll be at the Stone’s Trace Pioneer Festival all day tomorrow (Saturday), don’t forget the event goes on the whole weekend, and offers a lot of attractions. It runs from 10-5 Saturday and Sunday (at the junction of US 33 and SR 5, south of Ligonier), and I’m told we’ll be set up at the Stone’s Trace Tavern with our books. But there’s a lot more going on than a book signing:
Johnny Appleseed will be wandering around telling stories, and the Stone family itself will be at the Tavern (as represented by the Theater 33 drama group).
There’ll be a bagpiper, Punch and Judy puppet show, pioneer games, and face painting, and continuous entertainment onstage. It’s all for an admission of only $5, with kids 12 and under free.
The Stone’s Trace Regulators will be showing off their skills with muzzle loading rifles, knife and tomahawk throwing, and old time archery. Not to be outdone, soldiers at the Civil War encampment will have a military field hospital that hopefully won’t be needed—even though they’ll be firing off cannon over the weekend.
The Village Blacksmith Shop will do their thing with iron forging, and you can find blanket traders in the rendezvous reenactment camp.
Handmade pre-1870 era wares will be for sale at the pioneer craft booths, while food vendors fill your belly and whet your whistle. Believe me, whistles are almost worthless if they don’t get whet from time to time. I’m thinking that Indian fry bread sounds awfully good, not to mention the pork burgers.
Just park at the West Noble Schools across the highway, and catch a free shuttle ride to the festival—and don’t forget to stop by and say hi to Emily and me. We’ll be the ones who won’t look very authentic compared to the people who know what they’re doing. Learn more on the Stone’s Trace Historical Society website:
http://www.stonestrace.com/festival.html
Johnny Appleseed will be wandering around telling stories, and the Stone family itself will be at the Tavern (as represented by the Theater 33 drama group).
There’ll be a bagpiper, Punch and Judy puppet show, pioneer games, and face painting, and continuous entertainment onstage. It’s all for an admission of only $5, with kids 12 and under free.
The Stone’s Trace Regulators will be showing off their skills with muzzle loading rifles, knife and tomahawk throwing, and old time archery. Not to be outdone, soldiers at the Civil War encampment will have a military field hospital that hopefully won’t be needed—even though they’ll be firing off cannon over the weekend.
The Village Blacksmith Shop will do their thing with iron forging, and you can find blanket traders in the rendezvous reenactment camp.
Handmade pre-1870 era wares will be for sale at the pioneer craft booths, while food vendors fill your belly and whet your whistle. Believe me, whistles are almost worthless if they don’t get whet from time to time. I’m thinking that Indian fry bread sounds awfully good, not to mention the pork burgers.
Just park at the West Noble Schools across the highway, and catch a free shuttle ride to the festival—and don’t forget to stop by and say hi to Emily and me. We’ll be the ones who won’t look very authentic compared to the people who know what they’re doing. Learn more on the Stone’s Trace Historical Society website:
http://www.stonestrace.com/festival.html
