Cory Silverberg's Blog, page 18

What Does It Take to Consent to Sex?

A few days ago an article was posted in the NPR health blog Shots, titled "Dementia Complicates Romance in Nursing Homes". The piece was primarily about a new report out of the Australian Centre for Evidence Based Age Care that looked at how sexuality plays out in nursing homes or long term residential care facilities (basically places where people end up living out the rest of their lives for a variety of reasons).

The article highlights many of the obstacles that people living in nursing ho...

Weekend Reading and Watching (the Catch Up Edition)

I've been so immersed in my own work of late that I have fallen way behind in reading and watching other people's work. But I'm catching up and here are a few things worth checking out:

Life Without Sex: The Third Phase of the Asexuality Movement (The Atlantic)

A short update on what David Jay, the founder of the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network, is thinking about now that education and visibility are happening.

Sex, Consent, and Disability (Hot Press)

A nice introduction to thinki...

Am I Horrible for Dumping My Boyfriend?

This week's sex question comes from someone who has already made up their mind. She says she is in a loving relationship, but that she has to end it because her boyfriend has erectile dysfunction and she can't imagine a future without erections.

Because she didn't actually want advice on what might be done about his erections and her response to them, I felt it fit well into the Doing It Decent series on sexual ethics, and responded to the ethical question first. Although I couldn't help addi...

Weekend Reading: A Queer and Pleasant Danger by Kate Bornstein

As of this morning the stack of books on my desk that I'm supposed to be reading (or in some cases that I am supposed to have read) is approaching the height of my computer monitor. So when I slipped into McNally Jackson and picked up my copy of Kate Bornstein's A Queer and Pleasant Danger I assumed that I wouldn't get to finish it until I was on vacation (read: I wouldn't get to finish it, period).

But then I started reading it on the subway home and I knew the pile would have to wait. It's...

Sex Toy Inventors

In 1997 I was part of a group of people who opened a worker co-op sex shop in Toronto, Canada called Come As You Are. I left the co-op a few years back, but they are celebrating their 15th anniversary that got me thinking about the first weeks and months the store was open.

One thing that I thought was funny was that the first few days we were open we had several people come in to say they had an idea for a new sex toy, or some kind of sex toy invention that they were looking for help bringin...

Can You Give an Orgasm?

Yesterday this seemingly simple question came through the About Sexuality Facebook page:

"What gives a woman orgasm?"

Still not understanding what of Facebook is (completely) public and what is (thinly) private, I thought I'd share my response here. It goes like this:

Thanks for your question, which is an interesting one.

First I think we need to ask, can you ever actually give someone an orgasm? That is, is an orgasm something that can be given or is it something that must be experienced?

F...

Which One of These Is Not Like the Other: Virginity, the G Spot, and Anal Sex

I don't often go to speak on college campuses but when I do I'm struck by the questions I get. I should say that I consider it one of the goals of any interaction I have as a sex educator that the people I'm talking to have the opportunity to ask the questions they have. And ideally they get some kind of answer too! Of course asking questions can feel risky (thanks systemic oppression and sexual shame) so like most sex educators I give people a variety of ways of asking their questions.

When...

The Risks of Monogamy

I've always been a little uncomfortable with the way that social scientists talk about sexual activity and sexual risk. I understand that when you are trying to make change at the level of a population making generalizations and grouping people is a necessity. And I suppose it's a lot to ask people to be constantly qualifying what they are saying in order to make it more precise, but the alternative is talking in a way that may be statistically accurate, but fails to reflect the lives we live...

Solo Performance

One of my favorite parts of blogging for National Masturbation Month is writing about masturbation scenes in mainstream movies. Six years ago when I began this blog I had a list of 15 or 20 films notable for their representation of the sex act that may only be spoken of in giggles and whispers: sex with yourself.

Thanks to our eagle eye readers the list has blown up, last time I checked topping 47 films from 1972 to 2010. If you haven't check it out, have a look. It might inspire you to go b...

Discount Sex Drugs for Soliders - Is This What Support Looks Like?

May 19th is Armed Services Day (also called Armed Forces Day but I'll mention both since it's not clear who is winning that pr battle). Growing up in a big Canadian city my relationship to the military was simple. I didn't know anyone who was in the military. And the story is that my grandfather enlisted prior to the Second World War but never made it out of basic training because he had flat feet. The regiment that he was scheduled to be with did go to Europe and none of the service members...