Benjamin Wallace's Blog, page 29
October 2, 2012
20 Questions with Nina Post
1. So, what’s your book all about?
My second published book, One Ghost Per Serving, is about a self-doubting father who embarks on a quest to win a seemingly impossible contest, and discovers he’s the only one who can stop a supernatural pathogen from spreading throughout the food supply.
2. What inspired you to write this tale?
A yogurt contest, Japanese yokai, nanotechnology in food, and other ephemeral things.
3. Do you have a favorite quote about creativity/inspiration etc…? What is it?
I’m an outliner, so, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – Abraham Lincoln. A natural-born piggybacker, that guy.
4. What things do you keep in your “writing space”? Do they inspire you? Confound you? Hold wires in place?
Just my Macbook, and usually a table to put it on. I often work in the same (large) room with my husband, and with the flying bananas that give me ideas and confound me with their riddles.
5. What is your perfect “writing space”?
The house in Danger: Diabolik, of course.
6. If your car horn could play any song, which would it be? Can’t say Dixie.
You took the best one (‘Asshole,’ by Denis Leary), so I’ll go with a classic Wilhelm scream, though it’s not a song.
7. What would you name the first permanent settlement on mars?
New Skullcrusher Mountain (nod to Jonathan Coulton)
8. How tall is the perfect sidekick? Please explain why it even matters.
6’4 or taller and a wall of intimidating muscle – but the tallness matters less than the physical capability. Someone like Joe Pike or Eliot from ‘Leverage.’ Why? Because I’m a somewhat petite woman and often wish I had a intimidating sidekick.
9. If you were to mess with the time stream, what would you change? Let’s assume a hundred other people already took care of Hitler so you don’t have to say, “Kill Hitler.”
I would find someone I loved and tell them something I should have said. At least that.
10. Let’s say your character has a pet brown bear. What’s the bear’s name?
Pistachio Sigismund Thundershield, Esq. (Yes, the bear is an attorney. Corporate practice, with an LLM in International Bear Tax Law).
11. If you had to give an antagonist an annoying trait, what would it be?
Chewing with her mouth open.
12. What kind of car would your ultimate protagonist drive?
An electric Tesla roadster.
13. You’ve got a year to travel anywhere. Where?
The colder, more secluded parts of Europe. Also New Zealand.
14. You just bought a boat with your book fortune. What are you going to call it?
Querencia. It’s a large sailboat – like the one in The Mayfair Witches.
15. What kind of music, if any, gets you typing the fastest?
Electronic dance, like Paul van Dyk. It’s soaring and energizing and non-distracting, though I normally don’t listen to music while I write.
16. What’s the punch line to your favorite joke?
“Generally you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.”
17. What lyric do you sing poorly, yet loudly?
From Toto’s ‘Africa’: “I know that I must do what’s right, as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti”
18. You find a portal to another world in your sink’s drain. What is this other world called? And what is the best way to clean the portal so it doesn’t smell like old food?
I could call it ‘Time with Family,’ because I often feel that I’ve passed through some kind of portal when I visit them. I would probably just replace the portal with a graphene one.
19. Where can people learn more about you, your work or any pets you have?
My website: http://www.ninapost.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/ninapost
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/ninapost
20. What’s next?
The Last Donut Shop of the Apocalypse will be out in early October, and I have another book set in the world of One Ghost Per Serving being released in 2013. I’ve written a few novels in other genres this year, and plan to continue that.
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September 27, 2012
Using My Words – The Social Contract
A few months ago a blogger and Twitter pal, Todd Trann posted “The Indie Author Social Contract”. It was a wonderfully generous way that he decided to help indie authors whose books he had downloaded during free promotions. You should definitely read the article for the full context and reasoning, he says a lot of great things (and not just about my books – he cites me as an example but that is not why I love what he has to say), but I wanted to post what I’ll call his three deals:
1) For every free ebook that I download and like, I will leave a favorable review for it online and tweet a link to that review.
2) For every free ebook that I download and love, I will leave a favorable review, tweet about it, AND I will find at least one other non-free ebook from the same author and buy it.
3) For every free ebook that I download and don’t like, I will simply delete the ebook and move on.
This system is more than fair and it was great to hear readers thinking like this. It prompted me to respond by offering my own deal. Here it is, the Indie Author’s End of the Social Contract:
As an author
1) I will do my best to do the best work I can. I will not rush out sub standard books just to add another title to my list. Everything I put out there should be of equal, but preferably superior, quality to the previous book.
2) I will appreciate every review, mention and word of encouragement and constructive criticism I receive from the people who have taken a chance on me and my work. That people have taken time, not only to read but, to recognize my labors and vouch for it is something I should never take for granted.
3) I will never act like a prima donna writer that is too good to communicate with the people that helped support my work and advance my career. Unless I’m like stupid rich. But I mean stupid rich and even then I’ll probably stay in touch just to gloat a bit from my super yacht.
It is for these reasons that I get nervous every time I’m about to release a new title. I don’t want to disappoint those that have supported me. And, I never want to lose those nerves because I want to be damn sure that each title is as good as the last.
Check out the original article and like and follow Todd Trann on Twitter @toddtrann. He’s always looking for new indie authors and he’d be a great friend to have.
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September 25, 2012
20 Questions with Steven Luna
1. So, what’s your book all about?
It’s about a guy named Joe, who, through an unfortunate misunderstanding on a group date, gets turned into a vampire. Then he starts a blog to tell the world about how crappy the vampire deal really is…truth be told, it doesn’t happen like Twilight; nobody sparkles, nobody gets prettier. Nobody wears clothes from Hollister.
2. What inspired you to write this tale?
It started as a real blog, an open-ended interactive conceptual art project, meant to include writing/visual arts/music and to appear as if Joe were a real guy and not a character. Nine posts in, I saw a story emerging and decided to turn it into a novel.
3. Do you have a favorite quote about creativity/inspiration etc…? What is it?
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein. Powerful stuff.
4. What things do you keep in your “writing space”? Do they inspire you? Confound you? Hold wires in place?
Laptop: check. Speakers to pipe in writing music and various funny stuff: check. Loud children digging for DVDs and art supplies: who do you think inspires me, confounds me and holds the wires in place? Check, check and check.
5. What is your perfect “writing space”?
I’d be stoked to write in an outdoor space, snug in the mountains near a stream or some form of running water. As it is, the toilet next to my writing space seems to run a lot, so there’s that…
6. If your car horn could play any song, which would it be? Can’t say Dixie.
Either Handel’s “Messiah”, or “Immigrant Song” by Led Zepplin. Or both. In a medley.
7. What would you name the first permanent settlement on mars?
Let’s-Try-Not-To-Screw-This-One-Up-Too-land. I’m something of a hippie.
8. How tall is the perfect sidekick? Please explain why it even matters.
The perfect sidekick is tall enough to absorb any punches that might come at the hero’s face using their own face instead, yet short enough to not block the hero’s Pepsodent smile with their large cowl or bulbous forehead during photo ops. I’m just going by what I’ve heard.
9. If you were to mess with the time stream, what would you change? Let’s assume a hundred other people already took care of Hitler so you don’t have to say, “Kill Hitler.”
Who is this Hitler of whom you speak? I think I would strip out the section of time in the nineties when all the cute girls were ruining their cuteness with that super-tall Claw-o-Bangs thing. That was a really rough time for me, dating-wise.
10. Let’s say your character has a pet brown bear. What’s the bear’s name?
Snuggles. The irony comes in chapter three, after the ketamine wears off…
11. If you had to give an antagonist an annoying trait, what would it be?
Ending declarative sentences on an upnote as if they were questions…like this? My antagonists in real life do this, even in their e-mails.
12. What kind of car would your ultimate protagonist drive?
Small, efficient and runs on reused vegetable oil (my ultimate protagonist is one of those fry guys from the old McDonalds commercials).
13. You’ve got a year to travel anywhere. Where?
Ireland. And once I find that leprechaun, one year will become two. Two years in Ireland! Hear that, leprechaun? Your days are numbered!
14. You just bought a boat with your book fortune. What are you going to call it?
I’d call it Look What I Just Bought With My Book Fortune! Sort of set myself up for it with my Mars settlement name in question #7.
15. What kind of music, if any, gets you typing the fastest?
Ambient grooves by a musical project I dig called Sleepthief. It balances the hemispheres and puts me in a speed-typing zone. That last sentence sounds like a joke I’d make, but it’s totally true.
16. What’s the punch line to your favorite joke?
“If you think I’m gonna gargle with that sh*t after she puts her a** in it, you can forget it.”
17. What lyric do you sing poorly, yet loudly?
Bohemian Rhapsody…but only if by “poorly” you mean “totally awesomely”.
18. You find a portal to another world in your sink’s drain. What is this other world called? And what is the best way to clean the portal so it doesn’t smell like old food?
This other world is called All-The-Free-Corn-You-Can-Eat-And-Some-You-Can’t-land. The trick to keeping it clean is all in the name, friend. Maybe you can tell: I’m not so good at naming stuff (see questions #7 and #14 above).
19. Where can people learn more about you, your work or any pets you have?
joevampire.blogspot.com will tell them more than they want to know about me and my tortoise farm. I’ve probably said too much about it already. Also, you can find me on facebook.com/thestevenluna and twitter.com/JoeVampireBlog.
20. What’s next?
A re-launch of JOE VAMPIRE through my radical new publisher, Booktrope, and then onward to JOE VAMPIRE 2: THE AFTERLIFE, which is being edited and cleaned up at the moment. A teaser: the vampires actually do wear Hollister in this one. Take that, Twilight…take that.
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September 23, 2012
Six Sentence Sunday 9/23
Hey everyone, this week in Six Sentence Sunday #sixsunday:
Dumb White Husband vs. Babies:
A Guide for Unsuspecting Fathers
From the chapter “YOU’RE CUT OFF”
All massages will be therapeutic and if she invites you into the shower it’s because she can’t reach something. Now is the time to focus on her without any ulterior motives.
If it makes you feel any better, you will be earning “points” for all the unselfish attention she’s getting from you. Don’t rush to redeem these but know that they’re there.
I have no doubt you’re a clever guy, but I must warn you that saying, “Your mouth’s not having a baby,” while true, is a bad, bad, bad idea. Bad idea.
Wanna read more? DOWNLOAD it today
Thanks for reading
- ben
Also, go back and check out the other Six Sentence Sunday authors.
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September 20, 2012
Using My Words – Focus II
Focus revisited
It’s working. One thing at a time is way more effective than trying to juggle all things at once. This is not surprising and not really an insight that many of you will find helpful. Sorry.
As I mentioned before I’ve started working on one project at a time. For example: This blog post was written along with several others and scheduled ahead of time. The day I wrote this was dedicated to blog maintenance and answering Dumb White Husband questions. I’m set for a few weeks on that.
I’ve even got a schedule set up now. Check it out: (click to see it larger)
See? All the “Write” entries say the same thing.
This has been tremendously helpful. Plus all the other things – Ask A DWH, 20 Questions and Using My Words are already done. I’ve just got the one thing to focus on.
I’m going to finish all of Stockwell and then change to finishing a Dumb White Husband novella. After that it’s back to the wasteland with the intention of finishing Songs of the Apocalypse in time to enjoy Christmas break.
That allows me to release a new title every month until the end of the year. Now, a lot of those were mostly written already, but still, I’m pretty pleased with my output of late.
All this has helped my productivity tremendously. Plus, I’m less bitchy which other people like.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed with everything I want to do or feel I need to do. And when I get like that. I get even less done.
This feels much better.
-ben
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September 18, 2012
20 Questions with Mike McNeff
1. So, what’s your book all about?
GOTU is a fictionalized account of my time as a sergeant for the Arizona Department of Public Safety leading a team investigating smugglers bringing drugs in by air over the US/Mexican border. Lots of information on police operations and plenty of action along with insight on the effect such work has on police families. The title means GOT-U and Guardians of the Universe. You have to read the book to understand why. As of now the book has 35 reviews with a 4.5 star rating on Amazon.
2. What inspired you to write this tale?
I started out to write a non-fiction book about the great work of this team, but DPS destroyed all of the reports because they were over 25 years old. So I wrote a novel instead.
3. Do you have a favorite quote about creativity/inspiration etc…? What is it?
“The first draft of anything is shit.” Ernest Hemingway
4. What things do you keep in your “writing space”? Do they inspire you? Confound you? Hold wires in place?
My writing space is a small office crammed with memorabilia, guitars, books and my computer. My inspiration comes from my ever restless mind.
5. What is your perfect “writing space”?
My perfect writing space would be a turret on top of a house on the ocean with a 360˚ view.
6. If your car horn could play any song, which would it be? Can’t say Dixie.
“Thunderstruck” by AC/DC
7. What would you name the first permanent settlement on mars?
Two Guns Saloon.
8. How tall is the perfect sidekick? Please explain why it even matters.
It doesn’t matter.
9. If you were to mess with the time stream, what would you change? Let’s assume a hundred other people already took care of Hitler so you don’t have to say, “Kill Hitler.”
Prevent slavery from coming to America.
10. Let’s say your character has a pet brown bear. What’s the bear’s name?
Bear
11. If you had to give an antagonist an annoying trait, what would it be?
Uncontrollable farting.
12. What kind of car would your ultimate protagonist drive?
A Ford Expedition powered by air.
13. You’ve got a year to travel anywhere. Where?
I would sail the Pacific Ocean and visit all of the island countries.
14. You just bought a boat with your book fortune. What are you going to call it?
Loverly Lindy after my wife.
15. What kind of music, if any, gets you typing the fastest?
I don’t listen to music while I write. It interferes with the conversations I have with myself.
16. What’s the punch line to your favorite joke?
“And the politician said, ‘Really, it’s the truth!’”
17. What lyric do you sing poorly, yet loudly?
“Peas, peas, peas, peas, eatin’ goober peas!”
18. You find a portal to another world in your sink’s drain. What is this other world called? And what is the best way to clean the portal so it doesn’t smell like old food?
The world is called “The Government.” The best cleaning method is a flame thrower.
19. Where can people learn more about you, your work or any pets you have?
@Mike_McNeff on Twitter and https://www.facebook.com/MikeMcNeff.Site
20. What’s next?
I’m currently finishing the sequel to GOTU. I will be finishing a cold case mystery that delves into the emotional toll the job takes on homicide detectives and a western that examines the concept of justice this year…hopefully. Then I will start writing a novel about two mysteries, one in the 1930’s and one in present time where both involve the murder of a blues guitarist. I plan to weave the history of the blues and blues lyrics throughout the story. Of course, a book about the GOTU team will always be in the works also.
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September 16, 2012
Six Sentence Sunday 9/16
Hey everyone, this week in Six Sentence Sunday #sixsunday:
Dumb White Husband vs. Babies:
A Guide for Unsuspecting Fathers
If your wife is delivering vaginally, then DO NOT LOOK AT THE VAGINA! I told you before that there is no crisp and sterile sheet to separate you from the carnage that is childbirth. So, you, like me, pictured yourself way up at the top of the bed holding your wife’s hand, stroking her hair and whispering reassuring words that you have no business whispering.
That’s because you’re dumb, like me.
They had me right in there!
“Here, hook her knee in your arm and help hold her leg back,” the doctor says.
Wanna read more? DOWNLOAD it today!
Thanks for reading
- ben
Also, go back and check out the other Six Sentence Sunday authors
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September 15, 2012
Sweet Saturday Sample 9/15
Welcome everyone. Here’s the Sweet Saturday Sample: #SweetSat
Dumb White Husband vs. Babies:A Guide for Unsuspecting Fathers
Delivery: The Twin Version
With twins the doctor will most likely suggest or insist on a C-section. The process is no different or less disgusting. The doctor will just pull out two kids instead of one. Separately. One at a time not one in each hand like some kind of Globetrotter palming basketballs.
Seeing your first child will still be the biggest moment of your life but there is only about a minute to admire him or her before you have to split your attention to the other one. From this moment on your life will be a constant struggle to not favor one over the other.
But something else has happened here. You¹ve not only been blessed with two wonderful children, you¹ve been awarded the ultimate one-up. From here on out, unless they have triplets, you don¹t have to listen to anyone bitch about their kids ever again.
You¹ve been given license to end all complaints with one simple phrase. And you¹ll need it because most of your friends are probably having kids about this time as well. Whenever they start to complain about anything baby related, just look them in the eye and say, “I’m sorry. Is your ONE baby causing you problems?” Instant silence.
This will work forever. Toddler, pre-schooler, kindergartener, teenager never again will you have to listen to anyone gripe about the difficulties of raising a child.
Warning: Don¹t do this if they are talking about health issues. Then you¹re just being an insensitive dick, you dick.
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About the book:
From the moment your wife hands you the stick covered in pee, the world is out to get you. Doctors will ignore you, baby companies will try to take advantage of you, hospitals will try to cripple you and your new child will try to make you sterile.
This everyman’s guide to becoming a father gives you every warning the other books missed and offers advice on how to get from the pregnancy till the end of your baby’s first year. It covers everything from where to hold the stick your wife spent the morning peeing on to ensuring that your baby’s first word is, “Dada.”
There’s even a twin version in case your so much of a man that you knocked up your wife twice at the same time.
Don’t go into fatherhood unprepared. Know what’s coming.
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Wanna read more? DOWNLOAD it today!
Thanks for reading
- ben
Also, go back and check out the other Sweet Saturday Sample authors.
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September 13, 2012
Using My Words – Book Launch
I don’t know what I’m doing. I think I’ve made that very clear. But here I go again, launching a new title out into the world. I don’t have this figured out just yet, but I’ll share what I do know about launching a book on Kindle and how I’m going about it for the new title. I’ll be trying some new things out this time around as well so we can all see how it goes.
First – get everyone excited. I’ve been teasing and posting some samples from Dumb White Husband vs Babies for a while now. Hopefully, people are all a titter. (teehee, titter)
Second – Submit your book to Amazon’s KDP service and be patient. They’re fast and they’re getting faster, but don’t go telling everyone your book is ready the instant the buy button appears on the title. You’ll want to make sure that your book has been placed in the categories you selected. You’ll be able to tell if you scroll to the bottom of your book’s Amazon page. If it just shows one line of links in NonFiction, it has not been categorized.
You’re probably going to have a good number of sales your first day if even from just friends and family. (If you don’t, I’d say make new friends and write your family out of the will.) You’re going to want to make sure these sales help move you up the ranks in your categories. If you’re not categorized yet, they won’t help. So just be patient. (NOTE: Being patient sucks.)
Third – Tell everybody. Twitter. Facebook. Blog. Website. Harassing phone calls to loved ones. Etc. If you were able to coordinate a blog tour or interviews you should do that too. Myself, it takes all the time I have to write and work so I’ve been remiss at planning any of this stuff.
Fourth – (And here’s where I’m trying new things so I’ll talk specifically to DWH vs. Babies). I’ll post a blog about how to launch a book and tell people that they can get it here: Buy DWH vs. Babies here.
Fifth – The next day I’ll post a sample on dumbwhitehusband.com.
Sixth – I’ll participate in Sweet Saturday Sample: http://sweetsatsample.wordpress.com
Seventh – I’ll participate in Six Sunday: http://sixsunday.com
Eighth – I’ll send out my newsletter containing the next installment of my serial novel and a reminder that the new title is available.
Ninth – beer.
Tenth – More beer.
If you can get most of your expected sales concentrated in the first few days you will see your rank lower (if you don’t know, the lower the number, the higher the rank) and increase your chances of hitting the bestseller lists. From there, people will hopefully see your new title and be intrigued enough to check out the cover, the description and sample and then make a purchase.
I don’t believe in using Twitter or Facebook to over-promote, but, on launch days, people are understanding. Still, don’t overdo it.
Good luck with your launch and don’t forget to check out Dumb White Husband vs Babies: A Guide for the Unsuspecting Father.
About the book:
From the moment your wife hands you the stick covered in pee, the world is out to get you. Doctors will ignore you, baby companies will try to take advantage of you, hospitals will try to cripple you and your new child will try to make you sterile.
This everyman’s guide to becoming a father gives you every warning the other books missed and offers advice on how to get from the pregnancy till the end of your baby’s first year. It covers everything from where to hold the stick your wife spent the morning peeing on to ensuring that your baby’s first word is, “Dada.”
There’s even a twin version in case your so much of a man that you knocked up your wife twice at the same time.
Don’t go into fatherhood unprepared. Know what’s coming.
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September 12, 2012
What If a Five Minute Hate Went Two Hours Long?
Many of you have seen my past #5minh8 rants on Twitter. This is where I rant for roughly five minutes about the the important things in life like:
- People that take half a donut at work
- The gas station putting the wrong flavor of coffee in the urn
- Cats’ propensity for evil
Some of life’s most important things deserve way more than 5 minutes. Like having a baby. There are so many facets to the miracle of childbirth that 140 characters just wouldn’t do them justice.
Therefore I present to you Dumb White Husband vs. Babies: A Guide for Unsuspecting Fathers.
In this book I help new fathers get ready for all of the challenges they’ll face when their wife is having a baby. It covers the reality of doctor’s visits, the delivery, hospitals, belly buttons, diapers, bottles and all the milestones of a baby’s first year – like Meconium, rolling over and more.
So, if you’ve ever wanted to see a #5minh8 on baby’s first steps, the baby shopping list, baby proofing or any thing baby related, here is your chance.
Dumb White Husband vs Babies: A Guide for Unsuspecting Fathers is available now. Download it today.
Thanks,
ben
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