Benjamin Wallace's Blog, page 28
October 25, 2012
Using My Words – Outlining
I wasn’t much of an outliner in school. Any required outlines were made after the paper was written. It felt a lot like “showing your work” in math – something else I wasn’t a big fan of. I never understood why the right answer wasn’t enough for them.
Working on projects longer than three pages, and multiple projects at a time, I find outlines indispensable and I go through many of them before I start on a title now.
My first outline is very broad. I know where I want things to start. I kind of know how I want things to end. In the middle, there are usually several scenes I want to have play out. That’s it. Very broad indeed.
The second outline fills in the spaces between the scenes. It connects everything and usually helps strengthen the ending of the story. After this outline, almost all of my chapters are defined.
The third outline fills in the detail of each chapter. Again it’s very loose. I’ll list out what needs to be accomplished in each chapter to keep the story and characters developing and the story moving forward. I’ll also include any ideas for dialogue that I may want to play with and, since I write comedic books, any jokes that might arise from the situation.
By the end of this outline, the ending of the story is all but decided.
Then I start writing.
I used to fear an outline robbing me of any creativity. But with this method I’m still free to play around. If things change for the better it can always be altered.
I’m a huge fan of This Is Spinal Tap because it’s awesome and you should be too. This is pretty much how that masterpiece came together. A list of scenes and what needed to be conveyed. Everything else was improvised and it really worked for them.
I no longer fear the outline. I live by them. And they’ve made my work much, much stronger.
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October 23, 2012
20 Questions with Nick Orsini
1. So, what’s your book all about?
Fingerless Gloves http://apostrophebooks.com/fingerlessgloves/ is a story about being in your mid-20’s, but never actually feeling like a grown up. Anton is a guy who’s held on to feelings and habits for far too long, and even though he does adult things like pay bills, pay rent, etc… he is still very stunted. This changes on the night that his best friend, James, is taken away to the hospital under mysterious circumstances. In Anton’s quest, that night, to go person-to-person trying to figure out what happened to James, he learns how to cope with loss and letting things go. From ex-girlfriends to seedy drug dealers, all these characters come out of the woodwork to teach Anton something.
2. What inspired you to write this tale?
I was living on my own, in my first post-college apartment right outside of New York City, and I was still doing these things I thought I had to do in order to keep from growing up/getting older. I was constantly fighting against the notion of being a certain age and trying to put pieces in place for a successful future. I had to find some balance in all of it. When I wrote Anton, at his heart, he’s got a real desire to see the best parts of his life, but it gets muddled by what’s right in front of his face. I felt like that too.
3. Do you have a favorite quote about creativity/inspiration etc…? What is it?
I think Jack Kerouac said it best in On The Road: “I was surprised, as always, by how easy the act of leaving was, and how good it felt. The world was suddenly rich with possibility.” To me, that’s about knowing how to keep your eyes ahead of you, with a reverence for the past, but embracing the feeling of letting go of certain things.
4. What things do you keep in your “writing space”? Do they inspire you? Confound you? Hold wires in place?
In my writing space is a lot of letters, action figures, posters, clothes … it really is a mess. I keep it filled with pictures and reminders of places I’ve been and people I’ve known. When I feel uninspired, I look to those things to remind me of how good I’ve had it.
5. What is your perfect “writing space”?
My room in my apartment. It’s never got overhead lights on, and is choked by these trinkets and reminders of where I’ve been.
6. If your car horn could play any song, which would it be? Can’t say Dixie.
My car horn would play “Two Tickets to Paradise” by Eddie Money.
7. What would you name the first permanent settlement on mars?
The Village … just so we can take some of the negativity off of the M. Night Shyamalan film.
8. How tall is the perfect sidekick? Please explain why it even matters.
I’m not very tall, only about 5’6’’ … so my perfect sidekick would probably be about 6 feet tall, just so we could be an odd couple. I think it does matter! Your sidekick says a lot about you. Look at Robin, the quintessential sidekick to Batman. Robin is a symbol of youth, loss, eagerness, anger … all the things Batman has either lost or learned to repress. Your sidekick has to be your anthesis.
9. If you were to mess with the time stream, what would you change? Let’s assume a hundred other people already took care of Hitler so you don’t have to say, “Kill Hitler.”
I would go back to the 1992 Olympics and make The Dream Team vs. Lithuania the gold medal game.
10. Let’s say your character has a pet brown bear. What’s the bear’s name?
The bear’s name is Battery. I’ve been wanting to name something, a character, a dog, Battery for the longest time.
11. If you had to give an antagonist an annoying trait, what would it be?
I think, in Fingerless Gloves, when you see Vin Thomas, he isn’t an antagonist, but he’s passive aggressive … that’s the worst thing someone can be.
12. What kind of car would your ultimate protagonist drive?
He would drive a Ford Escape!
13. You’ve got a year to travel anywhere. Where?
I think I would like to see Spain. I’ve never been there, and all I’ve heard about it recently makes it seem like this ultimate destination. I’d go there.
14. You just bought a boat with your book fortune. What are you going to call it?
The Fire Sale, after the epic Tobias scene from Arrested Development.
15. What kind of music, if any, gets you typing the fastest?
Pop punk really gets me typing. I like it because it’s simple, relatable, and it’s usually full of these big ideas that you can personalize.
16. What’s the punch line to your favorite joke?
My uncle tells me jokes all the time. He’ll call me up to tell me jokes … and now, here we are and I can’t remember one of them. I feel ashamed.
17. What lyric do you sing poorly, yet loudly?
Any Taking Back Sunday lyric, particularly from Ghost Man on Third … one time I was maybe just a bit stoned, and waiting on the line to go to the movies, and I just kept humming, then singing, “This is what living like this does!”
18. You find a portal to another world in your sink’s drain. What is this other world called? And what is the best way to clean the portal so it doesn’t smell like old food?
The other world is called Harpoon City (just because it sounds like a comic book city) and the best way to clean the drain? I’m a Windex with vinegar type of person … you spray it, then wipe it down, and it gets clean and smells like you just cooked something or made a salad.
19. Where can people learn more about you, your work or any pets you have?
If people want to learn about Nick Orsini unfiltered, then they should follow my Twitter ( HYPERLINK “http://www.twitter.com/nickorsini” www.twitter.com/nickorsini) …things get kind of weird on there. I like it.
Links to buy Fingerless Gloves:
Amazon USA: http://www.amazon.com/Fingerless-Gloves-ebook/dp/B009K4U6UG
Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fingerless-Gloves-ebook/dp/B009K4U6UG
iBookstore USA: http://goo.gl/txhCn
iBookstore UK: http://goo.gl/3vK7n
Kobo USA: http://goo.gl/uVtsi
Kobo UK: http://goo.gl/uVtsi
Links to find out more about Fingerless Gloves:
On Apostrophe Books: http://apostrophebooks.com/fingerlessgloves
On Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16064385-fingerless-gloves
On Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FingerlessGlovesByNickOrsini
On Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/apostrophebooks/fingerless-gloves-by-nick-orsini/
20. What’s next?
More poems to be written and novels to finish. I’ve started (and am about ¼ of the way done with the rough draft) my third book. I also work in advertising in New York City, so I’m always making fun things.
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October 22, 2012
Announcing Dumb White Husband for President (and other stories)
Dumb White Husband for President & Other Stories
There comes a time in every man’s life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John Matthews doesn’t believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there’s only one things he can do – run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.
John and two of his neighbors put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block.
You asked for a longer Dumb White Husband story so here it is. Dumb White Husband for President includes the new novella plus the 4 original short stories.
It’s available now for a limited time price of just .99¢.
Get it now before the regular price takes effect.
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October 18, 2012
Using My Words – Swimming
What does swimming have to do with writing?
I’ve got three kids. Loud ones. I’ve got a wonderful wife. I’ve got a full-time job. I’ve got two dogs. This is all great, but you know what I don’t get a lot of? Quiet. With all this, even when nothing is going on, something is going on. I can never get true peace and quiet.
I’ve also struggled to get back to the gym for years. I’m not a morning person. I’ve tried and I’ll never be a morning person. I finally broke down and started going to the gym to hit the pool right after the kids’ bedtime. This cut into my normal writing time and I feared I would lose ground but I needed to get back in shape.
It ended up being perfect. I’ve always liked swimming. I rocked the pool at Marco Polo. It’s been great for me physically but it had a surprising side effect. Quiet.
I swim for half an hour in almost total silence which gives me half an hour to plan out what I’ll be writing that night. My daily word count has shot up to 2500 to 3000 words in the two hours following my return from the gym because I know exactly what I’ll be writing.
The side-side effect of all this is that I’m more committed to getting to the gym. Rather than struggling to fit it in with all of the writing I want to do, it has quickly become an integral part of my writing process.
I can’t wait to get to the pool and plan. It’s so quiet underwater.
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October 16, 2012
20 Questions with Nicole J. Persun
1. So, what’s your book all about?
My book combines adventure, romance, and intrigue in a young adult fantasy. Here’s more from the back cover:
Max, a young woman who has just escaped a life of slavery, has found herself at the heart of a heated rebellion and a complicated legend. As the kingdom of Alice seeks power among the realm, a flawed goddess is thrown from the heavens and forced to reside inside Max’s body. The king of Alice, well aware of the rewards the goddess will grant upon whichever kingdom releases her from her human cage, sends spies out to capture Max and release the goddess in the most ruthless way: through death.
Max soon begins a relentless quest to find another way to release the goddess, all the while running from the rogue kingdom’s pursuit. With the help of a wayward prince, his twin brother, and a woman of fire, Max must stay hidden long enough to finally gain her freedom.
A captivating tale of love, freedom, and choices, Nicole J. Persun’s debut novel proves to be an excellent glimpse into a successful writing career.
2. What inspired you to write this tale?
A Kingdom’s Possession started from a map. I created the fantastical land where it takes place in the back of the car on a long drive. Once the setting was established, the characters started showing up, I gained ideas for a pot, and the book was born.
3. Do you have a favorite quote about creativity/inspiration etc…? What is it?
Gosh, there are so many to choose from! I guess at this moment, the first one that comes to mind is this: “Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” – E.L. Doctorow
I love this quote because it describes my process exactly. There’s always a path to follow, always a destination, but you take the journey one mile at a time.
4. What things do you keep in your “writing space”? Do they inspire you? Confound you? Hold wires in place?
I used to light candles while I wrote, but nowadays the only ritual-like items I keep around while I’m writing are my novel boards. They’re basically just big corkboards where I tack up 3×5 cards with notes, ideas, drawings, maps, and things to keep in mind as I’m working on a book. I like the visual esthetic and they make me feel grounded and organized as I’m writing. They’re always close by for when I need to pause from my prose and write a note.
5. What is your perfect “writing space”?
Ideally, I like my writing space quiet, uncluttered, and fairly-dark (I write best in early morning, when it still feels as though the world is quiet and I’m not missing any daylight). I write on my Mac, next to a novel board, and usually have my cat sleeping nearby (he prefers my bed).
6. If your car horn could play any song, which would it be? Can’t say Dixie.
Honestly, I have no idea! I think, if I could, I’d have it play a song to fit my mood at the time. For example, if I’m in a hurry and stuck in traffic, it would play some heavy rock, where if I’m beeping to a friend on the sidewalk, it would play something more cheerful.
7. What would you name the first permanent settlement on mars?
Something awesome and clever. Let me get back to you on that…
8. How tall is the perfect sidekick? Please explain why it even matters.
Preferably, a sidekick that is shorter than the hero. The hero is the front man! He can’t be upstaged by the sidekick. Think Batman and Robin. The only way a sidekick is ever bigger than the hero is if he looks or acts obscure.
9. If you were to mess with the time stream, what would you change? Let’s assume a hundred other people already took care of Hitler so you don’t have to say, “Kill Hitler.”
Why on Earth would I EVER want to mess with the time stream? It’s obviously a very delicate system. If I were to screw that up, who knows what the future would hold? I’m not taking any chances.
10. Let’s say your character has a pet brown bear. What’s the bear’s name?
I consulted the Baby Names book on my desk. I like Armel.
11. If you had to give an antagonist an annoying trait, what would it be?
Hmmm…I’d probably have to say, the annoying trait would be good luck. What’s more annoying than an antagonist who has fantastic luck all the time?
12. What kind of car would your ultimate protagonist drive?
A Porsche.
13. You’ve got a year to travel anywhere. Where?
I’ve always wanted to take a trip along the northern countries of the Mediterranean. I’d start in Spain, then visit France, then Italy, then Greece. I’d KILL for the time and money to make that trip!
14. You just bought a boat with your book fortune. What are you going to call it?
I’m feeling at a loss for boat names today (weird, since I’m usually a boat-name pro!), so I went to my boyfriend for some help. He came up with “Prose of the Sea” and “OceanWriter,” which would both work well for me. Either those, or I’d go with the title of the book that got me the fortune.
On second thought, maybe I’d use the book title for the name of my private jet…
15. What kind of music, if any, gets you typing the fastest?
I type the fastest and get in the best Zone when it’s quiet. I can’t focus with music on.
16. What’s the punch line to your favorite joke?
Unique up on it!
17. What lyric do you sing poorly, yet loudly?
Anything by Adele.
18. You find a portal to another world in your sink’s drain. What is this other world called? And what is the best way to clean the portal so it doesn’t smell like old food?
Well I’d say Narnia, but I think that’s taken. Anyway, I hear Draino works pretty well.
19. Where can people learn more about you, your work or any pets you have?
My Website www.nicolejpersun.com or blog: www.nicolejpersun.wordpress.com. Or email me!
20. What’s next?
Book wise, I’m currently editing my third book, a dark adult fantasy about a schizophrenic king who goes to war with himself. I’ll be starting the sequel soon.
In general, I’m just about to grill some steak for dinner…
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October 13, 2012
Sweet Saturday Sample 10/13
Welcome everyone. Here’s the Sweet Saturday Sample: #SweetSat
“Vocation?”
“Post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior.”
“Nomad,” the man said to himself as he scratched at a piece of paper with the nub of a pencil.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t say nomad. Post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior.”
“What’s the difference?”
“It’s a pretty big difference.”
Roy Tinner was a balding man and refused to admit it. He sat on the town council and had volunteered long ago to interview any visitors that may wander into the gates of his fair town. Though small in stature, and more than a little heavyset, he viewed himself as the first and best line of defense the town of New Hope had against the threat of immigrants, idiots, and those that happened to be both.
“Fine, I’ll put nomadic warrior.”
“But, that’s not it. It’s post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior.”
Roy looked up from the handwritten form. “Look. You can’t have a time reference in your vocation.”
“Yes, I can.”
“Who does that? No one does that. Farmers don’t call themselves pre-winter harvesters. There’s no point. A farmer is a farmer whenever he’s a farmer. Same with a nomadic warrior or … whatever.”
“I’m not a farmer, good sir. I could have been a farmer. I could have been anything: a water purifier, gasoline refiner, scavenger, hunter, gatherer, post-apocalyptic dentist …
“But, I chose to be a post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior. And, in doing so, have mastered the skills necessary to survive the mutants, toxins, gangs, and other dangers in the wasteland. I can survive in the Great Western Wastes, the Poisoned Pacific Northwest, or Detroit.
“I have studied weaponology, mechanics, electronics, and engineering. I can weld and shoot straighter than most any man.
“I have studied psychology, strategy, and Dale Carnegie.
“It’s for all of these reasons and more that I ask you to, please, list my occupation as post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior.”
The apocalypse had bred a tremendous amount of and Roy Tinner had met his fair share. Many had genuinely gone crazy dealing with the devastation and loss of family and friends. Others had seen the world-ending event as a chance to start over, redefined themselves, and created a life they could never have achieved in a civilized society.
Some claimed to be celebrities; if they didn’t resemble the famous person they would claim that they had been disfigured by one of the many agents used in the warheads.
A few claimed to be royalty, declaring themselves kings or queens to vast swaths of land or states if not the country or continent.
The man who sat before him, however, was not trying to make such a claim. This nomad that sat before the councilman believed every word he had said. Etching on his duster was proof of countless days spent in the wasteland—the canvas was frayed by nights spent on rock and rough ground. Calloused hands told of a life of physical labor. A sharpness in the nomad’s eyes convinced the councilman that the man in front of him was not crazy.
Conviction, not pride, had prompted the man before him to request the title. The councilman could see that. Like the master mason or the decorated soldier, it was respect that this man was looking for. Respect, not for himself, but for the craft he studied. An acknowledgment to the dedication, the thousands of hours spent mastering the skills that defined his ilk was all he sought. The recognition was not only for himself, but also for others in his trade.
Raising a soiled handkerchief from the desk, the councilman dabbed at the sweat on his brow as he studied the man. Roy could respect the nomad for making a fuss over the entry on the form—but he didn’t have to.
Roy picked up the pencil and began to write, “Nomadic Warrior.”
“You can’t spell apocalyptic, can you?”
“Of course I can spell apocalyptic! We’ve all been living in a post-apocalyptic world for seven years now. You don’t think I’ve had to write apocalyptic over and over again?” He looked back to the paper and paused.
“A-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-t-i-c.”
The councilman took a deep breath and scribbled furiously, “… alyptic nomadic …” he trailed off and finished writing the full occupation, curving the last few letters of ‘warrior’ up the edge of the page to fit.
“Name?”
“That’s up to you.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Well, not you per say. The town.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The first rule of being a post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior is that you don’t have a name. Eventually, the people I help will give me a nickname, never wanting to know the real me.”
“What?”
“That’s okay. It makes writing the folklore easier.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“No, it’s not. All post-apocalyptic nomadic warriors don’t have names.”
“Sure they do.”
“No, they don’t. Did the man with no name have a name? No, he didn’t. What’s-his-face didn’t have one either. Neither did the stranger.”
Before the apocalypse, Roy Tinner’s blood pressure had been high, a condition the doctors had attributed to overeating and overreacting to just about everything. Even though the doctors vaporized, melted, exploded, rotted, or had been eaten, like most of the world’s population, he felt it was best to behave as though his stress levels had not been reduced since the sweeping destruction of society and man.
Relaxing had never come easy to him, but he did his best to ease the muscles in his neck and smiled at the infuriating nomad. “Well, what should I write down?”
“Just leave it blank. You can fill it in later once I’m given a nickname.”
“I’m thinking of one right now,” the councilman muttered as he struck a line through the field on the form.
—————————————————————————————————————
Wanna read more? Last Day to DOWNLOAD it for FREE!
Thanks for reading
- ben
Also, go back and check out the other Sweet Saturday Sample authors.
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October 11, 2012
Using My Words – Free Books
I’ve paid for advertising on book blogs. I’ve targeted ads on special interest blogs. I’ve paid for Adwords and Facebook ads. I’ve done interviews. I’ve done guest blogs. I even did a post for cnngo.com. I recorded a character interview. I have two blogs. I have over 27,000 Followers on Twitter and almost 200 hundred on Facebook. And, nothing, nothing has worked as well to promote my books as a free giveaway.
In May I celebrated a year as an author. By that point I had sold 10,000 copies of all of my titles combined. To say thank you, I gave away my first book, Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors for free for a couple of days using Amazon’s KDP select program.
In the first day and a half I gave away 7,500 copies.
Again, in one year I sold 10,000 total books across my library. In a day and a half I gave away 7,500.
Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors made the Top 30 of Amazon’s FREE list. Three to five a second were being downloaded. It was insane.
It’s my thought that most of those downloads will never be read. I think a lot of people load up on free books and probably never get around to them.
Even so, my sales jumped. At the time I was selling about 10 copies of the book a day. After the promo ended It jumped to nearly 100. I still have never hit that magic moment others talk about when they’re selling 1000′s a day. But for that month sales were the best I’d seen.
The power of the giveaway is the ranking. The more people that grab it for free, the higher your book will appear on the paid lists when it’s over. It’s a little scary to see so many copies going out – you’re constantly thinking, “there goes another couple of bucks,” but you know that’s not the case. Most of these people would not have taken the chance on you if the title wasn’t free. Don’t worry. The bump comes after the giveaway.
Still you should do everything you can to help push the freebies. Ask your Twitter friends to spread the news. Create a promotional graphic for it like this one:
Write a blog post about it. Whatever you can do. Get those numbers up. I can’t promise you’ll see a jump but it costs you nothing.
By the way, Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors is really free this week. Get it here. As of now I’ve given away over 3600 copies. it’s at #61 on Amazon’s free list. I know it can go higher.
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October 9, 2012
Holy Crap! Free Book!
17 months on the bestseller list
Pickup the #1 Amazon Comedy, Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors, for FREE today. http://amzn.to/PostANW
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20 Questions with Terry Persun
1. So, what’s your book all about?
Cathedral of Dreams is about a utopian city (Newcity) and a dystopian outside world (one that stopped progressing technologically once the Newcity structures were put up). Keith is a resident of Newcity, but isn’t happy there. His emotion-control chip has failed before, and now that he’s having dreams, he knows it’s about to happen again. Then, there are the hallucinations, which he eventually follows in order to escape Newcity. What he finds outside isn’t any better than his life inside, though. When he realizes that he could be part of an attack on Newcity, he has to decide where his alliances lie.
2. What inspired you to write this tale?
Like most of my novels, this came to me over a period of time, little by little, and didn’t have any specific beginning. Inspiration may come suddenly, but a novel has to percolate in my brain over time.
3. Do you have a favorite quote about creativity/inspiration etc…? What is it?
I have a quote about writing that I like: “Literature is strewn with the wreckage of those who have minded beyond reason the opinion of others.” – Virginia Woolf
4. What things do you keep in your “writing space”? Do they inspire you? Confound you? Hold wires in place?
My writing space is also my work office (I work from home) and I have everything from copies of my own published books to feathers I’ve found, things I’ve collected or been given, and paper, lots of paper.
5. What is your perfect “writing space”?
My office is my perfect writing space. That’s where my computer is. It’s quiet. It’s separate from my house. I can be alone and quiet or noisy or whatever I like in there, and I am left alone.
6. If your car horn could play any song, which would it be? Can’t say Dixie.
“Yonder Stands the Sinner” by Neil Young
7. What would you name the first permanent settlement on mars?
Disney. I think that would be really funny. Or maybe Bradbury, which would be apropos.
8. How tall is the perfect sidekick? Please explain why it even matters.
The perfect sidekick is at least six inches shorter than the hero, or six inches taller, depending upon the intention of the story being told. Six inches is noticeable. If it were less than that, their heights would be too close and not noticeably different. We want the sidekick to have to look up or down with some motion of the head to create the image of the imbalance between the two.
9. If you were to mess with the time stream, what would you change? Let’s assume a hundred other people already took care of Hitler so you don’t have to say, “Kill Hitler.”
Oh, if I were writing this into a science fiction novel, I’d want to get rid of Einstein. We don’t have to kill him, but squelch his influence. This would open the gates to other theories that could change a lot about how we see the universe.
10. Let’s say your character has a pet brown bear. What’s the bear’s name?
Fuzzy if it’s a comic character slot, and Killer if it’s for a more dramatic book.
11. If you had to give an antagonist an annoying trait, what would it be?
Picking their nose in public. Not the deep picking, but the quick finger in the nose and then out of the nose again. Just enough to make people think twice before shaking hands, or to reflect on their hand shake if they see the annoying trait after they’ve met.
12. What kind of car would your ultimate protagonist drive?
I love the rough and tumble characters sometimes and might put him in an old Pinto. One of the ones that blew up if rear-ended.
13. You’ve got a year to travel anywhere. Where?
Europe, for now. When they have the Moon Elevator up and running, I’m going to the moon.
14. You just bought a boat with your book fortune. What are you going to call it?
Doublesight (after an upcoming novel).
15. What kind of music, if any, gets you typing the fastest?
I can’t typically listen to music while I’m writing. But, when I do let that happen it has to be classical music, anything with a lot of violins in it.
16. What’s the punch line to your favorite joke?
You asked for it: “I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and ten fucking bucks for a fucked up duck.” Gets me every time.
17. What lyric do you sing poorly, yet loudly?
“Old Man” by Neil Young. Can you tell I’m a Neil Young fan?
18. You find a portal to another world in your sink’s drain. What is this other world called? And what is the best way to clean the portal so it doesn’t smell like old food?
Slemp Poppolary. You have to clean it with cotton candy and garlic. It stops smelling like old food, but sometimes takes on the odor of a bad Italian restaurant.
19. Where can people learn more about you, your work or any pets you have?
Oh, my website can help out there: www.TerryPersun.com or my blog, which is at: www.TerryPersun.blogspot.com for now.
20. What’s next?
I have a novel about robots using time machines that was a lot of fun to write. It should be out in late September or early October. It’s called Revision 7: DNA. Tell all your friends.
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October 4, 2012
Using My Words – Reviews II
Before the whole paid reviews thing popped in the NYT a few weeks ago I fully intended to write a post about reviews that was geared more to how I cope with them.
Reviews are great. I love em when they are good. I try to learn from them when they are poor.
I knew getting into this that what I write is for not for everyone. As I understand, comedy was always hard to sell to publishers because humor is so subjective that they couldn’t be certain it would find a market.
I love to hear that people laughed out loud when they read my stories. I love to hear that it brightened their day. That it helped them escape for a little while and just enjoy themselves. That’s all I’ve ever tried to accomplish. I’m not going for any awards. I don’t want to be recognized as some great literary talent. I just want to make people happy.
That’s why bad reviews used to sting. I didn’t make them happy. I try to take away lessons from one-star reviews. But here’s the thing, they usually aren’t very constructive. Almost exclusively, they have been posted just so the reviewer can let everyone know that they are not happy and that everyone who liked the story was stupid.
Believe me. I can take criticism. After years in advertising, I’ve got a pretty thick skin and, I’m open to learning from it. But so far all I’ve really learned is that some people are grumps. Some people are whiny. And some people are contrarians.
Of course, I knew this before. I had met people. But, I took the unhappy reviews a little too seriously at first. They’d put me in a funk.
Then I started to learn more. People that rated me poorly literally put me in the same category as Catch-22 and George Carlin. One reviewers profile said they liked to find books people liked and dog on them. Others rated nothing above a 1 or 2 which lead me to believe that they were really bad at picking out books for themselves. Some folks had a list of exclusively literary and classic novels rated at 5-stars and then said Dumb White Husband sucked. Well, duh.
Oddly enough, most of my 1-star reviews come after I’ve given the book away for free. So these people are indeed the same ones that complain about free beer at parties and complain that you ordered the pizza they didn’t like for the office lunch. You know? Dickwads.
Bad reviews are going to happen. If one is constructive, you should learn from it and take the feedback into consideration. But, you should also know by now that some people are just big, dumb, mean jerks that want to let the world know that they disagree with everybody. They have a right to their opinion and you have every right to ignore it. Don’t let it ruin your day(s).
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