Cate Ellink's Blog, page 41

Sunday Story - Cafe Nix

Did you know I wrote an epilogue for Deep Diving? It's in a little book called It Happened At Cafe Nix, which is a story set in a Cafe, where a whole heap of Escape authors introduce their characters through epilogues or prologues or deleted scenes or related scenes. It's a great way to 'meet' new authors and sample their writing - as well as being an awesome story by itself.

So, why am I telling you this?

Because I wanted to show the photo in this tweet. It's clean, so it's safe to click. It's a couple of Storm players, one with his baby and another greeting the child.

Not this photo exactly, but photos similar to this were a bit of an inspiration for the Cooper Sterling character in Deep Diving. You don't often see men-who-aren't-dads, especially footy players, interacting with kids, and it melts my heart.

So that's why Cooper Sterling doesn't worry when Sam wants a child. He loves kids. And in the epilogue, when he's holding the baby in the Cafe and being the adoring Dad...this is the sort of photo I had in my head.

Anyway, that's my gratuitous post for the month. You'd think I'd move on, wouldn't you?

If you're interested in reading It Happened At Cafe Nix, you can find it:

Amazon AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/Happened-at-Cafe-Nix-ebook/dp/B00Z06ROKS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1437707579&sr=1-1&keywords=It+Happened+At+Cafe+Nix

Amazon US: http://www.amazon.com/Happened-at-Cafe-Nix-ebook/dp/B00Z06ROKS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1437707654&sr=1-1&keywords=it+happened+at+cafe+nix

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/It-Happened-at-Cafe-Nix-ebook/dp/B00Z06ROKS

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/it-happened-at-cafe-nix

Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/547630

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/it-happened-at-cafe-nix/id1002219894?mt=11

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/31140939-it-happened-at-cafe-nix

NB It's minimal cost at Amazon, but free elsewhere

Phallic Friday - tattoos

Today's fetish is tattoos. I'm not talking about the single tattoo you get, and probably not even that sleeve, or those sleeves. This is more when tattoos become who you are, or change who you are.

A good example, and probably the first person I saw who did this, is The Lizardman. He has a website here. He has tattooed his body, and had other body modifications, so that he now resembles a lizard. He has a FAQ section which makes for interesting reading. His reason for body modification has everything to do with performance art, as well as philosophical questioning on what it means to be human. He makes no mention of the word fetish...and maybe it's not a true fetish because it doesn't seem to be done for sexual gratification. So maybe I need to re-think him as an example. But he's the first person who pops into my mind when I think of a tattooing fetish.

When Googling this, I've found sites where people talk about sexual gratification from the pain of being tattooed (stigmatophilia). One guy says "...I just love having ink, I love getting it, I love the pain, I love the healing, I love looking at it and I love when women touch it." He's on his way to getting his whole body covered in tatts.

There are people who get off on self-tattooing. These may not be intricate designs, just a series of dots. There are websites that link tattoos with another fetish, the most common seems to be foot fetishes linked with tattoo fetish, so there are heaps of videos of feet being tattooed. And if that's your thing...you must seriously love youtube!

One of the Dragons footy players has some serious tattoos that tell the story of his life. I don't know if he'd call it a fetish, but there are heaps and heaps of tattoos on him - and still space for more. If you're interested, Google "Josh Dugan tattoos" there's a few stories about his tatts and some stunning photos of them too. I have to admit to studying them quite closely when we're at the Dragons games (Mr E's team)...they've inspired a bit of a story too. I develop a little bit more of the story at each game we go to. So I might have to do a whole story with a guy who has a tattoo fetish, and a girl who's an artist, mesmerised by his tatts.

Are you a fan of tatts? Or do you have a tattoo fetish?

Wildlife Wednesday - garden spiders (with photo)

I have heaps of spiders in my garden, which I love but Mr E detests. I guess most of them are orb weaving spiders because they all have webs out in breezeways to catch unsuspecting insects...but I've really no idea what type of spiders they are.

If you're a regular reader, you'll know I'm not good at the identification part of wildlife. And when we get to the fine details, I'm hopeless.

But OMG, could I be right? I just did a Google search on orb spiders and the trusty Australian Museum site has a page on Garden Orb Weaving Spiders, you can find it here.

So, my spider doesn't look half as hairy as theirs but since there are over 100 species, maybe that's okay. My spider has the right body shape, and is about the right size (mine's probably only 1 cm not 2-3 cm), so I'm not looking too bad so far :) Maybe all these Wednesday posts have improved my skills!!

The good news is that these spiders are reluctant to bite. Now, that's good news.

But the little things only live for a year. During autumn little spiderlings hatch from eggs, build their webs and wait out winter. In spring they start to grow so they mature in summer, ready to mate and lay eggs (females anyway). Then the females die off in autumn.

So I should keep my tiny little spiders and their webs. Because in spring they'll start growing and making more spiders. Won't Mr E love that!!! :)

Phallic Friday - piercings

Today's fetish is piercings. Body piercings are becoming more acceptable in society than when I was a kid. It was rare when I was growing up for anyone to even have their ears pierced, now, even babies have their ears pierced without a lot of kerfuffle.

But this fetish is more than ears. This is about piercings in lots of body parts, but more particularly those associated with sex. So not just genitals, but tongues and nipples too.

People have all manner of reasons for piercings, some like the look, or the way it feels, or the extra pleasure a piercing can give if used correctly.

There are some who use piercing as a part of their sexual play. They may insert decorated needles to form a pattern (eg corset) or to enhance the pleasure-pain of a sex act, or foreplay. These piercings aren't permanent. I've also heard it called needle play.

Piercings can also include stretching of the pierced site, to allow for 'holes' to develop which can also be used for decoration/jewellery and/or play.

Piercing isn't new, it's been used in some cultures for centuries.

If you're interested, Wikipedia has images for these, but if you don't want to go checking it out, here it is in words :)

Male Genital Piercings include:
Ampallang: a horizontal piercing through the penis
Apadravya: a vertical piercing through the penis
Prince Albert: a ring-style piercing that extends along the underside of the glans from the urethral opening to where the glans meets the shaft of the penis
Reverse Prince Albert: enters through the urethra and exits through a hole pierced in the top of the glans
Dydoe:  pierces through the coronal rim of the glans
There's also foreskin piercing (if uncircumcised), frenum piercing (at the back of the head), lorum piercing (where penis and scrotum connect) and hafada piercing (on the scrotum).

Female Genital Piercing include:
Various clitoral piercings, along with labial and vulval piercings, and piercing of the mons pubis.

There's also pubic and anal piercings (anal through the anus itself, and guiche that passes horizontally through the perineum).

This fetish will definitely be used in the story. As for me, I don't even have my ears pierced!

How do you go with this fetish?

Wildlife Wednesday - Masked Plover

Masked Plovers are also known as Spur Winged Plovers and Masked Lapwings. They aren't sea birds but they do forage along the shallows. We had them when we were in inland NSW, so they're by no means associated with the coast. They're mostly associated with grasslands.

You might know them for their not-terribly-pretty call. Or maybe it's that yellow, plastic-like, face that let's you know it's them. Or maybe it's the way they swoop you when you're too close to the nest they just scrape into the ground somewhere, or too close to their chicks when they hatch.

They're pretty funny birds. We seem to always have some residents that live around our house wherever we live. The ones here have raised at least 3 batches of chicks in 6 years, but I'm not sure how the chicks went once they moved from our immediate house and surrounds. Last year they laid their eggs on our roof!! Now that was noisy :)

A pair mate and share duties at incubating and rearing the chicks. If in danger, one of the pair often tries a distraction away from where their eggs/chicks are, while the other runs around also causing distraction but close enough for protection too.

On their wings, at the front where it bends like an 'elbow' they have a little yellow hook, which is the spur from where they get their name. They use this for defense, but it's rare that people get caught by it.

The chicks are fluffy little downy balls on long skinny legs. I'll try to dig up a photo because I'm sure I've got some of them in the yard. The parents are really protective of the little ones, because they can't fly. They run fast and huddle under the parent's wings. And they run on command. A sharp yell from a parent and the chicks obey as fast as anything. They were lots of fun for the few days the parents allowed them to stay in my yard.

Phallic Friday - exhibitionism

Exhibitionism is today's fetish. The freedictionary.com gives this definition:
1. The act or practice of deliberately behaving so as to attract attention.2. Psychiatry A psychosexual disorder marked by the compulsive exposure of the genitals in public. I'm naturally an introvert, which I think is a good thing, otherwise this would be my fetish of choice! There's something thrilling about having an intimate act witnessed by others - and I'm not talking about a wild cheering crowd, or having it displayed to the masses. My idea would be more of a peep-hole visitor, or someone stumbling on you. Years ago when I was a talker addict, a couple of cyber-friends were arranging their meet. He said she should wear a big flowing skirt, like a gypsy skirt. She laughed and said she thought he'd prefer a tight mini. But no, he wanted a large flowing skirt so when they met in the park, if they wanted to have sex, she could sit on his lap and no one would know what they were doing. God, I couldn't get that vision from my head. Imagine having sex like that, where anyone could see, would know what you were doing. I'm sad to report that it didn't happen like that when they met - or so they told me!
I'm not a big fan of clothes - except in winter when I layer upon layer to keep warm - so when I was younger, nudist colonies quite appeal to me. I was shocked to find that they don't go for sex in public. It kind of put a dampener on my desire to visit. Not that I really wanted to see public sex everywhere I went...I just wanted the ability to have sex where someone might catch you and watch. And of course they'd never giggle, you'd never jiggle, and everything would be perfect! :) You might notice it's kind of a theme that pops up in a lot of my stories - public sex when someone stumbles across them in the act. There's something in that adage of 'those who can't, write.' I don't know that I'd ever have the courage to have sex where I could be caught, and with cameras on every device in every pocket, it's even less likely to happen now.
Sometimes I'm not sure it's an exhibitionist tendency I have... maybe it's more that I don't think nudity or sex are wrong, therefore I don't think they should be hidden away and made out to be wrong/smutty/dirty/forbidden. I think we need to be more open about the human form in all it's differences ... but I'm not going first! 
So, although I like the idea of this fetish, I'm way too much of an introvert to participate.
Do you have any exhibitionist tendencies, or wishes?

Wildlife Wednesday - pelican

I know I have an over-abundance of pelican posts...but I had a very friendly encounter the other day. This series of photos shows a pelican who left her/his group to come and... hmm... I'd like to think s/he came to check me out a bit closer, but maybe s/he was guarding something! Whatever he was doing, s/he came right up close to me, which was quite exciting! Love my brushes with nature.

Unbroken by Alex McKinnon

Fifteen months ago, a young Rugby League player was injured in a tackle that has left him an incomplete quadriplegic. He's written a book to tell his story, but also to raise money for his life ahead. The book's called Unbroken and you can find it here (it's not at regular bookshops).

There's been a lot of support in the Rugby League community for Alex and his book. I intended to buy it and support it because he was injured playing the game I love watching. Last night, a 60 Minutes program interviewed him and it made me waver in my support.

On one hand, last night's program showed me a woman, Teigan Powell, who I admired. At 21, she knew she wanted to be with Alex forever. She'd met him when she was 16, he's 3 years older (I think), and after knowing him for a year, was pushing for everything. When the accident happened, she was studying at uni and they'd just moved in together. Her strength to support him, her genuine love and affection for him, and her determined character were inspirational to see. What a remarkable girl, and an amazing love story.

And then there was the downside. This story is awful enough, it doesn't need extra sensationalisation - yet that's where they went. Shame on 60 Minutes if it was their decision to add to an already emotional and heart breaking story.

They didn't attack the players who made the tackle, but their captain. In a most scathing way, which left me feeling cold.

One thing about rugby league that has always puzzled me, is how you keep playing when someone's been carted off badly injured. I've asked a lot of footy players this over the years (not NRL grade, but other guys) and most people have said that you don't focus on the bloke on the ground. You focus on something else. And that makes sense to me. When I see someone get hurt, usually a few blokes are there and do something until the trainer gets there - some blokes squat down for some reassuring words, some grab the guys hand, pat him on the head or shoulder, there's always something. Once that trainer's there...blokes are gone. You see it over and over again. That's football. Compartmentalise and move on.

When Alex McKinnon was hurt, this is was happened. Then the opposition captain questioned the referee about the tackle, which he is allowed to do. On the 60 Minutes episode, it implied that this questioning went on, unabated, for 10 minutes until Alex left the field. I'm sure no referee would allow that. Referees have about a 1 minute tolerance for a ranting captain in normal games. I can't imagine it was different for this game - but you know, I don't know. And that annoys me. Did 60 Minutes edit the footage so it looked like incessant ranting for 10 minutes? Or did the ref allow it because he too was shocked by the accident?

But no matter what happened, to go after the opposition captain when he's doing his job - sticking up for his blokes, protecting his team, and giving his support to his blokes - is just plain nasty.

And the timing of the attack is just rude.

But it's created discussion for the book. I still don't think you needed to over-dramatise and already dramatic story, but these days it seems to be what's done. Any publicity is good publicity, seems to be the motto.

I'd prefer it if a story was allowed to stand for itself.

If you'd like to support Alex McKinnon and his recovery, as well as adding to your book collection, you can do so by visiting the web page: http://www.alexbook.com.au/

Good luck to Alex for his recovery.

Sunday Story - Neaderthal & Rosie

This is a bit of a milestone post in that it's my 500th post! Thanks for reading me, especially if you're a regular :)

Today I want to talk about two books with unusual characters and my thoughts on them. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion (Jan 2013) hit best seller fame. Neanderthal Seeks Human by Penny Reid (March 2013) and is spoken of a 'smart romance'.

The Rosie Project was hilarious with Don Tillman's awkwardness there on display for all. He was goofy, awkward, and desperate for a wife. Until about halfway, I was sold on the story...and then Don decided he needed to change who he was, largely because of prompting by others and his need for a wife.

This shattered me and left me disliking the book. I don't mind growth and change in a character per se. What got me about this was that Don Tillman's best friend ridiculed him for his idiosyncrasies - even though he was undeserving of this. Don was "aspergery" (my invented word for the fact that I thought he sat somewhere along the Asperger's scale) and I objected to the fact that he couldn't be loved even with his peculiarities.

It's probably a pet thing of mine, related to me and to also my upbringing. Probably no one in the world agrees - because it was a very popular book! When I was in 5th class, we went to see Grease, as a school end of year excursion - it was newly released. I was 11 and sheltered, so a lot of the film passed over my head. Seeing the film caused so much kerfuffle. I went to a Catholic school and after we saw the film, the Catholic Church came out condemning it. Of course I had no understanding of what they were condemning but I wanted to know. Mum told me it was because the girl changed who she was to be liked - which I thought was insane because Danny liked Sandy more at the start when she was sweet and innocent, than at the end when they were both just part of big groups together. Yep, see, no idea about the sexual themes in that movie :) But that message stuck with me all my life. It's like it grew roots in my head and took over me. If someone liked you for who you were - why the hell would you change to fit in with a group? It made no sense to me. Hence my problem with Don Tillman.

So then this week I've read Neanderthal Seeks Human because I saw someone recommend it, and it was free when I got it. It has such a dumb title and silly cover (in my opinion), I would never have looked at it otherwise. BUT... it's wonderful. It's everything Rosie wasn't for me.

Janie is aspergery too...and Penny Reid gets right into her head with all the rubbishy trivia Janie thinks of to divert her mind from emotion and those pesky humans who drive her nuts. Janie sees herself as a Neanderthal (hence the title). She has the hots for a security guard in her office building who she pervs on every lunchtime, and some afternoons, for a few weeks. Then she meets him and he's not only hot but he seems to 'get' her and all her awkwardness.

"...surprisingly, I didn't actually feel any outrage at being called terrified, oblivious, and irrational. His assessment was, more or less, on target. The fact that he knew these things about me, and he seemed to accept them regardless, made me feel better and worse."

"But, in spite of how totally nuts you are, I wouldn't change anything about you." (Hero, Quinn, says this to Janie)

There's some fabulous writing, like:
"...caused my stomach to become like hair trapped in bubblegum - a massive tangle of heinous, untenable knots."

"I was in the Matrix, and I'd just unwittingly taken the red pill; my thoughts became as agitated and circular as a washing machine on the spin cycle."

It was refreshing to read a goofy heroine who found a man who loved her just as she was, who accepted her quirkiness, and even enjoyed those quirks. Her friends are the same - a bunch of women who love her and her eccentricities. It was my kind of story - she grew as a character, but she didn't change who she was.

So, if you weren't a fan of Rosie, or even if you were, you might like Neanderthal. Hope you do!

Happy Reading!

Phallic Friday - voyeurism

Today's fetish is voyeurism. It always makes me think of that old advertisement, was it for Guinness, when the guy says, "I like to watch." I looked on youtube for it and found this one here - it's not the one I remember, but anyway! Here's the one I remember.

Voyeurism is described on dictionary.com as "the practice of obtaining sexual gratification by looking at sexual objects or acts, especially secretively." 

Voyeurs can do this in person, often using peepholes, or by using technology such as cameras, video recorders, etc. There are clubs where voyeurs can pay to watch sexual activities. And the internet is a voyeur's paradise - easily available porn videos both professionally shot and amateur videos, plus with live streaming and every computer/phone having a camera, there's a huge number of people with sites where they perform.

If you're having sex in public now, you don't just have to be careful of someone walking by and watching...but someone walking by, filming, and allowing the world to watch. Some months ago there was a NZ pair caught at night in the office with the lights on having wild sex. Not only was this watched by people from across the road it was filmed and broadcast everywhere - even the news in Australia. Here it is in the UK Daily Mail. When something is broadcast like this, we all become voyeurs as we watch it (even if we don't enjoy it per se), and the couple are non-consensual exhibitionists (more on exhibitionism next week).

In the 'old days' Peeping Toms were the only voyeurs I knew...they were the 'scary men who'd watch you if you didn't draw the curtains at night'. Did your Mum every scare you with those stories? Mine tried to, maybe because I was showing exhibitionist tendencies at a young age which caused her to panic! I wasn't known for enjoying clothes when I was a kid.

Anyway, voyeurs in a fetish/sex club is definitely something I'll be including in my story. I think it's a fascinating topic, and a fascinating fetish.

Do you, "...like to watch"?