Benjamin Wallace's Blog, page 19

Free Halloween Short Story

In the spirit of Halloween, I’m handing out a treat this month. Sign up for my newsletter and you’ll get a copy of Dumb White Husband vs Halloween to put in your metaphorical sack.

About the Story

Chris doesn’t get excited about much, but when Halloween rolls around he goes all out. He’s had the scariest house on the block for years and intends to keep it that way. When a neighbor steps up and tries to out-scare the trick-or-treaters, he takes things a little personally.

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Gimmie Gimmie

In the spirit of Halloween I’m handing a treat this month. Sign up for my newsletter and you’ll get a copy of Dumb White Husband vs Halloween to put in your metaphorical sack.

 

About the Story

Chris doesn’t get excited about much, but when Halloween rolls around he goes all out. He’s had the scariest house on the block for years and intends to keep it that way. When a neighbor steps up and tries to out-scare the trick-or-treaters, he takes things a little personally.

Sign up now.

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I’ve Screwed Up: 5 Strategic Mistakes In Self-Publishing

We’re supposed to learn from our mistakes.

It’s what makes us grow as people or something. Usually I find it better to learn from others’ mistakes. It saves me the embarrassment that comes with the lesson.

But, sometimes making our own mistakes is unavoidable. In those cases we should default to the conventional wisdom. I’ve made my share of mistakes and I’m trying to learn from them. But, there’s no reason you shouldn’t benefit from my errors as well. Today I’ll be focusing on those relating to self-publishing because you don’t have all day. Even then, I’ll keep it to five though I’m sure I’ve made many more.

Before we begin, let’s look at where my mistakes have gotten me just so you have a sense of scale.

I began self-publishing my work three or four years ago. Right out of the gates I was fortunate to gain some positive attention. I was selling thousands of books a month. 25,000 in the first year. At it’s peak I was just waiting for my boss to ask me to work the weekend so I could storm out.

But things have changed. The market has changed a lot and sales aren’t what they were. Not even close. Not even remotely close. Other authors that began publishing at the same time as I did have gone on to tremendous success. Looking back at what they did there are some clear discrepancies in my path. Here are five places where I’m pretty sure I went wrong.

I DIDN’T FOCUS ON A SERIES

My first book was well-received. Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors sat in the top 1500 on Amazon for a year. It held one of the top 3 spots in comedy for six months straight changing places only with my other titles. Did I write the sequel right away? No. I’m working on it now. Three or four years later. It’s what my readers seem to want most. I should have written it then.

Instead I wrote several other titles that were also intended as series: The Bulletproof Adventures of Damian Stockwell, Dumb White Husband, Pilgrim, Tortugas Rising. Those were my interests and where my passion was at the time. It was what I wanted to do. Not what the market wanted. Readers like a series. Many say they won’t start a book unless they know there are at least two more to follow it.

I should have focused on a series before branching off into other works.

I IGNORED MY EMAIL LIST

Many people graciously invited me into the their inbox but I’ve always struggled on how to make an email worth their time. I’m so active on social media that I feel they must get tired of hearing from me. This dilemma always made me shy away from building a decent newsletter list.

But, having a decent mailing list is the surest way to reach readers. Readers that are eager to hear about new work. Now, I’m very focused on it. You may have noticed that for the past few months, signing up for my list gets you a free story. I intend to keep that up and build that list because…

I CHASED WHAT WAS WORKING AND WHAT WORKS CHANGES

I had tremendous success with Twitter. And I had so much fun interacting with everyone. But time goes on and things fall out of favor. Twitter seems a wasteland compared to what it use to be. Usage is way down. Interaction is way down. It’s changed.

Then Facebook changed their algorithm. If someone wanted to see what was on your page all they had to do was like you. Now they have to like you and comment on posts if they want to see you. Or, I can pay for the people that liked my page to see my posts which is cost prohibitive. I get why Facebook did it. But, it’s effectiveness has dropped far below useful.

The advantage of free books were destroyed by their abundance. Bookbub and like sites give you a boost but no sustained lift. (Unless you have a series, I hear.) And the effective ones have grown so big they are restrictions are hard to meet by average sellers.

Things change and they’re out of our control. The only items an author has complete control over are things he or she owns. That’s a mailing list and a website. (And my website’s a mess. I know.)

I SPREAD MYSELF TOO THIN

I wanted to do everything. When I came home to write full time I had so much energy. I was going to illustrate. I was going to write a book a month. I was going to do freelance copywriting. Guess which one took off. The freelance has been a blessing but I hardly have the time to write that I use to.

But, the family stays fed and that’s important, too.

I SLOWED DOWN

But my biggest mistake—I slowed down. I was releasing titles consistently. I was on a roll. Once that streak was broken, it’s been hard to get back up to speed. The lack of new releases combined with a lack of visibility from the reasons above were death to sales. I still had people waiting for my next release. But they never got the news. And the more I’ve slowed down, the less news I have to share.

So those are my five biggest mistakes. I’m sure I’ve made others and would be willing to hear what you think they are.  I want to say I learn from my mistakes. And hopefully you can learn from them without having to make them yourself.

 

anyway, join my newsletter. You’ll get a free Halloween short story.

-ben

____________________________________________

New Release – Gone to the Dogs 

Sasquatch and Fidget have survived a viral epidemic. But, their human didn’t. Now this Great Dane and beagle are trapped inside with no thumbs to let them out. What will they do? How will they survive? Where will they “go”? Find out in Gone to the Dogs.


Buy it here.


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I’ve Screwed Up: 5 Mistakes I’ve Made In Self-Publishing

We’re supposed to learn from our mistakes.

It’s what makes us grow as people or something. Usually I find it better to learn from others’ mistakes. It saves me the embarrassment that comes with the lesson.

But, sometimes making our own mistakes is unavoidable. In those cases we should default to the conventional wisdom. I’ve made my share of mistakes and I’m trying to learn from them. But, there’s no reason you shouldn’t benefit from my errors as well. Today I’ll be focusing on those relating to self-publishing because you don’t have all day. Even then, I’ll keep it to five though I’m sure I’ve made many more.

Before we begin, let’s look at where my mistakes have gotten me just so you have a sense of scale.

I began self-publishing my work three or four years ago. Right out of the gates I was fortunate to gain some positive attention. I was selling thousands of books a month. 25,000 in the first year. At it’s peak I was just waiting for my boss to ask me to work the weekend so I could storm out.

But things have changed. The market has changed a lot and sales aren’t what they were. Not even close. Not even remotely close. Other authors that began publishing at the same time as I did have gone on to tremendous success. Looking back at what they did there are some clear discrepancies in my path. Here are five places where I’m pretty sure I went wrong.

I DIDN’T FOCUS ON A SERIES

My first book was well-received. Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors sat in the top 1500 on Amazon for a year. It held one of the top 3 spots in comedy for six months straight changing places only with my other titles. Did I write the sequel right away? No. I’m working on it now. Three or four years later. It’s what my readers seem to want most. I should have written it then.

Instead I wrote several other titles that were also intended as series: The Bulletproof Adventures of Damian Stockwell, Dumb White Husband, Pilgrim, Tortugas Rising. Those were my interests and where my passion was at the time. It was what I wanted to do. Not what the market wanted. Readers like a series. Many say they won’t start a book unless they know there are at least two more to follow it.

I should have focused on a series before branching off into other works.

I IGNORED MY EMAIL LIST

Many people graciously invited me into the their inbox but I’ve always struggled on how to make an email worth their time. I’m so active on social media that I feel they must get tired of hearing from me. This dilemma always made me shy away from building a decent newsletter list.

But, having a decent mailing list is the surest way to reach readers. Readers that are eager to hear about new work. Now, I’m very focused on it. You may have noticed that for the past few months, signing up for my list gets you a free story. I intend to keep that up and build that list because…

I CHASED WHAT WAS WORKING AND WHAT WORKS CHANGES

I had tremendous success with Twitter. And I had so much fun interacting with everyone. But time goes on and things fall out of favor. Twitter seems a wasteland compared to what it use to be. Usage is way down. Interaction is way down. It’s changed.

Then Facebook changed their algorithm. If someone wanted to see what was on your page all they had to do was like you. Now they have to like you and comment on posts if they want to see you. Or, I can pay for the people that liked my page to see my posts which is cost prohibitive. I get why Facebook did it. But, it’s effectiveness has dropped far below useful.

The advantage of free books were destroyed by their abundance. Bookbub and like sites give you a boost but no sustained lift. (Unless you have a series, I hear.) And the effective ones have grown so big they are restrictions are hard to meet by average sellers.

Things change and they’re out of our control. The only items an author has complete control over are things he or she owns. That’s a mailing list and a website. (And my website’s a mess. I know.)

I SPREAD MYSELF TOO THIN

I wanted to do everything. When I came home to write full time I had so much energy. I was going to illustrate. I was going to write a book a month. I was going to do freelance copywriting. Guess which one took off. The freelance has been a blessing but I hardly have the time to write that I use to.

But, the family stays fed and that’s important, too.

I SLOWED DOWN

But my biggest mistake—I slowed down. I was releasing titles consistently. I was on a roll. Once that streak was broken, it’s been hard to get back up to speed. The lack of new releases combined with a lack of visibility from the reasons above were death to sales. I still had people waiting for my next release. But they never got the news. And the more I’ve slowed down, the less news I have to share.

So those are my five biggest mistakes. I want to say I’ve learned from my mistakes. And hopefully you can learn from them without having to make them yourself.

Join my newsletter.

-ben

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Coming Soon: Gone to the Dogs

GONE TO THE DOGS

Many books have explored what happens to people after an apocalypse. But, what about our pets? How will they handle the end of the world?

Gone to the Dogs explores the beginning of the end of the world with Sasquatch and Fidget, a Great Dane and beagle.

The story will be released next week. And, you’ll get it for free if you subscribe to my newsletter.

 

New subscribers also get Alternate Realty.

That’s a whole lot of free.

 

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SELF-PUBLISHING ADVICE: THE TOUGH LOVE EDITION Part 1

Part 1: Write a Good Book

This is the first in a series of posts discussing self-publishing advice. I’ve given it to many people. Unfortunately many of those didn’t get it.

The first piece of advice I (and almost everybody else) give aspiring writers is “Write A Good Book.” A good book is the single most important part of selling books.

 

Write a Good Book

Almost all authors sweat the quality of their book. They panic over story. They deliberate the placement of a single word. They kill pieces of themselves in the editing process and then sheepishly hand the book to the world with 100% uncertainty that it’s any good.

That’s usually the sign of a good book.

But not all authors do this. No, there are others that are more concerned about being authors than writing books. There are some that are more worried about sales than story.

I’m not sure why. Maybe the dream of striking gold in the mines of Kindle still burns for some. Maybe others figure people that reads books is dumbs and will buy anything. Maybe some think that a book is nothing more words on a page and gave little thought to placing them in any discernible order. Maybe they haven’t reach much. Maybe they can’t read at all.

The only common thread I see is an insistence that the work is amazing. And they believe this for one reason—the work has been rejected by a publisher. They see this as a sure sign that their book is gold and unappreciated. While it’s true that publishers have passed on fantastic books in the past, they are really good at spotting terrible books as well.

You have to be objective

It is crucial that you be objective about your book. There is a market for any material on any topic in any genre. But, it has to be well written. It has to be interesting. You have to divorce yourself from the passion you felt writing the material long enough to be honest with yourself. Is it the best work you can do? Is that good enough?

Many of these authors find me and ask me why I think there book isn’t selling. They want to know if I can help. I really am a nice person so, I’ll read the book blurb and get an idea of the book and it’s contents. I’ll explain the impression that I get and remind them that it is every browser’s introduction to the work. The description and sample should give everyone an idea of what’s inside the book. I suggest that maybe they want look long and hard to make sure it’s giving the right impression.

They tell me they did that.

They start to get defensive.

They demand to know why their book isn’t selling and what I can do to help.

For free, of course.

And, I never respond fast enough for them.

I want to help. I really do. But it seems that there are people out there that, although they are writers, can’t read between the lines. So, out of love, and partly because I’m tired of getting the attitude, I think they need to hear this:

 

Dear Indignant Prick,

I can indeed tell you why no one is buying your book. Because, it fucking sucks, that’s why. Please pardon my harsh language but your book is so fucking bad that only the words “fucking” and  “sucks” can described it.

I’m not sure if your normal method of communicating is banging rocks together and making fart noises with your armpit, but your basic understanding of language and human interaction is apparently lacking.

I had to go get a fucking Advil in the middle of your description’s first sentence. And, it is only because I am so kind and giving that I risked reading the other half of it. I could have died.  Your arrangement of words could potentially induce a stroke.

If this in any indication of what your book is like than I am amazed that you were able to write it and retain basic motor function. It’s painfully obvious to me that you didn’t use the services of an editor because I would have read about their horrific head-exploding death on the internet. If words were truly weapons your book would be the weaponized version of ebola.

Furthermore, after breaking out an assortment of cipher tools and running one of the passages through a Cray supercomputer, I was able to deduce the plot of your book—it’s been done. And, then it was done again. And again. Then they made a movie about it. Then they rebooted the franchise. You probably own the bed sheets. They’re working on the TV series right now.

Your book is either a straight rip off or a derivative of a cliché. You know what derivative means? It means you’re fucking lazy. People don’t want lazy. They want well-told stories that aren’t going to induce a damn migraine every time the see two of the words you’ve written next to each other.

So, can I get people to buy your book? No. I can get a hundred people a day to your page but they’d all hate me for sending them there. Because when they read that first sentence—and they get that migraine—they can tell you didn’t try. They can tell you didn’t care to try. You didn’t even try to trick them into thinking you tried. Why would they ever read a book like that?

There’s a saying that goes: the worst thing you can do for a bad product is good advertising. They wrote that saying about your book. And they wrote it years ago because they knew one day your were going to write that shitty book and they wanted to arm me with some wisdom to give you.

In closing, my advice to you is to Write a Good Book. Because the one you wrote fucking sucks.

Hugs and Kisses,

ben

 

I like to help. I really do. But if you’re not going to be honest with yourself, I’m gong to be honest with yourself for you.

__________________________________

I’ve written a story that explores what would happen to our pets in the event humans were wiped off the Earth. It’s a comedy. Think Milo & Otis meets The Stand. You’ll get the story for free when it’s released if you’re signed up for my newsletter.

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SELF-PUBLISHING ADVICE: TOUGH LOVE EDITION

I enjoy helping people. I really do. It’s the sucker in me.

Over the last few years many, many aspiring authors have contacted me to ask for advice on how to sell their books. I’ve happily answered every one of them.

 My advice is not unlike authors others:

Write a good book – Make sure you’ve written the best book you can. I never judge by genre or topic because every good book has an audience. That’s one of the great things about ebooks is that niches that were once too small to market too on a grand scale are now accessible through the internet.

Get a great cover – This advice undoubtedly popped up the day after the first ebook was published and it’s only become more important. Your cover needs to attract the eye at full and stamp-size. It’s needs to be of professional quality.

Make your book available – People can’t buy your book if they can’t find your book.

Write more books – You need to write more books. One is not going to do it. The more titles you have, the more ways readers have to discover you.

See, nothing Earth shattering. My guess is if you search for “Self-publishing Advice” this is exactly what you’ll find.

But, I’m adding a new one:

Be honest – You have to look at your work objectively. Writing is a passionate process but marketing is cold and soulless. I’m not saying address your work to make it appeal to everybody. That’s a fantastic way to make a terrible book. But you have to consider your target and look at your book through their eyes.

Is this easy? No. Is it fun? No. Is it important? You see where I’m going.

You absolutely have to be objective.

So there is the advice I give to writers, in one variation or another, when they ask for my help. I’ll gently remind them of each point.

Pretty clear, right?

Well, apparently not, because, even though most show their appreciation and go on to do their best, others have—comments. Comments and attitudes.

It is for those people that I will be writing a new series of posts focusing on each piece of advice.  I’ll be expanding on each point in a very straightforward manner so there’s no confusion because for some people it takes a little tough love to get through because if they’re not going to be honest with themselves, I’m going to do it for them.

The first post will go up Monday and it will be called, Tough Love—Write a Good Book.

Alternate title: Your Book Sucks Ass

__________________________________

I’ve written a story that explores what would happen to our pets in the event humans were wiped off the Earth. It’s a comedy. Think Milo & Otis meets The Stand. You’ll get the story for free when it’s released if you’re signed up for my newsletter.

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I’m Not Writing For You Anymore

I’m not writing for you anymore. And, I’ll be honest, I never really wanted to. I wanted to write for me. It was a totally selfish act.

When I first started writing books it was a way to escape the pressures of my day job. I’d sit by myself for hours without a clue as to what I was doing. I didn’t know if what I was writing was any good, or if any one was going to like it, and it didn’t matter. I liked it.

Now, a few years later I have the pressure of a thousand eyes on me as I write. And no one likes people looking over their shoulder when they type.

So I’m going to be writing for myself again. I never tried to write a book that would sell. I never tried to write a book that would be popular. I wrote as an escape from a routine I didn’t enjoy. And I think it was better that way.

Lately I’ve found myself thinking too much about what would sell. I’ve been watching the rankings. I’ve been studying trends. I’ve been trying to crack the Da Vinci code that is the world of publishing. And, that isn’t any fun.

So, I’m not doing it anymore. That being said, there’s plenty of new stuff on the way but, I’m just going to focus on writing stories I enjoy filled with jokes that I find funny.

I’m not writing for you anymore, but I hope you enjoy it.

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Meet My Character Blog Tour

Welcome to my leg of the Meet My Character Blog Tour.

I’d like to thank Thomas Scott for inviting me to participate. Thomas is the author of the State Series which includes State of Anger and State of Betrayal. Each follows the protagonist Virgil Jones, a detective with the Indiana State Police Major Crimes Unit. He’s working on the third book now, State of Control. You can learn more about Thomas and his character Virgil from Scott’s popular State Series at his site.

Any way this character questionnaire is a really fun idea. Usually when people ask questions about my character they have to be sworn in first. So this is a nice change.

I’ll be talking about a character from an upcoming short story. The story will be available soon and I’ll be giving it away to my newsletter subscribers. So you should be one of those.

MEET MY CHARACTER

Q: What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or a historic person?

A: Meet Fidget—a fat little beagle that is happiest when eating, looking forward to eating or thinking about eating. While Fidget is a fictional character, he is based on a beagle that I know. It’s my hope that, once the story comes out, the real life beagle is either flattered by the similarities or unaware of them all together. A beagle with a lawyer is nothing to scoff at as anyone who crossed Charles Schultz knows well.

Q: When and where is the story set?

A: The story is set in the near future in general. Specifically it takes place in a typical suburban home three days after Fidget’s owner has died from an apocalyptic contagion.

It’s a comedy.

Q: What should we know about him/her?

A: Fidget is convinced that barking is an effective means of squirrel control, cat domination and property protection. He believes that barks work just like bullets—mowing down anything he fires them at. He is very excitable, easily distracted and devoted to the other dog in the house, a Great Dane named Sasquatch.

Q: What is the main conflict? What messes up his/her life?

A: It’s not so much that Fidget’s owner has passed away as much as it is he passed away possessing the secret of how doors work. Fidget and Sasquatch are now trapped in what was once a loving and plentiful home facing starvation because Fidget ate all of the food.

Q: What is the personal goal of the character?

A: Bacon. Bacon is Fidget’s personal goal. Escape, survival and preventing squirrels from taking over the world are all distant second to bacon. So distant, in fact, that they are fourth, thirteenth and third respectively.

Q: Is there a working title for this short story, and can we read more about it?

A: The working, and most likely final, title for this short story is Gone to the Dogs and you can read the whole thing shortly. I’ll be giving the story away to my newsletter subscribers so sign up while you’re here.

Q: When can we expect the story to be published?

A: The story will be published soon. Hopefully in the next week or so. I’m just awaiting final tweaks on the cover so you should go ahead and sign up now. My generosity has a very narrow window. You don’t want to miss it.

 

Thanks again to Thomas Scott for asking me to participate. Check out his work. You’ll love it.

Now I get to draw some other writers into this:

Ales Kimmell has a hatred of squirrels on par with Fidget’s.

Website

Twitter

Clayton Smith also finds the Apocalypse funny.

Website

Twitter

Facebook

And Steven Luna finds everything funny except for things that are not.

Website

Twitter

Facebook

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Ebooks vs Real Books: The Debate Still Rages, Apparently

I’ve had an e-reader for a little over three years now and I’m finally ready to weigh in on the debate: E-Books vs Real Books.

I have always loved reading. Delving into the stories and getting lost in the author’s imaginary world. If someone asked me what a book was about I would describe the plot and the characters struggle. I would mention some of the more unique aspects of the world inside: Gulliver Foyle’s ability to “jaunt” in This Stars My Destination, the resurrection express in To Your Scattered Bodies Go, the real hobbling scene in Misery. It had never occurred to me the describe the binding, paper quality or general heft of the book. I never said, “The Pillars of the Earth is great story but don’t read it, the book is really heavy and a pain to haul around.”

This is why it came as a surprise to me when I encountered such vehement opinions on books vs ebooks. To me it was the story inside that mattered, not how the story got into my head. But, I blow with the wind so I figured I should have an opinion and dig in my heels whenever the topic came up.

In weighing the pros and cons, weight obviously became a factor. If you’ve ever moved an extensive home library, you’ll understand that ebooks have the edge there. However, they lost out when it came to showing off. When someone first walks into my home they have to pass by the bookshelf. Without having to tell them, they can instantly see what a smart person I am. One quick glance and they know that I’m better than them. Forcing them to browse my kindle library is time consuming and has been awkward at best.

When reading a horrible book, real books are clear winners. You can’t slam a kindle, nook or tablet in disgust. Well, I guess you can but it would get expensive. Likewise, using a tablet as a missile isn’t even on the list of options. I guess you could hurl it at an intruder if it was a life or death situation, but you wouldn’t just throw it across the room to make a point. A real book excels at this. The fluttering pages rip through the wind drawing all kinds of attention and, if thrown just right, it slams flat on the ground with a tremendous smack that commands respect. You don’t have to say another word. Throw an iPad like that and the next thing you say is, “Nobody move. Would someone who is wearing shoes go get a broom.”

Also, there is no better place to hide something than in a book. I’m reminded of Henderson the Rain King in which Henderson’s father used cash as bookmarks and Henderson’s habit of going through the books on the shelf looking for the cash. I thought this was a great idea. I had my house broken into before. They didn’t touch the books. They’re heavy. They’re worthless. And, my guess is, the crooks were completely baffled by what all the funny markings on them were. But, if you had a tablet lying around, you can bet it would go in the pillowcase with everything else, because it has Angry Birds on it and criminals love playing Angry Birds.

So physical books are really better at the physical things. But ebooks have some great points, too. I’m basically a child. Also, I’m a big fan of immediate gratification. If I see a book I want to read I can be reading it seconds later. And they’re usually cheaper which is important to me and other people that use money to buy things like food.

I can read anywhere. Even if I don’t have the book with me. If I’m stuck in a long line at the grocery store, I can pull out my phone and read. If I’m on the train for some weird reason I can pull up the book to the page I left it and disappear. If I’m in the middle of a conversation and the person is boring me, I can instantly access someone who is better with words.

True, people can’t see what I’m reading. The ereader doesn’t have a dust jacket to tell them that I’m in the me too club of the latest bestseller. And, as I said, when I’m done it can’t go on a shelf as a another conquest of my staggering intellect. But, it goes one better. Once I’m finished reading I can instantly update to multiple social networks “I’ve read another book and you haven’t. Good luck keeping up with my brilliant mind” and it doesn’t seem braggy because Facebook said it for me. So there’s that.

So after three years I though I had finally come down on the side of ebooks. But then Amazon launched a program where I buy the real book and get the ebook for free. I no longer had to decided. Now I can get the ebook instantly and still have the real book around for throwing across the room, smashing bugs or Jason Bourning anyone that busts through my front door.

So in conclusion, just get the story into my head. Because, that’s what a book is and the delivery doesn’t matter.

As long as it’s not an audio book. Don’t get me started.

All of my print books are available at Amazon and come with a free download of the ebook.

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